第14章

“Wehavetohavefaithinourvision，“Mrs。Hilberyresumed，glancingatthefigures，whichdistressedhervaguely，andhadsomeconnectioninhermindwiththehouseholdaccounts，“otherwise，asyousay——“Shecastalightningglanceintothedepthsofdisillusionmentwhichwere，perhaps，notaltogetherunknowntoher。

“Believeme，Katharine，it\'sthesameforeveryone——forme，too——foryourfather，“shesaidearnestly，andsighed。Theylookedtogetherintotheabyssand，astheelderofthetwo，sherecoveredherselffirstandasked:

“ButwhereisRalph？Whyisn\'theheretoseeme？“

Katharine\'sexpressionchangedinstantly。

“Becausehe\'snotallowedtocomehere，“sherepliedbitterly。

Mrs。Hilberybrushedthisaside。

“Wouldtherebetimetosendforhimbeforeluncheon？“sheasked。

Katharinelookedatherasif，indeed，sheweresomemagician。Oncemoreshefeltthatinsteadofbeingagrownwoman，usedtoadviseandcommand，shewasonlyafootortworaisedabovethelonggrassandthelittleflowersandentirelydependentuponthefigureofindefinitesizewhoseheadwentupintothesky，whosehandwasinhers，forguidance。

“I\'mnothappywithouthim，“shesaidsimply。

Mrs。Hilberynoddedherheadinamannerwhichindicatedcompleteunderstanding，andtheimmediateconceptionofcertainplansforthefuture。Shesweptupherflowers，breathedintheirsweetness，and，hummingalittlesongaboutamiller\'sdaughter，lefttheroom。

ThecaseuponwhichRalphDenhamwasengagedthatafternoonwasnotapparentlyreceivinghisfullattention，andyettheaffairsofthelateJohnLeakeofDublinweresufficientlyconfusedtoneedallthecarethatasolicitorcouldbestowuponthem，ifthewidowLeakeandthefiveLeakechildrenoftenderageweretoreceiveanypittanceatall。ButtheappealtoRalph\'shumanityhadlittlechanceofbeingheardto-day；hewasnolongeramodelofconcentration。Thepartitionsocarefullyerectedbetweenthedifferentsectionsofhislifehadbeenbrokendown，withtheresultthatthoughhiseyeswerefixeduponthelastWillandTestament，hesawthroughthepageacertaindrawing-roominCheyneWalk。

Hetriedeverydevicethathadprovedeffectiveinthepastforkeepingupthepartitionsofthemind，untilhecoulddecentlygohome；butalittletohisalarmhefoundhimselfassailedsopersistently，asiffromoutside，byKatharine，thathelaunchedforthdesperatelyintoanimaginaryinterviewwithher。Sheobliteratedabookcasefulloflawreports，andthecornersandlinesoftheroomunderwentacurioussofteningofoutlinelikethatwhichsometimesmakesaroomunfamiliaratthemomentofwakingfromsleep。Bydegrees，apulseorstressbegantobeatatregularintervalsinhismind，heapinghisthoughtsintowavestowhichwordsfittedthemselves，andwithoutmuchconsciousnessofwhathewasdoing，hebegantowriteonasheetofdraftpaperwhathadtheappearanceofapoemlackingseveralwordsineachline。Notmanylineshadbeensetdown，however，beforehethrewawayhispenasviolentlyasifthatwereresponsibleforhismisdeeds，andtorethepaperintomanyseparatepieces。ThiswasasignthatKatharinehadassertedherselfandputtohimaremarkthatcouldnotbemetpoetically。Herremarkwasentirelydestructiveofpoetry，sinceitwastotheeffectthatpoetryhadnothingwhatevertodowithher；allherfriendsspenttheirlivesinmakingupphrases，shesaid；allhisfeelingwasanillusion，andnextmoment，asiftotaunthimwithhisimpotence，shehadsunkintooneofthosedreamystateswhichtooknoaccountwhateverofhisexistence。RalphwasrousedbyhispassionateattemptstoattractherattentiontothefactthathewasstandinginthemiddleofhislittleprivateroominLincoln\'sInnFieldsataconsiderabledistancefromChelsea。Thephysicaldistanceincreasedhisdesperation。Hebeganpacingincirclesuntiltheprocesssickenedhim，andthentookasheetofpaperforthecompositionofaletterwhich，hevowedbeforehebeganit，shouldbesentthatsameevening。

Itwasadifficultmattertoputintowords；poetrywouldhavedoneitbetterjustice，buthemustabstainfrompoetry。Inaninfinitenumberofhalf-obliteratedscratcheshetriedtoconveytoherthepossibilitythatalthoughhumanbeingsarewoefullyill-adaptedforcommunication，still，suchcommunionisthebestweknow；moreover，theymakeitpossibleforeachtohaveaccesstoanotherworldindependentofpersonalaffairs，aworldoflaw，ofphilosophy，ormorestrangelyaworldsuchashehadhadaglimpseoftheothereveningwhentogethertheyseemedtobesharingsomething，creatingsomething，anideal——avisionflungoutinadvanceofouractualcircumstances。Ifthisgoldenrimwerequenched，iflifewerenolongercircledbyanillusion(butwasitanillusionafterall？)，thenitwouldbetoodismalanaffairtocarrytoanend；sohewrotewithasuddenspurtofconvictionwhichmadeclearwayforaspaceandleftatleastonesentencestandingwhole。Makingeveryallowanceforotherdesires，onthewholethisconclusionappearedtohimtojustifytheirrelationship。Buttheconclusionwasmystical；itplungedhimintothought。Thedifficultywithwhicheventhisamountwaswritten，theinadequacyofthewords，andtheneedofwritingunderthemandoverthemotherswhich，afterall，didnobetter，ledhimtoleaveoffbeforehewasatailsatisfiedwithhisproduction，andunabletoresisttheconvictionthatsuchramblingwouldneverbefitforKatharine\'seye。Hefelthimselfmorecutofffromherthanever。Inidleness，andbecausehecoulddonothingfurtherwithwords，hebegantodrawlittlefiguresintheblankspaces，headsmeanttoresembleherhead，blotsfringedwithflamesmeanttorepresent——perhapstheentireuniverse。Fromthisoccupationhewasrousedbythemessagethataladywishedtospeaktohim。Hehadscarcelytimetorunhishandsthroughhishairinordertolookasmuchlikeasolicitoraspossible，andtocramhispapersintohispocket，alreadyovercomewithshamethatanothereyeshouldbeholdthem，whenherealizedthathispreparationswereneedless。TheladywasMrs。Hilbery。

“Ihopeyou\'renotdisposingofsomebody\'sfortuneinahurry，“sheremarked，gazingatthedocumentsonhistable，“orcuttingoffanentailatoneblow，becauseIwanttoaskyoutodomeafavor。AndAndersonwon\'tkeephishorsewaiting。(Andersonisaperfecttyrant，buthedrovemydearfathertotheAbbeythedaytheyburiedhim。)I

madeboldtocometoyou，Mr。Denham，notexactlyinsearchoflegalassistance(thoughIdon\'tknowwhoI\'drathercometo，ifIwereintrouble)，butinordertoaskyourhelpinsettlingsometiresomelittledomesticaffairsthathaveariseninmyabsence。I\'vebeentoStratford-on-Avon(Imusttellyouallaboutthatoneofthesedays)，andthereIgotaletterfrommysister-in-law，adearkindgoosewholikesinterferingwithotherpeople\'schildrenbecauseshe\'sgotnoneofherown。(We\'redreadfullyafraidthatshe\'sgoingtolosethesightofoneofhereyes，andIalwaysfeelthatourphysicalailmentsaresoapttoturnintomentalailments。IthinkMatthewArnoldsayssomethingofthesamekindaboutLordByron。)Butthat\'sneitherherenorthere。“

Theeffectoftheseparentheses，whethertheywereintroducedforthatpurposeorrepresentedanaturalinstinctonMrs。Hilbery\'sparttoembellishthebarenessofherdiscourse，gaveRalphtimetoperceivethatshepossessedallthefactsoftheirsituationandwascome，somehow，inthecapacityofambassador。

“Ididn\'tcomeheretotalkaboutLordByron，“Mrs。Hilberycontinued，withalittlelaugh，“thoughIknowthatbothyouandKatharine，unlikeotheryoungpeopleofyourgeneration，stillfindhimworthreading。“Shepaused。“I\'msogladyou\'vemadeKatharinereadpoetry，Mr。Denham！“sheexclaimed，“andfeelpoetry，andlookpoetry！Shecan\'ttalkityet，butshewill——oh，shewill！“

Ralph，whosehandwasgraspedandwhosetonguealmostrefusedtoarticulate，somehowcontrivedtosaythatthereweremomentswhenhefelthopeless，utterlyhopeless，thoughhegavenoreasonforthisstatementonhispart。

“Butyoucareforher？“Mrs。Hilberyinquired。

“GoodGod！“heexclaimed，withavehemencewhichadmittedofnoquestion。

“It\'stheChurchofEnglandserviceyoubothobjectto？“Mrs。Hilberyinquiredinnocently。

“Idon\'tcareadamnwhatserviceitis，“Ralphreplied。

“YouwouldmarryherinWestminsterAbbeyiftheworstcametotheworst？“Mrs。Hilberyinquired。

“IwouldmarryherinSt。Paul\'sCathedral，“Ralphreplied。Hisdoubtsuponthispoint，whichwerealwaysrousedbyKatharine\'spresence，hadvanishedcompletely，andhisstrongestwishintheworldwastobewithherimmediately，sinceeverysecondhewasawayfromherheimaginedherslippingfartherandfartherfromhimintooneofthosestatesofmindinwhichhewasunrepresented。Hewishedtodominateher，topossessher。

“ThankGod！“exclaimedMrs。Hilbery。ShethankedHimforavarietyofblessings:fortheconvictionwithwhichtheyoungmanspoke；andnotleastfortheprospectthatonherdaughter\'swedding-daythenoblecadences，thestatelyperiods，theancienteloquenceofthemarriageservicewouldresoundovertheheadsofadistinguishedcongregationgatheredtogetherneartheveryspotwhereherfatherlayquiescentwiththeotherpoetsofEngland。Thetearsfilledhereyes；butsherememberedsimultaneouslythathercarriagewaswaiting，andwithdimeyesshewalkedtothedoor。Denhamfollowedherdownstairs。

Itwasastrangedrive。ForDenhamitwaswithoutexceptionthemostunpleasanthehadevertaken。HisonlywishwastogoasstraightlyandquicklyaspossibletoCheyneWalk；butitsoonappearedthatMrs。

Hilberyeitherignoredorthoughtfittobafflethisdesirebyinterposingvariouserrandsofherown。Shestoppedthecarriageatpost-offices，andcoffee-shops，andshopsofinscrutabledignitywheretheagedattendantshadtobegreetedasoldfriends；and，catchingsightofthedomeofSt。Paul\'sabovetheirregularspiresofLudgateHill，shepulledthecordimpulsively，andgavedirectionsthatAndersonshoulddrivethemthere。ButAndersonhadreasonsofhisownfordiscouragingafternoonworship，andkepthishorse\'snoseobstinatelytowardsthewest。Aftersomeminutes，Mrs。Hilberyrealizedthesituation，andaccepteditgood-humoredly，apologizingtoRalphforhisdisappointment。

“Nevermind，“shesaid，“we\'llgotoSt。Paul\'sanotherday，anditmayturnout，thoughIcan\'tpromisethatitWILL，thathe\'lltakeuspastWestminsterAbbey，whichwouldbeevenbetter。“

Ralphwasscarcelyawareofwhatshewentontosay。Hermindandbodybothseemedtohavefloatedintoanotherregionofquick-sailingcloudsrapidlypassingacrosseachotherandenvelopingeverythinginavaporousindistinctness。Meanwhileheremainedconsciousofhisownconcentrateddesire，hisimpotencetobringaboutanythinghewished，andhisincreasingagonyofimpatience。

SuddenlyMrs。HilberypulledthecordwithsuchdecisionthatevenAndersonhadtolistentotheorderwhichsheleantoutofthewindowtogivehim。ThecarriagepulledupabruptlyinthemiddleofWhitehallbeforealargebuildingdedicatedtooneofourGovernmentoffices。InasecondMrs。Hilberywasmountingthesteps，andRalphwasleftintooacuteanirritationbythisfurtherdelayeventospeculatewhaterrandtookhernowtotheBoardofEducation。Hewasabouttojumpfromthecarriageandtakeacab，whenMrs。Hilberyreappearedtalkinggeniallytoafigurewhoremainedhiddenbehindher。

“There\'splentyofroomforusall，“shewassaying。“Plentyofroom。

WecouldfindspaceforFOURofyou，William，“sheadded，openingthedoor，andRalphfoundthatRodneyhadnowjoinedtheircompany。Thetwomenglancedateachother。Ifdistress，shame，discomfortinitsmostacuteformwereevervisibleuponahumanface，Ralphcouldreadthemallexpressedbeyondtheeloquenceofwordsuponthefaceofhisunfortunatecompanion。ButMrs。Hilberywaseithercompletelyunseeingordeterminedtoappearso。Shewentontalking；shetalked，itseemedtoboththeyoungmen，tosomeoneoutside，upintheair。ShetalkedaboutShakespeare，sheapostrophizedthehumanrace，sheproclaimedthevirtuesofdivinepoetry，shebegantoreciteverseswhichbrokedowninthemiddle。Thegreatadvantageofherdiscoursewasthatitwasself-supporting。ItnourisheditselfuntilCheyneWalkwasreacheduponhalfadozengruntsandmurmurs。

“Now，“shesaid，alightingbrisklyatherdoor，“hereweare！“

Therewassomethingairyandironicalinhervoiceandexpressionassheturneduponthedoorstepandlookedatthem，whichfilledbothRodneyandDenhamwiththesamemisgivingsathavingtrustedtheirfortunestosuchanambassador；andRodneyactuallyhesitateduponthethresholdandmurmuredtoDenham:

“Yougoin，Denham。I……“Hewasturningtail，butthedooropeningandthefamiliarlookofthehouseassertingitscharm，heboltedinonthewakeoftheothers，andthedoorshutuponhisescape。Mrs。

Hilberyledthewayupstairs。Shetookthemtothedrawing-room。Thefireburntasusual，thelittletableswerelaidwithchinaandsilver。Therewasnobodythere。

“Ah，“shesaid，“Katharine\'snothere。Shemustbeupstairsinherroom。Youhavesomethingtosaytoher，Iknow，Mr。Denham。Youcanfindyourway？“shevaguelyindicatedtheceilingwithagestureofherhand。Shehadbecomesuddenlyseriousandcomposed，mistressinherownhouse。ThegesturewithwhichshedismissedhimhadadignitythatRalphneverforgot。Sheseemedtomakehimfreewithawaveofherhandtoallthatshepossessed。Helefttheroom。

TheHilberys\'housewastall，possessingmanystoriesandpassageswithcloseddoors，all，oncehehadpassedthedrawing-roomfloor，unknowntoRalph。Hemountedashighashecouldandknockedatthefirstdoorhecameto。

“MayIcomein？“heasked。

Avoicefromwithinanswered“Yes。“

Hewasconsciousofalargewindow，fulloflight，ofabaretable，andofalonglooking-glass。Katharinehadrisen，andwasstandingwithsomewhitepapersinherhand，whichslowlyflutteredtothegroundasshesawhervisitor。Theexplanationwasashortone。Thesoundswereinarticulate；noonecouldhaveunderstoodthemeaningsavethemselves。Asiftheforcesoftheworldwereallatworktotearthemasundertheysat，claspinghands，nearenoughtobetakenevenbythemaliciouseyeofTimehimselfforaunitedcouple，anindivisibleunit。

“Don\'tmove，don\'tgo，“shebeggedofhim，whenhestoopedtogatherthepapersshehadletfall。Buthetooktheminhishandsand，givingherbyasuddenimpulsehisownunfinisheddissertation，withitsmysticalconclusion，theyreadeachother\'scompositionsinsilence。

Katharinereadhissheetstoanend；Ralphfollowedherfiguresasfarashismathematicswouldlethim。Theycametotheendoftheirtasksataboutthesamemoment，andsatforatimeinsilence。

“ThosewerethepapersyouleftontheseatatKew，“saidRalphatlength。“YoufoldedthemsoquicklythatIcouldn\'tseewhattheywere。“

Sheblushedverydeeply；butasshedidnotmoveorattempttohideherfaceshehadtheappearanceofsomeonedisarmedofalldefences，orRalphlikenedhertoawildbirdjustsettlingwithwingstremblingtofoldthemselveswithinreachofhishand。Themomentofexposurehadbeenexquisitelypainful——thelightshedstartlinglyvivid。Shehadnowtogetusedtothefactthatsomeonesharedherloneliness。

Thebewildermentwashalfshameandhalfthepreludetoprofoundrejoicing。Norwassheunconsciousthatonthesurfacethewholethingmustappearoftheutmostabsurdity。ShelookedtoseewhetherRalphsmiled，butfoundhisgazefixedonherwithsuchgravitythatsheturnedtothebeliefthatshehadcommittednosacrilegebutenrichedherself，perhapsimmeasurably，perhapseternally。Shehardlydaredsteepherselfintheinfinitebliss。Buthisglanceseemedtoaskforsomeassuranceuponanotherpointofvitalinteresttohim。Itbeseechedhermutelytotellhimwhetherwhatshehadreaduponhisconfusedsheethadanymeaningortruthtoher。Shebentherheadoncemoretothepaperssheheld。

“Ilikeyourlittledotwiththeflamesroundit，“shesaidmeditatively。

Ralphnearlytorethepagefromherhandinshameanddespairwhenhesawheractuallycontemplatingtheidioticsymbolofhismostconfusedandemotionalmoments。

Hewasconvincedthatitcouldmeannothingtoanother，althoughsomehowtohimitconveyednotonlyKatharineherselfbutallthosestatesofmindwhichhadclusteredroundhersincehefirstsawherpouringoutteaonaSundayafternoon。Itrepresentedbyitscircumferenceofsmudgessurroundingacentralblotallthatencirclingglowwhichforhimsurrounded，inexplicably，somanyoftheobjectsoflife，softeningtheirsharpoutline，sothathecouldseecertainstreets，books，andsituationswearingahaloalmostperceptibletothephysicaleye。Didshesmile？Didsheputthepaperdownwearily，condemningitnotonlyforitsinadequacybutforitsfalsity？Wasshegoingtoprotestoncemorethatheonlylovedthevisionofher？Butitdidnotoccurtoherthatthisdiagramhadanythingtodowithher。Shesaidsimply，andinthesametoneofreflection:

“Yes，theworldlookssomethinglikethattometoo。“

Hereceivedherassurancewithprofoundjoy。Quietlyandsteadilythereroseupbehindthewholeaspectoflifethatsoftedgeoffirewhichgaveitsredtinttotheatmosphereandcrowdedthescenewithshadowssodeepanddarkthatonecouldfancypushingfartherintotheirdensityandstillfarther，exploringindefinitely。Whethertherewasanycorrespondencebetweenthetwoprospectsnowopeningbeforethemtheysharedthesamesenseoftheimpendingfuture，vast，mysterious，infinitelystoredwithundevelopedshapeswhicheachwouldunwrapfortheothertobehold；butforthepresenttheprospectofthefuturewasenoughtofillthemwithsilentadoration。Atanyrate，theirfurtherattemptstocommunicatearticulatelywereinterruptedbyaknockonthedoor，andtheentranceofamaidwho，withaduesenseofmystery，announcedthataladywishedtoseeMissHilbery，butrefusedtoallowhernametobegiven。

WhenKatharinerose，withaprofoundsigh，toresumeherduties，Ralphwentwithher，andneitherofthemformulatedanyguess，ontheirwaydownstairs，astowhothisanonymousladymightprovetobe。Perhapsthefantasticnotionthatshewasalittleblackhunchbackprovidedwithasteelknife，whichshewouldplungeintoKatharine\'sheart，appearedtoRalphmoreprobablethananother，andhepushedfirstintothedining-roomtoaverttheblow。Thenheexclaimed“Cassandra！“withsuchheartinessatthesightofCassandraOtwaystandingbythedining-roomtablethatsheputherfingertoherlipsandbeggedhimtobequiet。

“NobodymustknowI\'mhere，“sheexplainedinasepulchralwhisper。“I

missedmytrain。IhavebeenwanderingaboutLondonallday。Icanbearitnolonger。Katharine，whatamItodo？“

Katharinepushedforwardachair；Ralphhastilyfoundwineandpoureditoutforher。Ifnotactuallyfainting，shewasverynearit。

“William\'supstairs，“saidRalph，assoonassheappearedtoberecovered。“I\'llgoandaskhimtocomedowntoyou。“Hisownhappinesshadgivenhimaconfidencethateveryoneelsewasboundtobehappytoo。ButCassandrahadheruncle\'scommandsandangertoovividlyinhermindtodareanysuchdefiance。Shebecameagitatedandsaidthatshemustleavethehouseatonce。Shewasnotinaconditiontogo，hadtheyknownwheretosendher。Katharine\'scommonsense，whichhadbeeninabeyanceforthepastweekortwo，stillfailedher，andshecouldonlyask，“Butwhere\'syourluggage？“inthevaguebeliefthattotakelodgingsdependedentirelyuponasufficiencyofluggage。Cassandra\'sreply，“I\'velostmyluggage，“innowayhelpedhertoaconclusion。

“You\'velostyourluggage，“sherepeated。HereyesresteduponRalph，withanexpressionwhichseemedbetterfittedtoaccompanyaprofoundthanksgivingforhisexistenceorsomevowofeternaldevotionthanaquestionaboutluggage。Cassandraperceivedthelook，andsawthatitwasreturned；hereyesfilledwithtears。Shefalteredinwhatshewassaying。ShebeganbravelyagaintodiscussthequestionoflodgingwhenKatharine，whoseemedtohavecommunicatedsilentlywithRalph，andobtainedhispermission，tookherrubyringfromherfingerandgivingittoCassandra，said:“Ibelieveitwillfityouwithoutanyalteration。“

ThesewordswouldnothavebeenenoughtoconvinceCassandraofwhatsheverymuchwishedtobelievehadnotRalphtakenthebarehandinhisanddemanded:

“Whydon\'tyoutellusyou\'reglad？“Cassandrawassogladthatthetearsrandownhercheeks。ThecertaintyofKatharine\'sengagementnotonlyrelievedherofathousandvaguefearsandself-reproaches，butentirelyquenchedthatspiritofcriticismwhichhadlatelyimpairedherbeliefinKatharine。Heroldfaithcamebacktoher。Sheseemedtobeholdherwiththatcuriousintensitywhichshehadlost；asabeingwhowalksjustbeyondoursphere，sothatlifeintheirpresenceisaheightenedprocess，illuminatingnotonlyourselvesbutaconsiderablestretchofthesurroundingworld。Nextmomentshecontrastedherownlotwiththeirsandgavebackthering。

“Iwon\'ttakethatunlessWilliamgivesitmehimself，“shesaid。

“Keepitforme，Katharine。“

“Iassureyoueverything\'sperfectlyallright，“saidRalph。“LetmetellWilliam——“

Hewasabout，inspiteofCassandra\'sprotest，toreachthedoor，whenMrs。Hilbery，eitherwarnedbytheparlor-maidorconsciouswithherusualprescienceoftheneedforherintervention，openedthedoorandsmilinglysurveyedthem。

“MydearCassandra！“sheexclaimed。“Howdelightfultoseeyoubackagain！Whatacoincidence！“sheobserved，inageneralway。“Williamisupstairs。Thekettleboilsover。Where\'sKatharine，Isay？Igotolook，andIfindCassandra！“Sheseemedtohaveprovedsomethingtoherownsatisfaction，althoughnobodyfeltcertainwhatthingpreciselyitwas。

“IfindCassandra，“sherepeated。

“Shemissedhertrain，“Katharineinterposed，seeingthatCassandrawasunabletospeak。

“Life，“beganMrs。Hilbery，drawinginspirationfromtheportraitsonthewallapparently，“consistsinmissingtrainsandinfinding——“Butshepulledherselfupandremarkedthatthekettlemusthaveboiledcompletelyovereverything。

ToKatharine\'sagitatedminditappearedthatthiskettlewasanenormouskettle，capableofdelugingthehouseinitsincessantshowersofsteam，theenragedrepresentativeofallthosehouseholddutieswhichshehadneglected。Sheranhastilyuptothedrawing-room，andtherestfollowedher，forMrs。HilberyputherarmroundCassandraanddrewherupstairs。TheyfoundRodneyobservingthekettlewithuneasinessbutwithsuchabsenceofmindthatKatharine\'scatastrophewasinafairwaytobefulfilled。Inputtingthematterstraightnogreetingswereexchanged，butRodneyandCassandrachoseseatsasfarapartaspossible，andsatdownwithanairofpeoplemakingaverytemporarylodgment。EitherMrs。Hilberywasimpervioustotheirdiscomfort，orchosetoignoreit，orthoughtithightimethatthesubjectwaschanged，forshedidnothingbuttalkaboutShakespeare\'stomb。

“Somuchearthandsomuchwaterandthatsublimespiritbroodingoveritall，“shemused，andwentontosingherstrange，half-earthlysongofdawnsandsunsets，ofgreatpoets，andtheunchangedspiritofnoblelovingwhichtheyhadtaught，sothatnothingchanges，andoneageislinkedwithanother，andnoonedies，andweallmeetinspirit，untilsheappearedobliviousofanyoneintheroom。Butsuddenlyherremarksseemedtocontracttheenormouslywidecircleinwhichtheyweresoaringandtoalight，airilyandtemporarily，uponmattersofmoreimmediatemoment。

“KatharineandRalph，“shesaid，asiftotrythesound。“WilliamandCassandra。“

“Ifeelmyselfinanentirelyfalseposition，“saidWilliamdesperately，thrustinghimselfintothisbreachinherreflections。

“I\'venorighttobesittinghere。Mr。Hilberytoldmeyesterdaytoleavethehouse。I\'dnointentionofcomingbackagain。Ishallnow——“

“Ifeelthesametoo，“Cassandrainterrupted。“AfterwhatUncleTrevorsaidtomelastnight——“

“Ihaveputyouintoamostodiousposition，“Rodneywenton，risingfromhisseat，inwhichmovementhewasimitatedsimultaneouslybyCassandra。“UntilIhaveyourfather\'sconsentIhavenorighttospeaktoyou——letaloneinthishouse，wheremyconduct“——helookedatKatharine，stammered，andfellsilent——“wheremyconducthasbeenreprehensibleandinexcusableintheextreme，“heforcedhimselftocontinue。“Ihaveexplainedeverythingtoyourmother。SheissogenerousastotryandmakemebelievethatIhavedonenoharm——youhaveconvincedherthatmybehavior，selfishandweakasitwas——selfishandweak——“herepeated，likeaspeakerwhohaslosthisnotes。

TwoemotionsseemedtobestrugglinginKatharine；onethedesiretolaughattheridiculousspectacleofWilliammakingheraformalspeechacrossthetea-table，theotheradesiretoweepatthesightofsomethingchildlikeandhonestinhimwhichtouchedherinexpressibly。Toeveryone\'ssurprisesherose，stretchedoutherhand，andsaid:

“You\'venothingtoreproachyourselfwith——you\'vebeenalways——“butherehervoicediedaway，andthetearsforcedthemselvesintohereyes，andrandownhercheeks，whileWilliam，equallymoved，seizedherhandandpressedittohislips。Nooneperceivedthatthedrawing-roomdoorhadopeneditselfsufficientlytoadmitatleasthalfthepersonofMr。Hilbery，orsawhimgazeatthesceneroundthetea-tablewithanexpressionoftheutmostdisgustandexpostulation。

Hewithdrewunseen。Hepausedoutsideonthelandingtryingtorecoverhisself-controlandtodecidewhatcoursehemightwithmostdignitypursue。Itwasobvioustohimthathiswifehadentirelyconfusedthemeaningofhisinstructions。Shehadplungedthemallintothemostodiousconfusion。Hewaitedamoment，andthen，withmuchpreliminaryrattlingofthehandle，openedthedoorasecondtime。Theyhadallregainedtheirplaces；someincidentofanabsurdnaturehadnowsetthemlaughingandlookingunderthetable，sothathisentrancepassedmomentarilyunperceived。Katharine，withflushedcheeks，raisedherheadandsaid:

“Well，that\'smylastattemptatthedramatic。“

“It\'sastonishingwhatadistancetheyroll，“saidRalph，stoopingtoturnupthecornerofthehearthrug。

“Don\'ttrouble——don\'tbother。Weshallfindit——“Mrs。Hilberybegan，andthensawherhusbandandexclaimed:“Oh，Trevor，we\'relookingforCassandra\'sengagement-ring！“

Mr。Hilberylookedinstinctivelyatthecarpet。Remarkablyenough，theringhadrolledtotheverypointwherehestood。Hesawtherubiestouchingthetipofhisboot。Suchistheforceofhabitthathecouldnotrefrainfromstooping，withanabsurdlittlethrillofpleasureatbeingtheonetofindwhatotherswerelookingfor，and，pickingtheringup，hepresentedit，withabowthatwascourtlyintheextreme，toCassandra。Whetherthemakingofabowreleasedautomaticallyfeelingsofcomplaisanceandurbanity，Mr。Hilberyfoundhisresentmentcompletelywashedawayduringthesecondinwhichhebentandstraightenedhimself。Cassandradaredtoofferhercheekandreceivedhisembrace。HenoddedwithsomedegreeofstiffnesstoRodneyandDenham，whohadbothrisenuponseeinghim，andnowaltogethersatdown。Mrs。Hilberyseemedtohavebeenwaitingfortheentranceofherhusband，andforthisprecisemomentinordertoputtohimaquestionwhich，fromtheardorwithwhichsheannouncedit，hadevidentlybeenpressingforutteranceforsometimepast。

“Oh，Trevor，pleasetellme，whatwasthedateofthefirstperformanceof\'Hamlet\'？“

InordertoanswerherMr。HilberyhadtohaverecoursetotheexactscholarshipofWilliamRodney，andbeforehehadgivenhisexcellentauthoritiesforbelievingashebelieved，RodneyfelthimselfadmittedoncemoretothesocietyofthecivilizedandsanctionedbytheauthorityofnolessapersonthanShakespearehimself。Thepowerofliterature，whichhadtemporarilydesertedMr。Hilbery，nowcamebacktohim，pouringovertherawuglinessofhumanaffairsitssoothingbalm，andprovidingaformintowhichsuchpassionsashehadfeltsopainfullythenightbeforecouldbemoldedsothattheyfellroundlyfromthetongueinshapelyphrases，hurtingnobody。HewassufficientlysureofhiscommandoflanguageatlengthtolookatKatharineandagainatDenham。AllthistalkaboutShakespearehadactedasasoporific，orratherasanincantationuponKatharine。Sheleanedbackinherchairattheheadofthetea-table，perfectlysilent，lookingvaguelypastthemall，receivingthemostgeneralizedideasofhumanheadsagainstpictures，againstyellow-tintedwalls，againstcurtainsofdeepcrimsonvelvet。Denham，towhomheturnednext，sharedherimmobilityunderhisgaze。Butbeneathhisrestraintandcalmitwaspossibletodetectaresolution，awill，setnowwithunalterabletenacity，whichmadesuchturnsofspeechasMr。Hilberyhadatcommandappearoddlyirrelevant。Atanyrate，hesaidnothing。

Herespectedtheyoungman；hewasaveryableyoungman；hewaslikelytogethisownway。Hecould，hethought，lookingathisstillandverydignifiedhead，understandKatharine\'spreference，and，ashethoughtthis，hewassurprisedbyapangofacutejealousy。ShemighthavemarriedRodneywithoutcausinghimatwinge。Thismansheloved。

Orwhatwasthestateofaffairsbetweenthem？Anextraordinaryconfusionofemotionwasbeginningtogetthebetterofhim，whenMrs。

Hilbery，whohadbeenconsciousofasuddenpauseintheconversation，andhadlookedwistfullyatherdaughteronceortwice，remarked:

“Don\'tstayifyouwanttogo，Katharine。There\'sthelittleroomoverthere。PerhapsyouandRalph——“

“We\'reengaged，“saidKatharine，wakingwithastart，andlookingstraightatherfather。Hewastakenabackbythedirectnessofthestatement；heexclaimedasifanunexpectedblowhadstruckhim。Hadhelovedhertoseehersweptawaybythistorrent，tohavehertakenfromhimbythisuncontrollableforce，tostandbyhelpless，ignored？

Oh，howhelovedher！Howhelovedher！HenoddedverycurtlytoDenham。

“Igatheredsomethingofthekindlastnight，“hesaid。“Ihopeyou\'lldeserveher。“Butheneverlookedathisdaughter，andstrodeoutoftheroom，leavinginthemindsofthewomenasense，halfofawe，halfofamusement，attheextravagant，inconsiderate，uncivilizedmale，outragedsomehowandgonebellowingtohislairwitharoarwhichstillsometimesreverberatesinthemostpolishedofdrawing-rooms。

ThenKatharine，lookingattheshutdoor，lookeddownagain，tohidehertears。

CHAPTERXXXIV

Thelampswerelit；theirlusterreflecteditselfinthepolishedwood；goodwinewaspassedroundthedinner-table；beforethemealwasfaradvancedcivilizationhadtriumphed，andMr。Hilberypresidedoverafeastwhichcametowearmoreandmoresurelyanaspect，cheerful，dignified，promisingwellforthefuture。TojudgefromtheexpressioninKatharine\'seyesitpromisedsomething——buthecheckedtheapproachsentimentality。Hepouredoutwine；hebadeDenhamhelphimself。

TheywentupstairsandhesawKatharineandDenhamabstractthemselvesdirectlyCassandrahadaskedwhethershemightnotplayhimsomething——someMozart？someBeethoven？Shesatdowntothepiano；thedoorclosedsoftlybehindthem。Hiseyesrestedonthecloseddoorforsomesecondsunwaveringly，but，bydegrees，thelookofexpectationdiedoutofthem，and，withasigh，helistenedtothemusic。

KatharineandRalphwereagreedwithscarcelyawordofdiscussionastowhattheywishedtodo，andinamomentshejoinedhiminthehalldressedforwalking。Thenightwasstillandmoonlit，fitforwalking，thoughanynightwouldhaveseemedsotothem，desiringmorethananythingmovement，freedomfromscrutiny，silence，andtheopenair。

“Atlast！“shebreathed，asthefrontdoorshut。Shetoldhimhowshehadwaited，fidgeted，thoughthewasnevercoming，listenedforthesoundofdoors，halfexpectedtoseehimagainunderthelamp-post，lookingatthehouse。Theyturnedandlookedattheserenefrontwithitsgold-rimmedwindows，tohimtheshrineofsomuchadoration。Inspiteofherlaughandthelittlepressureofmockeryonhisarm，hewouldnotresignhisbelief，butwithherhandrestingthere，hervoicequickenedandmysteriouslymovinginhisears，hehadnottime——

theyhadnotthesameinclination——otherobjectsdrewhisattention。

Howtheycametofindthemselveswalkingdownastreetwithmanylamps，cornersradiantwithlight，andasteadysuccessionofmotor-

omnibusesplyingbothwaysalongit，theycouldneitherofthemtell；

noraccountfortheimpulsewhichledthemsuddenlytoselectoneofthesewayfarersandmounttotheveryfrontseat。Aftercurvingthroughstreetsofcomparativedarkness，sonarrowthatshadowsontheblindswerepressedwithinafewfeetoftheirfaces，theycametooneofthosegreatknotsofactivitywherethelights，havingdrawnclosetogether，thinoutagainandtaketheirseparateways。Theywereborneonuntiltheysawthespiresofthecitychurchespaleandflatagainstthesky。

“Areyoucold？“heasked，astheystoppedbyTempleBar。

“Yes，Iamrather，“shereplied，becomingconsciousthatthesplendidraceoflightsdrawnpasthereyesbythesuperbcurvingandswervingofthemonsteronwhichshesatwasatanend。Theyhadfollowedsomesuchcourseintheirthoughtstoo；theyhadbeenborneon，victorsintheforefrontofsometriumphalcar，spectatorsofapageantenactedforthem，mastersoflife。Butstandingonthepavementalone，thisexaltationleftthem；theyweregladtobealonetogether。Ralphstoodstillforamomenttolighthispipebeneathalamp。

Shelookedathisfaceisolatedinthelittlecircleoflight。

“Oh，thatcottage，“shesaid。“Wemusttakeitandgothere。“

“Andleaveallthis？“heinquired。

“Asyoulike，“shereplied。Shethought，lookingattheskyaboveChanceryLane，howtheroofwasthesameeverywhere；howshewasnowsecureofallthatthisloftyblueanditssteadfastlightsmeanttoher；reality，wasit，figures，love，truth？

“I\'vesomethingonmymind，“saidRalphabruptly。“ImeanI\'vebeenthinkingofMaryDatchet。We\'reverynearherroomsnow。Wouldyoumindifwewentthere？“

Shehadturnedbeforesheansweredhim。Shehadnowishtoseeanyoneto-night；itseemedtoherthattheimmenseriddlewasanswered；theproblemhadbeensolved；sheheldinherhandsforonebriefmomenttheglobewhichwespendourlivesintryingtoshape，round，whole，andentirefromtheconfusionofchaos。ToseeMarywastoriskthedestructionofthisglobe。

“Didyoutreatherbadly？“sheaskedrathermechanically，walkingon。

“Icoulddefendmyself，“hesaid，almostdefiantly。“Butwhat\'stheuse，ifonefeelsathing？Iwon\'tbewithheraminute，“hesaid。

“I\'lljusttellher——“

“Ofcourse，youmusttellher，“saidKatharine，andnowfeltanxiousforhimtodowhatappearedtobenecessaryifhe，too，weretoholdhisglobeforamomentround，whole，andentire。

“Iwish——Iwish——“shesighed，formelancholycameoverherandobscuredatleastasectionofherclearvision。Theglobeswambeforeherasifobscuredbytears。

“Iregretnothing，“saidRalphfirmly。Sheleanttowardshimalmostasifshecouldthusseewhathesaw。Shethoughthowobscurehestillwastoher，saveonlythatmoreandmoreconstantlyheappearedtoherafireburningthroughitssmoke，asourceoflife。

“Goon，“shesaid。“Youregretnothing——“

“Nothing——nothing，“herepeated。

“Whatafire！“shethoughttoherself。Shethoughtofhimblazingsplendidlyinthenight，yetsoobscurethattoholdhisarm，assheheldit，wasonlytotouchtheopaquesubstancesurroundingtheflamethatroaredupwards。

“Whynothing？“sheaskedhurriedly，inorderthathemightsaymoreandsomakemoresplendid，morered，moredarklyintertwinedwithsmokethisflamerushingupwards。

“Whatareyouthinkingof，Katharine？“heaskedsuspiciously，noticinghertoneofdreaminessandtheinaptwords。

“Iwasthinkingofyou——yes，Iswearit。Alwaysofyou，butyoutakesuchstrangeshapesinmymind。You\'vedestroyedmyloneliness。AmI

totellyouhowIseeyou？No，tellme——tellmefromthebeginning。“

Beginningwithspasmodicwords，hewentontospeakmoreandmorefluently，moreandmorepassionately，feelingherleaningtowardshim，listeningwithwonderlikeachild，withgratitudelikeawoman。Sheinterruptedhimgravelynowandthen。

“Butitwasfoolishtostandoutsideandlookatthewindows。SupposeWilliamhadn\'tseenyou。Wouldyouhavegonetobed？“

HecappedherreproofwithwondermentthatawomanofheragecouldhavestoodinKingswaylookingatthetrafficuntilsheforgot。

“ButitwasthenIfirstknewIlovedyou！“sheexclaimed。

“Tellmefromthebeginning，“hebeggedher。

“No，I\'mapersonwhocan\'ttellthings，“shepleaded。“Ishallsaysomethingridiculous——somethingaboutflames——fires。No，Ican\'ttellyou。“

Buthepersuadedherintoabrokenstatement，beautifultohim，chargedwithextremeexcitementasshespokeofthedarkredfire，andthesmoketwinedroundit，makinghimfeelthathehadsteppedoverthethresholdintothefaintlylitvastnessofanothermind，stirringwithshapes，solarge，sodim，unveilingthemselvesonlyinflashes，andmovingawayagainintothedarkness，engulfedbyit。TheyhadwalkedbythistimetothestreetinwhichMarylived，andbeingengrossedbywhattheysaidandpartlysaw，passedherstaircasewithoutlookingup。Atthistimeofnighttherewasnotrafficandscarcelyanyfoot-passengers，sothattheycouldpaceslowlywithoutinterruption，arm-in-arm，raisingtheirhandsnowandthentodrawsomethinguponthevastbluecurtainofthesky。

Theybroughtthemselvesbythesemeans，actingonamoodofprofoundhappiness，toastateofclear-sightednesswheretheliftingofafingerhadeffect，andonewordspokemorethanasentence。Theylapsedgentlyintosilence，travelingthedarkpathsofthoughtsidebysidetowardssomethingdiscernedinthedistancewhichgraduallypossessedthemboth。Theywerevictors，mastersoflife，butatthesametimeabsorbedintheflame，givingtheirlifetoincreaseitsbrightness，totestifytotheirfaith。Thustheyhadwalked，perhaps，twiceorthreetimesupanddownMaryDatchet\'sstreetbeforetherecurrenceofalightburningbehindathin，yellowblindcausedthemtostopwithoutexactlyknowingwhytheydidso。Itburneditselfintotheirminds。

“ThatisthelightinMary\'sroom，“saidRalph。“Shemustbeathome。“

Hepointedacrossthestreet。Katharine\'seyesrestedtheretoo。

“Isshealone，workingatthistimeofnight？Whatissheworkingat？“

shewondered。“Whyshouldweinterrupther？“sheaskedpassionately。

“Whathavewegottogiveher？She\'shappytoo，“sheadded。“Shehasherwork。“Hervoiceshookslightly，andthelightswamlikeanoceanofgoldbehindhertears。

“Youdon\'twantmetogotoher？“Ralphasked。

“Go，ifyoulike；tellherwhatyoulike，“shereplied。

Hecrossedtheroadimmediately，andwentupthestepsintoMary\'shouse。Katharinestoodwherehelefther，lookingatthewindowandexpectingsoontoseeashadowmoveacrossit；butshesawnothing；

theblindsconveyednothing；thelightwasnotmoved。Itsignaledtoheracrossthedarkstreet；itwasasignoftriumphshiningthereforever，nottobeextinguishedthissideofthegrave。Shebrandishedherhappinessasifinsalute；shedippeditasifinreverence。“Howtheyburn！“shethought，andallthedarknessofLondonseemedsetwithfires，roaringupwards；buthereyescamebacktoMary\'swindowandrestedtheresatisfied。Shehadwaitedsometimebeforeafiguredetacheditselffromthedoorwayandcameacrosstheroad，slowlyandreluctantly，towhereshestood。

“Ididn\'tgoin——Icouldn\'tbringmyself，“hebrokeoff。HehadstoodoutsideMary\'sdoorunabletobringhimselftoknock；ifshehadcomeoutshewouldhavefoundhimthere，thetearsrunningdownhischeeks，unabletospeak。

Theystoodforsomemoments，lookingattheilluminatedblinds，anexpressiontothembothofsomethingimpersonalandsereneinthespiritofthewomanwithin，workingoutherplansfarintothenight——

herplansforthegoodofaworldthatnoneofthemwereevertoknow。

Thentheirmindsjumpedonandotherlittlefigurescamebyinprocession，headed，inRalph\'sview，bythefigureofSallySeal。

“DoyourememberSallySeal？“heasked。Katharinebentherhead。

“YourmotherandMary？“hewenton。“RodneyandCassandra？OldJoanupatHighgate？“Hestoppedinhisenumeration，notfindingitpossibletolinkthemtogetherinanywaythatshouldexplainthequeercombinationwhichhecouldperceiveinthem，ashethoughtofthem。

Theyappearedtohimtobemorethanindividuals；tobemadeupofmanydifferentthingsincohesion；hehadavisionofanorderlyworld。

“It\'sallsoeasy——it\'sallsosimple，“Katherinequoted，rememberingsomewordsofSallySeal\'s，andwishingRalphtounderstandthatshefollowedthetrackofhisthought。Shefelthimtryingtopiecetogetherinalaboriousandelementaryfashionfragmentsofbelief，unsolderedandseparate，lackingtheunityofphrasesfashionedbytheoldbelievers。Togethertheygropedinthisdifficultregion，wheretheunfinished，theunfulfilled，theunwritten，theunreturned，cametogetherintheirghostlywayandworethesemblanceofthecompleteandthesatisfactory。Thefutureemergedmoresplendidthaneverfromthisconstructionofthepresent。Booksweretobewritten，andsincebooksmustbewritteninrooms，androomsmusthavehangings，andoutsidethewindowstheremustbeland，andanhorizontothatland，andtreesperhaps，andahill，theysketchedahabitationforthemselvesupontheoutlineofgreatofficesintheStrandandcontinuedtomakeanaccountofthefutureupontheomnibuswhichtookthemtowardsChelsea；andstill，forbothofthem，itswammiraculouslyinthegoldenlightofalargesteadylamp。

Asthenightwasfaradvancedtheyhadthewholeoftheseatsonthetopoftheomnibustochoosefrom，andtheroads，saveforanoccasionalcouple，wearingevenatmidnight，anairofshelteringtheirwordsfromthepublic，weredeserted。Nolongerdidtheshadowofamansingtotheshadowofapiano。Afewlightsinbedroomwindowsburntbutwereextinguishedonebyoneastheomnibuspassedthem。

Theydismountedandwalkeddowntotheriver。Shefelthisarmstiffenbeneathherhand，andknewbythistokenthattheyhadenteredtheenchantedregion。Shemightspeaktohim，butwiththatstrangetremorinhisvoice，thoseeyesblindlyadoring，whomdidheanswer？Whatwomandidhesee？Andwherewasshewalking，andwhowashercompanion？Moments，fragments，asecondofvision，andthentheflyingwaters，thewindsdissipatinganddissolving；then，too，therecollectionfromchaos，thereturnofsecurity，theearthfirm，superbandbrilliantinthesun。Fromtheheartofhisdarknesshespokehisthanksgiving；fromaregionasfar，ashidden，sheansweredhim。OnaJunenightthenightingalessing，theyanswereachotheracrosstheplain；theyareheardunderthewindowamongthetreesinthegarden。Pausing，theylookeddownintotheriverwhichboreitsdarktideofwaters，endlesslymoving，beneaththem。Theyturnedandfoundthemselvesoppositethehouse。Quietlytheysurveyedthefriendlyplace，burningitslampseitherinexpectationofthemorbecauseRodneywasstilltheretalkingtoCassandra。Katharinepushedthedoorhalfopenandstooduponthethreshold。Thelightlayinsoftgoldengrainsuponthedeepobscurityofthehushedandsleepinghousehold。Foramomenttheywaited，andthenloosedtheirhands。

“Goodnight，“hebreathed。“Goodnight，“shemurmuredbacktohim。

End