The Wrecker

第27章

IlovetorecallthegladmonotonyofaPacificvoyage,whenthetradesarenotstinted,andtheship,dayafterday,goesfree。

Themountainsceneryoftrade-windclouds,watched(andinmycasepainted)undereveryvicissitudeoflight——blottingstars,witheringinthemoon’sglory,barringthescarleteve,lyingacrossthedawncollapsedintotheunfeaturedmorningbank,oratnoonraisingtheirsnowysummitsbetweentheblueroofofheavenandthebluefloorofsea;thesmall,busy,anddeliberateworldoftheschooner,withitsunfamiliarscenes,thespearingofdolphinfromthebowspritend,theholywaronsharks,thecookmakingbreadonthemainhatch;reefingdownbeforeaviolentsquall,withthemenhangingoutonthefoot-ropes;thesquallitself,thecatchattheheart,theopenedsluicesofthesky;andtherelief,therenewedlovelinessoflife,whenallisover,thesunforthagain,andourout-foughtenemyonlyablotupontheleewardsea。Ilovetorecall,andwouldthatIcouldreproducethatlife,theunforgettable,theunrememberable。Thememory,whichshowssowiseabackwardnessinregisteringpain,isbesidesanimperfectrecorderofextendedpleasures;

andalong-continuedwell-beingescapes(asitwere,byitsmass)ourpettymethodsofcommemoration。Onapartofourlife’smapthereliesaroseate,undecipherablehaze,andthatisall。

Ofonething,ifIamatalltotrustmyownannals,Iwasdelightedlyconscious。Dayafterday,inthesun-gildedcabin,thewhiskey-dealer’sthermometerstoodat84。Dayafterday,theairhadthesameindescribablelivelinessandsweetness,softandnimble,andcoolasthecheekofhealth。Dayafterdaythesunflamed;nightafternightthemoonbeaconed,orthestarsparadedtheirlustrousregiment。Iwasawareofaspiritualchange,or,perhaps,ratheramolecularreconstitution。

Mybonesweresweetertome。Ihadcomehometomyownclimate,andlookedbackwithpityonthosedampandwintryzones,miscalledthetemperate。

“Twoyearsofthis,andcomfortablequarterstolivein,kindofshakethegritoutofaman。”thecaptainremarked;“can’tmakeouttobehappyanywhereelse。Atownieofminewaslostdownthisway,inacoalshipthattookfireatsea。HestruckthebeachsomewhereintheNavigators;andhewrotetomethatwhenhelefttheplace,itwouldbefeetfirst。He’swelloff,too,andhisfatherownssomecoastingcraftDownEast;butBillyprefersthebeach,andhotrollsoffthebread-fruittrees。”

AvoicetoldmeIwasonthesametrackasBilly。Butwhenwasthis?OuroutwardtrackintheNorahCreinalaywelltothenorthward;andperhapsitisbuttheimpressionofafewpetdayswhichIhaveunconsciouslyspreadlonger,orperhapsthefeelinggrewuponmelater,intheruntoHonolulu。OnethingI

amsure:itwasbeforeIhadeverseenanislandworthyofthenamethatImustdatemyloyaltytotheSouthSeas。Theblankseaitselfgrewdesirableundersuchskies;andwhereverthetrade-windblows,Iknownobettercountrythanaschooner’sdeck。

Butforthetugginganxietyastothejourney’send,thejourneyitselfmustthushavecountedforthebestofholidays。Myphysicalwell-beingwasover-proof;effectsofseaandskykeptmeforeverbusywithmypencil;andIhadnolackofintellectualexerciseofadifferentorderinthestudyofmyinconsistentfriend,thecaptain。Icallhimfriend,hereonthethreshold;butthatistolookwellahead。Atfirst,IwastoomuchhorrifiedbywhatIconsideredhisbarbarities,toomuchpuzzledbyhisshiftinghumours,andtoofrequentlyannoyedbyhissmallvanities,toregardhimotherwisethanasthecrossofmyexistence。Itwasonlybydegrees,inhisrarehoursofpleasantness,whenheforgot(andmademeforget)theweaknessestowhichhewassoprone,thathewonmetoakindofunconsentingfondness。Lastly,thefaultswereallembracedinamoregenerousview:Isawthemintheirplace,likediscordsinamusicalprogression;andacceptedthemandfoundthempicturesque,asweacceptandadmire,inthehabitablefaceofnature,thesmokyheadofthevolcanoortheperniciousthicketoftheswamp。

HewascomeofgoodpeopleDownEast,andhadthebeginningsofathorougheducation。Histemperhadbeenungovernablefromthefirst;anditislikelythedefectwasinherited,andtheblameoftherupturenotentirelyhis。Heranawayatleasttosea;sufferedhorriblemaltreatment,whichseemedtohaveratherhardenedthanenl

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