第37章

TenminuteslaterG。SeldenwaswalkingdownFifthAvenue，wonderingiftherewasanychanceofhisbeingarrestedbyapolicemanuponthechargethathewasreeling，insteadofwalkingsteadily。Hehopedheshouldgetbacktothehallbedroomsafely。NickBaumgartenandJemBolterboth"roomed"inthehousewithhim。Hecouldtellthemboth。ItwasJemwhohadmadeuptheyarnaboutoneofthemsavingReubenS。Vanderpoel’slife。Therehadbeennolife—saving，butthethinghadcometrue。

"But，ifithadn’tbeenforLordMountDunstan，"hesaid，thinkingitoverexcitedly，"IshouldneverhaveseenMissVanderpoel，and，ifithadn’tbeenforMissVanderpoel，IshouldneverhavegotnexttoReubenS。inmylife。BothsidesoftheAtlanticOceangotbusytodoagoodturntoLittleWillie。Hullygee！"

InhisstudyMr。VanderpoelwasrereadingBetty’sletters。

HefeltthathehadgainedacertainknowledgeofLordMountDunstan。

CHAPTERXXXIX

ONTHEMARSHES

THEmarshesstretchedmellowintheautumnsun，sheepwanderedabout，nibblingcontentedly，orlaydowntorestingroups，theskyreflectingitselfinthenarrowdykesgaveabluecolourtothewater，ascentoftheseawasintheairasonebreathedit，flocksofploverrose，nowandthen，cryingsoftly。Betty，walkingwithherdog，hadpassedaheronstandingattheedgeofapool。

Fromherfirstdiscoveryofthem，shehadbeenattractedbythemarsheswiththeirEnglishsuggestionoftheRomanCampagna，theirbroadexpanseoflevellandspreadouttothesunandwind，thethousandsofwhitesheepdottedorclusteredasfaraseyecouldreach，thehuesofthemarshgrassandtheplantsgrowingthickatthebordersofthestripsofwater。Itsbeautywasallitsownandcuriouslyalooffromthesoftly—

wooded，undulatingworldaboutit。Drivingorwalkingalongthehighroad——theroadtheRomanshadbuilttoLondontownlongcenturiesago——oneithersideofoneweremeadows，farms，scatteredcottages，andhopgardens，butbeyondandbelowstretchedthemarshland，goldenandgrey，andalwaysalluringonebyitssilence。

"Ineverpassitwithoutwantingtogotoit——totakesolitarywalksoverit，tobeoneofthespotsonitasthesheepare。Itseemsasif，lyingthereundertheblueskyorthelowgreycloudswithalltheworldheldatbaybymerespaceandstillness，theymustfeelsomethingweknownothingof。Iwanttogoandfindoutwhatitis。"

ThisshehadoncesaidtoMountDunstan。

Soshehadfallenintothehabitofwalkingtherewithherdogathersideashersolecompanion，forhavingneedfortimeandspaceforthought，shehadfoundtheminthesilenceandaloofness。

Lifehadbeenavividandpleasurablethingtoher，asfarasshecouldlookbackuponit。Shebegantorealisethatshemusthavebeenveryhappy，becauseshehadneverfoundherselfdesiringexistenceotherthansuchashadcometoherdaybyday。ExceptforherpassionatechildishregretatRosy’smarriage，shehadexperiencednopainfulfeeling。Infact，shehadfacednohurtinherlife，andcertainlyhadbeenconfrontedbynolimitations。Arguingthatgirlsintheirteensusuallyfallinlove，herfatherhadoccasionallywonderedthatshepassedthroughnolittleepisodesofsentiment，butthefactwasthatherinterestshadbeenlargerandmorenumerousthantheinterestsofgirlsgenerallyare，andheraffectionateintimacywithhimselfhadleftnosuchsmallvacantspacesasarefrequentlyfilledbyunimportantyoungemotions。Becauseshewasalogicalcreature，andhadwatchedlifeandthoselivingitwithclearandinterestedeyes，shehadnotbeenblindtothepathwhichhadmarkeditselfbeforeherduringthesummer’sgrowthandwaning。Shehadnot，atfirst，perhaps，knownexactlywhenthingsbegantochangeforher——whentheclarityofhermindbegantobedisturbed。Shehadthoughtinthebeginning——aspeoplehaveahabitofdoing——thataninstance——aproblem——asituationhadattractedherattentionbecauseitwasabsorbingenoughtothinkover。Herviewofthematterhadbeenthatasthesamethingwouldhaveinterestedherfather，ithadinterestedherself。ButfromthemorningwhenshehadbeenconsciousofthesuddenfuryrousedinherbyNigelAnstruthers’uglysneeratMountDunstan，shehadbetterunderstoodthethingwhichhadcomeuponher。Daybydayithadincreasedandgatheredpower，andsherealisedwithacertainsenseofimpatiencethatshehadnotinanydegreeunderstooditwhenshehadseenandwonderedatitseffectonotherwomen。Eachdayhadbeenlikeawaveencroachingfartherupontheshoreshestoodupon。Attheoutsetacertainignoblepride——sheknewitignoble——filledherwithrebellion。Shehadseensomuchofthiskindofsituation，andhadheardsomuchofthegeneralcomment。Peoplehadlearnedhowtosneerbecauseexperiencehadtaughtthem。Ifshegavethemcause，whyshouldtheynotsneeratherasatthings？Sherecalledwhatshehadherselfthoughtofsuchthings——thefollyofthem，theobviousness——thealmostdeserveddisaster。Shehadarrogatedtoherselfjudgmentofwomen——andmen——whomight，yes，whomighthavestoodupontheirstripofsand，asshestood，withthewavescreepingin，eachonehigher，stronger，andmoreengulfingthanthelast。Theremighthavebeenthoseamongthemwhoalsohadknowledgeofthatsuddendeadlyjoyatthesightofoneface，atthedropofonevoice。Whenthatwavesubmergedone’spulsingbeing，whathadtheworldtodowithone——howcouldonehearandthinkofwhatitsspeechmightbe？Itsvoiceclamouredtoofaroff。

Asshewalkedacrossthemarshshewasthinkingthisfirstphaseover。Shehadreachedanewone，andatfirstshelookedbackwithafaint，evenratherhard，smile。Shewalkedstraightahead，hermastiff，Roland，paddingalongheavilycloseatherside。Howstillandwideandgoldenitwas；howthecryofploverandliftingtrillofskylarkassuredonethatonewaswhollyencircledbysolitudeandspacewhichweremoreenclosingthananywalls！ShewasgoingtothemoundstowhichMr。PenzancehadtrundledG。Seldenintheponychaise，whenhehadgivenhimthemarvelloushourwhichhadbroughtRomancampandRomanlegionstolifeagain。Uponthelargesthillockonecouldsitenthroned，restingchininhandandlookingoutunderlevellidsattheunstirring，softly—livinglovelinessofthemarsh—landworld。Soshewaspresentlyseated，withherheavy—limbedRolandatherfeet。Shehadcomeheretotrytoputthingsclearlytoherself，toplanwithsuchreasonasshecouldcontrol。Shehadbeguntobeunhappy，shehadbegun——withsomeunfairness——tolookbackupontheBettyVanderpoelofthepastasanunwittinglyself—sufficientyoungwoman，tofindherselfsuddenlyentangledbythings，eventoknowatouchofdesperateness。

"Nottotakearemnantfromtheducalbargaincounter，"

shewassayingmentally。Thatwaswhyhersmilewasalittlehard。Whatiftheremnantfromtheducalbargaincounterhadprejudicesofhisown？

"Ifhewerepassionately——passionatelyinlovewithme，"shesaid，withredstaininghercheeks，"hewouldnotcome——hewouldnotcome——hewouldnotcome。And，becauseofthat，heismoretome——MORE！Andmorehewillbecomeeveryday——andthemorestronglyhewillholdme。Andtherewestand。"

Rolandliftedhisfineheadfromhispaws，and，holdingiterectonastiff，strongneck，staredatherinobviousinquiry。

Sheputoutherhandandtenderlypattedhim。

"Hewillhavenoneofme，"shesaid。"Hewillhavenoneofme。"Andshefaintlysmiled，butthenextinstantshookherheadalittlehaughtily，and，havingdoneso，lookeddownwithanalteredexpressionupontheclothofherskirt，becauseshehadshakenuponit，fromtheextravagantlashes，twocleardrops。

Itwasnottheresultofchancethatshehadseennothingofhimforweeks。Shehadnotattemptedtopersuadeherselfofthat。TwicehehaddeclinedaninvitationtoStornham，andoncehehadriddenpastherontheroadwhenhemighthavestoppedtoexchangegreetings，orhaveriddenonbyherside。

Hedidnotmeantoseemtodesire，eversolightly，tobecountedasinthelists。Whetherhewasdrawnbyanylikingforherornot，itwasplainhehaddeterminedonthis。

Ifsheweretogoawaynow，theywouldnevermeetagain。

Theirwaysinthisworldwouldpartforever。Shewouldnotkno

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