第18章

“Themindwhichdoesnotstruggleagainstitselfunder_one_circumstance，wouldfindobjectstodistractitinthe_other_，Ibelieve；andtheinfluenceoftheplaceandofexamplemayoftenrousebetterfeelingsthanarebegunwith。Thegreaterlengthoftheservice，however，Iadmittobesometimestoohardastretchuponthemind。

Onewishesitwerenotso；butIhavenotyetleftOxfordlongenoughtoforgetwhatchapelprayersare。“

Whilethiswaspassing，therestofthepartybeingscatteredaboutthechapel，JuliacalledMr。Crawford’sattentiontohersister，bysaying，“DolookatMr。RushworthandMaria，standingsidebyside，exactlyasiftheceremonyweregoingtobeperformed。Havenottheycompletelytheairofit？“

Mr。Crawfordsmiledhisacquiescence，andsteppingforwardtoMaria，said，inavoicewhichsheonlycouldhear，“IdonotliketoseeMissBertramsonearthealtar。“

Starting，theladyinstinctivelymovedasteportwo，butrecoveringherselfinamoment，affectedtolaugh，andaskedhim，inatonenotmuchlouder，“Ifhewouldgiveheraway？“

“IamafraidIshoulddoitveryawkwardly，“washisreply，withalookofmeaning。

Julia，joiningthematthemoment，carriedonthejoke。

“Uponmyword，itisreallyapitythatitshouldnottakeplacedirectly，ifwehadbutaproperlicence，forherewearealtogether，andnothingintheworldcouldbemoresnugandpleasant。“AndshetalkedandlaughedaboutitwithsolittlecautionastocatchthecomprehensionofMr。Rushworthandhismother，andexposehersistertothewhisperedgallantriesofherlover，whileMrs。Rushworthspokewithpropersmilesanddignityofitsbeingamosthappyeventtoherwheneverittookplace。

“IfEdmundwerebutinorders!“criedJulia，andrunningtowherehestoodwithMissCrawfordandFanny：

“MydearEdmund，ifyouwerebutinordersnow，youmightperformtheceremonydirectly。Howunluckythatyouarenotordained；Mr。RushworthandMariaarequiteready。“

MissCrawford’scountenance，asJuliaspoke，mighthaveamusedadisinterestedobserver。Shelookedalmostaghastunderthenewideashewasreceiving。Fannypitiedher。

“Howdistressedshewillbeatwhatshesaidjustnow，“

passedacrosshermind。

“Ordained!“saidMissCrawford；“what，areyoutobeaclergyman？“

“Yes；Ishalltakeorderssoonaftermyfather’sreturn——

probablyatChristmas。“

MissCrawford，rallyingherspirits，andrecoveringhercomplexion，repliedonly，“IfIhadknownthisbefore，Iwouldhavespokenoftheclothwithmorerespect，“

andturnedthesubject。

Thechapelwassoonafterwardslefttothesilenceandstillnesswhichreignedinit，withfewinterruptions，throughouttheyear。

MissBertram，displeasedwithhersister，ledtheway，andallseemedtofeelthattheyhadbeentherelongenough。

Thelowerpartofthehousehadbeennowentirelyshewn，andMrs。Rushworth，neverwearyinthecause，wouldhaveproceededtowardstheprincipalstaircase，andtakenthemthroughalltheroomsabove，ifhersonhadnotinterposedwithadoubtoftherebeingtimeenough。

“Forif，“saidhe，withthesortofself-evidentpropositionwhichmanyaclearerheaddoesnotalwaysavoid，“weare_too_longgoingoverthehouse，weshallnothavetimeforwhatistobedoneoutofdoors。Itispasttwo，andwearetodineatfive。“

Mrs。Rushworthsubmitted；andthequestionofsurveyingthegrounds，withthewhoandthehow，waslikelytobemorefullyagitated，andMrs。Norriswasbeginningtoarrangebywhatjunctionofcarriagesandhorsesmostcouldbedone，whentheyoungpeople，meetingwithanoutwarddoor，temptinglyopenonaflightofstepswhichledimmediatelytoturfandshrubs，andallthesweetsofpleasure-grounds，asbyoneimpulse，onewishforairandliberty，allwalkedout。

“Supposeweturndownhereforthepresent，“saidMrs。Rushworth，civillytakingthehintandfollowingthem。“Herearethegreatestnumberofourplants，andherearethecuriouspheasants。“

“Query，“saidMr。Crawford，lookingroundhim，“whetherwemaynotfindsomethingtoemployusherebeforewegofarther？Iseewallsofgreatpromise。

Mr。Rushworth，shallwesummonacouncilonthislawn？“

“James，“saidMrs。Rushworthtoherson，“Ibelievethewildernesswillbenewtoalltheparty。TheMissBertramshaveneverseenthewildernessyet。“

Noobjectionwasmade，butforsometimethereseemednoinclinationtomoveinanyplan，ortoanydistance。

Allwereattractedatfirstbytheplantsorthepheasants，andalldispersedaboutinhappyindependence。

Mr。Crawfordwasthefirsttomoveforwardtoexaminethecapabilitiesofthatendofthehouse。Thelawn，boundedoneachsidebyahighwall，containedbeyondthefirstplantedareaabowling-green，andbeyondthebowling-greenalongterracewalk，backedbyironpalisades，andcommandingaviewoverthemintothetopsofthetreesofthewildernessimmediatelyadjoining。

Itwasagoodspotforfault-finding。Mr。CrawfordwassoonfollowedbyMissBertramandMr。Rushworth；andwhen，afteralittletime，theothersbegantoformintoparties，thesethreewerefoundinbusyconsultationontheterracebyEdmund，MissCrawford，andFanny，whoseemedasnaturallytounite，andwho，afterashortparticipationoftheirregretsanddifficulties，leftthemandwalkedon。

Theremainingthree，Mrs。Rushworth，Mrs。Norris，andJulia，werestillfarbehind；forJulia，whosehappystarnolongerprevailed，wasobligedtokeepbythesideofMrs。Rushworth，andrestrainherimpatientfeettothatlady’sslowpace，whileheraunt，havingfalleninwiththehousekeeper，whowascomeouttofeedthepheasants，waslingeringbehindingossipwithher。PoorJulia，theonlyoneoutoftheninenottolerablysatisfiedwiththeirlot，wasnowinastateofcompletepenance，andasdifferentfromtheJuliaofthebarouche-boxascouldwellbeimagined。Thepolitenesswhichshehadbeenbroughtuptopractiseasadutymadeitimpossibleforhertoescape；whilethewantofthathigherspeciesofself-command，thatjustconsiderationofothers，thatknowledgeofherownheart，thatprincipleofright，whichhadnotformedanyessentialpartofhereducation，madehermiserableunderit。

“Thisisinsufferablyhot，“saidMissCrawford，whentheyhadtakenoneturnontheterrace，andweredrawingasecondtimetothedoorinthemiddlewhichopenedtothewilderness。“Shallanyofusobjecttobeingcomfortable？

Hereisanicelittlewood，ifonecanbutgetintoit。

Whathappinessifthedoorshouldnotbelocked!butofcourseitis；forinthesegreatplacesthegardenersaretheonlypeoplewhocangowheretheylike。“

Thedoor，however，provednottobelocked，andtheywereallagreedinturningjoyfullythroughit，andleavingtheunmitigatedglareofdaybehind。Aconsiderableflightofstepslandedtheminthewilderness，whichwasaplantedwoodofabouttwoacres，andthoughchieflyoflarchandlaurel，andbeechcutdown，andthoughlaidoutwithtoomuchregularity，wasdarknessandshade，andnaturalbeauty，comparedwiththebowling-greenandtheterrace。Theyallfelttherefreshmentofit，andforsometimecouldonlywalkandadmire。Atlength，afterashortpause，MissCrawfordbeganwith，“Soyouaretobeaclergyman，Mr。Bertram。Thisisratherasurprisetome。“

“Whyshoulditsurpriseyou？Youmustsupposemedesignedforsomeprofession，andmightperceivethatIamneitheralawyer，norasoldier，norasailor。“

“Verytrue；but，inshort，ithadnotoccurredtome。

Andyouknowthereisgenerallyanuncleoragrandfathertoleaveafortunetothesecondson。“

“Averypraiseworthypractice，“saidEdmund，“butnotquiteuniversal。Iamoneoftheexceptions，and_being_one，mustdosomethingformyself。“

“’Butwhyareyoutobeaclergyman？Ithought_that_

wasalwaysthelotoftheyoungest，wherethereweremanytochusebeforehim。“

“Doyouthinkthechurchitselfneverchosen，then？“

“_Never_isablackword。Butyes，inthe_never_

ofconversation，whichmeans_not__very__often_，Idothinkit。Forwhatistobedoneinthechurch？

Menlovetodistinguishthemselves，andineitheroftheotherlinesdistinctionmaybegained，butnotinthechurch。

Aclergymanisnothing。“

“The_nothing_ofconversationhasitsgradations，Ihope，aswellasthe_never_。Aclergymancannotbehighinstateorfashion。Hemustnotheadmobs，orsetthetonindress。ButIcannotcallthatsituationnothingwhichhasthechargeofallthatisofthefirstimportancetomankind，individuallyorcollectivelyconsidered，temporallyandeternally，whichhastheguardianshipofreligionandmorals，andconsequentlyofthemannerswhichresultfromtheirinfluence。Nooneherecancallthe_office_nothing。Ifthemanwhoholdsitisso，itisbytheneglectofhisduty，byforegoingitsjustimportance，andsteppingoutofhisplacetoappearwhatheoughtnottoappear。“

“_You_assigngreaterconsequencetotheclergymanthanonehasbeenusedtoheargiven，orthanIcanquitecomprehend。