第2章

DearlyshouldIliketoknowwhowasthegiverofthisdaintyworkofart，whichwassuchafavoritewithher。HowoftenhaveIseentheoldlady，herfeetuponthebar，recliningintheeasy-chair，withherdresshalfraisedinfront，toyingwiththesnuff-box，whichlayupontheledgebetweenherboxofpastillesandhersilkmits。Whatacoquetteshewas!tothedayofherdeathshetookasmuchpainswithherappearanceasthoughthebeautifulportraithadbeenpaintedonlyyesterday，andshewerewaitingtoreceivethethrongofexquisitesfromtheCourt!Howthearmchairrecallstometheinimitablesweepofherskirtsasshesankbackinit!

Thesewomenofapastgenerationhavecarriedoffwiththemsecretswhichareverytypicaloftheirage。ThePrincesshadacertainturnofthehead，awayofdroppingherglanceandherremarks，achoiceofwords，whichIlookforinvain，eveninmymother。Therewassubtletyinitall，andtherewasgood-nature；thepointsweremadewithoutanyaffectation。Hertalkwasatoncelengthyandconcise；shetoldagoodstory，andcouldputhermeaninginthreewords。Aboveall，shewasextremelyfree-thinking，andthishasundoubtedlyhaditseffectonmywayoflookingatthings。

FromsevenyearsoldtillIwasten，Ineverleftherside；itpleasedhertoattractmeasmuchasitpleasedmetogo。Thispreferencewasthecauseofmorethanonepassageatarmsbetweenherandmymother，andnothingintensifiesfeelingliketheicybreathofpersecution。

Howcharmingwashergreeting，“Hereyouare，littlerogue!“whencuriosityhadtaughtmehowtoglidewithstealthysnake-likemovementstoherroom。ShefeltthatIlovedher，andthischildishaffectionwaswelcomeasarayofsunshineinthewinterofherlife。

Idon’tknowwhatwentoninherroomsatnight，butshehadmanyvisitors；andwhenIcameontiptoeinthemorningtoseeifshewereawake，Iwouldfindthedrawing-roomfurnituredisarranged，thecard-

tablessetout，andpatchesofsnuffscatteredabout。

Thisdrawing-roomisfurnishedinthesamestyleasthebedroom。Thechairsandtablesareoddlyshaped，withclawfeetandhollowmouldings。Richgarlandsofflowers，beautifullydesignedandcarved，windoverthemirrorsandhangdowninfestoons。Ontheconsolesarefinechinavases。Thegroundcolorsarescarletandwhite。Mygrandmotherwasahigh-spirited，strikingbrunette，asmightbeinferredfromherchoiceofcolors。Ihavefoundinthedrawing-roomawriting-tableIrememberwell；thefiguresonitusedtofascinateme；

itisplaitedingravensilver，andwasapresentfromoneoftheGenoeseLomellini。Eachsideofthetablerepresentstheoccupationsofadifferentseason；therearehundredsoffiguresineachpicture，andallinrelief。

Iremainedalonefortwohours，whileoldmemoriesrosebeforeme，oneafteranother，onthisspot，hallowedbythedeathofawomanmostremarkableevenamongthewittyandbeautifulCourtladiesofLouisXV。’sday。

YouknowhowabruptlyIwaspartedfromher，ataday’snotice，in1816。

“Goandbidgood-byetoyourgrandmother，“saidmymother。

ThePrincessreceivedmeasusual，withoutanydisplayoffeeling，andexpressednosurpriseatmydeparture。

“Youaregoingtotheconvent，dear，“shesaid，“andwillseeyourauntthere，whoisanexcellentwoman。Ishalltakecare，though，thattheydon’tmakeavictimofyou；youshallbeindependent，andabletomarrywhomyouplease。“

Sixmonthslatershedied。HerwillhadbeengivenintothekeepingofthePrincedeTalleyrand，themostdevotedofallheroldfriends。Hecontrived，whilepayingavisittoMlle。deChargeboeuf，tointimatetome，throughher，thatmygrandmotherforbademetotakethevows。I

hope，soonerorlater，tomeetthePrince，andthenIshalldoubtlesslearnmorefromhim。

Thus，sweetheart，ifIhavefoundnooneinfleshandbloodtomeetme，IhavecomfortedmyselfwiththeshadeofthedearPrincess，andhavepreparedmyselfforcarryingoutoneofourpledges，whichwas，asyouknow，tokeepeachotherinformedofthesmallestdetailsinourhomesandoccupations。Itmakessuchadifferencetoknowwhereandhowthelifeofoneweloveispassed。Sendmeafaithfulpictureoftheveriesttriflesaroundyou，omittingnothing，noteventhesunsetlightsamongthetalltrees。

October19th。

ItwasthreeintheafternoonwhenIarrived。Abouthalf-pastfive，Rosecameandtoldmethatmymotherhadreturned，soIwentdownstairstopaymyrespectstoher。

Mymotherlivesinasuiteonthegroundfloor，exactlycorrespondingtomine，andinthesameblock。Iamjustoverherhead，andthesamesecretstaircaseservesforboth。Myfather’sroomsareintheblockopposite，butarelargerbythewholeofthespaceoccupiedbythegrandstaircaseonoursideofthebuilding。Theseancestralmansionsaresospacious，thatmyfatherandmothercontinuetooccupytheground-floorrooms，inspiteofthesocialdutieswhichhaveoncemoredevolvedonthemwiththereturnoftheBourbons，andareevenabletoreceiveinthem。

Ifoundmymother，dressedfortheevening，inherdrawing-room，wherenothingischanged。Icameslowlydownthestairs，speculatingwitheverystephowIshouldbemetbythismotherwhohadshownherselfsolittleofamothertome，andfromwhom，duringeightyears，Ihadheardnothingbeyondthetwolettersofwhichyouknow。JudgingitunworthytosimulateanaffectionIcouldnotpossiblyfeel，Iputontheairofapiousimbecile，andenteredtheroomwithmanyinwardqualms，whichhoweversoondisappeared。Mymother’stackwasequaltotheoccasion。Shemadenopretenceofemotion；sheneitherheldmeatarm’s-lengthnorhuggedmetoherbosomlikeabeloveddaughter，butgreetedmeasthoughwehadpartedtheeveningbefore。Hermannerwasthatofthekindliestandmostsincerefriend，assheaddressedmelikeagrownperson，firstkissingmeontheforehead。

“Mydearlittleone，“shesaid，“ifyouweretodieattheconvent，itismuchbettertolivewithyourfamily。Youfrustrateyourfather’splansandmine；buttheageofblindobediencetoparentsispast。M。

deChaulieu’sintention，andinthisIamquiteatonewithhim，istolosenoopportunityofmakingyourlifepleasantandoflettingyouseetheworld。AtyourageIshouldhavethoughtasyoudo，thereforeIamnotvexedwithyou；itisimpossibleyoushouldunderstandwhatweexpectedfromyou。Youwillnotfindanyabsurdseverityinme；andifyouhaveeverthoughtmeheartless，youwillsoonfindoutyourmistake。Still，thoughIwishyoutofeelperfectlyfree，Ithinkthat，tobeginwith，youwoulddowelltofollowthecounselsofamother，whowishestobeasistertoyou。“

IwasquitecharmedbytheDuchess，whotalkedinagentlevoice，straighteningmyconventtippetasshespoke。Attheageofthirty-

eightsheisstillexquisitelybeautiful。Shehasdark-blueeyes，withsilkenlashes，asmoothforehead，andacomplexionsopinkandwhitethatyoumightthinkshepaints。Herbustandshouldersaremarvelous，andherwaistisasslenderasyours。Herhandismilk-whiteandextraordinarilybeautiful；thenailscatchthelightintheirperfectpolish，thethumbislikeivory，thelittlefingerstandsjustalittleapartfromtherest，andthefootmatchesthehand；itistheSpanishfootofMlle。deVandenesse。Ifsheislikethisatforty，atsixtyshewillstillbeabeautifulwoman。

Ireplied，sweetheart，likeagoodlittlegirl。Iwasasnicetoherasshetome，nay，nicer。Herbeautycompletelyvanquishedme；itseemedonlynaturalthatsuchawomanshouldbeabsorbedinherregalpart。ItoldherthisassimplyasthoughIhadbeentalkingtoyou。I

daresayitwasasurprisetohertohearwordsofaffectionfromherdaughter’smouth，andtheunfeignedhomageofmyadmirationevidentlytouchedherdeeply。Hermannerchangedandbecameevenmoreengaging；

shedroppedallformalityasshesaid：

“Iammuchpleasedwithyou，andIhopeweshallremaingoodfriends。“

Thewordsstruckmeascharminglynaive，butIdidnotletthisappear，forIsawatoncethattheprudentcoursewastoallowhertobelieveherselfmuchdeeperandclevererthanherdaughter。SoIonlystaredvacantlyandshewasdelighted。Ikissedherhandsrepeatedly，tellingherhowhappyitmademetobesotreatedandtofeelatmyeasewithher。Ievenconfidedtohermyprevioustremors。Shesmiled，putherarmroundmyneck，anddrawingmetowardsher，kissedmeontheforeheadmostaffectionately。

“Dearchild，“shesaid，“wehavepeoplecomingtodinnerto-day。

Perhapsyouwillagreewithmethatitisbetterforyounottomakeyourfirstappearanceinsocietytillyouhavebeeninthedressmaker’shands；so，afteryouhaveseenyourfatherandbrother，youcangoupstairsagain。“

Iassentedmostheartily。Mymother’sexquisitedresswasthefirstrevelationtomeoftheworldwhichourdreamshadpictured；butIdidnotfeeltheslightestdesiretorivalher。

Myfathernowentered，andtheDuchesspresentedmetohim。

Hebecameallatoncemostaffectionate，andplayedthefather’spartsowell，thatIcouldnotbutbelievehishearttobeinit。Takingmytwohandsinhis，andkissingthem，withmoreoftheloverthanthefatherinhismanner，hesaid：

“Sothisismyrebeldaughter!“

Andhedrewmetowardshim，withhisarmpassedtenderlyroundmywaist，whilehekissedmeonthecheeksandforehead。

“Thepleasurewithwhichweshallwatchyoursuccessinsocietywillatoneforthedisappointmentwefeltatyourchangeofvocation，“hesaid。Then，turningtomymother，“Doyouknowthatsheisgoingtoturnoutverypretty，andyouwillbeproudofhersomeday？——Hereisyourbrother，Rhetore——Alphonse，“hesaidtoafineyoungmanwhocamein，“hereisyourconvent-bredsister，whothreatenstosendhernun’sfrocktothedeuce。“

Mybrothercameupinaleisurelywayandtookmyhand，whichhepressed。

“Come，come，youmaykissher，“saidmyfather。

Andhekissedmeonbothcheeks。

“Iamdelightedtoseeyou，“hesaid，“andItakeyoursideagainstmyfather。“

Ithankedhim，butcouldnothelpthinkinghemighthavecometoBloiswhenhewasatOrleansvisitingourMarquisbrotherinhisquarters。

Fearingthearrivalofstrangers，Inowwithdrew。Itidiedupmyrooms，andlaidoutonthescarletvelvetofmylovelytableallthematerialsnecessaryforwritingtoyou，meditatingallthewhileonmynewsituation。

This，myfairsweetheart，isatrueandveraciousaccountofthereturnofagirlofeighteen，afteranabsenceofnineyears，tothebosomofoneofthenoblestfamiliesinthekingdom。IwastiredbythejourneyaswellasbyalltheemotionsIhadbeenthrough，soI

wenttobedinconventfashion，ateighto’clockaftersupper。TheyhavepreservedevenalittleSaxeservicewhichthedearPrincessusedwhenshehadafancyfortakinghermealsalone。

NextdayIfoundmyroomsdoneoutanddusted，andevenflowersputinthevases，byoldPhilippe。Ibegantofeelathome。Onlyitdidn’toccurtoanybodythataCarmeliteschoolgirlhasanearlyappetite，andRosehadnoendoftroubleingettingbreakfastforme。

“Mlle。goestobedatdinner-time，“shesaidtome，“andgetsupwhentheDukeisjustreturninghome。“

Ibegantowrite。Aboutoneo’clockmyfatherknockedatthedoorofthesmalldrawing-roomandaskedifhemightcomein。Iopenedthedoor；hecamein，andfoundmewritingtoyou。

“Mydear，“hebegan，“youwillhavetogetyourselfclothes，andtomaketheseroomscomfortable。Inthispurseyouwillfindtwelvethousandfrancs，whichistheyearlyincomeIpurposeallowingyouforyourexpenses。Youwillmakearrangementswithyourmotherastosomegovernesswhomyoumaylike，incaseMissGriffithdoesn’tpleaseyou，forMme。deChaulieuwillnothavetimetogooutwithyouinthemornings。Acarriageandman-servantshallbeatyourdisposal。“

“LetmekeepPhilippe，“Isaid。