第20章

HereVologonovlowershisvoice，andcontinueswithsomethingofthegrowlofanangrydog:

“Itoohavehadsons，oneofwhomwaskilledatKushka(adocumenthascertifiedtothateffect)，anotherwasdrownedwhilstdrunk，threemorediedininfancy，andonlytwoarestillalive。Oftheselast，IknowthatoneisactingasawaiterinahotelatSmolensk，whiletheother，Melenti，waseducatedfortheChurch，senttostudyinaseminary，inducedtoabscondandgetintotrouble，andeventuallydispatchedtoSiberia。Therenow！Yes，theRussianiswhatmightbecalleda’lightweighted’

individual，anindividualwho，unlessheholdshimselfdownbythehead，issooncarriedoffbythewindlikeachicken’sfeather——forwearetooself-confidentandrestless。Beforenow，Imyselfhavebeenagull，amanlackingbalance:forneverdoesyouthrealiseitsowninsignificance，orknowhowtowait。“

Dissertationsofthekinddropfromtheoldmanlikewaterfromaleakypipeonacold，blusterydayinautumn。Wagginghisgreybeard，hetalksandtalks，untilIbegintothinkthathemustbeanevilwizard，andmasterofthisremote，barren，swampy，ravine-pittedregion——thatheitiswhooriginallyplantedthetowninthisuncomfortable，clayeyhollow，andhasthrownthehousesintoheaps，andentangledthestreets，andwantonlycreatedthetown’sunaccountablyrudeandroughanddeadlyexistence，andaddledmen’sbrainswithdisconnectednonsense，andconsumedtheirheartswithafearoflife。Yes，itcomestomethatitmustbehewho，duringthelongsixmonthsofwinter，causescruelsnowstormsfromtheplaintoinvadethetown，andwithfrostcompressesthebuildingsofthetownuntiltheirrafterscrack，andstingingcoldbringsbirdstotheground。

Lastly，Ibecomeseizedwiththeideathatitmustbehewho，almosteverysummer，envelopsthetowninthoseterriblevisitationsofheatbynightwhichseemalmosttocausethehousestomelt。

However，asarulehemaintainscompletesilence，andmerelymakeschewingmotionswithhisstrong-toothedjawsashesitswagginghisbeardfromsidetoside。Atsuchtimesthereisinhiseyesabluishfirelikethegleamofcharcoal，whilehiscrookedfingerswrithelikeworms，andhisoutwardappearancebecomessheerlythatofamagicianofiniquity。

OnceIaskedhim:

“Whatinparticularoughtmentowaitfor？“

Forawhilehesatclaspinghisbeard，and，withcontractedeyes，gazingasatsomethingbehindme。Thenhesaidquietlyanddidactically:

“SomedaytherewillariseaStrangeManwhowillproclaimtotheworldtheWordtowhichthereneverwasabeginning。ButtowhichofusisthehourwhenthatManwillariseknown？Tononeofus……AndtowhichofusareknownthemiracleswhichthatWordwillperform？Tononeofus。“

Onceuponatimethereusedtoglidepastthewindowofmyroomthefair，curly，wavering，goldenheadofNilushkatheidiot，aladlookinglikeathingwhichtheearthhasbegottenoflove。

Yes，Nilushkawaslikeanangelinsomesacredpictureadorningthesouthernorthenortherngatesofanancientchurch，as，withhisflushedfacesmearedwithwax-smokeandoil，andhislightblueeyesgleaminginacold，unearthlysmile，andaframecladinaredsmockreachingtobelowhisknees，andthesolesofhisfeetshowingblack(alwayshewalkedontiptoe)，andhisthincalves，asstraightandwhiteasthecalvesofawoman，coveredwithgoldendown，hewalkedthestreets。

Sometimeshoppingalongononeleg，andsmiling，andwavinghisarms，andcausingtheamplefoldsandsleevesofhissmocktoflutteruntilheseemedtobemovinginthemidstofanimbus，Nilushkawouldsinginahaltingwhisperthechildishditty:

0hLo-ord，pardonme！

Wo-olvesrun，Anddo-ogsrun，AndthehunterswaitTokillthewolves。

0hLo-ord，pardonme！

Meanwhile，hewoulddiffuseacheeringatmosphereofhappinesswithwhichnooneinthelocalityhadanythingincommon。Forhewaseveralighthearted，winning，essentiallypureinnocentofthetypewhichneverfailstoevokegood-naturedsmilesandkindlyemotions。Indeed，asheroamedthestreets，thesuburbseemedtoliveitslifewithlessclamour，toappearmoredecentofoutwardguise，sincethelocalfolklookedupontheimbecilewithfarmoreindulgencethantheydidupontheirownchildren；

andhewasintimatewith，andbelovedby，eventheworst。

Probablythereasonforthiswasthatthesemblanceofflightamidanatmosphereofgoldendustwhichwashiscombinedwithhisstraight，slenderlittlefiguretoputallwhobeheldhiminmindofchurches，angels，God，andParadise。Atallevents，allviewedhiminamannercontemplative，interested，andmorethanalittledeferential。

AcuriousfactwasthecircumstancethatwheneverNilushkasightedastraygleamfromapieceofglass，ortheglitterofamorselofcopperinsunlight，hewouldhaltdeadwherehewas，turngreywiththeashinessofdeath，losehissmile，andremaindilatingtoanunnaturalextenthiscloudedandtroubledeyes。

Andso，withhiswholeformdistortedwithhorror，andhisthinhandcrossinghimself，andhiskneestrembling，andhissmockflutteringaroundhisfrailwispofabody，andhisfeaturesgrowingstonelike，hewould，foranhourormore，continuetostand，untilatlengthsomeonelaidahandinhis，andledhimhome。

Thetalehaditthat，inthefirstinstance，born“soft-headed，“

hefinallylosthisreason，fiveyearsbeforetheperiodofwhichIamwriting，whenagreatfireoccurred，andthatthenceforthanything，savesunlight，thatinanywayresembledfireplungedhimintothistorporofdumbdread。

Naturallythepeopleofthesuburbdevotedtohimagreatdealofattention。

“TheregoesGod’sfool，“wouldbetheirremark。“ItwillnotbelongbeforehediesandbecomesaSaint，andwefalldownandworshiphim。“

Yettherewerepersonswhowouldgosofarastocrackrudejestsathisexpense。Forinstance，ashewouldbeskippingalong，withhischildishvoiceraisedinhislittleditty，someidleroranotherwouldshoutfromawindow，orthroughthecrannyofafence:

“Hi，Nilushka！Fire！Fire！“

Whereupontheangel-facedimbecilewouldsinktoearthasthoughhislegshadbeencutawayatthekneefromunderhim，andhewouldhuddle，franticallyclutchinghisgoldenheadinhispermanentlysoiledhands，andexposinghisyouthfulformtothedust，underthenearesthouseorfence。

Onlythenwouldthepersonwhohadgivenhimthefrightrepent，andsaywithalaugh:

“Godinheaven，whatastupidladthisis！“

And，shouldthatpersonhavebeenaskedwhyhehadthusterrifiedtheboy，hewouldprobablyhavereplied:

“Becauseitissuchsporttodoso。Asaladwhocannotfeelthingsasotherhumanbeingsdo，heinclinesfolktomakefunofhim。“

AsfortheomniscientAntipaVologonov，thefollowingwashisfrequentcommentonNilushka:

“Christalsohadtowalkinterror。Christalsowaspersecuted。

Whyso？BecauseeverHeenduredinrectitudeandstrength。Menneedtolearnwhatisrealandwhatisunreal。Manyarethesinsofearthcomeofthefactthattheseemingismistakenfortheactual，andthatmenkeeppressingforwardwhentheyoughttobewaiting，tobeprovingthemselves。“

HenceVologonov，liketherest，bestowedmuchattentionuponNilushka，andfrequentlyheldconversationswithhim。

“DoyounowpraytoGod，“hesaidonceashepointedtoheavenwithoneofhiscrookedfingers，andwiththedisengagedhandclaspedhisdishevelled，variouslycolouredbeard。

WhereuponNilushkaglancedfearfullyatthemysteriouslypointingfinger，and，pluckingsharplyathisforehead，shoulders，andstomachwithtwofingersandathumb，intonedinthin，plaintiveaccents:

“OurFatherinHeaven——“

“WHICHARTinHeaven。“

“Yes，intheHeavenofHeavens。“

“Ah，well！Godwillunderstand。Heisthefriendofallblessedones。“[Idiots；sincepersonsmentallydeficientarepopularlydeemedtostandinapeculiarlycloserelationtotheAlmighty。]

Again，greatwasNilushka’sinterestinanythingspherical。

Also，hehadaloveforhandlingtheheadsofchildren；when，softlyapproachingagroupfrombehind，hewould，withhisbright，quietsmile，layslender，bonyfingersuponaclose-croppedlittlepoll；withtheresultthatthechildren，notrelishingsuchfingering，wouldtakealarmatthesame，and，boltingtoadiscreetdistance，thenceabusetheidiot，putouttheirtonguesathim，anddrawlinanasalchorus:

“Nilka，thebottle-neck，theneckwithoutanapetoit“

[ProbablytheattractivenessofthisformulalayratherintherhymingoftheRussianwords:“Nilka，butilka，bashkabezzatilka！“thanintheiractualmeaning]。