第7章

"Iknowwhatyoumean，"saidSymeinalowvoice，"themaninthedarkroom。ButSundaymusthavekilledhimbynow。"

"Perhaps，"saidtheothersteadily;"butifso，hewastheonlymanwhomSundayfoundithardtokill。"

"Iheardwhatyousaid，"saidtheProfessor，withhisbackturned。

"IalsoamholdinghardontothethingIneversaw。"

AllofasuddenSyme，whowasstandingasifblindwithintrospectivethought，swungroundandcriedout，likeamanwakingfromsleep——

"WhereistheColonel？Ithoughthewaswithus！"

"TheColonel！Yes，"criedBull，"whereonearthistheColonel？"

"HewenttospeaktoRenard，"saidtheProfessor。

"Wecannotleavehimamongallthosebeasts，"criedSyme。"Letusdielikegentlemenif——"

"DonotpitytheColonel，"saidRatcliffe，withapalesneer。"Heisextremelycomfortable。Heis——"

"No！no！no！"criedSymeinakindoffrenzy，"nottheColoneltoo！

Iwillneverbelieveit！"

"Willyoubelieveyoureyes？"askedtheother，andpointedtothebeach。

Manyoftheirpursuershadwadedintothewatershakingtheirfists，buttheseawasrough，andtheycouldnotreachthepier。

Twoorthreefigures，however，stoodonthebeginningofthestonefootway，andseemedtobecautiouslyadvancingdownit。Theglareofachancelanternlitupthefacesofthetwoforemost。Onefaceworeablackhalf—mask，andunderitthemouthwastwistingaboutinsuchamadnessofnervesthattheblacktuftofbeardwriggledroundandroundlikearestless，livingthing。TheotherwastheredfaceandwhitemoustacheofColonelDucroix。Theywereinearnestconsultation。

"Yes，heisgonetoo，"saidtheProfessor，andsatdownonastone。"Everything’sgone。I’mgone！Ican’ttrustmyownbodilymachinery。Ifeelasifmyownhandmightflyupandstrikeme。"

"Whenmyhandfliesup，"saidSyme，"itwillstrikesomebodyelse，"andhestrodealongthepiertowardstheColonel，theswordinonehandandthelanternintheother。

Asiftodestroythelasthopeordoubt，theColonel，whosawhimcoming，pointedhisrevolverathimandfired。TheshotmissedSyme，butstruckhissword，breakingitshortatthehilt。Symerushedon，andswungtheironlanternabovehishead。

"JudasbeforeHerod！"hesaid，andstrucktheColoneldownuponthestones。ThenheturnedtotheSecretary，whosefrightfulmouthwasalmostfoamingnow，andheldthelamphighwithsorigidandarrestingagesture，thatthemanwas，asitwere，frozenforamoment，andforcedtohear。

"Doyouseethislantern？"criedSymeinaterriblevoice。"Doyouseethecrosscarvedonit，andtheflameinside？Youdidnotmakeit。Youdidnotlightit，Bettermenthanyou，menwhocouldbelieveandobey，twistedtheentrailsofironandpreservedthelegendoffire。Thereisnotastreetyouwalkon，thereisnotathreadyouwear，thatwasnotmadeasthislanternwas，bydenyingyourphilosophyofdirtandrats。Youcanmakenothing。Youcanonlydestroy。Youwilldestroymankind;youwilldestroytheworld。

Letthatsufficeyou。YetthisoneoldChristianlanternyoushallnotdestroy。Itshallgowhereyourempireofapeswillneverhavethewittofindit。"

HestrucktheSecretaryoncewiththelanternsothathestaggered;

andthen，whirlingittwiceroundhishead，sentitflyingfarouttosea，whereitflaredlikearoaringrocketandfell。

"Swords！"shoutedSyme，turninghisflamingface;tothethreebehindhim。"Letuschargethesedogs，forourtimehascometodie。"

Histhreecompanionscameafterhimswordinhand。Syme’sswordwasbroken，butherentabludgeonfromthefistofafisherman，flinginghimdown。Inamomenttheywouldhaveflungthemselvesuponthefaceofthemobandperished，whenaninterruptioncame。

TheSecretary，eversinceSyme’sspeech，hadstoodwithhishandtohisstrickenheadasifdazed;nowhesuddenlypulledoffhisblackmask。

Thepalefacethuspeeledinthelamplightrevealednotsomuchrageasastonishment。Heputuphishandwithananxiousauthority。

"Thereissomemistake，"hesaid。"Mr。Syme，Ihardlythinkyouunderstandyourposition。Iarrestyouinthenameofthelaw。"

"Ofthelaw？"saidSyme，anddroppedhisstick。

"Certainly！"saidtheSecretary。"IamadetectivefromScotlandYard，"andhetookasmallbluecardfromhispocket。

"Andwhatdoyousupposeweare？"askedtheProfessor，andthrewuphisarms。

"You，"saidtheSecretarystiffly，"are，asIknowforafact，membersoftheSupremeAnarchistCouncil。Disguisedasoneofyou，I——"

Dr。Bulltossedhisswordintothesea。

"ThereneverwasanySupremeAnarchistCouncil，"hesaid。"Wewereallalotofsillypolicemenlookingateachother。Andallthesenicepeoplewhohavebeenpepperinguswithshotthoughtwewerethedynamiters。IknewIcouldn’tbewrongaboutthemob，"hesaid，beamingovertheenormousmultitude，whichstretchedawaytothedistanceonbothsides。"Vulgarpeoplearenevermad。I’mvulgarmyself，andIknow。Iamnowgoingonshoretostandadrinktoeverybodyhere。"

CHAPTERXIII

THEPURSUITOFTHEPRESIDENT

NEXTmorningfivebewilderedbuthilariouspeopletooktheboatforDover。ThepooroldColonelmighthavehadsomecausetocomplain，havingbeenfirstforcedtofightfortwofactionsthatdidn’texist，andthenknockeddownwithanironlantern。Buthewasamagnanimousoldgentleman，andbeingmuchrelievedthatneitherpartyhadanythingtodowithdynamite，hesawthemoffonthepierwithgreatgeniality。

Thefivereconcileddetectiveshadahundreddetailstoexplaintoeachother。TheSecretaryhadtotellSymehowtheyhadcometowearmasksoriginallyinordertoapproachthesupposedenemyasfellow—conspirators;

Symehadtoexplainhowtheyhadfledwithsuchswiftnessthroughacivilisedcountry。Butaboveallthesemattersofdetailwhichcouldbeexplained，rosethecentralmountainofthematterthattheycouldnotexplain。Whatdiditallmean？Iftheywereallharmlessofficers，whatwasSunday？Ifhehadnotseizedtheworld，whatonearthhadhebeenupto？InspectorRatcliffewasstillgloomyaboutthis。

"Ican’tmakeheadortailofoldSunday’slittlegameanymorethanyoucan，"hesaid。"ButwhateverelseSundayis，heisn’tablamelesscitizen。Damnit！doyourememberhisface？"

"Igrantyou，"answeredSyme，"thatIhaveneverbeenabletoforgetit。"

"Well，"saidtheSecretary，"Isupposewecanfindoutsoon，fortomorrowwehaveournextgeneralmeeting。Youwillexcuseme，"

hesaid，witharatherghastlysmile，"forbeingwellacquaintedwithmysecretarialduties。"

"Isupposeyouareright，"saidtheProfessorreflectively。"I

supposewemightfinditoutfromhim;butIconfessthatIshouldfeelabitafraidofaskingSundaywhohereallyis。"

"Why，"askedtheSecretary，"forfearofbombs？"

"No，"saidtheProfessor，"forfearhemighttellme。"

"Letushavesomedrinks，"saidDr。Bull，afterasilence。

Throughouttheirwholejourneybyboatandtraintheywerehighlyconvivial，buttheyinstinctivelykepttogether。Dr。Bull，whohadalwaysbeentheoptimistoftheparty，endeavouredtopersuadetheotherfourthatthewholecompanycouldtakethesamehansomcabfromVictoria;butthiswasover—ruled，andtheywentinafour—wheeler，withDr。Bullonthebox，singing。TheyfinishedtheirjourneyatanhotelinPiccadillyCircus，soastobeclosetotheearlybreakfastnextmorninginLeicesterSquare。Yeteventhentheadventuresofthedaywerenotentirelyover。Dr。Bull，discontentedwiththegeneralproposaltogotobed，hadstrolledoutofthehotelatabouteleventoseeandtastesomeofthebeautiesofLondon。Twentyminutesafterwards，however，hecamebackandmadequiteaclamourinthehall。Syme，whotriedatfirsttosoothehim，wasforcedatlasttolistentohiscommunicationwithquitenewattention。

"ItellyouI’veseenhim！"saidDr。Bull，withthickemphasis。

"Whom？"askedSymequickly。"NotthePresident？"

"Notsobadasthat，"saidDr。Bull，withunnecessarylaughter，"notsobadasthat。I’vegothimhere。"

"Gotwhomhere？"askedSymeimpatiently。

"Hairyman，"saidtheotherlucidly，"manthatusedtobehairyman——Gogol。Hereheis，"andhepulledforwardbyareluctantelbowtheidenticalyoungmanwhofivedaysbeforehadmarchedoutoftheCouncilwiththinredhairandapaleface，thefirstofalltheshamanarchistswhohadbeenexposed。

"Whydoyouworrywithme？"hecried。"Youhaveexpelledmeasaspy。"

"Weareallspies！"whisperedSyme。

"We’reallspies！"shoutedDr。Bull。"Comeandhaveadrink。"

NextmorningthebattalionofthereunitedsixmarchedstolidlytowardsthehotelinLeicesterSquare。

"Thisismorecheerful，"saidDr。Bull;"wearesixmengoingtoaskonemanwhathemeans。"

"Ithinkitisabitqueererthanthat，"saidSyme。"Ithinkitissixmengoingtoaskonemanwhattheymean。"

TheyturnedinsilenceintotheSquare，andthoughthehotelwasintheoppositecorner，theysawatoncethelittlebalconyandafigurethatlookedtoobigforit。Hewassittingalonewithbenthead，poringoveranewspaper。Butallhiscouncillors，whohadcometovotehimdown，crossedthatSquareasiftheywerewatchedoutofheavenbyahundredeyes。

Theyhaddisputedmuchupontheirpolicy，aboutwhethertheyshouldleavetheunmaskedGogolwithoutandbegindiplomatically，orwhethertheyshouldbringhiminandblowupthegunpowderatonce。TheinfluenceofSymeandBullprevailedforthelattercourse，thoughtheSecretarytothelastaskedthemwhytheyattackedSundaysorashly。

"Myreasonisquitesimple，"saidSyme。"IattackhimrashlybecauseIamafraidofhim。"

TheyfollowedSymeupthedarkstairinsilence，andtheyallcameoutsimultaneouslyintothebroadsunlightofthemorningandthebroadsunlightofSunday’ssmile。

"Delightful！"hesaid。"Sopleasedtoseeyouall。Whatanexquisitedayitis。IstheCzardead？"

TheSecretary，whohappenedtobeforemost，drewhimselftogetherforadignifiedoutburst。

"No，sir，"hesaidsternly"therehasbeennomassacre。Ibringyounewsofnosuchdisgustingspectacles。"

"Disgustingspectacles？"repeatedthePresident，withabright，inquiringsmile。"YoumeanDr。Bull’sspectacles？"

TheSecretarychokedforamoment，andthePresidentwentonwithasortofsmoothappeal——

"Ofcourse，weallhaveouropinionsandevenoureyes，butreallytocallthemdisgustingbeforethemanhimself——"

Dr。Bulltoreoffhisspectaclesandbrokethemonthetable。

"Myspectaclesareblackguardly，"hesaid，"butI’mnot。Lookatmyface。"

"Idaresayit’sthesortoffacethatgrowsonone，"saidthePresident，"infact，itgrowsonyou;andwhoamItoquarrelwiththewildfruitsupontheTreeofLife？Idaresayitwillgrowonmesomeday。"

"Wehavenotimefortomfoolery，"saidtheSecretary，breakinginsavagely。"Wehavecometoknowwhatallthismeans。Whoareyou？

Whatareyou？Whydidyougetusallhere？Doyouknowwhoandwhatweare？Areyouahalf—wittedmanplayingtheconspirator，orareyouaclevermanplayingthefool？Answerme，Itellyou。"

"Candidates，"murmuredSunday，"areonlyrequiredtoanswereightoutoftheseventeenquestionsonthepaper。AsfarasIcanmakeout，youwantmetotellyouwhatIam，andwhatyouare，andwhatthistableis，andwhatthisCouncilis，andwhatthisworldisforallIknow。Well，Iwillgosofarastorendtheveilofonemystery。Ifyouwanttoknowwhatyouare，youareasetofhighlywell—intentionedyoungjackasses。"

"Andyou，"saidSyme，leaningforward，"whatareyou？"

"I？WhatamI？"roaredthePresident，andheroseslowlytoanincredibleheight，likesomeenormouswaveabouttoarchabovethemandbreak。"YouwanttoknowwhatIam，doyou？Bull，youareamanofscience。Grubintherootsofthosetreesandfindoutthetruthaboutthem。Syme，youareapoet。Stareatthosemorningclouds。ButItellyouthis，thatyouwillhavefoundoutthetruthofthelasttreeandthetop—mostcloudbeforethetruthaboutme。Youwillunderstandthesea，andIshallbestillariddle;youshallknowwhatthestarsare，andnotknowwhatI

am。Sincethebeginningoftheworldallmenhavehuntedmelikeawolf——kingsandsages，andpoetsandlawgivers，allthechurches，andallthephilosophies。ButIhaveneverbeencaughtyet，andtheskieswillfallinthetimeIturntobay。Ihavegiventhemagoodrunfortheirmoney，andIwillnow。"

Beforeoneofthemcouldmove，themonstrousmanhadswunghimselflikesomehugeourang—outangoverthebalustradeofthebalcony。

Yetbeforehedroppedhepulledhimselfupagainasonahorizontalbar，andthrustinghisgreatchinovertheedgeofthebalcony，saidsolemnly——

"There’sonethingI’lltellyouthoughaboutwhoIam。Iamthemaninthedarkroom，whomadeyouallpolicemen。"

Withthathefellfromthebalcony，bouncingonthestonesbelowlikeagreatballofindia—rubber，andwentboundingofftowardsthecorneroftheAlhambra，wherehehailedahansom—cabandspranginsideit。Thesixdetectiveshadbeenstandingthunderstruckandlividinthelightofhislastassertion;butwhenhedisappearedintothecab，Syme’spracticalsensesreturnedtohim，andleapingoverthebalconysorecklesslyasalmosttobreakhislegs，hecalledanothercab。

HeandBullsprangintothecabtogether，theProfessorandtheInspectorintoanother，whiletheSecretaryandthelateGogolscrambledintoathirdjustintimetopursuetheflyingSyme，whowaspursuingtheflyingPresident。Sundayledthemawildchasetowardsthenorth—west，hiscabman，evidentlyundertheinfluenceofmorethancommoninducements，urgingthehorseatbreakneckspeed。ButSymewasinnomoodfordelicacies，andhestoodupinhisowncabshouting，"Stopthief！"untilcrowdsranalongbesidehiscab，andpolicemenbegantostopandaskquestions。AllthishaditsinfluenceuponthePresident’scabman，whobegantolookdubious，andtoslowdowntoatrot。Heopenedthetraptotalkreasonablytohisfare，andinsodoingletthelongwhipdroopoverthefrontofthecab。Sundayleantforward，seizedit，andjerkeditviolentlyoutoftheman’shand。Thenstandingupinfrontofthecabhimself，helashedthehorseandroaredaloud，sothattheywentdownthestreetslikeaflyingstorm。Throughstreetafterstreetandsquareaftersquarewentwhirlingthispreposterousvehicle，inwhichthefarewasurgingthehorseandthedrivertryingdesperatelytostopit。Theotherthreecabscameafterit（ifthephrasebepermissibleofacab）likepantinghounds。Shopsandstreetsshotbylikerattlingarrows。

Atthehighestecstacyofspeed，Sundayturnedroundonthesplashboardwherehestood，andstickinghisgreatgrinningheadoutofthecab，withwhitehairwhistlinginthewind，hemadeahorriblefaceathispursuers，likesomecolossalurchin。Thenraisinghisrighthandswiftly，heflungaballofpaperinSyme’sfaceandvanished。Symecaughtthethingwhileinstinctivelywardingitoff，anddiscoveredthatitconsistedoftwocrumpledpapers。Onewasaddressedtohimself，andtheothertoDr。Bull，withaverylong，anditistobefearedpartlyironical，stringoflettersafterhisname。Dr。Bull’saddresswas，atanyrate，considerablylongerthanhiscommunication，forthecommunicationconsistedentirelyofthewords：——

"WhataboutMartinTuppernow？"

"Whatdoestheoldmaniacmean？"askedBull，staringatthewords。

"Whatdoesyourssay，Syme？"

Syme’smessagewas，atanyrate，longer，andranasfollows：——

"NoonewouldregretanythinginthenatureofaninterferencebytheArchdeaconmorethanI。Itrustitwillnotcometothat。But，forthelasttime，whereareyourgoloshes？Thethingistoobad，especiallyafterwhatunclesaid。"

ThePresident’scabmanseemedtoberegainingsomecontroloverhishorse，andthepursuersgainedalittleastheysweptroundintotheEdgwareRoad。Andherethereoccurredwhatseemedtothealliesaprovidentialstoppage。Trafficofeverykindwasswervingtorightorleftorstopping，fordownthelongroadwascomingtheunmistakableroarannouncingthefire—engine，whichinafewsecondswentbylikeabrazenthunderbolt。Butquickasitwentby，Sundayhadboundedoutofhiscab，sprungatthefire—engine，caughtit，slunghimselfontoit，andwasseenashedisappearedinthenoisydistancetalkingtotheastonishedfiremanwithexplanatorygestures。

"Afterhim！"howledSyme。"Hecan’tgoastraynow。There’snomistakingafire—engine。"

Thethreecabmen，whohadbeenstunnedforamoment，whippeduptheirhorsesandslightlydecreasedthedistancebetweenthemselvesandtheirdisappearingprey。ThePresidentacknowledgedthisproximitybycomingtothebackofthecar，bowingrepeatedly，kissinghishand，andfinallyflinginganeatly—foldednoteintothebosomofInspectorRatcliffe。Whenthatgentlemanopenedit，notwithoutimpatience，hefounditcontainedthewords：——

"Flyatonce。Thetruthaboutyourtrouser—stretchersisknown。

——AFRIEND。"

Thefire—enginehadstruckstillfarthertothenorth，intoaregionthattheydidnotrecognise;andasitranbyalineofhighrailingsshadowedwithtrees，thesixfriendswerestartled，butsomewhatrelieved，toseethePresidentleapfromthefire—engine，thoughwhetherthroughanotherwhimortheincreasingprotestofhisentertainerstheycouldnotsee。Beforethethreecabs，however，couldreachuptothespot，hehadgoneupthehighrailingslikeahugegreycat，tossedhimselfover，andvanishedinadarknessofleaves。

Symewithafuriousgesturestoppedhiscab，jumpedout，andsprangalsototheescalade。Whenhehadonelegoverthefenceandhisfriendswerefollowing，heturnedafaceonthemwhichshonequitepaleintheshadow。

"Whatplacecanthisbe？"heasked。"Canitbetheolddevil’shouse？I’veheardhehasahouseinNorthLondon。"

"Allthebetter，"saidtheSecretarygrimly，plantingafootinafoothold，"weshallfindhimathome。"

"No，butitisn’tthat，"saidSyme，knittinghisbrows。"Ihearthemosthorriblenoises，likedevilslaughingandsneezingandblowingtheirdevilishnoses！"

"Hisdogsbarking，ofcourse，"saidtheSecretary。

"Whynotsayhisblack—beetlesbarking！"saidSymefuriously，"snailsbarking！geraniumsbarking！Didyoueverhearadogbarklikethat？"

Hehelduphishand，andtherecameoutofthethicketalonggrowlingroarthatseemedtogetundertheskinandfreezetheflesh——alowthrillingroarthatmadeathrobbingintheairallaboutthem。

"ThedogsofSundaywouldbenoordinarydogs，"saidGogol，andshuddered。

Symehadjumpeddownontheotherside，buthestillstoodlisteningimpatiently。

"Well，listentothat，"hesaid，"isthatadog——anybody’sdog？"

Therebrokeupontheirearahoarsescreamingasofthingsprotestingandclamouringinsuddenpain;andthen，farofflikeanecho，whatsoundedlikealongnasaltrumpet。

"Well，hishouseoughttobehell！"saidtheSecretary;"andifitishell，I’mgoingin！"andhesprangoverthetallrailingsalmostwithoneswing。

Theothersfollowed。Theybrokethroughatangleofplantsandshrubs，andcameoutonanopenpath。Nothingwasinsight，butDr。Bullsuddenlystruckhishandstogether。

"Why，youasses，"hecried，"it’stheZoo！"

Astheywerelookingroundwildlyforanytraceoftheirwildquarry，akeeperinuniformcamerunningalongthepathwithamaninplainclothes。

"Hasitcomethisway？"gaspedthekeeper。

"Haswhat？"askedSyme。

"Theelephant！"criedthekeeper。"Anelephanthasgonemadandrunaway！"

"Hehasrunawaywithanoldgentleman，"saidtheotherstrangerbreathlessly，"apooroldgentlemanwithwhitehair！"

"Whatsortofoldgentleman？"askedSyme，withgreatcuriosity。

"Averylargeandfatoldgentlemaninlightgreyclothes，"saidthekeepereagerly。

"Well，"saidSyme，"ifhe’sthatparticularkindofoldgentleman，ifyou’requitesurethathe’salargeandfatoldgentlemaningreyclothes，youmaytakemywordforitthattheelephanthasnotrunawaywithhim。Hehasrunawaywiththeelephant。TheelephantisnotmadebyGodthatcouldrunawaywithhimifhedidnotconsenttotheelopement。And，bythunder，thereheis！"

Therewasnodoubtaboutitthistime。Cleanacrossthespaceofgrass，abouttwohundredyardsaway，withacrowdscreamingandscamperingvainlyathisheels，wentahugegreyelephantatanawfulstride，withhistrunkthrownoutasrigidasaship’sbowsprit，andtrumpetinglikethetrumpetofdoom。OnthebackofthebellowingandplunginganimalsatPresidentSundaywithalltheplacidityofasultan，butgoadingtheanimaltoafuriousspeedwithsomesharpobjectinhishand。

"Stophim！"screamedthepopulace。"He’llbeoutofthegate！"

"Stopalandslide！"saidthekeeper。"Heisoutofthegate！"

Andevenashespoke，afinalcrashandroarofterrorannouncedthatthegreatgreyelephanthadbrokenoutofthegatesoftheZoologicalGardens，andwascareeningdownAlbanyStreetlikeanewandswiftsortofomnibus。

"GreatLord！"criedBull，"Ineverknewanelephantcouldgosofast。Well，itmustbehansom—cabsagainifwearetokeephiminsight。"

Astheyracedalongtothegateoutofwhichtheelephanthadvanished，Symefeltaglaringpanoramaofthestrangeanimalsinthecageswhichtheypassed。Afterwardshethoughtitqueerthatheshouldhaveseenthemsoclearly。Herememberedespeciallyseeingpelicans，withtheirpreposterous，pendantthroats。Hewonderedwhythepelicanwasthesymbolofcharity，exceptitwasthatitwantedagooddealofcharitytoadmireapelican。Herememberedahornbill，whichwassimplyahugeyellowbeakwithasmallbirdtiedonbehindit。Thewholegavehimasensation，thevividnessofwhichhecouldnotexplain，thatNaturewasalwaysmakingquitemysteriousjokes。Sundayhadtoldthemthattheywouldunderstandhimwhentheyhadunderstoodthestars。Hewonderedwhethereventhearchangelsunderstoodthehornbill。

Thesixunhappydetectivesflungthemselvesintocabsandfollowedtheelephantsharingtheterrorwhichhespreadthroughthelongstretchofthestreets。ThistimeSundaydidnotturnround，butofferedthemthesolidstretchofhisunconsciousback，whichmaddenedthem，ifpossible，morethanhispreviousmockeries。JustbeforetheycametoBakerStreet，however，hewasseentothrowsomethingfarupintotheair，asaboydoesaballmeaningtocatchitagain。Butattheirrateofracingitfellfarbehind，justbythecabcontainingGogol;andinfainthopeofaclueorforsomeimpulseunexplainable，hestoppedhiscabsoastopickitup。Itwasaddressedtohimself，andwasquiteabulkyparcel。Onexamination，however，itsbulkwasfoundtoconsistofthirty—threepiecesofpaperofnovaluewrappedoneroundtheother。Whenthelastcoveringwastornawayitreduceditselftoasmallslipofpaper，onwhichwaswritten：——

"Theword，Ifancy，shouldbe’pink’。"

ThemanonceknownasGogolsaidnothing，butthemovementsofhishandsandfeetwerelikethoseofamanurgingahorsetorenewedefforts。

Throughstreetafterstreet，throughdistrictafterdistrict，wenttheprodigyoftheflyingelephant，callingcrowdstoeverywindow，anddrivingthetrafficleftandright。Andstillthroughallthisinsanepublicitythethreecabstoiledafterit，untiltheycametoberegardedaspartofaprocession，andperhapstheadvertisementofacircus。Theywentatsucharatethatdistanceswereshortenedbeyondbelief，andSymesawtheAlbertHallinKensingtonwhenhethoughtthathewasstillinPaddington。Theanimal’spacewasevenmorefastandfreethroughtheempty，aristocraticstreetsofSouthKensington，andhefinallyheadedtowardsthatpartofthesky—linewheretheenormousWheelofEarl’sCourtstoodupinthesky。Thewheelgrewlargerandlarger，tillitfilledheavenlikethewheelofstars。

Thebeastoutstrippedthecabs。Theylosthimroundseveralcorners，andwhentheycametooneofthegatesoftheEarl’sCourtExhibitiontheyfoundthemselvesfinallyblocked。Infrontofthemwasanenormouscrowd;inthemidstofitwasanenormouselephant，heavingandshudderingassuchshapelesscreaturesdo。ButthePresidenthaddisappeared。

"Wherehashegoneto？"askedSyme，slippingtotheground。

"GentlemanrushedintotheExhibition，sir！"saidanofficialinadazedmanner。Thenheaddedinaninjuredvoice："Funnygentleman，sir。Askedmetoholdhishorse，andgavemethis。"

Heheldoutwithdistasteapieceoffoldedpaper，addressed："TotheSecretaryoftheCentralAnarchistCouncil。"

TheSecretary，raging，rentitopen，andfoundwritteninsideit：——

"Whentheherringrunsamile，LettheSecretarysmile;

Whentheherringtriestofly，LettheSecretarydie。

RusticProverb。"

"Whytheeternalcrikey，"begantheSecretary，"didyouletthemanin？DopeoplecommonlycometoyouExhibitionridingonmadelephants？Do——"

"Look！"shoutedSymesuddenly。"Lookoverthere！"

"Lookatwhat？"askedtheSecretarysavagely。

"Lookatthecaptiveballoon！"saidSyme，andpointedinafrenzy。

"WhytheblazesshouldIlookatacaptiveballoon？’demandedtheSecretary。"Whatistherequeeraboutacaptiveballoon？"

"Nothing，"saidSyme，"exceptthatitisn’tcaptive！’

TheyallturnedtheireyestowheretheballoonswungandswelledabovetheExhibitiononastring，likeachild’sballoon。Asecondafterwardsthestringcameintwojustunderthecar，andtheballoon，brokenloose，floatedawaywiththefreedomofasoapbubble。

"Tenthousanddevils！"shriekedtheSecretary。"He’sgotintoit！"

andheshookhisfistsatthesky。

Theballoon，bornebysomechancewind，camerightabovethem，andtheycouldseethegreatwhiteheadofthePresidentpeeringoverthesideandlookingbenevolentlydownonthem。

"Godblessmysoul！"saidtheProfessorwiththeelderlymannerthathecouldneverdisconnectfromhisbleachedbeardandparchmentface。"Godblessmysoul！Iseemedtofancythatsomethingfellonthetopofmyhat！"

Heputupatremblinghandandtookfromthatshelfapieceoftwistedpaper，whichheopenedabsentlyonlytofinditinscribedwithatruelover’sknotand，thewords：——

"Yourbeautyhasnotleftmeindifferent。——FromLITTLESNOWDROP。"

Therewasashortsilence，andthenSymesaid，bitinghisbeard——

"I’mnotbeatenyet。Theblastedthingmustcomedownsomewhere。

Let’sfollowit！"

CHAPTERXIV

THESIXPHILOSOPHERS

ACROSSgreenfields，andbreakingthroughbloominghedges，toiledsixdraggleddetectives，aboutfivemilesoutofLondon。TheoptimistofthepartyhadatfirstproposedthattheyshouldfollowtheballoonacrossSouthEnglandinhansom—cabs。Buthewasultimatelyconvincedofthepersistentrefusaloftheballoontofollowtheroads，andthestillmorepersistentrefusalofthecabmentofollowtheballoon。Consequentlythetirelessthoughexasperatedtravellersbrokethroughblackthicketsandploughedthroughploughedfieldstilleachwasturnedintoafiguretoooutrageoustobemistakenforatramp。ThosegreenhillsofSurreysawthefinalcollapseandtragedyoftheadmirablelightgreysuitinwhichSymehadsetoutfromSaffronPark。Hissilkhatwasbrokenoverhisnosebyaswingingbough，hiscoat—tailsweretorntotheshoulderbyarrestingthorns，theclayofEnglandwassplasheduptohiscollar;buthestillcarriedhisyellowbeardforwardwithasilentandfuriousdetermination，andhiseyeswerestillfixedonthatfloatingballofgas，whichinthefullflushofsunsetseemedcolouredlikeasunsetcloud。

"Afterall，"hesaid，"itisverybeautiful！"

"Itissingularlyandstrangelybeautiful！"saidtheProfessor。"I

wishthebeastlygas—bagwouldburst！"

"No，"saidDr。Bull，"Ihopeitwon’t。Itmighthurttheoldboy。"

"Hurthim！"saidthevindictiveProfessor，"hurthim！NotasmuchasI’dhurthimifIcouldgetupwithhim。LittleSnowdrop！"

"Idon’twanthimhurt，somehow，"saidDr。Bull。

"What！"criedtheSecretarybitterly。"Doyoubelieveallthattaleabouthisbeingourmaninthedarkroom？Sundaywouldsayhewasanybody。"

"Idon’tknowwhetherIbelieveitornot，"saidDr。Bull。"Butitisn’tthatthatImean。Ican’twisholdSunday’sballoontoburstbecause——"

"Well，"saidSymeimpatiently，"because？"

"Well，becausehe’ssojollylikeaballoonhimself，"saidDr。Bulldesperately。"Idon’tunderstandawordofallthatideaofhisbeingthesamemanwhogaveusallourbluecards。Itseemstomakeeverythingnonsense。ButIdon’tcarewhoknowsit，IalwayshadasympathyforoldSundayhimself，wickedashewas。Justasifhewasagreatbouncingbaby。HowcanIexplainwhatmyqueersympathywas？Itdidn’tpreventmyfightinghimlikehell！ShallImakeitclearifIsaythatIlikedhimbecausehewassofat？"

"Youwillnot，"saidtheSecretary。

"I’vegotitnow，"criedBull，"itwasbecausehewassofatandsolight。Justlikeaballoon。Wealwaysthinkoffatpeopleasheavy，buthecouldhavedancedagainstasylph。IseenowwhatImean。

Moderatestrengthisshowninviolence，supremestrengthisshowninlevity。Itwasliketheoldspeculations——whatwouldhappenifanelephantcouldleapupintheskylikeagrasshopper？"

"Ourelephant，"saidSyme，lookingupwards，"hasleaptintotheskylikeagrasshopper。"

"Andsomehow，"concludedBull，"that’swhyIcan’thelplikingoldSunday。No，it’snotanadmirationofforce，oranysillythinglikethat。Thereisakindofgaietyinthething，asifhewereburstingwithsomegoodnews。Haven’tyousometimesfeltitonaspringday？YouknowNatureplaystricks，butsomehowthatdayprovestheyaregood—naturedtricks。IneverreadtheBiblemyself，butthatparttheylaughatisliteraltruth，’Whyleapye，yehighhills？’Thehillsdoleap——atleast，theytryto……WhydoI

likeSunday？……howcanItellyou？……becausehe’ssuchaBounder。"

Therewasalongsilence，andthentheSecretarysaidinacurious，strainedvoice——

"YoudonotknowSundayatall。PerhapsitisbecauseyouarebetterthanI，anddonotknowhell。Iwasafiercefellow，andatriflemorbidfromthefirst。Themanwhositsindarkness，andwhochoseusall，chosemebecauseIhadallthecrazylookofaconspirator——becausemysmilewentcrooked，andmyeyesweregloomy，evenwhenIsmiled。Buttheremusthavebeensomethinginmethatansweredtothenervesinalltheseanarchicmen。ForwhenIfirstsawSundayheexpressedtome，notyourairyvitality，butsomethingbothgrossandsadintheNatureofThings。Ifoundhimsmokinginatwilightroom，aroomwithbrownblinddown，infinitelymoredepressingthanthegenialdarknessinwhichourmasterlives。Hesatthereonabench，ahugeheapofaman，darkandoutofshape。Helistenedtoallmywordswithoutspeakingorevenstirring。Ipouredoutmymostpassionateappeals，andaskedmymosteloquentquestions。Then，afteralongsilence，theThingbegantoshake，andIthoughtitwasshakenbysomesecretmalady。

Itshooklikealoathsomeandlivingjelly。ItremindedmeofeverythingIhadeverreadaboutthebasebodiesthataretheoriginoflife——thedeepsealumpsandprotoplasm。Itseemedlikethefinalformofmatter，themostshapelessandthemostshameful。

Icouldonlytellmyself，fromitsshudderings，thatitwassomethingatleastthatsuchamonstercouldbemiserable。Andthenitbrokeuponmethatthebestialmountainwasshakingwithalonelylaughter，andthelaughterwasatme。Doyouaskmetoforgivehimthat？Itisnosmallthingtobelaughedatbysomethingatoncelowerandstrongerthanoneself。"

"Surelyyoufellowsareexaggeratingwildly，"cutintheclearvoiceofInspectorRatcliffe。"PresidentSundayisaterriblefellowforone’sintellect，butheisnotsuchaBarnum’sfreakphysicallyasyoumakeout。Hereceivedmeinanordinaryoffice，inagreycheckcoat，inbroaddaylight。Hetalkedtomeinanordinaryway。ButI’lltellyouwhatisatriflecreepyaboutSunday。Hisroomisneat，hisclothesareneat，everythingseemsinorder;buthe’sabsent—minded。Sometimeshisgreatbrighteyesgoquiteblind。Forhoursheforgetsthatyouarethere。Nowabsent—mindednessisjustabittooawfulinabadman。Wethinkofawickedmanasvigilant。Wecan’tthinkofawickedmanwhoishonestlyandsincerelydreamy，becausewedaren’tthinkofawickedmanalonewithhimself。Anabsentmindedmanmeansagood—naturedman。Itmeansamanwho，ifhehappenstoseeyou，willapologise。

Buthowwillyoubearanabsentmindedmanwho，ifhehappenstoseeyou，willkillyou？Thatiswhattriesthenerves，abstractioncombinedwithcruelty。Menhavefeltitsometimeswhentheywentthroughwildforests，andfeltthattheanimalstherewereatonceinnocentandpitiless。Theymightignoreorslay。Howwouldyouliketopasstenmortalhoursinaparlourwithanabsent—mindedtiger？"

"AndwhatdoyouthinkofSunday，Gogol？"askedSyme。