第7章

"Thewife——Imetheronce：shewasthemostbeautifulwomanIhaveeverseen，andthemostwicked—looking；whichissayingagooddealforbothstatements。Iremember，duringawalkingtouroneyear，comingacrossalovelylittlecottage。Itwasthesweetestplaceimaginable。Ineednotdescribeit。Itwasthecottageoneseesinpictures，andreadsofinsentimentalpoetry。Iwasleaningovertheneatly—croppedhedge，drinkinginitsbeauty，whenatoneofthetinycasementsIsaw，lookingoutatme，aface。Itstayedthereonlyamoment，butinthatmomentthecottagehadbecomeugly，andI

hurriedawaywithashudder。

"Thatwoman’sfaceremindedmeoftheincident。Itwasanangel’sface，untilthewomanherselflookedoutofit：thenyouwerestruckbythestrangeincongruitybetweentenementandtenant。

"Thatatonetimeshehadlovedherhusband，Ihavelittledoubt。

Viciouswomenhavefewvices，andsordidnessisnotusuallyoneofthem。Shehadprobablymarriedhim，bornetowardshimbyoneofthosewavesofpassionuponwhichthesoulsofanimalnaturesarecontinuallyrisingandfalling。Onpossession，however，hadquicklyfollowedsatiety，andfromsatietyhadgrownthedesireforanewsensation。

"TheywerelivingatCairoattheperiod；herhusbandheldanimportantofficialpositionthere，andbyvirtueofthis，andofherownbeautyandtact，herhousesoonbecamethecentreoftheAnglo—

Saxonsocietyeverdriftinginandoutofthecity。Thewomendislikedher，andcopiedher。Themenspokeslightinglyofhertotheirwives，lightlyofhertoeachother，andmadeidiotsofthemselveswhentheywerealonewithher。Shelaughedatthemtotheirfaces，andmimickedthembehindtheirbacks。Theirfriendssaiditwasclever。

"OneyeartherearrivedayoungEnglishengineer，whohadcomeouttosuperintendsomecanalworks。Hebroughtwithhimsatisfactorylettersofrecommendation，andwasatoncereceivedbytheEuropeanresidentsasawelcomeadditiontotheirsocialcircle。Hewasnotparticularlygood—looking，hewasnotremarkablycharming，buthepossessedtheonethingthatfewwomencanresistinaman，andthatisstrength。Thewomanlookedattheman，andthemanlookedbackatthewoman；andthedramabegan。

"Scandalfliesswiftlythroughsmallcommunities。Beforeamonth，theirrelationshipwasthechieftopicofconversationthroughoutthequarter。Inlessthantwo，itreachedtheearsofthewoman’shusband。

"Hewaseitheranexceptionallymeanoranexceptionallynoblecharacter，accordingtohowoneviewsthematter。Heworshippedhiswife——asmenwithbigheartsandweakbrainsoftendoworshipsuchwomen——withdog—likedevotion。Hisonlydreadwaslestthescandalshouldreachproportionsthatwouldcompelhimtotakenoticeofit，andthusbringshameandsufferinguponthewomantowhomhewouldhavegivenhislife。Thatamanwhosawhershouldloveherseemednaturaltohim；thatsheshouldhavegrowntiredofhimself，athingnottobewonderedat。Hewasgratefultoherforhavingoncelovedhim，foralittlewhile。

"Asfor’theotherman，’heprovedsomewhatofanenigmatothegossips。Heattemptednosecrecy；ifanything，heratherparadedhissubjugation——orhisconquest，itwasdifficulttodecidewhichtermtoapply。Herodeanddrovewithher；visitedherinpublicandinprivate（insuchprivacyascanbehopedforinahousefilledwithchatteringservants，andwatchedbyspyingeyes）；loadedherwithexpensivepresents，whichsheworeopenly，andpaperedhissmoking—denwithherphotographs。Yetheneverallowedhimselftoappearintheleastdegreeridiculous；neverallowedhertocomebetweenhimandhiswork。Aletterfromher，hewouldlayasideunopeneduntilhehadfinishedwhatheevidentlyregardedasmoreimportantbusiness。Whenboudoirandengine—shedbecamerivals，itwastheboudoirthathadtowait。

"Thewomanchafedunderhisself—control，whichstungherlikealash，butclungtohimthemoreabjectly。

"’Tellmeyouloveme！’shewouldcryfiercely，stretchingherwhitearmstowardshim。

"’Ihavetoldyouso，’hewouldreplycalmly，withoutmoving。

"’Iwanttohearyoutellitmeagain，’shewouldpleadwithavoicethattrembledonasob。’Comeclosetomeandtellitmeagain，again，again！’

"Then，asshelaywithhalf—closedeyes，hewouldpourforthafloodofpassionatewordssufficienttosatisfyevenherthirstyears，andafterwards，asthegatesclangedbehindhim，wouldtakeupanengineeringproblemattheexactpointatwhichhalfanhourbefore，onherentranceintotheroom，hehadtemporarilydismissedit。

"Oneday，aprivilegedfriendputbluntlytohimthisquestion：

’Areyouplayingforloveorvanity？’

"Towhichtheman，afterlongpondering，gavethisreply：’’Ponmysoul，Jack，Icouldn’ttellyou。’

"Now，whenamanisinlovewithawomanwhocannotmakeuphermindwhethersheloveshimornot，wecallthecomplicationcomedy；whereitisthewomanwhoisinearnesttheresultisgenerallytragedy。

"Theycontinuedtomeetandtomakelove。Theytalked——aspeopleintheirpositionarepronetotalk——ofthebeautifullifetheywouldleadifitonlywerenotforthethingthatwas；oftheearthlyparadise——or，maybe，’earthy’wouldbethemoresuitableadjective——

theywouldeachcreatefortheother，ifonlytheyhadtherightwhichtheyhadn’t。

"Inthisworkofimaginationthemantrustedchieflytohisliteraryfaculties，whichwereconsiderable；thewomantoherdesires。Thus，hisscenespossessedagraceandfinishwhichherslacked，butherpictureswerethemorevivid。Indeed，sorealisticdidshepaintthem，thattoherselftheyseemedrealities，waitingforher。Thenshewouldrisetogotowardsthemonlytostrikeherselfagainstthethoughtofthethingthatstoodbetweenherandthem。Atfirstsheonlyhatedthething，butafterawhiletherecameanuglylookofhopeintohereyes。

"ThetimedrewnearforthemantoreturntoEngland。Thecanalwascompleted，andadayappointedforthelettinginofthewater。Themandeterminedtomaketheeventtheoccasionofasocialgathering。

Heinvitedalargenumberofguests，amongwhomwerethewomanandherhusband，toassistatthefunction。Afterwardsthepartyweretopicnicatapleasantwoodedspotsomethree—quartersofamilefromthefirstlock。

"Theceremonyoffloodingwastobeperformedbythewoman，herhusband’spositionentitlinghertothisdistinction。Betweentheriverandtheheadofthecuttinghadbeenleftastrongbankofearth，piercedsomedistancedownbyahole，whichholewaskeptclosedbymeansofaclosely—fittingsteelplate。Thewomandrewtheleverreleasingthisplate，andthewaterrushedthroughandbegantopressagainstthelockgates。Whenithadattainedacertaindepth，thesluiceswereraised，andthewaterpoureddownintothedeepbasinofthelock。

"Itwasanexceptionallydeeplock。Thepartygatheredroundandwatchedthewaterslowlyrising。Thewomanlookeddown，andshuddered；themanwasstandingbyherside。

"’Howdeepitis，’shesaid。

"’Yes，’hereplied，’itholdsthirtyfeetofwater，whenfull。’

"Thewatercreptupinchbyinch。

"’Whydon’tyouopenthegates，andletitinquickly？’sheasked。

"’Itwouldnotdoforittocomeintooquickly，’heexplained；’weshallhalffillthislock，andthenopenthesluicesattheotherend，andsoletthewaterpassthrough。’

"Thewomanlookedatthesmoothstonewallsandattheiron—platedgates。

"’Iwonderwhatamanwoulddo，’shesaid，’ifhefellin，andtherewasnooneneartohelphim？’

"Themanlaughed。’Ithinkhewouldstopthere，’heanswered。

’Come，theothersarewaitingforus。’

"Helingeredamomenttogivesomefinalinstructionstotheworkmen。’Youcanfollowonwhenyou’vemadeallright，’hesaid，’andgetsomethingtoeat。There’snoneedformorethanonetostop。’Thentheyjoinedtherestoftheparty，andsaunteredon，laughingandtalking，tothepicnicground。

Afterlunchthepartybrokeup，asisthecustomofpicnicparties，andwanderedawayingroupsandpairs。Theman，whosedutyashosthadhithertooccupiedallhisattention，lookedforthewoman，butshewasgone。

"Afriendstrolledby，thesamethathadputthequestiontohimaboutloveandvanity。

"’Haveyouquarrelled？’askedthefriend。

"’No，’repliedtheman。

"’Ifanciedyouhad，’saidtheother。’Imetherjustnowwalkingwithherhusband，ofallmenintheworld，andmakingherselfquiteagreeabletohim。’

"Thefriendstrolledon，andthemansatdownonafallentree，andlightedacigar。Hesmokedandthought，andthecigarburntout，buthestillsatthinking。

"Afterawhileheheardafaintrustlingofthebranchesbehindhim，andpeeringbetweentheinterlacingleavesthathidhim，sawthecrouchingfigureofthewomancreepingthroughthewood。

"Hislipswerepartedtocallhername，whensheturnedherlisteningheadinhisdirection，andhiseyesfellfulluponherface。Somethingaboutit，hecouldnothavetoldwhat，struckhimdumb，andthewomancrepton。

"Graduallythenebulousthoughtsfloatingthroughhisbrainbegantosolidifyintoatangibleidea，andthemanunconsciouslystartedforward。Afterwalkingafewstepshebrokeintoarun，fortheideahadgrownclearer。Itcontinuedtogrowstillclearerandclearer，andthemanranfasterandfaster，untilatlasthefoundhimselfracingmadlytowardsthelock。Asheapproachedithelookedroundforthewatchmanwhooughttohavebeenthere，butthemanwasgonefromhispost。Heshouted，butifanyanswerwasreturned，itwasdrownedbytheroaroftherushingwater。

"Hereachedtheedgeandlookeddown。Fifteenfeetbelowhimwastherealityofthedimvisionthathadcometohimamilebackinthewoods：thewoman’shusbandswimmingroundandroundlikearatinapail。

"Theriverwasflowinginandoutofthelockatthesamerate，sothatthelevelofthewaterremainedconstant。Thefirstthingthemandidwastoclosethelowersluicesandthenopenthoseintheuppergatetotheirfullestextent。Thewaterbegantorise。

"’Canyouholdout？’hecried。

"Thedrowningmanturnedtohimafacealreadycontortedbytheagonyofexhaustion，andansweredwithafeeble’No。’

"Helookedaroundforsomethingtothrowtotheman。Aplankhadlainthereinthemorning，herememberedstumblingoverit，andcomplainingofitshavingbeenleftthere；hecursedhimselfnowforhiscare。

"Ahutusedbythenavviestokeeptheirtoolsinstoodabouttwohundredyardsaway；perhapsithadbeentakenthere，perhapstherehemightevenfindarope。

"’Justoneminute，oldfellow！’heshouteddown，’andI’llbeback。’

"Buttheotherdidnothearhim。Thefeeblestrugglesceased。Thefacefellbackuponthewater，theeyeshalfclosedasifwithwearyindifference。Therewasnotimeforhimtodomorethankickoffhisridingbootsandjumpinandclutchtheunconsciousfigureasitsank。

"Downthere，inthatwalled—intrap，hefoughtalongfightwithDeathforthelifethatstoodbetweenhimandthewoman。Hewasnotanexpertswimmer，hisclotheshamperedhim，hewasalreadyblownwithhislongrace，theburdeninhisarmsdraggedhimdown，thewaterroseslowlyenoughtomakehistorturefitforDante’shell。

"Atfirsthecouldnotunderstandwhythiswasso，butinglancingdownhesawtohishorrorthathehadnotproperlyclosedthelowersluices；ineachsomeeightorteninchesremainedopen，sothatthestreamwaspassingoutnearlyhalfasfastasitcamein。Itwouldbeanotherfive—and—twentyminutesbeforethewaterwouldbehighenoughforhimtograspthetop。

"Henotedwherethelineofwethadreachedto，onthesmoothstonewall，thenlookedagainafterwhathethoughtmustbealapseoftenminutes，andfoundithadrisenhalfaninch，ifthat。Onceortwiceheshoutedforhelp，buttheefforttaxedseverelyhisalreadyfailingbreath，andhisvoiceonlycamebacktohiminahundredechoesfromhisprisonwalls。

"Inchbyinchthelineofwetcreptup，butthespendingofhisstrengthwentonmoreswiftly。Itseemedtohimasifhisinsidewerebeinggrippedandtornslowlyout：hiswholebodycriedouttohimtoletitsinkandlieinrestatthebottom。

"Atlengthhisunconsciousburdenopeneditseyesandstaredathimstupidly，thenclosedthemagainwithasigh；aminutelateropenedthemoncemore，andlookedlongandhardathim。

"’Letmego，’hesaid，’weshallbothdrown。Youcanmanagebyyourself。’

"Hemadeafeebleefforttoreleasehimself，buttheotherheldhim。

"’Keepstill，youfool！’hehissed；’you’regoingtogetoutofthiswithme，orI’mgoingdownwithyou。’

"Sothegrimstrugglewentoninsilence，tilltheman，lookingup，sawthestonecopingjustalittlewayabovehishead，madeonemadleapandcaughtitwithhisfinger—tips，heldonaninstant，thenfellbackwitha’plump’andsank；cameupandmadeanotherdash，and，helpedbytheimpetusofhisrise，caughtthecopingfirmlythistimewiththewholeofhisfingers，hungontillhiseyessawthestuntedgrass，tilltheywerebothabletoscrambleoutuponthebankandliethere，theirbreastspressedcloseagainsttheground，theirhandsclutchingtheearth，whiletheoverflowingwaterswirledsoftlyroundthem。

"Afterawhile，theyraisedthemselvesandlookedatoneanother。

"’Tiringwork，’saidtheotherman，withanodtowardsthelock。

"’Yes，’answeredthehusband，’beastlyawkwardnotbeingagoodswimmer。HowdidyouknowIhadfallenin？Youmetmywife，I

suppose？’

"’Yes，’saidtheotherman。

"Thehusbandsatstaringatapointinthehorizonforsomeminutes。

’DoyouknowwhatIwaswonderingthismorning？’saidhe。

"’No，’saidtheotherman。

"’WhetherIshouldkillyouornot。’

"’Theytoldme，’hecontinued，afterapause，’alotofsillygossipwhichIwascadenoughtobelieve。Iknownowitwasn’ttrue，because——well，ifithadbeen，youwouldnothavedonewhatyouhavedone。’

"Heroseandcameacross。’Ibegyourpardon，’hesaid，holdingouthishand。

"’Ibegyours，’saidtheotherman，risingandtakingit；’doyoumindgivingmeahandwiththesluices？’

"Theysettoworktoputthelockright。

"’Howdidyoumanagetofallin？’askedtheotherman，whowasraisingoneofthelowersluices，withoutlookinground。

"Thehusbandhesitated，asifhefoundtheexplanationsomewhatdifficult。’Oh，’heansweredcarelessly，’thewifeandIwerechaffing，andshesaidshe’doftenseenyoujumpit，and’——helaughedaratherforcedlaugh——’shepromisedmea——akissifI

clearedit。Itwasafoolishthingtodo。’

"’Yes，itwasrather，’saidtheotherman。

"Afewdaysafterwardsthemanandwomanmetatareception。Hefoundherinaleafycornerofthegardentalkingtosomefriends。

Sheadvancedtomeethim，holdingoutherhand。’WhatcanIsaymorethanthankyou？’shemurmuredinalowvoice。

"Theothersmovedaway，leavingthemalone。’Theytellmeyouriskedyourlifetosavehis？’shesaid。

"’Yes，’heanswered。

"Sheraisedhereyestohis，thenstruckhimacrossthefacewithherunglovedhand。

"’Youdamnedfool！’shewhispered。

"Heseizedherbyherwhitearms，andforcedherbackbehindtheorangetrees。’Doyouknowwhy？’hesaid，speakingslowlyanddistinctly；’becauseIfearedthat，withhimdead，youwouldwantmetomarryyou，andthat，talkedaboutaswehavebeen，Imightfinditawkwardtoavoiddoingso；becauseIfearedthat，withouthimtostandbetweenus，youmightproveanannoyancetome——perhapscomebetweenmeandthewomanIlove，thewomanIamgoingbackto。Nowdoyouunderstand？’

"’Yes，’whisperedthewoman，andhelefther。

"Butthereareonlytwopeople，"concludedJephson，"whodonotregardhissavingofthehusband’slifeasahighlynobleandunselfishaction，andtheyarethemanhimselfandthewoman。"

WethankedJephsonforhisstory，andpromisedtoprofitbythemoral，whendiscovered。Meanwhile，MacShaughnassysaidthatheknewastorydealingwiththesametheme，namely，thetoocloseattachmentofawomantoastrangeman，whichreallyhadamoral，whichmoralwas：don’thaveanythingtodowithinventions。

Brown，whohadpatentedasafetygun，whichhehadneveryetfoundamanpluckyenoughtoletoff，saiditwasabadmoral。Weagreedtoheartheparticulars，andjudgeforourselves。

"Thisstory，"commencedMacShaughnassy，"comesfromFurtwangen，asmalltownintheBlackForest。TherelivedthereaverywonderfuloldfellownamedNicholausGeibel。Hisbusinesswasthemakingofmechanicaltoys，atwhichworkhehadacquiredanalmostEuropeanreputation。Hemaderabbitsthatwouldemergefromtheheartofacabbage，flaptheirears，smooththeirwhiskers，anddisappearagain；catsthatwouldwashtheirfaces，andmewsonaturallythatdogswouldmistakethemforrealcats，andflyatthem；dolls，withphonographsconcealedwithinthem，thatwouldraisetheirhatsandsay，’Goodmorning；howdoyoudo？’andsomethatwouldevensingasong。

"Buthewassomethingmorethanameremechanic；hewasanartist。

Hisworkwaswithhimahobby，almostapassion。Hisshopwasfilledwithallmannerofstrangethingsthatneverwould，orcould，besold——thingshehadmadeforthepureloveofmakingthem。Hehadcontrivedamechanicaldonkeythatwouldtrotfortwohoursbymeansofstoredelectricity，andtrot，too，muchfasterthanthelivearticle，andwithlessneedforexertiononthepartofthedriver；abirdthatwouldshootupintotheair，flyroundandroundinacircle，anddroptoearthattheexactspotfromwhereitstarted；askeletonthat，supportedbyanuprightironbar，woulddanceahornpipe；alife—sizeladydollthatcouldplaythefiddle；

andagentlemanwithahollowinsidewhocouldsmokeapipeanddrinkmorelagerbeerthananythreeaverageGermanstudentsputtogether，whichissayingmuch。

"Indeed，itwasthebeliefofthetownthatoldGeibelcouldmakeamancapableofdoingeverythingthatarespectablemanneedwanttodo。Onedayhemadeamanwhodidtoomuch，anditcameaboutinthisway。

"YoungDoctorFollenhadababy，andthebabyhadabirthday。ItsfirstbirthdayputDoctorFollen’shouseholdintosomewhatofaflurry，butontheoccasionofitssecondbirthday，Mrs。DoctorFollengaveaballinhonouroftheevent。OldGeibelandhisdaughterOlgawereamongtheguests。

"Duringtheafternoonofthenextday，somethreeorfourofOlga’sbosomfriends，whohadalsobeenpresentattheball，droppedintohaveachataboutit。Theynaturallyfelltodiscussingthemen，andtocriticisingtheirdancing。OldGeibelwasintheroom，butheappearedtobeabsorbedinhisnewspaper，andthegirlstooknonoticeofhim。

"’Thereseemtobefewermenwhocandance，ateveryballyougoto，’saidoneofthegirls。

"’Yes，anddon’ttheoneswhocan，givethemselvesairs，’saidanother；’theymakequiteafavourofaskingyou。’

"’Andhowstupidlytheytalk，’addedathird。’Theyalwayssayexactlythesamethings："Howcharmingyouarelookingto—night。"

"DoyouoftengotoVienna？Oh，youshould，it’sdelightful。"

"Whatacharmingdressyouhaveon。""Whatawarmdayithasbeen。"

"DoyoulikeWagner？"Idowishthey’dthinkofsomethingnew。’

"’Oh，Inevermindhowtheytalk，’saidafourth。’IfamandanceswellhemaybeafoolforallIcare。’

"’Hegenerallyis，’slippedinathingirl，ratherspitefully。

"’Igotoaballtodance，’continuedthepreviousspeaker，notnoticingtheinterruption。’AllIaskofapartneristhatheshallholdmefirmly，takemeroundsteadily，andnotgettiredbeforeI

do。’

"’Aclockworkfigurewouldbethethingforyou，’saidthegirlwhohadinterrupted。

"’Bravo！’criedoneoftheothers，clappingherhands，’whatacapitalidea！’

"’What’sacapitalidea？’theyasked。

"’Why，aclockworkdancer，or，betterstill，onethatwouldgobyelectricityandneverrundown。’

"Thegirlstookuptheideawithenthusiasm。

"’Oh，whatalovelypartnerhewouldmake，’saidone；’hewouldneverkickyou，ortreadonyourtoes。’

"’Ortearyourdress，’saidanother。

"’Orgetoutofstep。’

"’Orgetgiddyandleanonyou。’

"’Andhewouldneverwanttomophisfacewithhishandkerchief。I

dohatetoseeamandothataftereverydance。’

"’Andwouldn’twanttospendthewholeeveninginthesupper—room。’

"’Why，withaphonographinsidehimtogrindoutallthestockremarks，youwouldnotbeabletotellhimfromarealman，’saidthegirlwhohadfirstsuggestedtheidea。

"’Ohyes，youwould，’saidthethingirl，’hewouldbesomuchnicer。’

"OldGeibelhadlaiddownhispaper，andwaslisteningwithbothhisears。Ononeofthegirlsglancinginhisdirection，however，hehurriedlyhidhimselfagainbehindit。

"Afterthegirlsweregone，hewentintohisworkshop，whereOlgaheardhimwalkingupanddown，andeverynowandthenchucklingtohimself；andthatnighthetalkedtoheragooddealaboutdancinganddancingmen——askedwhattheyusuallysaidanddid——whatdancesweremostpopular——whatstepsweregonethrough，withmanyotherquestionsbearingonthesubject。

"Thenforacoupleofweekshekeptmuchtohisfactory，andwasverythoughtfulandbusy，thoughproneatunexpectedmomentstobreakintoaquietlowlaugh，asifenjoyingajokethatnobodyelseknewof。

"AmonthlateranotherballtookplaceinFurtwangen。OnthisoccasionitwasgivenbyoldWenzel，thewealthytimbermerchant，tocelebratehisniece’sbetrothal，andGeibelandhisdaughterwereagainamongtheinvited。

"Whenthehourarrivedtosetout，Olgasoughtherfather。Notfindinghiminthehouse，shetappedatthedoorofhisworkshop。

Heappearedinhisshirt—sleeves，lookinghot，butradiant。

"’Don’twaitforme，’hesaid，’yougoon，I’llfollowyou。I’vegotsomethingtofinish。’

"Assheturnedtoobeyhecalledafterher，’TellthemI’mgoingtobringayoungmanwithme——suchaniceyoungman，andanexcellentdancer。Allthegirlswilllikehim。’Thenhelaughedandclosedthedoor。

"Herfathergenerallykepthisdoingssecretfromeverybody，butshehadaprettyshrewdsuspicionofwhathehadbeenplanning，andso，toacertainextent，wasabletopreparetheguestsforwhatwascoming。Anticipationranhigh，andthearrivalofthefamousmechanistwaseagerlyawaited。

"Atlengththesoundofwheelswasheardoutside，followedbyagreatcommotioninthepassage，andoldWenzelhimself，hisjollyfaceredwithexcitementandsuppressedlaughter，burstintotheroomandannouncedinstentoriantones：

"’HerrGeibel——andafriend。’

"HerrGeibelandhis’friend’entered，greetedwithshoutsoflaughterandapplause，andadvancedtothecentreoftheroom。

"’Allowme，ladiesandgentlemen，’saidHerrGeibel，’tointroduceyoutomyfriend，LieutenantFritz。Fritz，mydearfellow，bowtotheladiesandgentlemen。’

"GeibelplacedhishandencouraginglyonFritz’sshoulder，andthelieutenantbowedlow，accompanyingtheactionwithaharshclickingnoiseinhisthroat，unpleasantlysuggestiveofadeathrattle。Butthatwasonlyadetail。

"’Hewalksalittlestiffly’（oldGeibeltookhisarmandwalkedhimforwardafewsteps。Hecertainlydidwalkstiffly），’butthen，walkingisnothisforte。Heisessentiallyadancingman。Ihaveonlybeenabletoteachhimthewaltzasyet，butatthatheisfaultless。Come，whichofyouladiesmayIintroducehimto，asapartner？Hekeepsperfecttime；henevergetstired；hewon’tkickyouortreadonyourdress；hewillholdyouasfirmlyasyoulike，andgoasquicklyorasslowlyasyouplease；henevergetsgiddy；

andheisfullofconversation。Come，speakupforyourself，myboy。’

"Theoldgentlemantwistedoneofthebuttonsofhiscoat，andimmediatelyFritzopenedhismouth，andinthintonesthatappearedtoproceedfromthebackofhishead，remarkedsuddenly，’MayIhavethepleasure？’andthenshuthismouthagainwithasnap。

"ThatLieutenantFritzhadmadeastrongimpressiononthecompanywasundoubted，yetnoneofthegirlsseemedinclinedtodancewithhim。Theylookedaskanceathiswaxenface，withitsstaringeyesandfixedsmile，andshuddered。AtlastoldGeibelcametothegirlwhohadconceivedtheidea。

"’Itisyourownsuggestion，carriedouttotheletter，’saidGeibel，’anelectricdancer。Youoweittothegentlemantogivehimatrial。’

"Shewasabrightsaucylittlegirl，fondofafrolic。Herhostaddedhisentreaties，andsheconsented。

"HerrGeibelfixedthefiguretoher。Itsrightarmwasscrewedroundherwaist，andheldherfirmly；itsdelicatelyjointedlefthandwasmadetofastenitselfuponherright。Theoldtoymakershowedherhowtoregulateitsspeed，andhowtostopit，andreleaseherself。

"’Itwilltakeyouroundinacompletecircle，’heexplained；’becarefulthatnooneknocksagainstyou，andaltersitscourse。’

"Themusicstruckup。OldGeibelputthecurrentinmotion，andAnnetteandherstrangepartnerbegantodance。

"Forawhileeveryonestoodwatchingthem。Thefigureperformeditspurposeadmirably。Keepingperfecttimeandstep，andholdingitslittlepartnertightlyclaspedinanunyieldingembrace，itrevolvedsteadily，pouringforthatthesametimeaconstantflowofsqueakyconversation，brokenbybriefintervalsofgrindingsilence。

"’Howcharmingyouarelookingto—night，’itremarkedinitsthin，far—awayvoice。’Whatalovelydayithasbeen。Doyoulikedancing？Howwellourstepsagree。Youwillgivemeanother，won’tyou？Oh，don’tbesocruel。Whatacharminggownyouhaveon。

Isn’twaltzingdelightful？Icouldgoondancingforever——withyou。Haveyouhadsupper？’

"Asshegrewmorefamiliarwiththeuncannycreature，thegirl’snervousnessworeoff，andsheenteredintothefunofthething"’Oh，he’sjustlovely，’shecried，laughing，’Icouldgoondancingwithhimallmylife。’

"Coupleaftercouplenowjoinedthem，andsoonallthedancersintheroomwerewhirlingroundbehindthem。NicholausGeibelstoodlookingon，beamingwithchildishdelightathissuccess，"OldWenzelapproachedhim，andwhisperedsomethinginhisear。

Geibellaughedandnodded，andthetwoworkedtheirwayquietlytowardsthedoor。

"’Thisistheyoungpeople’shouseto—night，’saidWenzel，assoonastheywereoutside；’youandIwillhaveaquietpipeandaglassofhock，overinthecounting—house。’

"Meanwhilethedancinggrewmorefastandfurious。LittleAnnetteloosenedthescrewregulatingherpartner’srateofprogress，andthefigureflewroundwithherswifterandswifter。Coupleaftercoupledroppedoutexhausted，buttheyonlywentthefaster，tillatlengththeyweretheonlypairleftdancing。

"Madderandmadderbecamethewaltz。Themusiclaggedbehind：themusicians，unabletokeeppace，ceased，andsatstaring。Theyoungerguestsapplauded，buttheolderfacesbegantogrowanxious。

"’Hadn’tyoubetterstop，dear，’saidoneofthewomen，’You’llmakeyourselfsotired。’

"ButAnnettedidnotanswer。

"’Ibelieveshe’sfainted，’criedoutagirl，whohadcaughtsightofherfaceasitwassweptby。

"Oneofthemensprangforwardandclutchedatthefigure，butitsimpetusthrewhimdownontothefloor，whereitssteel—casedfeetlaidbarehischeek。Thethingevidentlydidnotintendtopartwithitsprizeeasily。

"Hadanyoneretainedacoolhead，thefigure，onecannothelpthinking，mighteasilyhavebeenstopped。Twoorthreemen，actinginconcert，mighthavelifteditbodilyoffthefloor，orhavejammeditintoacorner。Butfewhumanheadsarecapableofremainingcoolunderexcitement。Thosewhoarenotpresentthinkhowstupidmusthavebeenthosewhowere；thosewhoare，reflectafterwardshowsimpleitwouldhavebeentodothis，that，ortheother，ifonlytheyhadthoughtofitatthetime。

"Thewomengrewhysterical。Themenshoutedcontradictorydirectionstooneanother。Twoofthemmadeabunglingrushatthefigure，whichhadtheresultofforcingitoutofitsorbitinthecentreoftheroom，andsendingitcrashingagainstthewallsandfurniture。Astreamofbloodshoweditselfdownthegirl’swhitefrock，andfollowedheralongthefloor。Theaffairwasbecominghorrible。Thewomenrushedscreamingfromtheroom。Themenfollowedthem。

"Onesensiblesuggestionwasmade：’FindGeibel——fetchGeibel。’

"Noonehadnoticedhimleavetheroom，nooneknewwherehewas。A

partywentinsearchofhim。Theothers，toounnervedtogobackintotheballroom，crowdedoutsidethedoorandlistened。Theycouldhearthesteadywhirofthewheelsuponthepolishedfloor，asthethingspunroundandround；thedullthudaseverynowandagainitdasheditselfanditsburdenagainstsomeopposingobjectandricochetedoffinanewdirection。

"Andeverlastinglyittalkedinthatthinghostlyvoice，repeatingoverandoverthesameformula：’Howcharmingyouarelookingto—

night。Whatalovelydayithasbeen。Oh，don’tbesocruel。I

couldgoondancingforever——withyou。Haveyouhadsupper？’

"OfcoursetheysoughtforGeibeleverywherebutwherehewas。Theylookedineveryroominthehouse，thentheyrushedoffinabodytohisownplace，andspentpreciousminutesinwakinguphisdeafoldhousekeeper。AtlastitoccurredtooneofthepartythatWenzelwasmissingalso，andthentheideaofthecounting—houseacrosstheyardpresenteditselftothem，andtheretheyfoundhim。

"Heroseup，verypale，andfollowedthem；andheandoldWenzelforcedtheirwaythroughthecrowdofguestsgatheredoutside，andenteredtheroom，andlockedthedoorbehindthem。

"Fromwithintherecamethemuffledsoundoflowvoicesandquicksteps，followedbyaconfusedscufflingnoise，thensilence，thenthelowvoicesagain。

"Afteratimethedooropened，andthosenearitpressedforwardtoenter，butoldWenzel’sbroadshouldersbarredtheway。

"’Iwantyou——andyou，Bekler，’hesaid，addressingacoupleoftheeldermen。Hisvoicewascalm，buthisfacewasdeadlywhite。’Therestofyou，pleasego——getthewomenawayasquicklyasyoucan。’

"FromthatdayoldNicholausGeibelconfinedhimselftothemakingofmechanicalrabbitsandcatsthatmewedandwashedtheirfaces。"

WeagreedthatthemoralofMacShaughnassy’sstorywasagoodone。

CHAPTERXII

Howmuchmoreofour——fortunatelynotveryvaluable——timewedevotedtothiswonderfulnovelofours，Icannotexactlysay。Turningthedogs’—earedleavesofthedilapidateddiarythatliesbeforeme，I

findtherecordofourlatergatheringsconfusedandincomplete。

Forweekstheredoesnotappearasingleword。Thencomesanalarminglybusiness—likeminuteofameetingatwhichtherewere——

"Present：Jephson，MacShaughnassy，Brown，andSelf"；andatwhichthe"Proceedingscommencedat8。30。"Atwhattimethe"proceedings"

terminated，andwhatbusinesswasdone，thechronicle，however，sayethnot；though，faintlypencilledinthemarginofthepage，I

tracethesehieroglyphics："3。14。9—2。6。7，"bringingoutaresultof"1。8。2。"Evidentlyanunremunerativenight。

OnSeptember13thweseemtohavebecomesuddenlyimbuedwithenergytoaquiteremarkabledegree，forIreadthatwe"Resolvedtostartthefirstchapteratonce"——"atonce"beingunderlined。Afterthisspurt，werestuntilOctober4th，whenwe"Discussedwhetheritshouldbeanovelofplotorofcharacter，"without——sofarasthediaryaffordsindication——arrivingatanydefinitedecision。I

observethatonthesameday"Mactoldastoryaboutamanwhoaccidentallyboughtacamelatasale。"Detailsofthestoryare，however，wanting，which，perhaps，isfortunateforthereader。

Onthe16th，wewerestilldebatingthecharacterofourhero；andI

seethatIsuggested"amanoftheCharleyBuswelltype。"

PoorCharley，Iwonderwhatcouldhavemademethinkofhiminconnectionwithheroes；hislovableness，Isuppose——certainlynothisheroicqualities。Icanrecallhisboyishfacenow（itwasalwaysaboyishface），thetearsstreamingdownitashesatintheschoolyardbesideabucket，inwhichhewasdrowningthreewhitemiceandatamerat。Isatdownoppositeandcriedtoo，whilehelpinghimtoholdasaucepanlidoverthepoorlittlecreatures，andthustheresprangupafriendshipbetweenus，whichgrew。

Overthegraveofthesemurderedrodents，hetookasolemnoathnevertobreakschoolrulesagain，bykeepingeitherwhitemiceortamerats，buttodevotethewholeofhisenergiesforthefuturetopleasinghismasters，andaffordinghisparentssomesatisfactionforthemoneybeingspentuponhiseducation。

Sevenweekslater，thepervadencethroughoutthedormitoryofanatmosphericeffectmorecuriousthanpleasingledtothediscoverythathehadconvertedhisboxintoarabbithutch。Confrontedwithelevenkickingwitnesses，andremindedofhisformerpromises，heexplainedthatrabbitswerenotmice，andseemedtoconsiderthatanewandvexatiousregulationhadbeensprunguponhim。Therabbitswereconfiscated。Whatwastheirultimatefate，weneverknewwithcertainty，butthreedayslaterweweregivenrabbit—piefordinner。

TocomforthimIendeavouredtoassurehimthatthesecouldnotbehisrabbits。He，however，convincedthattheywere，criedsteadilyintohisplateallthetimethathewaseatingthem，andafterwards，intheplayground，hadastand—upfightwithafourthformboywhohadrequestedasecondhelping。

Thateveningheperformedanothersolemnoath—taking，andforthenextmonthwasthemodelboyoftheschool。Hereadtracts，senthissparepocket—moneytoassistinannoyingtheheathen，andsubscribedtoTheYoungChristianandTheWeeklyRambler，anEvangelicalMiscellany（whateverthatmaymean）。Anundilutedcourseofthisperniciousliteraturenaturallycreatedinhimadesiretowardstheoppositeextreme。HesuddenlydroppedTheYoungChristianandTheWeeklyRambler，andpurchasedpennydreadfuls；andtakingnofurtherinterestinthewelfareoftheheathen，savedupandboughtasecond—handrevolverandahundredcartridges。Hisambition，heconfidedtome，wastobecome"adeadshot，"andthemarvelofitisthathedidnotsucceed。

Ofcourse，therefollowedtheusualdiscoveryandconsequenttrouble，theusualrepentanceandreformation，theusualdeterminationtostartanewlife。

Poorfellow，helived"startinganewlife。"EveryNewYear’sDayhewouldstartanewlife——onhisbirthday——onotherpeople’sbirthdays。Ifancythat，lateron，whenhecametoknowtheirimportance，heextendedtheprincipletoquarterdays。"Tidyingup，andstartingafresh，"healwayscalledit。

Ithinkasayoungmanhewasbetterthanmostofus。ButhelackedthatgreatgiftwhichisthedistinguishingfeatureoftheEnglish—

speakingracealltheworldover，thegiftofhypocrisy。Heseemedincapableofdoingtheslightestthingwithoutgettingfoundout；agravemisfortuneforamantosufferfrom，this。

Dearsimple—heartedfellow，itneveroccurredtohimthathewasasothermen——with，perhaps，adashofstraightforwardnessadded；heregardedhimselfasamonsterofdepravity。OneeveningIfoundhiminhischambersengageduponhisSisypheanlabourof"tidyingup。"A

heapofletters，photographs，andbillslaybeforehim。Hewastearingthemupandthrowingthemintothefire。

Icametowardshim，buthestoppedme。"Don’tcomenearme，"hecried，"don’ttouchme。I’mnotfittoshakehandswithadecentman。"

Itwasthesortofspeechtomakeonefeelhotanduncomfortable。I

didnotknowwhattoanswer，andmurmuredsomethingabouthisbeingnoworsethantheaverage。

"Don’ttalklikethat，"heansweredexcitedly；"yousaythattocomfortme，Iknow；butIdon’tliketohearit。IfIthoughtothermenwerelikemeIshouldbeashamedofbeingaman。I’vebeenablackguard，oldfellow，but，pleaseGod，it’snottoolate。To—

morrowmorningIbeginanewlife。"

Hefinishedhisworkofdestruction，andthenrangthebell，andsenthismandownstairsforabottleofchampagne。

"Mylastdrink，"hesaid，asweclickedglasses。"Here’stotheoldlifeout，andthenewlifein。"

Hetookasipandflungtheglasswiththeremainderintothefire。

Hewasalwaysalittletheatrical，especiallywhenmostinearnest。

ForalongwhileafterthatIsawnothingofhim。Then，oneevening，sittingdowntosupperatarestaurant，Inoticedhimoppositetomeincompanythatcouldhardlybecalleddoubtful。

Heflushedandcameovertome。"I’vebeenanoldwomanfornearlysixmonths，"hesaid，withalaugh。"IfindIcan’tstanditanylonger。"

"Afterall，"hecontinued，"whatislifeforbuttolive？It’sonlyhypocriticaltotryandbeathingwearenot。Anddoyouknow"——heleantacrossthetable，speakingearnestly——"honestlyandseriously，I’mabetterman——Ifeelitandknowit——whenIammynaturalselfthanwhenIamtryingtobeanimpossiblesaint。"

Thatwasthemistakehemade；healwaysrantoextremes。Hethoughtthatanoath，ifitwereonlybigenough，wouldfrightenawayHumanNature，insteadofservingonlyasachallengetoit。Accordingly，eachreformationwasmoreintemperatethanthelast，tobedulyfollowedbyagreaterswingofthependulumintheoppositedirection。

Beingnowinathoroughlyrecklessmood，hewentthepaceratherhotly。Then，oneevening，withoutanypreviouswarning，Ihadanotefromhim。"ComeroundandseemeonThursday。Itismyweddingeve。"

Iwent。Hewasoncemore"tidyingup。"Allhisdrawerswereopen，andonthetablewerepiledpacksofcards，bettingbooks，andmuchwrittenpaper，all，asbefore，incourseofdemolition。

Ismiled：Icouldnothelpit，and，nowayabashed，helaughedhisusualhearty，honestlaugh。

"Iknow，"heexclaimedgaily，"butthisisnotthesameastheothers。"

Then，layinghishandonmyshoulder，andspeakingwiththesuddenseriousnessthatcomessoreadilytoshallownatures，hesaid，"Godhasheardmyprayer，oldfriend。HeknowsIamweak。HehassentdownanangeloutofHeaventohelpme。"

Hetookherportraitfromthemantelpieceandhandeditme。Itseemedtomethefaceofahard，narrowwoman，but，ofcourse，heravedabouther。

Ashetalked，thereflutteredtothegroundfromtheheapbeforehimanoldrestaurantbill，and，stooping，hepickeditupandhelditinhishand，musing。

"Haveyouevernoticedhowthescentofthechampagneandthecandlesseemstoclingtothesethings？"hesaidlightly，sniffingcarelesslyatit。"Iwonderwhat’sbecomeofher？"

"IthinkIwouldn’tthinkaboutheratalltonight，"Ianswered。

Heloosenedhishand，lettingthepaperfallintothefire。

"MyGod！"hecriedvehemently，"whenIthinkofallthewrongIhavedone——theirreparable，ever—wideningruinIhaveperhapsbroughtintotheworld——OGod！sparemealonglifethatImaymakeamends。

Everyhour，everyminuteofitshallbedevotedtoyourservice。"

Ashestoodthere，withhiseagerboyisheyesupraised，alightseemedtofalluponhisfaceandillumineit。Ihadpushedthephotographbacktohim，anditlayuponthetablebeforehim。Hekneltandpressedhislipstoit。

"Withyourhelp，mydarling，andHis，"hemurmured。

Thenextmorninghewasmarried。Shewasawell—meaninggirl，thoughherpiety，asisthecasewithmostpeople，wasofthenegativeorder；andherantipathytothingsevilmuchstrongerthanhersympathywiththingsgood。ForalongertimethanIhadexpectedshekepthimstraight——perhapsalittletoostraight。Butatlasttherecametheinevitablerelapse。

Icalleduponhim，inanswertoanexcitedmessage，andfoundhiminthedepthsofdespair。Itwastheoldstory，humanweakness，combinedwithlamentablelackofthemostordinaryprecautionsagainstbeingfoundout。Hegavemedetails，interspersedwithexuberantdenunciationsofhimself，andIundertookthedelicatetaskofpeace—maker。

Itwasawearywork，buteventuallysheconsentedtoforgivehim。

Hisjoy，whenItoldhim，wasboundless。

"Howgoodwomenare，"hesaid，whilethetearscameintohiseyes。

"Butsheshallnotrepentit。PleaseGod，fromthisdayforth，I’ll——"

Hestopped，andforthefirsttimeinhislifethedoubtofhimselfcrossedhismind。AsIsatwatchinghim，thejoydiedoutofhisface，andthefirsthintofagepassedoverit。

"Iseemtohavebeen’tidyingupandstartingafresh’allmylife，"

hesaidwearily；"I’mbeginningtoseewheretheuntidinesslies，andtheonlywaytogetridofit。"

Ididnotunderstandthemeaningofhiswordsatthetime，butlearntitlateron。

Hestrove，accordingtohisstrength，andfell。Butbyamiraclehistransgressionwasnotdiscovered。Thefactscametolightlongafterwards，butatthetimetherewereonlytwowhoknew。

Itwashislastfailure。LateoneeveningIreceivedahurriedly—

scrawlednotefromhiswife，beggingmetocomeround。

"Aterriblethinghashappened，"itran；"Charleywentuptohisstudyafterdinner，sayinghehadsome’tidyingup，’ashecallsit，todo，anddidnotwishtobedisturbed。Inclearingouthisdeskhemusthavehandledcarelesslytherevolverthathealwayskeepsthere，notremembering，Isuppose，thatitwasloaded。Weheardareport，andonrushingintotheroomfoundhimlyingdeadonthefloor。Thebullethadpassedrightthroughhisheart。"

Hardlythetypeofmanforahero！AndyetIdonotknow。Perhapshefoughtharderthanmanyamanwhoconquers。Intheworld’scourts，wearecompelledtojudgeoncircumstantialevidenceonly，andthechiefwitness，theman’ssoul，cannotverywellbecalled。

Irememberthesubjectofbraverybeingdiscussedoneeveningatadinnerparty，whenaGermangentlemanpresentrelatedananecdote，theheroofwhichwasayoungPrussianofficer。

"Icannotgiveyouhisname，"ourGermanfriendexplained——"themanhimselftoldmethestoryinconfidence；andthoughhepersonally，byvirtueofhisafterrecord，couldaffordtohaveitknown，thereareotherreasonswhyitshouldnotbebruitedabout。

"HowIlearntitwasinthisway。ForadashingexploitperformedduringthebriefwaragainstAustriahehadbeenpresentedwiththeIronCross。This，asyouarewellaware，isthemosthighly—prizeddecorationinourarmy；menwhohaveearneditareusuallyconceitedaboutit，and，indeed，havesomeexcuseforbeingso。He，onthecontrary，kepthislockedinadrawerofhisdesk，andneverworeitexceptwhencompelledbyofficialetiquette。Themeresightofitseemedtobepainfultohim。OnedayIaskedhimthereason。Weareveryoldandclosefriends，andhetoldme。

"Theincidentoccurredwhenhewasayounglieutenant。Indeed，itwashisfirstengagement。Bysomemeansoranotherhehadbecomeseparatedfromhiscompany，and，unabletoregainit，hadattachedhimselftoalineregimentstationedattheextremerightofthePrussianlines。

"Theenemy’seffortwasmainlydirectedagainsttheleftcentre，andforawhileouryounglieutenantwasnothingmorethanadistantspectatorofthebattle。Suddenly，however，theattackshifted，andtheregimentfounditselfoccupyinganextremelyimportantandcriticalposition。Theshellsbegantofallunpleasantlynear，andtheorderwasgivento’grass。’

"Themenfellupontheirfacesandwaited。Theshellsploughedthegroundaroundthem，smotheringthemwithdirt。Ahorrible，gripingpainstartedinmyyoungfriend’sstomach，andbegancreepingupwards。Hisheadandheartbothseemedtobeshrinkingandgrowingcold。Ashottoreofftheheadofthemannexttohim，sendingthebloodspurtingintohisface；aminutelateranotherrippedopenthebackofapoorfellowlyingtothefrontofhim。

"Hisbodyseemednottobelongtohimselfatall。Astrange，shrivelledcreaturehadtakenpossessionofit。Heraisedhisheadandpeeredabouthim。Heandthreesoldiers——youngsters，likehimself，whohadneverbeforebeenunderfire——appearedtobeutterlyaloneinthathell。Theyweretheendmenoftheregiment，andtheconfigurationofthegroundcompletelyhidthemfromtheircomrades。

"Theyglancedateachother，thesefour，andreadoneanother’sthoughts。Leavingtheirrifleslyingonthegrass，theycommencedtocrawlstealthilyupontheirbellies，thelieutenantleading，theotherthreefollowing。

"Somefewhundredyardsinfrontofthemroseasmall，steephill。

Iftheycouldreachthisitwouldshutthemoutofsight。Theyhastenedon，pausingeverythirtyyardsorsotoliestillandpantforbreath，thenhurryingonagain，quickerthanbefore，tearingtheirfleshagainstthebrokenground。

"Atlasttheyreachedthebaseoftheslope，andslinkingalittlewayroundit，raisedtheirheadsandlookedback。WheretheywereitwasimpossibleforthemtobeseenfromthePrussianlines。

"Theysprangtotheirfeetandbrokeintoawildrace。AdozenstepsfurthertheycamefacetofacewithanAustrianfieldbattery。

"Thedemonthathadtakenpossessionofthemhadbeengrowingstrongerthefurthertheyhadfled。Theywerenotmen，theywereanimalsmadwithfear。Drivenbythesamefrenzythatpromptedotherpanic—strickencreaturestooncerushdownasteepplaceintothesea，thesefourmen，withayell，flungthemselves，swordinhand，uponthewholebattery；andthewholebattery，bewilderedbythesuddennessandunexpectednessoftheattack，thinkingtheentirebattalionwasuponthem，gaveway，andrushedpell—melldownthehill。

"WiththesightofthoseflyingAustriansthefear，asindependentlyasithadcometohim，lefthim，andhefeltonlyadesiretohackandkill。ThefourPrussiansflewafterthem，cuttingandstabbingatthemastheyran；andwhenthePrussiancavalrycamethunderingup，theyfoundmyyounglieutenantandhisthreefriendshadcapturedtwogunsandaccountedforhalfascoreoftheenemy。

"Nextday，hewassummonedtoheadquarters。

"’Willyoubegoodenoughtorememberforthefuture，sir，’saidtheChiefoftheStaff，’thatHisMajestydoesnotrequirehislieutenantstoexecutemanoeuvresontheirownresponsibility，andalsothattoattackabatterywiththreemenisnotwar，butdamnedtomfoolery。Yououghttobecourt—martialled，sir！’

"Then，insomewhatdifferenttones，theoldsoldieradded，hisfacesofteningintoasmile：’However，alertnessanddaring，myyoungfriend，aregoodqualities，especiallywhencrownedwithsuccess。

IftheAustrianshadoncesucceededinplantingabatteryonthathillitmighthavebeendifficulttodislodgethem。Perhaps，underthecircumstances，HisMajestymayoverlookyourindiscretion。’

"’HisMajestynotonlyoverlookedit，butbestoweduponmetheIronCross，’concludedmyfriend。’Forthecreditofthearmy，Ijudgeditbettertokeepquietandtakeit。But，asyoucanunderstand，thesightofitdoesnotrecallverypleasurablereflections。’"

Toreturntomydiary，IseethatonNovember14thweheldanothermeeting。Butatthistherewerepresentonly"Jephson，MacShaughnassy，andSelf"；andofBrown’snameIfindhenceforthnofurthertrace。OnChristmasevewethreemetagain，andmynotesinformmethatMacShaughnassybrewedsomewhiskey—punch，accordingtoarecipeofhisown，arecordsuggestiveofasadChristmasforallthreeofus。Noparticularbusinessappearstohavebeenaccomplishedoneitheroccasion。

ThenthereisabreakuntilFebruary8th，andtheassemblagehasshrunkto"JephsonandSelf。"Withafinalflicker，asofadyingcandle，mydiaryatthispoint，however，growsluminous，sheddingmuchlightuponthatevening’sconversation。

Ourtalkseemstohavebeenofmanythings——ofmostthings，infact，exceptournovel。Amongothersubjectswespokeofliteraturegenerally。

"Iamtiredofthiseternalcackleaboutbooks，"saidJephson；

"thesecolumnsofcriticismtoeverylineofwriting；theseendlessbooksaboutbooks；theseshrillpraisesandshrilldenunciations；

thissillyworshipofnovelistTom；thissillyhateofpoetDick；

thissillysquabblingoverplaywrightHarry。Thereisnosoberness，nosenseinitall。Onewouldthink，tolistentotheHighPriestsofCulture，thatmanwasmadeforliterature，notliteratureforman。ThoughtexistedbeforethePrintingPress；andthemenwhowrotethebesthundredbooksneverreadthem。Bookshavetheirplaceintheworld，buttheyarenotitspurpose。Theyarethingssidebysidewithbeefandmutton，thescentofthesea，thetouchofahand，thememoryofahope，andalltheotheritemsinthesum—

totalofourthree—scoreyearsandten。YetwespeakofthemasthoughtheywerethevoiceofLifeinsteadofmerelyitsfaintecho。

TalesaredelightfulAStales——sweetasprimrosesafterthelongwinter，restfulasthecawingofrooksatsunset。Butwedonotwrite’tales’now；weprepare’humandocuments’anddissectsouls。"

Hebrokeoffabruptlyinthemidstofhistirade。"Doyouknowwhatthese’psychologicalstudies，’thataresofashionablejustnow，alwaysmakemethinkof？"hesaid。"Onemonkeyexamininganothermonkeyforfleas。

"Andwhat，afterall，doesourdissectingpenlaybare？"hecontinued。"Humannature？ormerelysomemoreorlessunsavouryundergarment，disguisinganddisfiguringhumannature？Thereisastorytoldofanelderlytramp，who，overtakenbymisfortune，wascompelledtoretireforawhiletotheseclusionofPortland。Hishosts，desiringtoseeasmuchaspossibleoftheirguestduringhislimitedstaywiththem，proceededtobathhim。Theybathedhimtwiceadayforaweek，eachtimelearningmoreofhim；untilatlasttheyreachedaflannelshirt。Andwiththattheyhadtobecontent，soapandwaterprovingpowerlesstogofurther。

"Thattrampappearstomesymbolicalofmankind。HumanNaturehaswornitsconventionsforsolongthatitshabithasgrownontoit。

Inthisnineteenthcenturyitisimpossibletosaywheretheclothesofcustomendandthenaturalmanbegins。Ourvirtuesaretaughttousasabranchof’Deportment’；ourvicesaretherecognisedvicesofourreignandset。Ourreligionhangsready—madebesideourcradletobebuttoneduponusbylovinghands。Ourtastesweacquire，withdifficulty；oursentimentswelearnbyrote。Atcostofinfinitesuffering，westudytolovewhiskeyandcigars，highartandclassicalmusic。InoneageweadmireByronanddrinksweetchampagne：twentyyearslateritismorefashionabletopreferShelley，andwelikeourchampagnedry。AtschoolwearetoldthatShakespeareisagreatpoet，andthattheVenusdiMediciisafinepieceofsculpture；andsofortherestofourliveswegoaboutsayingwhatagreatpoetwethinkShakespeare，andthatthereisnopieceofsculpture，inouropinion，sofineastheVenusdiMedici。

IfweareFrenchmenweadoreourmother；ifEnglishmenwelovedogsandvirtue。Wegrieveforthedeathofanearrelativetwelvemonths；butforasecondcousinwesorrowonlythree。Thegoodmanhashisregulationexcellenciestostriveafter，hisregulationsinstorepentof。Iknewagoodmanwhowasquitetroubledbecausehewasnotproud，andcouldnot，therefore，withanyreasonableness，prayforhumility。Insocietyonemustneedsbecynicalandmildlywicked：inBohemia，orthodoxlyunorthodox。Iremembermymotherexpostulatingwithafriend，anactress，whohadleftadevotedhusbandandelopedwithadisagreeable，ugly，littlelowcomedian（I

amspeakingoflong，longago）。

"’Youmustbemad，’saidmymother；’whatonearthinducedyoutotakesuchastep？’

"’MydearEmma，’repliedthelady；’whatelsewasthereforme？YouknowIcan’tact。IhadtodoSOMETHINGtoshowIwas’anartiste！’

"Wearedressed—upmarionettes。Ourvoiceisthevoiceoftheunseenshowman，Convention；ourverymovementsofpassionandpainarebutinanswertohisjerk。Amanresemblesoneofthosegiganticbundlesthatoneseesinnursemaids’arms。Itisverybulkyandverylong；itlooksamassofdelicatelaceandrichfurandfinewovenstuffs；andsomewhere，hiddenoutofsightamongthefinery，thereisatinyredbitofbewilderedhumanity，withnovoicebutafoolishcry。

"Thereisbutonestory，"hewenton，afteralongpause，utteringhisownthoughtsaloudratherthanspeakingtome。"Wesitatourdesksandthinkandthink，andwriteandwrite，butthestoryiseverthesame。Mentolditandmenlistenedtoitmanyyearsago；

wearetellingittooneanotherto—day；weshallbetellingittooneanotherathousandyearshence；andthestoryis：’Onceuponatimetherelivedaman，andawomanwholovedhim。’Thelittlecriticcriesthatitisnotnew，andasksforsomethingfresh，thinking——aschildrendo——thattherearestrangethingsintheworld。"

Atthatpointmynotesend，andthereisnothinginthebookbeyond。

Whetheranyofusthoughtanymoreofthenovel，whetherweevermetagaintodiscussit，whetheritwereeverbegun，whetheritwereeverabandoned——Icannotsay。ThereisafairystorythatIreadmany，manyyearsagothathasneverceasedtohauntme。Ittoldhowalittleboyonceclimbedarainbow。Andattheendoftherainbow，justbehindtheclouds，hefoundawondrouscity。Itshouseswereofgold，anditsstreetswerepavedwithsilver，andthelightthatshoneuponitwasasthelightthatliesuponthesleepingworldatdawn。Inthiscitytherewerepalacessobeautifulthatmerelytolookuponthemsatisfiedalldesires；templessoperfectthattheywhooncekneltthereinwerecleansedofsin。Andallthemenwhodweltinthiswondrouscityweregreatandgood，andthewomenfairerthanthewomenofayoungman’sdreams。Andthenameofthecitywas，"Thecityofthethingsmenmeanttodo。"