第7章

Shelthorpe，9SawstonParkRoad，SawstonDearAnsell，ButI’minlove——adetailyou’veforgotten。Ican’tlistentoEnglishEssays。ThewretchedAgnesmaybean"emissaryofNature，"butIonlygrinnedwhenIreadit。Imaybeextraordinarilycivilized，butIdon’tfeelso;I’minlove，andI’vefoundawomantoloveme，andImeantohavethehundredotherthingsaswell。Shewantsmetohavethem——friendsandwork，andspiritualfreedom，andeverything。Youandyourbooksmissthis，becauseyourbooksaretoosedate。Readpoetry——notonlyShelley。UnderstandBeatrice，andClaraMiddleton，andBrunhildeinthefirstsceneofGotterdammerung。UnderstandGoethewhenhesays"theeternalfeminineleadsuson，"anddon’twriteanotherEnglishEssay。——Yourseveraffectionately，R。E

CambridgeDearRickie:

WhatamItosay？"UnderstandXanthippe，andMrs。Bennet，andElsainthequestionsceneofLohengrin"？"UnderstandEuripideswhenhesaystheeternalfeminineleadsusaprettydance"？I

shallsaynothingofthesort。TheallusionsinthisEnglishEssayshallnotbeliterary。MypersonalobjectionstoMissPembrokeareasfollows:——

（1）Sheisnotserious。

（2）Sheisnottruthful。

Shelthorpe，9SawstonParkRoadSawstonMyDearStewart，Youcouldn’tknow。Ididn’tknowforamoment。Butthisletterofyoursisthemostwonderfulthingthathaseverhappenedtomeyet——morewonderful（Idon’texaggerate）thanthemomentwhenAgnespromisedtomarryme。Ialwaysknewyoulikedme，butI

neverknewhowmuchuntilthisletter。UptonowIthinkwehavebeentoomuchlikethestrongheroesinbookswhofeelsomuchandsaysolittle，andfeelallthemoreforsayingsolittle。

Nowthat’soverandweshallneverbethatkindofanassagain。

We’vehit——byaccident——uponsomethingpermanent。You’vewrittentome，"Ihatethewomanwhowillbeyourwife，"andIwriteback，"Hateher。Can’tIloveyouboth？"Shewillnevercomebetweenus，Stewart（Shewouldn’twishto，butthat’sbytheway），becauseourfriendshiphasnowpassedbeyondintervention。

Nothirdpersoncouldbreakit。Wecouldn’tourselves，Ifancy。

Wemayquarrelandarguetilloneofusdies，butthethingisregistered。Ionlywish，dearman，youcouldbehappier。Forme，it’sasifalightwassuddenlyheldbehindtheworld。

R。E。

Shelthorpe，9SawstonParkRoad，SawstonDearMrs。Lewin，——

Thetimegoesflying，butIamgettingtolearnmywonderfulboy。

Wespeakagreatdealabouthiswork。Hehasjustfinishedacuriousthingcalled"Nemi"——aboutaRomanshipthatisactuallysunkinsomelake。Icannotthinkhowhedescribesthethings，whenhehasneverseenthem。If，asIhope，hegoestoItalynextyear，heshouldturnoutsomethingreallygood。Meanwhilewearehuntingforapublisher。Herbertbelievesthatacollectionofshortstoriesishardtogetpublished。Itis，afterall，bettertowriteonelongone。

Butyoumustnotthinkweonlytalkbooks。Whatwesayonothertopicscannotsoeasilyberepeated！Oh，MrsLewin，heisadear，anddearerthanevernowthatwehavehimatSawston。Herbert，inaquietway，hasbeenmakinginquiriesaboutthoseCambridgefriendsofhis。Nothingagainstthem，buttheyseemtobeterriblyeccentric。Noneofthemaregoodatgames，andtheyspendalltheirsparetimethinkinganddiscussing。Theydiscusswhatoneknowsandwhatoneneverwillknowandwhatonehadmuchbetternotknow。Herbertsaysitisbecausetheyhavenotgotenoughtodo。——Everyourgratefulandaffectionatefriend，AgnesPembrokeShelthorpe，9SawstonParkRoadSawstonDearMr。Silt，——

Thankyouforthecongratulations，whichIhavehandedovertothedelightedRickie。

（ThecongratulationswerereallyaddressedtoAgnes——asocialblunderwhichMr。Pembrokedeftlycorrects。）

IamsorrythattherumorreachedyouthatIwasnotpleased。

Anythingpleasesmethatpromisesmysister’shappiness，andI

haveknownyourcousinnearlyaslongasyouhave。Itwillbeaverylongengagement，forhemustmakehiswayfirst。Thedearboyisnotnearlyaswealthyashesupposed;havingnotastes，andhardlyanyexpenses，heusedtotalkasifhewereamillionaire。Hemustatleastdoublehisincomebeforehecandreamofmoreintimateties。Thishasbeenabitterpill，butI

amgladtosaythattheyhaveaccepteditbravely。

HopingthatyouandMrs。SiltwillprofitbyyourweekatMargate。—Iremain，yoursverysincerely，HerbertPembrokeCadover，Wilts。

Dear{MissPembroke，{Agnes—

Ihearthatyouaregoingtomarrymynephew。Ihavenoideawhatheislike，andwonderwhetheryouwouldbringhimthatImayfindout。Isn’tSeptemberratheranicemonth？YoumighthavetogotoStoneHenge，butwiththatexceptionwouldbeleftunmolested。Idohopeyouwillmanagethevisit。WemetonceatMrs。Lewin’s，andIhaveaveryclearrecollectionofyou。——

Believeme，yourssincerely，EmilyFailingX

Theraintiltedalittlefromthesouth—west。Forthemostpartitfellfromagreycloudsilently，butnowandthenthetiltincreased，andakindofsighpassedoverthecountryasthedropslashedthewalls，trees，shepherds，andothermotionlessobjectsthatstoodintheirslantingcareer。Attimesthecloudwoulddescendandvisiblyembracetheearth，towhichithadonlysentmessages;andtheearthitselfwouldbringforthclouds——cloudsofawhiterbreed——whichformedinshallowvalleysandfollowedthecoursesofthestreams。Itseemedthebeginningoflife。AgainGodsaid，"Shallwedividethewatersfromthelandornot？Wasnotthefirmamentlabourandglorysufficient？"Atalleventsitwasthebeginningoflifepastoral，behindwhichimaginationcannottravel。

Yetcomplicatedpeopleweregettingwet——notonlytheshepherds。

Forinstance，thepiano—tunerwassopping。Sowasthevicar’swife。SowerethelieutenantandthepeevishdamselsinhisBattlestoncar。Gallantry，charity，andartpursuedtheirvariousmissions，perspiringandmuddy，whileoutontheslopesbeyondthemstoodtheeternalmanandtheeternaldog，guardingeternalsheepuntiltheworldisvegetarian。

Insideanarbour——whichfacedeast，andthusavoidedthebadweather——theresatacomplicatedpersonwhowasdry。Shelookedatthedrenchedworldwithapleasedexpression，andwouldsmilewhenacloudwouldlaydownonthevillage，orwhentherainsighedlouderthanusualagainsthersolidshelter。Ink，paperclips，andfoolscappaperwereonthetablebeforeher，andshecouldalsoreachanumbrella，awaterproof，awalking—stick，andanelectricbell。Heragewasbetweenelderlyandold，andherforeheadwaswrinkledwithanexpressionofslightbutperpetualpain。Butthelinesroundhermouthindicatedthatshehadlaughedagreatdealduringherlife，justasthecleantightskinroundhereyesperhapsindicatedthatshehadnotoftencried。Shewasdressedinbrownsilk。Abrownsilkshawllaymostbecominglyoverherbeautifulhair。

Afterlongthoughtshewroteonthepaperinfrontofher，"ThesubjectofthismemoirfirstsawthelightatWolverhamptononMaythe14th，1842。"Shelaiddownherpenandsaid"Ugh！"A

robinhoppedinandshewelcomedhim。Asparrowfollowedandshestampedherfoot。Shewatchedsomethickwhitewaterwhichwasslidinglikeasnakedownthegutterofthegravelpath。Ithadjustappeared。Itmusthaveescapedfromahollowinthechalkupbehind。Theearthcouldabsorbnolonger。Theladydidnotthinkofallthis，forshehatedquestionsofwhenceandwherefore，andthewaysoftheearth（"ourdullstepmother"）boredherunspeakably。Butthewater，justthesnakeofwater，wasamusing，andsheflunghergoloshatittodamitup。Thenshewrotefeverishly，"Thesubjectofthismemoirfirstsawthelightinthemiddleofthenight。Itwastwentytoeleven。Hispawasaparson，buthewasnothispa’sson，andneverwenttoheaven。"

Therewasthesoundofatrain，andpresentlywhitesmokeappeared，risinglaboriouslythroughtheheavyair。Itdistractedher，andforaboutaquarterofanhourshesatperfectlystill，doingnothing。Atlastshepushedthespoiltpaperaside，tookafreshpiece，andwasbeginningtowrite，"OnMaythe14th，1842，"whentherewasacrunchonthegravel，andafuriousvoicesaid，"IamsorryforFleaThompson。"

"IdaresayIamsorryforhimtoo，"saidthelady;hervoicewaslanguidandpleasant。"Whoishe？"

"Flea’saliar，andthenexttimewemeethe’llbeafootball。"

Offslippedasoddenulster。Hehungitupangrilyuponapeg:

thearbourprovidedseveral。

"Butwhoishe，andwhyhashethatdisastrousname？"

"Flea？Fleance。AlltheThompsonsarenamedoutofShakespeare。

HegrazestheRings。"

"Ah，Isee。Apetlamb。"

"Lamb！Shepherd！"

"OneofmyShepherds？"

"ThelasttimeIgowithhissheep。Butnotthelasttuneheseesme。Iamsorryforhim。Hedodgedmetoday，"

"Doyoumeantosay"——shebecameanimated——"thatyouhavebeenoutinthewetkeepingthesheepofFleaThompson？"

"Ihadto。"Heblewonhisfingersandtookoffhiscap。Watertrickledoverhisunshavencheeks。Hishairwassowetthatitseemedworkeduponhisscalpinbronze。

"Getaway，baddog！"screamedthelady，forhehadgivenhimselfashakeandspatteredherdresswithwater。Hewasapowerfulboyoftwenty，admirablymuscular，butrathertoobroadforhisheight。Peoplecalledhim"Podge"untiltheyweredissuaded。Thentheycalledhim"Stephen"or"Mr。Wonham。"Thenhesaid，"YoucancallmePodgeifyoulike。"

"AsforFlea——！"hebegantempestuously。Hesatdownbyher，andwithmuchheavybreathingtoldthestory，——"FleahasagirlatWintersbridge，andIhadtogowithhissheepwhilehewenttoseeher。Twohours。Weagreed。Halfanhourtogo，anhourtokisshisgirl，andhalfanhourback——andhehadmybike。Fourhours！FourhoursandsevenminutesIwasontheRings，withafoolofadog，andsheepdoingalltheyknewtogettheturnips。"

"Myfarmisamysterytome，"saidthelady，strokingherfingers。

"Somedayyoumustreallytakemetoseeit。ItmustbelikeaGilbertandSullivanopera，withachorusofagitatedemployers。

HowisitthatIhaveescaped？WhyhaveIneverbeensummonedtomilkthecows，orflaythepigs，ordrivetheyoungbullockstothepasture？"

Helookedatherwithastonishinglyblueeyes——theonlydrythingshehadabouthim。Hecouldnotseeintoher:shewouldhavepuzzledanolderandcleverman。Hemayhaveseenroundher。

"Athingofbeautyyouarenot。ButIsometimesthinkyouareajoyforever。"

"Ibegyourpardon？"

"Oh，youunderstandrightenough，"sheexclaimedirritably，andthensmiled，forhewasconceited，anddidnotlikebeingtoldthathewasnotathingofbeauty。"Largeandsteadyfeet，"shecontinued，"havethisdisadvantage——youcanknockdownaman，butyouwillneverknockdownawoman。"

"Idon’tknowwhatyoumean。I’mnotlikely——"

"Oh，nevermind——never，nevermind。Iwasbeingfunny。Irepent。

Tellmeaboutthesheep。Whydidyougowiththem？"

"Ididtellyou。Ihadto。"

"Butwhy？"

"Hehadtoseehisgirl。"

"Butwhy？"

Hiseyesshotpastheragain。Itwassoobviousthatthemanhadtoseehisgirl。Fortwohoursthough——notforfourhourssevenminutes。

"Didyouhaveanylunch？"

"Idon’tholdwithregularmeals。"

"Didyouhaveabook？"

"Idon’tholdwithbooksintheopen。Noneoftheoldermenread。"

"Didyoucommunewithyourself，ordon’tyouholdwiththat？"

"OhLord，don’taskme！"

"Youdistressme。YourobthePastoralofitslingeringromance。

IstherenopoetryandnothoughtinEngland？Istherenoone，inallthesedowns，whowarbleswitheagerthoughttheDoriclay？"

"Chapssingtothemselvesattimes，ifyoumeanthat。"

"IdreamofArcady。Iopenmyeyes。Wiltshire。OfAmaryllis:FleaThompson’sgirl。Ofthepensiveshepherd，twitchinghismantleblue:youinanulster。Aren’tyousorryforme？"

"MayIputinapipe？"

"Byallmeansputapipein。Inreturn，tellmeofwhatyouwerethinkingforthefourhoursandthesevenminutes。"

Helaughedshyly。"Youdoaskamansuchquestions。"

"Didyousimplywastethetime？"

"Isupposeso。"

"IthoughtthatColonelRobertIngersollsaysyoumustbestrenuous。"

Atthesoundofthisnamehewhiskedopenalittlecupboard，anddeclaring，"Ihaven’tamomenttospare，"tookoutofitapileof"Clarion"andotherreprints，adornedastotheircoverswithbaldorbeardedapostlesofhumanity。Selectingabaldone，hebeganatoncetoread，occasionallyexclaiming，"That’sgotthem，""That’sknockedGenesis，"withsimilarejaculationsofanaspiringmind。Sheglancedatthepile。Reran，minusthestyle。

Darwin，minusthemodesty。AcomiceditionofthebookofJob，by"Excelsior，"Pittsburgh，Pa。"TheBeginningofLife，"withdiagrams。"AngelorApe？"byMrs。JuliaP。Chunk。Shewasamused，andwonderedidlywhatwaspassingwithinhisnarrowbutnotuninterestingbrain。Didhesupposethathewasgoingto"findout"？Shehadtriedonceherself，buthadsincesubsidedintoasprightlyorthodoxy。Whydidn’thereadpoetry，insteadofwastinghistimebetweenbooksliketheseandcountrylikethat？

Thecloudparted，andtheincreaseoflightmadeherlookup。

Overthevalleyshesawagravesullendown，andonitsflanksalittlebrownsmudge——hersheep，togetherwithhershepherd，FleanceThompson，returnedtohisdutiesatlast。Atrickleofwatercamethroughthearbourroof。Sheshriekedindismay。

"That’sallright，"saidhercompanion，movingherchair，butstillkeepinghisplaceinhisbook。

Shedriedupthespotonthemanuscript。Thenshewrote:"AnthonyEustaceFailing，thesubjectofthismemoir，wasbornatWolverhampton。"Butshewrotenomore。Shewasfidgety。Anotherdropfellfromtheroof。Likewiseanearwig。Shewishedshehadnotbeensoplayfulinflinginghergoloshintothepath。Theboywhowasoverthrowingreligionbreathedsomewhatheavilyashedidso。Anotherearwig。Shetouchedtheelectricbell。

"I’mgoingin，"sheobserved。"It’sfartoowet。"Againthecloudpartedandcausedhertoadd，"Weren’tyouratherkindtoFlea？"

Buthewasdeepinthebook。Hereadlikeapoorperson，withlipsapartandafingerthatfollowedtheprint。Attimeshescratchedhisear，orranhistonguealongastragglingblondemoustache。Hisfacehadafterallacertainbeauty:atalleventsthecolouringwasregal——asteadycrimsonfromthroattoforehead:thesunandthewindshadworkedonhimdailyeversincehewasborn。"Thefaceofastrongman，"thoughtthelady。

"Lethimthankhisstarsheisn’tasilentstrongman，orI’dturnhimintothegutter。"SuddenlyitstruckherthathewaslikeanIrishterrier。Heworriedinfinityasifitwasabone。

Gnashinghisteeth，hetriedtocarrytheeternalsubtletiesbyviolence。Asamanheoftenboredher，forhewasalwayssayinganddoingthesamethings。Butasaphilosopherhereallywasajoyforever，aninexhaustiblebuffoon。Takingupherpen，shebegantocaricaturehim。Shedrewarabbit—warrenwhererabbitswereatplayinfourdimensions。Beforeshehadintroducedtheprincipalfigure，shewasinterruptedbythefootman。Hehadcomeupfromthehousetoanswerthebell。Onseeingherheutteredarespectfulcry。

"Madam！Areyouhere？Iamverysorry。Ilookedforyoueverywhere。Mr。ElliotandMissPembrokearrivednearlyanhourago。"

"Ohdear，ohdear！"exclaimedMrs。Failing。"Takethesepapers。

Where’stheumbrella？Mr。Stephenwillholditoverme。Youhurrybackandapologize。Aretheyhappy？"

"MissPembrokeinquiredafteryou，madam。"

"Havetheyhadtea？"

"Yes，madam。"

"Leighton！"

"Yes，sir。"

"Ibelieveyouknewshewashereallthetime。Youdidn’twanttowetyourprettyskin。"

"Youmustnotcallme’she’totheservants，"saidMrs。Failingastheywalkedaway，shelimpingwithastick，heholdingagreatumbrellaoverher。"Iwillnothaveit。"Thenmorepleasantly，"Anddon’ttellhimhelies。Wealllie。Iknewquitewelltheywerecomingbythefour—sixtrain。Isawitpass。"

"Thatremindsme。AnotherchildrunoverattheRomancrossing。

Whish——bang——dead。"

"Ohmyfoot！Ohmyfoot，myfoot！"saidMrs。Failing，andpausedtotakebreath。

"Bad？"heaskedcallously。

Leighton，withbowedhead，passedthemwiththemanuscriptanddisappearedamongthelaurels。Thetwingeofpain，whichhadbeenslight，passedaway，andtheyproceeded，descendingagreenairlesscorridorwhichopenedintothegraveldrive。

"Isn’titodd，"saidMrs。Failing，"thattheGreeksshouldbeenthusiasticaboutlaurels——thatApolloshouldpursueanyonewhocouldpossiblyturnintosuchafrightfulplant？WhatdoyoumakeofRickie？"

"Oh，Idon’tknow。"

"ShallIlendyouhisstorytoread？"

Hemadenoreply。

"Don’tyouthink，Stephen，thatapersoninyourprecariouspositionoughttobeciviltomyrelatives？"

"Sorry，Mrs。Failing。Imeanttobecivil。Ionlyhadn’t——

anythingtosay。"

Shealaughed。"Areyouadearboy？Isometimeswonder;orareyouabrute？"

Againhehadnothingtosay。Thenshelaughedmoremischievously，andsaid——

"Howcanyoubeeither，whenyouareaphilosopher？Wouldyoumindtellingme——Iamsoanxioustolearn——whathappenstopeoplewhentheydie？"

"Don’taskME。"Heknewbybitterexperiencethatshewasmakingfunofhim。

"Oh，butIdoaskyou。Thosepaperbooksofyoursaresoup—to—date。Forinstance，whathashappenedtothechildyousaywaskilledontheline？"

Therainincreased。Thedropspatteredhardontheleaves，andoutsidethecorridormenandwomenwerestruggling，howeverstupidly，withthefactsoflife。Insideittheywrangled。Sheteasedtheboy，andlaughedathistheories，andprovedthatnomancanbeanagnosticwhohasasenseofhumour。Suddenlyshestopped，notthroughanyskillofhis，butbecauseshehadrememberedsomewordsofBacon:"Thetrueatheistishewhosehandsarecauterizedbyholythings。"Shethoughtofherdistantyouth。Theworldwasnotsohumorousthen，butithadbeenmoreimportant。Foramomentsherespectedhercompanion，anddeterminedtovexhimnomore。

Theylefttheshelterofthelaurels，crossedthebroaddrive，andwereinsidethehouseatlast。Shehadgotquitewet，fortheweatherwouldnotletherplaythesimplelifewithimpunity。Asforhim，heseemedapieceofthewet。

"Lookhere，"shecried，ashehurrieduptohisattic，"don’tshave！"

Hewasdelightedwiththepermission。

"IhaveanideathatMissPembrokeisofthetypethatpretendstobeunconventionalandreallyisn’t。Iwanttoseehowshetakesit。Don’tshave。"

Inthedrawing—roomshecouldheartheguestsconversinginthesubduedtonesofthosewhohavenotbeenwelcomed。HavingchangedherdressandglancedatthepoemsofMilton，shewenttothem，withupliftedhandsofapologyandhorror。

"ButImusthavetea，"sheannounced，whentheyhadassuredherthattheyunderstood。"OtherwiseIshallstartbybeingcross。

Agnes，stopme。Givemetea。"

Agnes，lookingpleased，movedtothetableandservedherhostess。Rickiefollowedwithapagodaofsandwichesandlittlecakes。

"Ifeeltwenty—sevenyearsyounger。Rickie，youaresolikeyourfather。Ifeelitistwenty—sevenyearsago，andthatheisbringingyourmothertoseemeforthefirsttime。Itiscurious——almostterrible——toseehistoryrepeatingitself。"

Theremarkwasnottactful。

"Irememberthatvisitwell，"shecontinuedthoughtfully，"I

supposeitwasawonderfulvisit，thoughwenoneofusknewitatthetime。Weallfellinlovewithyourmother。Iwishshewouldhavefalleninlovewithus。Shecouldn’tbearme，couldshe？"

"Ineverheardhersayso，AuntEmily。"

"No;shewouldn’t。Iamsureyourfathersaidso，though。Mydearboy，don’tlooksoshocked。YourfatherandIhatedeachother。

Hesaidso，Isaidso，Isayso;saysotoo。Thenweshallstartfair。——Justacocoanutcake。——Agnes，don’tyouagreethatit’salwaysbesttospeakout？"

"Oh，rather，Mrs。Failing。ButI’mshockinglystraightforward。"

"SoamI，"saidthelady。"Iliketogetdowntothebedrock。——

Hullo！Slippers？Slippersinthedrawingroom？"

Ayoungmanhadcomeinsilently。Agnesobservedwithafeelingofregretthathehadnotshaved。Rickie，afteramoment’shesitation，rememberedwhoitwas，andshookhandswithhim。

You’vegrownsinceIsawyoulast。"

Heshowedhisteethamiably。

"Howlongwasthat？"askedMrs。Failing。

"Threeyears，wasn’tit？CameoverfromtheAnsells——friends。"

"Howdisgraceful，Rickie！Whydon’tyoucomeandseemeoftener？"

Hecouldnotretortthatsheneveraskedhim。

"Agneswillmakeyoucome。Oh，letmeintroduceMr。Wonham——MissPembroke。"

"Iamdeputyhostess，"saidAgnes。"MayIgiveyousometea？"

"Thankyou，butIhavehadalittlebeer。"

"Itisoneoftheshepherds，"saidMrs。Failing，inlowtones。

Agnessmiledratherwildly。Mrs。LewinhadwarnedherthatCadoverwasanextraordinaryplace，andthatonemustneverbeastonishedatanything。Ashepherdinthedrawing—room！Noharm。

Stilloneoughttoknowwhetheritwasashepherdornot。Atalleventshewasingentleman’sclothing。Shewasanxiousnottostartwithablunder，andthereforedidnottalktotheyoungfellow，buttriedtogatherwhathewasfromthedemeanourofRickie。

"Iamsure，Mrs。Failing，thatyouneednottalkof’making’

peoplecometoCadover。Therewillbenodifficulty，Ishouldsay。"

"Thankyou，mydear。Doyouknowwhooncesaidthoseexactwordstome？"

"Who？"

"Rickie’smother。"

"Didshereally？"

"Mysister—in—lawwasadear。YouwillhaveheardRickie’spraises，butnowyoumusthearmine。Ineverknewawomanwhowassounselfishandyethadsuchcapacitiesforlife。"

"Doesonegenerallyexcludetheother？"askedRickie。

"Unselfishpeople，asarule，aredeathlydull。Theyhavenocolour。Theythinkofotherpeoplebecauseitiseasier。Theygivemoneybecausetheyaretoostupidortooidletospenditproperlyonthemselves。Thatwasthebeautyofyourmother——

shegaveaway，butshealsospentonherself，ortriedto。"