第1章

PARTICAMBRIDGE

I

"Thecowisthere，"saidAnsell，lightingamatchandholdingitoutoverthecarpet。Noonespoke。Hewaitedtilltheendofthematchfelloff。Thenhesaidagain，"Sheisthere，thecow。

There，now。"

"Youhavenotprovedit，"saidavoice。

"Ihaveprovedittomyself。"

"Ihaveprovedtomyselfthatsheisn’t，"saidthevoice。

"Thecowisnotthere。"Ansellfrownedandlitanothermatch。

"She’sthereforme，"hedeclared。"Idon’tcarewhethershe’sthereforyouornot。WhetherI’minCambridgeorIcelandordead，thecowwillbethere。"

Itwasphilosophy。Theywerediscussingtheexistenceofobjects。

Dotheyexistonlywhenthereissomeonetolookatthem？Orhavetheyarealexistenceoftheirown？Itisallveryinteresting，butatthesametimeitisdifficult。Hencethecow。

Sheseemedtomakethingseasier。Shewassofamiliar，sosolid，thatsurelythetruthsthatsheillustratedwouldintimebecomefamiliarandsolidalso。Isthecowthereornot？Thiswasbetterthandecidingbetweenobjectivityandsubjectivity。SoatOxford，justatthesametime，onewasasking，"Whatdoourroomslooklikeinthevac。？"

"Lookhere，Ansell。I’mthere——inthemeadow——thecow’sthere。You’rethere——thecow’sthere。Doyouagreesofar？"

"Well？"

"Well，ifyougo，thecowstops;butifIgo，thecowgoes。

ThenwhatwillhappenifyoustopandIgo？"

Severalvoicescriedoutthatthiswasquibbling。

"Iknowitis，"saidthespeakerbrightly，andsilencedescendedagain，whiletheytriedhonestlytothinkthematterout。

Rickie，onwhosecarpetthematcheswerebeingdropped，didnotliketojoininthediscussion。Itwastoodifficultforhim。Hecouldnotevenquibble。Ifhespoke，heshouldsimplymakehimselfafool。Hepreferredtolisten，andtowatchthetobacco—smokestealingoutpastthewindow—seatintothetranquilOctoberair。Hecouldseethecourttoo，andthecollegecatteasingthecollegetortoise，andthekitchen—menwithsupper—traysupontheirheads。Hotfoodforone——thatmustbeforthegeographicaldon，whonevercameinforHall;coldfoodforthree，apparentlyathalf—a—crownahead，forsomeonehedidnotknow;hotfood，alacarte——obviouslyfortheladieshauntingthenextstaircase;coldfoodfortwo，attwoshillings——goingtoAnsell’sroomsforhimselfandAnsell，andasitpassedunderthelamphesawthatitwasmeringuesagain。Thenthebedmakersbegantoarrive，chattingtoeachotherpleasantly，andhecouldhearAnsell’sbedmakersay，"Ohdang！"whenshefoundshehadtolayAnsell’stablecloth;fortherewasnotabreathstirring。Thegreatelmsweremotionless，andseemedstillinthegloryofmidsummer，forthedarknesshidtheyellowblotchesontheirleaves，andtheiroutlineswerestillroundedagainstthetendersky。ThoseelmswereDryads——soRickiebelievedorpretended，andthelinebetweenthetwoissubtlerthanweadmit。Atalleventstheywereladytrees，andhadforgenerationsfooledthecollegestatutesbytheirresidenceinthehauntsofyouth。

Butwhataboutthecow？Hereturnedtoherwithastart，forthiswouldneverdo。Healsowouldtrytothinkthematterout。Wasshethereornot？Thecow。Thereornot。Hestrainedhiseyesintothenight。

Eitherwayitwasattractive。Ifshewasthere，othercowsweretheretoo。ThedarknessofEuropewasdottedwiththem，andinthefarEasttheirflankswereshiningintherisingsun。Greatherdsofthemstoodbrowsinginpastureswherenomancamenorneedevercome，orplashedknee—deepbythebrinkofimpassablerivers。Andthis，moreover，wastheviewofAnsell。YetTilliard’sviewhadagooddealinit。OnemightdoworsethanfollowTilliard，andsupposethecownottobethereunlessoneselfwastheretoseeher。Acowlessworld，then，stretchedroundhimoneveryside。Yethehadonlytopeepintoafield，and，click！itwouldatoncebecomeradiantwithbovinelife。

Suddenlyherealizedthatthis，again，wouldneverdo。Asusual，hehadmissedthewholepoint，andwasoverlayingphilosophywithgrossandsenselessdetails。Forifthecowwasnotthere，theworldandthefieldswerenotthereeither。

AndwhatwouldAnsellcareaboutsunlitflanksorimpassablestreams？Rickierebukedhisowngrovelingsoul，andturnedhiseyesawayfromthenight，whichhadledhimtosuchabsurdconclusions。

Thefirewasdancing，andtheshadowofAnsell，whostoodcloseuptoit，seemedtodominatethelittleroom。Hewasstilltalking，orratherjerking，andhewasstilllightingmatchesanddroppingtheirendsuponthecarpet。Nowandthenhewouldmakeamotionwithhisfeetasifhewererunningquicklybackwardupstairs，andwouldtreadontheedgeofthefender，sothatthefire—ironswentflyingandthebuttered—bundishescrashedagainsteachotherinthehearth。Theotherphilosopherswerecrouchedinoddshapesonthesofaandtableandchairs，andone，whowasalittlebored，hadcrawledtothepianoandwastimidlytryingthePreludetoRhinegoldwithhiskneeuponthesoftpedal。Theairwasheavywithgoodtobacco—smokeandthepleasantwarmthoftea，andasRickiebecamemoresleepytheeventsofthedayseemedtofloatonebyonebeforehisacquiescenteyes。InthemorninghehadreadTheocritus，whomhebelievedtobethegreatestofGreekpoets;hehadlunchedwithamerrydonandhadtastedZwiebackbiscuits;thenhehadwalkedwithpeopleheliked，andhadwalkedjustlongenough;andnowhisroomwasfullofotherpeoplewhomheliked，andwhentheylefthewouldgoandhavesupperwithAnsell，whomhelikedaswellasanyone。Ayearagohehadknownnoneofthesejoys。Hehadcreptcoldandfriendlessandignorantoutofagreatpublicschool，preparingforasilentandsolitaryjourney，andprayingasahighestfavourthathemightbeleftalone。Cambridgehadnotansweredhisprayer。Shehadtakenandsoothedhim，andwarmedhim，andhadlaughedathimalittle，sayingthathemustnotbesotragicyetawhile，forhisboyhoodhadbeenbutadustycorridorthatledtothespacioushallsofyouth。Inoneyearhehadmademanyfriendsandlearntmuch，andhemightlearnevenmoreifhecouldbutconcentratehisattentiononthatcow。

Thefirehaddieddown，andinthegloomthemanbythepianoventuredtoaskwhatwouldhappenifanobjectivecowhadasubjectivecalf。Ansellgaveanangrysigh，andatthatmomenttherewasataponthedoor。

"Comein！"saidRickie。

Thedooropened。Atallyoungwomanstoodframedinthelightthatfellfromthepassage。

"Ladies！"whisperedevery—oneingreatagitation。

"Yes？"hesaidnervously，limpingtowardsthedoor（hewasratherlame）。"Yes？Pleasecomein。CanIbeanygood——"

"Wickedboy！"exclaimedtheyounglady，advancingaglovedfingerintotheroom。"Wicked，wickedboy！"

Heclaspedhisheadwithhishands。

"Agnes！Ohhowperfectlyawful！"

"Wicked，intolerableboy！"Sheturnedontheelectriclight。Thephilosopherswererevealedwithunpleasingsuddenness。"Mygoodness，atea—party！Ohreally，Rickie，youaretoobad！Isayagain:wicked，abominable，intolerableboy！I’llhaveyouhorsewhipped。Ifyouplease"——sheturnedtothesymposium，whichhadnowrisentoitsfeet"Ifyouplease，heasksmeandmybrotherfortheweek—end。Weaccept。Atthestation，noRickie。

Wedrivetowherehisoldlodgingswere——TrumperyRoadorsomesuchname——andhe’sleftthem。I’mfurious，andbeforeIcanstopmybrother，he’spaidoffthecabandtherewearestranded。I’vewalked——walkedformiles。PraycanyoutellmewhatistobedonewithRickie？"

"Hemustindeedbehorsewhipped，"saidTilliardpleasantly。Thenhemadeaboltforthedoor。

"Tilliard——dostop——letmeintroduceMissPembroke——don’tallgo！"Forhisfriendswereflyingfromhisvisitorlikemistsbeforethesun。"Oh，Agnes，Iamsosorry;I’venothingtosay。I

simplyforgotyouwerecoming，andeverythingaboutyou。"

"Thankyou，thankyou！AndhowsoonwillyouremembertoaskwhereHerbertis？"

"Whereishe，then？"

"Ishallnottellyou。"

"Butdidn’thewalkwithyou？"

"Ishallnottell，Rickie。It’spartofyourpunishment。Youarenotreallysorryyet。Ishallpunishyouagainlater。"

Shewasquiteright。Rickiewasnotasmuchupsetasheoughttohavebeen。Hewassorrythathehadforgotten，andthathehadcausedhisvisitorsinconvenience。Buthedidnotfeelprofoundlydegraded，asayoungmanshouldwhohasacteddiscourteouslytoayounglady。Hadheacteddiscourteouslytohisbedmakerorhisgyp，hewouldhavemindedjustasmuch，whichwasnotpoliteofhim。

"First，I’llgoandgetfood。Dositdownandrest。Oh，letmeintroduce——"

Ansellwasnowthesoleremnantofthediscussionparty。Hestillstoodonthehearthrugwithaburntmatchinhishand。MissPembroke’sarrivalhadneverdisturbedhim。

"LetmeintroduceMr。Ansell——MissPembroke。"

Therecameanawfulmoment——amomentwhenhealmostregrettedthathehadacleverfriend。Ansellremainedabsolutelymotionless，movingneitherhandnorhead。SuchbehaviourissounknownthatMissPembrokedidnotrealizewhathadhappened，andkeptherownhandstretchedoutlongerthanismaidenly。

"Comingtosupper？"askedAnsellinlow，gravetones。

"Idon’tthinkso，"saidRickiehelplessly。

Anselldepartedwithoutanotherword。

"Don’tmindus，"saidMissPembrokepleasantly。"Whyshouldn’tyoukeepyourengagementwithyourfriend？Herbert’sfindinglodgings，——that’swhyhe’snothere，——andthey’resuretobeabletogiveussomedinner。Whatjollyroomsyou’vegot！"

"Ohno——notabit。Isay，Iamsorry。Iamsorry。Iammostawfullysorry。"

"Whatabout？"

"Ansell"Thenheburstforth。"Ansellisn’tagentleman。Hisfather’sadraper。Hisunclesarefarmers。He’sherebecausehe’ssoclever——justonaccountofhisbrains。Now，sitdown。Heisn’tagentlemanatall。"Andhehurriedofftoordersomedinner。

"Whatasnobtheboyisgetting！"thoughtAgnes，agooddealmollified。Itneverstruckherthatthosecouldbethewordsofaffection——thatRickiewouldneverhavespokenthemaboutapersonwhomhedisliked。NordiditstrikeherthatAnsell’shumblebirthscarcelyexplainedthequalityofhisrudeness。Shewaswillingtofindlifefulloftrivialities。Sixmonthsagoandshemighthaveminded;butnow——shecarednotwhatmenmightdountoher，forshehadherownsplendidlover，whocouldhaveknockedalltheseunhealthyundergraduatesintoacocked—hat。ShedarednottellGeraldawordofwhathadhappened:hemighthavecomeupfromwhereverhewasandhalfkilledAnsell。Andshedeterminednottotellherbrothereither，forhernaturewaskindly，anditpleasedhertopassthingsover。

Shetookoffhergloves，andthenshetookoffherear—ringsandbegantoadmirethem。Theseear—ringswereafreakofhers——heronlyfreak。Shehadalwayswantedsome，andthedayGeraldaskedhertomarryhimshewenttoashopandhadherearspierced。Insomewonderfulwaysheknewthatitwasright。Andhehadgivenhertherings——littlegoldknobs，copied，thejewellertoldthem，fromsomethingprehistoricandhehadkissedthespotsofbloodonherhandkerchief。Herbert，asusual，hadbeenshocked。

"Ican’thelpit，"shecried，springingup。"I’mnotlikeothergirls。"ShebegantopaceaboutRickie’sroom，forshehatedtokeepquiet。Therewasnothingmuchtoseeinit。Thepictureswerenotattractive，nordidtheyattracther——schoolgroups，Watts’"SirPercival，"adogrunningafterarabbit，amanrunningafteramaid，acheapbrownMadonnainacheapgreenframe——inshort，acollectionwhereonemediocritywasgenerallycancelledbyanother。Overthedoortherehungalongphotographofacitywithwaterways，whichAgnes，whohadneverbeentoVenice，tooktobeVenice，butwhichpeoplewhohadbeentoStockholmknewtobeStockholm。Rickie’smother，lookingrathersweet，wasstandingonthemantelpiece。Somemorepictureshadjustarrivedfromtheframersandwereleaningwiththeirfacestothewall，butshedidnotbothertoturnthemround。Onthetableweredirtyteacups，aflatchocolatecake，andOmarKhayyam，withanOswegobiscuitbetweenhispages。Alsoavasefilledwiththecrimsonleavesofautumn。Thismadehersmile。

Thenshesawherhost’sshoes:hehadleftthemlyingonthesofa。Rickiewasslightlydeformed，andsotheshoeswerenotthesamesize，andoneofthemhadathickheeltohelphimtowardsanevenwalk。"Ugh！"sheexclaimed，andremovedthemgingerlytothebedroom。Thereshesawothershoesandbootsandpumps，awholerowofthem，alldeformed。"Ugh！Poorboy！Itistoobad。

Whyshouldn’thebelikeotherpeople？Thishereditarybusinessistooawful。"Sheshutthedoorwithasigh。ThensherecalledtheperfectformofGerald，hisathleticwalk，thepoiseofhisshoulders，hisarmsstretchedforwardtoreceiveher。Graduallyshewascomforted。

"Ibegyourpardon，miss，butmightIaskhowmanytolay？"Itwasthebedmaker，Mrs。Aberdeen。

"Three，Ithink，"saidAgnes，smilingpleasantly。"Mr。Elliot’llbebackinaminute。Hehasgonetoorderdinner。

"Thankyou，miss。"

"Plentyofteacupstowashup！"

"Butteacupsiseasywashing，particularlyMr。Elliot’s。"

"Whyarehissoeasy？"

"Becausenonastycornersinthemtoholdthedirt。Mr。

Anderson——he’sbelow—hascrinklynoctagons，andonewouldn’tbelievethedifference。ItwasIboughttheseforMr。Elliot。Hisonethoughtistosaveonetrouble。Ineverseedsuchathoughtfulgentleman。Theworld，Isay，willbethebetterforhim。"Shetooktheteacupsintothegyproom，andthenreturnedwiththetablecloth，andadded，"ifhe’sspared。"

"I’mafraidheisn’tstrong，"saidAgnes。

"Oh，miss，hisnose！Idon’tknowwhathe’dsayifheknewI

mentionedhisnose，butreallyImustspeaktosomeone，andhehasneitherfathernormother。Hisnose！ItpouredtwicewithbloodintheLong。"

"Yes？"

"It’sathingthatoughttobeknown。Iassureyou，thatlittleroom！……Andinanycase，Mr。Elliot’sagentlemanthatcanillaffordtoloseit。Luckilyhisfriendswereup;andIalwayssaythey’remorelikebrothersthananythingelse。"

"Niceforhim。Hehasnorealbrothers。"

"Oh，Mr。Hornblower，heisamerrygentleman，andMr。Tilliardtoo！AndMr。Elliothimselflikeshisrompattimes。Why，it’sthemerrieststaircaseinthebuildings！LastnightthebedmakerfromWsaidtome，’Whatareyoudoingtomygentlemen？Here’sMr。

Ansellcomeback’otwithhiscollarflopping。’Isaid，’Andagoodthing。’Somebedderskeeptheirgentlemenjustso;butsurely，miss，theworldbeingwhatitis，thelongeroneisabletolaughinitthebetter。"

Bedmakershavetobecomicanddishonest。Itisexpectedofthem。

Inapictureofuniversitylifeitistheironlyfunction。Sowhenwemeetonewhohasthefaceofalady，andfeelingsofwhichaladymightbeproud，wepassherby。

"Yes？"saidMissPembroke，andthentheirtalkwasstoppedbythearrivalofherbrother。

"Itistoobad！"heexclaimed。"Itisreallytoobad。"

"Now，Bertieboy，Bertieboy！I’llhavenopeevishness。"

"Iamnotpeevish，Agnes，butIhaveafullrighttobe。Pray，whydidhenotmeetus？Whydidhenotproviderooms？Andpray，whydidyouleavemetodoallthesettling？AllthelodgingsI

knewarefull，andourbedroomslookintoamews。Icannothelpit。Andthen——lookhere！Itreallyistoobad。"Hehelduphisfootlikeawoundeddog。Itwasdrippingwithwater。

"Oho！Thisexplainsthepeevishness。Offwithitatonce。It’llbeanotherofyourcolds。"

"IreallythinkIhadbetter。"Hesatdownbythefireanddaintilyunlacedhisboot。"Inoticeagreatchangeinuniversitytone。IcanneverrememberswaggeringthreeabreastalongthepavementandcharginginoffensivevisitorsintoagutterwhenI

wasanundergraduate。Oneofthemen，too，woreanEtontie。Buttheothers，Ishouldsay，camefromveryqueerschools，iftheycamefromanyschoolsatall。"

Mr。Pembrokewasnearlytwentyyearsolderthanhissister，andhadneverbeenashandsome。Buthewasnotatallthepersontoknockintoagutter，forthoughnotinorders，hehadtheairofbeingonthevergeofthem，andhisfeatures，aswellashisclothes，hadtheclericalcut。Inhispresenceconversationbecamepureandcolourlessandfullofunderstatements，and——justasifhewasarealclergyman——neithermennorboyseverforgotthathewasthere。Hehadobservedthis，anditpleasedhimverymuch。HisconsciencepermittedhimtoentertheChurchwheneverhisprofession，whichwasthescholastic，shoulddemandit。

"Nogutterintheworld’saswetasthis，"saidAgnes，whohadpeeledoffherbrother’ssock，andwasnowtoastingitattheembersonapairoftongs。

"SurelyyouknowtherunningwaterbytheedgeoftheTrumpingtonroad？It’sturnedonoccasionallytoclearawaytherefuse——amostprimitiveidea。WhenIwasupwehadajokeaboutit，andcalleditthe’Pem。’"

"Howcomplimentary！"

"Youfoolishgirl，——notafterme，ofcourse。Wecalleditthe’Pem’becauseitisclosetoPembrokeCollege。Iremember——"Hesmiledalittle，andtwiddledhistoes。Thenherememberedthebedmaker，andsaid，"Mysockisnowdry。Mysock，please。"

"Yoursockissopping。No，youdon’t！"Shetwitchedthetongsawayfromhim。Mrs。Aberdeen，withoutspeaking，fetchedapairofRickie’ssocksandapairofRickie’sshoes。

"Thankyou;ah，thankyou。IamsureMr。Elliotwouldallowit。"

ThenhesaidinFrenchtohissister，"HastherebeentheslightestsignofFrederick？"

"Now，docallhimRickie，andtalkEnglish。Ifoundhimhere。Hehadforgottenaboutus，andwasverysorry。Nowhe’sgonetogetsomedinner，andIcan’tthinkwhyheisn’tback。"

Mrs。Aberdeenleftthem。

"Hewantspullingupsharply。Thereisnothingoriginalinabsent—mindedness。Trueoriginalitylieselsewhere。Really，thelowerclasseshavenonous。HowevercanIwearsuchdeformities？"Forhehadbeenmadlytryingtocramaright—handfootintoaleft—handshoe。

"Don’t！"saidAgneshastily。"Don’ttouchthepoorfellow’sthings。"Thesightofthesmart，stubbypatentleathermadeheralmostfeelfaint。ShehadknownRickieformanyyears，butitseemedsodreadfulandsodifferentnowthathewasaman。Itwasherfirstgreatcontactwiththeabnormal，andunknownfibresofherbeingroseinrevoltagainstit。Shefrownedwhensheheardhisuneventreaduponthestairs。

"Agnes——beforehearrives——yououghtnevertohaveleftmeandgonetohisroomsalone。Amostelementarytransgression。Imaginetheunpleasantnessifyouhadfoundhimwithfriends。IfGerald——"

Rickiebynowhadgotintoafluster。Atthekitchenshehadlosthishead，andwhenhisturncame——hehadhadtowait——hehadyieldedhisplacetothosebehind，sayingthathedidn’tmatter。

Andhehadwastedmoreprecioustimebuyingbananas，thoughheknewthatthePembrokeswerenotpartialtofruit。Amidmuchtardyandchaotichospitalitythemealgotunderway。Allthespoonsandforkswereanyhow，forMrs。Aberdeen’svirtueswerenotpractical。Thefishseemednevertohavebeenalive，themeathadnokick，andthecorkofthecollegeclaretslidforthsilently，asifashamedofthecontents。Agneswasparticularlypleasant。Butherbrothercouldnotrecoverhimself。Hestillrememberedtheirdesolatearrival，andhecouldfeelthewatersofthePemeatingintohisinstep。

"Rickie，"criedthelady，"areyouawarethatyouhaven’tcongratulatedmeonmyengagement？"

Rickielaughednervously，andsaid，"Whyno！NomoreIhave。"

"Saysomethingpretty，then。"

"Ihopeyou’llbeveryhappy，"hemumbled。"ButIdon’tknowanythingaboutmarriage。"

"Oh，youawfulboy！Herbert，isn’thejustthesame？ButyoudoknowsomethingaboutGerald，sodon’tbesochillyandcautious。

I’vejustrealized，lookingatthosegroups，thatyoumusthavebeenatschooltogether。Didyoucomemuchacrosshim？"

"Verylittle，"heanswered，andsoundedshy。Hegotuphastily，andbegantomuddlewiththecoffee。

"Buthewasinthesamehouse。Surelythat’sahousegroup？"

"Hewasaprefect。"Hemadehiscoffeeonthesimplesystem。Onehadabrownpot，intowhichtheboilingstuffwaspoured。Justbeforeservingoneputinadropofcoldwater，andtheideawasthatthegroundsfelltothebottom。

"Wasn’theakindofathleticmarvel？Couldn’theknockanyboyormasterdown？"

"Yes。"

"Ifhehadwantedto，"saidMr。Pembroke，whohadnotspokenforsometime。

"Ifhehadwantedto，"echoedRickie。"Idohope，Agnes，you’llbemostawfullyhappy。Idon’tknowanythingaboutthearmy，butIshouldthinkitmustbemostawfullyinteresting。"

Mr。Pembrokelaughedfaintly。

"Yes，Rickie。Thearmyisamostinterestingprofession，——theprofessionofWellingtonandMarlboroughandLordRoberts;amostinterestingprofession，asyouobserve。Aprofessionthatmaymeandeath——death，ratherthandishonour。"

"That’snice，"saidRickie，speakingtohimself。"Anyprofessionmaymeandishonour，butoneisn’tallowedtodieinstead。Thearmy’sdifferent。Ifasoldiermakesamess，it’sthoughtratherdecentofhim，isn’tit，ifheblowsouthisbrains？Intheotherprofessionsitsomehowseemscowardly。"

"Iamnotcompetenttopronounce，"saidMr。Pembroke，whowasnotaccustomedtohavehisschoolroomsatirecommentedon。"Imerelyknowthatthearmyisthefinestprofessionintheworld。Whichremindsme，Rickie——haveyoubeenthinkingaboutyours？"

"No。"

"Notatall？"

"No。"

"Now，Herbert，don’tbotherhim。Haveanothermeringue。"

"But，Rickie，mydearboy，you’retwenty。It’stimeyouthought。

TheTriposisthebeginningoflife，nottheend。InlessthantwoyearsyouwillhavegotyourB。A。Whatareyougoingtodowithit？"

"Idon’tknow。"

"You’reM。A。，aren’tyou？"askedAgnes;butherbrotherproceeded——

"Ihaveseensomanypromising，brilliantliveswreckedsimplyonaccountofthis——notsettlingsoonenough。Mydearboy，youmustthink。Consultyourtastesifpossible——butthink。Youhavenotamomenttolose。TheBar，likeyourfather？"

"Oh，Iwouldn’tlikethatatall。"

"Idon’tmentiontheChurch。"

"Oh，Rickie，dobeaclergyman！"saidMissPembroke。"You’dbesimplykillinginawide—awake。"

Helookedathisguestshopelessly。Theirkindnessandcompetenceoverwhelmedhim。"IwishIcouldtalktothemasItalktomyself，"hethought。"I’mnotsuchanasswhenItalktomyself。

Idon’tbelieve，forinstance，thatquiteallIthoughtaboutthecowwasrot。"Aloudhesaid，"I’vesometimeswonderedaboutwriting。"

"Writing？"saidMr。Pembroke，withthetoneofonewhogiveseverythingitstrial。"Well，whataboutwriting？Whatkindofwriting？"

"Iratherlike，"——hesuppressedsomethinginhisthroat，——"I

ratherliketryingtowritelittlestories。"

"Why，Imadesureitwaspoetry！"saidAgnes。"You’rejusttheboyforpoetry。"

"Ihadnoideayouwrote。Wouldyouletmeseesomething？ThenI

couldjudge。"

Theauthorshookhishead。"Idon’tshowittoanyone。Itisn’tanything。Ijusttrybecauseitamusesme。"

"Whatisitabout？"

"Sillynonsense。"

"Areyouevergoingtoshowittoanyone？"

"Idon’tthinkso。"

Mr。Pembrokedidnotreply，firstly，becausethemeringuehewaseatingwas，afterall，Rickie’s;secondly，becauseitwasglueyandstuckhisjawstogether。Agnesobservedthatthewritingwasreallyaverygoodidea:therewasRickie’saunt，——shecouldpushhim。

"AuntEmilyneverpushesanyone;shesaystheyalwaysreboundandcrushher。"

"Ionlyhadthepleasureofseeingyourauntonce。Ishouldhavethoughtheraquiteuncrushableperson。Butshewouldbesuretohelpyou。"

"Icouldn’tshowheranything。She’dthinkthemevensillierthantheyare。"

"Alwaysrunningyourselfdown！Therespeakstheartist！"

"I’mnotmodest，"hesaidanxiously。"Ijustknowthey’rebad。"

Mr。Pembroke’steethwereclearofmeringue，andhecouldrefrainnolonger。"MydearRickie，yourfatherandmotheraredead，andyouoftensayyouraunttakesnointerestinyou。Thereforeyourlifedependsonyourself。Thinkitovercarefully，butsettle，andhavingoncesettled，stick。Ifyouthinkthatthiswritingispracticable，andthatyoucouldmakeyourlivingbyit——thatyoucould，ifneedsbe，supportawife——thenbyallmeanswrite。Butyoumustwork。Workanddrudge。Beginatthebottomoftheladderandworkupwards。"

Rickie’sheaddrooped。Anymetaphorsilencedhim。Heneverthoughtofreplyingthatartisnotaladder——withacurate，asitwere，onthefirstrung，arectoronthesecond，andabishop，stillnearerheaven，atthetop。Heneverretortedthattheartistisnotabricklayeratall，butahorseman，whosebusinessitistocatchPegasusatonce，nottopractiseforhimbymountingtamercolts。Thisishard，hot，andgenerallyungracefulwork，butitisnotdrudgery。Fordrudgeryisnotart，andcannotleadtoit。