第53章

Also，inthedarknessthehalf-slumberingseacouldbeheardsoughingasitcrepttowardstheshorewhileovertheskylayacanopyofmist，saveatthepointwherethemoon’sopal-likeblurcouldbedescriedoverthespotwherethatblur’scounterfeitimageglitteredandrockedonthesurfaceofthedarkwaters。

UnderthetreestherewassetabenchwhereonIcoulddiscerntheretoberestingahumanfigure。Approachingthefigure，I

seatedmyselfbesideit。

“Whence，comrade？“wasmyinquiry。

“FromVoronezh。Andyou？“

ARussianisneveradversetotalkingabouthimself。Itwouldseemasthoughheisneversureofhispersonality，asthoughheiseveryearningtohavethatpersonalityconfirmedfromsomesourceotherthan，extraneousto，hisownego。ThereasonforthismustbethatweRussianslivediffusedoveralandofsuchvastnessthat，themorewegrasptheimmensityofthesame，thesmallerdowecometoappearinourowneyes；wherefore，traversing，aswedo，roadsofalengthofathousandversts，andconstantlylosingourway，wecometoletslipnoopportunityofrestatingourselves，andsettingforthallthatwehaveseenandthoughtanddone。

Hence，too，mustitbethatinconversationsoneseemstohearlessofthenoteof“IamI“thanofthenoteof“AmIreallyandtrulymyself？“

“Whatmaybeyourname？“nextIinquiredofthefigureonthebench。

“Anameofabsolutesimplicity——thenameofAlexeiKalinin。“

“Youareanamesakeofmine，then。“

“Indeed？Isthatso？“

Withwhich，tappingmeontheknee，thefigureadded:

“Come，then，namesake。’Ihavemortar，andyouhavewater，sotogetherletuspaintthetown。’“

Murmuringamidthesilencecouldbeheardsmall，lightwavesthatwerenomorethanripples。Behindusthebusyclamourofthemonasteryhaddieddown，andevenKalinin’scheeryvoiceseemedsubduedbytheinfluenceofthenight——itseemedtohaveinitlessofthenoteofself-confidence。

“Mymotherwasawet-nurse，“hewentontovolunteer，andIheronlychild。WhenIwastwelveyearsofageIwas，owingtomyheight，convertedintoafootman。Ithappenedthus。Oneday，onGeneralStepan(mymother’sthenemployer)happeningtocatchsightofme，heexclaimed:’Evgenia，goandtellFedor’(theex-soldierwhowasthenservingtheGeneralasfootman)’thatheistoteachyoursontowaitattable！Theboyisatleasttallenoughforthework。’AndfornineyearsIservedtheGeneralinthiscapacity。Andthen，andthen——oh，THENIwasseizedwithanillness……Next，Iobtainedapostunderamerchantwhowasthenmayorofourtown，andstayedwithhimtwenty-onemonths。

AndnextIobtainedasituationinanhotelatKharkov，andhelditforayear。AndafterthatIkeptchangingmyplaces，for，steadyandsoberthoughIwas，Iwasbeginningtolacktasteformyprofession，andtodevelopaspiritofthekindwhichdeemedallworktobebeneath

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