第22章

triumphofthiskindislikestrongwinetovanity，self-love，andalltheself-regardingfeelings。Toposeperpetuallyasadivinityisadraughtsopotentinitsintoxicatingeffects，thatIamnolongersurprisedtoseewomengrowselfish，callous，andfrivolousintheheartofthisadoration。Thefumesofsocietymounttothehead。Youlavishthewealthofyoursoulandspirit，thetreasuresofyourtime，thenoblesteffortsofyourwill，uponacrowdofpeoplewhorepayyouinsmilesandjealousy。Thefalsecoinoftheirprettyspeeches，compliments，andflatteryistheonlyreturntheygiveforthesolidgoldofyourcourageandsacrifices，andallthethoughtthatmustgotokeepupwithoutflaggingthestandardofbeauty，dress，sparklingtalk，andgeneralaffability。Youareperfectlyawarehowmuchitcosts，andthatthewholethingisafraud，butyoucannotkeepoutofthevortex。

Ah!mysweetheart，howonecravesforarealfriend!HowprecioustomearetheloveanddevotionofFelipe，andhowmyheartgoesouttoyou!JoyfullyindeedarewepreparingforourmovetoChantepleurs，wherewecanrestfromthecomedyoftheRuedeBacandoftheParisdrawing-rooms。Havingjustreadyourletteragain，IfeelthatI

cannotbetterdescribethisdemoniacparadisethanbysayingthatnowomanoffashioninPariscanpossiblybeagoodmother。

Good-bye，then，forashorttime，dearone。WeshallstayatChantepleursonlyaweekatmost，andshallbewithyouaboutMay10th。Soweareactuallytomeetagainaftermorethantwoyears!Whatchangessincethen!Hereweare，bothmatrons，bothinourpromisedland——Ioflove，youofmotherhood。

IfIhavenotwritten，mysweetest，itisnotbecauseIhaveforgottenyou。Andwhatofthemonkeygodson？Ishestillprettyandacredittome？Hemustbemorethanninemonths’oldnow。Ishoulddearlyliketobepresentwhenhemakeshisfirststepsuponthisearth；butMacumertellsmethatevenprecociousinfantshardlywalkattenmonths。

Weshallhavesomegoodgossipsthere，and“cutpinafores，“astheBloisfolksay。Ishallseewhetherachild，asthesayinggoes，spoilsthepattern。

P。S——Ifyoudeigntoreplyfromyourmaternalheights，addresstoChantepleurs。Iamjustoff。

MME。DEL’ESTORADETOMME。DEMACUMER

Mychild，——Ifeveryoubecomeamother，youwillfindoutthatitisimpossibletowritelettersduringthefirsttwomonthsofyournursing。Mary，myEnglishnurse，andIarebothquiteknockedup。ItistrueIhadnottoldyouthatIwasdeterminedtodoeverythingmyself。BeforetheeventIhadwithmyownfingerssewnthebabyclothesandembroideredandedgedwithlacethelittlecaps。Iamaslave，mypet，aslavedayandnight。

Tobeginwith，MasterArmand-Louistakeshismealswhenitpleaseshim，andthatisalways；thenhehasoftentobechanged，washed，anddressed。Hismotherissofondofwatchinghimsleep，ofsingingsongstohim，ofwalkinghimaboutinherarmsonafineday，thatshehaslittletimelefttoattendtoherself。Inshort，whatsocietyhasbeentoyou，mychild——ourchild——hasbeentome!

Icannottellyouhowfullandrichmylifehasbecome，andIlongforyourcomingthatyoumayseeforyourself。Theonlythingis，Iamafraidhewillsoonbeteething，andthatyouwillfindapeevish，cryingbaby。Sofarhehasnotcriedmuch，forIamalwaysathand。

Babiesonlycrywhentheirwantsarenotunderstood，andIamconstantlyonthelookoutforhis。Oh!mysweet，myhearthasopenedupsowide，whileyouallowyourstoshrinkandshrivelatthebiddingofsociety!Ilookforyourcomingwithallahermit’slonging。Iwantsomuchtoknowwhatyouthinkofl’Estorade，justasyounodoubtarecuriousformyopinionofMacumer。

Writetomefromyourlastresting-place。Thegentlemenwanttogoandmeetourdistinguishedguests。Come，QueenofParis，cometoourhumblegrange，where

MME。DEMACUMERTOTHEVICOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE

Thenameonthisaddresswilltellyou，dear，thatmypetitionhasbeengranted。Yourfather-in-lawisnowComtedel’Estorade。IwouldnotleaveParistillIhadobtainedthegratificationofyourwishes，andIamwritinginthepresenceoftheKeeperoftheSeals，whohascometotellmethatthepatentissigned。

Good-byeforashorttime!

THESAMETOTHESAME

MARSEILLES，July。

Iamashamedtothinkhowmysuddenflightwillhavetakenyoubysurprise。ButsinceIamaboveallhonest，andsinceIloveyounotonebittheless，Ishalltellyouthetruthinfourwords：Iamhorriblyjealous!

Felipe’seyesweretoooftenonyou。Youusedtohavelittletalkstogetheratthefootofyourrock，whichwereatorturetome；andI

wasfastbecomingirritableandunlikemyself。YourtrulySpanishbeautycouldnotfailtorecalltohimhisnativeland，andalongwithitMarieHeredia，andIcanbejealousofthepasttoo。Yourmagnificentblackhair，yourlovelydarkeyes，yourbrow，wherethepeacefuljoyofmotherhoodstandsoutradiantagainsttheshadowswhichtellofpastsuffering，thefreshnessofyours

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