第32章

"YoushouldjusthaveseenthatTartuffe！"continuedMinard。"Hehadnosoonergoneoutthanhereturned，bringingthenews。Aseverybodywaslongingtogetaway，therefollowedageneralhelter—skelter。Andthenwhatdoesourmando？HegoesbacktoMadameLambert，whowascryingthatshewasruined！shewaslost！——whichmightverywellbetrue，butitmightalsobeonlyascenearrangedbetweentheminpresenceofthecompany，whomthewoman’soutcriesdetainedintheantechamber。’Don’tbeanxious，mygoodwoman，’saidlaPeyrade；’theinvestmentwasmadeatyourrequest，consequently，Ioweyounothing；

BUTitisenoughthatthemoneypassedthroughmyhandstomakemyconsciencetellmeIamresponsible。Ifthenotary’sassetsarenotenoughtopayyouIwilldoso。’"

"Yes，"saidPhellion，"thatwasmyideaasyoutoldit；theintermediaryisoroughttoberesponsible。IshouldnothavehesitatedtodoasMonsieurdelaPeyradedid，andIdonotthinkthataftersuchconductasthatheoughttobetaxedwithJesuitism。"

"Yes，youwouldhavedoneso，"saidMinard，"andsoshouldI，butweshouldn’thavedoneitwithabrassband；weshouldhavepaidourmoneyquietly，likegentlemen。Butthiselectoralmanager，howishegoingtopayit？Outofthe’dot’？"

AtthismomentthelittlepageenteredtheroomandgavealettertoFelixPhellion。ItcamefromperePicot，andwaswrittenathisdictationbyMadameLambert，forwhichreasonwewillnotreproducetheorthography。ThewritingofMadameLambertwasofthosethatcanneverbeforgottenwhenonceseen。Recognizingitinstantly，Felixhastenedtosay：——

"Aletterfromtheprofessor"；then，beforebreakingtheseal，headded，"Willyoupermitme，Monsieurlemaire。"

"He’llrateyoufinely，"saidMinard，laughing。"Ineversawanythingsocomicalashiswrathlastnight。"

Felix，ashereadtheletter，smiledtohimself。Whenhehadfinishedit，hepassedittohisfather，saying：——

"Readitaloudifyoulike。"

Whereupon，withhissolemnvoiceandmanner，Phellionreadasfollows：——

MydearFelix，——Ihavejustreceivedyournote；itcameinthenickoftime，forIwas，astheysay，inafurywithyou。Youtellmethatyouwereguiltyofthatabuseofconfidence（aboutwhichI

intendedtowriteyouapieceofmymind）inordertogiveaknock—downblowtomyrelationsbyprovingthatamancapableofmakingsuchcomplicatedcalculationsasyourdiscoveryrequiredwasnotamantoputinalunaticasylumordragbeforeajudiciarycouncil。Thatargumentpleasesme，anditmakessuchagoodanswertotheinfamousproceedingsofmyrelationsthatI

praiseyouforhavinghadtheidea。Butyousoldittome，thatargument，prettydearwhenyouputmeincompanywithastar，foryouknowverywellTHATpropinquitywouldn’tpleasemeatall。Itisnotatmyage，andaftersolvingthegreatproblemofperpetualmotion，thatamancouldtakeupwithsuchrubbishasthat，——goodonlyforboysandgreenhornslikeyou；andthatiswhatIhavetakenthelibertythismorningtogoandtelltheministerofpublicinstruction，bywhomImustsayIwasreceivedwiththemostperfecturbanity。Iaskedhimtoseewhether，ashehadmadeamistakeandsentthemtothewrongaddress，hecouldnottakebackhiscrossandhispension，——thoughtobesure，asItoldhim，Ideservedthemforotherthings。

"Thegovernment，"hereplied，"isnotinthehabitofmakingmistakes；whatitdoesisalwaysproperlydone，anditneverannulsanordinancesignedbythehandofhisMajesty。YourgreatlaborshavedeservedthetwofavorstheKinghasgrantedyou；itisalong—standingdebt，whichIamhappytopayoffinhisname。"

"ButFelix？"Isaid；"becauseafterallforayoungmanitisnotsuchabaddiscovery。"

"MonsieurFelixPhellion，"repliedtheminister，"willreceiveinthecourseofthedayhisappointmenttotherankofChevalieroftheLegionofhonor；Iwillhaveitsignedthismorningbytheking。Moreover，thereisavacantplaceattheAcademyofSciences，andifyouarenotacandidateforit——"

"I，intheAcademy！"Iinterrupted，withthefranknessofspeechyouknowIalwaysuse；"Iexecrateacademies；theyarestiflers，extinguishers，assemblagesofsloths，idlers，shopswithbigsignsandnothingtosellinside——"

"Well，then，"saidtheminister，smiling，"IthinkthatatthenextelectionMonsieurFelixPhellionwillhaveeverychance，andamongthosechancesIcounttheinfluenceofthegovernmentwhichissecuredtohim。"

There，mypoorboy，isallthatIhavebeenabletodotorewardyourgoodintentionsandtoprovetoyouthatIamnolongerangry。Ithinktherelationsaregoingtopullalongface。Comeandtalkaboutitto—dayatfouro’clock，——forIdon’tdineafterbedtime，asIsawsomepeopledoinglastnightinahousewhereI

hadoccasiontomentionyourtalentsinamannerthatwasveryadvantageoustoyou。MadameLambert，whodoesbetterwithasaucepanthanwithpenandink，shalldistinguishherself，thoughitisFriday，andsheneverletsmeoffafastday。Butshehaspromisedusafishdinnerworthyofanarchbishop，withafinehalf—bottleofchampagne（doubledifneedbe）towashitdown。

Youroldprofessorandfriend，Picot（Nepomucene），ChevalieroftheLegionofhonor。

P。S。——Doyouthinkyoucouldobtainfromyourrespectablemotheralittleflaskofthatoldandexcellentcognacyouoncegaveme？

Notadropremains，andyesterdayIwasforcedtodrinksomestuffonlyfittobathehorses’feet，asIdidnothesitatetosaytothebeautifulHebewhoservedittome。

"Ofcourseheshallhavesome，"saidMadamePhellion；"notaflask，butagallon。"

"AndI，"saidMinard，"whopiquemyselfonmine，whichdidn’tcomefromBrigitte’sgrocereither，I’llsendhimseveralbottles；butdon’ttellhimwhosentthem，Monsieurlechevalier，foryounevercantellhowthatsingularbeingwilltakethings。"

"Wife，"saidPhellion，suddenly，"getmemyblackcoatandawhitecravat。"

"Whereareyougoing？"askedMadamePhellion。"Totheminister，tothankhim？"

"Bringme，Isay，thosearticlesofhabiliment。Ihaveanimportantvisittomake；andMonsieurlemairewill，Iknow，excuseme。"

"Imyselfmustbeoff，"saidMinard。"I，too，haveimportantbusiness，thoughitisn’taboutastar。"

QuestionedinvainbyFelixandhiswife，Phellioncompletedhisattirewithapairofwhitegloves，sentforacarriage，and，attheendofhalfanhour，enteredthepresenceofBrigitte，whomhefoundpresidingoverthecarefulputtingawayofthechina，glass，andsilverwhichhadperformedtheirseveralfunctionsthenightbefore。

Leavingthesehousekeepingdetails，shereceivedhervisitor。

"Well，papaPhellion，"shesaid，whentheywerebothseatedinthesalon，"youbrokeyourwordyesterday；youwereluckierthantherest。

Doyouknowwhatatrickthatnotaryplayedus？"

"Iknowall，"saidPhellion；"anditisthecheckthusunexpectedlygiventotheexecutionofyourplansthatIshalltakeforthetextofanimportantconversationwhichIdesiretohavewithyou。SometimesProvidencewouldseemtotakepleasureincounteractingourbest—laidschemes；sometimes，also，bymeansoftheobstaclesitraisesinourpath，itseemstointendtoindicatethatwearebearingtoofartotherightortotheleft，andshouldpausetoreflectuponourway。"

"Providence！"saidBrigittethestrong—minded，——"Providencehassomethingelsetodothantolookafterus。"

"Thatisoneopinion，"saidPhellion；"butImyselfamaccustomedtoseeitsdecreesinthelittleaswellasthegreatthingsoflife；andcertainly，ifithadallowedthefulfilmentofyourengagementswithMonsieurdelaPeyradetobeevenpartiallybegunyesterday，youwouldnothaveseenmehereto—day。"

"Then，"saidBrigitte，"doyouthinkthatbydefaultofanotarythemarriagewillnottakeplace？Theydosaythatforwantofamonktheabbeywon’tcometoastandstill。"

"Dearlady，"saidthegreatcitizen，"youwilldomethejusticetofeelthatneitherI，normywife，haveeverattemptedtoinfluenceyourdecision；wehaveallowedouryoungpeopletoloveeachotherwithoutmuchconsiderationastowherethatattachmentwould

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