第6章

"’But，’Isaid，’youseemed——Ireallycouldnothelpnoticing，itwassopronounced——youseemedtopositivelydislikeher。Indeed，I

gatheredfromyourremarktoafriendthathersocietywasdistinctlydistastefultoyou。’

"’ToSmith，’hecorrectedme。’Whatjudgewouldthathowlinglittleblackguardbeofawoman’sworth！Thedislikeofsuchamanasthatisatestimonialtohermerit！’

"’Imaybemistaken，’Isaid；’butshestruckmeasabitcommon。’

"’Sheisnot，perhaps，whattheworldwouldcallalady，’headmitted；’butthen，mydearMac，myopinionoftheworldisnotsuchastorenderITSopinionofmuchvaluetome。Iandtheworlddifferonmostsubjects，Iamgladtosay。Sheisbeautiful，andsheisgood，andsheismychoice。’

"’She’sajollyenoughlittlegirl，’Ireplied，’and，Ishouldsay，affectionate；buthaveyouconsidered，Smythe，whethersheisquite—

—whatshallwesay——quiteasintellectualascouldbedesired？’

"’Really，totellthetruth，Ihavenottroubledmyselfmuchaboutherintellect，’hereplied，withoneofhissneeringsmiles。’I

havenodoubtthattheamountofintellectabsolutelynecessarytotheformationofaBritishhome，Ishallbeabletosupplymyself。

Ihavenodesireforanintellectualwife。Oneiscompelledtomeettiresomepeople，butonedoesnotlivewiththemifonecanavoidit。’

"’No，’hecontinued，revertingtohismorenaturaltone；’themoreI

thinkofElizabeththemoreclearitbecomestomethatsheistheonewomanintheworldforwhommarriagewithmeispossible。I

perceivethattothesuperficialobservermyselectionmustappearextraordinary。Idonotpretendtoexplainit，oreventounderstandit。Thestudyofmankindisbeyondman。Onlyfoolsattemptit。Maybeitishercontrasttomyselfthatattractsme。

Maybemy，perhaps，toospiritualnaturefeelstheneedofcontactwithhercoarserclaytoperfectitself。Icannottell。Thesethingsmustalwaysremainmysteries。IonlyknowthatIloveher——

that，ifanyrelianceistobeplaceduponinstinct，sheisthematetowhomArtemisisleadingme。’

"Itwasclearthathewasinlove，andIthereforeceasedtoarguewithhim。’Youkeptupyouracquaintanceshipwithher，then，afteryou’——Iwasgoingtosay’afteryouceasedtobeSmith，’butnotwishingtoagitatehimbymorementionofthatpersonthanIcouldhelp，Isubstituted，’afteryoureturnedtotheAlbany？’

"’Notexactly，’hereplied；’IlostsightofherafterIleftYarmouth，andIdidnotseeheragainuntilfivedaysago，whenI

cameacrossherinanaeratedbreadshop。Ihadgoneintogetaglassofmilkandabun，andSHEbroughtthemtome。Irecognisedherinamoment。’Hisfacelightedupwithquiteahumansmile。’I

taketeathereeveryafternoonnow，’headded，glancingtowardstheclock，’atfour。’

"’There’snotmuchneedtoaskHERviewsonthesubject，’Isaid，laughing；’herfeelingstowardsyouwereprettyevident。’

"’Well，thatisthecuriouspartofit，’hereplied，withareturntohisformerembarrassment；’shedoesnotseemtocareformenowatall。Indeed，shepositivelyrefusesme。Shesays——toputitinthedearchild’sownracylanguage——thatshewouldn’ttakemeonatanyprice。Shesaysitwouldbelikemarryingaclockworkfigurewithoutthekey。She’smorefrankthancomplimentary，butIlikethat。’

"’Waitaminute，’Isaid；’anideaoccurstome。DoessheknowofyouridentitywithSmith？’

"’No，’hereplied，alarmed，’Iwouldnothaveherknowitforworlds。OnlyyesterdayshetoldmethatIremindedherofafellowshehadmetatYarmouth，andmyheartwasinmymouth。’

"’Howdidshelookwhenshetoldyouthat？’Iasked。

"’Howdidshelook？’herepeated，notunderstandingme。

"’Whatwasherexpressionatthatmoment？’Isaid——’wasitsevereortender？’

"’Well，’hereplied，’nowIcometothinkofit，shedidseemtosoftenabitjustthen。’

"’Mydearboy，’Isaid，’thecaseisasclearasday—light。ShelovesSmith。NogirlwhoadmiredSmithcouldbeattractedbySmythe。Asyourpresentselfyouwillneverwinher。Inafewweeks’time，however，youwillbeSmith。Leavethematteroveruntilthen。ProposetoherasSmith，andshewillacceptyou。

AftermarriageyoucanbreakSmythegentlytoher。’

"’ByJove！’heexclaimed，startledoutofhiscustomarylethargy，’I

neverthoughtofthat。Thetruthis，whenIaminmyrightsenses，Smithandallhisaffairsseemlikeadreamtome。Anyideaconnectedwithhimwouldneverentermymind。’

"Heroseandheldouthishand。’IamsogladIcametoseeyou，’

hesaid；’yoursuggestionhasalmostreconciledmetomymiserablefate。Indeed，IquitelookforwardtoamonthofSmith，now。’

"’I’msopleased，’Ianswered，shakinghandswithhim。’Mindyoucomeandtellmehowyougeton。Anotherman’sloveaffairsarenotusuallyabsorbing，butthereisanelementofinterestaboutyoursthatrendersthecaseexceptional。’

"Weparted，andIdidnotseehimagainforanothermonth。Then，lateoneevening，theservantknockedatmydoortosaythataMr。

Smithwishedtoseeme。

"’Smith，Smith，’Irepeated；’whatSmith？didn’thegiveyouacard？’

"’No，sir，’answeredthegirl；’hedoesn’tlookthesortthatwouldhaveacard。He’snotagentleman，sir；buthesaysyou’llknowhim。’Sheevidentlyregardedthestatementasanaspersionuponmyself。

"IwasabouttotellhertosayIwasout，whentherecollectionofSmythe’sotherselfflashedintomymind，andIdirectedhertosendhimup。

"Aminutepassed，andthenheentered。Hewaswearinganewsuitofalouderpattern，ifpossible，thanbefore。Ithinkhemusthavedesignedithimself。Helookedhotandgreasy。Hedidnotoffertoshakehands，butsatdownawkwardlyontheextremeedgeofasmallchair，andgapedabouttheroomasifhehadneverseenitbefore。

"Hecommunicatedhisshynesstomyself。Icouldnotthinkwhattosay，andwesatforawhileinpainfulsilence。

"’Well，’Isaid，atlast，plunginghead—foremostintothematter，accordingtothemethodofshypeople，’andhow’s’Liza？’

"’Oh，SHE’Sallright，’hereplied，keepinghiseyesfixedonhishat。

"’Haveyoudoneit？’Icontinued。

"’Donewot？’heasked，lookingup。

"’Marriedher。’

"’No，’heanswered，returningtothecontemplationofhishat。

"’Hassherefusedyouthen？’Isaid。

"’Iain’tarst’er，’hereturned。

Heseemedunwillingtoexplainmattersofhisownaccord。Ihadtoputtheconversationintotheformofacross—examination。

"’Whynot？’Iasked；’don’tyouthinkshecaresforyouanylonger？’

Heburstintoaharshlaugh。’Thereain’tmuchfearo’that，’hesaid；’it’slike’avinganAlcock’sporousplastermashedonyer，blowedifitain’t。There’snogettin’ridof’er。Iwishshe’dgiv’somebodyelseaturn。I’mfairsickof’er。’

"’Butyouwereenthusiasticaboutheramonthago！’Iexclaimedinastonishment。

"’Smythemay’avebeen，’hesaid；’thereain’tnoaccountingforthatninny，’is’ead’sfullofstarch。Anyhow，Idon’ttake’eronwhileI’mmyself。I’mtoojollyfly。’

"’Thatsorto’gal’sallrightenoughtolarkwith，’hecontinued；

’butyerdon’twanttomarry’em。Theydon’tdoyernogood。Amanwantsawifeas’ecanrespect——someoneasisacutabove’imself，aswillraise’imupapegortwo——someoneas’ecanlookuptoandworship。Aman’swifeorterbeto’imagawddess——ahangel，a——’

"’Youappeartohavemetthelady，’Iremarked，interruptinghim。

"Heblushedscarlet，andbecamesuddenlyabsorbedinthepatternofthecarpet。Butthenextmomenthelookedupagain，andhisfaceseemedliterallytransformed。

"’Oh！Mr。MacShaughnassy，’heburstout，witharingofgenuinemanlinessinhisvoice，’youdon’tknow’owgood，’owbeautifulsheis。Iain’tfittobreathe’ernameinmythoughts。An’she’ssoclever。Imet’eratthatToynbee’All。Therewasapartyoftoffstherealltogether。Youwould’aveenjoyedit，Mr。MacShaughnassy，ifyoucould’ave’eard’er；shewasmakin’funofthepicturesandthepeopleroundaboutto’erpa——suchwit，suchlearnin’，such’aughtiness。Ifolleredthemoutandopenedthecarriagedoorfor’er，andshejustdrew’erskirtasideandlookedatmeasifIwasthedirtintheroad。IwishIwas，forthenperhapsonedayI’dkiss’erfeet。’

"HisemotionwassogenuinethatIdidnotfeelinclinedtolaughathim。’Didyoufindoutwhoshewas？’Iasked。

"’Yes，’heanswered；’I’eardtheoldgentlemansay"’Ome"tothecoachman，andIranafterthecarriageallthewayto’ArleyStreet。

Trevior’s’ername，HedithTrevior。’

"’MissTrevior！’Icried，’atall，darkgirl，withuntidyhairandratherweakeyes？’

"’Tallanddark，’hereplied’with’airthatseemstryin’toreach’erlipstokiss’em，andheyes，lightblue，likeaCambridgenecktie。A’undredandseventy—threewasthenumber。’

"’That’sright，’Isaid；’mydearSmith，thisisbecomingcomplicated。You’vemettheladyandtalkedtoherforhalfanhour——asSmythe，don’tyouremember？’

"’No，’hesaid，aftercogitatingforaminute，’carn’tsayIdo；I

nevercanremembermuchaboutSmythe。Heallersseemstomelikeabaddream。’

"’Well，youmether，’Isaid；’I’mpositive。Iintroducedyoutohermyself，andsheconfidedtomeafterwardsthatshethoughtyouamostcharmingman。’

"’No——didshe？’heremarked，evidentlysofteninginhisfeelingstowardsSmythe；’anddidIlike’ER？’

"’Well，totellthetruth，’Ianswered，’Idon’tthinkyoudid。Youlookedintenselybored。’

"’TheJuggins，’Iheardhimmuttertohimself，andthenhesaidaloud：’D’yerthinkIshallgetachanceo’seein’’eragen，whenI’m——whenI’mSmythe？’

"’Ofcourse，’Isaid，’I’lltakeyouroundmyself。Bythebye，’I

added，jumpingupandlookingonthemantelpiece，’I’vegotacardforaCinderellaattheirplace——somethingtodowithabirthday。

WillyoubeSmytheonNovemberthetwentieth？’

"’Ye——as，’hereplied；’oh，yas——boundtobebythen。’

"’Verywell，then，’Isaid，’I’llcallroundforyouattheAlbany，andwe’llgotogether。’

"Heroseandstoodsmoothinghishatwithhissleeve。’FusttimeI’veeverlookedfor’ardtobein’thathanimatedcorpse，Smythe，’hesaidslowly。’BlowedifIdon’ttryto’urryitup——’ponmysiveyI

will。’

"’He’llbenogoodtoyoutillthetwentieth，’Iremindedhim。

’And，’Iadded，asIstooduptoringthebell，’you’resureit’sagenuinecasethistime。Youwon’tbegoingbackto’Liza？’

"’Oh，don’ttalk’bout’LizainthesamebreathwithHedith，’hereplied，’itsoundslikesacrilege。’

"Hestoodhesitatingwiththehandleofthedoorinhishand。Atlast，openingitandlookingveryhardathishat，hesaid，’I’mgoin’to’ArleyStreetnow。Iwalkupanddownoutsidethe’ouseeveryevening，andsometimes，whenthereain’tnoonelookin’，Igetachancetokissthedoorstep。’

"Hedisappeared，andIreturnedtomychair。

"OnNovembertwentieth，Icalledforhimaccordingtopromise。I

foundhimonthepointofstartingfortheclub：hehadforgottenallaboutourappointment。Iremindedhimofit，andhewithdifficultyrecalledit，andconsented，withoutanyenthusiasm，toaccompanyme。Byafewartfulhintstohermother（includingacasualmentionofhisincome），ImanoeuvredmatterssothathehadEdithalmostentirelytohimselfforthewholeevening。IwasproudofwhatIhaddone，andaswewerewalkinghometogetherIwaitedtoreceivehisgratitude。

"Asitseemedslowincoming，Ihintedmyexpectations。

"’Well，’Isaid，’IthinkImanagedthatverycleverlyforyou。’

"’Managedwhatverycleverly？’saidhe。

"’Why，gettingyouandMissTreviorlefttogetherforsuchalongtimeintheconservatory，’Ianswered，somewhathurt；’Ifixedthatforyou。’

"’Oh，itwasYOU，wasit，’hereplied；’I’vebeencursingProvidence。’

"Istoppeddeadinthemiddleofthepavement，andfacedhim。

’Don’tyouloveher？’Isaid。

"’Loveher！’herepeated，intheutmostastonishment；’whatonearthisthereinhertolove？She’snothingbutabadtranslationofamodernFrenchcomedy，withtheinterestomitted。’

"This’tired’me——touseanAmericanism。’Youcametomeamonthago，’Isaid，’ravingoverher，andtalkingaboutbeingthedirtunderherfeetandkissingherdoorstep。’

"Heturnedveryred。’Iwish，mydearMac，’hesaid，’youwouldpaymethecomplimentofnotmistakingmeforthatdetestablelittlecadwithwhomIhavethemisfortunetobeconnected。Youwouldgreatlyobligemeifnexttimeheattemptstoinflictuponyouhisvulgardrivelyouwouldkindlykickhimdownstairs。’

"’Nodoubt，’headded，withasneer，aswewalkedon，’MissTreviorwouldbehisideal。Sheisexactlythetypeofwoman，Ishouldsay，tocharmthattypeofman。Formyself，Idonotappreciatetheartisticandliteraryfemale。’

"’Besides，’hecontinued，inadeepertone，’youknowmyfeelings。

IshallnevercareforanyotherwomanbutElizabeth。’

"’Andshe？’Isaid"’She，’hesighed，’isbreakingherheartforSmith。’

"’Whydon’tyoutellheryouareSmith？’Iasked。

"’Icannot，’hereplied，’noteventowinher。Besides，shewouldnotbelieveme。’

"Wesaidgood—nightatthecornerofBondStreet，andIdidnotseehimagaintilloneafternoonlateinthefollowingMarch，whenIranagainsthiminLudgateCircus。Hewaswearinghistransitionbluesuitandbowlerhat。Iwentuptohimandtookhisarm。

"’Whichareyou？’Isaid。

"’Neither，forthemoment，’hereplied，’thankGod。HalfanhouragoIwasSmythe，halfanhourhenceIshallbeSmith。Forthepresenthalf—hourIamaman。’

"Therewasapleasant，heartyringinhisvoice，andagenial，kindlylightinhiseyes，andheheldhimselflikeafrankgentleman。

"’Youarecertainlyanimprovementuponbothofthem，’Isaid。

"Helaughedasunnylaugh，withjusttheshadowofsadnessdashedacrossit。’DoyouknowmyideaofHeaven？’hesaid。

"’No，’Ireplied，somewhatsurprisedatthequestion。

"’LudgateCircus，’wastheanswer。’Theonlyreallysatisfyingmomentsofmylife，’hesaid，’havebeenpassedintheneighbourhoodofLudgateCircus。IleavePiccadillyanunhealthy，unwholesomeprig。AtCharingCrossIbegintofeelmybloodstirinmyveins。

FromLudgateCircustoCheapsideIamahumanthingwithhumanfeelingthrobbinginmyheart，andhumanthoughtthrobbinginmybrain——withfancies，sympathies，andhopes。AttheBankmymindbecomesablank。AsIwalkon，mysensesgrowcoarseandblunted；

andbythetimeIreachWhitechapelIamapoorlittleuncivilisedcad。Onthereturnjourneyitisthesamethingreversed。’

"’WhynotliveinLudgateCircus，’Isaid，’andbealwaysasyouarenow？’

"’Because，’heanswered，’manisapendulum，andmusttravelhisarc。’

"’MydearMac，’saidhe，layinghishanduponmyshoulder，’thereisonlyonegoodthingaboutme，andthatisamoral。ManisasGodmadehim：don’tbesosurethatyoucantakehimtopiecesandimprovehim。AllmylifeIhavesoughttomakemyselfanunnaturallysuperiorperson。Naturehasretaliatedbymakingmealsoanunnaturallyinferiorperson。Natureabhorslopsidedness。

Sheturnsoutmanasawhole，tobedevelopedasawhole。Ialwayswonder，wheneverIcomeacrossasupernaturallypious，asupernaturallymoral，asupernaturallyculturedperson，iftheyalsohaveareverseself。’

"Iwasshockedathissuggestedargument，andwalkedbyhissideforawhilewithoutspeaking。Atlast，feelingcuriousonthesubject，Iaskedhimhowhisvariousloveaffairswereprogressing。

"’Oh，asusual，’hereplied；’inandoutofaculdesac。WhenIamSmytheIloveEliza，andElizaloathesme。WhenIamSmithIloveEdith，andthemeresightofmemakeshershudder。Itisasunfortunateforthemasforme。Iamnotsayingitboastfully。

Heavenknowsitisanaddeddraughtofmiseryinmycup；butitisafactthatElizaisliterallypiningawayformeasSmith，and——asSmithIfinditimpossibletobeevenciviltoher；whileEdith，poorgirl，hasbeenfoolishenoughtosetherheartonmeasSmythe，andasSmythesheseemstomebuttheskinofawomanstuffedwiththehusksoflearning，andragstornfromthecorpseofwit。’

"Iremainedabsorbedinmyownthoughtsforsometime，anddidnotcomeoutofthemtillwewerecrossingtheMinories。Then，theideasuddenlyoccurringtome，Isaid：

"’Whydon’tyougetanewgirlaltogether？TheremustbemediumgirlsthatbothSmithandSmythecouldlike，andthatwouldputupwithbothofyou。’

"’Nomoregirlsforthischild，’heanswered’they’remoretroublethanthey’reworth。Thoseyerwantyercarn’tget，andthoseyercan’ave，yerdon’twant。’

"Istarted，andlookedupathim。Hewasslouchingalongwithhishandsinhispockets，andavacuouslookinhisface。

"Asuddenrepulsionseizedme。’Imustgonow，’Isaid，stopping。

’I’dnoideaIhadcomesofar。’

"HeseemedasgladtoberidofmeasItoberidofhim。’Oh，mustyer，’hesaid，holdingouthishand。’Well，solong。’

"Weshookhandscarelessly。Hedisappearedinthecrowd，andthatisthelastIhaveeverseenofhim。"

"Isthatatruestory？"askedJephson。

"Well，I’vealteredthenamesanddates，"saidMacShaughnassy；"butthemainfactsyoucanrelyupon。"

CHAPTERX

Thefinalquestiondiscussedatourlastmeetingbeen：Whatshallourherobe？MacShaughnassyhadsuggestedanauthor，withacriticforthevillain。Myideawasastockbroker，withanundercurrentofromanceinhisnature。SaidJephson，whohasapracticalmind：

"Thequestionisnotwhatwelike，butwhatthefemalenovel—readerlikes。"

"Thatisso，"agreedMacShaughnassy。"Iproposethatwecollectfeminineopinionuponthispoint。Iwillwritetomyauntandobtainfromhertheoldlady’sview。You，"hesaid，turningtome，"canputthecasetoyourwife，andgettheyounglady’sideal。LetBrownwritetohissisteratNewnham，andfindoutwhomtheintellectualmaidenfavours，whileJephsoncanlearnfromMissMedburywhatismostattractivetothecommon—sensedgirl。"

Thisplanwehadadopted，andtheresultwasnowunderconsideration。MacShaughnassyopenedtheproceedingsbyreadinghisaunt’sletter。Wrotetheoldlady：

"Ithink，ifIwereyou，mydearboy，Ishouldchooseasoldier。

Youknowyourpoorgrandfather，whoranawaytoAmericawiththatWICKEDMrs。Featherly，thebanker’swife，wasasoldier，andsowasyourpoorcousinRobert，wholosteightthousandpoundsatMonteCarlo。Ihavealwaysfeltsingularlydrawntowardssoldiers，evenasagirl；thoughyourpoordearunclecouldnotbearthem。YouwillfindmanyallusionstosoldiersandmenofwarintheOldTestament（seeJer。xlviii。14）。Ofcourseonedoesnotliketothinkoftheirfightingandkillingeachother，butthentheydonotseemtodothatsortofthingnowadays。"

"Somuchfortheoldlady，"saidMacShaughnassy，ashefoldeduptheletterandreturnedittohispocket。"Whatsaysculture？"

Brownproducedfromhiscigar—casealetteraddressedinaboldroundhand，andreadasfollows：

"Whatacuriouscoincidence！AfewofuswerediscussingthisverysubjectlastnightinMillicentHightopper’srooms，andImaytellyouatoncethatourdecisionwasunanimousinfavourofsoldiers。

Yousee，mydearSelkirk，inhumannaturetheattractionistowardstheopposite。Toamilliner’sapprenticeapoetwouldnodoubtbesatisfying；toawomanofintelligencehewouldheanunutterablebore。Whattheintellectualwomanrequiresinmanisnotsomethingtoarguewith，butsomethingtolookat。Toanempty—headedwomanI

canimaginethesoldiertypeprovingvapidanduninteresting；tothewomanofmindherepresentsheridealofman——acreaturestrong，handsome，well—dressed，andnottooclever。"

"Thatgivesustwovotesforthearmy，"remarkedMacShaughnassy，asBrowntorehissister’sletterintwo，andthrewthepiecesintothewaste—paperbasket。"Whatsaysthecommon—sensedgirl？"

"Firstcatchyourcommon—sensedgirl，"mutteredJephson，alittlegrumpily，asitseemedtome。"Wheredoyouproposefindingher？"

"Well，"returnedMacShaughnassy，"IlookedtofindherinMissMedbury。"

Asarule，thementionofMissMedbury’snamebringsaflushofjoytoJephson’sface；butnowhisfeaturesworeanexpressiondistinctlyapproachingascowl。

"Oh！"hereplied，"didyou？Well，then，thecommon—sensedgirllovesthemilitaryalso。"

"ByJove！"exclaimedMacShaughnassy，"whatanextraordinarything。

Whatreasondoesshegive？"

"Thatthere’sasomethingaboutthem，andthattheydancesodivinely，"answeredJephson，shortly。

"Well，youdosurpriseme，"murmuredMacShaughnassy，"Iamastonished。"

Thentomehesaid："Andwhatdoestheyoungmarriedwomansay？

Thesame？"

"Yes，"Ireplied，"preciselythesame。"

"DoesSHEgiveareason？"heasked。

"Ohyes，"Iexplained；"becauseyoucan’thelplikingthem。"

Therewassilenceforthenextfewminutes，whilewesmokedandthought。Ifancywewereallwishingwehadneverstartedthisinquiry。

Thatfourdistinctlydifferenttypesofeducatedwomanhoodshould，withpromptnessandunanimityquiteunfeminine，haveselectedthesoldierastheirideal，wascertainlydiscouragingtothecivilianheart。Hadtheybeennursemaidsorservantgirls，Ishouldhaveexpectedit。TheworshipofMarsbytheVenusofthewhitecapisoneofthefewvitalreligionslefttothisdevoutlessage。AyearortwoagoIlodgednearabarracks，andthesighttobeseenrounditshugeirongatesonSundayafternoonsIshallneverforget。Thegirlsbegantoassembleabouttwelveo’clock。Bytwo，atwhichhourthearmy，withitshairnicelyoiledandacaneinitshand，wasreadyforastroll，therewouldbesomefourorfivehundredofthemwaitinginaline。Formerlytheyhadcollectedinawildmob，andasthesoldierswereletouttothemtwoatatime，hadfoughtforthem，aslionsforearlyChristians。This，however，hadledtoscenesofsuchdisorderandbrutality，thatthepolicehadbeenobligedtointerfere；andthegirlswerenowmarshalledinQUEUE，twoabreast，andcompelled，byaforceofconstablesspeciallytoldoffforthepurpose，tokeeptheirplacesandwaittheirproperturn。

Atthreeo’clockthesentryondutywouldcomedowntothewicketandcloseit。"They’reallgone，mydears，"hewouldshoutouttothegirlsstillleft；"it’snogoodyourstopping，we’venomoreforyouto—day。"

"Oh，notone！"somepoorchildwouldmurmurpleadingly，whilethetearswelledupintoherbigroundeyes，"notevenalittleone。

I’vebeenwaitingSUCHalongtime。"

"Can’thelpthat，"thehonestfellowwouldreply，gruffly，butnotunkindly，turningasidetohidehisemotion；"you’vehad’emallbetweenyou。Wedon’tmake’em，youknow：youcan’thave’emifwehaven’tgot’em，canyou？Comeearliernexttime。"

Thenhewouldhurryawaytoescapefurtherimportunity；andthepolice，whoappearedtohavebeenwaitingforthismomentwithgloatinganticipation，wouldjeeringlyhustleawaytheweepingremnant。"Nowthen，passalong，yougirls，passalong，"theywouldsay，inthatirritatinglyunsympatheticvoiceoftheirs。"You’vehadyourchance。Can’thavetheroadwayblockedupalltheafternoonwiththis’eredemonstrationoftheunloved。Passalong。"

Inconnectionwiththissamebarracks，ourchar—womantoldAmenda，whotoldEthelbertha，whotoldmeastory，whichInowtoldtheboys。

Intoacertainhouse，inacertainstreetintheneighbourhood，theremovedonedayacertainfamily。Theirservanthadleftthem——

mostoftheirservantsdidattheendofaweek——andthedayafterthemoving—inanadvertisementforadomesticwasdrawnupandsenttotheChronicle。Itranthus：

WANTED，GENERALSERVANT，insmallfamilyofeleven。Wages，6

pounds；nobeermoney。Mustbeearlyriserandhardworker。

Washingdoneathome。Mustbegoodcook，andnotobjecttowindow—

cleaning。Unitarianpreferred。——Apply，withreferences，toA。B。，etc。

ThatadvertisementwassentoffonWednesdayafternoon。Atseveno’clockonThursdaymorningthewholefamilywereawakenedbycontinuousringingofthestreet—doorbell。Thehusband，lookingoutofwindow，wassurprisedtoseeacrowdofaboutfiftygirlssurroundingthehouse。Heslippedonhisdressing—gownandwentdowntoseewhatwasthematter。Themomentheopenedthedoor，fifteenofthemchargedtumultuouslyintothepassage，sweepinghimcompletelyoffhislegs。Onceinside，thesefifteenfacedround，foughttheotherthirty—fiveorsobackontothedoor—step，andslammedthedoorintheirfaces。Thentheypickedupthemasterofthehouse，andaskedhimpolitelytoconductthemtoA。B。"

Atfirst，owingtotheclamourofthemoboutside，whowerehammeringatthedoorandshoutingcursesthroughthekeyhole，hecouldunderstandnothing，butatlengththeysucceededinexplainingtohimthattheyweredomesticservantscomeillanswertohiswife’sadvertisement。Themanwentandtoldhiswife，andhiswifesaidshewouldseethem，oneatatime。

Whichoneshouldhaveaudiencefirstwasadelicatequestiontodecide。Theman，onbeingappealedto，saidhewouldprefertoleaveittothem。Theyaccordinglydiscussedthematteramongthemselves。Attheendofaquarterofanhour，thevictor，havingborrowedsomehair—pinsandalooking—glassfromourcharwoman，whohadsleptinthehouse，wentupstairs，whiletheremainingfourteensatdowninthehall，andfannedthemselveswiththeirbonnets。

"A。B。"wasagooddealastonishedwhenthefirstapplicantpresentedherself。Shewasatall，genteel—lookinggirl。UptoyesterdayshehadbeenheadhousemaidatLadyStanton’s，andbeforethatshehadbeenunder—cookfortwoyearstotheDuchessofYork。

"AndwhydidyouleaveLadyStanton？"asked"A。B。"

"Tocomehere，mum，"repliedthegirl。Theladywaspuzzled。

"Andyou’llbesatisfiedwithsixpoundsayear？"sheasked。

"Certainly，mum，Ithinkitample。"

"Andyoudon’tmindhardwork？"

"Iloveit，mum。"

"Andyou’reanearlyriser？"

"Ohyes，mum，itupsetsmestoppinginbedafterhalf—pastfive。"

"Youknowwedothewashingathome？"

"Yes，mum。Ithinkitsomuchbettertodoitathome。Thoselaundriesruingoodclothes。They’resocareless。"

"AreyouaUnitarian？"continuedthelady。

"Notyet，mum，"repliedthegirl，"butIshouldliketobeone。"

Theladytookherreference，andsaidshewouldwrite。

Thenextapplicantofferedtocomeforthreepounds——thoughtsixpoundstoomuch。Sheexpressedherwillingnesstosleepinthebackkitchen：ashakedownunderthesinkwasallshewanted。ShelikewisehadyearningstowardsUnitarianism。

Thethirdgirldidnotrequireanywagesatall——couldnotunderstandwhatservantswantedwithwages——thoughtwagesonlyencouragedaloveoffoolishfinery——thoughtacomfortablehomeinaUnitarianfamilyoughttobesufficientwagesforanygirl。

Thisgirlsaidtherewasonestipulationsheshouldliketomake，andthatwasthatsheshouldbeallowedtopayforallbreakagescausedbyherowncarelessnessorneglect。Sheobjectedtoholidaysandeveningsout；sheheldthattheydistractedagirlfromherwork。

Thefourthcandidateofferedapremiumoffivepoundsfortheplace；

andthen"A。B。"begantogetfrightened，andrefusedtoseeanymoreofthegirls，convincedthattheymustbelunaticsfromsomeneighbouringasylumoutforawalk。

Laterintheday，meetingthenext—doorladyonthedoor—step，sherelatedhermorning’sexperiences。

"Oh，that’snothingextraordinary，"saidthenext—doorlady；"noneofusonthissideofthestreetpaywages；andwegetthepickofallthebestservantsinLondon。Why，girlswillcomefromtheotherendofthekingdomtogetintooneofthesehouses。It’sthedreamoftheirlives。Theysaveupforyears，soastobeabletocomeherefornothing。"

"What’stheattraction？"asked"A。B。，"moreamazedthanever。

"Why，don’tyousee，"explainedthenextdoorlady，"ourbackwindowsopenuponthebarrackyard。Agirllivinginoneofthesehousesisalwaysclosetosoldiers。Bylookingoutofwindowshecanalwaysseesoldiers；andsometimesasoldierwillnodtoherorevencalluptoher。Theyneverdreamofaskingforwages。They’llworkeighteenhoursaday，andputupwithanythingjusttobeallowedtostop。"

"A。B。"profitedbythisinformation，andengagedthegirlwhoofferedthefivepoundspremium。Shefoundheraperfecttreasureofaservant。Shewasinvariablywillingandrespectful，sleptonasofainthekitchen，andwasalwayscontentedwithaneggforherdinner。

ThetruthofthisstoryIcannotvouchfor。Myself，Icanbelieveit。BrownandMacShaughnassymadenoattempttodoso，whichseemedunfriendly。Jephsonexcusedhimselfonthepleaofaheadache。I

admittherearepointsinitpresentingdifficultiestotheaverageintellect。AsIexplainedatthecommencement，itwastoldtomebyEthelbertha，whohaditfromAmenda，whogotitfromthechar—woman，andexaggerationsmayhavecreptintoit。Thefollowing，however，wereincidentsthatcameundermyownpersonalobservation。TheyaffordedastillstrongerexampleoftheinfluenceexercisedbyTommyAtkinsupontheBritishdomestic，andIthereforethoughtitrighttorelatethem。

"Theheroineofthem，"Isaid，"isourAmenda。Now，youwouldcallheratolerablywell—behaved，orderlyyoungwoman，wouldyounot？"

"Sheismyidealofunostentatiousrespectability，"answeredMacShaughnassy"Thatwasmyopinionalso，"Ireplied。"Youcan，therefore，imaginemyfeelingsonpassingheroneeveningintheFolkestoneHighStreetwithaPanamahatuponherhead（MYPanamahat），andasoldier’sarmroundherwaist。ShewasoneofamobfollowingthebandoftheThirdBerkshireInfantry，thenincampatSandgate。Therewasanecstatic，far—awaylookinhereyes。Shewasdancingratherthanwalking，andwithherlefthandshebeattimetothemusic。

"Ethelberthawaswithmeatthetime。Westaredaftertheprocessionuntilithadturnedthecorner，andthenwestaredateachother。

"’Oh，it’simpossible，’saidEthelberthatome。

"’Butthatwasmyhat，’IsaidtoEthelbertha。

"ThemomentwereachedhomeEthelberthalookedforAmenda，andI

lookedformyhat。Neitherwastobefound。

"Nineo’clockstruck，teno’clockstruck。Athalf—pastten，wewentdownandgotourownsupper，andhaditinthekitchen。Ataquarter—pasteleven，Amendareturned。Shewalkedintothekitchenwithoutaword，hungmyhatupbehindthedoor，andcommencedclearingawaythesupperthings。

"Ethelbertharose，calmbutsevere。

"’Wherehaveyoubeen，Amenda？’sheinquired。

"’Gaddinghalfoverthecountywithalotoflowsoldiers，’answeredAmenda，continuingherwork。

"’Youhadonmyhat，’Iadded。

"’Yes，sir，’repliedAmenda，stillcontinuingherwork，’itwasthefirstthingthatcametohand。WhatI’mthankfulforisthatitwasn’tmissis’sbestbonnet。’

"WhetherEthelberthawasmollifiedbytheproperspiritdisplayedinthislastremark，Icannotsay，butIthinkitprobable。Atallevents，itwasinavoicemoreofsorrowthanofangerthatsheresumedherexamination。

"’Youwerewalkingwithasoldier’sarmaroundyourwaistwhenwepassedyou，Amenda？’sheobservedinterrogatively。

"’Iknow，mum，’admittedAmenda，’Ifoundittheremyselfwhenthemusicstopped。’

"Ethelberthalookedherinquiries。Amendafilledasaucepanwithwater，andthenrepliedtothem。

"’I’madisgracetoadecenthousehold，’shesaid；’nomistresswhorespectedherselfwouldkeepmeamoment。Ioughttobeputonthedoorstepwithmyboxandamonth’swages。’

"’Butwhydidyoudoitthen？’saidEthelbertha，withnaturalastonishment。

"’BecauseI’mahelplessninny，mum。Ican’thelpmyself；ifIseesoldiersI’mboundtofollowthem。Itrunsinourfamily。MypoorcousinEmmawasjustsuchanotherfool。Shewasengagedtobemarriedtoaquiet，respectableyoungfellowwithashopofhisown，andthreedaysbeforetheweddingsheranoffwitharegimentofmarinestoChathamandmarriedthecolour—sergeant。That’swhatI

shallendbydoing。I’vebeenallthewaytoSandgatewiththatlotyousawmewith，andI’vekissedfourofthem——thenastywretches。

I’manicesortofgirltobewalkingoutwitharespectablemilkman。’

"Shewassodeeplydisgustedwithherselfthatitseemedsuperfluousforanybodyelsetobeindignantwithher；andEthelberthachangedhertoneandtriedtocomforther。

"’Oh，you’llgetoverallthatnonsense，Amenda，’shesaid，laughingly；’youseeyourselfhowsillyitis。YoumusttellMr。

Bowlestokeepyouawayfromsoldiers。’

"’Ah，Ican’tlookatitinthesamelightwaythatyoudo，mum，’

returnedAmenda，somewhatreprovingly；’agirlthatcan’tseeabitofredmarchingdownthestreetwithoutwantingtorushoutandfollowitain’tfittobeanybody’swife。Why，Ishouldbeleavingtheshopwithnobodyinitabouttwiceaweek，andhe’dhavetogotheroundofallthebarracksinLondon，lookingforme。Ishallsaveupandgetmyselfintoalunaticasylum，that’swhatIshalldo。’

"Ethelberthabegantogrowquitetroubled。’Butsurelythisissomethingaltogethernew，Amenda，’shesaid；’youmusthaveoftenmetsoldierswhenyou’vebeenoutinLondon？’

"’Ohyes，oneortwoatatime，walkingaboutanyhow，Icanstandthatallright。It’swhenthere’salotofthemwithabandthatI

losemyhead。’

"’Youdon’tknowwhatit’slike，mum，’sheadded，noticingEthelbertha’spuzzledexpression；’you’veneverhadit。Ionlyhopeyounevermay。’

"WekeptacarefulwatchoverAmendaduringtheremainderofourstayatFolkestone，andananxioustimewehadofit。Everydaysomeregimentorotherwouldmarchthroughthetown，andatthefirstsoundofitsmusicAmendawouldbecomerestlessandexcited。

ThePiedPiper’sreedcouldnothavestirredtheHamelinchildrendeeperthandidthoseSandgatebandstheheartofourdomestic。

Fortunately，theygenerallypassedearlyinthemorningwhenwewereindoors，butoneday，returninghometolunch，wehearddistantstrainsdyingawayupontheHytheRoad。Wehurriedin。Ethelbertharandownintothekitchen；itwasempty！——upintoAmenda’sbedroom；

itwasvacant！Wecalled。Therewasnoanswer。

"’Thatmiserablegirlhasgoneoffagain，’saidEthelbertha。’Whataterriblemisfortuneitisforher。It’squiteadisease。’

"EthelberthawantedmetogotoSandgatecampandinquireforher。

Iwassorryforthegirlmyself，butthepictureofayoungandinnocent—lookingmanwanderingaboutacomplicatedcamp，inquiringforalostdomestic，presentingitselftomymind，IsaidthatI’drathernot。

Ethelberthathoughtmeheartless，andsaidthatifIwouldnotgoshewouldgoherself。IrepliedthatIthoughtonefemalememberofmyhouseholdwasenoughinthatcampatatime，andrequestedhernotto。Ethelberthaexpressedhersenseofmyinhumanbehaviourbyhaughtilydecliningtoeatanylunch，andIexpressedmysenseofherunreasonablenessbysweepingthewholemealintothegrate，afterwhichEthelberthasuddenlydevelopedexuberantaffectionforthecat（whodidn’twantanybody’slove，butwantedtogetunderthegrateafterthelunch），andIbecamesupernaturallyabsorbedintheday—before—yesterday’snewspaper。

"Intheafternoon，strollingoutintothegarden，Iheardthefaintcryofafemaleindistress。Ilistenedattentively，andthecrywasrepeated。IthoughtitsoundedlikeAmenda’svoice，butwhereitcamefromIcouldnotconceive。Itdrewnearer，however，asI

approachedthebottomofthegarden，andatlastIlocateditinasmallwoodenshed，usedbytheproprietorofthehouseasadark—

roomfordevelopingphotographs。

"Thedoorwaslocked。’Isthatyou，Amenda？’Icriedthroughthekeyhole。

"’Yes，sir，’camebackthemuffledanswer。’Willyoupleaseletmeout？you’llfindthekeyonthegroundnearthedoor。’

"Idiscovereditonthegrassaboutayardaway，andreleasedher。

’Wholockedyouin？’Iasked。

"’Idid，sir，’shereplied；’Ilockedmyselfin，andpushedthekeyoutunderthedoor。Ihadtodoit，orIshouldhavegoneoffwiththosebeastlysoldiers。’

"’IhopeIhaven’tinconveniencedyou，sir，’sheadded，steppingout；’Ileftthelunchalllaid。’"

Amenda’spassionforsoldierswasheronetributetosentiment。

Towardsallothersofthemalesexshemaintainedanattitudeofcallousunsusceptibility，andherengagementswiththem（whichwerenumerous）wereenteredintoorabandonedongroundssosordidastoseriouslyshockEthelbertha。

Whenshecametousshewasengagedtoaporkbutcher——withamilkmaninreserve。ForAmenda’ssakewedealtwiththeman，butweneverlikedhim，andwelikedhisporkstillless。When，therefore，Amendaannouncedtousthatherengagementwithhimwas"off，"andintimatedthatherfeelingswouldinnowaysufferbyourgoingelsewhereforourbacon，wesecretlyrejoiced。

"Iamconfidentyouhavedoneright，Amenda，"saidEthelbertha；"youwouldneverhavebeenhappywiththatman。"

"No，mum，Idon’tthinkIevershould，"repliedAmenda。"Idon’tseehowanygirlcouldashadn’tthedigestionofanostrich。"

Ethelberthalookedpuzzled。"Butwhathasdigestiongottodowithit？"sheasked。

"Aprettygooddeal，mum，"answeredAmenda，"whenyou’rethinkingofmarryingamanascan’tmakeasausagefittoeat。"

"But，surely，"exclaimedEthelbertha，"youdon’tmeantosayyou’rebreakingoffthematchbecauseyoudon’tlikehissausages！"

"Well，Isupposethat’swhatitcomesto，"agreedAmenda，unconcernedly。

"Whatanawfulidea！"sighedpoorEthelbertha，afteralongpause。

"Doyouthinkyoueverreallylovedhim？"

"Ohyes，"saidAmenda，"Ilovedhimrightenough，butit’snogoodlovingamanthatwantsyoutoliveonsausagesthatkeepyouawakeallnight。"

"Butdoeshewantyoutoliveonsausages？"persistedEthelbertha。

"Oh，hedoesn’tsayanythingaboutit，"explainedAmenda；"butyouknowwhatitis，mum，whenyoumarryaporkbutcher；you’reexpectedtoeatwhat’sleftover。That’sthemistakemypoorcousinElizamade。Shemarriedamuffinman。Ofcourse，whathedidn’tselltheyhadtofinishupthemselves。Why，onewinter，whenhehadarunofbadluck，theylivedfortwomonthsonnothingbutmuffins。

Ineversawagirlsochangedinallmylife。Onehastothinkofthesethings，youknow。"

ButthemostshamefullymercenaryengagementthatIthinkAmendaeverenteredinto，wasonewitha’busconductor。WewerelivinginthenorthofLondonthen，andshehadayoungman，acheesemonger，whokeptashopinLupusStreet，Chelsea。Hecouldnotcomeuptoherbecauseoftheshop，soonceaweeksheusedtogodowntohim。

Onedidnotridetenmilesforapennyinthosedays，andshefoundthefarefromHollowaytoVictoriaandbackaseveretaxuponherpurse。Thesame’busthattookherdownatsixbroughtherbackatten。Duringthefirstjourneythe’busconductorstaredatAmenda；

duringthesecondhetalkedtoher，duringthethirdhegaveheracocoanut，duringthefourthheproposedtoher，andwaspromptlyaccepted。Afterthat，Amendawasenabledtovisithercheesemongerwithoutexpense。

Hewasaquaintcharacterhimself，this’busconductor。IoftenrodewithhimtoFleetStreet。Heknewmequitewell（IsupposeAmendamusthavepointedmeouttohim），andwouldalwaysaskmeafterher——aloud，beforealltheotherpassengers，whichwastrying—

—andgivememessagestotakebacktoher。Wherewomenwereconcernedhehadwhatiscalled"away"withhim，andfromtheextentandvarietyofhisfemaleacquaintance，andtheevidenttendernesswithwhichthemajorityofthemregardedhim，IaminclinedtohopethatAmenda’sdesertionofhim（whichhappenedcontemporaneouslywithherjiltingofthecheesemonger）causedhimlessprolongedsufferingthanmightotherwisehavebeenthecase。

HewasamanfromwhomIderivedagooddealofamusementonewayandanother。Thinkingofhimbringsbacktomymindasomewhatoddincident。

Oneafternoon，Ijumpeduponhis’busintheSevenSistersRoad。AnelderlyFrenchmanwastheonlyotheroccupantofthevehicle。"Youvilnotforgetme，"theFrenchmanwassayingasIentered，"IdesireSharingCross。"

"Iwon’tforgetyer，"answeredtheconductor，"youshall’aveyerSharingCross。Don’tmakeafussaboutit。"

"That’sthethirdtime’ee’sarstmenottoforget’im，"heremarkedtomeinastentorianaside；"’eedon’tgiv’yermuchchanceofdoin’it，does’ee？"

AtthecorneroftheHollowayRoadwedrewup，andourconductorbegantoshoutafterthemannerofhisspecies："CharingCross——

CharingCross——’ereyerare——Comealong，lady——CharingCross。"

ThelittleFrenchmanjumpedup，andpreparedtoexit；theconductorpushedhimback。

"Sitdownanddon’tbesilly，"hesaid；"thisain’tCharingCross。"

TheFrenchmanlookedpuzzled，butcollapsedmeekly。Wepickedupafewpassengers，andproceededonourway。HalfamileuptheLiverpoolRoadaladystoodonthekerbregardingusaswepassedwiththatpatheticminglingofdesireanddistrustwhichistheaveragewoman’sattitudetowardsconveyancesofallkinds。Ourconductorstopped。

"Whered’yerwanttogoto？"heaskedherseverely——"Strand——CharingCross？"

TheFrenchmandidnothearordidnotunderstandthefirstpartofthespeech，buthecaughtthewords"CharingCross，"andbouncedupandoutontothestep。Theconductorcollaredhimashewasgettingoff，andjerkedhimbacksavagely。

"Carn’tyerkeepstillaminute，"hecriedindignantly；"blessedifyoudon’twantlookin’afterlikeabloomin’kid。"

"IvonttobeputdownatSharingCross，"answeredtheFrenchman，humbly。

"YouvonttobeputdownatSharingCross，"repeatedtheotherbitterly，asheledhimbacktohisseat。"IshallputyerdowninthemiddleoftheroadifI’avemuchmoreofyer。YoustoptheretillIcomeandslingyerout。Iain’tlikelytoletyergomuchpastyerSharingCross，Ishallbetoojollygladtogetrido’

yer。"

ThepoorFrenchmansubsided，andwejoltedon。At"TheAngel"we，ofcourse，stopped。"CharingCross，"shoutedtheconductor，andupsprangtheFrenchman。

"Oh，myGawd，"saidtheconductor，takinghimbytheshouldersandforcinghimdownintothecornerseat，"wotamItodo？Carn’tsomebodysiton’im？"

Heheldhimfirmlydownuntilthe’busstarted，andthenreleasedhim。AtthetopofChanceryLanethesamescenetookplace，andthepoorlittleFrenchmanbecameexasperated。

"HekeepsayingSharingCross，SharingCross，"heexclaimed，turningtotheotherpassengers；"anditisNOSharingCross。Heisfool。"

"Carn’tyerunderstand，"retortedtheconductor，equallyindignant；

"ofcourseIsaySharingCross——ImeanCharingCross，butthatdon’tmeanthatitISCharingCross。Thatmeans——"andthenperceivingfromtheblanklookontheFrenchman’sfacetheutterimpossibilityofevermakingthemattercleartohim，heturnedtouswithanappealinggesture，andasked：

"DoesanygentlemanknowtheFrenchfor’bloomin’idiot’？"

Adayortwoafterwards，Ihappenedtoenterhisomnibusagain。

"Well，"Iaskedhim，"didyougetyourFrenchfriendtoCharingCrossallright？"

"No，sir，"hereplied，"you’ll’ardlybelieveit，butI’adabitofarowwithapolicemanjustbeforeIgottothecorner，anditput’imcleanouto’my’ead。BlessedifIdidn’trun’imontoVictoria。"

CHAPTERXI

SaidBrownoneevening，"Thereisbutonevice，andthatisselfishness。"

Jephsonwasstandingbeforethefirelightinghispipe。Hepuffedthetobaccointoaglow，threwthematchintotheembers，andthensaid：

"Andtheseedofallvirtuealso。"

"Sitdownandgetonwithyourwork，"saidMacShaughnassyfromthesofawherehelayatfulllengthwithhisheelsonachair；"we’rediscussingthenovel。Paradoxesnotadmittedduringbusinesshours。"

Jephson，however，wasinanargumentativemood。

"Selfishness，"hecontinued，"ismerelyanothernameforWill。

Everydeed，goodorbad，thatwedoispromptedbyselfishness。Wearecharitabletosecureourselvesagoodplaceinthenextworld，tomakeourselvesrespectedinthis，toeaseourowndistressattheknowledgeofsuffering。Onemaniskindbecauseitgiveshimpleasuretobekind，justasanotheriscruelbecausecrueltypleaseshim。Agreatmandoeshisdutybecausetohimthesenseofdutydoneisadeeperdelightthanwouldbethecaseresultingfromavoidanceofduty。Thereligiousmanisreligiousbecausehefindsajoyinreligion；themoralmanmoralbecausewithhisstrongself—

respect，viciousnesswouldmeanwretchedness。Self—sacrificeitselfisonlyasubtleselfishness：wepreferthementalexaltationgainedtherebytothesensualgratificationwhichisthealternativereward。Mancannotbeanythingelsebutselfish。Selfishnessisthelawofalllife。Eachthing，fromthefarthestfixedstartothesmallestinsectcrawlingontheearth，fightingforitselfaccordingtoitsstrength；andbroodingoverall，theEternal，workingforHIMSELF：thatistheuniverse。"

"Havesomewhisky，"saidMacShaughnassy；"anddon’tbesocomplicatedlymetaphysical。Youmakemyheadache。"

"Ifallaction，goodandbad，springfromselfishness，"repliedBrown，"thentheremustbegoodselfishnessandbadselfishness：

andyourbadselfishnessismyplainselfishness，withoutanyadjective，sowearebackwherewestarted。Isayselfishness——badselfishness——istherootofallevil，andthereyouareboundtoagreewithme。"

"Notalways，"persistedJephson；"I’veknownselfishness——

selfishnessaccordingtotheordinarilyacceptedmeaningoftheterm——tobeproductiveofgoodactions。Icangiveyouaninstance，ifyoulike。"

"Hasitgotamoral？"askedMacShaughnassy，drowsily，Jephsonmusedamoment。"Yes，"hesaidatlength；"averypracticalmoral——andoneveryusefultoyoungmen。"

"That’sthesortofstorywewant，"saidtheMacShaughnassy，raisinghimselfintoasittingposition。"Youlistentothis，Brown。"

Jephsonseatedhimselfuponachair，inhisfavouriteattitude，withhiselbowsrestingupontheback，andsmokedforawhileinsilence。

"Therearethreepeopleinthisstory，"hebegan；"thewife，thewife’shusband，andtheotherman。Inmostdramasofthistype，itisthewifewhoisthechiefcharacter。Inthiscase，theinterestingpersonistheotherman。