第5章

Humblecountrypleasureswillenliventhemonotonyofmyfuture。Itshallbemyambitiontoenlargetheoasisroundmyhouse，andtogiveitthelordlyshadeoffinetrees。Myturf，thoughProvencal，shallbealwaysgreen。Ishallcarrymyparkupthehillsideandplantonthehighestpointsomeprettykiosque，whence，perhaps，myeyesmaycatchtheshimmeroftheMediterranean。Orangeandlemontrees，andallchoicestthingsthatgrow，shallembellishmyretreat；andtherewillIbeamotheramongmychildren。ThepoetryofNature，whichnothingcandestroy，shallhedgeusround；andstandingloyallyatthepostofduty，weneedfearnodanger。Myreligiousfeelingsaresharedbymyfather-in-lawandbytheChevalier。

Ah!darling，mylifeunrollsitselfbeforemyeyeslikeoneofthegreathighwaysofFrance，levelandeasy，shadedwithevergreentrees。

ThiscenturywillnotseeanotherBonaparte；andmychildren，ifI

haveany，willnotberentfromme。Theywillbeminetotrainandmakemenof——thejoyofmylife。Ifyoualsoaretruetoyourdestiny，youwhooughttofindyourmateamongstthegreatonesoftheearth，thechildrenofyourReneewillnotlackazealousprotectress。

Farewell，then，formeatleast，totheromancesandthrillingadventuresinwhichweusedourselvestoplaythepartofheroine。Thewholestoryofmylifeliesbeforemenow；itsgreatcriseswillbetheteethingandnutritionoftheyoungMastersdel’Estorade，andthemischieftheydotomyshrubsandme。Toembroidertheircaps，tobelovedandadmiredbyasicklymanatthemouthoftheGemenosvalley——

therearemypleasures。PerhapssomedaythecountrydamemaygoandspendawinterinMarseilles；butdangerdoesnothauntthepurlieusofanarrowprovincialstage。Therewillbenothingtofear，notevenanadmirationsuchascouldonlymakeawomanproud。Weshalltakeagreatdealofinterestinthesilkwormsforwhosebenefitourmulberry-leaveswillbesold!WeshallknowthestrangevicissitudesoflifeinProvence，andthestormsthatmayattackevenapeacefulhousehold。Quarrelswillbeimpossible，forM。del’Estoradehasformallyannouncedthathewillleavethereinsinhiswife’shands；

andasIshalldonothingtoremindhimofthiswiseresolve，itislikelyhemaypersevereinit。

You，mydearLouise，willsupplytheromanceofmylife。Soyoumustnarratetomeinfullallyouradventures，describeyourballsandparties，tellmewhatyouwear，whatflowerscrownyourlovelygoldenlocks，andwhatarethewordsandmannersofthemenyoumeet。Yourotherselfwillbealwaysthere——listening，dancing，feelingherfinger-tipspressed——withyou。IfonlyIcouldhavesomefuninParisnowandthen，whileyouplayedthehouse-motheratLaCrampade!suchisthenameofourgrange。PoorM。del’Estorade，whofanciesheismarryingonewoman!Willhefindouttherearetwo？

Iamwritingnonsensenow，andashenceforthIcanonlybefoolishbyproxy，Ihadbetterstop。Onekiss，then，oneachcheek——mylipsarestillvirginal，hehasonlydaredtotakemyhand。Oh!ourdeferenceandproprietyarequitedisquieting，Iassureyou。There，Iamoffagain……Good-bye，dear。

/P。S。/——Ihavejustopenedyourthirdletter。Mydear，Ihaveaboutonethousandlivrestodisposeof；spendthemformeonprettythings，suchaswecan’tfindhere，norevenatMarseilles。Whilespeedingonyourownbusiness，giveathoughttotherecluseofLaCrampade。

RememberthatonneithersidehavetheheadsofthefamilyanypeopleoftasteinParistomaketheirpurchases。Ishallreplytoyourletterlater。

Theaddressofthisletter，mybrother，willshowyouthattheheadofyourhouseisoutofreachofdanger。IfthemassacreofourancestorsintheCourtofLionsmadeSpaniardsandChristiansofusagainstourwill，itleftusalegacyofArabcunning；anditmaybethatIowemysafetytothebloodoftheAbencerragesstillflowinginmyveins。

FearmadeFerdinand’sactingsogood，thatValdezactuallybelievedinhisprotestations。ButformethepoorAdmiralwouldhavebeendonefor。Nothing，itseems，willteachtheLiberalswhatakingis。ThisparticularBourbonhasbeenlongknowntome；andthemoreHisMajestyassuredmeofhisprotection，thestrongergrewmysuspicions。AtrueSpaniardhasnoneedtorepeatapromise。Aflowofwordsisasuresignofduplicity。

ValdeztookshiponanEnglishvessel。Formyself，nosoonerdidIseethecauseofmybelovedSpainwreckedinAndalusia，thanIwrotetothestewardofmySardinianestatetomakearrangementsformyescape。

Somehardycoralfishersweredespatchedtowaitformeatapointonthecoast；andwhenFerdinandurgedtheFrenchtosecuremyperson，I

wasalreadyinmybaronyofMacumer，amidstbrigandswhodefyalllawandallavengers。

ThelastHispano-MoorishfamilyofGranadahasfoundoncemoretheshelterofanAfricandesert，andevenaSaracenhorse，inanestatewhichcomestoitfromSaracens。Howtheeyesofthesebrigands——whobutyesterdayhaddreadedmyauthority——sparkledwithsavagejoyandpridewhentheyfoundtheywereprotectingagainsttheKingofSpain’svendettatheDucdeSoria，theirmasterandaHenarez——thefirstwhohadcometovisitthemsincethetimewhentheislandbelongedtotheMoors。MorethanascoreofrifleswerereadytopointatFerdinandofBourbon，sonofaracewhichwasstillunknownwhentheAbencerragesarrivedasconquerorsonthebanksoftheLoire。

Myideahadbeentoliveontheincomeofthesehugeestates，which，unfortunately，wehavesogreatlyneglected；butmystaythereconvincedmethatthiswasimpossible，andthatQueverdo’sreportswereonlytoocorrect。Thepoormanhadtwenty-twolivesatmydisposal，andnotasingle/real/；prairiesoftwentythousandacres，andnotahouse；virginforests，andnotastickoffurniture!A

millionpiastresandaresidentmasterforhalfacenturywouldbenecessarytomakethesemagnificentlandspay。Imustseetothis。

Theconqueredhavetimeduringtheirflighttopondertheirowncaseandthatoftheirvanquishedparty。Atthespectacleofmynoblecountry，acorpseformonkstopreyon，myeyesfilledwithtears；I

readinitthepresageofSpain’sgloomyfuture。

AtMarseillesIheardofRiego’send。Painfullydiditcomehometomethatmylifealsowouldhenceforthbeamartyrdom，butamartyrdomprotractedandunnoticed。Isexistenceworthythename，whenamancannolongerdieforhiscountryorliveforawoman？Tolove，toconquer，thistwofoldformofthesamethought，isthelawgravenonoursabres，emblazonedonthevaultedroofsofourpalaces，ceaselesslywhisperedbythewater，whichrisesandfallsinourmarblefountains。Butinvaindoesitnervemyheart；thesabreisbroken，thepalaceinashes，thelivingspringsuckedupbythebarrensand。

Here，then，ismylastwillandtestament。

DonFernand，youwillunderstandnowwhyIputacheckuponyourardorandorderedyoutoremainfaithfultothe/reynetto/。Asyourbrotherandfriend，Iimploreyoutoobeyme；asyourmaster，Icommand。YouwillgototheKingandwillaskfromhimthegrantofmydignitiesandproperty，myofficeandtitles。Hewillperhapshesitate，andmaytreatyoutosomeregalscowls；butyoumusttellhimthatyouarelovedbyMarieHeredia，andthatMariecanmarrynonebutaDucdeSoria。ThiswillmaketheKingradiant。ItistheimmensefortuneoftheHerediafamilywhichalonehasstoodbetweenhimandtheaccomplishmentofmyruin。Yourproposalwillseemtohim，therefore，todeprivemeofalastresource，andhewillgladlyhandovertoyoumyspoils。

YouwillthenmarryMarie。Thesecretofthemutualloveagainstwhichyoufoughtwasnosecrettome，andIhavepreparedtheoldCounttoseeyoutakemyplace。MarieandIweremerelydoingwhatwasexpectedofusinourpositionandcarryingoutthewishesofourfathers；

everythingelseisinyourfavor。Youarebeautifulasachildoflove，andarepossessedofMarie’sheart。Iamanill-favoredSpanishgrandee，forwhomshefeelsanaversiontowhichshewillnotconfess。

SomeslightreluctancetheremaybeonthepartofthenobleSpanishgirlonaccountofmymisfortunes，butthisyouwillsoonovercome。

DucdeSoria，yourpredecessorwouldneithercostyouaregretnorrobyouofamaravedi。Mymother’sdiamonds，whichwillsufficetomakemeindependent，Iwillkeep，becausethegapcausedbytheminthefamilyestatecanbefilledbyMarie’sjewels。Youcansendthem，therefore，bymynurse，oldUrraca，theonlyoneofmyservantswhomIwishtoretain。Noonecanpreparemychocolateasshedoes。

Duringourbriefrevolution，mylifeofunremittingtoilwasreducedtothebarestnecessaries，andthesemysalarywassufficienttoprovide。Youwillthereforefindtheincomeofthelasttwoyearsinthehandsofyoursteward。Thissumismine；butaDucdeSoriacannotmarrywithoutalargeexpenditureofmoney，thereforewewilldivideit。Youwillnotrefusethiswedding-presentfromyourbrigandbrother。Besides，Imeantohaveitso。

ThebaronyofMacumer，notbeingSpanishterritory，remainstome。

ThusIhavestillacountryandaname，shouldIwishtotakeupapositionintheworldagain。

ThankHeaven，thisfinishesourbusiness，andthehouseofSoriaissaved!

AttheverymomentwhenIdropintosimpleBarondeMacumer，theFrenchcannonannouncethearrivaloftheDucd’Angouleme。YouwillunderstandwhyIbreakoff……

October。

WhenIarrivedhereIhadnottendoubloonsinmypocket。Hewouldindeedbeapoorsortofleaderwho，inthemidstofcalamitieshehasnotbeenabletoavert，hasfoundmeanstofeatherhisownnest。ForthevanquishedMoorthereremainsahorseandthedesert；fortheChristianfoiledofhishopes，thecloisterandafewgoldpieces。

Butmypresentresignationismereweariness。Iamnotyetsonearthemonasteryastohaveabandonedallthoughtsoflife。Ozalgahadgivenmeseverallettersofintroductiontomeetallemergencies，amongsttheseonetoabookseller，whotakeswithourfellow-countrymentheplacewhichGalignaniholdswiththeEnglishinParis。Thismanhasfoundeightpupilsformeatthreefrancsalesson。Igotomypupilseveryalternateday，sothatIhavefourlessonsadayandearntwelvefrancs，whichismorethanIrequire。WhenUrracacomesIshallmakesomeSpanishexilehappybypassingontohimmyconnection。

IlodgeintheRueHillerin-Bertinwithapoorwidow，whotakesboarders。Myroomfacessouthandlooksoutonalittlegarden。Itisperfectlyquiet；Ihavegreentreestolookupon，andspendthesumofonepiastreaday。Iamamazedattheamountofcalm，purepleasurewhichIenjoyinthislife，afterthefashionofDionysiusatCorinth。

Fromsunriseuntilteno’clockIsmokeandtakemychocolate，sittingatmywindowandcontemplatingtwoSpanishplants，abroomwhichrisesoutofaclumpofjessamine——goldonawhiteground，colorswhichmustsendathrillthroughanyscionoftheMoors。Atteno’clockIstartformylessons，whichlasttillfour，whenIreturnfordinner。

AfterwardsIreadandsmoketillIgotobed。

Icanputupforalongtimewithalifelikethis，compoundedofworkandmeditation，ofsolitudeandsociety。Behappy，therefore，Fernand；

myabdicationhasbroughtnoafterthoughts；IhavenoregretslikeCharlesV。，nolongingtotrythegameagainlikeNapoleon。FivedaysandnightshavepassedsinceIwrotemywill；tomymindtheymighthavebeenfivecenturies。Honor，titles，wealth，areformeasthoughtheyhadneverexisted。

Nowthattheconventionalbarrierofrespectwhichhedgedmeroundhasfallen，Icanopenmyhearttoyou，dearboy。Thoughcasedinthearmorofgravity，thisheartisfulloftendernessanddevotion，whichhavefoundnoobject，andwhichnowomanhasdivined，notevenshewho，fromhercradle，hasbeenmydestinedbride。Inthisliesthesecretofmypoliticalenthusiasm。Spainhastakentheplaceofamistressandreceivedthehomageofmyheart。AndnowSpain，too，isgone!Beggaredofall，Icangazeupontheruinofwhatoncewasmeandspeculateoverthemysteriesofmybeing。

Whydidlifeanimatethiscarcass，andwhenwillitdepart？Whyhasthatrace，pre-eminentinchivalry，breathedallitsprimitivevirtues——itstropicallove，itsfierypoetry——intothisitslastoffshoot，iftheseedwasnevertoburstitsruggedshell，ifnostemwastospringforth，noradiantflowerscatteraloftitsEasternperfumes？OfwhatcrimehaveIbeenguiltybeforemybirththatIcaninspirenolove？

DidfatefrommyveryinfancydecreethatIshouldbestranded，auselesshulk，onsomebarrenshore!Ifindinmysoultheimageofthedesertswheremyfathersranged，illuminedbyascorchingsunwhichshrivelsupalllife。Proudremnantofafallenrace，vainforce，loveruntowaste，anoldmanintheprimeofyouth，herebetterthanelsewhereshallIawaitthelastgraceofdeath。Alas!underthismurkyskynosparkwillkindletheseashesagaintoflame。ThusmylastwordsmaybethoseofChrist，/MyGod，Thouhastforsakenme!/

Cryofagonyandterror，tothecoreofwhichnomortalhasventuredyettopenetrate!