第4章

“Andthat\'sQueenieColquhoun，“shewenton，turningthepages，“whotookhercoffinoutwithhertoJamaica，packedwithlovelyshawlsandbonnets，becauseyoucouldn\'tgetcoffinsinJamaica，andshehadahorrorofdyingthere(asshedid)，andbeingdevouredbythewhiteants。Andthere\'sSabine，theloveliestofthemall；ah！itwaslikeastarrisingwhenshecameintotheroom。Andthat\'sMiriam，inhercoachman\'scloak，withallthelittlecapeson，andsheworegreattop-bootsunderneath。Youyoungpeoplemaysayyou\'reunconventional，butyou\'renothingcomparedwithher。“

Turningthepage，shecameuponthepictureofaverymasculine，handsomelady，whoseheadthephotographerhadadornedwithanimperialcrown。

“Ah，youwretch！“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed，“whatawickedolddespotyouwere，inyourday！Howweallboweddownbeforeyou！\'Maggie，\'sheusedtosay，\'ifithadn\'tbeenforme，wherewouldyoubenow？\'Anditwastrue；shebroughtthemtogether，youknow。Shesaidtomyfather，\'Marryher，\'andhedid；andshesaidtopoorlittleClara，\'Falldownandworshiphim，\'andshedid；butshegotupagain，ofcourse。Whatelsecouldoneexpect？Shewasamerechild——eighteen——

andhalfdeadwithfright，too。Butthatoldtyrantneverrepented。

Sheusedtosaythatshehadgiventhemthreeperfectmonths，andnoonehadarighttomore；andIsometimesthink，Katharine，that\'strue，youknow。It\'smorethanmostofushave，onlywehavetopretend，whichwasathingneitherofthemcouldeverdo。Ifancy，“

Mrs。Hilberymused，“thattherewasakindofsincerityinthosedaysbetweenmenandwomenwhich，withallyouroutspokenness，youhaven\'tgot。“

Katharineagaintriedtointerrupt。ButMrs。Hilberyhadbeengatheringimpetusfromherrecollections，andwasnowinhighspirits。

“Theymusthavebeengoodfriendsatheart，“sheresumed，“becausesheusedtosinghissongs。Ah，howdiditgo？“andMrs。Hilbery，whohadaverysweetvoice，trolledoutafamouslyricofherfather\'swhichhadbeensettoanabsurdlyandcharminglysentimentalairbysomeearlyVictoriancomposer。

“It\'sthevitalityofthem！“sheconcluded，strikingherfistagainstthetable。“That\'swhatwehaven\'tgot！We\'revirtuous，we\'reearnest，wegotomeetings，wepaythepoortheirwages，butwedon\'tliveastheylived。Asoftenasnot，myfatherwasn\'tinbedthreenightsoutoftheseven，butalwaysfreshaspaintinthemorning。Ihearhimnow，comesingingupthestairstothenursery，andtossingtheloafforbreakfastonhissword-stick，andthenoffwewentforaday\'spleasuring——Richmond，HamptonCourt，theSurreyHills。Whyshouldn\'twego，Katharine？It\'sgoingtobeafineday。“

Atthismoment，justasMrs。Hilberywasexaminingtheweatherfromthewindow，therewasaknockatthedoor。Aslight，elderlyladycamein，andwassalutedbyKatharine，withveryevidentdismay，as“AuntCelia！“ShewasdismayedbecausesheguessedwhyAuntCeliahadcome。

ItwascertainlyinordertodiscussthecaseofCyrilandthewomanwhowasnothiswife，andowingtoherprocrastinationMrs。Hilberywasquiteunprepared。Whocouldbemoreunprepared？Hereshewas，suggestingthatallthreeofthemshouldgoonajaunttoBlackfriarstoinspectthesiteofShakespeare\'stheater，fortheweatherwashardlysettledenoughforthecountry。

TothisproposalMrs。Milvainlistenedwithapatientsmile，whichindicatedthatformanyyearsshehadacceptedsucheccentricitiesinhersister-in-lawwithblandphilosophy。Katharinetookupherpositionatsomedistance，standingwithherfootonthefender，asthoughbysodoingshecouldgetabetterviewofthematter。But，inspiteofheraunt\'spresence，howunrealthewholequestionofCyrilandhismoralityappeared！Thedifficulty，itnowseemed，wasnottobreakthenewsgentlytoMrs。Hilbery，buttomakeherunderstandit。

Howwasonetolassohermind，andtetherittothisminute，unimportantspot？Amatter-of-factstatementseemedbest。

“IthinkAuntCeliahascometotalkaboutCyril，mother，“shesaidratherbrutally。“AuntCeliahasdiscoveredthatCyrilismarried。Hehasawifeandchildren。“

“No，heisNOTmarried，“Mrs。Milvaininterposed，inlowtones，addressingherselftoMrs。Hilbery。“Hehastwochildren，andanotherontheway。“

Mrs。Hilberylookedfromonetotheotherinbewilderment。

“Wethoughtitbettertowaituntilitwasprovedbeforewetoldyou，“

Katharineadded。

“ButImetCyrilonlyafortnightagoattheNationalGallery！“Mrs。

Hilberyexclaimed。“Idon\'tbelieveawordofit，“andshetossedherheadwithasmileonherlipsatMrs。Milvain，asthoughshecouldquiteunderstandhermistake，whichwasaverynaturalmistake，inthecaseofachildlesswoman，whosehusbandwassomethingverydullintheBoardofTrade。

“Ididn\'tWISHtobelieveit，Maggie，“saidMrs。Milvain。“ForalongtimeICOULDN\'Tbelieveit。ButnowI\'veseen，andIHAVEtobelieveit。“

“Katharine，“Mrs。Hilberydemanded，“doesyourfatherknowofthis？“

Katharinenodded。

“Cyrilmarried！“Mrs。Hilberyrepeated。“Andnevertellingusaword，thoughwe\'vehadhiminourhousesincehewasachild——nobleWilliam\'sson！Ican\'tbelievemyears！“

Feelingthattheburdenofproofwaslaiduponher，Mrs。Milvainnowproceededwithherstory。Shewaselderlyandfragile，butherchildlessnessseemedalwaystoimposethesepainfuldutiesonher，andtoreverethefamily，andtokeepitinrepair，hadnowbecomethechiefobjectofherlife。Shetoldherstoryinalow，spasmodic，andsomewhatbrokenvoice。

“Ihavesuspectedforsometimethathewasnothappy。Therewerenewlinesonhisface。SoIwenttohisrooms，whenIknewhewasengagedatthepoormen\'scollege。Helecturesthere——Romanlaw，youknow，oritmaybeGreek。ThelandladysaidMr。Alardyceonlysleptthereaboutonceafortnightnow。Helookedsoill，shesaid。Shehadseenhimwithayoungperson。Isuspectedsomethingdirectly。Iwenttohisroom，andtherewasanenvelopeonthemantelpiece，andaletterwithanaddressinSetonStreet，offtheKenningtonRoad。“

Mrs。Hilberyfidgetedratherrestlessly，andhummedfragmentsofhertune，asiftointerrupt。

“IwenttoSetonStreet，“AuntCeliacontinuedfirmly。“Averylowplace——lodging-houses，youknow，withcanariesinthewindow。Numbersevenjustlikealltheothers。Irang，Iknocked；noonecame。Iwentdownthearea。IamcertainIsawsomeoneinside——children——acradle。

Butnoreply——noreply。“Shesighed，andlookedstraightinfrontofherwithaglazedexpressioninherhalf-veiledblueeyes。

“Istoodinthestreet，“sheresumed，“incaseIcouldcatchasightofoneofthem。Itseemedaverylongtime。Therewereroughmensinginginthepublic-houseroundthecorner。Atlastthedooropened，andsomeone——itmusthavebeenthewomanherself——camerightpastme。

Therewasonlythepillar-boxbetweenus。“

“Andwhatdidshelooklike？“Mrs。Hilberydemanded。

“Onecouldseehowthepoorboyhadbeendeluded，“wasallthatMrs。

Milvainvouchsafedbywayofdescription。

“Poorthing！“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed。

“PoorCyril！“Mrs。Milvainsaid，layingaslightemphasisuponCyril。

“Butthey\'vegotnothingtoliveupon，“Mrs。Hilberycontinued。“Ifhe\'dcometouslikeaman，“shewenton，“andsaid，\'I\'vebeenafool，\'onewouldhavepitiedhim；onewouldhavetriedtohelphim。

There\'snothingsodisgracefulafterall——Buthe\'sbeengoingaboutalltheseyears，pretending，lettingonetakeitforgranted，thathewassingle。Andthepoordesertedlittlewife——“

“SheisNOThiswife，“AuntCeliainterrupted。

“I\'veneverheardanythingsodetestable！“Mrs。Hilberywoundup，strikingherfistonthearmofherchair。Assherealizedthefactsshebecamethoroughlydisgusted，although，perhaps，shewasmorehurtbytheconcealmentofthesinthanbythesinitself。Shelookedsplendidlyrousedandindignant；andKatharinefeltanimmensereliefandprideinhermother。Itwasplainthatherindignationwasverygenuine，andthathermindwasasperfectlyfocuseduponthefactsasanyonecouldwish——moreso，byalongway，thanAuntCelia\'smind，whichseemedtobetimidlycircling，withamorbidpleasure，intheseunpleasantshades。Sheandhermothertogetherwouldtakethesituationinhand，visitCyril，andseethewholethingthrough。

“WemustrealizeCyril\'spointofviewfirst，“shesaid，speakingdirectlytohermother，asiftoacontemporary，butbeforethewordswereoutofhermouth，therewasmoreconfusionoutside，andCousinCaroline，Mrs。Hilbery\'smaidencousin，enteredtheroom。AlthoughshewasbybirthanAlardyce，andAuntCeliaaHilbery，thecomplexitiesofthefamilyrelationshipweresuchthateachwasatoncefirstandsecondcousintotheother，andthusauntandcousintotheculpritCyril，sothathismisbehaviorwasalmostasmuchCousinCaroline\'saffairasAuntCelia\'s。CousinCarolinewasaladyofveryimposingheightandcircumference，butinspiteofhersizeandherhandsometrappings，therewassomethingexposedandunshelteredinherexpression，asifformanysummersherthinredskinandhookednoseandreduplicationofchins，somuchresemblingtheprofileofacockatoo，hadbeenbaredtotheweather；shewas，indeed，asinglelady；butshehad，itwasthehabittosay，“madealifeforherself，“

andwasthusentitledtobeheardwithrespect。

“Thisunhappybusiness，“shebegan，outofbreathasshewas。“IfthetrainhadnotgoneoutofthestationjustasIarrived，Ishouldhavebeenwithyoubefore。Celiahasdoubtlesstoldyou。Youwillagreewithme，Maggie。Hemustbemadetomarryheratonceforthesakeofthechildren——“

“Butdoesherefusetomarryher？“Mrs。Hilberyinquired，withareturnofherbewilderment。

“Hehaswrittenanabsurdpervertedletter，allquotations，“CousinCarolinepuffed。“Hethinkshe\'sdoingaveryfinething，whereweonlyseethefollyofit……Thegirl\'severybitasinfatuatedasheis——forwhichIblamehim。“

“Sheentangledhim，“AuntCeliaintervened，withaverycurioussmoothnessofintonation，whichseemedtoconveyavisionofthreadsweavingandinterweavingaclose，whitemeshroundtheirvictim。

“It\'snousegoingintotherightsandwrongsoftheaffairnow，Celia，“saidCousinCarolinewithsomeacerbity，forshebelievedherselftheonlypracticaloneofthefamily，andregrettedthat，owingtotheslownessofthekitchenclock，Mrs。MilvainhadalreadyconfusedpoordearMaggiewithherownincompleteversionofthefacts。“Themischief\'sdone，andveryuglymischieftoo。Arewetoallowthethirdchildtobebornoutofwedlock？(Iamsorrytohavetosaythesethingsbeforeyou，Katharine。)Hewillbearyourname，Maggie——yourfather\'sname，remember。“

“Butletushopeitwillbeagirl，“saidMrs。Hilbery。

Katharine，whohadbeenlookingathermotherconstantly，whilethechatteroftonguesheldsway，perceivedthatthelookofstraightforwardindignationhadalreadyvanished；hermotherwasevidentlycastingaboutinhermindforsomemethodofescape，orbrightspot，orsuddenilluminationwhichshouldshowtothesatisfactionofeverybodythatallhadhappened，miraculouslybutincontestably，forthebest。

“It\'sdetestable——quitedetestable！“sherepeated，butintonesofnogreatassurance；andthenherfacelitupwithasmilewhich，tentativeatfirst，soonbecamealmostassured。“Nowadays，peopledon\'tthinksobadlyofthesethingsastheyusedtodo，“shebegan。

“Itwillbehorriblyuncomfortableforthemsometimes，butiftheyarebrave，cleverchildren，astheywillbe，Idaresayit\'llmakeremarkablepeopleofthemintheend。RobertBrowningusedtosaythateverygreatmanhasJewishbloodinhim，andwemusttrytolookatitinthatlight。And，afterall，Cyrilhasactedonprinciple。Onemaydisagreewithhisprinciple，but，atleast，onecanrespectit——liketheFrenchRevolution，orCromwellcuttingtheKing\'sheadoff。Someofthemostterriblethingsinhistoryhavebeendoneonprinciple，“

sheconcluded。

“I\'mafraidItakeaverydifferentviewofprinciple，“CousinCarolineremarkedtartly。

“Principle！“AuntCeliarepeated，withanairofdeprecatingsuchawordinsuchaconnection。“Iwillgoto-morrowandseehim，“sheadded。

“Butwhyshouldyoutakethesedisagreeablethingsuponyourself，Celia？“Mrs。Hilberyinterposed，andCousinCarolinethereuponprotestedwithsomefurtherplaninvolvingsacrificeofherself。

Growingwearyofitall，Katharineturnedtothewindow，andstoodamongthefoldsofthecurtain，pressingclosetothewindow-pane，andgazingdisconsolatelyattherivermuchintheattitudeofachilddepressedbythemeaninglesstalkofitselders。Shewasmuchdisappointedinhermother——andinherselftoo。Thelittletugwhichshegavetotheblind，lettingitflyuptothetopwithasnap，signifiedherannoyance。Shewasveryangry，andyetimpotenttogiveexpressiontoheranger，orknowwithwhomshewasangry。Howtheytalkedandmoralizedandmadeupstoriestosuittheirownversionofthebecoming，andsecretlypraisedtheirowndevotionandtact！No；

theyhadtheirdwellinginamist，shedecided；hundredsofmilesaway——awayfromwhat？“PerhapsitwouldbebetterifImarriedWilliam，“

shethoughtsuddenly，andthethoughtappearedtoloomthroughthemistlikesolidground。Shestoodthere，thinkingofherowndestiny，andtheelderladiestalkedon，untiltheyhadtalkedthemselvesintoadecisiontoasktheyoungwomantoluncheon，andtellher，veryfriendlily，howsuchbehaviorappearedtowomenlikethemselves，whoknewtheworld。AndthenMrs。Hilberywasstruckbyabetteridea。

CHAPTERX

Messrs。GrateleyandHooper，thesolicitorsinwhosefirmRalphDenhamwasclerk，hadtheirofficeinLincoln\'sInnFields，andthereRalphDenhamappearedeverymorningverypunctuallyatteno\'clock。Hispunctuality，togetherwithotherqualities，markedhimoutamongtheclerksforsuccess，andindeeditwouldhavebeensafetowagerthatintenyears\'timeorsoonewouldfindhimattheheadofhisprofession，haditnotbeenforapeculiaritywhichsometimesseemedtomakeeverythingabouthimuncertainandperilous。HissisterJoanhadalreadybeendisturbedbyhisloveofgamblingwithhissavings。

Scrutinizinghimconstantlywiththeeyeofaffection，shehadbecomeawareofacuriousperversityinhistemperamentwhichcausedhermuchanxiety，andwouldhavecausedherstillmoreifshehadnotrecognizedthegermsofitinherownnature。ShecouldfancyRalphsuddenlysacrificinghisentirecareerforsomefantasticimagination；

somecauseorideaoreven(soherfancyran)forsomewomanseenfromarailwaytrain，hangingupclothesinabackyard。Whenhehadfoundthisbeautyorthiscause，noforce，sheknew，wouldavailtorestrainhimfrompursuitofit。ShesuspectedtheEastalso，andalwaysfidgetedherselfwhenshesawhimwithabookofIndiantravelsinhishand，asthoughheweresuckingcontagionfromthepage。Ontheotherhand，nocommonloveaffair，hadtherebeensuchathing，wouldhavecausedheramoment\'suneasinesswhereRalphwasconcerned。Hewasdestinedinherfancyforsomethingsplendidinthewayofsuccessorfailure，sheknewnotwhich。

Andyetnobodycouldhaveworkedharderordonebetterinalltherecognizedstagesofayoungman\'slifethanRalphhaddone，andJoanhadtogathermaterialsforherfearsfromtriflesinherbrother\'sbehaviorwhichwouldhaveescapedanyothereye。Itwasnaturalthatsheshouldbeanxious。Lifehadbeensoarduousforallofthemfromthestartthatshecouldnothelpdreadinganysuddenrelaxationofhisgraspuponwhatheheld，though，assheknewfrominspectionofherownlife，suchsuddenimpulsetoletgoandmakeawayfromthedisciplineandthedrudgerywassometimesalmostirresistible。ButwithRalph，ifhebrokeaway，sheknewthatitwouldbeonlytoputhimselfunderharsherconstraint；shefiguredhimtoilingthroughsandydesertsunderatropicalsuntofindthesourceofsomeriverorthehauntofsomefly；shefiguredhimlivingbythelaborofhishandsinsomecityslum，thevictimofoneofthoseterribletheoriesofrightandwrongwhichwerecurrentatthetime；shefiguredhimprisonerforlifeinthehouseofawomanwhohadseducedhimbyhermisfortunes。Halfproudly，andwhollyanxiously，sheframedsuchthoughts，astheysat，lateatnight，talkingtogetheroverthegas-stoveinRalph\'sbedroom。

ItislikelythatRalphwouldnothaverecognizedhisowndreamofafutureintheforecastswhichdisturbedhissister\'speaceofmind。

Certainly，ifanyoneofthemhadbeenputbeforehimhewouldhaverejecteditwithalaugh，asthesortoflifethatheldnoattractionsforhim。Hecouldnothavesaidhowitwasthathehadputtheseabsurdnotionsintohissister\'shead。Indeed，hepridedhimselfuponbeingwellbrokenintoalifeofhardwork，aboutwhichhehadnosortofillusions。Hisvisionofhisownfuture，unlikemanysuchforecasts，couldhavebeenmadepublicatanymomentwithoutablush；

heattributedtohimselfastrongbrain，andconferredonhimselfaseatintheHouseofCommonsattheageoffifty，amoderatefortune，and，withluck，anunimportantofficeinaLiberalGovernment。Therewasnothingextravagantinaforecastofthatkind，andcertainlynothingdishonorable。Nevertheless，ashissisterguessed，itneededallRalph\'sstrengthofwill，togetherwiththepressureofcircumstances，tokeephisfeetmovinginthepathwhichledthatway。

Itneeded，inparticular，aconstantrepetitionofaphrasetotheeffectthathesharedthecommonfate，founditbestofall，andwishedfornoother；andbyrepeatingsuchphrasesheacquiredpunctualityandhabitsofwork，andcouldveryplausiblydemonstratethattobeaclerkinasolicitor\'sofficewasthebestofallpossiblelives，andthatotherambitionswerevain。

But，likeallbeliefsnotgenuinelyheld，thisonedependedverymuchupontheamountofacceptanceitreceivedfromotherpeople，andinprivate，whenthepressureofpublicopinionwasremoved，Ralphlethimselfswingveryrapidlyawayfromhisactualcircumstancesuponstrangevoyageswhich，indeed，hewouldhavebeenashamedtodescribe。

Inthesedreams，ofcourse，hefiguredinnobleandromanticparts，butself-glorificationwasnottheonlymotiveofthem。Theygaveoutlettosomespiritwhichfoundnoworktodoinreallife，for，withthepessimismwhichhislotforceduponhim，Ralphhadmadeuphismindthattherewasnouseforwhat，contemptuouslyenough，hecalleddreams，intheworldwhichweinhabit。Itsometimesseemedtohimthatthisspiritwasthemostvaluablepossessionhehad；hethoughtthatbymeansofithecouldsetfloweringwastetractsoftheearth，curemanyills，orraiseupbeautywherenonenowexisted；itwas，too，afierceandpotentspiritwhichwoulddevourthedustybooksandparchmentsontheofficewallwithonelickofitstongue，andleavehiminaminutestandinginnakedness，ifhegavewaytoit。

Hisendeavor，formanyyears，hadbeentocontrolthespirit，andattheageoftwenty-ninehethoughthecouldpridehimselfuponaliferigidlydividedintothehoursofworkandthoseofdreams；thetwolivedsidebysidewithoutharmingeachother。Asamatteroffact，thiseffortatdisciplinehadbeenhelpedbytheinterestsofadifficultprofession，buttheoldconclusiontowhichRalphhadcomewhenheleftcollegestillheldswayinhismind，andtingedhisviewswiththemelancholybeliefthatlifeformostpeoplecompelstheexerciseofthelowergiftsandwastesthepreciousones，untilitforcesustoagreethatthereislittlevirtue，aswellaslittleprofit，inwhatonceseemedtousthenoblestpartofourinheritance。

Denhamwasnotaltogetherpopulareitherinhisofficeoramonghisfamily。Hewastoopositive，atthisstageofhiscareer，astowhatwasrightandwhatwrong，tooproudofhisself-control，and，asisnaturalinthecaseofpersonsnotaltogetherhappyorwellsuitedintheirconditions，tooapttoprovethefollyofcontentment，ifhefoundanyonewhoconfessedtothatweakness。Intheofficehisratherostentatiousefficiencyannoyedthosewhotooktheirownworkmorelightly，and，iftheyforetoldhisadvancement，itwasnotaltogethersympathetically。Indeed，heappearedtoberatherahardandself-

sufficientyoungman，withaqueertemper，andmannersthatwereuncompromisinglyabrupt，whowasconsumedwithadesiretogetonintheworld，whichwasnatural，thesecriticsthought，inamanofnomeans，butnotengaging。

Theyoungmenintheofficehadaperfectrighttotheseopinions，becauseDenhamshowednoparticulardesirefortheirfriendship。Helikedthemwellenough，butshutthemupinthatcompartmentoflifewhichwasdevotedtowork。Hitherto，indeed，hehadfoundlittledifficultyinarranginghislifeasmethodicallyashearrangedhisexpenditure，butaboutthistimehebegantoencounterexperienceswhichwerenotsoeasytoclassify。MaryDatchethadbegunthisconfusiontwoyearsagobyburstingintolaughteratsomeremarkofhis，almostthefirsttimetheymet。Shecouldnotexplainwhyitwas。

Shethoughthimquiteastonishinglyodd。WhenheknewherwellenoughtotellherhowhespentMondayandWednesdayandSaturday，shewasstillmoreamused；shelaughedtillhelaughed，too，withoutknowingwhy。ItseemedtoherveryoddthatheshouldknowasmuchaboutbreedingbulldogsasanymaninEngland；thathehadacollectionofwildflowersfoundnearLondon；andhisweeklyvisittooldMissTrotteratEaling，whowasanauthorityuponthescienceofHeraldry，neverfailedtoexciteherlaughter。Shewantedtoknoweverything，eventhekindofcakewhichtheoldladysuppliedontheseoccasions；

andtheirsummerexcursionstochurchesintheneighborhoodofLondonforthepurposeoftakingrubbingsofthebrassesbecamemostimportantfestivals，fromtheinterestshetookinthem。Insixmonthssheknewmoreabouthisoddfriendsandhobbiesthanhisownbrothersandsistersknew，afterlivingwithhimallhislife；andRalphfoundthisverypleasant，thoughdisordering，forhisownviewofhimselfhadalwaysbeenprofoundlyserious。

CertainlyitwasverypleasanttobewithMaryDatchetandtobecome，directlythedoorwasshut，quiteadifferentsortofperson，eccentricandlovable，withscarcelyanylikenesstotheselfmostpeopleknew。Hebecamelessserious，andratherlessdictatorialathome，forhewasapttohearMarylaughingathim，andtellinghim，asshewasfondofdoing，thatheknewnothingatallaboutanything。Shemadehim，also，takeaninterestinpublicquestions，forwhichshehadanaturalliking；andwasinprocessofturninghimfromTorytoRadical，afteracourseofpublicmeetings，whichbeganbyboringhimacutely，andendedbyexcitinghimevenmorethantheyexcitedher。

Buthewasreserved；whenideasstartedupinhismind，hedividedthemautomaticallyintothosehecoulddiscusswithMary，andthosehemustkeepforhimself。Sheknewthisanditinterestedher，forshewasaccustomedtofindyoungmenveryreadytotalkaboutthemselves，andhadcometolistentothemasonelistenstochildren，withoutanythoughtofherself。ButwithRalph，shehadverylittleofthismaternalfeeling，and，inconsequence，amuchkeenersenseofherownindividuality。

LateoneafternoonRalphsteppedalongtheStrandtoaninterviewwithalawyeruponbusiness。Theafternoonlightwasalmostover，andalreadystreamsofgreenishandyellowishartificiallightwerebeingpouredintoanatmospherewhich，incountrylanes，wouldnowhavebeensoftwiththesmokeofwoodfires；andonbothsidesoftheroadtheshopwindowswerefullofsparklingchainsandhighlypolishedleathercases，whichstooduponshelvesmadeofthickplate-glass。NoneofthesedifferentobjectswasseenseparatelybyDenham，butfromallofthemhedrewanimpressionofstirandcheerfulness。ThusitcameaboutthathesawKatharineHilberycomingtowardshim，andlookedstraightather，asifshewereonlyanillustrationoftheargumentthatwasgoingforwardinhismind。Inthisspirithenoticedtherathersetexpressioninhereyes，andtheslight，half-consciousmovementofherlips，which，togetherwithherheightandthedistinctionofherdress，madeherlookasifthescurryingcrowdimpededher，andherdirectionweredifferentfromtheirs。Henoticedthiscalmly；butsuddenly，ashepassedher，hishandsandkneesbegantotremble，andhisheartbeatpainfully。Shedidnotseehim，andwentonrepeatingtoherselfsomelineswhichhadstucktohermemory:

“It\'slifethatmatters，nothingbutlife——theprocessofdiscovering——theeverlastingandperpetualprocess，notthediscoveryitselfatall。“Thusoccupied，shedidnotseeDenham，andhehadnotthecouragetostopher。ButimmediatelythewholesceneintheStrandworethatcuriouslookoforderandpurposewhichisimpartedtothemostheterogeneousthingswhenmusicsounds；andsopleasantwasthisimpressionthathewasverygladthathehadnotstoppedher，afterall。Itgrewslowlyfainter，butlasteduntilhestoodoutsidethebarrister\'schambers。

Whenhisinterviewwiththebarristerwasover，itwastoolatetogobacktotheoffice。HissightofKatharinehadputhimqueerlyoutoftuneforadomesticevening。Whereshouldhego？TowalkthroughthestreetsofLondonuntilhecametoKatharine\'shouse，tolookupatthewindowsandfancyherwithin，seemedtohimpossibleforamoment；

andthenherejectedtheplanalmostwithablushas，withacuriousdivisionofconsciousness，oneplucksaflowersentimentallyandthrowsitaway，withablush，whenitisactuallypicked。No，hewouldgoandseeMaryDatchet。Bythistimeshewouldbebackfromherwork。

ToseeRalphappearunexpectedlyinherroomthrewMaryforasecondoffherbalance。Shehadbeencleaningknivesinherlittlescullery，andwhenshehadlethiminshewentbackagain，andturnedonthecold-watertaptoitsfullestvolume，andthenturneditoffagain。

“Now，“shethoughttoherself，asshescrewedittight，“I\'mnotgoingtoletthesesillyideascomeintomyhead……Don\'tyouthinkMr。

Asquithdeservestobehanged？“shecalledbackintothesitting-room，andwhenshejoinedhim，dryingherhands，shebegantotellhimaboutthelatestevasiononthepartoftheGovernmentwithrespecttotheWomen\'sSuffrageBill。Ralphdidnotwanttotalkaboutpolitics，buthecouldnothelprespectingMaryfortakingsuchaninterestinpublicquestions。Helookedatherassheleantforward，pokingthefire，andexpressingherselfveryclearlyinphraseswhichboredistantlythetaintoftheplatform，andhethought，“HowabsurdMarywouldthinkmeifsheknewthatIalmostmadeupmymindtowalkallthewaytoChelseainordertolookatKatharine\'swindows。Shewouldn\'tunderstandit，butIlikeherverymuchassheis。“

Forsometimetheydiscussedwhatthewomenhadbetterdo；andasRalphbecamegenuinelyinterestedinthequestion，Maryunconsciouslyletherattentionwander，andagreatdesirecameoverhertotalktoRalphaboutherownfeelings；or，atanyrate，aboutsomethingpersonal，sothatshemightseewhathefeltforher；butsheresistedthiswish。Butshecouldnotpreventhimfromfeelingherlackofinterestinwhathewassaying，andgraduallytheybothbecamesilent。

OnethoughtafteranothercameupinRalph\'smind，buttheywereall，insomeway，connectedwithKatharine，orwithvaguefeelingsofromanceandadventuresuchassheinspired。ButhecouldnottalktoMaryaboutsuchthoughts；andhepitiedherforknowingnothingofwhathewasfeeling。“Here，“hethought，“iswherewedifferfromwomen；theyhavenosenseofromance。“

“Well，Mary，“hesaidatlength，“whydon\'tyousaysomethingamusing？“

Histonewascertainlyprovoking，but，asageneralrule，Marywasnoteasilyprovoked。Thisevening，however，sherepliedrathersharply:

“BecauseI\'vegotnothingamusingtosay，Isuppose。“

Ralphthoughtforamoment，andthenremarked:

“Youworktoohard。Idon\'tmeanyourhealth，“headded，asshelaughedscornfully，“Imeanthatyouseemtometobegettingwrappedupinyourwork。“

“Andisthatabadthing？“sheasked，shadinghereyeswithherhand。

“Ithinkitis，“hereturnedabruptly。

“Butonlyaweekagoyouweresayingtheopposite。“Hertonewasdefiant，butshebecamecuriouslydepressed。Ralphdidnotperceiveit，andtookthisopportunityoflecturingher，andexpressinghislatestviewsupontheproperconductoflife。Shelistened，buthermainimpressionwasthathehadbeenmeetingsomeonewhohadinfluencedhim。Hewastellingherthatsheoughttoreadmore，andtoseethattherewereotherpointsofviewasdeservingofattentionasherown。Naturally，havinglastseenhimashelefttheofficeincompanywithKatharine，sheattributedthechangetoher；itwaslikelythatKatharine，onleavingthescenewhichshehadsoclearlydespised，hadpronouncedsomesuchcriticism，orsuggesteditbyherownattitude。ButsheknewthatRalphwouldneveradmitthathehadbeeninfluencedbyanybody。

“Youdon\'treadenough，Mary，“hewassaying。“Yououghttoreadmorepoetry。“

ItwastruethatMary\'sreadinghadbeenratherlimitedtosuchworksassheneededtoknowforthesakeofexaminations；andhertimeforreadinginLondonwasverylittle。Forsomereason，noonelikestobetoldthattheydonotreadenoughpoetry，butherresentmentwasonlyvisibleinthewayshechangedthepositionofherhands，andinthefixedlookinhereyes。Andthenshethoughttoherself，“I\'mbehavingexactlyasIsaidIwouldn\'tbehave，“whereuponsherelaxedallhermusclesandsaid，inherreasonableway:

“TellmewhatIoughttoread，then。“

RalphhadunconsciouslybeenirritatedbyMary，andhenowdeliveredhimselfofafewnamesofgreatpoetswhichwerethetextforadiscourseupontheimperfectionofMary\'scharacterandwayoflife。

“Youlivewithyourinferiors，“hesaid，warmingunreasonably，asheknew，tohistext。“Andyougetintoagroovebecause，onthewhole，it\'sratherapleasantgroove。Andyoutendtoforgetwhatyou\'retherefor。You\'vethefemininehabitofmakingmuchofdetails。Youdon\'tseewhenthingsmatterandwhentheydon\'t。Andthat\'swhat\'stheruinofalltheseorganizations。That\'swhytheSuffragistshaveneverdoneanythingalltheseyears。What\'sthepointofdrawing-roommeetingsandbazaars？Youwanttohaveideas，Mary；getholdofsomethingbig；nevermindmakingmistakes，butdon\'tniggle。Whydon\'tyouthrowitallupforayear，andtravel？——seesomethingoftheworld。Don\'tbecontenttolivewithhalfadozenpeopleinabackwaterallyourlife。Butyouwon\'t，“heconcluded。

“I\'verathercometothatwayofthinkingmyself——aboutmyself，I

mean，“saidMary，surprisinghimbyheracquiescence。“Ishouldliketogosomewherefaraway。“

Foramomenttheywerebothsilent。Ralphthensaid:

“Butlookhere，Mary，youhaven\'tbeentakingthisseriously，haveyou？“Hisirritationwasspent，andthedepression，whichshecouldnotkeepoutofhervoice，madehimfeelsuddenlywithremorsethathehadbeenhurtingher。

“Youwon\'tgoaway，willyou？“heasked。Andasshesaidnothing，headded，“Ohno，don\'tgoaway。“

“Idon\'tknowexactlywhatImeantodo，“shereplied。Shehoveredonthevergeofsomediscussionofherplans，butshereceivednoencouragement。Hefellintooneofhisqueersilences，whichseemedtoMary，inspiteofallherprecautions，tohavereferencetowhatshealsocouldnotpreventherselffromthinkingabout——theirfeelingforeachotherandtheirrelationship。Shefeltthatthetwolinesofthoughtboredtheirwayinlong，paralleltunnelswhichcameverycloseindeed，butneverranintoeachother。

Whenhehadgone，andheleftherwithoutbreakinghissilencemorethanwasneededtowishhergoodnight，shesatonforatime，reviewingwhathehadsaid。Ifloveisadevastatingfirewhichmeltsthewholebeingintoonemountaintorrent，MarywasnomoreinlovewithDenhamthanshewasinlovewithherpokerorhertongs。Butprobablytheseextremepassionsareveryrare，andthestateofmindthusdepictedbelongstotheverylaststagesoflove，whenthepowertoresisthasbeeneatenaway，weekbyweekordaybyday。Likemostintelligentpeople，Marywassomethingofanegoist，totheextent，thatis，ofattachinggreatimportancetowhatshefelt，andshewasbynatureenoughofamoralisttoliketomakecertain，fromtimetotime，thatherfeelingswerecreditabletoher。WhenRalphlefthershethoughtoverherstateofmind，andcametotheconclusionthatitwouldbeagoodthingtolearnalanguage——sayItalianorGerman。Shethenwenttoadrawer，whichshehadtounlock，andtookfromitcertaindeeplyscoredmanuscriptpages。Shereadthemthrough，lookingupfromherreadingeverynowandthenandthinkingveryintentlyforafewsecondsaboutRalph。Shedidherbesttoverifyallthequalitiesinhimwhichgaverisetoemotionsinher；andpersuadedherselfthatsheaccountedreasonablyforthemall。Thenshelookedbackagainathermanuscript，anddecidedthattowritegrammaticalEnglishproseisthehardestthingintheworld。ButshethoughtaboutherselfagreatdealmorethanshethoughtaboutgrammaticalEnglishproseoraboutRalphDenham，anditmaythereforebedisputedwhethershewasinlove，or，ifso，towhichbranchofthefamilyherpassionbelonged。

CHAPTERXI

It\'slifethatmatters，nothingbutlife——theprocessofdiscovering，theeverlastingandperpetualprocess，“saidKatharine，asshepassedunderthearchway，andsointothewidespaceofKing\'sBenchWalk，“notthediscoveryitselfatall。“ShespokethelastwordslookingupatRodney\'swindows，whichwereasemilucentredcolor，inherhonor，assheknew。Hehadaskedhertoteawithhim。Butshewasinamoodwhenitisalmostphysicallydisagreeabletointerruptthestrideofone\'sthought，andshewalkedupanddowntwoorthreetimesunderthetreesbeforeapproachinghisstaircase。Shelikedgettingholdofsomebookwhichneitherherfatherormotherhadread，andkeepingittoherself，andgnawingitscontentsinprivacy，andponderingthemeaningwithoutsharingherthoughtswithanyone，orhavingtodecidewhetherthebookwasagoodoneorabadone。ThiseveningshehadtwistedthewordsofDostoevskytosuithermood——afatalisticmood——

toproclaimthattheprocessofdiscoverywaslife，andthat，presumably，thenatureofone\'sgoalmatterednotatall。Shesatdownforamomentupononeoftheseats；feltherselfcarriedalongintheswirlofmanythings；decided，inhersuddenway，thatitwastimetoheaveallthisthinkingoverboard，androse，leavingafishmonger\'sbasketontheseatbehindher。TwominuteslaterherrapsoundedwithauthorityuponRodney\'sdoor。

“Well，William，“shesaid，“I\'mafraidI\'mlate。“

Itwastrue，buthewassogladtoseeherthatheforgothisannoyance。Hehadbeenoccupiedforoveranhourinmakingthingsreadyforher，andhenowhadhisrewardinseeingherlookrightandleft，assheslippedhercloakfromhershoulders，withevidentsatisfaction，althoughshesaidnothing。Hehadseenthatthefireburntwell；jam-potswereonthetable，tincoversshoneinthefender，andtheshabbycomfortoftheroomwasextreme。Hewasdressedinhisoldcrimsondressing-gown，whichwasfadedirregularly，andhadbrightnewpatchesonit，likethepalergrasswhichonefindsonliftingastone。Hemadethetea，andKatharinedrewoffhergloves，andcrossedherlegswithagesturethatwasrathermasculineinitsease。Nordidtheytalkmuchuntiltheyweresmokingcigarettesoverthefire，havingplacedtheirteacupsuponthefloorbetweenthem。

Theyhadnotmetsincetheyhadexchangedlettersabouttheirrelationship。Katharine\'sanswertohisprotestationhadbeenshortandsensible。Halfasheetofnotepapercontainedthewholeofit，forshemerelyhadtosaythatshewasnotinlovewithhim，andsocouldnotmarryhim，buttheirfriendshipwouldcontinue，shehoped，unchanged。Shehadaddedapostscriptinwhichshestated，“Ilikeyoursonnetverymuch。“

SofarasWilliamwasconcerned，thisappearanceofeasewasassumed。

Threetimesthatafternoonhehaddressedhimselfinatail-coat，andthreetimeshehaddiscardeditforanolddressing-gown；threetimeshehadplacedhispearltie-pininposition，andthreetimeshehadremoveditagain，thelittlelooking-glassinhisroombeingthewitnessofthesechangesofmind。Thequestionwas，whichwouldKatharinepreferonthisparticularafternooninDecember？Hereadhernoteoncemore，andthepostscriptaboutthesonnetsettledthematter。Evidentlysheadmiredmostthepoetinhim；andasthis，onthewhole，agreedwithhisownopinion，hedecidedtoerr，ifanything，onthesideofshabbiness。Hisdemeanorwasalsoregulatedwithpremeditation；hespokelittle，andonlyonimpersonalmatters；

hewishedhertorealizethatinvisitinghimforthefirsttimealoneshewasdoingnothingremarkable，although，infact，thatwasapointaboutwhichhewasnotatallsure。

CertainlyKatharineseemedquiteunmovedbyanydisturbingthoughts；

andifhehadbeencompletelymasterofhimself，hemight，indeed，havecomplainedthatshewasatrifleabsent-minded。Theease，thefamiliarityofthesituationalonewithRodney，amongteacupsandcandles，hadmoreeffectuponherthanwasapparent。Sheaskedtolookathisbooks，andthenathispictures。ItwaswhilesheheldphotographfromtheGreekinherhandsthatsheexclaimed，impulsively，ifincongruously:

“Myoysters！Ihadabasket，“sheexplained，“andI\'veleftitsomewhere。UncleDudleydineswithusto-night。WhatintheworldhaveIdonewiththem？“

Sheroseandbegantowanderabouttheroom。Williamrosealso，andstoodinfrontofthefire，muttering，“Oysters，oysters——yourbasketofoysters！“butthoughhelookedvaguelyhereandthere，asiftheoystersmightbeonthetopofthebookshelf，hiseyesreturnedalwaystoKatharine。Shedrewthecurtainandlookedoutamongthescantyleavesoftheplane-trees。

“Ihadthem，“shecalculated，“intheStrand；Isatonaseat。Well，nevermind，“sheconcluded，turningbackintotheroomabruptly，“I

daresaysomeoldcreatureisenjoyingthembythistime。“

“Ishouldhavethoughtthatyouneverforgotanything，“Williamremarked，astheysettleddownagain。

“That\'spartofthemythaboutme，Iknow，“Katharinereplied。

“AndIwonder，“Williamproceeded，withsomecaution，“whatthetruthaboutyouis？ButIknowthissortofthingdoesn\'tinterestyou，“headdedhastily，withatouchofpeevishness。

“No；itdoesn\'tinterestmeverymuch，“sherepliedcandidly。

“Whatshallwetalkaboutthen？“heasked。

Shelookedratherwhimsicallyroundthewallsoftheroom。

“Howeverwestart，weendbytalkingaboutthesamething——aboutpoetry，Imean。Iwonderifyourealize，William，thatI\'veneverreadevenShakespeare？It\'sratherwonderfulhowI\'vekeptitupalltheseyears。“

“You\'vekeptitupfortenyearsverybeautifully，asfarasI\'mconcerned，“hesaid。

“Tenyears？Solongasthat？“

“AndIdon\'tthinkit\'salwaysboredyou，“headded。

Shelookedintothefiresilently。ShecouldnotdenythatthesurfaceofherfeelingwasabsolutelyunruffledbyanythinginWilliam\'scharacter；onthecontrary，shefeltcertainthatshecoulddealwithwhateverturnedup。Hegaveherpeace，inwhichshecouldthinkofthingsthatwerefarremovedfromwhattheytalkedabout。Evennow，whenhesatwithinayardofher，howeasilyhermindrangedhitherandthither！Suddenlyapicturepresenteditselfbeforeher，withoutanyeffortonherpartaspictureswill，ofherselfintheseveryrooms；shehadcomeinfromalecture，andsheheldapileofbooksinherhand，scientificbooks，andbooksaboutmathematicsandastronomywhichshehadmastered。Sheputthemdownonthetableoverthere。Itwasapicturepluckedfromherlifetwoorthreeyearshence，whenshewasmarriedtoWilliam；buthereshecheckedherselfabruptly。

ShecouldnotentirelyforgetWilliam\'spresence，because，inspiteofhiseffortstocontrolhimself，hisnervousnesswasapparent。Onsuchoccasionshiseyesprotrudedmorethanever，andhisfacehadmorethanevertheappearanceofbeingcoveredwithathincracklingskin，throughwhicheveryflushofhisvolatilebloodshoweditselfinstantly。Bythistimehehadshapedsomanysentencesandrejectedthem，feltsomanyimpulsesandsubduedthem，thathewasauniformscarlet。

“Youmaysayyoudon\'treadbooks，“heremarked，“but，allthesame，youknowaboutthem。Besides，whowantsyoutobelearned？Leavethattothepoordevilswho\'vegotnothingbettertodo。You——you——ahem！——“

“Well，then，whydon\'tyoureadmesomethingbeforeIgo？“saidKatharine，lookingatherwatch。

“Katharine，you\'veonlyjustcome！Letmeseenow，whathaveIgottoshowyou？“Herose，andstirredaboutthepapersonhistable，asifindoubt；hethenpickedupamanuscript，andafterspreadingitsmoothlyuponhisknee，helookedupatKatharinesuspiciously。Hecaughthersmiling。

“Ibelieveyouonlyaskmetoreadoutofkindness，“heburstout。

“Let\'sfindsomethingelsetotalkabout。Whohaveyoubeenseeing？“

“Idon\'tgenerallyaskthingsoutofkindness，“Katharineobserved；

“however，ifyoudon\'twanttoread，youneedn\'t。“

Williamgaveaqueersnortofexasperation，andopenedhismanuscriptoncemore，thoughhekepthiseyesuponherfaceashedidso。Nofacecouldhavebeengraverormorejudicial。

“Onecantrustyou，certainly，tosayunpleasantthings，“hesaid，smoothingoutthepage，clearinghisthroat，andreadinghalfastanzatohimself。“Ahem！ThePrincessislostinthewood，andshehearsthesoundofahorn。(Thiswouldallbeveryprettyonthestage，butI

can\'tgettheeffecthere。)Anyhow，Sylvanoenters，accompaniedbytherestofthegentlemenofGratian\'scourt。Ibeginwherehesoliloquizes。“Hejerkedhisheadandbegantoread。

AlthoughKatharinehadjustdisclaimedanyknowledgeofliterature，shelistenedattentively。Atleast，shelistenedtothefirsttwenty-

fivelinesattentively，andthenshefrowned。HerattentionwasonlyarousedagainwhenRodneyraisedhisfinger——asign，sheknew，thatthemeterwasabouttochange。

Histheorywasthateverymoodhasitsmeter。Hismasteryofmeterswasverygreat；and，ifthebeautyofadramadependeduponthevarietyofmeasuresinwhichthepersonagesspeak，Rodney\'splaysmusthavechallengedtheworksofShakespeare。Katharine\'signoranceofShakespearedidnotpreventherfromfeelingfairlycertainthatplaysshouldnotproduceasenseofchillstuporintheaudience，suchasovercameherasthelinesflowedon，sometimeslongandsometimesshort，butalwaysdeliveredwiththesameliltofvoice，whichseemedtonaileachlinefirmlyontothesamespotinthehearer\'sbrain。

Still，shereflected，thesesortsofskillarealmostexclusivelymasculine；womenneitherpracticethemnorknowhowtovaluethem；andone\'shusband\'sproficiencyinthisdirectionmightlegitimatelyincreaseone\'srespectforhim，sincemystificationisnobadbasisforrespect。NoonecoulddoubtthatWilliamwasascholar。ThereadingendedwiththefinishoftheAct；Katharinehadpreparedalittlespeech。

“Thatseemstomeextremelywellwritten，William；although，ofcourse，Idon\'tknowenoughtocriticizeindetail。“

“Butit\'stheskillthatstrikesyou——nottheemotion？“

“Inafragmentlikethat，ofcourse，theskillstrikesonemost。“

“Butperhaps——haveyoutimetolistentoonemoreshortpiece？thescenebetweenthelovers？There\'ssomerealfeelinginthat，Ithink。

Denhamagreesthatit\'sthebestthingI\'vedone。“

“You\'vereadittoRalphDenham？“Katharineinquired，withsurprise。

“He\'sabetterjudgethanIam。Whatdidhesay？“

“MydearKatharine，“Rodneyexclaimed，“Idon\'taskyouforcriticism，asIshouldaskascholar。IdaresaythereareonlyfivemeninEnglandwhoseopinionofmyworkmattersastrawtome。ButItrustyouwherefeelingisconcerned。IhadyouinmymindoftenwhenIwaswritingthosescenes。Ikeptaskingmyself，\'NowisthisthesortofthingKatharinewouldlike？\'IalwaysthinkofyouwhenI\'mwriting，Katharine，evenwhenit\'sthesortofthingyouwouldn\'tknowabout。

AndI\'drather——yes，IreallybelieveI\'drather——youthoughtwellofmywritingthananyoneintheworld。“

ThiswassogenuineatributetohistrustinherthatKatharinewastouched。

“Youthinktoomuchofmealtogether，William，“shesaid，forgettingthatshehadnotmeanttospeakinthisway。

“No，Katharine，Idon\'t，“hereplied，replacinghismanuscriptinthedrawer。“Itdoesmegoodtothinkofyou。“

Soquietananswer，followedasitwasbynoexpressionoflove，butmerelybythestatementthatifshemustgohewouldtakehertotheStrand，andwould，ifshecouldwaitamoment，changehisdressing-

gownforacoat，movedhertothewarmestfeelingofaffectionforhimthatshehadyetexperienced。Whilehechangedinthenextroom，shestoodbythebookcase，takingdownbooksandopeningthem，butreadingnothingontheirpages。

ShefeltcertainthatshewouldmarryRodney。Howcouldoneavoidit？

Howcouldonefindfaultwithit？Hereshesighed，and，puttingthethoughtofmarriageaway，fellintoadreamstate，inwhichshebecameanotherperson，andthewholeworldseemedchanged。Beingafrequentvisitortothatworld，shecouldfindherwaythereunhesitatingly。Ifshehadtriedtoanalyzeherimpressions，shewouldhavesaidthattheredwelttherealitiesoftheappearanceswhichfigureinourworld；sodirect，powerful，andunimpededwerehersensationsthere，comparedwiththosecalledforthinactuallife。Theredweltthethingsonemighthavefelt，hadtherebeencause；theperfecthappinessofwhichherewetastethefragment；thebeautyseenhereinflyingglimpsesonly。Nodoubtmuchofthefurnitureofthisworldwasdrawndirectlyfromthepast，andevenfromtheEnglandoftheElizabethanage。Howevertheembellishmentofthisimaginaryworldmightchange，twoqualitieswereconstantinit。Itwasaplacewherefeelingswereliberatedfromtheconstraintwhichtherealworldputsuponthem；andtheprocessofawakenmentwasalwaysmarkedbyresignationandakindofstoicalacceptanceoffacts。Shemetnoacquaintancethere，asDenhamdid，miraculouslytransfigured；sheplayednoheroicpart。Buttherecertainlyshelovedsomemagnanimoushero，andastheyswepttogetheramongtheleaf-hungtreesofanunknownworld，theysharedthefeelingswhichcamefreshandfastasthewavesontheshore。Butthesandsofherliberationwererunningfast；eventhroughtheforestbranchescamesoundsofRodneymovingthingsonhisdressing-table；andKatharinewokeherselffromthisexcursionbyshuttingthecoverofthebookshewasholding，andreplacingitinthebookshelf。

“William，“shesaid，speakingratherfaintlyatfirst，likeonesendingavoicefromsleeptoreachtheliving。“William，“sherepeatedfirmly，“ifyoustillwantmetomarryyou，Iwill。“

Perhapsitwasthatnomancouldexpecttohavethemostmomentousquestionofhislifesettledinavoicesolevel，sotoneless，sodevoidofjoyorenergy。AtanyrateWilliammadenoanswer。Shewaitedstoically。Amomentlaterhesteppedbrisklyfromhisdressing-room，andobservedthatifshewantedtobuymoreoystershethoughtheknewwheretheycouldfindafishmonger\'sshopstillopen。

Shebreatheddeeplyasighofrelief。

ExtractfromalettersentafewdayslaterbyMrs。Hilberytohersister-in-law，Mrs。Milvain:

“……Howstupidofmetoforgetthenameinmytelegram。Suchanice，rich，Englishname，too，and，inaddition，hehasallthegracesofintellect；hehasreadliterallyEVERYTHING。ItellKatharine，I

shallalwaysputhimonmyrightsideatdinner，soastohavehimbymewhenpeoplebegintalkingaboutcharactersinShakespeare。Theywon\'tberich，butthey\'llbevery，veryhappy。Iwassittinginmyroomlateonenight，feelingthatnothingnicewouldeverhappentomeagain，whenIheardKatharineoutsideinthepassage，andIthoughttomyself，\'ShallIcallherin？\'andthenIthought(inthathopeless，drearywayonedoesthink，withthefiregoingoutandone\'sbirthdayjustover)，\'WhyshouldIlaymytroublesonHER？\'Butmylittleself-

controlhaditsreward，fornextmomentshetappedatthedoorandcamein，andsatontherug，andthoughweneitherofussaidanything，IfeltsohappyallofasecondthatIcouldn\'thelpcrying，\'Oh，Katharine，whenyoucometomyage，howIhopeyou\'llhaveadaughter，too！\'YouknowhowsilentKatharineis。Shewassosilent，forsuchalongtime，thatinmyfoolish，nervousstateIdreadedsomething，Idon\'tquiteknowwhat。Andthenshetoldmehow，afterall，shehadmadeuphermind。Shehadwritten。Sheexpectedhimto-morrow。AtfirstIwasn\'tgladatall。Ididn\'twanthertomarryanyone；butwhenshesaid，\'Itwillmakenodifference。Ishallalwayscareforyouandfathermost，\'thenIsawhowselfishIwas，andItoldhershemustgivehimeverything，everything，everything！I

toldherIshouldbethankfultocomesecond。Butwhy，wheneverything\'sturnedoutjustasonealwayshopeditwouldturnout，whythencanonedonothingbutcry，nothingbutfeeladesolateoldwomanwhoselife\'sbeenafailure，andnowisnearlyover，andageissocruel？ButKatharinesaidtome，\'Iamhappy。I\'mveryhappy。\'AndthenIthought，thoughitallseemedsodesperatelydismalatthetime，Katharinehadsaidshewashappy，andIshouldhaveason，anditwouldallturnoutsomuchmorewonderfullythanIcouldpossiblyimagine，forthoughthesermonsdon\'tsayso，Idobelievetheworldismeantforustobehappyin。Shetoldmethattheywouldlivequitenearus，andseeuseveryday；andshewouldgoonwiththeLife，andweshouldfinishitaswehadmeantto。And，afterall，itwouldbefarmorehorridifshedidn\'tmarry——orsupposeshemarriedsomeonewecouldn\'tendure？Supposeshehadfalleninlovewithsomeonewhowasmarriedalready？

“Andthoughoneneverthinksanyonegoodenoughforthepeopleone\'sfondof，hehasthekindest，truestinstincts，I\'msure，andthoughheseemsnervousandhismannerisnotcommanding，Ionlythinkthesethingsbecauseit\'sKatharine。AndnowI\'vewrittenthis，itcomesovermethat，ofcourse，allthetime，Katharinehaswhathehasn\'t。

Shedoescommand，sheisn\'tnervous；itcomesnaturallytohertoruleandcontrol。It\'stimethatsheshouldgiveallthistosomeonewhowillneedherwhenwearen\'tthere，saveinourspirits，forwhateverpeoplesay，I\'msureIshallcomebacktothiswonderfulworldwhereone\'sbeensohappyandsomiserable，where，evennow，IseemtoseemyselfstretchingoutmyhandsforanotherpresentfromthegreatFairyTreewhoseboughsarestillhungwithenchantingtoys，thoughtheyarerarernow，perhaps，andbetweenthebranchesoneseesnolongerthebluesky，butthestarsandthetopsofthemountains。

“Onedoesn\'tknowanymore，doesone？Onehasn\'tanyadvicetogiveone\'schildren。Onecanonlyhopethattheywillhavethesamevisionandthesamepowertobelieve，withoutwhichlifewouldbesomeaningless。ThatiswhatIaskforKatharineandherhusband。“

CHAPTERXII

IsMr。Hilberyathome，orMrs。Hilbery？“Denhamasked，oftheparlor-

maidinChelsea，aweeklater。

“No，sir。ButMissHilberyisathome，“thegirlanswered。

Ralphhadanticipatedmanyanswers，butnotthisone，andnowitwasunexpectedlymadeplaintohimthatitwasthechanceofseeingKatharinethathadbroughthimallthewaytoChelseaonpretenceofseeingherfather。

Hemadesomeshowofconsideringthematter，andwastakenupstairstothedrawing-room。Asuponthatfirstoccasion，someweeksago，thedoorclosedasifitwereathousanddoorssoftlyexcludingtheworld；

andoncemoreRalphreceivedanimpressionofaroomfullofdeepshadows，firelight，unwaveringsilvercandleflames，andemptyspacestobecrossedbeforereachingtheroundtableinthemiddleoftheroom，withitsfrailburdenofsilvertraysandchinateacups。ButthistimeKatharinewastherebyherself；thevolumeinherhandshowedthatsheexpectednovisitors。

Ralphsaidsomethingabouthopingtofindherfather。

“Myfatherisout，“shereplied。“Butifyoucanwait，Iexpecthimsoon。“

Itmighthavebeenduemerelytopoliteness，butRalphfeltthatshereceivedhimalmostwithcordiality。Perhapsshewasboredbydrinkingteaandreadingabookallalone；atanyrate，shetossedthebookontoasofawithagestureofrelief。

“Isthatoneofthemodernswhomyoudespise？“heasked，smilingatthecarelessnessofhergesture。

“Yes，“shereplied。“Ithinkevenyouwoulddespisehim。“

“EvenI？“herepeated。“WhyevenI？“

“Yousaidyoulikedmodernthings；IsaidIhatedthem。“

Thiswasnotaveryaccuratereportoftheirconversationamongtherelics，perhaps，butRalphwasflatteredtothinkthatsherememberedanythingaboutit。

“OrdidIconfessthatIhatedallbooks？“shewenton，seeinghimlookupwithanairofinquiry。“Iforget——“

“Doyouhateallbooks？“heasked。

“ItwouldbeabsurdtosaythatIhateallbookswhenI\'veonlyreadten，perhaps；but——\'Hereshepulledherselfupshort。

“Well？“

“Yes，Idohatebooks，“shecontinued。“Whydoyouwanttobeforevertalkingaboutyourfeelings？That\'swhatIcan\'tmakeout。Andpoetry\'sallaboutfeelings——novelsareallaboutfeelings。“

Shecutacakevigorouslyintoslices，andprovidingatraywithbreadandbutterforMrs。Hilbery，whowasinherroomwithacold，sherosetogoupstairs。

Ralphheldthedooropenforher，andthenstoodwithclaspedhandsinthemiddleoftheroom。Hiseyeswerebright，and，indeed，hescarcelyknewwhethertheybehelddreamsorrealities。Alldownthestreetandonthedoorstep，andwhilehemountedthestairs，hisdreamofKatharinepossessedhim；onthethresholdoftheroomhehaddismissedit，inordertopreventtoopainfulacollisionbetweenwhathedreamtofherandwhatshewas。Andinfiveminutesshehadfilledtheshelloftheolddreamwiththefleshoflife；lookedwithfireoutofphantomeyes。Heglancedabouthimwithbewildermentatfindinghimselfamongherchairsandtables；theyweresolid，forhegraspedthebackofthechairinwhichKatharinehadsat；andyettheywereunreal；theatmospherewasthatofadream。Hesummonedallthefacultiesofhisspirittoseizewhattheminuteshadtogivehim；andfromthedepthsofhismindthereroseuncheckedajoyfulrecognitionofthetruththathumannaturesurpasses，initsbeauty，allthatourwildestdreamsbringushintsof。

Katharinecameintotheroomamomentlater。Hestoodwatchinghercometowardshim，andthoughthermorebeautifulandstrangethanhisdreamofher；fortherealKatharinecouldspeakthewordswhichseemedtocrowdbehindtheforeheadandinthedepthsoftheeyes，andthecommonestsentencewouldbeflashedonbythisimmortallight。Andsheoverflowedtheedgesofthedream；heremarkedthathersoftnesswaslikethatofsomevastsnowyowl；sheworearubyonherfinger。

“Mymotherwantsmetotellyou，“shesaid，“thatshehopesyouhavebegunyourpoem。Shesayseveryoneoughttowritepoetry……Allmyrelationswritepoetry，“shewenton。“Ican\'tbeartothinkofitsometimes——because，ofcourse，it\'snoneofitanygood。Butthenoneneedn\'treadit——“

“Youdon\'tencouragemetowriteapoem，“saidRalph。

“Butyou\'renotapoet，too，areyou？“sheinquired，turninguponhimwithalaugh。

“ShouldItellyouifIwere？“

“Yes。BecauseIthinkyouspeakthetruth，“shesaid，searchinghimforproofofthisapparently，witheyesnowalmostimpersonallydirect。Itwouldbeeasy，Ralphthought，toworshiponesofarremoved，andyetofsostraightanature；easytosubmitrecklesslytoher，withoutthoughtoffuturepain。

“Areyouapoet？“shedemanded。Hefeltthatherquestionhadanunexplainedweightofmeaningbehindit，asifshesoughtananswertoaquestionthatshedidnotask。

“No。Ihaven\'twrittenanypoetryforyears，“hereplied。“Butallthesame，Idon\'tagreewithyou。Ithinkit\'stheonlythingworthdoing。“

“Whydoyousaythat？“sheasked，almostwithimpatience，tappingherspoontwoorthreetimesagainstthesideofhercup。

“Why？“Ralphlaidhandsonthefirstwordsthatcametomind。

“Because，Isuppose，itkeepsanidealalivewhichmightdieotherwise。“

Acuriouschangecameoverherface，asiftheflameofhermindweresubdued；andshelookedathimironicallyandwiththeexpressionwhichhehadcalledsadbefore，forwantofabetternameforit。

“Idon\'tknowthatthere\'smuchsenseinhavingideals，“shesaid。

“Butyouhavethem，“herepliedenergetically。“Whydowecallthemideals？It\'sastupidword。Dreams，Imean——“

Shefollowedhiswordswithpartedlips，asthoughtoanswereagerlywhenhehaddone；butashesaid，“Dreams，Imean，“thedoorofthedrawing-roomswungopen，andsoremainedforaperceptibleinstant。

Theybothheldthemselvessilent，herlipsstillparted。

Faroff，theyheardtherustleofskirts。Thentheowneroftheskirtsappearedinthedoorway，whichshealmostfilled，nearlyconcealingthefigureofaverymuchsmallerladywhoaccompaniedher。

“Myaunts！“Katharinemurmured，underherbreath。Hertonehadahintoftragedyinit，butnoless，Ralphthought，thanthesituationrequired。SheaddressedthelargerladyasAuntMillicent；thesmallerwasAuntCelia，Mrs。Milvain，whohadlatelyundertakenthetaskofmarryingCyriltohiswife。Bothladies，butMrs。Cosham(AuntMillicent)inparticular，hadthatlookofheightened，smoothed，incarnadinedexistencewhichispropertoelderlyladiespayingcallsinLondonaboutfiveo\'clockintheafternoon。PortraitsbyRomney，seenthroughglass，havesomethingoftheirpink，mellowlook，theirbloomingsoftness，asofapricotshanginguponaredwallintheafternoonsun。Mrs。Coshamwassoappareledwithhangingmuffs，chains，andswingingdraperiesthatitwasimpossibletodetecttheshapeofahumanbeinginthemassofbrownandblackwhichfilledthearm-chair。Mrs。Milvainwasamuchslighterfigure；butthesamedoubtastothepreciselinesofhercontourfilledRalph，asheregardedthem，withdismalforeboding。Whatremarkofhiswouldeverreachthesefabulousandfantasticcharacters？——fortherewassomethingfantasticallyunrealinthecuriousswayingsandnoddingsofMrs。

Cosham，asifherequipmentincludedalargewirespring。Hervoicehadahigh-pitched，cooingnote，whichprolongedwordsandcutthemshortuntiltheEnglishlanguageseemednolongerfitforcommonpurposes。Inamomentofnervousness，soRalphthought，Katharinehadturnedoninnumerableelectriclights。ButMrs。Coshamhadgainedimpetus(perhapsherswayingmovementshadthatendinview)forsustainedspeech；andshenowaddressedRalphdeliberatelyandelaborately。

“IcomefromWoking，Mr。Popham。Youmaywellaskme，whyWoking？andtothatIanswer，forperhapsthehundredthtime，becauseofthesunsets。Wewentthereforthesunsets，butthatwasfive-and-twentyyearsago。Wherearethesunsetsnow？Alas！ThereisnosunsetnownearerthantheSouthCoast。“Herrichandromanticnoteswereaccompaniedbyawaveofalongwhitehand，which，whenwaved，gaveoffaflashofdiamonds，rubies，andemeralds。Ralphwonderedwhethershemoreresembledanelephant，withajeweledhead-dress，orasuperbcockatoo，balancedinsecurelyuponitsperch，andpeckingcapriciouslyatalumpofsugar。

“Wherearethesunsetsnow？“sherepeated。“Doyoufindsunsetsnow，Mr。Popham？“

“IliveatHighgate，“hereplied。

“AtHighgate？Yes，Highgatehasitscharms；yourUncleJohnlivedatHighgate，“shejerkedinthedirectionofKatharine。Shesankherheaduponherbreast，asifforamoment\'smeditation，whichpast，shelookedupandobserved:“IdaresaythereareveryprettylanesinHighgate。Icanrecollectwalkingwithyourmother，Katharine，throughlanesblossomingwithwildhawthorn。Butwhereisthehawthornnow？

YourememberthatexquisitedescriptioninDeQuincey，Mr。Popham？——

butIforget，you，inyourgeneration，withallyouractivityandenlightenment，atwhichIcanonlymarvel“——hereshedisplayedbothherbeautifulwhitehands——“donotreadDeQuincey。YouhaveyourBelloc，yourChesterton，yourBernardShaw——whyshouldyoureadDeQuincey？“

“ButIdoreadDeQuincey，“Ralphprotested，“morethanBellocandChesterton，anyhow。“

“Indeed！“exclaimedMrs。Cosham，withagestureofsurpriseandreliefmingled。“Youare，then，a\'raraavis\'inyourgeneration。IamdelightedtomeetanyonewhoreadsDeQuincey。“

Hereshehollowedherhandintoascreen，and，leaningtowardsKatharine，inquired，inaveryaudiblewhisper，“DoesyourfriendWRITE？“

“Mr。Denham，“saidKatharine，withmorethanherusualclearnessandfirmness，“writesfortheReview。Heisalawyer。“

“Theclean-shavenlips，showingtheexpressionofthemouth！I

recognizethematonce。Ialwaysfeelathomewithlawyers，Mr。

Denham——“

“Theyusedtocomeaboutsomuchintheolddays，“Mrs。Milvaininterposed，thefrail，silverynotesofhervoicefallingwiththesweettoneofanoldbell。

“YousayyouliveatHighgate，“shecontinued。“IwonderwhetheryouhappentoknowifthereisanoldhousecalledTempestLodgestillinexistence——anoldwhitehouseinagarden？“

Ralphshookhishead，andshesighed。

“Ah，no；itmusthavebeenpulleddownbythistime，withalltheotheroldhouses。Thereweresuchprettylanesinthosedays。ThatwashowyourunclemetyourAuntEmily，youknow，“sheaddressedKatharine。“Theywalkedhomethroughthelanes。“

“AsprigofMayinherbonnet，“Mrs。Coshamejaculated，reminiscently。

“AndnextSundayhehadvioletsinhisbuttonhole。Andthatwashowweguessed。“

Katharinelaughed。ShelookedatRalph。Hiseyesweremeditative，andshewonderedwhathefoundinthisoldgossiptomakehimpondersocontentedly。Shefelt，shehardlyknewwhy，acuriouspityforhim。

“UncleJohn——yes，\'poorJohn，\'youalwayscalledhim。Whywasthat？“

sheasked，tomakethemgoontalking，which，indeed，theyneededlittleinvitationtodo。

“Thatwaswhathisfather，oldSirRichard，alwayscalledhim。PoorJohn，orthefoolofthefamily，“Mrs。Milvainhastenedtoinformthem。“Theotherboysweresobrilliant，andhecouldneverpasshisexaminations，sotheysenthimtoIndia——alongvoyageinthosedays，poorfellow。Youhadyourownroom，youknow，andyoudiditup。Buthewillgethisknighthoodandapension，Ibelieve，“shesaid，turningtoRalph，“onlyitisnotEngland。“

“No，“Mrs。Coshamconfirmedher，“itisnotEngland。InthosedayswethoughtanIndianJudgeshipaboutequaltoacounty-courtjudgeshipathome。HisHonor——aprettytitle，butstill，notatthetopofthetree。However，“shesighed，“ifyouhaveawifeandsevenchildren，andpeoplenowadaysveryquicklyforgetyourfather\'sname——well，youhavetotakewhatyoucanget，“sheconcluded。

“AndIfancy，“Mrs。Milvainresumed，loweringhervoiceratherconfidentially，“thatJohnwouldhavedonemoreifithadn\'tbeenforhiswife，yourAuntEmily。Shewasaverygoodwoman，devotedtohim，ofcourse，butshewasnotambitiousforhim，andifawifeisn\'tambitiousforherhusband，especiallyinaprofessionlikethelaw，clientssoongettoknowofit。Inouryoungdays，Mr。Denham，weusedtosaythatweknewwhichofourfriendswouldbecomejudges，bylookingatthegirlstheymarried。Andsoitwas，andso，Ifancy，italwayswillbe。Idon\'tthink，“sheadded，summingupthesescatteredremarks，“thatanymanisreallyhappyunlesshesucceedsinhisprofession。“

Mrs。Coshamapprovedofthissentimentwithmoreponderoussagacityfromhersideofthetea-table，inthefirstplacebyswayingherhead，andinthesecondbyremarking:

“No，menarenotthesameaswomen。IfancyAlfredTennysonspokethetruthaboutthatasaboutmanyotherthings。HowIwishhe\'dlivedtowrite\'ThePrince\'——asequelto\'ThePrincess\'！IconfessI\'malmosttiredofPrincesses。Wewantsomeonetoshowuswhatagoodmancanbe。WehaveLauraandBeatrice，AntigoneandCordelia，butwehavenoheroicman。Howdoyou，asapoet，accountforthat，Mr。Denham？“

“I\'mnotapoet，“saidRalphgood-humoredly。“I\'monlyasolicitor。“

“Butyouwrite，too？“Mrs。Coshamdemanded，afraidlestsheshouldbebalkedofherpricelessdiscovery，ayoungmantrulydevotedtoliterature。

“Inmysparetime，“Denhamreassuredher。