第14章

Ansellyawned。

"IsawRickietoo。OnceIdinedthere。"

Anotheryawn。

"MycousinthinksMrs。Elliotoneofthemosthorriblewomenhehaseverseen。Hecallsher’MedusainArcady。’She’ssopleasant，too。Butcertainlyitwasaverystonymeal。"

"Whatkindofstoniness"

"Noonestoppedtalkingforamoment。"

"That’stherealkind，"saidAnsellmoodily。"Theonlykind。"

"Well，I，"hecontinued，"aminclinedtocomparehertoanelectriclight。Click！she’son。Click！she’soff。Nowaste。Noflicker。"

"Iwishshe’dfuse。"

"She’llneverfuse——unlessanythingwastohappenatthemain。"

"Whatdoyoumeanbythemain？"saidAnsell，whoalwayspursuedametaphorrelentlessly。

Widdringtondidnotknowwhathemeant，andsuggestedthatAnsellshouldvisitSawstontoseewhetheronecouldknow。

"Itisnogoodmegoing。IshouldnotfindMrs。Elliot:shehasnorealexistence。"

"Rickiehas。"

"Iverymuchdoubtit。IhadtwolettersfromIlfracombelastApril，andIverymuchdoubtthatthemanwhowrotethemcanexist。"Bendingdownwardshebegantoadornthemanuscriptofhisdissertationwithasquare，andinsidethatacircle，andinsidethatanothersquare。Itwashisseconddissertation:thefirsthadfailed。

"Ithinkheexists:heissounhappy。"

Ansellnodded。"Howdidyouknowhewasunhappy？"

"Becausehewasalwaystalking。"Afterapauseheadded，"Whatcleveryoungmenweare！"

"Aren’twe？Iexpectweshallgetaskedinmarriagesoon。Isay，Widdrington，shallwe——？"

"Accept？Ofcourse。Itisnotyoungmanlytosayno。"

"Imeantshallweeverdoamoretremendousthing，——fuseMrs。

Elliot。"

"No，"saidWiddringtonpromptly。"Weshallneverdothatinallourlives。"Headded，"IthinkyoumightgodowntoSawston，though。"

"Ihavealreadyrefusedorignoredthreeinvitations。"

"SoIgathered。"

"What’sthegoodofit？"saidAnsellthroughhisteeth。"1willnotputupwithlittlethings。IwouldratherberudethantolistentotwaddlefromamanI’veknown。

"YoumightgodowntoSawston，justforanight，toseehim。"

"Isawhimlastmonth——atleast，soTilliardinformsme。Hesaysthatweallthreelunchedtogether，thatRickiepaid，andthattheconversationwasmostinteresting。"

"Well，Icontendthathedoesexist，andthatifyougo——oh，I

can’tbecleveranylonger。Youreallymustgo，man。I’mcertainhe’smiserableandlonely。DunwoodHousereeksofcommerceandsnobberyandallthethingshehatedmost。Hedoesn’tdoanything。Hedoesn’tmakeanyfriends。Heissoodd，too。Inthisday—boyrowthathasjuststartedhe’sgoneformycousin。Wouldyoubelieveit？Quitespitefully。ItmadequiteadifficultywhenIwantedtodine。Itisn’tlikehimeitherthesentimentsorthebehaviour。I’msurehe’snothimself。Pembrokeusedtolookaftertheday—boys，andsohecan’tverywelltaketheleadagainstthem，andperhapsRickie’sdoinghisdirtywork——andhasoverdoneit，asdecentpeoplegenerallydo。He’sevenalteringtotalkto。

Yethe’snotbeenmarriedayear。Pembrokeandthatwifesimplyrunhim。Idon’tseewhytheyshould，andnomoredoyou;andthat’swhyIwantyoutogotoSawston，ifonlyforonenight。"

Ansellshookhishead，andlookedupatthedomeasothermenlookatthesky。Initthegreatarclampssputteredandflared，forthemonthwasagainNovember。Thenheloweredhiseyesfromthecoldvioletradiancetothebooks。

"No，Widdrington;no。Wedon’tgotoseepeoplebecausetheyarehappyorunhappy。Wegowhenwecantalktothem。IcannottalktoRickie，thereforeIwillnotwastemytimeatSawston。"

"Ithinkyou’reright，"saidWiddringtonsoftly。"Butwearebloodlessbrutes。Iwonderwhether—Ifweweredifferentpeople——somethingmightbedonetosavehim。Thatisthecurseofbeingalittleintellectual。Youandoursorthavealwaysseentooclearly。Westandaside——andmeanwhileheturnsintostone。

TwophilosophicyouthsrepiningintheBritishMuseum！Whathavewedone？Whatshallweeverdo？Justdriftandcriticize，whilepeoplewhoknowwhattheywantsnatchitawayfromusandlaugh。"

"Perhapsyouarethatsort。I’mnot。WhenthemomentcomesI

shallhitoutlikeanyploughboy。Don’tbelievethoseliesaboutintellectualpeople。They’reonlywrittentosoothethemajority。

Doyousuppose，withtheworldasitis，thatit’saneasymattertokeepquiet？DoyousupposethatIdidn’twanttorescuehimfromthatghastlywoman？Action！Nothing’seasierthanaction;asfoolstestify。ButIwanttoactrightly。"

"Thesuperintendentislookingatus。Imustgetbacktomywork。"

"Youthinkthisallnonsense，"saidAnsell，detaininghim。

"PleaserememberthatifIdoact，youareboundtohelpme。"

Widdringtonlookedalittlegrave。Hewasnoanarchist。AfewplaintivecriesagainstMrs。Elliotwereallthathepreparedtoemit。

"There’snomystery，"continuedAnsell。"Ihaven’ttheshadowofaplaninmyhead。IknownotonlyRickiebutthewholeofhishistory:yourememberthedaynearMadingley。Nothingineitherhelpsme:I’mjustwatching。"

"Butwhatfor？"

"FortheSpiritofLife。"

Widdringtonwassurprised。Itwasaphraseunknowntotheirphilosophy。Theyhadtrespassedintopoetry。

"Youcan’tfightMedusawithanythingelse。IfyouaskmewhattheSpiritofLifeis，ortowhatitisattached，Ican’ttellyou。Ionlytellyou，watchforit。MyselfI’vefounditinbooks。Somepeoplefinditoutofdoorsorineachother。Nevermind。It’sthesamespirit，andItrustmyselftoknowitanywhere，andtouseitrightly。"

Butatthispointthesuperintendentsentamessage。

Widdringtonthensuggestedastrollinthegalleries。Itwasfoggy:theyneededfreshair。Helovedandadmiredhisfriend，buttodayhecouldnotgrasphim。TheworldasAnsellsawitseemedsuchafantasticplace，governedbybrand—newlaws。WhatmorecouldonedothantoseeRickieasoftenaspossible，toinvitehisconfidence，toofferhimspiritualsupport？AndMrs。

Elliot——whatpowercould"fuse"arespectablewoman？

Ansellconsentedtothestroll，but，asusual，onlybreatheddepression。Thecomfortofbooksdesertedhimamongthosemarblegoddessesandgods。Theeyeofanartistfindspleasureintextureandpoise，buthecouldonlythinkofthevanishedincenseanddesertedtemplesbesideanunfurrowedsea。

"Letusgo，"hesaid。"Idonotlikecarvedstones。"

"Youaretooparticular，"saidWiddrington。"Youarealwaysexpectingtomeetlivingpeople。Oneneverdoes。IamcontentwiththeParthenonfrieze。"Andhemovedalongafewyardsofit，whileAnsellfollowed，consciousonlyofitspathos。

"There’sTilliard，"heobserved。"Shallwekillhim？"

"Please，"saidWiddrington，andashespokeTilliardjoinedthem。

Hebroughtthemnews。ThatmorninghehadheardfromRickie:Mrs。

Elliotwasexpectingachild。

"Achild？"saidAnsell，suddenlybewildered。

"Oh，Iforgot，"interposedWiddrington。"Mycousindidtellme。"

"Youforgot！Well，afterall，Iforgotthatitmightbe，Weareindeedyoungmen。"HeleantagainstthepedestalofIlissusandrememberedtheirtalkabouttheSpiritofLife。Inhisignoranceofwhatachildmeanshewonderedwhethertheopportunityhesoughtlayhere。

"Iamveryglad，"saidTilliard，notwithoutintention。"Achildwilldrawthemevenclosertogether。Iliketoseeyoungpeoplewrappedupintheirchild。"

"IsupposeImustbegettingbacktomydissertation，"saidAnsell。HelefttheParthenontopassbythemonumentsofourmorereticentbeliefs——thetempleoftheEphesianArtemis，thestatueoftheCnidianDemeter。Honest，heknewthatherewerepowershecouldnotcopewith，nor，asyet，understand。

XXI

ThemiststhathadgatheredroundRickieseemedtobebreaking。

Hehadfoundlightneitherinworkforwhichhewasunfittednorinawomanwhohadceasedtorespecthim，andwhomhewasceasingtolove。Thoughhecalledhimselffickleandtookalltheblameoftheirmarriageonhisownshoulders，thereremainedinAgnescertainterriblefaultsofheartandhead，andnoself—reproachwoulddiminishthem。Theglamourofwedlockhadfaded;indeed，hesawnowthatithadfadedevenbeforewedlock，andthatduringthefinalmonthshehadshuthiseyesandpretendeditwasstillthere。Butnowthemistswerebreaking。

ThatNovemberthesupremeeventapproached。HesawitwithNature’seyes。Itdawnedonhim，asonAnsell，thatpersonalloveandmarriageonlycoveronesideoftheshield，andthatontheotherisgraventheepicofbirth。Inthemidstoflessonshewouldgrowdreamy，asonewhospiesanewsymbolfortheuniverse，afreshcirclewithinthesquare。Withinthesquareshallbeacircle，withinthecircleanothersquare，untilthevisualeyeisbaffled。Hereismeaningofakind。Hismotherhadforgottenherselfinhim。Hewouldforgethimselfinhisson。

Hewasathisdutieswhenthenewsarrived——takingpreparation。

Boysaremarvellouscreatures。Perhapstheywillsinkbelowthebrutes;perhapstheywillattaintoawoman’stenderness。ThoughtheydespisedRickie，andhadsufferedunderAgnes’smeanness，theironethoughtthistermwastobegentleandtogivenotrouble。

"Rickie——onemoment——"

Hisfacegrewashen。HefollowedHerbertintothepassage，closingthedoorofthepreparationroombehindhim。"Oh，isshesafe？"hewhispered。

"Yes，yes，"saidHerbert;buttheresoundedinhisanswerasombrehostilenote。

"Ourboy？"

"Girl——agirl，dearRickie;alittledaughter。She——sheisinmanywaysahealthychild。Shewilllive——ohyes。"Aflashofhorrorpassedoverhisface。Hehurriedintothepreparationroom，liftedthelidofhisdesk，glancedmechanicallyattheboys，andcameoutagain。

Mrs。Lewinappearedthroughthedoorthatledintotheirownpartofthehouse。

"Bothgoingonwell！"shecried;buthervoicealsowasgrave，exasperated。

"Whatisit？"hegasped。"It’ssomethingyoudaren’ttellme。"

"Onlythis——stutteredHerbert。"Youmustn’tmindwhenyousee——

she’slame。"

Mrs。Lewindisappeared。"Lame！butnotaslameasIam？"

"Oh，mydearboy，worse。Don’t——oh，beamaninthis。Comeawayfromthepreparationroom。Remembershe’lllive——inmanywayshealthy——onlyjustthisonedefect。"

Thehorrorofthatweekneverpassedawayfromhim。Totheendofhislifeherememberedtheexcuses——theconsolationsthatthechildwouldlive;sufferedverylittle，ifatall;wouldwalkwithcrutches;wouldcertainlylive。Godwasmoremerciful。A

windowwasopenedtoowideonadraughtyday——afterashort，painlessillnesshisdaughterdied。ButthelessonhehadlearntsogliblyatCambridgeshouldbeheedednow;nochildshouldeverbeborntohimagain。

XXII

ThatsametermtheretookplaceatDunwoodHouseanotherevent。

Withtheirprivatetragedyitseemedtohavenoconnection;butintimeRickieperceiveditasabittercomment。Itsdevelopmentswereunforeseenandlasting。Itwasperhapsthemostterriblethinghehadtobear。

Vardenhadnowbeenaboarderfortenmonths。Hishealthhadbrokeninthepreviousterm，——partly，itistobefeared，astheresultoftheindifferentfood——andduringthesummerholidayshewasattackedbyaseriesofagonizingearaches。Hismother，afeebleperson，wishedtokeephimathome，butHerbertdissuadedher。SoonafterthedeathofthechildtherearoseatDunwoodHouseoneofthosewavesofhostilityofwhichnoboyknowstheoriginnoranymastercancalculatethecourse。Vardenhadneverbeenpopular——therewasnoreasonwhyheshouldbe——buthehadneverbeenseriouslybulliedhitherto。Oneeveningnearlythewholehousesetonhim。Theprefectsabsentedthemselves，thebiggerboysstoodroundandthelesserboys，towhompowerwasdelegated，flunghimdown，andrubbedhisfaceunderthedesks，andwrenchedathisears。Thenoisepenetratedthebaizedoors，andHerbertsweptthroughandpunishedthewholehouse，includingVarden，whomitwouldnotdotoleaveout。Thepoormanwashorrified。Heapprovedofalittlehealthyroughness，butthiswaspurebrutalization。Whathadcomeoverhisboys？Weretheynotgentlemen’ssons？Hewouldnotadmitthatifyouherdto—

getherhumanbeingsbeforetheycanunderstandeachotherthegreatgodPanisangry，andwillintheendevadeyourregulationsanddrivethemmad。Thatnightthevictimwasscreamingwithpain，andthedoctornextdayspokeofanoperation。Thesuspenselastedawholeweek。Commentwasmadeinthelocalpapers，andthereputationnotonlyofthehousebutoftheschoolwasimperilled。"IfonlyIhadknown，"repeatedHerbert——"ifonlyIhadknownIwouldhavearrangeditalldifferently。Heshouldhavehadacubicle。"Theboydidnotdie，butheleftSawston，nevertoreturn。

ThedaybeforehisdepartureRickiesatwithhimsometime，andtriedtotalkinawaythatwasnotpedantic。Inhisownsorrow，whichhecouldsharewithnoone，leastofallwithhiswife，hewasstillalivetothesorrowsofothers。Hestillfoughtagainstapathy，thoughhewaslosingthebattle。

"Don’tloseheart，"hetoldhim。"Theworldisn’tallgoingtobelikethis。Therearetemptationsandtrials，ofcourse，butnothingatallofthekindyouhavehadhere。"

"Butschoolistheworldinminiature，isitnot，sir？"askedtheboy，hopingtopleaseonemasterbyechoingwhathadbeentoldhimbyanother。Hewasalwaysonthelookoutforsympathy——:itwasoneofthethingsthathadcontributedtohisdownfall。

"Inevernoticedthatmyself。Iwasunhappyatschool，andintheworldpeoplecanbeveryhappy。"

Vardensighedandrolledabouthiseyes。"Arethefellowssorryforwhattheydidtome？"heaskedinanaffectedvoice。"IamsureIforgivethemfromthebottomofmyheart。Weoughttoforgiveourenemies，oughtn’twe，sir？"

"Buttheyaren’tyourenemies。Ifyoumeetinfiveyears’timeyoumayfindeachothersplendidfellows。"

Theboywouldnotadmitthis。Hehadbeenreadingsomerevivalisticliterature。"Weoughttoforgiveourenemies，"herepeated;"andhoweverwickedtheyare，weoughtnottowishthemevil。WhenIwasill，anddeathseemednearest，Ihadmanykindlettersonthissubject。"

Rickieknewaboutthese"manykindletters。"Vardenhadinducedthesillynursetowritetopeople——peopleofallsorts，peoplethathescarcelyknewordidnotknowatall——detailinghismisfortune，andaskingforspiritualaidandsympathy。

"Iamsorryforthem，"hepursued。"Iwouldnotliketobelikethem。"

Rickiesighed。HesawthatayearatDunwoodHousehadproducedasanctimoniousprig。"Don’tthinkaboutthem，Varden。Thinkaboutanythingbeautiful——say，music。Youlikemusic。Behappy。It’syourduty。Youcan’tbegooduntilyou’vehadalittlehappiness。

Thenperhapsyouwillthinklessaboutforgivingpeopleandmoreaboutlovingthem。"

"Ilovethemalready，sir。"AndRickie，indesperation，askedifhemightlookatthemanykindletters。

Permissionwasgladlygiven。Aneatbundlewasproduced，andforabouttwentyminutesthemasterperusedit，whiletheinvalidkeptwatchonhisface。Rookscawedoutintheplaying—fields，andcloseundertilewindowtherewasthesoundofdelightful，good—temperedlaughter。Aboyisnodevil，whateverboysmaybe。

Theletterswerechillyproductions，somewhatclericalintone，bywhomsoeverwritten。Varden，becausehewasillatthetime，hadbeentakenseriously。Thewritersdeclaredthathisillnesswasfulfillingsomemysteriouspurpose:sufferingengenderedspiritualgrowth:hewasshowingsignsofthisalready。Theyconsentedtoprayforhim，somemajestically，othersshyly。Buttheyallconsentedwithoneexception，whowordedhisrefusalasfollows:——

DearA。C。Varden，——

IoughttosaythatIneverrememberseeingyou。Iamsorrythatyouareill，andhopeyouarewrongaboutit。Whydidyounotwritebefore，forIcouldhavehelpedyouthen？Whentheypulledyourear，yououghttohavegonelikethis（herewasaroughsketch）。Icouldnotundertakepraying，butwouldthinkofyouinstead，ifthatwoulddo。Iamtwenty—twoinApril，builtratherheavy，ordinarybroadface，witheyes，etc。Iwriteallthisbecauseyouhavemixedmewithsomeoneelse，forIamnotmarried，anddonotwanttobe。Icannotthinkofyoualways，butwillpromiseaquarterofanhourdaily（say7。00—7。15A。M。），andmightcometoseeyouwhenyouarebetter——thatis，ifyouareakid，andyoureadlikeone。Ihavebeenotter—hunting——

Yourssincerely，StephenWonhamXXIII

RiekiewentstraightfromVardentohiswife，wholayonthesofainherbedroom。Therewasnowawidegulfbetweenthem。She，liketheworldshehadcreatedforhim，wasunreal。

"Agnes，darling，"hebegan，strokingherhand，"suchanawkwardlittlethinghashappened。"

"Whatisit，dear？JustwaittillI’veaddedupthishook。"

Shehadgotoverthetragedy:shegotovereverything。

Whenshewasatleisurehetoldher。HithertotheyhadseldommentionedStephen。Hewasclassedamongtheunprofitabledead。

Shewasmoresympatheticthanheexpected。"DearRickie，"shemurmuredwithavertedeyes。"Howtiresomeforyou。"

"IwishthatVardenhadstoppedwithMrs。Orr。"

"Well，heleavesusforgoodtomorrow。"

"Yes，yes。AndImadehimanswertheletterandapologize。Theyhadnevermet。ItwassomeconfusionwithamanintheChurchArmy，livingataplacecalledCodford。Iaskedthenurse。Itisallexplained。"

"Therethematterends。"

"Isupposeso——ifmatterseverend。"

"If，byill—luck，thepersondoescall。Iwilljustseehimandsaythattheboyhasgone。"

"You，orI。Ihavegotoverallnonsensebythistime。He’sabsolutelynothingtomenow。"Hetookupthetradesman’sbookandplayedwithitidly。Onitscrimsoncoverwasstampedagrotesquesheep。Howstaleandstupidtheirlifehadbecome！

"Don’ttalklikethat，though，"shesaiduneasily。"Thinkhowdisastrousitwouldbeifyoumadeaslipinspeakingtohim。"

"Wouldit？Itwouldhavebeendisastrousonce。ButIexpect，asamatteroffact，thatAuntEmilyhasmadetheslipalready。"

Hiswifewasdispleased。"Youneednottalkinthatcynicalway。

IcreditAuntEmilywithbetterfeeling。WhenIwasthereshedidmentionthematter，butonlyonce。She，andI，andallwhohaveanysenseofdecency，knowbetterthantomakeslips，ortothinkofmakingthem。"

Agneskeptupwhatshecalled"thefamilyconnection。"ShehadbeenoncealonetoCadover，andalsocorrespondedwithMrs。

Failing。ShehadnevertoldRickieanythingabouthervisitnorhadheeveraskedher。But，fromthismoment，thewholesubjectwasreopened。

"Mostcertainlyheknowsnothing，"shecontinued。"Why，hedoesnotevenrealizethatVardenlivesinourhouse！Weareperfectlysafe——unlessAuntEmilyweretodie。Perhapsthen——butweareperfectlysafeforthepresent。"

"Whenshedidmentionthematter，whatdidshesay？"

"Wehadalongtalk，"saidAgnesquietly。"Shetoldmenothingnew——nothingnewaboutthepast，Imean。Butwehadalongtalkaboutthepresent。Ithink"andhervoicegrewdispleasedagain——

"thatyouhavebeenbothwrongandfoolishinrefusingtomakeupyourquarrelwithAuntEmily。"

"Wrongandwise，Ishouldsay。"

"Itisn’ttobeexpectedthatshe——somucholderandsosensitive——canmakethefirststep。ButIknowshe’dhegladtoseeyou。"

"AsfarasIcanrememberthatfinalsceneinthegarden，I

accusedherof’forgettingwhatotherpeoplewerelike。’She’llneverpardonmeforsayingthat。"

Agneswassilent。Toherthephrasewasmeaningless。YetRickiewascorrect:Mrs。Failinghadresenteditmorethananything。

"Atallevents，"shesuggested，"youmightgoandseeher。"

"No，dear。Thankyou，no。"

"Sheis，afterall——"Shewasgoingtosay"yourfather’ssister，"buttheexpressionwasscarcelyahappyone，andsheturneditinto，"Sheis，afterall，growingoldandlonely。"

"Soareweall！"hecried，withalapseoftonethatwasnowcharacteristicinhim。

"Sheoughtn’ttobesoisolatedfromherproperrelatives。

Therewasamoment’ssilence。Stillplayingwiththebook，heremarked，"Youforget，she’sgotherfavouritenephew。"

Abrightredflushspreadoverhercheeks。"Whatisthematterwithyouthisafternoon？"sheasked。"Ishouldthinkyou’dbettergoforawalk。"

"BeforeIgo，tellmewhatisthematterwithyou。"Healsoflushed。"Whydoyouwantmetomakeitupwithmyaunt？"

"Becauseit’srightandproper。"

"So？Orbecausesheisold？"

"Idon’tunderstand，"sheretorted。Buthereyesdropped。Hissuddensuspicionwastrue:shewaslegacyhunting。

"Agnes，dearAgnes，"hebeganwithpassingtenderness，"howcanyouthinkofsuchthings？Youbehavelikeapoorperson。Wedon’twantanymoneyfromAuntEmily，orfromanyoneelse。Itisn’tvirtuethatmakesmesayit:wearenottemptedinthatway:wehaveasmuchaswewantalready。"

"Forthepresent，"sheanswered，stilllookingaside。

"Thereisn’tanyfuture，"hecriedinagustofdespair。

"Rickie，whatdoyoumean？"

Whatdidhemean？Hemeantthattherelationsbetweenthemwerefixed——thattherewouldneverbeaninfluxofinterest，norevenofpassion。Totheendoflifetheywouldgoonbeatingtime，andthiswasenoughforher。Shewascontentwiththedailyround，thecommontask，performedindifferently。Buthehaddreamtofanotherhelpmate，andofotherthings。

"Wedon’twantmoney——why，wedon’tevenspendanyontravelling。

I’veinvestedallmysalaryandmore。Asfarashumanforesightgoes，weshallneverwantmoney。"Andhisthoughtswentouttothetinygrave。"Youspokeof’rightandproper，’buttherightandproperthingformyaunttodoistoleaveeverypennyshe’sgottoStephen。"

Herlipquivered，andforonemomenthethoughtthatshewasgoingtocry。"WhatamItodowithyou？"shesaid。"Youtalklikeapersoninpoetry。"

"I’llputitinprose。He’slivedwithherfortwentyyears，andheoughttobepaidforit。"

PoorAgnes！Indeed，whatwasshetodo？ThefirstmomentshesetfootinCadovershehadthought，"Oh，hereismoney。Wemusttryandgetit。"Beingalady，shenevermentionedthethoughttoherhusband，butsheconcludedthatitwouldoccurtohimtoo。Andnow，thoughithadoccurredtohimatlast，hewouldnotevenwritehisauntalittlenote。

Hewastotryheryetfurther。Whiletheyarguedthispointheflashedoutwith，"Ioughttohavetoldhimthatdaywhenhecalleduptoourroom。There’swhereIwentwrongfirst。"

"Rickie！"

"InthosedaysIwassentimental。Iminded。FortwopinsI’dwritetohimthisafternoon。Whyshouldn’theknowhe’smybrother？What’sallthisridiculousmystery？"

Shebecameincoherent。

"ButWHYnot？Areasonwhyheshouldn’tknow。"

"AreasonwhyheSHOULDknow，"sheretorted。"Ineverheardsuchrubbish！Givemeareasonwhyheshouldknow。"

"Becausethelieweactedhasruinedourlives。"

Shelookedinbewildermentatthewell—appointedroom。

"It’sbeenlikeapoisonwewon’tacknowledge。Howmanytimeshaveyouthoughtofmybrother？I’vethoughtofhimeveryday——

notinlove;don’tmisunderstand;onlyasamedicineIshirked。

Downinwhattheycallthesubconsciousselfhehasbeenhurtingme。"Hisvoicebroke。"Oh，mydarling，weactedaliethen，andthisletterremindsusofitandgivesusonemorechance。Ihavetosay’we’lied。IshouldbelyingagainifItookquitealltheblame。LetusaskGod’sforgivenesstogether。Thenletuswrite，ascoldlyasyouplease，toStephen，andtellhimheismyfather’sson。"

Herreplyneednotbequoted。Itwasthelasttimeheattemptedintimacy。Andtheremainderoftheirconversation，thoughlongandstormy，isalsobestforgotten。

ThusthefirsteffectofVarden’sletterwastomakethemquarrel。Theyhadnotopenlydisagreedbefore。Intheeveninghekissedherandsaid，"HowabsurdIwastogetangryaboutthingsthathappenedlastyear。Iwillcertainlynotwritetotheperson。"Shereturnedthekiss。Butheknewthattheyhaddestroyedthehabitofreverence，andwouldquarrelagain。

OnhisroundshelookedinatVardenandaskednonchalantlyfortheletter。Hecarrieditofftohisroom。Itwasunwiseofhim，forhisnerveswerealreadyunstrung，andthemanhehadtriedtoburywasstirringominously。Inthesilenceheexaminedthehandwritingtillhefeltthatalivingcreaturewaswithhim，whereashe，becausehischildhaddied，wasdead。HeperceivedmoreclearlythecrueltyofNature，towhomourrefinementandpietyarebutasbubbles，hurryingdownwardsontheturbidwaters。Theybreak，andthestreamcontinues。Hisfather，asafinalinsult，hadbroughtintotheworldamanunlikealltherestofthem，amandoweredwithcoarsekindlinessandrusticstrength，akindofcynicalploughboy，againstwhomtheirownmiseryandweaknessmightstandmorevividlyrelieved。"BornanElliot——bornagentleman。"Sothevilephraseran。ButherewasanElliotwhosebadnesswasnotevengentlemanly。ForthatStephenwasbadinherentlyheneverdoubtedforamomentandhewouldhavechildren:he，notRickie，wouldcontributetothestream;he，throughhisremoteposterity，mightmingledwiththeunknownsea。