第17章

Thereuponweexchangedafriendlygripofthehandandparted。I

neversawhimagain。Hisfatherlyargumentshadsoonconvincedme:

Iwaspreparedtoheartheblunttruth。Afewmonthsearlier，I

hadreceivedmynominationasanassistantlecturerinzoologyattheuniversityofPoitiers。Theyofferedmearidiculoussalary。

Afterpayingthecostsofmoving，Ishouldhavehadhardlythreefrancsadayleft;and，onthisincome，Ihadtokeepmyfamily，numberingseveninall。Ihastenedtodeclinetheverygreathonor。

No，scienceoughtnottopracticethesejests。Ifwehumblepersonsareofusetoher，sheshouldatleastenableustolive。

Ifshecan’tdothat，thenletherleaveustobreakstonesonthehighway。Oh，yes，Iwaspreparedforthetruthwhenthathonestfellowtalkedtomeoffrockcoatedpoverty！Iamtellingthestoryofanotverydistantpast。Sincethen，thingshaveimprovedconsiderably;but，whenthepearwasproperlyripened，Iwasnolongerofanagetopickit。

AndwhatwasItodonow，toovercomethedifficultymentionedbymyinspectorandconfirmedbymypersonalexperience？Iwouldtakeupindustrialchemistry。ThemunicipallecturesatSaintMartialplacedaspaciousandfairlywell—equippedlaboratoryatmydisposal。Whynotmakethemostofit？

ThechiefmanufactureofAvignonwasmadder。Thefarmersuppliedtherawmaterialtothefactories，whereitwasturnedintopurerandmoreconcentratedproducts。Mypredecessorhadgoneinforitanddonewellbyit，sopeoplesaid。Iwouldfollowinhisfootstepsandusethevatsandfurnaces，theexpensiveplantwhichIhadinherited。Sotowork。

WhatshouldIsetmyselftoproduce？Iproposedtoextractthecoloringsubstance，alizarin，toseparateitfromtheothermattersfoundwithitintheroot，toobtainitinthepurestateandinaformthatallowedofthedirectprintingofthestuffs，amuchquickerandmoreartisticmethodthantheolddyeingprocess。

Nothingcouldbesimplerthanthisproblem，oncethesolutionwasknown;buthowtremendouslyobscurewhileithadstilltobesolved！Idarenotcalltomindalltheimaginationandpatiencespentuponendlessendeavorswhichnothing，noteventhemadnessofthem，discouraged。Whatmightymeditationsinthesomberchurch！

Whatglowingdreams，soontobefollowedbysoredisappointment，whenexperimentspokethelastwordandupsetthescaffoldingofmyplans。Stubbornastheslaveofoldamassingapeculiumforhisenfranchisement，Iusedtoreplytothecheckofyesterdaybythefreshattemptoftomorrow，oftenasfaultyastheothers，sometimesthericherbyanimprovement，andIwentonindefatigably，forI

toocherishedtheindomitableambitiontosetmyselffree。

ShouldIsucceed？Perhapsso。Iatlasthadasatisfactoryanswer。Iobtained，inacheapandpracticalfashion，thepurecoloringmatter，concentratedinasmallvolumeandexcellentforbothprintinganddyeing。Oneofmyfriendstookupmyprocessonalargescaleinhisworks;afewcalicofactoriesadoptedtheproduceandexpressedthemselvesdelightedwithit。Thefuturesmiledatlast;apinkriftopenedinmygraysky。IshouldpossessthemodestfortunewithoutwhichImustdenymyselfthepleasureofteachinginauniversity。Freedofthetorturinganxietyaboutmydailybread，Ishouldbeabletoliveateaseamongmyinsects。

Inthemidstofthejoysofseeingtheseproblemssolvedbychemistry，yetanotherrayofsunshinewasreservedforme，addingitsgladnesstothatofmysuccess。Letusgobackacoupleofyears。Thechiefinspectorsvisitedourgrammarschool。Thesepersonagestravelinpairs:oneattendstoliterature，theothertoscience。Whentheinspectionwasoverandthebookschecked，thestaffwassummonedtotheprincipal’sdrawingroom，toreceivethepartingadmonitionsofthetwoluminaries。Themanofsciencebegan。Ishouldbesadlyputtoittorememberwhathesaid。Itwascoldprofessionalprose，madeupofsoullesswordswhichthehearerforgotoncethespeaker’sbackwasturned，wordsmerelyboringtoboth。Ihadheardenoughofthesechillysermonsinmytime;onemoreofthemcouldnothopetomakeanimpressiononme。

Theinspectorinliteraturespokenext。Atthefirstwordswhichheuttered，Isaidtomyself:’Oho！Thisisaverydifferentbusiness！’

Thespeechwasaliveandvigorousandfullofimages;indifferenttoscholasticcommonplaces，theideassoared，hoveringgentlyinthesereneheightsofakindlyphilosophy。Thistime，Ilistenedwithpleasure;Ievenfeltstirred。Herewasnoofficialhomily:

itwasfullofimpassionedzeal，ofwordsthatcarriedyouwiththem，utteredbyanhonestmanaccomplishedintheartofspeaking，anoratorinthetruesenseoftheword。Inallmyschoolexperience，Ihadneverhadsuchatreat。

Whenthemeetingbrokeup，myheartbeatfasterthanusual:’Whatapity，’Ithought，’thatmyside，thescienceside，cannotbringmeintocontact，someday，withthatinspector！Itseemstomethatweshouldbecomegreatfriends。’

Iinquiredhisnameofmycolleagues，whowerealwaysbetterinformedthanI。TheytoldmeitwasVictorDuruy。

Well，oneday，twoyearslater，asIwaslookingaftermySaintMartiallaboratoryinthemidstofthesteamfrommyvats，withmyhandsthecolorofboiledlobsterclawsfromconstantdippingintheindelibleredofmydyes，therewalkedin，unexpectedly，apersonwhosefeaturesstraightwayseemedfamiliar。Iwasright，itwastheveryman，thechiefinspectorwhosespeechhadoncestirredme。M。Duruywasnowministerofpublicinstruction。Hewasstyled，’Yourexcellency;’andthisstyle，usuallyanemptyformula，waswelldeservedinthepresentcase，forournewministerexcelledinhisexaltedfunctions。Weallheldhiminhighesteem。Hewastheworkers’minister，themanforthehumbletoiler。

’Iwanttospendmylasthalf—houratAvignonwithyou，’saidmyvisitor，withasmile。’Thatwillbearelieffromtheofficialbowingandscraping。’

Overcomebythehonorpaidme，Iapologizedformycostume——Iwasinmyshirtsleeves——andespeciallyformylobsterclaws，whichI

hadtried，foramoment，tohidebehindmyback。

’Youhavenothingtoapologizefor。Icametoseetheworker。Theworkingmanneverlooksbetterthaninhisoverall，withthemarksofhistradeonhim。Letushaveatalk。Whatareyoudoingjustnow？’

Iexplained，inafewwords，theobjectofmyresearches;Ishowedmyproduct;Iexecutedundertheminister’seyesalittleattemptatprintinginmadderred。Thesuccessoftheexperimentandthesimplicityofmyapparatus，inwhichanevaporatingdish，maintainedatboilingpointunderaglassfunnel，tooktheplaceofasteamchamber，causedhimsomesurprise。

’Iwillhelpyou，’hesaid。’Whatdoyouwantforyourlaboratory？

’

’Why，nothing，monsieurleministre，nothing！Withalittleapplication，theplantIhaveisample。’

’What，nothing！Youareuniquethere！Theothersoverwhelmmewithrequests;theirlaboratoriesareneverwellenoughsupplied。Andyou，poorasyouare，refusemyoffers！’

’No，thereisonethingwhichIwillaccept。’

’Whatisthat？’

’Thesignalhonorofshakingyoubythehand。’

’Thereyouare，myfriend，withallmyheart。Butthat’snotenough。Whatelsedoyouwant？’

’TheParisJardindesPlantesisunderyourcontrol。Shouldacrocodiledie，letthemkeepthehideforme。Iwillstuffitwithstrawandhangitfromtheceiling。Thusadorned，myworkshopwillrivalthewizard’scave。’

TheministercasthiseyesroundthenaveandglancedupattheGothicvault:’Yes，itwouldlookverywell。’Andhegavealaughatmysally。’Inowknowyouasachemist，’hecontinued。’Iknewyoualreadyasanaturalistandawriter。Ihaveheardaboutyourlittleanimals。IamsorrythatIshallhavetoleavewithoutseeingthem。Theymustwaitforanotheroccasion。Mytrainwillbestartingpresently。Walkwithmetothestation，willyou？Weshallbealoneandwecanchatabitmoreontheway。’

Westrolledalong，discussingentomologyandmadder。Myshynesshaddisappeared。Theselfsufficiencyofafoolwouldhaveleftmedumb;thefinefranknessofaloftymindputmeatmyease。Itoldhimofmyexperimentsinnaturalhistory，ofmyplansforaprofessorship，ofmyfightwithharshfate，myhopesandfears。Heencouragedme，spoketomeofabetterfuture。Wereachedthestationandwalkedupanddownoutside，talkingawaydelightfully。

Apooroldwomanpassed，allinrags，herbackbentbyageandyearsofworkinthefields。Shefurtivelyputoutherhandforalms。Duruyfeltinhiswaistcoat，foundatwofrancpieceandplaceditintheoutstretchedhand;Iwantedtoaddacoupleofsousasmycontribution，butmypocketswereempty，asusual。I

wenttothebeggarwomanandwhisperedinherear:’Doyouknowwhogaveyouthat？It’stheemperor’sminister。

Thepoorwomanstarted;andherastoundedeyeswanderedfromtheopen—handedswelltothepieceofsilverandfromthepieceofsilvertotheopen—handedswell。Whatasurprise！Whatawindfall！

’QueloubonDieuiedonelongovidoesanta，pecaire！’shesaid，inhercrackedvoice。

And，curtseyingandnodding，shewithdrew，stillstaringatthecoininthepalmofherhand。

’Whatdidshesay？’askedDuruy。

’Shewishedyoulonglifeandhealth。’

’Andpecaire？’

’Pecaireisapoeminitself:itsumsupallthegentlerpassions。’

AndImyselfmentallyrepeatedtheartlessvow。Themanwhostopssokindlywhenabeggarputsoutherhandhassomethingbetterinhissoulthanthemerequalitiesthatgotomakeaminister。

Weenteredthestation，stillalone，aspromised，andIquitewithoutmisgivings。HadIbutforeseenwhatwasgoingtohappen，howIshouldhavehastenedtotakemyleave！Littlebylittle，agroupformedinfrontofus。Itwastoolatetofly;Ihadtoscrewupmycourage。Camethegeneralofdivisionandhisofficers，cametheprefectandhissecretary，themayorandhisdeputy，theschoolinspectorandthepickofthestaff。Theministerfacedtheceremonialsemicircle。Istoodnexttohim。A

crowdononeside，wetwoontheother。Followedtheregulationspinalcontortions，theemptyobeisanceswhichmydearDuruyhadcometomylaboratorytoforget。WhenbowingtoSt。Roch，inhiscornerniche，theworshipperatthesametimesalutesthesaint’shumblecompanion。IwassomethinglikeSt。Roch’sdoginthepresenceofthosehonorswhichdidnotconcernme。Istoodandlookedon，withmyawfulredhandsconcealedbehindmyback，underthebroadbrimofmyfelthat。

Aftertheofficialcomplimentshadbeenexchanged，theconversationbegantolanguish;andtheministerseizedmyrighthandandgentlydrewitfromthemysteriousrecessesofmywideawake。

’Whydon’tyoushowthosegentlemenyourhands？’hesaid。’Mostpeoplewouldbeproudofthem。’

’Workman’shands，’saidtheprefect’ssecretary。’Regularworkman’shands。’

Thegeneral，almostscandalizedatseeingmeinsuchdistinguishedcompany，added:’Handsofadyerandcleaner。’

’Yes，workman’shands，’retortedtheminister，’andIwishyoumanylikethem。Believeme，theywilldomuchtohelpthechiefindustryofyourcity。Skilledastheyareinchemicalwork，theyareequallycapableofwieldingthepen，thepencil，thescalpelandthelens。Asyouhereseemunawareofit，Iamdelightedtoinformyou。’

Thistime，Ishouldhavelikedthegroundtoopenandswallowmeup。Fortunately，thebellrangforthetraintostart。Isaidgoodbyetotheministerand，hurriedlytakingtoflight，lefthimlaughingatthetrickwhichhehadplayedme。

Theincidentwasnoisedabout，couldnothelpbeingso，fortheperistyleofarailwaystationkeepsnosecrets。Ithenlearnedtowhatannoyancestheshadowofthegreatexposesus。Iwaslookeduponasaninfluentialperson，havingthefavorofthegodsatmydisposal。Placehuntersandcanvasserstormentedme。Onewantedalicensetoselltobaccoandstamps，anotherascholarshipforhisson，anotheranincreaseofhispension。IhadonlytoaskandI

shouldobtain，saidthey。

Osimplepeople，whatanillusionwasyours！Youcouldnothavehituponaworseintermediary。Ifiguringasapostulant！Ihavemanyfaults，Iadmit，butthatiscertainlynotoneofthem。IgotridoftheimportunatepeopleasbestIcould，thoughtheywereutterlyunabletofathommyreserve。Whatwouldtheyhavesaidhadtheyknownoftheminister’sofferswithregardtomylaboratoryandmyjestingreply，inwhichIaskedforacrocodileskintohangfrommyceiling！Theywouldhavetakenmeforanidiot。

Sixmonthselapsed;andIreceivedalettersummoningmetocallupontheministerathisoffice。IsuspectedaproposaltopromotemetoamoreimportantgrammarschoolandwrotebeggingthatI

mightbeleftwhereIwas，amongmyvatsandmyinsects。Asecondletterarrived，morepressingthanthefirstandsignedbytheminister’sownhand。Thislettersaid:’Comeatonce，orIshallsendmygendarmestofetchyou。’

Therewasnowayoutofit。Twenty—fourhourslater，IwasinM。

Duruy’sroom。Hewelcomedmewithexquisitecordiality，gavemehishandand，takingupanumberoftheMoniteur:’Readthat，’hesaid。’Yourefusedmychemicalapparatus;butyouwon’trefusethis。

Ilookedatthelinetowhichhisfingerpointed。IreadmynameinthelistoftheLegionofHonor。Quitestupidwithsurprise，I

stammeredthefirstwordsofthanksthatenteredmyhead。

’Comehere，’saidhe，’andletmegiveyoutheaccolade。Iwillbeyoursponsor。Youwillliketheceremonyallthebetterifitisheldinprivate，betweenyouandme:Iknowyou！’

Hepinnedtheredribbontomycoat，kissedmeonbothcheeks，mademetelegraphthegreateventtomyfamily。Whatamorning，spentwiththatgoodman！

Iwellknowthevanityofdecorativeribbonryandtinware，especiallywhen，astoooftenhappens，intriguedegradesthehonorconferred;but，comingasitdid，thatbitofribbonisprecioustome。Itisarelic，notanobjectforshow。Ikeepitreligiouslyinadrawer。

Therewasaparcelofbigbooksonthetab1eacollectionofthereportsontheprogressofsciencedrawnupfortheInternationalExhibitionof1867，whichhadjustclosed。

’Thosebooksareforyou，’continuedtheminister。’Takethemwithyou。Youcanlookthroughthematyourleisure:theymayinterestyou。Thereissomethingaboutyourinsectsinthem。You’retohavethistoo:itwillpayforyourjourney。ThetripwhichImadeyoutakemustnotbeatyourownexpense。Ifthereisanythingover，spenditonyourlaboratory。’

Andhehandedmearolloftwelvehundredfrancs。InvainI

refused，remarkingthatmyjourneywasnotsoburdensomeasallthat;besides，hisembraceandhisbitofribbonwereofinestimablevaluecomparedwithmydisbursements。Heinsisted:

’Takeit，’hesaid，’orIshallbeveryangry。There’ssomethingelse:youmustcometotheemperor’swithmetomorrow，tothereceptionofthelearnedsocieties。’

Seeingmegreatlyperplexedandasthoughdemoralizedbytheprospectofanimperialinterview:’Don’ttrytoescapeme，’hesaid，’orlookoutforthegendarmesofmyletter！Yousawthefellowsinthebearskincapsonyourwayup。Mindyoudon’tfallintotheirhands。Inanycase，lestyoushouldbetemptedtorunaway，wewillgototheTuileriestogether，inmycarriage。’

Thingshappenedashewished。Thenextday，intheminister’scompany，IwasusheredintoalittledrawingroomattheTuileriesbychamberlainsinkneebreechesandsilver—buckledshoes。Theywerequeerpeopletolookat。Theiruniformsandtheirstiffgaitgavethemtheappearance，inmyeyes，ofbeetleswho，bywayofwingcases，woreagreat，gold—laceddresscoat，withakeyinthesmalloftheback。Therewerealreadyascoreofpersonsfromallpartswaitingintheroom。Theseincludedgeographicalexplorers，botanists，geologists，antiquaries，archeologists，collectorsofprehistoricflints，inshort，theusualrepresentativesofprovincialscientificlife。

Theemperorentered，verysimplydressed，withnoparadeabouthimbeyondawide，red，wateredsilkribbonacrosshischest。Nosignofmajesty，anordinaryman，roundandplump，withalargemoustacheandapairofhalf—closed，drowsyeyelids。Hemovedfromonetotheother，talkingtoeachofusforamomentastheministermentionedournamesandthenatureofouroccupations。HeshowedafairamountofinformationashechangedhissubjectfromtheicefloesofSpitzbergentothedunesofGascony，fromaCarlovingianchartertothefloraoftheSahara，fromtheprogressinbeetrootgrowingtoCaesar’strenchesbeforeAlesia。Whenmyturncame，hequestionedmeuponthehypermetamorphosisoftheMeloidae[abeetlefamilyincludingtheoilbeetleandtheSpanishfly]，mylastessayinentomology。IansweredasbestIcould，flounderingalittleinthepropermodeofaddress，mixinguptheeverydaymonsieurwithsire，awordwhoseusewassoentirelynewtome。Ipassedthroughthedreadstraitsandotherssucceededme。

Myfiveminutes’conversationwithanimperialmajestywas，theytellme，amostdistinguishedhonor。Iamquitereadytobelievethem，butIneverhadadesiretorepeatit。

Thereceptioncametoanend，bowswereexchangedandweweredismissed。Aluncheonawaitedusattheminister’shouse。Isatonhisright，notalittleembarrassedbytheprivilege;onhisleftwasaphysiologistofgreatrenown。Liketheothers，Ispokeofallmannerofthings，includingevenAvignonBridge。Duruy’sson，sittingoppositeme，chaffedmepleasantlyaboutthefamousbridgeonwhicheverybodydances;hesmiledatmyimpatiencetogetbacktothethyme—scentedhillsandthegrayoliveyardsrichinGrasshoppers。

’What！’saidhisfather。’Won’tyouvisitourmuseums，ourcollections？Therearesomeveryinterestingthingsthere。’

’Iknow，monsieurleministre，butIshallfindbetterthings，thingsmoretomytaste，intheincomparablemuseumofthefields。’

’Thenwhatdoyouproposetodo？’

’Iproposetogobacktomorrow。

Ididgoback，IhadhadenoughofParis:neverhadIfeltsuchtorturesoflonelinessasinthatimmensewhirlofhumanity。Togetaway，togetawaywasmyoneidea。

Oncehomeamongmyfamily，Ifeltamightyloadoffmymindandagreatjoyinmyheart，whererangapealofbellsproclaimingthedelightsofmyapproachingemancipation。Littlebylittle，thefactorythatwastosetmefreeroseskywards，fullofpromises。

Yes，Ishouldpossessthemodestincomewhichwouldcrownmyambitionbyallowingmetodescantonanimalsandplantsinauniversitychair。

’Well，no，’saidFate，’youshallnotacquirethefreedman’speculium;youshallremainaslave，draggingyourchainbehindyou;

yourpealofbellsringsfalse！’

Hardlywasthefactoryinfullswingwhenapieceofnewswasbruited，atfirstavaguerumor，anechoofprobabilitiesratherthancertainties，andthenapositivestatementleavingnoroomfordoubt。Chemistryhadobtainedthemadderdyebyartificialmeans;

thankstoalaboratoryconcoction，itwasutterlyoverthrowingtheagricultureandindustriesofmydistrict。Thisresult，whiledestroyingmyworkandmyhopes，didnotsurprisemeunduly。I

myselfhadtoyedwiththeproblemofartificialalizarinandIknewenoughaboutittoforeseethat，innoverydistantfuture，theworkofthechemist’sretortwouldtaketheplaceoftheworkofthefields。

Itwasfinished;myhopesweredashedtotheground。Whattodonext？LetuschangeourleverandbegintorollSisyphus’stoneoncemore。Letustrytodrawfromtheinkpotwhatthemaddervatdeclinestoyield。Laboremus！