第5章

Sheltonwalkedhome，lettingthespringwindintohim。ItwasSaturday，andhepassedmanysilentcouples。Ineverylittlepatchofshadowhecouldseetwoformsstandingorsittingclosetogether，andintheirpresenceWordstheImpostorsseemedtoholdtheirtongues。Thewindrustledthebuds；thestars，onemomentbrightasdiamonds，vanishedthenext。Inthelowerstreetsalargepartoftheworldwasundertheinfluenceofdrink，butbythisSheltonwasfarfrombeingtroubled。ItseemedbetterthanDrama，thandressing-

baggedmen，unruffledwomen，andpaddedpointsofview，betterthantheimmaculatesolidityofhisfriend\'spossessions。

"So，"hereflected，"it\'srightforeveryreason，social，religious，andconvenient，toinflictone\'ssocietywhereit\'snotdesired。

Thereareobviouslyadvantagesaboutthemarriedstate；charmingtofeelrespectablewhileyou\'reactinginawaythatinanyotherwalkoflifewouldbringonyoucontempt。IfoldHalidomeshowedthathewastiredofme，andIcontinuedtovisithim，he\'dthinkmeabitofacad；butifhiswifeweretotellhimshecouldn\'tstandhim，he\'dstillconsiderhimselfaperfectgentlemanifhepersistedingivinghertheburdenofhissociety；andhehasthecheektobringreligionintoit——areligionthatsays，\'Dountoothers!\'"

ButinthishewasunjusttoHalidome，forgettinghowimpossibleitwasforhimtobelievethatawomancouldnotstandhim。Hereachedhisrooms，and，themorefreelytoenjoytheclearlamplight，thesoft，gustybreeze，andwaningturmoilofthestreets，waitedamomentbeforeentering。

"Iwonder，"thoughthe，"ifIshallturnoutacadwhenImarry，likethatchapintheplay。It\'snatural。Weallwantourmoney\'sworth，ourpoundof-flesh!Pityweusesuchfinewords——\'Society，Religion，Morality。\'Humbug!"

Hewentin，and，throwinghiswindowopen，remainedtherealongtime，hisfigureoutlinedagainstthelightedroomforthebenefitofthedarksquarebelow，hishandsinhispockets，hisheaddown，areflectivefrownabouthiseyes。Ahalf-intoxicatedoldruffian，apoliceman，andamaninastrawhathadstoppedbelow，andwereholdingapalaver。

"Yus，"theoldruffiansaid，"I\'maracketyoldblank；butwhatIsayis，ifwewusallalike，thiswouldn\'tbeaworld!"

Theywenttheirway，andbeforethelistener\'seyesthereroseAntonia\'sface，withitsunruffledbrow；Halidome\'s，allhealthanddignity；theforeheadofthegoggle-eyedman，withitslineofhairpartedinthecentre，andbrushedacross。Alightseemedtoilluminetheplaneoftheirexistence，astheelectriclampwiththegreenshadehadilluminedthepagesoftheMatthewArnold；serenebeforeShelton\'svisionlaythatElysium，untouchedbypassionorextremesofanykind，autocratic；complacent，possessive，andwell-keptasanyMidlandlandscape。Healthy，wealthy，wise!Noroombutforperfection，self-preservation，thesurvivalofthefittest!"Thepartofthegoodcitizen，"hethought:"no，ifwewereallalike，thiswouldn\'tbeaworld!"

CHAPTERVI

MARRIAGESETTLEMENT

MydearRichard"(wroteShelton\'sunclethenextday)，"Ishallbegladtoseeyouatthreeo\'clockto-morrowafternoonuponthequestionofyourmarriagesettlement……"AtthathouraccordinglySheltonmadehiswaytoLincoln\'sInnFields，whereinfatblacklettersthenames"ParamorandHerring(CommissionersforOaths)"

werewrittenonthewallofastoneentrance。Heascendedthesolidstepswithnervousness，andbyasmallred-hairedboywasintroducedtoabackroomonthefirstfloor。Here，seatedatatableintheverycentre，asifhetherebybettercontrolledhisuniverse，apug-

featuredgentleman，withoutabeard，waswriting。Hepaused。

"Ow，Mr。Richard!"hesaid；"gladtoseeyou，sir。Takeachair。

Yourunclewillbedisengagedin\'arfaminute"；andinthetoneofhisallusiontohisemployerwasthesatiricalapprovalthatcomeswithlongandfaithfulservice。"Hewilldoeverythinghimself，"hewenton，screwinguphissly，greenish，honesteyes，"andhe\'snotayoungman。"

Sheltonneversawhisuncle\'sclerkwithoutmarvellingattheprosperitydeepeninguponhisface。Inplaceofthelookofharassmentwhichonmostfacesbeginstogrowaftertheageoffifty，hisoldfriend\'scountenance，asthoughinsympathywiththenation，hadexpanded——alittlegreasily，alittlegenially，alittlecoarsely——everytimehemetit。Acontemptuoustoleranceforpeoplewhowerenotgettingonwasspreadingbeneathitssurface；itlefteachtimeadeeperfeelingthatitsownercouldneverbeinthewrong。

"Ihopeyou\'rewell，sir，"heresumed:"mostimportantforyoutohaveyourhealthnowyou\'regoing-to"——and，feelingforthedelicatewaytoputit，heinvoluntarilywinked——"tobecomeafamilyman。Wesawitinthepaper。Mywifesaidtometheothermorningatbreakfast:\'Bob，here\'saMr。RichardParamorSheltongoin\'tobemarried。IsthatanyrelativeofyourMr。Shelton？\'\'Mydear，\'I

saidtoher，\'it\'stheveryman!\'"

ItdisquietedSheltontoperceivethathisoldfrienddidnotpassthewholeofhislifeatthattablewritinginthecentreoftheroom，butthatsomewhere(vistasoflittlegreyhousesrosebeforehiseyes)heactuallylivedanotherlifewheresomeonecalledhim"Bob。"Bob!Andthis，too，wasarevelation。Bob!Why，ofcourse，itwastheonlynameforhim!Abellrang。

"That\'syouruncle"；andagaintheheadclerk\'svoicesoundedironical。"Good-bye，sir。"

Heseemedtoclipoffintercourseasoneclipsoffelectriclight。

Sheltonlefthimwriting，andprecededthered-hairedboytoanenormousroominthefrontwherehisunclewaited。

EdmundParamorwasamedium-sizedanduprightmanofseventy，whosebrownfacewasperfectlyclean-shaven。Hisgrey，silkyhairwasbrushedinacock\'scombfromhisfineforehead，baldontheleftside。Hestoodbeforethehearthfacingtheroom，andhisfigurehadthespringyabruptnessofmenwhocannotfatten。Therewasacertainyouthfulness，too，inhiseyes，yettheyhadalookasthoughhehadbeenthroughfire；andhismouthcurledatthecornersinsurprisingsmiles。Theroomwasliketheman——morallylarge，voidofred-tapeandalmostvoidoffurniture；notinboxeswererangedagainstthewalls，nopaperslitteredupthetable；asinglebookcasecontainedacompleteeditionofthelawreports，andrestingontheLawDirectorywasasingleredroseinaglassofwater。Itlookedtheroomofonewithasobermagnanimity，whowenttotheheartofthings，despisedhaggling，andbeforewhosesmilesthemoreimmediatekindsofhumbugfaded。

"Well，Dick，"saidhe，"how\'syourmother？"

Sheltonrepliedthathismotherwasallright。

"TellherthatI\'mgoingtosellherEasternsafterall，andputintothisBrassthing。Youcansayit\'ssafe，fromme。"

Sheltonmadeaface。

"Mother，"saidhe，"alwaysbelievesthingsaresafe。"

Hisunclelookedthroughhimwithhiskeen，half-sufferingglance，andupwentthecornersofhismouth。

"She\'ssplendid，"hesaid。

"Yes，"saidShelton，"splendid。"

Thetransaction，however，didnotinteresthim；hisuncle\'sjudgmentinsuchmattershadabreezysoundnesshewouldneverdreamofquestioning。

"Well，aboutyoursettlement"；and，touchingabellthreetimes，Mr。

Paramorwalkedupanddowntheroom。"BringmethedraftofMr。

Richard\'smarriagesettlement。"

Thestalwartcommissionairereappearingwithadocument——"Nowthen，Dick，"saidMr。Paramor。"She\'snotbringinganythingintosettlement，Iunderstand；how\'sthat？"

"Ididn\'twantit，"repliedShelton，unaccountablyashamed。

Mr。Paramor\'slipsquivered；hedrewthedraftcloser，tookupabluepencil，and，squeezingShelton\'sarm，begantoread。Thelatter，followinghisuncle\'srapidexpositionoftheclauses，wasrelievedwhenhepausedsuddenly。

"Ifyoudieandshemarriesagain，"saidMr。Paramor，"sheforfeitsherlifeinterest——see？"

"Oh!"saidShelton；"waitaminute，UncleTed。"

Mr。Paramorwaited，bitinghispencil；asmileflickeredonhismouth，andwasdecorouslysubdued。ItwasShelton\'sturntowalkabout。

"Ifshemarriesagain，"herepeatedtohimself。

Mr。Paramorwasakeenfisherman；hewatchedhisnephewashemighthavewatchedafishhehadjustlanded。

"It\'sveryusual，"heremarked。

Sheltontookanotherturn。

"Sheforfeits，"thoughthe；"exactly。"

Whenhewasdead，hewouldhavenootherwayofseeingthatshecontinuedtobelongtohim。Exactly!

Mr。Paramor\'shauntingeyeswerefastenedonhisnephew\'sface。

"Well，mydear，"theyseemedtosay，"what\'sthematter？"

Exactly!Whyshouldshehavehismoneyifshemarriedagain？Shewouldforfeitit。Therewascomfortinthethought。Sheltoncamebackandcarefullyrereadtheclause，toputthethingonapurelybusinessbasis，anddisguisetherealsignificanceofwhatwaspassinginhismind。

"IfIdieandshemarriesagain，"herepeatedaloud，"sheforfeits。"

Whatwiserprovisionforamanpassionatelyinlovecouldpossiblyhavebeendevised？Hisuncle\'seyetravelledbeyondhim，humanelyturningfromthelastdespairingwrigglesofhisfish。

"Idon\'twanttotieher，"saidSheltonsuddenly。

ThecornersofMr。Paramour\'smouthflewup。

"Youwanttheforfeitureout？"heasked。

ThebloodrushedintoShelton\'sface；hefelthehadbeendetectedinapieceofsentiment。

"Ye-es，"hestammered。

"Sure？"

"Quite!"Theanswerwasalittlesulky。

Heruncle\'spencildescendedontheclause，andheresumedthereadingofthedraft，butSheltoncouldnotfollowit；hewastoomuchoccupiedinconsideringexactlywhyMr。Paramorhadbeenamused，andtodothishewasobligedtokeephiseyesuponhim。Thosefeatures，justpleasantlyrugged；thespringypoiseofthefigure；

thehairneitherstraightnorcurly，neithershortnorlong；thehauntinglookofhiseyesandthehumorouslookofhismouth；hisclothesneithershabbynordandified；hisserviceable，finehands；

aboveall，theequabilityofthehoveringbluepencil，conveyedtheimpressionofaperfectbalancebetweenheartandhead，sensibilityandreason，theoryanditsopposite。

"\'Duringcoverture，\'"quotedMr。Paramor，pausingagain，"youunderstand，ofcourse，ifyoudon\'tgeton，andseparate，shegoesontaking？"

Iftheydidn\'tgeton!Sheltonsmiled。Mr。Paramordidnotsmile，andagainSheltonhadthesenseofhavingknockedupagainstsomethingpoisedbutfirm。Heremarkedirritably:

"Ifwe\'renotlivingtogether，allthemorereasonforherhavingit。"

Thistimehisunclesmiled。ItwasdifficultforSheltontofeelangryatthatironicmerriment，withitssuddenending；itwastooimpersonaltoirritate:itwastooconcernedwithhumannature。

"If——hum——itcametotheotherthing，"saidMr。Paramor，"thesettlement\'satanendasfarasshe\'sconcerned。We\'reboundtolookateverycase，youknow，oldboy。"

ThememoryoftheplayandhisconversationwithHalidomewasstillstronginShelton。Hewasnotoneofthosewhocouldnotfacethenotionoftransferredaffections——atasafedistance。

"Allright，UncleTed，"saidhe。Foronemadmomenthewasattackedbythedesireto"throwin"thecaseofdivorce。Woulditnotbecommonchivalrytomakeherindependent，abletochangeheraffectionsifshewished，unhamperedbymonetarytroubles？Youonlyneededtotakeoutthewords"duringcoverture。"

Almostanxiouslyhelookedintohisuncle\'sface。Therewasnomeannessthere，butneitherwasthereencouragementinthatcomprehensivebrowwithitswidesweepofhair。"Quixotism，"itseemedtosay，"hasmerits，but——"Theroom，too，withitswidehorizonandtallwindows，lookingasifitdealthabituallyincommon-sense，discouragedhim。Innumerablemenofbreedingandthesoundestprinciplesmusthaveboughttheirwivesinhere。Itwasperfumedwiththeatmosphereofwisdomandlaw-calf。ThearomaofPrecedentwasstrong；Sheltonswervedhislance，andoncemoresettleddowntocompletethepurchaseofhiswife。

"Ican\'tconceivewhatyou\'re——insuchahurryfor；you\'renotgoingtobemarriedtilltheautumn，"saidMr。Paramor，finishingatlast。

Replacingthebluepencilintherack，hetooktheredrosefromtheglass，andsniffedatit。"WillyoucomewithmeasfarasPallMall？I\'mgoingtotakeanafternoonoff；toocoldforLord\'s，I

suppose？"

TheywalkedintotheStrand。

"HaveyouseenthisnewplayofBorogrove\'s？"askedShelton，astheypassedthetheatretowhichhehadbeenwithHalidome。

"Inevergotomodernplays，"repliedMr。Paramor；"tood——dgloomy。"

Sheltonglancedathim；heworehishatratherfarbackonhishead，hiseyeshauntedthestreetinfront；hehadshoulderedhisumbrella。

"Psychology\'snotinyourline，UncleTed？"

"Isthatwhattheycallputtingintowordsthingsthatcan\'tbeputinwords？"

"TheFrenchsucceedindoingit，"repliedShelton，andtheRussians；

whyshouldn\'twe？"

Mr。Paramorstoppedtolookinatafishmonger\'s。

"What\'srightfortheFrenchandRussians，Dick，"hesaid"iswrongforus。Whenwebegintobereal，weonlyreallybegintobefalse。

Ishouldliketohavehadthecatchingofthatfellow；let\'ssendhimtoyourmother。"Hewentinandboughtasalmon:

"Now，mydear，"hecontinued，astheywenton，"doyoutellmethatit\'sdecentformenandwomenonthestagetowritheaboutlikeeels？

Isn\'tlifebadenoughalready？"

ItsuddenlystruckSheltonthat，forallhissmile，hisuncle\'sfacehadalookofcrucifixion。Itwas，perhaps，onlythestrongersunlightintheopenspacesofTrafalgarSquare。

"Idon\'tknow，"hesaid；"IthinkIpreferthetruth。"

"Badendingsandtherest，"saidMr。Paramor，pausingunderoneofNelson\'slionsandtakingSheltonbyabutton。"Truth\'stheverydevil!"

Hestoodthere，verystraight，hiseyeshauntinghisnephew\'sface；

thereseemedtoSheltonatouchingmuddleinhisoptimism——amuddleoftendernessandofintolerance，oftruthandsecond-handedness。

Likethelionabovehim，heseemedtobedefyingLifetomakehimlookather。

"No，mydear，"hesaid，handingsixpencetoasweeper；"feelingsaresnakes!onlyfittobekeptinbottleswithtightcorks。Youwon\'tcometomyclub？Well，good-bye，oldboy；mylovetoyourmotherwhenyouseeher"；andturninguptheSquare，heleftSheltontogoontohisownclub，feelingthathehadparted，notfromhisuncle，butfromthenationofwhichtheywerebothmembersbybirthandbloodandeducation。

CHAPTERVII

THECLUB

Hewentintothelibraryofhisclub，andtookupBurke\'sPeerage。

Thewordshisunclehadsaidtohimonhearinghisengagementhadbeenthese:"Dennant!ArethosetheHolmOaksDennants？ShewasaPenguin。"

NoonewhoknewMr。Paramorconnectedhimwithsnobbery，buttherehadbeenan"Ah!that\'sright；thisisduetous"toneaboutthesaying。

SheltonhuntedforthenameofBaltimore:"CharlesPenguin，fifthBaronBaltimore。Issue:Alice，b。184-，m。186-AlgernonDennant，Esq。，ofHolmOaks，CrossEaton，Oxfordshire。"HeputdownthePeerageandtookupthe\'LandedGentry\':"Dennant，AlgernonCuffe，eldestsonofthelateAlgernonCuffeDennant，Esq。，J。P。，andIrene，2nddaur。oftheHonble。PhilipandLadyLillianMarchMallow；

ed。EtonandCh。Ch。，Oxford，J。P。forOxfordshire。Residence，HolmOaks，"etc。，etc。Droppingthe\'LandedGentry\'，hetookupavolumeofthe\'ArabianNights\'，whichsomememberhadleftreposingonthebook-restofhischair，butinsteadofreadinghekeptlookingroundtheroom。Inalmosteveryseat，readingorsnoozing，weregentlemenwho，intheirownestimation，mighthavemarriedPenguins。Forthefirsttimeitstruckhimwithwhatmajesticleisurelinesstheyturnedthepagesoftheirbooks，trifledwiththeirteacups，orlightlysnored。Yetnotwowerealike——atallman-withdarkmoustache，thickhair，andred，smoothcheeks；another，bald，withstoopingshoulders；

atremendousoldbuck，withagrey，pointedbeardandlargewhitewaistcoat；aclean-shavendappermanpastmiddleage，whosefacewaslikeabird\'s；along，sallow，misanthrope；andasanguinecreaturefastasleep。Asleeporawake，readingorsnoring，fatorthin，hairyorbald，theinsulationoftheirredorpalefaceswascomplete。

Theywereallthecreaturesofgoodform。StaringatthemorreadingtheArabianNightsSheltonspentthetimebeforedinner。Hehadnotbeenlongseatedinthedining-roomwhenadistantconnectionstrolledupandtookthenexttable。

"Ah，Shelton!Back？Somebodytoldmeyouweregoin\'roundtheworld。"Hescrutinisedthemenuthroughhiseyeglass。"Clearsoup!……ReadJellaby\'sspeech？Amusingthewayhesquashesallthosefellows。BestmanintheHouse，hereallyis。"

Sheltonpausedintheassimilationofasparagus；he，too，hadbeeninthehabitofadmiringJellaby，butnowhewonderedwhy。Theredandshavenfacebesidehimaboveabroad，pureshirt-frontwasswollenbygoodhumour；hissmall，veryusual，andhardeyeswerefixedintrospectivelyonthesuccessfulprocessofhiseating。

"Success!"thoughtShelton，suddenlyenlightened——"successiswhatweadmireinJellaby。Weallwantsuccess……Yes，"headmitted，"asuccessfulbeast。"

"Oh!"saidhisneighbour，"Iforgot。You\'reintheothercamp？"

"Notparticularly。Wheredidyougetthatidea？"

Hisneighbourlookedroundnegligently。

"Oh，"saidhe，"Isomehowthoughtso"；andSheltonalmostheardhimadding，"There\'ssomethingnotquitesoundaboutyou。"

"WhydoyouadmireJellaby？"heasked。

"Knowshisownmind，"repliedhisneighbour；"it\'smorethantheothersdo……Thiswhitebaitisn\'tfitforcats!Cleverfellow，Jellaby!Nononsenseabouthim!Haveyoueverheardhimspeak？Awfulgoodsporttowatchhimsittin\'ontheOpposition。A

poorlottheyare!"andhelaughed，eitherfromappreciationofJellabysittingonasmallminority，orfromappreciationofthechampagnebubblesinhisglass。

"Minoritiesarealwaysdepressing，"saidSheltondryly。

"Eh？what？"

"Imean，"saidShelton，"it\'sirritatingtolookatpeoplewhohaven\'tachanceofsuccess——fellowswhomakeamessofthings，fanatics，andallthat。"

Hisneighbourturnedhiseyesinquisitively。

"Er——yes，quite，"saidhe；"don\'tyoutakemintsauce？It\'sthebestpartoflamb，Ialwaysthink。"

Thegreatroomwithitscountlesslittletables，arrangedsothateverymanmighthavethesupportofthegoldwallstohisback，begantoregainitsinfluenceonShelton。Howmanytimeshadhenotsatthere，carefullynoddingtoacquaintances，happyifhegotthetablehewasusedto，apaperwiththelatestracing，andsomeonetogossipwithwhowasnotabounder；whilethesensationofhavingdrunkenoughstoleoverhim。Happy!Thatis，happyasahorseishappywhoneverleaveshisstall。

"LookatpoorlittleBingpuffin\'about，"saidhisneighbour，pointingtoaweazened，hunchywaiter。"Hisasthma\'sawf\'lybad；youcanhearhimwheezin\'fromthestreet。"

Heseemedamused。

"There\'snosuchthingasmoralasthma，Isuppose？"saidShelton。

Hisneighbourdroppedhiseyeglass。

"Here，takethisaway；it\'soverdone；"saidhe。"Bringmesomelamb。"

Sheltonpushedhistableback。

"Good-night，"hesaid；"theStilton\'sexcellent!"

Hisneighbourraisedhisbrows，anddroppedhiseyesagainuponhisplate。

InthehallSheltonwentfromforceofhabittotheweighing-scalesandtookhisweight。"Elevenstone!"hethought；"goneup!"and，clippingacigar，hesatdowninthesmoking-roomwithanovel。

Afterhalfanhourhedroppedthebook。Thereseemedsomethingratherfatuousaboutthisstory，forthoughithadathrillingplot，andwasfullofwell-connectedpeople，ithadapparentlybeencontrivedtothrownolightonanythingwhatever。Helookedattheauthor\'sname；everyonewashighlyrecommendingit。Hebeganthinking，andstaringatthefire……

Lookingup，hesawAntonia\'ssecondbrother，ayoungmanintheRifles，bendingoverhimwithsunnycheeksandlazysmile，clearlyjustalittledrunk。

"Congratulateyou，oldchap!Isay，whatmadeyougrowthatb-b-eastlybeard？"

Sheltongrinned。

"PillbottleoftheDuchess!"readyoungDennant，takingupthebook。

"Youbeenreadingthat？Rippin\'，isn\'tit？"

"Oh，ripping!"repliedShelton。

"Rippin\'plot!Whenyougetholdofanovelyoudon\'twantanyrotabout——whatd\'youcallit？——psychology，youwanttobeamused。"

"Rather!"murmuredShelton。

"That\'sanawfullygoodbitwherethePresidentstealsherdiamondsThere\'soldBenjy!Hallo，Benjy!"

"Hallo，Bill，oldman!"

ThisBenjywasayoung，clean-shavencreature，whosefaceandvoiceandmannerwereaperfectblendofsteelandgeniality。

Inadditiontothisyoungmanwhowassosmoothandhardandcheery，agrey，short-beardedgentleman，withmisanthropiceyes，calledStroud，cameup；togetherwithanothermanofShelton\'sage，withamoustacheandabaldpatchthesizeofacrown-piece，whomightbeseenintheclubanynightoftheyearwhentherewasnoracingoutofreachofLondon。

"Youknow，"beganyoungDennant，"thatthisbounder"——heslappedtheyoungmanBenjyontheknee——"isgoingtobesplicedto-morrow。MissCasserol——youknowtheCasserols——MuncasterGate。"

"ByJove!"saidShelton，delightedtobeabletosaysomethingtheywouldunderstand。

"YoungChampion\'sthebestman，andI\'mthesecondbest。Itellyouwhat，oldchap，you\'dbettercomewithmeandgetyoureyein；youwon\'tgetsuchanotherchanceofpractice。Benjy\'llgiveyouacard。"

"Delighted!"murmuredBenjy。

"Whereisit？"

"St。Briabas；two-thirty。Comeandseehowtheydothetrick。I\'llcallforyouatone；we\'llhavesomelunchandgotogether"；againhepattedBenjy\'sknee。

Sheltonnoddedhisassent；thepiquantcallousnessoftheaffairhadmadehimshiver，andfurtivelyheeyedthesteelyBenjy，whosesuavityhadneverwavered，andwhoappearedtotakeagreaterinterestinsomeapproachingracethaninhiscomingmarriage。ButSheltonknewfromhisownsensationsthatthiscouldnotreallybethecase；itwasmerelyaquestionof"goodform，"theconceitofasuperiorbreeding，thedutynottogiveoneselfaway。AndwheninturnhemarkedtheeyesofStroudfixedonBenjy，undershaggybrows，andthecuriousgreedyglancesoftheracingman，hefeltsomehowsorryforhim。

"Who\'sthatfellowwiththegameleg——I\'malwaysseeinghimabout？"

askedtheracingman。

AndSheltonsawasallowman，conspicuousforawantofpartinginhishairandacertainrestlessnessofattitude。

"HisnameisBayes，"saidStroud；"spendshalfhistimeamongtheChinese——musthaveagrudgeagainstthem!Andnowhe\'sgothisleghecan\'tgothereanymore。"

"Chinese？Whatdoeshedotothem？"

"Biblesorguns。Don\'taskme!Anadventurer。"

"Looksabitofabounder，"saidtheracingman。

SheltongazedatthetwitchingeyebrowsofoldStroud；hesawatoncehowitmustannoyamanwhohadabilletinthe"WoodsandForests，"

andplentyoftimefor"bridge"andgossipathisclub，toseethesepeoplewithuntidylives。Aminutelaterthemanwiththe"gameleg"

passedclosebehindhischair，andSheltonperceivedatoncehowintelligibletheresentmentofhisfellow-memberswas。Hehadeyeswhich，notuncommoninthiscountry，lookedlikefiresbehindsteelbars；heseemedtheverykindofmantodoallsortsofthingsthatwere"badform，"amanwhomightevengoasfaraschivalry。HelookedstraightatShelton，andhisuncompromisingglancegaveanimpressionoffierceloneliness；altogether，animproperpersontobelongtosuch。aclub。Sheltonrememberedthewordsofanoldfriendofhisfather\'s:"Yes，Dick，allsortsoffellowsbelonghere，andtheycomehereforallsortso\'reasons，andalotofemcomebecausethey\'venowhereelsetogo，poorbeggars"；and，glancingfromthemanwiththe"gameleg"toStroud，itoccurredtoSheltonthatevenhe，oldStroud，mightbeoneofthesepoorbeggars。Oneneverknew!AlookatBenjy，containedandcheery，restoredhim。Ah，theluckydevil!Hewouldnothavetocomehereanymore!andthethoughtofthelasteveninghehimselfwouldbespendingbeforelongfloodedhismindwithasweetnessthatwasalmostpain。

"Benjy，I\'llplayyouahundredup!"saidyoungBillDennant。

Stroudandtheracingmanwenttowatchthegame；Sheltonwasleftoncemoretoreverie。

"Goodform!"thoughthe；"thatfellowmustbemadeofsteel。They\'llgoonsomewhere；stickabouthalfthenightplayingpoker，orsomesuchfoolery。"

Hecrossedovertothewindow。Rainhadbeguntofall；thestreetslookedwildanddraughty。Thecabmenwereputtingontheircoats。

Twowomenscurriedby，huddledunderoneumbrella，andathin-

clothed，dogged-lookingscarecrowloungedpastwithasurly，desperatestep。Shelton，returningtohischair，threadedhiswayamongsthisfellow-members。Aprocessionofoldschoolandcollegefriendscameupbeforehiseyes。Afterall，whathadtherebeeninhisowneducation，ortheirs，togivethemanyotherstandardthanthis"goodform"？Whathadtherebeentoteachthemanythingoflife？Theirimbecilitywasincrediblewhenyoucametothinkofit。

Theyhadalltheairofknowingeverything，andreallytheyknewnothing——nothingofNature，Art，ortheEmotions；nothingofthebondsthatbindallmentogether。Why，evensuchwordswerenot"goodform"；nothingoutsidetheirlittlecirclewas"goodform。"

Theyhadafixedpointofviewoverlifebecausetheycameofcertainschools，andcolleges，andregiments!Andtheywerethoseinchargeofthestate，oflaws，andscience，ofthearmy，andreligion。Well，itwastheirsystem——thesystemnottostarttooyoung，toformhealthyfibre，andlettheafter-lifedevelopit!

"Successful!"hethought，nearlystumblingoverapairofpatent-

leatherbootsbelongingtoamoon-faced，genial-lookingmemberwithgoldnose-nippers；"oh，it\'ssuccessful!"

Somebodycameandpickedupfromthetabletheveryvolumewhichhadoriginallyinspiredthistrainofthought，andSheltoncouldseehissolemnpleasureasheread。Inthewhiteofhiseyetherewasatorpidandcomposedabstraction。Therewasnothinginthatbooktostartlehimormakehimthink。

Themoon-facedmemberwiththepatentbootscameupandbegantalkingofhisrecentvisittothesouthofFrance。Hehadascandalousanecdoteortwototell，andhisbroadfacebeamedbehindhisgoldnose-nippers；hewasalargemanwithsuchastoreofeasy，worldlyhumourthatitwasimpossiblenottoappreciatehisgossip，hegavesoperfectanimpressionofenjoyinglife，anddoinghimselfwell。

"Well，good-night!"hemurmured——"Anengagement!"——andthecertaintyheleftbehindthathisengagementmustbecharmingandillicitwaspleasanttothesoul。

And，slowlytakinguphisglass，Sheltondrank；thesenseofwell-

beingwasuponhim。Hissuperioritytothesehisfellow-memberssoothedhim。Hesawthroughalltheshamofthisclublife，themeannessofthisworshipofsuccess，theshamofkid-glovednovelists，"goodform，"andtheterrificdecencyofoureducation。

Itwassoothingthustoseethroughthings，soothingthustobesuperior；andfromthesoftrecessesofhischairhepuffedoutsmokeandstretchedhislimbstowardthefire；andthefireburnedbackathimwithadiscreetandvenerableglow。

CHAPTERVIII

THEWEDDING

Puncutaltohisword，BillDennantcalledforSheltonatoneo\'clock。

"IbetoldBenjy\'sfeelingabitcheap，"saidhe，astheygotoutoftheircabatthechurchdoorandpassedbetweenthecrowdedfilesofunelect，whoseeyes，socuriousandpitiful，devouredthemfromthepavement。

Theashenfaceofawoman，withababyinherarmsandtwomorebyherside，lookedaseagerasifshehadneverexperiencedthepangsofraggedmatrimony。Sheltonwentininexplicablyuneasy；thepriceofhistiewastheirboardandlodgingforaweek。Hefollowedhisfuturebrother-in-lawtoapewonthebridegroom\'sside，for，withintuitiveperceptionofthesexes\'endlesswarfare，eachoftheopposingpartiestothiscontracthaditsserriedbattalion，thearrowsofwhosesuspicionkeptglancingacrossandacrossthecentralaisle。

BillDennant\'seyesbegantotwinkle。

"There\'soldBenjy!"hewhispered；andSheltonlookedattheherooftheday。Asubduedpallorwastraceableundertheweathereduniformityofhisshavenface；butthewell-bred，artificialsmilehebentupontheguestshaditswontedsteelysuavity。Abouthisdressandhisneatfigurewasthatstudiedeasewhichliftsmenfromtheruckofcommonbridegrooms。Therewerenoholesinhisarmourthroughwhichtheimpertinentmightpry。

"GoodoldBenjy!"whisperedyoungDennant；"Isay，theylookabitshortofclass，thoseCasserols。"

Shelton，whowasacquaintedwiththisfamily，smiled。Thesensuoussanctityallroundhadbeguntoinfluencehim。Aperfumeofflowersanddressesfoughtwiththenaturalodourofthechurch；therustleofwhisperingsandskirtsstruckthroughthenativesilenceoftheaisles，andSheltonidlyfixedhiseyesonaladyinthepewinfront；withoutintheleastdesiringtomakeaspeculationofthissort，hewonderedwhetherherfacewasascharmingasthelinesofherbackintheirdelicate，skin-tightsettingofpearlgrey；hisglancewanderedtothechancelwithitsstacksofflowers，tothegrave，businessfacesofthepresidingpriests，tilltheorganbeganrollingouttheweddingmarch。

"They\'reoff!"whisperedyoungDermant。

SheltonwasconsciousofashiverrunningthroughtheaudiencewhichremindedhimofabullfighthehadseeninSpain。Thebridecameslowlyuptheaisle。"Antoniawilllooklikethat，"hethought，"andthechurchwillbefilledwithpeoplelikethis……She\'llbeashowtothem!"Thebridewasoppositehimnow，andbyaninstinctofcommonchivalryheturnedawayhiseyes；itseemedtohimashametolookatthatdowncastheadabovethesilvermysteryofherperfectraiment；themodestheadfull，doubtless，ofdevotionandpureyearnings；thestatelyheadwherenosuchthoughtas"HowamI

looking，thisdayofalldays，beforeallLondon？"hadeverentered；

theproudhead，whichnosuchfearas"HowamIcarryingitoff？"

couldsurelybebesmirching。

Hesawbelowthesurfaceofthisdramaplayedbeforehiseyes，andsethisface，asamanmightwhofoundhimselfassistingatasacrifice。Thewordsfell，unrelenting，onhisears:"Forbetter，forworse，forricher，forpoorer；insicknessandinhealth——"andopeningthePrayerBookhefoundtheMarriageService，whichhehadnotlookedatsincehewasaboy，andashereadhehadsomeverycurioussensations。

Allthiswouldsoonbehappeningtohimself!Hewentonreadinginakindofstupor，untilarousedbyhiscompanionwhispering，"Noluck!"

Allaroundthererosearustlingofskirts；hesawatallfiguremountthepulpitandstandmotionless。Massiveandhigh-featured，sunkenofeye，hetowered，insnowycambricandacrimsonstole，abovetheblacknessofhisrostrum；itseemedhehadbeenchosenforhisbeauty。Sheltonwasstillgazingatthestitchingofhisgloves，whenonceagaintheorganplayedtheWeddingMarch。Allweresmiling，andafewwereweeping，craningtheirheadstowardsthebride。"Carnivalofsecond-handemotions!"thoughtShelton；andhe，too，cranedhisheadandbrushedhishat。Then，smirkingathisfriends，hemadehiswaytowardsthedoor。

IntheCasserols\'househefoundhimselfatlastgoingroundthepresentswiththeeldestCasserolsurviving，atallgirlinpaleviolet，whohadbeenchiefbridesmaid。

"Didn\'titgooffwell，Mr。Shelton？"shewassaying"Oh，awfully!"

"Ialwaysthinkit\'ssoawkwardforthemanwaitingupthereforthebridetocome。"

"Yes，"murmuredShelton。

"Don\'tyouthinkit\'ssmart，thebridesmaidshavingnohats？"

Sheltonhadnotnoticedthisimprovement，butheagreed。

"Thatwasmyidea；Ithinkit\'sverychic。They\'vehadfifteentea-sets-sodull，isn\'tit？"

"ByJove!"Sheltonhastenedtoremark。

"Oh，itsfearfullyusefultohavealotofthingsyoudon\'twant；ofcourse，youchangethemforthoseyoudo。"

ThewholeofLondonseemedtohavedisgorgeditsshopsintothisroom；helookedatMissCasserol\'sface，andwasgreatlystruckbytheshrewdacquisitivenessofhersmalleyes。

"Isthatyourfuturebrother-in-law？"sheasked，pointingtoBillDennantwithalittlemovementofherchin；"Ithinkhe\'ssuchabrightboy。Iwantyoubothtocometodinner，andhelptokeepthingsjolly。It\'ssodeadlyafterawedding。"

AndSheltonsaidtheywould。

Theyadjournedtothehallnow，towaitforthebride\'sdeparture。

Herfaceasshecamedownthestairswasimpassive，gay，withafurtivetroubleintheeyes，andoncemoreSheltonhadtheoddsensationofhavingsinnedagainsthismanhood。Jammedclosetohimwasheroldnurse，whosepuffy，yellowfacewaspoutingwithemotion，whiletearsrolledfromhereyes。Shewastryingtosaysomething，butinthehubbubherfarewellwaslost。Therewasascampertothecarriage，aflurryofriceandflowers；theshoewasflungagainstthesharplydrawn-upwindow。ThenBenjy\'sshavenfacewasseenamoment，blandandsteely；thefootmanfoldedhisarms，andwithasolemncrunchthebroughamwheelsrolledaway。"Howsplendidlyitwentoff!"saidavoiceonShelton\'sright。"Shelookedalittlepale，"saidavoiceonShelton\'sleft。Heputhishanduptohisforehead；behindhimtheoldnursesniffed。

"Dick，"saidyoungDennantinhisear，"thisisn\'tgoodenough；I

votewebolt。"

Sheltonassenting，theywalkedtowardsthePark；norcouldhetellwhethertheslightnauseaheexperiencedwasduetoafternoonchampagneortotheceremonythathadgonesowell。

"What\'supwithyou？"askedDennant；"youlookasglumasanym-monkey。"

"Nothing，"saidShelton；"Iwasonlythinkingwhathumbugsweallare!"

BillDennantstoppedinthemiddleofthecrossing，andclappedhisfuturebrother-in-lawupontheshoulder。

"Oh，"saidhe，"ifyou\'regoingtotalkshop，I\'moff。"

CHAPTERIX

THEDINNER

ThedinnerattheCasserols\'wasgiventothoseofthebride\'sfriendswhohadbeenconspicuousintheday\'sfestivities。SheltonfoundhimselfbetweenMissCasserolandaladyundressedtomuchthesamedegree。Oppositesatamanwithasinglediamondstud，awhitewaistcoat，blackmoustache，andhawk-likeface。Thiswas，infact，oneofthoseinterestinghousesoccupiedbypeopleoftheuppermiddleclasswhohaveimbibedatasteforsmartsociety。Itsinhabitants，bynatureacquisitiveandcautious，economical，tenacious，hadlearnttoworshiptheword"smart。"Theresultwasakindofheavyfroth，anairofthoroughlydomesticvice。Inadditiontotheconventionallyfast，Sheltonhadmetthereoneortwoladies，who，havingbeendivorced，orhavingyettobe，stillmaintainedtheirpositionin"society。"Divorcedladieswhodidnotsomaintaintheirplacewerenevertobefound，fortheCasserolshadagreatrespectformarriage。HehadalsometthereAmericanladieswhowere"tooamusing"——never，ofcourse，Americanmen，Mesopotamiansofthefinancialortheracingtype，andseveralofthosegentlemenwhohadbeen，orwereabouttobe，engagedinatransactionwhichmightoragainmightnot，"comeoff，"andinconductofanorderwhichmight，oragainmightnotbespotted。Thelineheknew，wasalwaysdrawnatthoseinanycategorywhowereactuallyfoundout，forthevalueoftheseladiesandthesegentlemenwasnottheirclaimtopity——nothingsosentimental——buttheir"smartness，"clothes，jokes，racingtips，their"bridgeparties，"andtheirmotors。

Insum，thehousewasonewhosefundamentaldomesticityattractedandshelteredthosewhoweretoo"smart"tokeeptheirheadsforlongabovethewater。

Hishost，agrey，clean-shavencityman，withalongupperlip，wastryingtounderstandaladytheaudacityofwhosespeechcameringingdownthetable。Sheltonhimselfhadgivenuptheeffortwithhisneighbours，andmadelovetohisdinner，which，survivingtheincoherenceoftheatmosphere，emergedasaworkofart。ItwaswithsurprisethathefoundMissCasseroladdressinghim。

"Ialwayssaythatthegreatthingistobejolly。Ifyoucan\'tfindanythingtomakeyoulaugh，pretendyoudo；it\'ssomuch\'smartertobeamusin\'。Nowdon\'tyouagree？"

Thephilosophyseemedexcellent。