第26章

Inaquarterofanhour’stimeMr。Darkjoinedme，anddranktomyhealth，happinessandprosperityinthreeseparatetumblers。

Afterperformingthisceremony，hewaggedhisheadandchuckledwithanappearanceofsuchexcessiveenjoymentthatIcouldnotavoidremarkingonhishighspirits。

"It’sthecase，William——it’sthebeautifulneatnessofthecasethatquiteintoxicatesme。Oh，Lord，whatahappinessitistobeconcernedinsuchajobasthis！"criesMr。Dark，slappinghisstumpyhandsonhisfatkneesinasortofecstasy。

Ihadaverydifferentopinionofthecaseformyownpart，butI

didnotventureonexpressingit。IwastooanxioustoknowhowMr。JamesSmithhadbeendiscoveredandproducedattheexaminationtoenterintoanyarguments。Mr。Darkguessedwhatwaspassinginmymind，and，tellingmetositdownandmakemyselfcomfortable，volunteeredofhisownaccordtoinformmeofallthatIwantedtoknow。

"WhenIgotmyinstructionsandmystatementofparticulars，"hebegan，"IwasnotatallsurprisedtohearthatMr。JamesSmithhadcomeback。（Iprophesiedthat，ifyouremember，William，thelasttimewemet？）ButIwasagooddealastonished，nevertheless，attheturnthingshadtaken，andIcan’tsayI

feltveryhopefulaboutfindingourman。However，Ifollowedmymaster’sdirections，andputtheadvertisementinthepapers。ItaddressedMr。JamesSmithbyname，butitwasverycarefullywordedastowhatwaswantedofhim。Twodaysafteritappeared，alettercametoourofficeinawoman’shandwriting。Itwasmybusinesstoopentheletters，andIopenedthat。Thewriterwasshortandmysterious。Sherequestedthatsomebodywouldcallfromourofficeatacertainaddress，betweenthehoursoftwoandfourthatafternoon，inreferencetotheadvertisementwhichwehadinsertedinthenewspapers。Ofcourse，Iwasthesomebodywhowent。Ikeptmyselffrombuildinguphopesbytheway，knowingwhatalotofMr。JamesSmithstherewereinLondon。Ongettingtothehouse，Iwasshownintothedrawing—room，andthere，dressedinawrapperandlyingonasofa，wasanuncommonlyprettywoman，wholookedasifshewasjustrecoveringfromanillness。Shehadanewspaperbyherside，andcametothepointatonce：’Myhusband’snameisJamesSmith，’shesays，’andI

havemyreasonsforwantingtoknowifheisthepersonyouareinsearchof。’IdescribedourmanasMr。JamesSmith，ofDarrockHall，Cumberland。’Iknownosuchperson，’saysshe——"

"What！wasitnotthesecondwife，afterall？"Ibrokeout。

"Waitabit，"saysMr。Dark。"Imentionedthenameoftheyachtnext，andshestarteduponthesofaasifshehadbeenshot。’I

thinkyouweremarriedinScotland，ma’am，’saysI。Sheturnsaspaleasashes，anddropsbackonthesofa，andsays，faintly：’Itismyhusband。Oh，sir，whathashappened？Whatdoyouwantwithhim？Isheindebt？’Itookaminutetothink，andthenmadeupmymindtotellhereverything，feelingthatshewouldkeepherhusband（asshecalledhim）outofthewayifIfrightenedherbyanymysteries。AnicejobIhad，William，asyoumaysuppose，whensheknewaboutthebigamybusiness。Whatwithscreaming，fainting，crying，andblowingmeup（asif_I_wastoblame！），shekeptmebythatsofaofhersthebestpartofanhour——keptmethere，inshort，tillMr。JamesSmithhimselfcameback。I

leaveyoutojudgeifthatmendedmatters。Hefoundmemoppingthepoorwoman’stempleswithscentandwater；andhewouldhavepitchedmeoutofthewindow，assureasIsithere，ifIhadnotmethimandstaggeredhimatoncewiththechargeofmurderagainsthiswife。Thatstoppedhimwhenhewasinfullcry，Icanpromiseyou。’Goandwaitinthenextroom，’sayshe，’andI’llcomeinandspeaktoyoudirectly。’"

"Anddidyougo？"Iasked。

"OfcourseIdid，"saidMr。Dark。"Iknewhecouldn’tgetoutbythedrawing—roomwindows，andIknewIcouldwatchthedoor；soawayIwent，leavinghimalonewiththelady，whodidn’tsparehimbyanymannerofmeans，asIcouldeasilyhearinthenextroom。However，allrowsinthisworldcometoanendsoonerorlater，andamanwithanybrainsinhisheadmaydowhathepleaseswithawomanwhoisfondofhim。BeforelongIheardhercryingandkissinghim。’Ican’tgohome，’shesays，afterthis。

’Youhavebehavedlikeavillainandamonstertome——butoh，Jemmy，Ican’tgiveyouuptoanybody！Don’tgobacktoyourwife！Oh，don’t，don’tgobacktoyourwife！’’Nofearofthat，’

sayshe。’Mywifewouldn’thavemeifIdidgobacktoher。’

AfterthatIheardthedooropen，andwentouttomeethimonthelanding。Hebeganswearingthemomenthesawme，asifthatwasanygood。’Businessfirst，ifyouplease，sir，’saysI，’andanypleasureyoulike，inthewayofswearing，afterward。’Withthatbeginning，Imentionedourtermstohim，andaskedthepleasureofhiscompanytoCumberlandinreturn，hewasuncommonlysuspiciousatfirst，butIpromisedtodrawoutalegaldocument（merewastepaper，ofnoearthlyuseexcepttopacifyhim），engagingtoholdhimharmlessthroughouttheproceedings；andwhatwiththat，andtellinghimofthefrightfuldangerhiswifewasin，Imanaged，atlast，tocarrymypoint。"

"Butdidthesecondwifemakenoobjectiontohisgoingawaywithyou？"Iinquired。

"Notshe，"saidMr。Dark。"Istatedthecasetoherjustasitstood，andsoonsatisfiedherthattherewasnodangerofMr。

JamesSmith’sfirstwifelayinganyclaimtohim。Afterhearingthat，shejoinedmeinpersuadinghimtodohisduty，andsaidshepitiedyourmistressfromthebottomofherheart。Withherinfluencetobackme，Ihadnogreatfearofourmanchanginghismind。Ihadthedoorwatchedthatnight，however，soastomakequitesureofhim。ThenextmorninghewasreadytotimewhenI

called，andaquarterofanhourafterthatwewereofftogetherforthenorthroad。Wemadethejourneywithpost—horses，beingafraidofchancepassengers，youknow，inpublicconveyances。Onthewaydown，Mr。JamesSmithandIgotonascomfortablytogetherasifwehadbeenapairofoldfriends。ItoldthestoryofourtracinghimtothenorthofScotland，andhegavemetheparticulars，inreturn，ofhisboltingfromDarrockHall。

Theyareratheramusing，William；wouldyouliketohearthem？"

ItoldMr。DarkthathehadanticipatedtheveryquestionIwasabouttoaskhim。

"Well，"hesaid，"thisishowitwas：Tobeginatthebeginning，ourmanreallytookMrs。Smith，NumberTwo，totheMediterranean，asweheard。HesaileduptheSpanishcoast，and，aftershorttripsashore，stoppedataseasideplaceinFrancecalledCannes。

TherehesawahouseandgroundstobesoldwhichtookhisfancyasaniceretiredplacetokeepNumberTwoin。Nothingparticularwaswantedbutthemoneytobuyit；and，nothavingthelittleamountinhisownpossession，Mr。JamesSmithmakesavirtueofnecessity，andgoesbackoverlandtohiswifewithprivatedesignsonherpurse—strings。NumberTwo，whoobjectstobeleftbehind，goeswithhimasfarasLondon。Therehetrumpsupthefirststorythatcomesintohisheadaboutrentsinthecountry，andahouseinLincolnshirethatistoodampforhertotrustherselfin；andso，leavingherforafewdaysinLondon，startsboldlyforDarrockHall。Hisnotionwastowheedleyourmistressoutofthemoneybygoodbehavior；butitseemshestartedbadlybyquarrelingwithheraboutafiddle—playingparson——"

"Yes，yes，Iknowallaboutthatpartofthestory，"Ibrokein，seeingbyMr。Dark’smannerthathewaslikelytospeakbothignorantlyandimpertinentlyofmymistress’sunluckyfriendshipforMr。Meeke。"GoontothetimewhenIleftmymasteraloneintheRedRoom，andtellmewhathedidbetweenmidnightandninethenextmorning。"

"Did？"saidMr。Dark。"Why，hewenttobedwiththeunpleasantconvictiononhismindthatyourmistresshadfoundhimout，andwithnocomforttospeakofexceptwhathecouldgetoutofthebrandybottle。Hecouldn’tsleep；andthemorehetossedandtumbled，themorecertainhefeltthathiswifeintendedtohavehimtriedforbigamy。Atlast，towardthegrayofthemorning，hecouldstanditnolonger，andhemadeuphismindtogivethelawtheslipwhilehehadthechance。Assoonashewasdressed，itstruckhimthattheremightbearewardofferedforcatchinghim，andhedeterminedtomakethatslightchangeinhispersonalappearancewhichpuzzledthewitnessessomuchbeforethemagistrateto—day。Soheopenshisdressing—caseandcropshishairinnotime，andtakesoffhiswhiskersnext。Thefirewasout，andhehadtoshaveincoldwater。Whatwiththat，andwhatwiththeflurryofhismind，naturallyenoughhecuthimself——"

"Anddriedthebloodwithhisnightgown？"saysI。

"Withhisnightgown，"repeatedMr。Dark。"Itwasthefirstthingtha

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