第7章

……Yousee，Dick[heread]，Ioughttohavecutyou；butIfelttoocrazy——everythingseemssojollyathome，eventhisstuffyoldLondon。Ofcourse，Iwantedtotalktoyoubadly——thereareheapsofthingsonecan\'tsaybyletter——butIshouldhavebeensorryafterwards。Itoldmother。ShesaidIwasquiteright，butIdon\'tthinkshetookitin。Don\'tyoufeelthattheonlythingthatreallymattersistohaveanideal，andtokeepitsosafethatyoucanalwayslookforwardandfeelthatyouhavebeen——Ican\'texactlyexpressmymeaning。Sheltonlitacigaretteandfrowned。Itseemedtohimqueerthatsheshouldsetmorestorebyan"ideal"thanbythefactthattheyhadmetforthefirstandonlytimeinmanyweeks。

"Isupposeshe\'sright，"hethoughts——"Isupposeshe\'sright。I

oughtnottohavetriedtospeaktoher!"Asamatteroffact，hedidnotatallfeelthatshewasright。

CHAPTERXIII

AN"ATHOME"

OnTuesdaymorninghewanderedofftoPaddington，hopingforachanceviewofheronherwaydowntoHolmOaks；butthesenseoftheridiculous，onwhichhehadbeennurtured，wasstrongenoughtokeephimfromactuallyenteringthestationandlurkingaboutuntilshecame。WithapangofdisappointmentheretracedhisstepsfromPraedStreettothePark，andoncetheretriednofurthertowaylayher。

Hepaidaroundofcallsintheafternoon，mostlyonherrelations；

and，seekingoutAuntCharlotte，hedolorouslyrelatedhisencounterintheRow。Butshefoundit"rathernice，"andonhispressingherwithhisviews，shemurmuredthatitwas"quiteromantic，don\'tyouknow。"

"Still，it\'sveryhard，"saidShelton；andhewentawaydisconsolate。

Ashewasdressingfordinnerhiseyefellonacardannouncingthe"athome"ofoneofhisowncousins。Herhusbandwasacomposer，andhehadavagueideathathewouldfindatthehouseofacomposersomequiteunusuallyfreekindofatmosphere。Afterdiningattheclub，therefore，hesetoutforChelsea。Thepartywasheldinalargeroomontheground-floor，whichwasalreadycrowdedwithpeoplewhenSheltonentered。Theystoodorsataboutingroupswithsmilesfixedontheirlips，andthelightfromballoon-likelampsfellinpatchesontheirheadsandhandsandshoulders。Someonehadjustfinishedrenderingonthepianoacompositionofhisown。Anexpertcouldatoncehavepickedoutfromamongsttheapplaudingcompanythosewhoweremusiciansbyprofession，fortheireyessparkled，andacertainaciditypervadedtheirenthusiasm。Thisfreemasonryofprofessionalintoleranceflewfromonetotheotherlikeabreathofunanimity，andthefaintshruggingofshoulderswasasharmoniousasthoughoneofthehighwindowshadbeenopenedsuddenly，admittingadraughtofchillMayair。

Sheltonmadehiswayuptohiscousin——afragile，grey-hairedwomaninblackvelvetandVenetianlace，whosestarryeyesbeamedathim，untilherduties，afterthecustomofthesesocialgatherings，obligedhertobreakoffconversationjustasitbegantointeresthim。Hewaspassedontoanotherladywhowasalreadytalkingtotwogentlemen，and，theirvolubilitybeinggreaterthanhisown，hefellintothepositionofobserver。Insteadoftheprofoundquestionshehadsomehowexpectedtohearraised，everybodyseemedgossiping，orsearchingtheheartofsuchtopicsaswheretogothissummer，orhowtogetnewservants。Triflingwithcoffee-cups，theydissectedtheirfellowartistsinthesamewayashissocietyfriendsoftheothernighthaddissectedthefellow——"smart"；andthevarnishonthefloor，thepictures，andthepianowerereflectedonallthefacesaround。Sheltonmovedfromgrouptogroupdisconsolate。

Atall，imposingpersonstoodunderaJapaneseprintholdingthepalmofonehandoutspread；hisunwieldytrunkandthinlegswobbledinconcerttohisingratiatingvoice。

"War，"hewassaying，"isnotnecessary。Warisnotnecessary。I

hopeImakemyselfclear。Warisnotnecessary；itdependsonnationality，butnationalityisnotnecessary。"Heinclinedhisheadtooneside，"Whydowehavenationality？Letusdoawaywithboundaries——letushavethewarfareofcommerce。IfIseeFrancelookingatBrighton"——helaidhisheadupononeside，andbeamedatShelton，——"whatdoIdo？DoIsay\'Handsoff\'？No。\'Takeit，\'

Isay——takeit!\'"Hearchlysmiled。"Butdoyouthinktheywould？"

AndthesoftnessofhiscontoursfascinatedShelton。

"Thesoldier，"thepersonunderneaththeprintresumed，"isnecessarilyonalowerplane——intellectually——oh，intellectually——

thanthephilanthropist。Hissufferingsarelessacute；heenjoysthecompensationsofadvertisement——youadmitthat？"hebreathedpersuasively。"Forinstance——Iamquiteimpersonal——Isuffer；butdoItalkaboutit？"But，someonegazingathiswell-filledwaistcoat，heputhisthesisinanotherform:"Ihaveoneacreandonecow，mybrotherhasoneacreandonecow:doIseektotakethemawayfromhim？"

Sheltonhazarded，"Perhapsyou\'reweakerthanyourbrother。"

"Come，come!Takethecaseofwomen:now，Iconsiderourmarriagelawsarebarbarous。"

ForthefirsttimeSheltonconceivedrespectforthem；hemadeacomprehensivegesture，andedgedhimselfintotheconversationofanothergroup，forfearofhavingallhisprejudicesoverturned。

HereanIrishsculptor，standinginacurve，wassayingfuriously，"Beesarenotbhumpkins，d——ntheirsowls!"AScotchpainter，wholistenedwithacurlysmile，seemedtryingtocompromisethisproposition，whichappearedtohaverelationtothemiddleclasses；

andthoughagreeingwiththeIrishman，Sheltonfeltnervousoverhisdischargeofelectricity。NexttothemtwoAmericanladies，assembledunderthetentofhairbelongingtoawriterofsongs，werediscussingtheemotionsarousedinthembyWagner\'soperas。

"Theyproduceastrangeconditionofaffairsinme，"saidthethinnerone。

"They\'rejustdivine，"saidthefatter。

"Idon\'tknowifyoucancallthefleshlylustsdivine，"repliedthethinner，lookingintotheeyesofthewriterofthesongs。

Amidstallthehumofvoicesandthefumesofsmoke，asenseofformalitywashauntingShelton。SandwichedbetweenaDutchmanandaPrussianpoet，hecouldunderstandneitherofhisneighbours；so，assuminganintelligentexpression，hefelltothinkingthatanassemblageoffreespiritsisasmuchboundbytheconventionofexchangingtheirideasascommonplacepeoplearebytheconventionofhavingnoideastotrafficin。Hecouldnothelpwonderingwhether，inthebulk，theywerenotjustasdependentoneachotherastheinhabitantsofKensington；whether，likelocomotives，theycouldrunatallwithouttheseopportunitiesforblowingoffthesteam，andwhatwouldbeleftwhenthesteamhadallescaped。Somebodyceasedplayingtheviolin，andclosetohimagroupbegandiscussingethics。

Aspirationswereintheairallround，likealotofhungryghosts。

Herealisedthat，iftonguebegiventothem，theflavourvanishesfromideaswhichhauntthesoul。

Againtheviolinistplayed。

"Cockgracious!"saidthePrussianpoet，fallingintoEnglishasthefiddleceased:"Colossal!\'Aber，wieeristgrossartig\'!"

"HaveyoureadthatthingofBesom\'s？"askedshrillvoicebehind。

"Oh，mydearfellow!toohorridforwords；heoughttobehanged!"

"Theman\'sdreadful，"pursuedthevoice，shrillerthanever；"nothingbutavolcaniceruptionwouldcurehim。"

Sheltonturnedinalarmtolookattheauthorsofthesestatements。

Theyweretwomenofletterstalkingofathird。

"\'C\'estungrandnaif，voussavez，\'"saidthesecondspeaker。

"Thesefellowsdon\'texist，"resumedthefirst；hissmalleyesgleamedwithagreenlight，hiswholefacehadalookasifhegnawedhimself。Thoughnotamanofletters，Sheltoncouldnothelprecognisingfromthoseeyeswhatjoyitwastosaythosewords:

"Thesefellowsdon\'texist!"

"PoorBesom!YouknowwhatMoultersaid……"

Sheltonturnedaway，asifhehadbeentooclosetoonewhosehairsmeltofcantharides；and，lookingroundtheroom，hefrowned。Withtheexceptionofhiscousin，heseemedtheonlypersonthereofEnglishblood。Americans，Mesopotamians，Irish，Italians，Germans，Scotch，andRussians。Hewasnotcontemptuousofthemforbeingforeigners；itwassimplythatGodandtheclimatehadmadehimdifferentbyaskinorso。

Butatthispointhisconclusionsweredenied(aswillsometimeshappen)byhisintroductiontoanEnglishman——aMajorSomebody，who，withsmoothhairandblondmoustache，neateyesandneaterclothes，seemedalittleanxiousathisownpresencethere。Sheltontookalikingtohim，partlyfromafellow-feeling，andpartlybecauseofthegentlesmilewithwhichhewaslookingathiswife。Almostbeforehehadsaid"Howdoyoudo？"hewasplungedintoadiscussiononimperialism。

"Admittingallthat，"saidShelton，"whatIhateisthehumbugwithwhichweprideourselvesonbenefitingthewholeworldbyourso-

calledcivilisingmethods。"

Thesoldierturnedhisreasonableeyes。

"Butisithumbug？"

Sheltonsawhisargumentinperil。Ifwereallythoughtit，wasithumbug？Hereplied，however:

"Whyshouldwe，asmallportionoftheworld\'spopulation，assumethatourstandardsaretheproperonesforeverykindofrace？Ifit\'snothumbug，it\'ssheerstupidity。"

Thesoldier，withouttakinghishandsoutofhispockets，butbyaforwardmovementofhisfaceshowingthathewasbothsincereandjust，re-replied:

"Well，itmustbeagoodsortofstupidity；itmakesusthenationthatweare。"

Sheltonfeltdazed。Theconversationbuzzedaroundhim；heheardthesmilingprophetsaying，"Altruism，altruism，"andinhisvoiceasomethingseemedtomurmur，"Oh，IdosohopeImakeagoodimpression!"

Helookedatthesoldier\'sclear-cutheadwithitswell-openedeyes，thetinycrow\'s-feetattheircorners，theconventionalmoustache；heenviedthecertaintyoftheconvictionslyingunderthatwell-partedhair。

"IwouldratherweweremenfirstandthenEnglishmen，"hemuttered；

"Ithinkit\'sallasortofnationalillusion，andIcan\'tstandillusions。"

"Ifyoucometothat，"saidthesoldier，"theworldlivesbyillusions。Imean，ifyoulookathistory，you\'llseethatthecreationofillusionshasalwaysbeenherbusiness，don\'tyouknow。"

ThisSheltonwasunabletodeny。

"So，"continuedthesoldier(whowasevidentlyahighlycultivatedman)，"ifyouadmitthatmovement，labour，progress，andallthathavebeenproperlygiventobuildinguptheseillusions，that——er——infact，they\'rewhatyoumightcall——er——theoutcomeoftheworld\'screscendo，"herushedhisvoiceoverthisphraseasifashamedofit——"whydoyouwanttodestroythem？"

Sheltonthoughtamoment，then，squeezinghisbodywithhisfoldedarms，replied:

"Thepasthasmadeuswhatweare，ofcourse，andcannotbedestroyed；buthowaboutthefuture？It\'ssurelytimetoletinair。Cathedralsareveryfine，andeverybodylikesthesmellofincense；butwhenthey\'vebeenforcenturieswithoutventilationyouknowwhattheatmospheregetslike。"

Thesoldiersmiled。

"Byyourownadmission，"hesaid，"you\'llonlybecreatingafreshsetofillusions。"

"Yes，"answeredShelton，"butatalleventsthey\'llbethehonestnecessitiesofthepresent。"

Thepupilsofthesoldier\'seyescontracted；heevidentlyfelttheconversationslippingintogeneralities；heanswered:

"Ican\'tseehowthinkingsmallbeerofourselvesisgoingtodousanygood!"

An"AtHome"

Sheltonfeltindangerofbeingthoughtunpracticalingivingventtotheremark:

"Onemusttrustone\'sreason；InevercanpersuademyselfthatI

believeinwhatIdon\'t。"

Aminutelater，withacordialhandshake，thesoldierleft，andSheltonwatchedhiscourteousfigureshepherdinghiswifeaway。

"Dick，mayIintroduceyoutoMr。WilfridCurly？"saidhiscousin\'svoicebehind，andhefoundhishandbeingdiffidentlyshakenbyafresh-cheekedyouthwithadome-likeforehead，whowassayingnervously:

"Howdoyoudo？Yes，Iamverywell，thankyou!"

Henowrememberedthatwhenhehadfirstcomeinhehadwatchedthisyouth，whohadbeenstandinginacornerindulginghimselfinprivatesmiles。Hehadanuncommonlook，asthoughhewereinlovewithlife——asthoughheregardeditasacreaturetowhomonecouldputquestionstotheveryend——interesting，humorous，earnestquestions。

Helookeddiffident，andamiable，andindependent，andhe，too，wasevidentlyEnglish。

"Areyougoodatargument？"saidShelton，atalossforaremark。

Theyouthsmiled，blushed，and，puttingbackhishair，replied:

"Yes——no——Idon\'tknow；Ithinkmybraindoesn\'tworkfastenoughforargument。Youknowhowmanymotionsofthebrain-cellsgotoeachremark。It\'sawfullyinteresting"；and，bendingfromthewaistinamathematicalposition，heextendedthepalmofonehand，andstartedtoexplain。

Sheltonstaredattheyouth\'shand，athisfrownsandthetapshegavehisforeheadwhilehefoundtheexpressionofhismeaning；hewasintenselyinterested。Theyouthbrokeoff，lookedathiswatch，and，blushingbrightly，said:

"I\'mafraidIhavetogo；Ihavetobeatthe\'Den\'beforeeleven。"

"Imustbeoff，too，"saidShelton。Makingtheiradieuxtogether，theysoughttheirhatsandcoats。

CHAPTERXIV

THENIGHTCLUB

"MayIask，"saidShelton，asheandtheyouthcameoutintothechillystreet，"Whatitisyoucallthe\'Den\'？"

Hiscompanionsmilinglyanswered:

"Oh，thenightclub。Wetakeitinturns。Thursdayismynight。

Wouldyouliketocome？Youseealotoftypes。It\'sonlyroundthecorner。"

Sheltondigestedamomentarydoubt，andanswered:

"Yes，immensely。"

Theyreachedthecornerhouseinanangleofa，dismalstreet，throughtheopendoorofwhichtwomenhadjustgonein。Following，theyascendedsomewooden，fresh-washedstairs，andenteredalargeboardedroomsmellingofsawdust，gas，stalecoffee，andoldclothes。

Itwasfurnishedwithabagatelleboard，twoorthreewoodentables，somewoodenforms，andawoodenbookcase。Seatedonthesewoodenchairs，orstandingup，wereyouths，andoldermenoftheworkingclass，whoseemedtoSheltontobepeculiarlydejected。Onewasreading，oneagainstthewallwasdrinkingcoffeewithadisillusionedair，twowereplayingchess，andagroupoffourmadeaceaselessclatterwiththebagatelle。

Alittlemaninadarksuit，withapaleface，thinlips，anddeep-

set，black-encircledeyes，whowasobviouslyincharge，cameupwithananaemicsmile。

"You\'reratherlate，"hesaidtoCurly，and，lookingasceticallyatShelton，asked，withoutwaitingforanintroduction:"Doyouplaychess？There\'syoungSmithwantsagame。"

Ayouthwithawoodenface，alreadyseatedbeforeafly-blownchess-

board，askedhimdrearilyifhewouldhaveblackorwhite。Sheltontookwhite；hewasoppressedbythevirtuousodourofthisroom。

Thelittlemanwiththedeepblueeyescameup，stoodinanuneasyattitude，andwatched:

"Yourplay\'simproving，youngSmith，"hesaid；"Ishouldthinkyou\'dbeabletogiveBanksaknight。"HiseyesrestedonShelton，fanaticalanddreary；hismonotonousvoicewassufferingandnasal；

hewascontinuallysuckinginhislips，asthoughdeterminedtosubdue\'theflesh。"Youshouldcomehereoften，"hesaidtoShelton，asthelatterreceivedcheckmate；"you\'dgetsomegoodpractice。

We\'veseveralveryfairplayers。You\'renotasgoodasJonesorBartholomew，"headdedtoShelton\'sopponent，asthoughhefeltitadutytoputthelatterinhisplace。"Yououghttocomehereoften，"

herepeatedtoShelton；"wehavealotofverygoodyoungfellows"；

and，withatouchofcomplacence，heglancedaroundthedismalroom。

"Therearenotsomanyheretonightasusual。WhereareToombsandBody？"

Shelton，too，lookedanxiouslyaround。HecouldnothelpfeelingsympathywithToombsandBody。

"They\'regettingslack，I\'mafraid，"saidthelittledeep-eyedman。

"Ourprincipleistoamuseeveryone。Excusemeaminute；IseethatCarpenterisdoingnothing。"Hecrossedovertothemanwhohadbeendrinkingcoffee，butSheltonhadbarelytimetoglanceathisopponentandtrytothinkofaremark，beforethelittlemanwasback。"Doyouknowanythingaboutastronomy？"heaskedofShelton。

"Wehaveseveralveryinterestedinastronomy；ifyoucouldtalktothemalittleitwouldhelp。"

Sheltonmadeamotionofalarm。

"Please-no，"saidhe；"I——"

"Iwishyou\'dcomesometimesonWednesdays；wehavemostinterestingtalks，andaserviceafterwards。We\'realwaysanxioustogetnewblood"；andhiseyessearchedShelton\'sbrown，rathertough-lookingface，asthoughtryingtoseehowmuchbloodtherewasinit。"YoungCurlysaysyou\'vejustbeenaroundtheworld；youcoulddescribeyourtravels。"

"MayIask，"saidShelton，"howyourclubismadeup？"

Againalookofcomplacency，andblessedassuagement，visitedthelittleman。

"Oh，"hesaid，"wetakeanybody，unlessthere\'sanythingagainstthem。TheDaySocietyseestothat。Ofcourse，weshouldn\'ttakeanyoneiftheyweretoreportagainstthem。Yououghttocometoourcommitteemeetings；they\'reonMondaysatseven。Thewomen\'sside，too——"

"Thankyou，"saidShelton；"you\'reverykind——"

"Weshouldbepleased，"saidthelittleman；andhisfaceseemedtosuffermorethanever。"They\'remostlyyoungfellowshereto-night，butwehavemarriedmen，too。Ofcourse，we\'reverycarefulaboutthat，"headdedhastily，asthoughhemighthaveinjuredShelton\'sprejudices——"that，anddrink，andanythingcriminal，youknow。"

"Anddoyougivepecuniaryassistance，too？"

"Ohyes，"repliedthelittleman；"ifyouweretocometoourcommitteemeetingsyouwouldseeforyourself。Everythingismostcarefullygoneinto；weendeavourtosiftthewheatfromthechaff。"

"Isuppose，"saidShelton，"youfindagreatdealofchaff？"

Thelittlemansmiledasufferingsmile。Thetwangofhistonelessvoicesoundedatrifleshriller。

"Iwasobligedtorefuseamanto-day——amanandawoman，quiteyoungpeople，withthreesmallchildren。Hewasillandoutofwork；butoninquirywefoundthattheywerenotmanandwife。"

Therewasaslightpause；thelittleman\'seyeswerefastenedonhisnails，and，withanappearanceofenjoyment，hebegantobitethem。

Shelton\'sfacehadgrownatriflered。

"Andwhatbecomesofthewomanandthechildreninacaselikethat？"

hesaid。

Thelittleman\'seyesbegantosmoulder。

"Wemakeapointofnotencouragingsin，ofcourse。Excusemeaminute；Iseethey\'vefinishedbagatelle。"

Hehurriedoff，andinamomenttheclackofbagatellebeganagain。

Hehimselfwasplayingwithacoldandspuriousenergy，runningaftertheballsandexhortingtheotherplayers，uponwhomawoodenacquiescenceseemedtofall。

Sheltoncrossedtheroom，andwentuptoyoungCurly。Hewassittingonabench，smilingtohimselfhisprivatesmiles。

"Areyoustayingheremuchlonger？"Sheltonasked。

YoungCurlyrosewithnervoushaste。

"I\'mafraid，"hesaid，"there\'snobodyveryinterestinghereto-

night。"

"Oh，notatall!"saidShelton；"onthecontrary。OnlyI\'vehadarathertiringday，andsomehowIdon\'tfeeluptothestandardhere。"

Hisnewacquaintancesmiled。

"Oh，really!doyouthink——thatis——"

Buthehadnottimetofinishbeforetheclackofbagatelleballsceased，andthevoiceofthelittledeep-eyedmanwasheardsaying:

"Anybodywhowantsabookwillputhisnamedown。Therewillbetheusualprayer-meetingonWednesdaynext。Willyouallgoquietly？

Iamgoingtoturnthelightsout。"

Onegas-jetvanished，andtheremainingjetflaredsuddenly。Byitsharderglarethewoodenroomlookedhardertoo，anddisenchanting。

Thefiguresofitsoccupantsbeganfilingthroughthedoor。Thelittlemanwasleftinthecentreoftheroom，hisdeepeyessmoulderinguponthebacksoftheretreatingmembers，histhumbandfingerraisedtotheturncockofthemetre。

"Doyouknowthispart？"askedyoungCurlyastheyemergedintothestreet。"It\'sreallyjolly；oneofthedarkestbitsinLondon——itisreally。Ifyoucare，Icantakeyouthroughanawfullydangerousplacewherethepolicenevergo。"HeseemedsoanxiousforthehonourthatSheltonwasloathtodisappointhim。"Icomehereprettyoften，"hewenton，astheyascendedasortofalleyramblingdarklybetweenawallandrowofhouses。

"Why？"askedShelton；"itdoesn\'tsmelltoonice。"

Theyoungmanthrewuphisnoseandsniffed，asifeagertoaddanynewscentthatmightbeabouttohisknowledgeoflife。

"No，that\'soneofthereasons，youknow，"hesaid；"onemustfindout。Thedarknessisjolly，too；anythingmighthappenhere。Lastweektherewasamurder；there\'salwaysthechanceofone。"

Sheltonstared；butthechargeofmorbidnesswouldnotlieagainstthisfresh-cheekedstripling。

"There\'sasplendiddrainjusthere，"hisguideresumed；"thepeoplearedyinglikefliesoftyphoidinthosethreehouses"；andunderthefirstlightheturnedhisgrave，cherubicfacetoindicatethehouses。"IfwewereintheEastEnd，Icouldshowyouotherplacesquiteasgood。There\'sacoffee-stallkeeperinonethatknowsallthethievesinLondon；he\'sasplendidtype，but，"headded，lookingalittleanxiouslyatShelton，"itmightn\'tbesafeforyou。Withmeit\'sdifferent；they\'rebeginningtoknowme。I\'venothingtotake，yousee。"

"I\'mafraiditcan\'tbeto-night，"saidShelton；"Imustgetback。"

"DoyoumindifIwalkwithyou？It\'ssojollynowthestarsareout。"

"Delighted，"saidShelton；"doyouoftengotothatclub？"

Hiscompanionraisedhishat，andranhisfingersthroughhishair。

"They\'rerathertoohigh-classforme，"hesaid。"Iliketogowhereyoucanseepeopleeat——schooltreats，orsomewhereinthecountry。Itdoesonegoodtoseethemeat。Theydon\'tgetenough，yousee，asarule，tomakebone；it\'sallusedupforbrainandmuscle。Therearesomeplacesinthewinterwheretheygivethembreadandcocoa；Iliketogotothose。"

"Iwentonce，"saidShelton，"butIfeltashamedforputtingmynosein。"

"Oh，theydon\'tmind；mostofthemarehalf-deadwithcold，youknow。

Youseesplendidtypes；lotsofdipsomaniacs……It\'susefultome，"hewentonastheypassedapolice-station，"towalkaboutatnight；onecantakesomuchmorenotice。IhadajollynightlastweekinHydePark；achancetostudyhumannaturethere。"

"Anddoyoufinditinteresting？"askedShelton。

Hiscompanionsmiled。

"Awfully，"hereplied；"Isawafellowpickthreepockets。"

"Whatdidyoudo？"

"Ihadajollytalkwithhim。"

Sheltonthoughtofthelittledeep-eyedman；whomadeapointofnotencouragingsin。

"HewasoneoftheprofessionalsfromNottingHill，youknow；toldmehislife。Neverhadachance，ofcourse。ThemostinterestingpartwastellinghimI\'dseenhimpickthreepockets——likecreepingintoacave，whenyoucan\'ttellwhat\'sinside。"

"Well？"

"Heshowedmewhathe\'dgot——onlyfivepencehalfpenny。"

"Andwhatbecameofyourfriend？"askedShelton。

"Oh，wentoff；hehadasplendidlylowforehead。"

TheyhadreachedShelton\'srooms。

"Willyoucomein，"saidthelatter，"andhaveadrink？"

Theyouthsmiled，blushed，andshookhishead。

"No，thankyou，"hesaid；"IhavetowalktoWhitechapel。I\'mlivingonporridgenow；splendidstuffformakingbone。Igenerallyliveonporridgeforaweekattheendofeverymonth。It\'sthebestdietifyou\'rehardup"；oncemoreblushingandsmiling，hewasgone。

Sheltonwentupstairsandsatdownonhisbed。Hefeltalittlemiserable。Sittingthere，slowlypullingouttheendsofhiswhitetie，disconsolate，hehadavisionofAntoniawithhergazefixedwonderinglyonhim。Andthiswonderofherscameasarevelation——

justasthatmorning，when，lookingfromhiswindow，hehadseenapasser-bystopsuddenlyandscratchhisleg；andithadcomeuponhiminaflashthatthatmanhadthoughtsandfeelingsofhisown。HewouldneverknowwhatAntoniareallyfeltandthought。"TillIsawheratthestation，Ididn\'tknowhowmuchIlovedherorhowlittleIknewher"；and，sighingdeeply，hehurriedintobed。

CHAPTERXV

POLETOPOLE

ThewaitinginLondonforJulytocomewasdailymoreunbearabletoShelton，andifithadnotbeenforFerrand，whostillcametobreakfast，hewouldhavedesertedtheMetropolis。OnJunefirstthelatterpresentedhimselfratherlaterthanwashiscustom，andannouncedthat，throughafriend，hehadheardofapositionasinterpretertoanhotelatFolkestone。

"IfIhadmoneytofacethefirstnecessities，hesaid，swiftlyturningoveracollectionofsmearedpaperswithhisyellowfingers，asifsearchingforhisownidentity，"I\'dleavetoday。ThisLondonblackensmyspirit。"

"Areyoucertaintogetthisplace，"askedShelton。

"Ithinkso，"theyoungforeignerreplied；"I\'vegotsomegoodenoughrecommendations。"

Sheltoncouldnothelpadubiousglanceatthepapersinhishand。A

hurtlookpassedontoFerrand\'scurlylipsbeneathhisnascentredmoustache。

"Youmeanthattohavefalsepapersisasbadastheft。No，no；I

shallneverbeathief——I\'vehadtoomanyopportunities，"saidhe，withprideandbitterness。"That\'snotinmycharacter。Ineverdoharmtoanyone。This"——hetouchedthepapers——"isnotdelicate，butitdoesharmtonoone。Ifyouhavenomoneyyoumusthavepapers；

theystandbetweenyouandstarvation。Society，hasanexcellenteyeforthehelpless——itnevertreadsonpeopleunlessthey\'rereallydown。"HelookedatShelton。

"You\'vemademewhatIam，amongstyou，"heseemedtosay；，"nowputupwithme!"

"Buttherearealwaystheworkhouses，"Sheltonremarkedatlast。

"Workhouses!"returnedFerrand；"certainlythereare——regularpalaces:Iwilltellyouonething:I\'veneverbeeninplacessodiscouragingasyourworkhouses；theytakeone\'sveryheartout。"

"Ialwaysunderstood，"saidSheltoncoldly；"thatoursystemwasbetterthanthatofothercountries。"

Ferrandleanedoverinhischair，anelbowonhisknee，hisfavouriteattitudewhenparticularlycertainofhispoint。

"Wellhereplied，"it\'salwayspermissibletothinkwellofyourowncountry。But，frankly，I\'vecomeoutofthoseplacesherewithlittlestrengthandnoheartatall，andIcantellyouwhy。"Hislipslosttheirbitterness，andhebecameanartistexpressingtheresultofhisexperience。"Youspendyourmoneyfreely，youhavefinebuildings，self-respectingofficers，butyoulackthespiritofhospitality。Thereasonisplain；youhaveahorroroftheneedy。

Youinviteus——andwhenwecomeyoutreatusjustlyenough，butasifwewerenumbers，criminals，beneathcontempt——asifwehadinflictedapersonalinjuryonyou；andwhenwegetoutagain，wearenaturallydegraded。"

Sheltonbithislips。

"Howmuchmoneywillyouwantforyourticket，andtomakeastart？"

heasked。

ThenervousgestureescapingFerrandatthisjuncturebetrayedhowfarthemostindependentthinkersaredependentwhentheyhavenomoneyintheirpockets。HetookthenotethatSheltonprofferedhim。

"Athousandthanks，"saidhe；"Ishallneverforgetwhatyouhavedoneforme"；andSheltoncouldnothelpfeelingthattherewastrueemotionbehindhistitteroffarewell。

HestoodatthewindowwatchingFerrandstartintotheworldagain；

thenlookedbackathisowncomfortableroom，withthenumberofthingsthathadaccumulatedsomehow——thephotographsofcountlessfriends，theoldarm-chairs，thestockofcolouredpipes。Intohimrestlessnesshadpassedwiththefarewellclaspoftheforeigner\'sdamphand。TowaitaboutinLondonwasunbearable。

Hetookhishat，and，heedlessofdirection，walkedtowardstheriver。Itwasaclear，brightday，withableakwinddrivingshowersbeforeit。DuringoneofsuchSheltonfoundhimselfinLittleBlankStreet。"IwonderhowthatlittleFrenchmanthatIsawisgettingon!"hethought。Onafinedayhewouldprobablyhavepassedbyontheotherside；henowenteredandtappeduponthewicket。

No。3LittleBlankStreethadabatednothingofitsstone-flaggeddreariness；thesameblowsywomanansweredhisinquiry。Yes，Carolanwasalwaysin；youcouldnevercatchhimout——seemedafraidtogointothestreet!TohercallthelittleFrenchmanmadehisappearanceaspunctuallyasifhehadbeentherabbitofaconjurer。

Hisfacewasasyellowasaguinea。

"Ah!it\'syou，monsieur!"hesaid。

"Yes，"saidShelton；"andhowareyou？"

"It\'sfivedayssinceIcameoutofhospital，"mutteredthelittleFrenchman，tappingonhischest；"acrisisofthisbadatmosphere。

Ilivehere，shutupinabox；itdoesmeharm，beingfromtheSouth。

Ifthere\'sanythingIcandoforyou，monsieur，itwillgivemepleasure。"

"Nothing，"repliedShelton，"Iwasjustpassing，andthoughtIshouldliketohearhowyouweregettingon。"

"Comeintothekitchen，——monsieur，thereisnobodyinthere。\'Brr!

Ilfaitunfroidetonnant\'!"

"Whatsortofcustomershaveyoujustnow？"askedShelton，astheypassedintothekitchen。

"Alwaysthesameclientele，"repliedthelittleman；"notsonumerous，ofcourse，itbeingsummer。"

"Couldn\'tyoufindanythingbetterthanthistodo？"

Thebarber\'scrow\'s-feetradiatedirony。

"WhenIfirstcametoLondon，"saidhe，"Isecuredanengagementatoneofyourpublicinstitutions。Ithoughtmyfortunemade。_

Imagine，monsieur，inthatsacredplaceIwasobligedtoshaveattherateoftenapenny!Here，it\'strue，theydon\'tpaymehalfthetime；butwhenI\'mpaid，I\'mpaid。Inthis，climate，andbeing\'poitrinaire\'，onedoesn\'tmakeexperiments。Ishallfinishmydayshere。Haveyouseenthatyoungmanwhointerestedyou？There\'sanother!Hehasspirit，asIhadonce——\'ilfaitdelaphilosophie\'，asIdo——andyouwillsee，monsieur，itwillfinishhim。Inthisworldwhatyouwantistohavenospirit。Spiritruinsyou。"

Sheltonlookedsidewaysatthelittlemanwithhissardonic，yellow，half-deadface，andtheincongruityoftheword"spirit"inhismouthstruckhimsosharplythathesmiledasmilewithmorepityinitthananyburstoftears。

"Shallwe\'sitdown？"hesaid，offeringacigarette。

"Merci，monsieur，itisalwaysapleasuretosmokeagoodcigarette。

Youremember，thatoldactorwhogaveyouaJeremiad？Well，he\'sdead。Iwastheonlyoneathisbedside；\'unvraidrole\'。Hewasanotherwhohadspirit。Andyouwi11see，monsieur，thatyoungmaninwhomyoutakeaninterest，he\'lldieinahospital，orinsome。

holeorother，orevenonthehighroad；havingclosedhiseyesoncetoooftensomecoldnight；andallbecausehehassomethinginhimwhichwillnotacceptthingsastheyare，believingalwaysthattheyshouldbebetter。\'Iln\'yariensdeplustragique\'!"

"Accordingtoyou，then，"saidShelton——andtheconversationseemedtohimofasuddentohavetakentoopersonalaturn——"rebellionofanysortisfatal。"

"Ah!"repliedthelittleman，withtheeagernessofonewhoseidealitistositundertheawningofacaf？andtalklifeupsidedown，"youposemeagreatproblemthere!Ifonemakesrebellion；itisalwaysprobablethatonewilldonogoodtoanyoneandharmone\'sself。Thelawofthemajorityarrangesthat。ButIwoulddrawyourattentiontothis"——andhepaused；asifitwerearealdiscoverytoblowsmokethroughhisnose——"ifyourebelitisinalllikelihoodbecauseyouareforcedbyyournaturetorebel；thisisoneofthemostcertainthingsinlife。Inanycase，itisnecessarytoavoidfallingbetweentwostools——whichisunpardonable，"heendedwithcomplacence。

Sheltonthoughthehadneverseenamanwholookedmorecompletelyasifhehadfallenbetweentwostools，andhehadinspirationenoughtofeelthatthelittlebarber\'sintellectualrebellionandtheactionlogicallyrequiredbyithadnomorethanabowingacquaintanceship。

"Bynature，"wentonthelittleman，"Iamanoptimist；itisinconsequenceofthisthatInowmakepessimism。Ihavealwayshadideals；seeingmyselfcutofffromthemforever，Imustcomplain；tocomplain，monsieur，isverysweet!"

Sheltonwonderedwhattheseidealshadbeen，buthadnoanswerready；

sohenodded，andagainheldouthiscigarettes，for，likeatrueSoutherner，thelittlemanhadthrownthefirstaway，halfsmoked。

"Thegreatestpleasureinlife，"continuedtheFrenchman，withabow，"istotalkalittletoabeingwhoiscapableofunderstandingyou。

Atpresentwehavenoonehere，nowthatthatoldactor\'sdead。Ah!

therewasamanwhowasrebellionincarnate!Hemaderebellionasothermenmakemoney，\'c\'etaitsonmetier\'；whenhewasnolongercapableofactiverevolution，hemadeitgettingdrunk。AtthelastthiswashisonlywayofprotestingagainstSociety。Aninterestingpersonality，\'jeleregrettebeaucoup\'。But，asyousee，hediedingreatdistress，withoutasoultowavehimfarewell，becauseasyoucanwellunderstand，monsieur，Idon\'tcountmyself。Hedieddrunk。

\'C\'etaitunhomme\'!"

Sheltonhadcontinuedstaringkindlyatthelittleman；thebarberaddedhastily:

"It\'sdifficulttomakeanendlikethatonehasmomentsofweakness。"

"Yes，"assentedShelton，"onehasindeed。"

Thelittlebarberlookedathimwithcynicaldiscretion。

"Oh!"hesaid，"it\'stothedestitutethatsuchthingsareimportant。Whenonehasmoney，allthesematters——"

Heshruggedhisshoulders。Asmilehadlodgedamongsthiscrow\'s-

feet；hewavedhishandasthoughtoendthesubject。

AsenseofhavingbeenexposedcameoverShelton。

"Youthink，then，"saidhe，"thatdiscontentispeculiartothedestitute？"

"Monsieur，"repliedthelittlebarber，"aplutocratknowstoowellthatifhemixesinthat\'galere\'there\'snotadoginthestreetsmorelostthanhe。"

Sheltonrose。

"Therainisover。Ihopeyou\'llsoonbebetter；perhapsyou\'llacceptthisinmemoryofthatoldactor，"andheslippedasovereignintothelittleFrenchman\'shand。

Thelatterbowed。

"Wheneveryouarepassing，monsieur，"hesaideagerly，"Ishallbecharmedtoseeyou。"

AndSheltonwalkedaway。"\'Notadoginthestreetsmorelost，\'"

thoughthe；"nowwhatdidhemeanbythat？"

Somethingofthat"lostdog"feelinghadgrippedhisspirit。Anothermonthofwaitingwouldkillallthesavourofanticipation，mightevenkillhislove。Intheexcitementofhissensesandhisnerves，causedbythisstrainofwaiting，everythingseemedtoovivid；allwasbeyondlifesize；likeArt——whosetruths；toostrongfordailyuse，arethus，unpopularwithhealthypeople。Aswillthe，bones；inawornface，thespiritunderlyingthingshadreachedthesurface；

themeannessandintolerablemeasureofhardfacts，weretooapparent。Somecravingforhelp，someinstinct，drovehimintoKensington，forhefoundhimselfbeforehis，mother\'shouse。

Providenceseemedbentonflinginghimfrompoletopole。

Mrs。Sheltonwasintown；and，thoughitwasthefirstofJune，satwarmingherfeetbeforeafire；herface，withitspleasantcolour，wascrow\'s-footedlikethelittlebarber\'s，butfromoptimism，notrebellion。She，smiledwhenshesawherson；andthewrinklesroundhereyestwinkled，withvitality。

"Well，mydearboy，"shesaid，"it\'slovelytoseeyou。Andhowisthatsweetgirl？"

"Verywell，thankyou，"repliedShelton。

"Shemustbesuchadear!"

"Mother，"stammeredShelton，"Imustgiveitup。"

"Giveitup？MydearDick，givewhatup？Youlookquiteworried。

Comeandsitdown，andhaveacosychat。Cheerup!"AndMrs。

Shelton；withherheadaskew，gazedathersonquiteirrepressibly。

Mother，"saidShelton，who，confrontedbyheroptimism，hadnever，sincehistimeoftrialbegan，feltsowretchedlydejected，"Ican\'tgoonwaitingaboutlikethis。"

"Mydearboy，whatisthematter？"；

"Everythingiswrong!

"Wrong？"criedMrs。Shelton。"Come，tellmeall，aboutit!"

ButShelton，shookhishead。

"Yousurelyhavenothadaquarrel——"

Mrs。