第3章

CHAPTERX。

ITISTHEPRICEOFBLOOD。

Phyllishadagooddealtothinkofaftershehadsatforhalfanhourwithherfatherintheroomwheretheyworkedtogetherforthediscomfitureoftheoppositeparty，andhadgivenhimsomeaccountoftherepresentationoftheplayattheParthenon。Herfatherwasdelightedtofindherinhighspirits。Somanypeoplecomebackfromthetheaterlookingglumandwornout，yawningandmumblingwhenaskedwhattheyhaveseenandwhatithadallbeenabout。Phylliswasnotglum，nordidshemumble。Shewasabletodescribesceneafterscene，andmorethanonceshesprangfromherseat，carriedawaybyherownpowersofdescription，andbegantoactthebitsthathadimpressedher——bitstheforceofwhichcouldonlybeunderstoodwhendescribedwithgesturesandprettyposturing。

Herfatherthoughthehadneverseenanythingsoprettyinhislife。

(Whatagirlshewas，tobesure，tohavesoeasilyrecoveredfromtheeffectsofthatterribleordealthroughwhichshehadpassed——havingtodismissatamoment\'snoticethemanwhomshehadpromisedtomarry！)Hehadcertainlyneverseenanythingsofascinatingasherprettyposturing，withtheelectriclightsgleamingoverherwhiteneckwithitsgraciouscurves，andherfirmwhitearmsfromwhichhergloveshadbeenstripped。

IthadbeenhisintentiontodescribetoherascenewhichhadtakenplaceintheHouseofCommonsthatnight——asceneofCeltandSaxonminglinginwildturmoiloveraquestionofneglecteddutyonthepartofaGovernmentofficial:nottheonewhowassubsequentlydecoratedbythesovereignafewdaysafterhisneglectofdutyhadplacedthecountryinjeopardy，andhadprecipitatedthedownfalloftheministryandtheannihilationofhispartyasapoliticalfactor；notthisman，butanother，whohadreferredtoTrafalgarSquareastheprivatethoroughfareofthecrown。Thescenehadbeenananimatedone，andMr。

Ayrtonhadhopedtoderiveagooddealofpleasurefromdescribingittohisdaughter；butwhenhehadlistenedtoher，andwatchedherforafewminutes，hecametotheconclusionthatitwouldbeabsurdforhimtomakeanefforttocompetewithher。WhatwashiswretchedlittlestoryofParliamentarysqualorcomparedwiththesepsychologicalsubtletieswhichhadinterestedhisdaughteralltheevening?

Helistenedtoandwatchedthatlovelything，overflowingwiththeanimationthatcomesfromaquickintelligence——akeenappreciationoftheintelligenceofthegreatartistswhohadinterpretedastorywhichthrilledtheimaginationofgenerationaftergeneration，andhefeltthatParliamentwasapaltrything。Parliament——whatwasParliament?Thewrangleofpoliticalpartiesoverapaltryissue。Ithadnoreallifeinit；ithadnothingofthefullnessandbreadthofthemattersthatinterestedsuchpeopleashadminds——imagination。

“Youaretired，“shecriedatlast。“Itisthoughtlessofmetokeepyououtofyourbed。Youhavehadawearynight，Iamsure。WasittheIrishagain，orthehorridteetotalers?“

“Itwasboth，mydear，“saidhe。“Phyllis，“headdedsolemnly，“anIrishteetotalerisafearfulthing。”

“Youshallforgetalltheintemperateteetotalersinabeautifulsleep，“saidshe，puttingherarmsaroundhisneck。“Good-night，papa！

Itwassothoughtlessofmetokeepyouup。Itisoneo\'clock。”

“Itappearstomethatyouaretheonewhoshouldbereadytosuccumb，“saidherfather。“Ihadnothingtostimulatemyimagination。

Practicalpoliticshasnotyetdiscoveredagoodworkingreplytothemanwhocallshisfellow-manaliar，sothepoliticaloutlookisnotverycheering。”

“Thatiswhatisgreatlyneeded:asatisfactoryretort——verbal，ofcourse——tothatevery-dayassertion。”

“IthasbecomethemostpotentinfluenceintheHouseofCommons，duringthepastyearortwo；andtheworstofthematteristhatthestatementisnearlyalwayscorrect。”

“Thenthereisallthegreaterneedfora/modusvivendi/“——shehadanampleacquaintancewiththejargonofdiplomacy。“Idon\'tdespairofParliamentbeingabletosuggestanefficientretort。”

“Parliament:tworagamuffinsquarrelingupanentryoverarottenorange。Good-night，mychild！“

Shewasatlastinherownroom:anapartmentofgracious-tintedfabricsandpinksatinpanels；oftapestriedsofasmadebyFrenchartistsbeforethelovelydaughterofMariaTeresawenttoherdeath。

Sheswitchedonthelightsinthecandlesconces，andthrewherselfdownupononeofthesofas。Hertheaterwrapandfanshehadlaidoverachair。

ItwasnottothedramawhichshehadseensuperblyactedattheParthenonthatherthoughtswentout；buttothewordswhichherdearestfriendhadspokenwhendrivingbackfromthetheater。

Whatwordswerethey?

Shecouldnotrecollectthemnow；butshewasstillconsciousoftheimpressionwhichtheyhadproduceduponherwhiletheywerebeingspoken。Thatimpressionwasthatuptothatinstantalltheissuesofherlifehadbeenunworthyofamoment\'sconsideration。Shehadtakenwhatshebelievedtobeadeepinterestinmanymattersduringthefiveyearsthatshehadbeentheheadofherfather\'shouse。Shehad，sheknew，beenofthegreatesthelptoherfatherinhispoliticallife，notmerelyturninghermemorytogoodaccountindiscoveringtheincautiousphrasesinthespeechesofthemenwhowerefoolishenoughtobehisopponents，butactuallyadvisinghim，whenheaskedher，onmanymattersaboutwhichthenewspapershadbeenfull。Thenshehadtakenanactivepartinmorethanoneofthose“movements“whichbecamethetopicofaLondonseasonuntilcompelledbyaninvisiblebutall-powerfulauthoritytomoveonandmakewayforthenextnewthing。Shehadmovedwitheverymovement，andhadprovedhercapacitytocontrolherselfwhenthemovementbecameuncontrollable。AndthenshehadthoughthowworthyapositioninlifewouldbethatofthewifeoftherectorofachurchlikeSt。Chad\'s。

Thatideahadremainedwithher，ashadalreadybeensaid，forsomemonths，until，tobeexactinregardtothedate，theotheryoungwomen，whomshehadbeenwatchingwithinterest，hadboughttheirbrilliantblouseswiththenewestand，consequently，mostabnormalsleeves，castingasidethesober-huedbodiceswhichtheyhadworninhope。

Howpaltrywerealltheseaspirations，theseundertakings！

ThatwaswhatwasdinninginherearsallthetimeEllahadbeentalkinginthecarriage。

Butwhy，why，whyshouldallherpreviousinterests，includingtheconsiderationofthequestionsoforthodoxyandtheotherthing，seemsoridiculouslysmallwhileEllawasspeaking?

Thatwasthequestionwhichpuzzledher。HadEllashownherawaytosomethingbetter，somethinghigher，somethingbetterworthyoftheaspirationofawoman?Shecouldnotsaythatthathadbeenthedriftofherlargediscourse。Whatshehadsaidhadactuallybeenpuzzlinginitsvagueness，itsdaringimages——allimagesarevague；itsallegories——allallegoriesareindefinite。

Andyet——andyet——andyet——

WithamotionofimpatiencePhyllissprangtoherfeet。Afterapauseshewenttoalittlesatin-woodcabinetwhichshehadturnedintoabookshelf，andtookoutherBible。Shehadneversleptanightforyearswithoutreadingachapter；andinordertoavertthepossibilityofherownfeelingsorfanciesofthemomentmakinganyinvidiousdistinctionbetweenthevariouscomponentpartsofabookwhichisprofitableineveryline，shehadaccustomedherselftoreadthechaptersinconsecutiveorderfromTheGenesistoTheRevelation。

Sometimes，whenshefoundherselffacetofaceofanightwithapurelygenealogicalchapter，PhyllisofPhilistiahaddifficultyincrushingdownherunworthydesiretoturntosomechapterthatseemedtoherfrailjudgmenttocontainwordsofwidercomforttothechildrenofmenthanagenealogicaltreeoftheChildrenofIsrael；

butshehadneveryieldedtosounworthyanimpulse。WhowasshethatsheshouldsuggestthatonepartoftheSacredBookwascalculatedtobemoreprofitablethananother?WasitnotalltheBible?

ShehadplowedherwaythroughthesloughofHebrewnamesupontheseoccasions，andtheblessingofthewordshadbeenbornetoherintheformofasweetsleep。

HerchapterforthisnightwasthatwhichdescribesthecampaignofDavid，duringwhichheandhishostswerebesiegedintheirearthworks，andhowthethreemightymenhadmadeasortiethroughthecampoftheenemyinordertoobtainfortheirleaderacupofwater。

Shecontinuedthechaptertotheend，butallthroughitthosewordswereringinginherears:

“Itisthepriceofblood；itisthepriceofblood。”

Andasshekneltdownbesideherbed，herbarewhitefeetpeepingoutfrombeneaththedraperyofherwhitenight-dress，inaposturethatwouldhavemadethemosthumanatheistbelieveinthebeautyofdevotion，thosewordswerestillinherears:“Thepriceofblood；thepriceofblood。”

GoodHeavens！Howcouldshecarrythatfeatherfan?HowcouldEllaLintonholdituptoherface——holdherfacedowntoit，flutteritsfairyfluffuponhercheeks?Itwasthepriceofblood。HerbertCourtlandhadrunagreaterrisktoobtainthosefeathersthanDavid\'smightymenhadruntodrawthewaterfromthewell。ShehadheardallabouttheinsatiablesavageryofthenativesofNewGuinea。Paradise?

Whohadnamedthosebirdsthebirdsofparadise?SherecollectedhowthefeatherswhichEllahadwhirledabouthadheldintheverycenterofeverywonderfuldiscofrichpurple，edgedwithunequalradiatinglinesofgold，asinglespotofbrilliantcrimson，withatinystarofsilverinthecenter。TheeffectofthesunlightglintingoverthiscombinationonthethousandfeathersthatsweptafterthebirdhadcausedHerbertCourtland，thefirstwhitemanwhohadseenthisgloryofglories，tocallitthemeteor-bird。Butthosecrimsondrops:weretheynotthebloodofthemenwhohadperishedmiserablywhileendeavoringtowrestitsmarvelsfromthetropicalforestsofthatgreatisland?

Paradise?

AndEllacouldtreatthosefeathersasthoughtheyhadbeenpluckedfromatamepheasant?Andnowshewaslyinginherbedwiththefanonthepillowbesideher！

Howcouldshedoit?Thatwaswhatthegirlaskedherselfwhileshelayawakeonherownbed。WouldEllanotsee，onthewhitepillowbesideherhead，thecrimsonstainsofthefeathersthathadbeensnatchedoutofthedrippingredhandofdeath，butthemanwhohadnotfearedtograpplewithdeathitselfinthathellwhichpeoplecalledaparadise?

Buttheman，themanwhohadgrippeddeathbythethroatandhadtornthefeathersfromhisgrisly，fleshlessfingers，——herimaginationwasveryvividatnight，especiallyafterreadingathrillingchapterofHebrewmassacre，——thatmanhadtalkedwithheruponsuchtriflesasbooksandplays，strangepageantsenactedamongpaperandcanvasunrealitiesoflife。Shehadactuallybeenleaningagainstsomeofthesepaintedsceneswhilethemanwhohadfoughthiswayintothedepthsofthatforestwhichnowhitemanbuthimselfhadyetpenetrated，——themanwhoselifehad，daybydayandnightbynight，beendependentupontheaccuracyofhisrifleaim，——hadtalkedwithher。

Thatwasreallythesumofallherthoughts。Shedidnottrytorecallthewordsthathehadspoken；itwassimplythefigureofthemanwhohadbeenbeforeherthatnowremainedonhermind。Shedidnotstoptothinkwhetherornothehadspokenasamanwithintellectwouldspeak；whetherhehadspokenasamanwhoseorthodoxywasbeyondsuspicionwouldspeak。Thequestionofhisorthodoxy，ofhisintellect(whichmaybejusttheopposite)，didnotoccurtoher。Allshefeltwasthatshehadbeentalkingfacetofacewithaman。

Sothattheresultofherevening\'sentertainment，aftershehadreadherinspiringchapterintheBibleandsaidherbedsideprayer，shemighthavedefinedinpreciselythesamewordsasshehadspokentoherfriendEllawhenEllahadaskedher，immediatelyonenteringthecarriage，whatshethoughtofHerbertCourtland。

“Heisthebravestmanintheworldatpresent。”

Shedidnotfallasleepforaconsiderabletime。

CHAPTERXI。

I\'MAFRAIDTHATIMUSTHAVEPRINCIPLEONMYSIDE。

“Itisquiteridiculous，besidesbeinguntrue，“saidPhyllis，whenshehadreadthearticleinthenewspapertowhichherfathercalledherattentiononemorning，aweekafterthecriticismon“Cagliostro“hadappeared。Thearticlewasheaded:

“DYNAMITEVERSUSEVANGELIZATION，“

anditcameoutinaweeklypaperdevotedtotheinterestsofNonconformists。

“Itiswiththedeepestregretthatwehavetocalltheattentionofourreadersandthepublic[thearticleran]totheseriesofchargesbroughtbytheRevs。JosephCapperandEvansJones，theeminentpioneersoftheNonconformistEasternMission，againstagentlemantowhomaconsiderableamountofhonorisjustnowbeinggivenbytheRoyalGeographicalSociety，theEthnologicalInstitute，theOrnithologicalAssociation，andothersecularorganizations，onaccountofhisexplorationintheIslandofNewGuinea。ItisscarcelynecessarytosaythatwealludetoMr。

HerbertCourtland。ThepositionwhichhasbeenoccupiedforseveralyearsbythetwodistinguishedministerswhoseselfsacrificeinendeavoringtospreadtheLightthroughthedarkplacesofthetropicalforestsofasavagelandiswellknowntothesubscriberstotheN。E。M。，precludesthepossibilityofamistakebeingmadeinthismatter，andyettheydeclareinaletterwhichwepublishthismorningthatthemannerinwhichMr。

Courtlandpursuedhisso-calledexplorationsintheforestswhichlinethebanksoftheFlyRiverhaspracticallymadeimpossibleallattemptsatmissionworkinthatregion。InseveraldirectionsitisnotdeniedthatMr。Courtlandenteredintofriendlyrelationswithsomenativetribes；butinsteadofendeavoringtomakethepoorbenightedcreaturesacquaintedwiththeTruth，heactuallypurchasedasslavesoverahundredofthemtoaidhiminpenetratingtheKalloluforest，where，itwillberemembered，hesucceededinshootingthemuchillustratedmeteor-bird，aswellasseveralotherspecimenswhichwilldelightthemembersoftheOrnithologicalAssociationratherthanprofessingChristians。Ourdistinguishedcorrespondentsstate，andwehavenoroomtodoubttheirword，thatMr。Courtlandpurchasedhisslavesbyapromisetoassisttheheadmanoftheirtribeagainsthisenemiesbelongingtoanothertribe——apromisewhichheonlytooamplyfulfilled，theresultbeinganindiscriminateslaughterofsavageswho，thoughavowedcannibals，mighteventuallyhaveembracedthetruthsofNonconformity。Theelephantriflesoftheexplorerdidtheirdeadlyworkonlytooefficiently；butwetrustthat，forhisownsake，Mr。CourtlandwillbeabletobringforwardtrustworthyevidencetorebutthesuspicionofhishavinguponatleastoneoccasioninducedeventhefriendlynativestobelievethathepossessedthepoweroftheDeitytoperformmiracles，anduponanotheroccasionofhavinguseddynamiteagainstthembywhichhundredsweredestroyedincoldblood。ItistheevilinfluencesofsuchirresponsiblemenasMr。Courtland，whoseill-directedenterprisewecannotinjusticetohimrefrainfromacknowledging，thatretardtheeffortsofthosenoblepioneersofNonconformitywhohavealreadymadesuchsacrificesforthecause，andwhorejoiceatthedifficultieswithwhichtheyfindthemselvesbeset。

WeunderstandthataquestionwillbeputtotheMinisterfortheAnnexationDepartmentintheHouseofCommonstowardthelatterendoftheweek，onthesubjectoftheallegedexcessesofthemostrecentexplorer(so-called)ofNewGuinea——excesseswhichifcommittedinBulgariaorArmenia，orevenIreland，wouldhavecalledforanexpressionofthehorrorofChristianEurope；andwemaymentionthatsubscriptionsonbehalfoftheRevs。JosephCapperandEvansJoneswillbereceivedattheofficeofthispapertoenablethemtosubstantiatethetruthoftheirstatements。”

“Itisquiteridiculous，besidesbeinguntrue，papa，“criedPhyllis；

“andIhopethatyouwillnotfailtotakehispartandshowthefalsehoodofsuchaccusations。Couldanythingbemoreabsurdthanthatabouttheslaves?Slaves！Dynamite！“

“Leadinguptosubscriptions——don\'tforgetthat，“saidherfather。“Ifsubscriptionsaretobeforthcoming，theymustbegotup。Trafficinhumanflesh，insultstoaborigines，Siberia，theconversionoftheJews——alltheseappealdirectlytothepocketsoftheGreatEnglishPeople。Anyoneofthemwillconstituteanexcellentpegonwhichtohanganappealtothepocket。Thosetwodistinguishedpioneersof——

well，shallwesaycivilizationorNonconformity?——understandtheirbusiness，mydear。”

“Itisnopartoftheirbusinesstotryandholdabravemanuptotheexecrationofeveryone。”

“I\'mnotsosureofthat。Thetechnicalitiesofthemissionfieldarenotsoapparentallatonce。TheVineyard——well，thesystemofvine-

cultureofsomeoftheorganizationsisatrifleobscure。”

Phyllisbecameimpatient。

“TheHouseofCommons——aquestionistobeaskedintheHouse。Thenyoumustaskanother，papa，showingthenonsenseofthefirst。”

“Heavensabove！WhyshouldIbedraggedintothequarrel，ifitisaquarrel，ofHerbertCourtlandontheonehandandtheReverendsJosephCapperandwhat\'stheother，Smith——no，Jones——EvansJones?I

shouldn\'twonderifheisofWelshextraction。”

“Youwillsurelynotstandpassivelybyandhearabravemanslandered。Thatwouldbeunlikeyou，papa。No；youareboundtoprotestagainstthefalsehood。”

“AmIindeed?Why?Becausetheslanderedman，ifheisslandered，isthefriendofmydaughter\'sfriend?“

“Exactly——that\'squitesufficientforyoutogoupon——thatandthefalsehood。”

“Ifitisafalsehood。”

“If——oh，papa——if?“

“IfIhaveyourpersonalguaranteethatthestatementsareunsubstantiated——“

“Now，youarebeginningtojest。Icannotjestonsoseriousanissue。

Thinkofit——slaves——dynamite！“

“BothexcellentwordsformissionariestosendhometoEngland——almostequaltoopiumandidolsfromthestandpointofthemission-box。”

Phylliswassolemnforamoment；thensheburstintoamerrylaughthatonlywantedanoteofmerrimenttobedelightful。Herfatherdidnotmissthatnote。Hewasthinkingofanotherphrase。

“Now，whyshouldn\'tyousaythatorsomethinglikethat，myfather?“

criedthegirl。“SomethingtosettheHouselaughingbeforetheMinisteroftheAnnexationDepartmenthashadtimetoreply?Youcandoit，youknow。”

“IbelieveIcould，“saidMr。Ayrtonthoughtfully。“Butwhy，mychild；

why?“

“Why！Why！Oh，ifoneonlysaidgoodthingswhentherewasareasonforsayingthem，howdullweshouldallbe！Anystickforadog——anyjestisgoodenoughfortheHouseofCommons。”

“Yes；butsupposeitisinferredthatIamnotonthesideofthemissionaries?WhataboutHazelborough?“

HazelboroughwastheconstituencywhichMr。AyrtonrepresentedintheHouseofCommons。

“Mydearfather，wherewouldyoubeifyoucouldn\'tsteerthroughtheHazelboroughprejudicesnowandagain?Youcanalwayssaysomethingsogoodastomakepeoplenotcarewhichwayitcuts。”

“What?Oh，Phyllis！Iamashamedofyou。Besides，thepeopleofHazelboroughhavegottobeextremelysensitive。TheyhavecaughttheNonconformistConscience。ThebacillusoftheNonconformistConsciencewasrampantashorttimeago，andithasnotyetbeenstampedout。I\'mafraidthatImusthaveprincipleonmyside——someshowofprinciple，atanyrate——notsowideasachurchdoororsodeepasawell，butstill——“

“Andyouwill，too，papa。I\'llseeEllaandgethertofindoutfromMr。Courtlandwhatisthetruth。”

“Well，perhapsitmightn\'tbewisetorushintoextremesallatonce！

Iwouldn\'tinsistonthetruth，ifIwereyou。What\'stheHouseofCommonsthatitshouldbecockeredupwiththetruth?Allthatisneededisenoughtogoonwith。Anelectro-platingofveracityisinkeepingwiththeeconomictendenciesoftheage。”

“Iamnotafraidofthetruth，“criedPhyllis，withoutgivingthecynicismofherfatherthetributeofasmile。“Mr。Courtlandwould，I

know，beincapableofdoinganythingunworthyof——of——“

“Letussayanexplorer，“suggestedherfather。Heknewthatthewordwhichwasinhermindwas/Englishman/。Sheonlycheckedherselfwhenherimaginationcausedhertoperceivetheaveragesilk-hattedmanwithhistongueinhischeekattheutteranceofthephrase。“Letussay\'unworthyofanexplorer，\'“repeatedherfather；“thatisanelasticphrase。”

Phylliswasirritated。

“Ihavetalkedwithhim，“shesaidatriflecoldly。

“Yes，“saidherfather，“once。”

“IshouldhavesaidthatIknowElla。”

“AndyetEllaisawoman！“

“Oh，thechargesaretooridiculous！Slaves！Whatnonsense！Weallknowwhatslaveryis。Well，wherearehisslavesnow?Ifheonlyhiredthenativesforamonthortwotheywereonlyservants，notslaves。

Thethingismanifestlyridiculous。”

“Thenwhyshouldwetroubleourselveswiththeattempttorebutit?“

“Becausesomanypeopleareidiotsnowadays，“criedPhylliswarmly。

“Because，nomatterhowridiculousachargewhichisbroughtagainstadistinguishedpersonmaybe，somepeoplewillbefoundreadytobelieveinitstruth。Nevermind；I\'llfindoutthetruth；I\'llgotoElla。”

“Thefountain-headindeed，“saidMr。Ayrton。“Wheninsearchofthetruth，gotoawoman。”

“Iwill，atanyrate，“saidPhyllis。

Andshewentthither。

CHAPTERXII。

DYNAMITE——SLAVE-DEALING——MASSACRES——ARMENIA！

Phyllis，ofcourse，knewwhentogotoEllawiththecertaintyoffindingherathome。AttheluncheonhourMrs。LintonwasalwaysvisibletothethreefriendswhomshehadwithintheconfinesofMayfair。Sheconsideredherselfblessedamongwomeninthenumericalstrengthofherfriendships；andsoperhapsshewas；shehadthree。

Shewasinoneofherdrawingrooms——theonethatwasdecoratedwithwatercolorssetinflutedpanelsofyellowsilk——nottheonewiththepinkblindssobelovedbythoseofhervisitorswhohadreachedanagetoregardapinklightasawoman\'sbestfriend。ShewaswearinganewgownwhichPhyllis，inspiteofherenthusiasmonbehalfofabravemanmaligned，foundadmirablebothasregardsfabric，fit，andfashion。

Thenfollowedawordortwoofcommendationoftheartistswhohadbeenconcernedinitsproduction。Theyhadnotbeenabsurdaboutthesleeves，andtheyhadnotvetoedthesweepoflace——itwasabouthalfayardwide——whichthepersonwhooccupiedsoinsignificantapositionasisusuallyallocatedtothemerewearerofthegownhadsuggestedforthebodice。Thegownwasanunequivocalsuccess，andhadEllaseenthedisgracefularticlewhichhadappearedinthe/SpiritualAneroid/

onthesubjectofMr。Courtland\'sexplorations?

Ellasmiledaslowsmile，asthequestionjoinedthecongratulationwithoutthelapseofabreath。

“The/SpiritualAneroid/?Whoisthe/SpiritualAneroid/?Whatisthe/SpiritualAneroid/?“sheasked。“Oh，anewspaper。WhatcouldanewspaperwithsuchafunnynamehavetosayaboutMr。Courtland?“

“Ihavebroughtitwithme，“saidPhyllis。“Itisquitedisgraceful。

I\'msureyou\'llagreewithme。”

“I\'mcertainofit。”

EllaacceptedtheprofferedpaperandglanceddownthearticlepointedouttoherbyPhyllis。Phyllis\'eyesweregleamingassheplacedherfingeronthewords，“Dynamite/versus/Evangelization，“butElla\'seyesdidnotgleamwhileshewasreadingallthewordsprintedbeneaththeheading。Shefoldedthepaperandglancedcarelesslyatthenameatthetopoftheoutsidepageandsaid，“Well?“

“Wasthereeveranythingsodisgraceful?“criedthegirl。“Wasthereeveryanythingsofalse?“

“Isitfalse?“askedElla。

“Howcanyoudoubtit?DoyoufancythatMr。Courtlandwouldbeaslave-dealer?“

“Iwonderhowhe\'dlookinthebroadflathatwhichappearsinallthepicturesoftheslave-dealers?Ratherwell，Ifancy，“saidMrs。

Linton。

“Oh，howcanyoutalkofhislookingwellorillwhenyoureadsuchanattackuponhim?“saidPhyllis，jumpingupwithacharminglyrosyface。“Surelyitissomethingtoyouwhensodistinguishedaman——yourfriendaswell——isattacked！“

“Ifweweretravelingwithhimacrossthedesertinacaravan，shouldwemindmuchifthewholecaravanwereattackedbyBedouinsormissionariesorpeopleofthatstamp，mydear?Ofcourseweshouldn\'t。

Weshouldfeelthathewouldbeequaltothedefenseofallofus，andhimselfaswell。”

“Oh，ofcourse；butthisisquiteanotherthing，isn\'tit?“

“Whereisthedifference?Ifanybodymindsthenonsenseprintedinthatthing，HerbertCourtlandwillcertainlybeabletodefendhimselfwhencalledontodoso。”

Phyllisseatedherselfonceagain。

“ButaquestionistobeaskedinParliamentabouthim?“shesuggested。

“Andcanyou，thedaughterofamemberofthatParliament，honestlytellmethatyoufancythatanyhumanbeingmindshowmanyquestionsareaskedabouthimintheQuestionableHouse?“

“Buttheleastbreathofsuspicion——dynamite——slave-dealing——massacres——Armenia。Oh，thearticleiscertaintobecopiedintodozensofotherpapers——thepublicdosoliketogetholdofsomescandalagainstamanwhohasdonesomethinggreat。”

“Theydoindeed。WouldyousuggestorganizingacommitteeofladiesfortheprotectionofMr。Courtland?“

“Don\'ttalknonsense，Ella。Ithoughthatyouwerehisfriend，andthatyouwouldbeasindignantasIwasatthatdisgracefulattackuponhisreputation。”

“Idon\'tthinkthatitwillplacehisreputationinjeopardy，unlesswiththereadersofthatpaper，andtheyarenotworthtakingintoaccount，arethey?“

“Papasaysthethinghasalargecirculationamongacertainclass。I

wanthimtoridiculethequestionwhichisthreatenedinthatarticle；

heknowshowtodothatkindofthingverywell。”

“Isitcometothat，myPhyllis?Wereyoureallysogreatlyinterestedintheoneconversationyouhadwithhimastoconstituteyourselfhischampion?“

AboveallthingsPhylliswastruthful。Shehadneverhadanexperienceoflove——thatpassionwhichcanchangethemosttruthfulofwomankindintotheleastscrupulous。TherewasnopausebetweenElla\'squestionandPhyllis\'answer。

“CertainlytheoneconversationthatIhadwithhiminterestedme——I

toldyousoreturninginthecarriage。Hasheneversucceededininterestingyou，Ella?Hetoldmethatyouwerehisfriend——Ibelievehesaidhisdearestfriend。”

“AndIbelievethathetoldyouthetruth，“saidElla。“But，beinghisbestfriendandawoman，Irefrainfromconstitutingmyselfhischampion。YouseeweliveinPhilistia，myPhyllis，andthechampionsthatPhilistiasendsforthusuallycometogrief；therewasthecaseofoneGoliathofGath，forexample。Ihavenodesiretohavestonesslungatmebythechosenpeople。”

“I\'mnotquitesurethatIunderstandyou，“saidPhyllis，withaveryprettypuckeronherforehead。“Youdon\'tmeantosaythatawomanshouldnotdoherbestforamanwhomsheknowstobemaligned?Youdon\'tsuggestthatsheshouldstandsilentlytoonesidewhilepeoplearesayingwhat\'sfalseabouthim?“

“Isaythatit\'sunwiseinPhilistia；thoughIadmitthatitisofthegreatestadvantagetotheman，forpeopleatonceceasemaligninghimandtaketomaligningher。”

“Ifsheisanysortofawomanshewillnotmindthat，howeverunjustitmaybe。Inthiscase，however，Idon\'tthinkthereismuchrisk:

eventhemostunscrupulouspersoncouldhardlysaythat——that——“

“ThatwewerebecomingHerbertCourtland\'schampions，becausewewereinlovewithhim?“

“Well，Idon\'tknow。Wasn\'tthatwhatyoumeanttosuggestpeoplewouldsayofawomanwhobecameaman\'schampion?“

“Somethinginthatway。Howstraightforwardlyyouspeakoutwhat\'sonyourmind！“

“Oh，I\'magirlofto-day。Ihavegotoverallthoseabsurdaffectationsofchildishnesswhichusedtobethoughtfemininelongago。Thegambolsofthekittenwereoncethoughtthemostattractivethingonearth，andtheyareveryinteresting:butforthefull-growncattopretendthatitisperfectlyhappywithaballofworsted，whenallthetimeithasitsheartsetonarealmouse，isnonsense。”

“Thatisanallegory，asubtleparable，Phyllis。ButIfancyIcaninterpretit。Youarequiteright。Menknowthatwe，thefull-growncats，takenointerestintheravelingsofwoolasmediumsofdiversion——thatwehaveourheartssetonmice。Oh，yes！itismuchbettertobestraightforwardinourspeech——itisevensometimesbettertobequitestraightinourwaysaswell。Itusuallypreventsmisunderstanding。Thereisscarcelyasubjectthatwomenmaynottalkabouttomeninthemostdirectway，nowadays。Butaboutthequestionofchampionship——“

HerethedooroftheroomwasthrownopenandMr。HerbertCourtlandwasannounced。

“IquiteforgottomentionthatMr。Courtlandwaslunchingwithusto-day，Phyllis，“saidElla，whileshakinghandswithhervisitor。

“Nowyouwillhaveachanceofgettingtheslave-dealer\'saccountofthewholebusiness。Areyouaslave-dealer，Bertie?Ifso，whydon\'tyouweartheusualbroad-leavedhatofyourorder?“

“ItisIwhoamtheenslavedone，“saidMr。Courtland，layinghishandtotheleftofthebuttonsofhiswhitewaistcoatandbowingthebowoftheearlyyearsofthecentury，withaglanceateachlady。

“Whataprettyreminiscenceoftheageofartificiality！“saidElla；

“andwhatanaptcommentaryuponthesubjectweweretalkingabout，Phyllis！Wewerediscussingthemeritsofdirectnessinspeechandstraightnessineveryway。Wewereridiculingthetimidmaid——allsandalsandsimper——offortyyearsago。Whyshouldmenandwomenhaveevertakenthetroubletobeaffected?Letusgointolunchandeatwiththeappetitesofmenandwomenofthenineties，notwiththenibblingsofsocietyofthefifties。Comealong，Phyllis。Mr。

Courtlandwilltellusallabouthisdreadfulgoingson，hisslave-

dealings，hisdynamitings。Haveyouseenthatarticleinthe——what\'sthenameofthepaper，Phyllis?“

“The/SpiritualAneroid/，“saidPhyllis。

“Ihaven\'tbeensofortunate，“saidhe。

“Thenweshalltakethepaperintothediningroomwithus，andplaceitbeforeyou。Ifyouwereguiltyofthedoingsthatthearticledetails，youwoulddowellto——to——well，toadoptthepicturesquecostumeincidentaltoruffianism——thelinenjacketoftheslave-

trader，themangyfurcollarofthedynamitymanofwar。Haveyouevertraffickedinhumanbeings，Mr。Courtland?“

“Well，yes，“saidhe。“Ihavedonealittleinthatway，Iadmit。”

“Anddynamite——haveyouevermassacredpeoplewithdynamite?“Ellacontinued。

“Well，whenmydynamiteexploded，thepeoplewhowereintheimmediateneighborhoodwereneverjustthesameafterward，“saidhe。

“Finally，didyouallowyourselftobeworshipedasGod?“sheasked。

“Yes，Igotthemtodothat，“hereplied。“Ihaveexperiencedallhumansensations，includingthoseofagodinworkingorder。”

“ThenIhopeyouwillmakeagoodlunch。Webeginwithwhite-bait。”

“Iamquitesatisfiedtobeginwithwhite-bait，“saidhe。

CHAPTERXIII。

EVENTHEHOUSEOFCOMMONSDOESN\'TMATTERMUCH。

“Ididnotintendtostayforlunch，“saidPhyllis，“butyouroverpoweringwillsweptmealongwithit，Ella。ButIhopeyouwillletmesaythatIdon\'tthinkyoushouldjestaboutwhatis——whatsomepeopleatanyratethinkveryserious。”

“PhyllisisofPhilistia，“saidElla，“andPhilistiawasalwaysgiventoordealbychampions。Shethinkstheattackmadeuponyoubytwomissionariesintheirnewspaperorganquitedisgraceful。Itdoesn\'tseemsodisgracefulafterall。”

“Ihaven\'tseentheattack，“saidhe。“ButIfeelittobeverygoodofMissAyrtontothinkitdisgraceful。”

“OfcourseIthoughtitdisgraceful，“saidPhyllis，“andIcametoEllatotalkitallover。Thearticleaccusesyouofatrocities，andsaidthataquestionwouldshortlybeputtotheMinisteroftheAnnexationDepartmentintheHouseofCommons。Now，Iknowthatthereisnothingmyfatherenjoysmorethansnubbingthosedetestablemenwhoendeavortogetupareputationforphilanthropy，andtemperance，andbimetallism，andothervirtues，byputtingquestionsonthepaper；

andhecould，Ithink，asksomecounterquestioninthisparticularcasethatwouldridiculetheoriginalbusybody。”

“Itwasverygoodofyoutothinkso，MissAyrton，“saidhe。“Ican\'tsaythat，personally，ImindalltheattacksthatallthemissionarieswhoearnprecarioussalariesinSouthSeasmaymakeuponme；butI

mustconfessthatIhaveaweaknessforseeingbusybodiesputtoshame。”

“YoumaydependuponMr。Ayrton\'ssatire，“saidElla。“Itnevermissesthepointintheharness。Thebarbofthedartis，Ibelieve，Mr。

Ayrton\'s，thefeatherattheotherendisPhyllis\'。”

“Onlyoncethathappened，“saidPhyllis。“Oh，no！papamanufactureshisowndarts，fromfeathertotip。”

“Butsupposingthatthechargesbroughtagainstmearetrue?“

suggestedMr。Courtland。

“Why，then，can\'tyouseethereisallthegreaterneedforingenuityinyourdefense?“saidElla。

“Itisimpossibletothinkofthechargesastrue，“saidPhyllisstoutly。

“Forexample?“saidhe。

“Well，thearticlesaidthatyouhadmadeslavesofsomeofthenativesofNewGuinea，purchasingthembyapromisetohelpanativechiefagainsthisenemies。”

“Therewasn\'tmuchharminthat:Ididit，“saidhe。

“Andthenitwentontosaythatyoukeptyourpromise，“saidPhyllis。

“What！Theyaccusedmeofkeepingmypromise?“saidhe。“Well，I\'mafraidIcan\'tdenythatchargeeither。”

“Didyoureallyslaughterthenatives?“criedPhyllis。

Theinterestwhichshefeltappearedinhereyes。

“Ididmybestforthesavageswhohadpurchasedmyservices，“hereplied。“Thecampaignwasnotaprotractedone。Twodaysaftertheoutbreakofhostilitiesbroughtthingstoaclimax。Wefoughtourdecisivebattle——theSedanofKingMubamayo。Yousee，IhadatrustworthyWinchester。Ibelievethataboutseventyoftheenemybitthedust。”

“Onlyseventy?Thatwasunworthyofyou，Mr。Courtland，“criedElla。

“Nothingshortofthousandscountsasacivilizedbattle。Seventy！Oh，I\'mafraidyoudon\'tdoyourselfjustice。”

“Ofcourseabattleisabattle，“saidPhyllisstoutly。“Ifyouhadn\'tkilledthemtheywouldhavekilledyou。Youwereintheright，I\'msure。”

“I\'mnotsosureofthat，“saidhe，shakinghishead。“Totellyouthetruth，theelementsofthecrisisofHeadmanGlowabyolaweresomewhatinvolved。Theoriginaldisputewasdifficultforaforeignertounderstand——itwas，infact，theSchleswig-HolsteinquestionofKafalonga。”

“Yousettledit，anyway，“suggestedElla。“YouweretheBismarckofwhat\'s-its-name?“

“IdoubledthepartsofBismarckandVonMoltke，“saidhe。

“Andthat\'swhytheyworshipedyouastheirgod?Idon\'twonderattheheatheninhisblindnessdoingthat。AnymanwhowasthesameasBismarckandVonMoltkewouldcertainlyshoulderadeityoutofhisway，“laughedElla。

“Itsohappened，however，thatmydeificationwasdueneithertomyrecognitionasadiplomatistnorasamilitarystrategist，“saidtheexplorer。“No，theywantedsomethingbeyondthemerefightingmantoworship，andmyknowledgeofthatfactcombinedwiththeirpaeansofvictory——tothe/obbligato/ofasolidiron-wooddrumbeatenwiththethighbonesoftheconquered——tokeepmeawakeatnight。ButonemorningtheheadmancameuponmewhenIwasabouttoboilmykettletomakemyselfacupoftea。Ihadasmalllampthatburnedspirits，andhestoodbywhileIfilleditupfromthebottlethatIcarriedwithme。Hetookitforgrantedthatthespiritwaswater，andhewasgreatlyimpressedwhenhesawitflareupasIappliedalightedmatchtoit。HeaskedmeifIpossessedthepowertosetwaterinablaze，andIassuredhimthatthatwassomethingforwhichIhadlongbeencelebrated；addingthatwhenIhadhadmybreakfastImeanttowhileawayanhourortwobysettingfiretotheoceanitself。Heimploredofmetoreconsidermydecision，andwhenIhadpouredalittlespiritintothehollowofmyhandandlighteditinthepresenceofhismosteminentscientists，theysaidthattheyalsodesiredtoassociatethemselveswiththeheadman\'spetition。Iwas，however，inexorable；I

walkeddowntothebeachandhadjuststruckamatchonthebrinkoftheoceanwhenthewholetribeprostratedthemselvesaroundme，promisingtocontinueworshipingmeifIwouldonlystaymyhand。

Well，whatcouldIdo?Iweaklyyieldedandsparedthemultitudinousseafrombeingthemediumofwhatwouldinalllikelihoodhavebeenthegreatestconflagrationonrecord。Fromthatmoment，I\'mhappytosay，theyworshipedmeastheirsupremedeity，andI\'mboundtosaythatIbehavedassuch；Iwascertainlythemostsuperiorclassofgodtheyhadeverhad，andtheygavemeatestimonialtothiseffectincaseImighteverbelookingoutforanewsituation。”

“Thatwashowyoumanagedtogetsuchacollectionofbirds，includingmymeteor-bird，“saidElla。“ButPhyllisofPhilistiaisshockedatthebarerecitalofsuchataleofidolatry。Areyounot，Phyllis?“

“IthinkIamalittleshocked，“saidPhyllis。Shedidnotsaythatherfirstthoughtjustthenwasthatthefeatherfanwasnot，afterall，thepriceofblood:itwassomethingmuchworse。“Itwasanencouragementofidolatry，wasitnot，Mr。Courtland?“

“Scarcely，“saidhe。“Onthecontrary，itwasanhonestattempttoleadthemfromtheiridolstosomethinghigherandbetter。”

“Youaresomethinghigherandbetter，“suggestedElla。

“Quiteso；Iamalittlelowerthantheangels，butagooddealhigherthantheawfulimagewhichtheyworshipedbeforeIturnedup，“saidhe。“ThewholetribeadmittedinthemosthonorablemannerthatIwasbyfarthebestgodtheyhadeverhad；theyhadnotanunluckydaysolongastheyworshipedme，andIretainedmyWinchesterandafullsupplyofcartridges。”

“Thetestimonywasflattering，“saidElla。“ButstillPhyllisisshocked。”

“Iam，“saidPhyllis。“IbelieveinGod。Mr。CourtlandbelievesinaPrinciple。”

“Anyhow，Iledsomethousandsofsavagesfromidolatryandcannibalismtosomethinghigher，andthat\'sabetterrecordthanmostgodsofmyacquaintancecanshow。Everythingmustbedonegraduallytobedonepermanently。Nothingcouldbemoreabsurdthanthe/modusoperandi/ofyourmissionary。MostofthemhavegotridoftheirChristianitytomakewayfortheirtheology。Theyendeavortoinculcateuponthenativesthemostsubtlepointsoftheirtheologicalsystem，immediatelyaftertheyhavepreachedagainstthewickednessofeconomyinthematterofclothing。”

“Alargemissionaryworkmightbedoneamonghusbandsathome，“

saidElla。“Butwhataboutthedynamite，thatisthechargewhichstillhandsoveryou——achargeofdynamite?“

“Thatwasmyworsthour，“saidCourtland。“IhadgoneuptheFlyRiverinmysteamlaunchtoapointneverpreviouslyreachedbyaEuropean。

Iwasfortunateenoughtogetsomespecimensthathadneverbeenseenbefore，andIwasreturningtothecoast。MyengineerandIwerecapturedwhenashoreonenightgettingfuelforourfurnace。Theytookusintotheforestalongway，bindingourhandswiththefiberofoneofthecreepers，andIhadnotroublewhatevergatheringthatitwastheirintentiontomakeafeastofus——asortofhightea，itwastobe，fortheybeganbrewingtheherbswhichIknewtheyusedonlywhentheywerecannibalizing。Wewerecourteouslypermittedtowatchthesepreparations，foritwasrightlyassumedthattheywouldbeinsomedegreeinterestingtous。Wewere，indeed，greatlyinterestedinallwesaw，butmuchmoresowhen，towardevening，anumberofthenativesarrivedonthescenecarryingwiththemsomeofthestoreswhichtheyhadfoundaboardthesteamlaunch。Theybrokeopenwithastonehatchetsometinsofpreservedmeat，andseemedtoenjoythecontentsgreatly。Thebiscuitstheydidn\'tcareformuch，andthecakesofsoapwhichtheybegantoeatcouldnothonestlybesaidtobeanentiresuccessascomestibles。Butwhilewewatchedthematthese/horsd\'oeuvres/tothebanquetatwhichwewereexpectedtotakeaprominentpart，astragglercameupwithsomereservesupplies；Isawthem；tinsofdynamite——wecarrieddynamiteforblowingupthesnagsthatobstructedthenarrowerreachesoftheriver。Wewatchedthethievescrowdaroundthebearerofthetins，andwesawthatthegeneralimpressionthatprevailedinregardtothemwasthattheyhadcomeuponsomeofthemosthighlyconcentratedbeeftheyhadeverhadintheirhands。Whentheylaidthetinsamongthehotashesoftheirfiresandbegantobreakthemopenwiththeirstonehatchets，myengineerthoughtwithmethatalltheinteresttherewouldbeinthesubsequentproceedingscouldnotpossiblycompensateusforthewasteofprecioustimewhichwouldbeentailedbyourremaining。Weboltedinspiteofourfetteredhands，butbeforewehadgotmorethanacoupleofhundredyardsfromthecamp，theretookplacetheseverestearthquake，coincidentalwithathunderstormandthesaluteofabatteryofathousandheavyguns。Wewerewhirledintotheairlikefeathersinabreeze，butmanagedtocling——ourbondsbeingbroken——tosomeoftheboughsamongwhichwefoundourselves。Shortlyafterward，aquarterofanhourorso，therecameontheheaviestshowerIhadeverexperienced。Suchadownpourofbranchesoftrees，gnarledroots，brokenfruits，birds\'feathers，mutilatedapesofmanyspecies，and——

well，anatomicalspecimens！Itwentonandonuntiltheboughsaroundusweremadeintosplintersandwewerebeatentothegroundwiththeforceofthosemissiles，allthedenseforestaroundusechoingtotheshrieksoftheloriesandparrots，themonkeysandthewildcats。”

“Andnowthemissionaries，“saidElla，afterapause。

“Andwhathappenedafterthat?“whisperedPhyllis。

Heshookhishead。

“Afterthatwecameaway，“hesaid。“Wecouldn\'tseethattherewasanyneedforustostayloafingabouttheforestwhenwehadourbusinesstomindinanotherdirection。Ittookustwodays，however，findingourlaunch。”

“Andthatiswhatthemissionariescallyourdynamiteoutrageagainstthenatives?“saidElla。

“Soitwouldseem，“saidhe。“Isupposetheymanagedtogetsomeaccountofthebusiness；onecan\'thushupadynamiteoutrageevenintheinteriorofNewGuinea。”

“Butwhatagrossmisrepresentationoffactsitwastosaythatyouhadmassacredthenatives，“criedPhyllisindignantly。

Helaughedwithashrug。

“Oh，wemustalllive，“hesaid。

“Unlessthosewhotreattinsofdynamiteasthoughtheyweretinsofbrawn，“saidElla。ThenturningtoPhyllisshesmiled。

Phyllishadnodifficultyinterpretingthesmile。

“Yes，“shesaid，“youropinionwasquitecorrect:Mr。Courtlanddoesn\'tcarewhatpeoplesay，anditdoesn\'tmatterintheleastwhattheydosay，orwhatfalsehoodsarespreadabroad。”

“Notinthesmallestdegree，“saidElla。“HerbertCourtlandisstillHerbertCourtland。”

“ButsofarasIcangather，“saidMr。Courtland，“allthatthemissionariessaidofmewassubstantiallycorrect。”

“Readthepaperandyouwillseehowdetestablyfalseallthechargesare，“criedPhyllis，rising，——theservantshadnowlefttheroom，——andpickingupthe/SpiritualAneroid/fromwhereEllahadlaiditonachair。

HerbertCourtlandhadnotyetopenedit。Hetookitfromher，saying:

“Thankyou，MissAyrton。ButIreallydon\'tseethatitconcernsmeverymuchwhetherornotthechargesbroughtagainstmearetrueorfalse。Thematteriscertainlyoneforthe——the——ah——/SpiritualAneroid/anditsspecial/clientele/。”

“ButaquestionistobeaskedaboutitintheHouseofCommons。I

saidsojustnow，“criedPhyllis。

“AndeventheHouseofCommonsdoesn\'tmattermuch，“saidElla。

“Thatiswhatpapathought，“saidPhyllismeekly。“OnlyIknowthatifMr。Courtlandthoughtitworthnoticing，papawouldbequitepleasedtoputacounterquestion。ThatiswhyIcamehereto-day。”

“Itwassogoodofyou，“saidtheman。

“MyPhyllisisallthatisgood。Letusreturntothedrawingroom，“

saidElla，rising。

Theyreturnedtothedrawingroom；butwhentheyhadbeenintheapartmentforperhapsfourminutes，certainlynotfive，PhyllissaiditwasnecessaryforhertohurryhomeinorderthattheafternoonlettersshouldbesenttoherfatherattheHouse。

Withanotherwordofappreciationofherkindness，Mr。Courtlandheldherhandasecondlongerthanwasabsolutelynecessarytomaintainacharacterforcivility。

“Sheisthemostcharminggirlintheworld，“remarkedEllatothevisitor，whoremainedwhenPhyllishadleft。

“Isshe?“saidhe。

“Iknowit。Don\'tyou?“askedshe。

“HowdoIknow?“hesaid。“Ihavethoughtnothingaboutit。Ifyousaysheischarming，Iampleasedtohearit。Itmattersnomoretomethattheworldisfullofcharminggirlsthanthatthekrakenisstillatthebottomofthesea。Onewomanfillsallmythoughts。Myheartisfullofher。”

“Andyouwanthertoriskthesalvationofhersoulforyou?“

“Yes；thatisjustwhatIwant。”

Heremainedwithherforanotherhour。

CHAPTERXIV。

THEHONORABLEMEMBERISCLEARLYOUTOFORDER。

Mr。Ayrtonmethisdaughterthenextmorningwiththegoodnewsthathehadfoundamonghisspecimencasesofphrases，onethatwouldeffectuallysilencethememberfromWaleswhohadbeennominatedbytheNonconformistEasternMissionarySocietytoputthatquestiontotheministeroftheAnnexationDepartmentonthesubjectofMr。

Courtland，theexplorer。Mr。Ayrtonwasthebetterpleasedathisdiscovery，becauseoftheinoffensivenatureofthephrasewhichhehadtakenoutofitscase，sotospeak。Asarule，hedidnotmindbeingoffensiveifonlyhisphrasewasapt。Onlypeoplewhohadnoartisticappreciationfoundfaultwiththetoneofsomeofhismostnotablephrases。Hedidnotmindwhethertheywerejustorunjust，theysaid。Asifamancanbebothhonestandwittyatthesametime！

Itsohappened，however，thatthepartytowhichMr。Ayrtonbelongedhadbecomegreatlyconcernedinrespectofanelementthathadjustcometothesurfacetostillfurthercomplicatethecourseofpolitics。ThiswastheNonconformistConscience——hithertoa/quantitenegligeable/inthecalculationsoftheleaders，butnowonethatitappearedabsolutelynecessarytotakeintoaccountasafactor。Tobesure，therewereagoodmanypeoplewhoputtheirtonguesintheircheekswhenanymentionwasmadeoftheNonconformistConscience:theysaiditwasnomoretobetakenseriouslythantheSpectorontheBrockenortheAthanasianCreed。Itwasonlythetrickofanelectioneeringagentdesirousofescapingfromanuntenableposition。

Therewereotherpersons，however(mostlyNonconformists)，whowerefoundreadytodeclarethattheNonconformistConsciencewasaGreatandLivingTruth。Theonlypointuponwhichstatesmenofallpartieswereagreedwasthatitwasworthpurchasing。TheNonconformiststhemselves，uponwhomtheGreatandLivingTruthwassprung，hadnonotionatfirstthatitcouldbeturnedintoanegotiablesecurityoccupyingashighaplaceinthemarketas，say，Argentinebonds。Butitdidnottakethemverylongtofindoutthatevenanabstractionsuchasthiscouldbeturnedtogoodaccountbydiscreetmaneuvering。

Truthsometimesisheardonanelectionplatform，andyettruthisbutanabstractquality。Why，thenshouldnotaGreatandLivingTruthbecomearegulargoldminetoitsinventor?Itwasasgreataninventionastheartofelectroplating，whichitcloselyresembled，andaquiteasnicethingcouldbemadeoutofitbyalittledexterousmanipulation。Iftheconscienceissilver，theNonconformistConscienceisatleastelectroplateofafirst-classquality，itwasargued；andapoliticalmanifesto，whichwaspracticallyafinancialprospectus，wasissuedwithaviewoffloatingtheNonconformistConscienceCompany，Limited。

Englishpoliticscannotbyanypossibilityberegardedasanexactscience；andthusitwasthatallpoliticalpartieswereatthistimemakingbidsforsharesintheenterprise。Theleadersofoneparty，infact，expressedthemselvesreadytobuyupthewholeconcern，andtheyactuallytenderedbillspayableattwelvemonthsforallthevendors\'

interest，anditwasonlywhenthesebillsbecamedueandwerereturneddishonoredthattheshadowycharacterofthetransactionwasmadeplain，andthecountrywasconvulsedatthedisclosureofthefactthatthevendorshaddisposedofaperfectlyworthlessinvention，andthatthepurchasershadpaidforitbypromisesthatwereequallyworthless。

Allthishappenedlater，however；whenthefusswasmadeabouttheatrocitiesbyanexplorerinNewGuinea，andMr。Ayrtonwascontemplatingacounterquestionthatshouldcastridiculeuponthemissionariesandtheirchampion，hewasgiventounderstandbytheleadersofhisparty，who，itwasbelieved，hadasmallparcelofbaronetciesdoneupinofficialtwine，withblankspacesforthenameandaddressineach，awaitingdistributionatthefirstchangeofGovernment，thathemusttakenostepthatmightjeopardizetherelationsofthepartywiththevendorsoftheNonconformistsConscience。The/SpiritualAneroid/wastheleadingNonconformistorgan，anditwouldnotdotosneeratthemissionarieswhomitsupported。Itwouldbebetterthatalltheexplorerswhohadeverriskedtheirlivesonbehalfofcivilizationshouldgobytheboardthanthatasinglevoteshouldbelosttotheparty，hewasassuredbytheSeniorWhip。

Thiswasratherirritatingtotheartistinphrases；becauseitstoodtoreasonthatthemajorityofhisphraseswerecalculatedtobehurtfultohisopponents。Hewasthusquiteelatedwhenhecameuponsomethingwhichwould，hefeltsure，callcommentinthepressattheexpenseofthememberfromWaleswithoutcastinganyslightuponNonconformistMissionaryenterprise。

Hereadoutthethingtohisdaughter，andhewassurprisedtofindthatshewasnotappreciativeofitsuniquecharm。Thiswasrathertoobad，hefelt，consideringthatitwasshewhohadenlistedhisservicesinthisparticularmatter。

“Idon\'tthinkMr。CourtlandwantsanybodytotakehispartinParliamentoroutofit，“saidshe。“Andthat\'swhyIthinkitwouldbebettertoletthatMr。Apthomasaskhisquestionwithoutinterruption。WhatcantheMinisterofAnnexationsayexceptthathehasnoinformationonthesubject，andthatifhehadhecouldnotinterfere，ashehadnojurisdictionontheFlyRiver?“

“Thatiswhathewillreplyasamatterofcourse，“saidherfather。

“ButthatwillnotpreventthenewspapersthatareonthesideofWalesandthemissionariesfromsayingwhattheypleaseinthewayofcommentontheatrocitiesinNewGuinea。”

“Mr。Courtlandwillnotmindwhatevertheymaysay，“criedPhyllis。

“ThatwastheviewItookofthematterinregardtoMr。Courtland\'sattitudewhenyoumentionedittomeatfirst，“saidhe。“Ididn\'tsupposethathewasthemantobebrokendownbecausesomefoolishpaperattackshim；butyouwereemphaticinyourdenunciationoftheinjusticethatwouldbeliabletobedoneif——“

“Oh，IhadonlyspokenforabouthalfanhourtoMr。Courtlandthen，“

saidPhyllis。“IthinkIknowhimbetternow。”

“Yes，youhavespokenwithhimforanotherhalfhour；youthereforeknowhimtwiceaswellasyoudid，“remarkedherfather。“Iwonderifheadmittedtoyouhavingdoneallthathewasaccusedofdoing。”

HesawinamomentfromthelittleuneasymovementofhereyesthathehadmadeanexcellentguessatthegeneralresultoftheconversationatMrs。Linton\'slittlelunch。HehadnotyetsucceededinobtaininganydetailsfromhisdaughterregardinghervisittoElla。ShehadmerelytoldhimthatEllahadkepthertolunch，andthatMr。

Courtlandhadbeentherealso。

“Yes。Idobelievethatheadmittedeverything，“hecontinued，withalaughashethoughthowcleverhewas。(Hehadfrequentreasonsforlaughingthatlaugh。)

“No，“saidPhyllisdoubtfully；“hedidnotadmiteverything。”

“Therewassomereservation?PerhapsitwasmelinitethatheemployedforthemassacreoftheinnocentsofNewGuinea，notdynamite。”

“No；itwasdynamite。Butthenativeshadstolenitfromhissteamlaunchandtheyexplodeditthemselves。”

Mr。Ayrtonlaybackinhischairconvulsedwithlaughter。

“Andthatisthetruestoryofthedynamitemassacre?“hecried。“Thatishowitcomesthat，inthewordsofthe/Aneroid/，theworksofevangelizationonNonconformistprinciplesislikelytoberetardedforsometime?Themissionariesarequiterighttoo。Andwhatabouthismiracles——theysuggestedamiracle，didn\'tthey?“

“Oh，thatwassomefoolishnessaboutsettingspiritsofwineonfire，“

saidPhyllis。“Thenativesthoughtthatitwaswater，youknow。”

Mr。Ayrtonlaughedmoreheartilythanbefore。

“Thatisthecrowninginfamy，“hecried。“MydearPhyllis，itwouldbequiteimpossibletoallowsodeliciousaseriesofmissionarymuddlestopassunnoticed。IthinkIseemywayclearlyinthematter。”

Sheknewthathedid。Sheknewthatheregardedmostincidentsinthepoliticalworldmerelyasfeederstohisphrase-makingcapacity。SheknewthatitwouldbeimpossibletorepresshimnowinthematterofCourtlandandthemissionaries；shefullyrealizedthefeelingsofFrankenstein。

Onlytheweakestprotestdidshemakeagainstherfather\'sintendedaction；andthuswhenthedaycameforMr。Apthomas\'question，thatgentlemanfromWalesinquired，“IfHerMajesty\'sMinisterforAnnexationscouldgivetheHouseanyinformationregardingtheso-

calledexplorationsofMr。HerbertCourtlandintheislandofNewGuinea，particularlyinrespectofamassacreofnativesbydynamiteintheregionoftheFlyRiver；andifitwastruethatthegentlemanjustnamedhadpermittedhimselftobeworshipedasagodbytheaboriginesofanotherregion；andifHerMajesty\'sMinisterforDomesticAffairswaspreparedtosaythatitwaslegalforoneofHerMajesty\'ssubjectstoassumetheprivilegesandfunctionsofagod，andiftheFirstLordoftheTreasurywaspreparedtocommunicatetotheHousewhatcourse，ifany，HerMajesty\'sgovernmentmeanttoadoptwithaviewtothepreventionofsimilaroutragesinthesameregioninthefuture?“

Mr。AyrtonrosebeforetheMinisteroftheAnnexationDepartmenthadquiteconcludedhisyawn，andsaidhetrustedthathewasinorder(criesof“Yes，yes，“fromthosememberswhoknewthatthehonorablememberhadanenliveningphrasewhichhewantedtogetridof)ininquiring，inconnectionwiththesamesubject，iftherighthonorablegentlemancouldinformtheHouseiftherewasanytruthinthereportcurrentinfinancialandothercirclesthattheobjectoftheexplorationsofMr。HerbertCourtlandwasthediscoveryofasmallmammaloftheporcinetribe，andifoneoftheLawOfficersoftheCrownwaspreparedtoassuretheHousethatitwouldbecontrarytotheprovisionsoftheCompaniesAct，andtheCompaniesActAmendmentAct，topermitthisNewGuineapigtoassumethefunctionsofthedirectorofLimitedLiabilityCompanies，whosedirectoratewaslargelycomposedofmembersofbothHousesofParliament(greatlaughterfromhonorablegentlemenwhowereawarethattheMr。Apthomashadnoincomebeyondtheremunerationhereceivedasadirectorofcompanies)；andifHerMajesty\'sMinisterforAgriculturewaspreparedtostatethatitwastheintentionofHerMajesty\'sGovernmenttoprohibittheintroductionof，atanyratethemalesofthemammalsjustreferredto，consideringtherapidincreaseinrepresentativeassembliesoftheEnglishorWelshbore——(Greatlaughter，whichpreventedtheconcludingwordsofthesentencebeingaudibleinthegallery。)

THESPEAKER:Order！order！ThehonorablememberforHazelboroughmustconfinehimselfstrictlytotheissuedraisedbythehonorablegentlemanfromWales。ThehonorablememberforHazelboroughisonlypermittedtofollowthehonorablegentlemanfromWalesbytheindulgenceoftheHouse。

MR。AYRTON:Sir，Ibowtotherulingofthechair，andwillcontinuebyinquiringifHerMajesty\'sMinisterforthePublicWorshipDepartmentcanstatetotheHouseifitistruethatanewspaperpublishedwithinthePrincipalityofWalesrecentlymadetheannouncementthatthehonorablememberwhohadjustmadeinquiriesregardingtheexplorationofMr。HerbertCourtland，wastheidolofhisconstituents[Laughter，andcriesof“Order！“]，andiftherighthonorablegentlemanispreparedtostatethattheprovisionsoftheIdolatryActare——

THESPEAKER:Thehonorablememberisclearlyoutoforder。ThequestionofidolatryinWalesisnotatpresentbeforetheHouse。

MR。AYRTON:Sir，IgivenoticethatnextsessionIshallmovearesolutionregardingidolatryinthePrincipalityofWales[Laughterandcheers。]

TheministerforAnnexationwasabouttorisewhenMR。MUDLARKY(Ballynamuck)askediftheintroductionoftheguineapigswouldbeprejudicialtotheinterestsofthehigherandnoblerIrishanimalwho，hewouldremindtheMinisterforPublicWorship，wasnottobeconfoundedwiththeherdwhoseexamplewasclearlyemulatedbythepresentgovernmentinseekingself-destructionbyrunningdownasteepplaceintothesea。(Criesof“Order，order！“)Iftherewasanydoubtbefore，thehonorablemembercontinued，astotheinfluencewhichwasatworkinthatGadareneherd，whichassumedthefunctionsofHerMajesty\'sgovernment，thesoundsthatnowcamefromtheTreasuryBencheswouldconvinceeventhemostskepticalthatsacredhistoryissometimesrepeatedbyprofane，buthecouldnotcomplimentthedevils，whohadthebadtasteto——(SeveralhonorablemembershereroseamidthecheersoftheIrishMembers，andasceneofconfusiontookplace。)

THESPEAKER[sternly]:Order，Order！ThehonorablememberfromBallynamuckmustresumehisseat。Heisoutoforder。ThequestionbeforetheHouseisnotthegoodtasteofdemoniacvisitants。Icallupontherighthonorablegentleman，theMinisterfortheDepartmentofAnnexation。

MR。McCULLUM(BlairpukeyBurghs):Mr。Speaker，onemoment。Tosavetime，willtherighthonorablegentlemansayiftheHighlandCrofters，whoselandwasstolenfromtheminorderthatthemembersoftheUpperHouse——

THESPEAKER:Order！TheMinisterfortheDepartmentofAnnexation。

MR。BLISTER(Battersea，Mid):Mr。Speaker，thoughIdon\'tdoanyworkmyself，I\'mtherepresentativeoflabor，onlythosecontemptibleskunks，theworkingmen，don\'tseethattheyhaveamanforaleader——aman，that\'sme——that\'sJoeBlister。AndastheUpperHousehasbeenintroduced，I\'llrun，eat，orswearwiththebestofthatlotoftap-

roomloafers；I\'lldoanythingbutfightthem——except，ofcourse，onalaborplatform，andif——

THESPEAKER:Thehonorablememberisoutoforder。TheMinisterfortheDepartmentofAnnexations。

THEMINISTERFORANNEXATIONS:No，sir；Ihavenoinformation[Cheersandlaughter。]

TheHousethenwentintoCommitteeofSupply。