第5章

"Wasn’titarag？"hesaid。"Suchasimpleidea——notmyown。I

haven’tgotthebrains。Yousee，Iwantedtogointothedetectiveservice，especiallytheanti—dynamitebusiness。Butforthatpurposetheywantedsomeonetodressupasadynamiter;andtheyallsworebyblazesthatIcouldneverlooklikeadynamiter。Theysaidmyverywalkwasrespectable，andthatseenfrombehindI

lookedliketheBritishConstitution。TheysaidIlookedtoohealthyandtoooptimistic，andtooreliableandbenevolent;theycalledmeallsortsofnamesatScotlandYard。TheysaidthatifI

hadbeenacriminal，Imighthavemademyfortunebylookingsolikeanhonestman;butasIhadthemisfortunetobeanhonestman，therewasnoteventheremotestchanceofmyassistingthembyeverlookinglikeacriminal。ButaslastIwasbroughtbeforesomeoldjosserwhowashighupintheforce，andwhoseemedtohavenoendofaheadonhisshoulders。Andtheretheothersalltalkedhopelessly。Oneaskedwhetherabushybeardwouldhidemynicesmile;anothersaidthatiftheyblackedmyfaceImightlooklikeanegroanarchist;butthisoldchapchippedinwithamostextraordinaryremark。’Apairofsmokedspectacleswilldoit，’hesaidpositively。’Lookathimnow;helookslikeanangelicofficeboy。Puthimonapairofsmokedspectacles，andchildrenwillscreamatthesightofhim。’Andsoitwas，byGeorge！Whenoncemyeyeswerecovered，alltherest，smileandbigshouldersandshorthair，mademelookaperfectlittledevil。AsIsay，itwassimpleenoughwhenitwasdone，likemiracles;butthatwasn’tthereallymiraculouspartofit。Therewasonereallystaggeringthingaboutthebusiness，andmyheadstillturnsatit。"

"Whatwasthat？"askedSyme。

"I’lltellyou，"answeredthemaninspectacles。"Thisbigpotinthepolicewhosizedmeupsothatheknewhowthegoggleswouldgowithmyhairandsocks——byGod，heneversawmeatall！"

Syme’seyessuddenlyflashedonhim。

"Howwasthat？"heasked。"Ithoughtyoutalkedtohim。"

"SoIdid，"saidBullbrightly;"butwetalkedinapitch—darkroomlikeacoalcellar。There，youwouldneverhaveguessedthat。"

"Icouldnothaveconceivedit，"saidSymegravely。

"Itisindeedanewidea，"saidtheProfessor。

Theirnewallywasinpracticalmattersawhirlwind。AttheinquiryofficeheaskedwithbusinesslikebrevityaboutthetrainsforDover。Havinggothisinformation，hebundledthecompanyintoacab，andputthemandhimselfinsidearailwaycarriagebeforetheyhadproperlyrealisedthebreathlessprocess。TheywerealreadyontheCalaisboatbeforeconversationflowedfreely。

"Ihadalreadyarranged，"heexplained，"togotoFranceformylunch;butIamdelightedtohavesomeonetolunchwithme。Yousee，Ihadtosendthatbeast，theMarquis，overwithhisbomb，becausethePresidenthadhiseyeonme，thoughGodknowshow。

I’lltellyouthestorysomeday。Itwasperfectlychoking。

WheneverItriedtoslipoutofitIsawthePresidentsomewhere，smilingoutofthebow—windowofaclub，ortakingoffhishattomefromthetopofanomnibus。Itellyou，youcansaywhatyoulike，thatfellowsoldhimselftothedevil;hecanbeinsixplacesatonce。"

"SoyousenttheMarquisoff，Iunderstand，"askedtheProfessor。

"Wasitlongago？Shallwebeintimetocatchhim？"

"Yes，"answeredthenewguide，"I’vetimeditall。He’llstillbeatCalaiswhenwearrive。"

"ButwhenwedocatchhimatCalais，"saidtheProfessor，"whatarewegoingtodo？"

AtthisquestionthecountenanceofDr。Bullfellforthefirsttime。Hereflectedalittle，andthensaid——

"Theoretically，Isuppose，weoughttocallthepolice。"

"NotI，"saidSyme。"TheoreticallyIoughttodrownmyselffirst。I

promisedapoorfellow，whowasarealmodernpessimist，onmywordofhonournottotellthepolice。I’mnohandatcasuistry，butI

can’tbreakmywordtoamodernpessimist。It’slikebreakingone’swordtoachild。"

"I’minthesameboat，"saidtheProfessor。"ItriedtotellthepoliceandIcouldn’t，becauseofsomesillyoathItook。Yousee，whenIwasanactorIwasasortofall—roundbeast。PerjuryortreasonistheonlycrimeIhaven’tcommitted。IfIdidthatI

shouldn’tknowthedifferencebetweenrightandwrong。"

"I’vebeenthroughallthat，"saidDr。Bull，"andI’vemadeupmymind。IgavemypromisetotheSecretary——youknowhim，manwhosmilesupsidedown。Myfriends，thatmanisthemostutterlyunhappymanthatwaseverhuman。Itmaybehisdigestion，orhisconscience，orhisnerves，orhisphilosophyoftheuniverse，buthe’sdamned，he’sinhell！Well，Ican’tturnonamanlikethat，andhunthimdown。It’slikewhippingaleper。Imaybemad，butthat’showIfeel;andthere’sjollywelltheendofit。"

"Idon’tthinkyou’remad，"saidSyme。"Iknewyouwoulddecidelikethatwhenfirstyou——"

"Eh？"saidDr。Bull。

"Whenfirstyoutookoffyourspectacles。"

Dr。Bullsmiledalittle，andstrolledacrossthedecktolookatthesunlitsea。Thenhestrolledbackagain，kickinghisheelscarelessly，andacompanionablesilencefellbetweenthethreemen。

"Well，"saidSyme，"itseemsthatwehaveallthesamekindofmoralityorimmorality，sowehadbetterfacethefactthatcomesofit。"

"Yes，"assentedtheProfessor，"you’requiteright;andwemusthurryup，forIcanseetheGreyNosestandingoutfromFrance。"

"Thefactthatcomesofit，"saidSymeseriously，"isthis，thatwethreearealoneonthisplanet。Gogolhasgone，Godknowswhere;

perhapsthePresidenthassmashedhimlikeafly。OntheCouncilwearethreemenagainstthree，liketheRomanswhoheldthebridge。

Butweareworseoffthanthat，firstbecausetheycanappealtotheirorganizationandwecannotappealtoours，andsecondbecause——"

"Becauseoneofthoseotherthreemen，"saidtheProfessor，"isnotaman。"

Symenoddedandwassilentforasecondortwo，thenhesaid——

"Myideaisthis。WemustdosomethingtokeeptheMarquisinCalaistilltomorrowmidday。Ihaveturnedovertwentyschemesinmyhead。Wecannotdenouncehimasadynamiter;thatisagreed。Wecannotgethimdetainedonsometrivialcharge，forweshouldhavetoappear;heknowsus，andhewouldsmellarat。Wecannotpretendtokeephimonanarchistbusiness;hemightswallowmuchinthatway，butnotthenotionofstoppinginCalaiswhiletheCzarwentsafelythroughParis。Wemighttrytokidnaphim，andlockhimupourselves;butheisawell—knownmanhere。Hehasawholebodyguardoffriends;heisverystrongandbrave，andtheeventisdoubtful。TheonlythingIcanseetodoisactuallytotakeadvantageoftheverythingsthatareintheMarquis’sfavour。Iamgoingtoprofitbythefactthatheisahighlyrespectednobleman。

Iamgoingtoprofitbythefactthathehasmanyfriendsandmovesinthebestsociety。"

"Whatthedevilareyoutalkingabout？"askedtheProfessor。

"TheSymesarefirstmentionedinthefourteenthcentury，"saidSyme;"butthereisatraditionthatoneofthemrodebehindBruceatBannockburn。Since1350thetreeisquiteclear。"

"He’sgoneoffhishead，"saidthelittleDoctor，staring。

"Ourbearings，"continuedSymecalmly，"are’argentachevronguleschargedwiththreecrosscrossletsofthefield。’Themottovaries。"

TheProfessorseizedSymeroughlybythewaistcoat。

"Wearejustinshore，"hesaid。"Areyouseasickorjokinginthewrongplace？"

"Myremarksarealmostpainfullypractical，"answeredSyme，inanunhurriedmanner。"ThehouseofSt。Eustachealsoisveryancient。

TheMarquiscannotdenythatheisagentleman。HecannotdenythatIamagentleman。Andinordertoputthematterofmysocialpositionquitebeyondadoubt，Iproposeattheearliestopportunitytoknockhishatoff。Buthereweareintheharbour。"

Theywentonshoreunderthestrongsuninasortofdaze。Syme，whohadnowtakentheleadasBullhadtakenitinLondon，ledthemalongakindofmarineparadeuntilhecametosomecafes，emboweredinabulkofgreeneryandoverlookingthesea。Ashewentbeforethemhisstepwasslightlyswaggering，andheswunghissticklikeasword。Hewasmakingapparentlyfortheextremeendofthelineofcafes，buthestoppedabruptly。Withasharpgesturehemotionedthemtosilence，buthepointedwithoneglovedfingertoacafetableunderabankoffloweringfoliageatwhichsattheMarquisdeSt。Eustache，histeethshininginhisthick，blackbeard，andhisbold，brownfaceshadowedbyalightyellowstrawhatandoutlinedagainstthevioletsea。

CHAPTERX

THEDUEL

SYMEsatdownatacafetablewithhiscompanions，hisblueeyessparklinglikethebrightseabelow，andorderedabottleofSaumurwithapleasedimpatience。Hewasforsomereasoninaconditionofcurioushilarity。Hisspiritswerealreadyunnaturallyhigh;theyroseastheSaumursank，andinhalfanhourhistalkwasatorrentofnonsense。HeprofessedtobemakingoutaplanoftheconversationwhichwasgoingtoensuebetweenhimselfandthedeadlyMarquis。Hejotteditdownwildlywithapencil。Itwasarrangedlikeaprintedcatechism，withquestionsandanswers，andwasdeliveredwithanextraordinaryrapidityofutterance。

"Ishallapproach。Beforetakingoffhishat，Ishalltakeoffmyown。Ishallsay，’TheMarquisdeSaintEustache，Ibelieve。’Hewillsay，’ThecelebratedMr。Syme，Ipresume。’HewillsayinthemostexquisiteFrench，’Howareyou？’IshallreplyinthemostexquisiteCockney，’Oh，justtheSyme——’"

"Oh，shutit，"saidthemaninspectacles。"Pullyourselftogether，andchuckawaythatbitofpaper。Whatareyoureallygoingtodo？"

"Butitwasalovelycatechism，"saidSymepathetically。"Doletmereadityou。Ithasonlyforty—threequestionsandanswers，andsomeoftheMarquis’sanswersarewonderfullywitty。Iliketobejusttomyenemy。"

"Butwhat’sthegoodofitall？"askedDr。Bullinexasperation。

"Itleadsuptomychallenge，don’tyousee，"saidSyme，beaming。

"WhentheMarquishasgiventhethirty—ninthreply，whichruns——"

"Hasitbyanychanceoccurredtoyou，"askedtheProfessor，withaponderoussimplicity，"thattheMarquismaynotsayalltheforty—threethingsyouhaveputdownforhim？Inthatcase，I

understand，yourownepigramsmayappearsomewhatmoreforced。"

Symestruckthetablewitharadiantface。

"Why，howtruethatis，"hesaid，"andIneverthoughtofit。Sir，youhaveanintellectbeyondthecommon。Youwillmakeaname。"

"Oh，you’reasdrunkasanowl！"saidtheDoctor。

"Itonlyremains，"continuedSymequiteunperturbed，"toadoptsomeothermethodofbreakingtheice（ifImaysoexpressit）

betweenmyselfandthemanIwishtokill。Andsincethecourseofadialoguecannotbepredictedbyoneofitspartiesalone（asyouhavepointedoutwithsuchreconditeacumen），theonlythingtobedone，Isuppose，isfortheoneparty，asfaraspossible，todoallthedialoguebyhimself。AndsoIwill，byGeorge！"Andhestoodupsuddenly，hisyellowhairblowingintheslightseabreeze。

Abandwasplayinginacafechantanthiddensomewhereamongthetrees，andawomanhadjuststoppedsinging。OnSyme’sheatedheadthebrayofthebrassbandseemedlikethejarandjingleofthatbarrel—organinLeicesterSquare，tothetuneofwhichhehadoncestooduptodie。HelookedacrosstothelittletablewheretheMarquissat。Themanhadtwocompanionsnow，solemnFrenchmeninfrock—coatsandsilkhats，oneofthemwiththeredrosetteoftheLegionofHonour，evidentlypeopleofasolidsocialposition。

Besidestheseblack，cylindricalcostumes，theMarquis，inhisloosestrawhatandlightspringclothes，lookedBohemianandevenbarbaric;buthelookedtheMarquis。Indeed，onemightsaythathelookedtheking，withhisanimalelegance，hisscornfuleyes，andhisproudheadliftedagainstthepurplesea。ButhewasnoChristianking，atanyrate;hewas，rather，someswarthydespot，halfGreek，halfAsiatic，whointhedayswhenslaveryseemednaturallookeddownontheMediterranean，onhisgalleyandhisgroaningslaves。Justso，Symethought，wouldthebrown—goldfaceofsuchatyranthaveshownagainstthedarkgreenolivesandtheburningblue。

"Areyougoingtoaddressthemeeting？"askedtheProfessorpeevishly，seeingthatSymestillstoodupwithoutmoving。

Symedrainedhislastglassofsparklingwine。

"Iam，"hesaid，pointingacrosstotheMarquisandhiscompanions，"thatmeeting。Thatmeetingdispleasesme。Iamgoingtopullthatmeeting’sgreatugly，mahogany—colourednose。"

Hesteppedacrossswiftly，ifnotquitesteadily。TheMarquis，seeinghim，archedhisblackAssyrianeyebrowsinsurprise，butsmiledpolitely。

"YouareMr。Syme，Ithink，"hesaid。

Symebowed。

"AndyouaretheMarquisdeSaintEustache，"hesaidgracefully。

"Permitmetopullyournose。"

Heleantovertodoso，buttheMarquisstartedbackwards，upsettinghischair，andthetwomenintophatsheldSymebackbytheshoulders。

"Thismanhasinsultedme！"saidSyme，withgesturesofexplanation。

"Insultedyou？"criedthegentlemanwiththeredrosette，"when？"

"Oh，justnow，"saidSymerecklessly。"Heinsultedmymother。"

"Insultedyourmother！"exclaimedthegentlemanincredulously。

"Well，anyhow，"saidSyme，concedingapoint，"myaunt。"

"ButhowcantheMarquishaveinsultedyourauntjustnow？"saidthesecondgentlemanwithsomelegitimatewonder。"Hehasbeensittinghereallthetime。"

"Ah，itwaswhathesaid！"saidSymedarkly。

"Isaidnothingatall，"saidtheMarquis，"exceptsomethingabouttheband。IonlysaidthatIlikedWagnerplayedwell。"

"Itwasanallusiontomyfamily，"saidSymefirmly。"MyauntplayedWagnerbadly。Itwasapainfulsubject。Wearealwaysbeinginsultedaboutit。"

"Thisseemsmostextraordinary，"saidthegentlemanwhowasdecore，lookingdoubtfullyattheMarquis。

"Oh，Iassureyou，"saidSymeearnestly，"thewholeofyourconversationwassimplypackedwithsinisterallusionstomyaunt’sweaknesses。"

"Thisisnonsense！"saidthesecondgentleman。"IforonehavesaidnothingforhalfanhourexceptthatIlikedthesingingofthatgirlwithblackhair。"

"Well，thereyouareagain！"saidSymeindignantly。"Myaunt’swasred。"

"Itseemstome，"saidtheother，"thatyouaresimplyseekingapretexttoinsulttheMarquis。"

"ByGeorge！"saidSyme，facingroundandlookingathim，"whatacleverchapyouare！"

TheMarquisstartedupwitheyesflaminglikeatiger’s。

"Seekingaquarrelwithme！"hecried。"Seekingafightwithme！ByGod！therewasneveramanwhohadtoseeklong。Thesegentlemenwillperhapsactforme。Therearestillfourhoursofdaylight。

Letusfightthisevening。"

Symebowedwithaquitebeautifulgraciousness。

"Marquis，"hesaid，"youractionisworthyofyourfameandblood。

PermitmetoconsultforamomentwiththegentlemeninwhosehandsIshallplacemyself。"

Inthreelongstridesherejoinedhiscompanions，andthey，whohadseenhischampagne—inspiredattackandlistenedtohisidioticexplanations，werequitestartledatthelookofhim。Fornowthathecamebacktothemhewasquitesober，alittlepale，andhespokeinalowvoiceofpassionatepracticality。

"Ihavedoneit，"hesaidhoarsely。"Ihavefixedafightonthebeast。Butlookhere，andlistencarefully。Thereisnotimefortalk。Youaremyseconds，andeverythingmustcomefromyou。Nowyoumustinsist，andinsistabsolutely，ontheduelcomingoffafterseventomorrow，soastogivemethechanceofpreventinghimfromcatchingthe7。45forParis。Ifhemissesthathemisseshiscrime。Hecan’trefusetomeetyouonsuchasmallpointoftimeandplace。Butthisiswhathewilldo。Hewillchooseafieldsomewherenearawaysidestation，wherehecanpickupthetrain。

Heisaverygoodswordsman，andhewilltrusttokillingmeintimetocatchit。ButIcanfencewelltoo，andIthinkIcankeephiminplay，atanyrate，untilthetrainislost。Thenperhapshemaykillmetoconsolehisfeelings。Youunderstand？Verywellthen，letmeintroduceyoutosomecharmingfriendsofmine，"andleadingthemquicklyacrosstheparade，hepresentedthemtotheMarquis’ssecondsbytwoveryaristocraticnamesofwhichtheyhadnotpreviouslyheard。

Symewassubjecttospasmsofsingularcommonsense，nototherwiseapartofhischaracter。Theywere（ashesaidofhisimpulseaboutthespectacles）poeticintuitions，andtheysometimesrosetotheexaltationofprophecy。

Hehadcorrectlycalculatedinthiscasethepolicyofhisopponent。WhentheMarquiswasinformedbyhissecondsthatSymecouldonlyfightinthemorning，hemustfullyhaverealisedthatanobstaclehadsuddenlyarisenbetweenhimandhisbomb—throwingbusinessinthecapital。Naturallyhecouldnotexplainthisobjectiontohisfriends，sohechosethecoursewhichSymehadpredicted。Heinducedhissecondstosettleonasmallmeadownotfarfromtherailway，andhetrustedtothefatalityofthefirstengagement。

Whenhecamedownverycoollytothefieldofhonour，noonecouldhaveguessedthathehadanyanxietyaboutajourney;hishandswereinhispockets，hisstrawhatonthebackofhishead，hishandsomefacebrazeninthesun。Butitmighthavestruckastrangerasoddthatthereappearedinhistrain，notonlyhissecondscarryingthesword—case，buttwoofhisservantscarryingaportmanteauandaluncheonbasket。

Earlyaswasthehour，thesunsoakedeverythinginwarmth，andSymewasvaguelysurprisedtoseesomanyspringflowersburninggoldandsilverinthetallgrassinwhichthewholecompanystoodalmostknee—deep。

WiththeexceptionoftheMarquis，allthemenwereinsombreandsolemnmorning—dress，withhatslikeblackchimney—pots;thelittleDoctorespecially，withtheadditionofhisblackspectacles，lookedlikeanundertakerinafarce。Symecouldnothelpfeelingacomiccontrastbetweenthisfunerealchurchparadeofapparelandtherichandglisteningmeadow，growingwildflowerseverywhere。

But，indeed，thiscomiccontrastbetweentheyellowblossomsandtheblackhatswasbutasymbolofthetragiccontrastbetweentheyellowblossomsandtheblackbusiness。Onhisrightwasalittlewood;farawaytohisleftlaythelongcurveoftherailwayline，whichhewas，sotospeak，guardingfromtheMarquis，whosegoalandescapeitwas。Infrontofhim，behindtheblackgroupofhisopponents，hecouldsee，likeatintedcloud，asmallalmondbushinfloweragainstthefaintlineofthesea。

ThememberoftheLegionofHonour，whosenameitseemedwasColonelDucroix，approachedtheProfessorandDr。Bullwithgreatpoliteness，andsuggestedthattheplayshouldterminatewiththefirstconsiderablehurt。

Dr。Bull，however，havingbeencarefullycoachedbySymeuponthispointofpolicy，insisted，withgreatdignityandinverybadFrench，thatitshouldcontinueuntiloneofthecombatantswasdisabled。SymehadmadeuphismindthathecouldavoiddisablingtheMarquisandpreventtheMarquisfromdisablinghimforatleasttwentyminutes。IntwentyminutestheParistrainwouldhavegoneby。

"Toamanofthewell—knownskillandvalourofMonsieurdeSt。

Eustache，"saidtheProfessorsolemnly，"itmustbeamatterofindifferencewhichmethodisadopted，andourprincipalhasstrongreasonsfordemandingthelongerencounter，reasonsthedelicacyofwhichpreventmefrombeingexplicit，butforthejustandhonourablenatureofwhichIcan——"

"Peste！"brokefromtheMarquisbehind，whosefacehadsuddenlydarkened，"letusstoptalkingandbegin，"andheslashedofftheheadofatallflowerwithhisstick。

Symeunderstoodhisrudeimpatienceandinstinctivelylookedoverhisshouldertoseewhetherthetrainwascominginsight。Buttherewasnosmokeonthehorizon。

ColonelDucroixkneltdownandunlockedthecase，takingoutapairoftwinswords，whichtookthesunlightandturnedtotwostreaksofwhitefire。HeofferedonetotheMarquis，whosnatcheditwithoutceremony，andanothertoSyme，whotookit，bentit，andpoiseditwithasmuchdelayaswasconsistentwithdignity。

ThentheColoneltookoutanotherpairofblades，andtakingonehimselfandgivinganothertoDr。Bull，proceededtoplacethemen。

Bothcombatantshadthrownofftheircoatsandwaistcoats，andstoodswordinhand。Thesecondsstoodoneachsideofthelineoffightwithdrawnswordsalso，butstillsombreintheirdarkfrock—coatsandhats。Theprincipalssaluted。TheColonelsaidquietly，"Engage！"andthetwobladestouchedandtingled。

WhenthejarofthejoinedironranupSyme’sarm，allthefantasticfearsthathavebeenthesubjectofthisstoryfellfromhimlikedreamsfromamanwakingupinbed。Herememberedthemclearlyandinorderasmeredelusionsofthenerves——howthefearoftheProfessorhadbeenthefearofthetyrannicaccidentsofnightmare，andhowthefearoftheDoctorhadbeenthefearoftheairlessvacuumofscience。Thefirstwastheoldfearthatanymiraclemighthappen，thesecondthemorehopelessmodernfearthatnomiraclecaneverhappen。Buthesawthatthesefearswerefancies，forhefoundhimselfinthepresenceofthegreatfactofthefearofdeath，withitscoarseandpitilesscommonsense。Hefeltlikeamanwhohaddreamedallnightoffallingoverprecipices，andhadwokeuponthemorningwhenhewastobehanged。Forassoonashehadseenthesunlightrundownthechannelofhisfoe’sforeshortenedblade，andassoonashehadfeltthetwotonguesofsteeltouch，vibratingliketwolivingthings，heknewthathisenemywasaterriblefighter，andthatprobablyhislasthourhadcome。

Hefeltastrangeandvividvalueinalltheeartharoundhim，inthegrassunderhisfeet;hefelttheloveoflifeinalllivingthings。Hecouldalmostfancythatheheardthegrassgrowing;hecouldalmostfancythatevenashestoodfreshflowerswerespringingupandbreakingintoblossominthemeadow——flowersbloodredandburninggoldandblue，fulfillingthewholepageantofthespring。Andwheneverhiseyesstrayedforaflashfromthecalm，staring，hypnoticeyesoftheMarquis，theysawthelittletuftofalmondtreeagainstthesky—line。Hehadthefeelingthatifbysomemiracleheescapedhewouldbereadytositforeverbeforethatalmondtree，desiringnothingelseintheworld。

Butwhileearthandskyandeverythinghadthelivingbeautyofathinglost，theotherhalfofhisheadwasasclearasglass，andhewasparryinghisenemy’spointwithakindofclockworkskillofwhichhehadhardlysupposedhimselfcapable。Oncehisenemy’spointranalonghiswrist，leavingaslightstreakofblood，butiteitherwasnotnoticedorwastacitlyignored。Everynowandthenheriposted，andonceortwicehecouldalmostfancythathefelthispointgohome，butastherewasnobloodonbladeorshirthesupposedhewasmistaken。Thencameaninterruptionandachange。

Attheriskoflosingall，theMarquis，interruptinghisquietstare，flashedoneglanceoverhisshoulderatthelineofrailwayonhisright。ThenheturnedonSymeafacetransfiguredtothatofafiend，andbegantofightasifwithtwentyweapons。Theattackcamesofastandfurious，thattheoneshiningswordseemedashowerofshiningarrows。Symehadnochancetolookattherailway;butalsohehadnoneed。HecouldguessthereasonoftheMarquis’ssuddenmadnessofbattle——theParistrainwasinsight。

ButtheMarquis’smorbidenergyover—reacheditself。TwiceSyme，parrying，knockedhisopponent’spointfaroutofthefightingcircle;andthethirdtimehisripostewassorapid，thattherewasnodoubtaboutthehitthistime。Syme’sswordactuallybentundertheweightoftheMarquis’sbody，whichithadpierced。

Symewasascertainthathehadstuckhisbladeintohisenemyasagardenerthathehasstuckhisspadeintotheground。YettheMarquissprangbackfromthestrokewithoutastagger，andSymestoodstaringathisownsword—pointlikeanidiot。Therewasnobloodonitatall。

Therewasaninstantofrigidsilence，andthenSymeinhisturnfellfuriouslyontheother，filledwithaflamingcuriosity。TheMarquiswasprobably，inageneralsense，abetterfencerthanhe，ashehadsurmisedatthebeginning，butatthemomenttheMarquisseemeddistraughtandatadisadvantage。Hefoughtwildlyandevenweakly，andheconstantlylookedawayattherailwayline，almostasifhefearedthetrainmorethanthepointedsteel。Syme，ontheotherhand，foughtfiercelybutstillcarefully，inanintellectualfury，eagertosolvetheriddleofhisownbloodlesssword。Forthispurpose，heaimedlessattheMarquis’sbody，andmoreathisthroatandhead。Aminuteandahalfafterwardshefelthispointentertheman’sneckbelowthejaw。Itcameoutclean。Halfmad，hethrustagain，andmadewhatshouldhavebeenabloodyscarontheMarquis’scheek。Buttherewasnoscar。

ForonemomenttheheavenofSymeagaingrewblackwithsupernaturalterrors。Surelythemanhadacharmedlife。Butthisnewspiritualdreadwasamoreawfulthingthanhadbeenthemerespiritualtopsy—turvydomsymbolisedbytheparalyticwhopursuedhim。TheProfessorwasonlyagoblin;thismanwasadevil——perhapshewastheDevil！Anyhow，thiswascertain，thatthreetimeshadahumanswordbeendrivenintohimandmadenomark。WhenSymehadthatthoughthedrewhimselfup，andallthatwasgoodinhimsanghighupintheairasahighwindsingsinthetrees。Hethoughtofallthehumanthingsinhisstory——oftheChineselanternsinSaffronPark，ofthegirl’sredhairinthegarden，ofthehonest，beer—swillingsailorsdownbythedock，ofhisloyalcompanionsstandingby。Perhapshehadbeenchosenasachampionofallthesefreshandkindlythingstocrossswordswiththeenemyofallcreation。"Afterall，"hesaidtohimself，"Iammorethanadevil;

Iamaman。IcandotheonethingwhichSatanhimselfcannotdo——I

candie，"andasthewordwentthroughhishead，heheardafaintandfar—offhoot，whichwouldsoonbetheroaroftheParistrain。

Hefelltofightingagainwithasupernaturallevity，likeaMohammedanpantingforParadise。AsthetraincamenearerandnearerhefanciedhecouldseepeopleputtingupthefloralarchesinParis;hejoinedinthegrowingnoiseandthegloryofthegreatRepublicwhosegatehewasguardingagainstHell。Histhoughtsrosehigherandhigherwiththerisingroarofthetrain，whichended，asifproudly，inalongandpiercingwhistle。Thetrainstopped。

Suddenly，totheastonishmentofeveryonetheMarquissprangbackquiteoutofswordreachandthrewdownhissword。Theleapwaswonderful，andnotthelesswonderfulbecauseSymehadplungedhisswordamomentbeforeintotheman’sthigh。

"Stop！"saidtheMarquisinavoicethatcompelledamomentaryobedience。"Iwanttosaysomething。"

"Whatisthematter？"askedColonelDucroix，staring。"Hastherebeenfoulplay？"

"Therehasbeenfoulplaysomewhere，"saidDr。Bull，whowasalittlepale。"OurprincipalhaswoundedtheMarquisfourtimesatleast，andheisnonetheworse。"

TheMarquisputuphishandwithacuriousairofghastlypatience。

"Pleaseletmespeak，"hesaid。"Itisratherimportant。Mr。

Syme，"hecontinued，turningtohisopponent，"wearefightingtoday，ifIrememberright，becauseyouexpressedawish（whichIthoughtirrational）topullmynose。Wouldyouobligemebypullingmynosenowasquicklyaspossible？Ihavetocatchatrain。"

"Iprotestthatthisismostirregular，"saidDr。Bullindignantly。

"Itiscertainlysomewhatopposedtoprecedent，"saidColonelDucroix，lookingwistfullyathisprincipal。"Thereis，Ithink，onecaseonrecord（CaptainBellegardeandtheBaronZumpt）inwhichtheweaponswerechangedinthemiddleoftheencounterattherequestofoneofthecombatants。Butonecanhardlycallone’snoseaweapon。"

"Willyouorwillyounotpullmynose？"saidtheMarquisinexasperation。"Come，come，Mr。Syme！Youwantedtodoit，doit！

Youcanhavenoconceptionofhowimportantitistome。Don’tbesoselfish！Pullmynoseatonce，whenIaskyou！"andhebentslightlyforwardwithafascinatingsmile。TheParistrain，pantingandgroaning，hadgratedintoalittlestationbehindtheneighbouringhill。

Symehadthefeelinghehadmorethanoncehadintheseadventures——thesensethatahorribleandsublimewaveliftedtoheavenwasjusttopplingover。Walkinginaworldhehalfunderstood，hetooktwopacesforwardandseizedtheRomannoseofthisremarkablenobleman。Hepulledithard，anditcameoffinhishand。

Hestoodforsomesecondswithafoolishsolemnity，withthepasteboardproboscisstillbetweenhisfingers，lookingatit，whilethesunandthecloudsandthewoodedhillslookeddownuponthisimbecilescene。

TheMarquisbrokethesilenceinaloudandcheerfulvoice。

"Ifanyonehasanyuseformylefteyebrow，"hesaid，"hecanhaveit。ColonelDucroix，doacceptmylefteyebrow！It’sthekindofthingthatmightcomeinusefulanyday，"andhegravelytoreoffoneofhisswarthyAssyrianbrows，bringingabouthalfhisbrownforeheadwithit，andpolitelyofferedittotheColonel，whostoodcrimsonandspeechlesswithrage。

"IfIhadknown，"hespluttered，"thatIwasactingforapoltroonwhopadshimselftofight——"

"Oh，Iknow，Iknow！"saidtheMarquis，recklesslythrowingvariouspartsofhimselfrightandleftaboutthefield。"Youaremakingamistake;butitcan’tbeexplainedjustnow。Itellyouthetrainhascomeintothestation！"

"Yes，"saidDr。Bullfiercely，"andthetrainshallgooutofthestation。Itshallgooutwithoutyou。Weknowwellenoughforwhatdevil’swork——"

ThemysteriousMarquisliftedhishandswithadesperategesture。

Hewasastrangescarecrowstandingthereinthesunwithhalfhisoldfacepeeledoff，andhalfanotherfaceglaringandgrinningfromunderneath。

"Willyoudrivememad？"hecried。"Thetrain——"

"Youshallnotgobythetrain，"saidSymefirmly，andgraspedhissword。

ThewildfigureturnedtowardsSyme，andseemedtobegatheringitselfforasublimeeffortbeforespeaking。

"Yougreatfat，blasted，blear—eyed，blundering，thundering，brainless，Godforsaken，doddering，damnedfool！"hesaidwithouttakingbreath。"Yougreatsilly，pink—faced，towheadedturnip！

You——"

"Youshallnotgobythistrain，"repeatedSyme。

"Andwhytheinfernalblazes，"roaredtheother，"shouldIwanttogobythetrain？"

"Weknowall，"saidtheProfessorsternly。"YouaregoingtoParistothrowabomb！"

"GoingtoJerichotothrowaJabberwock！"criedtheother，tearinghishair，whichcameoffeasily。

"Haveyouallgotsofteningofthebrain，thatyoudon’trealisewhatIam？DidyoureallythinkIwantedtocatchthattrain？

TwentyParistrainsmightgobyforme。DamnParistrains！"

"Thenwhatdidyoucareabout？"begantheProfessor。

"WhatdidIcareabout？Ididn’tcareaboutcatchingthetrain;I

caredaboutwhetherthetraincaughtme，andnow，byGod！ithascaughtme。"

"Iregrettoinformyou，"saidSymewithrestraint，"thatyourremarksconveynoimpressiontomymind。Perhapsifyouweretoremovetheremainsofyouroriginalforeheadandsomeportionofwhatwasonceyourchin，yourmeaningwouldbecomeclearer。Mentallucidityfulfilsitselfinmanyways。Whatdoyoumeanbysayingthatthetrainhascaughtyou？Itmaybemyliteraryfancy，butsomehowIfeelthatitoughttomeansomething。"

"Itmeanseverything，"saidtheother，"andtheendofeverything。

Sundayhasusnowinthehollowofhishand。"

"Us！"repeatedtheProfessor，asifstupefied。"Whatdoyoumeanby’us’？"

"Thepolice，ofcourse！"saidtheMarquis，andtoreoffhisscalpandhalfhisface。

Theheadwhichemergedwastheblonde，wellbrushed，smooth—hairedheadwhichiscommonintheEnglishconstabulary，butthefacewasterriblypale。

"IamInspectorRatcliffe，"hesaid，withasortofhastethatvergedonharshness。"Mynameisprettywellknowntothepolice，andIcanseewellenoughthatyoubelongtothem。Butifthereisanydoubtaboutmyposition，Ihaveacard"andhebegantopullabluecardfromhispocket。

TheProfessorgaveatiredgesture。

"Oh，don’tshowitus，"hesaidwearily;"we’vegotenoughofthemtoequipapaper—chase。"

ThelittlemannamedBull，had，likemanymenwhoseemtobeofamerevivaciousvulgarity，suddenmovementsofgoodtaste。Herehecertainlysavedthesituation。Inthemidstofthisstaggeringtransformationscenehesteppedforwardwithallthegravityandresponsibilityofasecond，andaddressedthetwosecondsoftheMarquis。

"Gentlemen，"hesaid，"wealloweyouaseriousapology;butI

assureyouthatyouhavenotbeenmadethevictimsofsuchalowjokeasyouimagine，orindeedofanythingundignifiedinamanofhonour。Youhavenotwastedyourtime;youhavehelpedtosavetheworld。Wearenotbuffoons，butverydesperatemenatwarwithavastconspiracy。Asecretsocietyofanarchistsishuntinguslikehares;notsuchunfortunatemadmenasmayhereortherethrowabombthroughstarvationorGermanphilosophy，butarichandpowerfulandfanaticalchurch，achurchofeasternpessimism，whichholdsitholytodestroymankindlikevermin。HowhardtheyhuntusyoucangatherfromthefactthatwearedriventosuchdisguisesasthoseforwhichIapologise，andtosuchpranksasthisonebywhichyousuffer。"

TheyoungersecondoftheMarquis，ashortmanwithablackmoustache，bowedpolitely，andsaid——

"Ofcourse，Iaccepttheapology;butyouwillinyourturnforgivemeifIdeclinetofollowyoufurtherintoyourdifficulties，andpermitmyselftosaygoodmorning！Thesightofanacquaintanceanddistinguishedfellow—townsmancomingtopiecesintheopenairisunusual，and，uponthewhole，sufficientforoneday。ColonelDucroix，Iwouldinnowayinfluenceyouractions，butifyoufeelwithmethatourpresentsocietyisalittleabnormal，Iamnowgoingtowalkbacktothetown。"

ColonelDucroixmovedmechanically，butthentuggedabruptlyathiswhitemoustacheandbrokeout——

"No，byGeorge！Iwon’t。Ifthesegentlemenarereallyinamesswithalotoflowwreckerslikethat，I’llseethemthroughit。I

havefoughtforFrance，anditishardifIcan’tfightforcivilization。"

Dr。Bulltookoffhishatandwavedit，cheeringasatapublicmeeting。

"Don’tmaketoomuchnoise，"saidInspectorRatcliffe，"Sundaymayhearyou。"

"Sunday！"criedBull，anddroppedhishat。

"Yes，"retortedRatcliffe，"hemaybewiththem。"

"Withwhom？"askedSyme。

"Withthepeopleoutofthattrain，"saidtheother。

"Whatyousayseemsutterlywild，"beganSyme。"Why，asamatteroffact——But，myGod，"hecriedoutsuddenly，likeamanwhoseesanexplosionalongwayoff，"byGod！ifthisistruethewholeballylotofusontheAnarchistCouncilwereagainstanarchy！EverybornmanwasadetectiveexceptthePresidentandhispersonalsecretary。Whatcanitmean？"

"Mean！"saidthenewpolicemanwithincredibleviolence。"Itmeansthatwearestruckdead！Don’tyouknowSunday？Don’tyouknowthathisjokesarealwayssobigandsimplethatonehasneverthoughtofthem？CanyouthinkofanythingmorelikeSundaythanthis，thatheshouldputallhispowerfulenemiesontheSupremeCouncil，andthentakecarethatitwasnotsupreme？Itellyouhehasboughteverytrust，hehascapturedeverycable，hehascontrolofeveryrailwayline——especiallyofthatrailwayline！"andhepointedashakingfingertowardsthesmallwaysidestation。"Thewholemovementwascontrolledbyhim;halftheworldwasreadytoriseforhim。Buttherewerejustfivepeople，perhaps，whowouldhaveresistedhim……andtheolddevilputthemontheSupremeCouncil，towastetheirtimeinwatchingeachother。Idiotsthatweare，heplannedthewholeofouridiocies！SundayknewthattheProfessorwouldchaseSymethroughLondon，andthatSymewouldfightmeinFrance。Andhewascombininggreatmassesofcapital，andseizinggreatlinesoftelegraphy，whilewefiveidiotswererunningaftereachotherlikealotofconfoundedbabiesplayingblindman’sbuff。"

"Well？"askedSymewithasortofsteadiness。

"Well，"repliedtheotherwithsuddenserenity，"hehasfoundusplayingblindman’sbufftodayinafieldofgreatrusticbeautyandextremesolitude。Hehasprobablycapturedtheworld;itonlyremainstohimtocapturethisfieldandallthefoolsinit。Andsinceyoureallywanttoknowwhatwasmyobjectiontothearrivalofthattrain，Iwilltellyou。MyobjectionwasthatSundayorhisSecretaryhasjustthismomentgotoutofit。"

Symeutteredaninvoluntarycry，andtheyallturnedtheireyestowardsthefar—offstation。Itwasquitetruethataconsiderablebulkofpeopleseemedtobemovingintheirdirection。Buttheyweretoodistanttobedistinguishedinanyway。

"ItwasahabitofthelateMarquisdeSt。Eustache，"saidthenewpoliceman，producingaleathercase，"alwaystocarryapairofoperaglasses。EitherthePresidentortheSecretaryiscomingafteruswiththatmob。Theyhavecaughtusinanicequietplacewhereweareundernotemptationstobreakouroathsbycallingthepolice。Dr。Bull，Ihaveasuspicionthatyouwillseebetterthroughthesethanthroughyourownhighlydecorativespectacles。"

Hehandedthefield—glassestotheDoctor，whoimmediatelytookoffhisspectaclesandputtheapparatustohiseyes。

"Itcannotbeasbadasyousay，"saidtheProfessor，somewhatshaken。"Thereareagoodnumberofthemcertainly，buttheymayeasilybeordinarytourists。"

"Doordinarytourists，"askedBull，withthefieldglassestohiseyes，"wearblackmaskshalf—waydowntheface？"

Symealmosttoretheglassesoutofhishand，andlookedthroughthem。Mostmenintheadvancingmobreallylookedordinaryenough;

butitwasquitetruethattwoorthreeoftheleadersinfrontworeblackhalf—masksalmostdowntotheirmouths。Thisdisguiseisverycomplete，especiallyatsuchadistance，andSymefounditimpossibletoconcludeanythingfromtheclean—shavenjawsandchinsofthementalkinginthefront。Butpresentlyastheytalkedtheyallsmiledandoneofthemsmiledononeside。

CHAPTERXI

THECRIMINALSCHASETHEPOLICE

SYMEputthefield—glassesfromhiseyeswithanalmostghastlyrelief。

"ThePresidentisnotwiththem，anyhow，"hesaid，andwipedhisforehead。

"Butsurelytheyarerightawayonthehorizon，"saidthebewilderedColonel，blinkingandbuthalfrecoveredfromBull’shastythoughpoliteexplanation。"CouldyoupossiblyknowyourPresidentamongallthosepeople？"

"CouldIknowawhiteelephantamongallthosepeople！"answeredSymesomewhatirritably。"Asyouverytrulysay，theyareonthehorizon;butifhewerewalkingwiththem……byGod！Ibelievethisgroundwouldshake。"

Afteraninstant’spausethenewmancalledRatcliffesaidwithgloomydecision——

"OfcoursethePresidentisn’twiththem。IwishtoGeminihewere。