第88章

Shereproachedherself，coloured，andlookedfearfullytowardsherfatherandmother。Sheneednothavebeenuneasy。

Therewasnosignofdispleasure，orevenofhearingher。

TheywereperfectlyfreefromanyjealousyofMansfield。

Shewasaswelcometowishherselfthereastobethere。

ItwassadtoFannytoloseallthepleasuresofspring。

Shehadnotknownbeforewhatpleasuresshe_had_toloseinpassingMarchandAprilinatown。Shehadnotknownbeforehowmuchthebeginningsandprogressofvegetationhaddelightedher。Whatanimation，bothofbodyandmind，shehadderivedfromwatchingtheadvanceofthatseasonwhichcannot，inspiteofitscapriciousness，beunlovely，andseeingitsincreasingbeautiesfromtheearliestflowersinthewarmestdivisionsofheraunt’sgarden，totheopeningofleavesofheruncle’splantations，andthegloryofhiswoods。Tobelosingsuchpleasureswasnotrifle；tobelosingthem，becauseshewasinthemidstofclosenessandnoise，tohaveconfinement，badair，badsmells，substitutedforliberty，freshness，fragrance，andverdure，wasinfinitelyworse：

buteventheseincitementstoregretwerefeeble，comparedwithwhatarosefromtheconvictionofbeingmissedbyherbestfriends，andthelongingtobeusefultothosewhowerewantingher!

Couldshehavebeenathome，shemighthavebeenofservicetoeverycreatureinthehouse。Shefeltthatshemusthavebeenofusetoall。Toallshemusthavesavedsometroubleofheadorhand；andwereitonlyinsupportingthespiritsofherauntBertram，keepingherfromtheevilofsolitude，orthestillgreaterevilofarestless，officiouscompanion，tooapttobeheighteningdangerinordertoenhanceherownimportance，herbeingtherewouldhavebeenageneralgood。Shelovedtofancyhowshecouldhavereadtoheraunt，howshecouldhavetalkedtoher，andtriedatoncetomakeherfeeltheblessingofwhatwas，andpreparehermindforwhatmightbe；

andhowmanywalksupanddownstairsshemighthavesavedher，andhowmanymessagesshemighthavecarried。

ItastonishedherthatTom’ssisterscouldbesatisfiedwithremaininginLondonatsuchatime，throughanillnesswhichhadnow，underdifferentdegreesofdanger，lastedseveralweeks。_They_mightreturntoMansfieldwhentheychose；travellingcouldbenodifficultyto_them_，andshecouldnotcomprehendhowbothcouldstillkeepaway。

IfMrs。Rushworthcouldimagineanyinterferingobligations，JuliawascertainlyabletoquitLondonwhenevershechose。

Itappearedfromoneofheraunt’slettersthatJuliahadofferedtoreturnifwanted，butthiswasall。

Itwasevidentthatshewouldratherremainwhereshewas。

FannywasdisposedtothinktheinfluenceofLondonverymuchatwarwithallrespectableattachments。

ShesawtheproofofitinMissCrawford，aswellasinhercousins；_her_attachmenttoEdmundhadbeenrespectable，themostrespectablepartofhercharacter；herfriendshipforherselfhadatleastbeenblameless。Wherewaseithersentimentnow？ItwassolongsinceFannyhadhadanyletterfromher，thatsh

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