第4章

"Asnakegotintoyourhen-runyesterdaymorningandkilledsixoutofsevenpullets，firstmesmerisingthemwithitseyesandthenbitingthemastheystoodhelpless。TheseventhpulletwasoneofthatFrenchsort，withfeathersalloveritseyes，soitescapedthemesmericsnare，andjustflewatwhatitcouldseeofthesnakeandpeckedittopieces。"

"Thankyou，"saidBlenkinthropestiffly；"it\'saverycleverinvention。Ifsuchathinghadreallyhappenedinmypoultry-runIadmitIshouldhavebeenproudandinterestedtotellpeopleaboutit。ButI\'drathersticktofact，evenifitisplainfact。"AllthesamehisminddweltwistfullyonthestoryoftheSeventhPullet。Hecouldpicturehimselftellingitinthetrainamidtheabsorbedinterestofhisfellow-passengers。

Unconsciouslyallsortsoflittledetailsandimprovementsbegantosuggestthemselves。

Wistfulnesswasstillhisdominantmoodwhenhetookhisseatintherailwaycarriagethenextmorning。

OppositehimsatStevenham，whohadattainedtoarecognisedbrevetofimportancethroughthefactofanunclehavingdroppeddeadintheactofvotingataParliamentaryelection。Thathadhappenedthreeyearsago，butStevenhamwasstilldeferredtoonallquestionsofhomeandforeignpolitics。

"Hullo，how\'sthegiantmushroom，orwhateveritwas？"wasallthenoticeBlenkinthropegotfromhisfellowtravellers。

YoungDuckby，whomhemildlydisliked，speedilymonopolisedthegeneralattentionbyanaccountofadomesticbereavement。

"Hadfouryoungpigeonscarriedofflastnightbyawhackingbigrat。Oh，amonsterhemusthavebeen；youcouldtellbythesizeoftheholehemadebreakingintotheloft。"

Nomoderate-sizedrateverseemedtocarryoutanypredatoryoperationsintheseregions；theywereallenormousintheirenormity。

"Prettyhardlinesthat，"continuedDuckby，seeingthathehadsecuredtheattentionandrespectofthecompany；"foursqueakerscarriedoffatoneswoop。You\'dfinditratherhardtomatchthatinthewayofunlooked-

forbadluck。"

"Ihadsixpulletsoutofapenofsevenkilledbyasnakeyesterdayafternoon，"saidBlenkinthrope，inavoicewhichhehardlyrecognisedashisown。

"Byasnake？"cameinexcitedchorus。

"Itfascinatedthemwithitsdeadly，glitteringeyes，oneaftertheother，andstruckthemdownwhiletheystoodhelpless。Abedriddenneighbour，whowasn\'tabletocallforassistance，witnesseditallfromherbedroomwindow。"

"Well，Inever！"brokeinthechorus，withvariations。

"Theinterestingpartofitisabouttheseventhpullet，theonethatdidn\'tgetkilled，"resumedBlenkinthrope，slowlylightingacigarette。Hisdiffidencehadlefthim，andhewasbeginningtorealisehowsafeandeasydepravitycanseemonceonehasthecouragetobegin。"ThesixdeadbirdswereMinorcas；theseventhwasaHoudanwithamopoffeathersalloveritseyes。Itcouldhardlyseethesnakeatall，soofcourseitwasn\'tmesmerisedliketheothers。Itjustcouldseesomethingwrigglingontheground，andwentforitandpeckedittodeath。"

"Well，I\'mblessed！"exclaimedthechorus。

InthecourseofthenextfewdaysBlenkinthropediscoveredhowlittlethelossofone\'sself-respectaffectsonewhenonehasgainedtheesteemoftheworld。

Hisstoryfounditswayintooneofthepoultrypapers，andwascopiedthenceintoadailynews-sheetasamatterofgeneralinterest。AladywrotefromtheNorthofScotlandrecountingasimilarepisodewhichshehadwitnessedasoccurringbetweenastoatandablindgrouse。Somehowalieseemssomuchlessreprehensiblewhenonecancallitalee。

ForawhiletheadapteroftheSeventhPulletstoryenjoyedtothefullhisalteredstandingasapersonofconsequence，onewhohadhadsomeshareinthestrangeeventsofhistimes。ThenhewasthrustonceagainintothecoldgreybackgroundbythesuddenblossomingintoimportanceofSmith-Paddon，adailyfellow-traveller，whoselittlegirlhadbeenknockeddownandnearlyhurtbyacarbelongingtoamusical-comedyactress。Theactresswasnotinthecaratthetime，butshewasinnumerousphotographswhichappearedintheillustratedpapersofZotoDobreeninquiringafterthewell-beingofMaisie，daughterofEdmundSmith-Paddon，Esq。WiththisnewhumaninteresttoabsorbthemthetravellingcompanionswerealmostrudewhenBlenkinthropetriedtoexplainhiscontrivanceforkeepingvipersandperegrinefalconsoutofhischicken-run。

Gorworth，towhomheunburdenedhimselfinprivate，gavehimthesamecounselasheretofore。

"Inventsomething。"

"Yes，butwhat？"

Thereadyaffirmativecoupledwiththequestionbetrayedasignificantshiftingoftheethicalstandpoint。

ItwasafewdayslaterthatBlenkinthroperevealedachapteroffamilyhistorytothecustomarygatheringintherailwaycarriage。

"Curiousthinghappenedtomyaunt，theonewholivesinParis，"hebegan。Hehadseveralaunts，buttheywereallgeographicallydistributedoverGreaterLondon。

"ShewassittingonaseatintheBoistheotherafternoon，afterlunchingattheRoumanianLegation。"

Whateverthestorygainedinpicturesquenessfromthedragging-inofdiplomatic"atmosphere，"itceasedfromthatmomenttocommandanyacceptanceasarecordofcurrentevents。Gorworthhadwarnedhisneophytethatthiswouldbethecase，butthetraditionalenthusiasmoftheneophytehadtriumphedoverdiscretion。

"Shewasfeelingratherdrowsy，theeffectprobablyofthechampagne，whichshe\'snotinthehabitoftakinginthemiddleoftheday。"

Asubduedmurmurofadmirationwentroundthecompany。Blenkinthrope\'sauntswerenotusedtotakingchampagneinthemiddleoftheyear，regardingitexclusivelyasaChristmasandNewYearaccessory。

"Presentlyaratherportlygentlemanpassedbyherseatandpausedaninstanttolightacigar。Atthatmomentayoungishmancameupbehindhim，drewthebladefromaswordstick，andstabbedhimhalfadozentimesthroughandthrough。\'Scoundrel，\'hecriedtohisvictim，\'youdonotknowme。MynameisHenriLeturc。\'

Theeldermanwipedawaysomeofthebloodthatwasspatteringhisclothes，turnedtohisassailant，andsaid：`Andsincewhenhasanattemptedassassinationbeenconsideredanintroduction？\'Thenhefinishedlightinghiscigarandwalkedaway。Myaunthadintendedscreamingforthepolice，butseeingtheindifferencewithwhichtheprincipalintheaffairtreatedthemattershefeltthatitwouldbeanimpertinenceonherparttointerfere。OfcourseIneedhardlysaysheputthewholethingdowntotheeffectsofawarm，drowsyafternoonandtheLegationchampagne。Nowcomestheastonishingpartofmystory。AfortnightlaterabankmanagerwasstabbedtodeathwithaswordstickinthatverypartoftheBois。Hisassassinwasthesonofacharwomanformerlyworkingatthebank，whohadbeendismissedfromherjobbythemanageronaccountofchronicintemperance。HisnamewasHenriLeturc。"

FromthatmomentBlenkinthropewastacitlyacceptedastheMunchausenoftheparty。Noeffortwassparedtodrawhimoutfromdaytodayintheexerciseoftestingtheirpowersofcredulity，andBlenkinthrope，inthefalsesecurityofanassuredandreceptiveaudience，waxedindustriousandingeniousinsupplyingthedemandformarvels。Duckby\'ssatiricalstoryofatameotterthathadatankinthegardentoswimin，andwhinedrestlesslywheneverthewater-ratewasoverdue，wasscarcelyanunfairparodyofsomeofBlenkinthrope\'swilderefforts。AndthenonedaycameNemesis。

ReturningtohisvillaoneeveningBlenkinthropefoundhiswifesittinginfrontofapackofcards，whichshewasscrutinisingwithunusualconcentration。

"Thesameoldpatience-game？"heaskedcarelessly。

"No，dear；thisistheDeath\'sHeadpatience，themostdifficultofthemall。I\'venevergotittoworkout，andsomehowIshouldberatherfrightenedifIdid。

Motheronlygotitoutonceinherlife；shewasafraidofit，too。Hergreat-aunthaddoneitonceandfallendeadfromexcitementthenextmoment，andmotheralwayshadafeelingthatshewoulddieifsheevergotitout。

Shediedthesamenightthatshedidit。Shewasinbadhealthatthetime，certainly，butitwasastrangecoincidence。"

"Don\'tdoitifitfrightensyou，"wasBlenkinthrope\'spracticalcommentashelefttheroom。A

fewminuteslaterhiswifecalledtohim。

"John，itgavemesuchaturn，Inearlygotitout。

Onlythefiveofdiamondsheldmeupattheend。I

reallythoughtI\'ddoneit。"

"Why，youcandoit，"saidBlenkinthrope，whohadcomebacktotheroom；"ifyoushifttheeightofclubsontothatopenninethefivecanbemovedontothesix。"

Hiswifemadethesuggestedmovewithhasty，tremblingfingers，andpiledtheoutstandingcardsontotheirrespectivepacks。Thenshefollowedtheexampleofhermotherandgreat-grand-aunt。

Blenkinthropehadbeengenuinelyfondofhiswife，butinthemidstofhisbereavementonedominantthoughtobtrudeditself。Somethingsensationalandrealhadatlastcomeintohislife；nolongerwasitagrey，colourlessrecord。Theheadlineswhichmightappropriatelydescribehisdomestictragedykeptshapingthemselvesinhisbrain。"Inheritedpresentimentcomestrue。""TheDeath\'sHeadpatience：Card-gamethatjustifieditssinisternameinthreegenerations。"HewroteoutafullstoryofthefataloccurrencefortheESSEXVEDETTE，theeditorofwhichwasafriendofhis，andtoanotherfriendhegaveacondensedaccount，tobetakenuptotheofficeofoneofthehalfpennydailies。

Butinbothcaseshisreputationasaromancerstoodfatallyinthewayofthefulfilmentofhisambitions。

"NottherightthingtobeMunchauseninginatimeofsorrow"agreedhisfriendsamongthemselves，andabriefnoteofregretatthe"suddendeathofthewifeofourrespectedneighbour，Mr。JohnBlenkinthrope，fromheartfailure，"appearinginthenewscolumnofthelocalpaperwastheforlornoutcomeofhisvisionsofwidespreadpublicity。

Blenkinthropeshrankfromthesocietyofhiserstwhiletravellingcompanionsandtooktotravellingtownwardsbyanearliertrain。Hesometimestriestoenlistthesympathyandattentionofachanceacquaintanceindetailsofthewhistlingprowessofhisbestcanaryorthedimensionsofhislargestbeetroot；hescarcelyrecogniseshimselfasthemanwhowasoncespokenaboutandpointedoutastheowneroftheSeventhPullet。

THEBLINDSPOT

"YOU\'VEjustcomebackfromAdelaide\'sfuneral，haven\'tyou？"saidSirLulworthtohisnephew；"Isupposeitwasverylikemostotherfunerals？"

"I\'lltellyouallaboutitatlunch，"saidEgbert。

"You\'lldonothingofthesort。Itwouldn\'tberespectfuleithertoyourgreat-aunt\'smemoryortothelunch。WebeginwithSpanisholives，thenaborshch，thenmoreolivesandabirdofsomekind，andaratherenticingRhenishwine，notatallexpensiveaswinesgointhiscountry，butstillquitelaudableinitsway。

Nowthere\'sabsolutelynothinginthatmenuthatharmonisesintheleastwiththesubjectofyourgreat-

auntAdelaideorherfuneral。Shewasacharmingwoman，andquiteasintelligentasshehadanyneedtobe，butsomehowshealwaysremindedmeofanEnglishcook\'sideaofaMadrascurry。"

"Sheusedtosayyouwerefrivolous，"saidEgbert。

Somethinginhistonesuggestedthatheratherendorsedtheverdict。

"IbelieveIonceconsiderablyscandalisedherbydeclaringthatclearsoupwasamoreimportantfactorinlifethanaclearconscience。Shehadverylittlesenseofproportion。Bytheway，shemadeyouherprincipalheir，didn\'tshe？"

"Yes，"saidEgbert，"andexecutoraswell。It\'sinthatconnectionthatIparticularlywanttospeaktoyou。"

"Businessisnotmystrongpointatanytime，"saidSirLulworth，"andcertainlynotwhenwe\'reontheimmediatethresholdoflunch。"

"Itisn\'texactlybusiness，"explainedEgbert，ashefollowedhisuncleintothedining-room。

"It\'ssomethingratherserious。Veryserious。"

"Thenwecan\'tpossiblyspeakaboutitnow，"saidSirLulworth；"noonecouldtalkseriouslyduringaborshch。Abeautifullyconstructedborshch，suchasyouaregoingtoexperiencepresently，oughtnotonlytobanishconversationbutalmosttoannihilatethought。

Lateron，whenwearriveatthesecondstageofolives，I

shallbequitereadytodiscussthatnewbookonBorrow，or，ifyoupreferit，thepresentsituationintheGrandDuchyofLuxemburg。ButIabsolutelydeclinetotalkanythingapproachingbusinesstillwehavefinishedwiththebird。"

ForthegreaterpartofthemealEgbertsatinanabstractedsilence，thesilenceofamanwhosemindisfocussedononetopic。Whenthecoffeestagehadbeenreachedhelaunchedhimselfsuddenlyathwarthisuncle\'sreminiscencesoftheCourtofLuxemburg。

"IthinkItoldyouthatgreat-auntAdelaidehadmademeherexecutor。Therewasn\'tverymuchtobedoneinthewayoflegalmatters，butIhadtogothroughherpapers。"

"Thatwouldbeafairlyheavytaskinitself。I

shouldimaginetherewerereamsoffamilyletters。"

"Stacksofthem，andmostofthemhighlyuninteresting。Therewasonepacket，however，whichI

thoughtmightrepayacarefulperusal。ItwasabundleofcorrespondencefromherbrotherPeter。"

"TheCanonoftragicmemory，"saidLulworth。

"Exactly，oftragicmemory，asyousay；atragedythathasneverbeenfathomed。"

"Probablythesimplestexplanationwasthecorrectone，"saidSirLulworth；"heslippedonthestonestaircaseandfracturedhisskullinfalling。"

Egbertshookhishead。"Themedicalevidenceallwenttoprovethattheblowontheheadwasstruckbysomeonecomingupbehindhim。Awoundcausedbyviolentcontactwiththestepscouldnotpossiblyhavebeeninflictedatthatangleoftheskull。Theyexperimentedwithadummyfigurefallingineveryconceivableposition。"

"Butthemotive？"exclaimedSirLulworth；"noonehadanyinterestindoingawaywithhim，andthenumberofpeoplewhodestroyCanonsoftheEstablishedChurchforthemerefunofkillingmustbeextremelylimited。

Ofcoursethereareindividualsofweakmentalbalancewhodothatsortofthing，buttheyseldomconcealtheirhandiwork；theyaremoregenerallyinclinedtoparadeit。"

"Hiscookwasundersuspicion，"saidEgbertshortly。

"Iknowhewas，"saidSirLulworth，"simplybecausehewasabouttheonlypersononthepremisesatthetimeofthetragedy。ButcouldanythingbesillierthantryingtofastenachargeofmurderontoSebastien？Hehadnothingtogain，infact，agooddealtolose，fromthedeathofhisemployer。TheCanonwaspayinghimquiteasgoodwagesasIwasabletoofferhimwhenI

tookhimoverintomyservice。Ihavesinceraisedthemtosomethingalittlemoreinaccordancewithhisrealworth，butatthetimehewasgladtofindanewplacewithouttroublingaboutanincreaseofwages。Peoplewerefightingrathershyofhim，andhehadnofriendsinthiscountry。No；ifanyoneintheworldwasinterestedintheprolongedlifeandunimpaireddigestionoftheCanonitwouldcertainlybeSebastien。"

"Peopledon\'talwaysweightheconsequencesoftheirrashacts，"saidEgbert，"otherwisetherewouldbeveryfewmurderscommitted。Sebastienisamanofhottemper。"

"Heisasoutherner，"admittedSirLulworth；"tobegeographicallyexactIbelievehehailsfromtheFrenchslopesofthePyrenees。Itookthatintoconsiderationwhenhenearlykilledthegardener\'sboytheotherdayforbringinghimaspurioussubstituteforsorrel。Onemustalwaysmakeallowancesfororiginandlocalityandearlyenvironment；`TellmeyourlongitudeandI\'llknowwhatlatitudetoallowyou，\'ismymotto。"

"There，yousee，"saidEgbert，"henearlykilledthegardener\'sboy。"

"MydearEgbert，betweennearlykillingagardener\'sboyandaltogetherkillingaCanonthereisawidedifference。Nodoubtyouhaveoftenfeltatemporarydesiretokillagardener\'sboy；youhavenevergivenwaytoit，andIrespectyouforyourself-control。ButI

don\'tsupposeyouhaveeverwantedtokillanoctogenarianCanon。Besides，asfarasweknow，therehadneverbeenanyquarrelordisagreementbetweenthetwomen。Theevidenceattheinquestbroughtthatoutveryclearly。"

"Ah！"saidEgbert，withtheairofamancomingatlastintoadeferredinheritanceofconversationalimportance，"thatispreciselywhatIwanttospeaktoyouabout。"

Hepushedawayhiscoffeecupanddrewapocket-bookfromhisinnerbreast-pocket。Fromthedepthsofthepocket-bookheproducedanenvelope，andfromtheenvelopeheextractedaletter，closelywritteninasmall，neathandwriting。

"OneoftheCanon\'snumerousletterstoAuntAdelaide，"heexplained，"writtenafewdaysbeforehisdeath。Hermemorywasalreadyfailingwhenshereceivedit，andIdaresaysheforgotthecontentsassoonasshehadreadit；otherwise，inthelightofwhatsubsequentlyhappened，weshouldhaveheardsomethingofthisletterbeforenow。IfithadbeenproducedattheinquestI

fancyitwouldhavemadesomedifferenceinthecourseofaffairs。Theevidence，asyouremarkedjustnow，chokedoffsuspicionagainstSebastienbydisclosinganutterabsenceofanythingthatcouldbeconsideredamotiveorprovocationforthecrime，ifcrimetherewas。"

"Oh，readtheletter，"saidSirLulworthimpatiently。

"It\'salongramblingaffair，likemostofhislettersinhislateryears，"saidEgbert。"I\'llreadthepartthatbearsimmediatelyonthemystery。

"\'IverymuchfearIshallhavetogetridofSebastien。Hecooksdivinely，buthehasthetemperofafiendorananthropoidape，andIamreallyinbodilyfearofhim。WehadadisputetheotherdayastothecorrectsortoflunchtobeservedonAshWednesday，andIgotsoirritatedandannoyedathisconceitandobstinacythatatlastIthrewacupfulofcoffeeinhisfaceandcalledhimatthesametimeanimpudentjackanapes。Verylittleofthecoffeewentactuallyinhisface，butIhaveneverseenahumanbeingshowsuchdeplorablelackofself-control。Ilaughedatthethreatofkillingmethathesplutteredoutinhisrage，andthoughtthewholethingwouldblowover，butIhaveseveraltimessincecaughthimscowlingandmutteringinahighlyunpleasantfashion，andlatelyIhavefanciedthathewasdoggingmyfootstepsaboutthegrounds，particularlywhenIwalkofaneveningintheItalianGarden。\'

"ItwasonthestepsintheItalianGardenthatthebodywasfound，"commentedEgbert，andresumedreading。

"\'Idaresaythedangerisimaginary；butIshallfeelmoreateasewhenhehasquittedmyservice。\'"

Egbertpausedforamomentattheconclusionoftheextract；then，ashisunclemadenoremark，headded："IflackofmotivewastheonlyfactorthatsavedSebastienfromprosecutionIfancythisletterwillputadifferentcomplexiononmatters。"

"Haveyoushownittoanyoneelse？"askedSirLulworth，reachingouthishandfortheincriminatingpieceofpaper。

"No，"saidEgbert，handingitacrossthetable，"I

thoughtIwouldtellyouaboutitfirst。Heavens，whatareyoudoing？"

Egbert\'svoicerosealmosttoascream。SirLulworthhadflungthepaperwellandtrulyintotheglowingcentreofthegrate。Thesmall，neathand-

writingshrivelledintoblackflakynothingness。

"Whatonearthdidyoudothatfor？"gaspedEgbert。

"ThatletterwasouronepieceofevidencetoconnectSebastienwiththecrime。"

"ThatiswhyIdestroyedit，"saidSirLulworth。

"Butwhyshouldyouwanttoshieldhim？"criedEgbert；"themanisacommonmurderer。"

"Acommonmurderer，possibly，butaveryuncommoncook。"

DUSK

NORMANGORTSBYsatonabenchinthePark，withhisbacktoastripofbush-plantedsward，fencedbytheparkrailings，andtheRowfrontinghimacrossawidestretchofcarriagedrive。HydeParkCorner，withitsrattleandhootoftraffic，layimmediatelytohisright。ItwassomethirtyminutespastsixonanearlyMarchevening，andduskhadfallenheavilyoverthescene，duskmitigatedbysomefaintmoonlightandmanystreetlamps。

Therewasawideemptinessoverroadandsidewalk，andyetthereweremanyunconsideredfiguresmovingsilentlythroughthehalf-light，ordottedunobtrusivelyonbenchandchair，scarcelytobedistinguishedfromtheshadowedgloominwhichtheysat。

ThescenepleasedGortsbyandharmonisedwithhispresentmood。Dusk，tohismind，wasthehourofthedefeated。Menandwomen，whohadfoughtandlost，whohidtheirfallenfortunesanddeadhopesasfaraspossiblefromthescrutinyofthecurious，cameforthinthishourofgloaming，whentheirshabbyclothesandbowedshouldersandunhappyeyesmightpassunnoticed，or，atanyrate，unrecognised。

Akingthatisconqueredmustseestrangelooks，Sobitterathingistheheartofman。

Thewanderersintheduskdidnotchoosetohavestrangelooksfastenonthem，thereforetheycameoutinthisbat-fashion，takingtheirpleasuresadlyinapleasure-groundthathademptiedofitsrightfuloccupants。Beyondtheshelteringscreenofbushesandpalingscamearealmofbrilliantlightsandnoisy，rushingtraffic。Ablazing，many-tieredstretchofwindowsshonethroughtheduskandalmostdispersedit，markingthehauntsofthoseotherpeople，whoheldtheirowninlife\'sstruggle，oratanyratehadnothadtoadmitfailure。SoGortsby\'simaginationpicturedthingsashesatonhisbenchinthealmostdesertedwalk。Hewasinthemoodtocounthimselfamongthedefeated。

Moneytroublesdidnotpressonhim；hadhesowishedhecouldhavestrolledintothethoroughfaresoflightandnoise，andtakenhisplaceamongthejostlingranksofthosewhoenjoyedprosperityorstruggledforit。Hehadfailedinamoresubtleambition，andforthemomenthewasheartsoreanddisillusionised，andnotdisinclinedtotakeacertaincynicalpleasureinobservingandlabellinghisfellowwanderersastheywenttheirwaysinthedarkstretchesbetweenthelamp-lights。

Onthebenchbyhissidesatanelderlygentlemanwithadroopingairofdefiancethatwasprobablytheremainingvestigeofself-respectinanindividualwhohadceasedtodefysuccessfullyanybodyoranything。Hisclothescouldscarcelybecalledshabby，atleasttheypassedmusterinthehalf-light，butone\'simaginationcouldnothavepicturedthewearerembarkingonthepurchaseofahalf-crownboxofchocolatesorlayingoutninepenceonacarnationbuttonhole。Hebelongedunmistakablytothatforlornorchestratowhosepipingnoonedances；hewasoneoftheworld\'slamenterswhoinducenoresponsiveweeping。AsherosetogoGortsbyimaginedhimreturningtoahomecirclewherehewassnubbedandofnoaccount，ortosomebleaklodgingwherehisabilitytopayaweeklybillwasthebeginningandendoftheinterestheinspired。Hisretreatingfigurevanishedslowlyintotheshadows，andhisplaceonthebenchwastakenalmostimmediatelybyayoungman，fairlywelldressedbutscarcelymorecheerfulofmienthanhispredecessor。Asiftoemphasisethefactthattheworldwentbadlywithhimthenew-cornerunburdenedhimselfofanangryandveryaudibleexpletiveasheflunghimselfintotheseat。

"Youdon\'tseeminaverygoodtemper，"saidGortsby，judgingthathewasexpectedtotakeduenoticeofthedemonstration。

Theyoungmanturnedtohimwithalookofdisarmingfranknesswhichputhiminstantlyonhisguard。

"Youwouldn\'tbeinagoodtemperifyouwereinthefixI\'min，"hesaid；"I\'vedonethesilliestthingI\'veeverdoneinmylife。"

"Yes？"saidGortsbydispassionately。

"Cameupthisafternoon，meaningtostayatthePatagonianHotelinBerkshireSquare，"continuedtheyoungman；"whenIgotthereIfoundithadbeenpulleddownsomeweeksagoandacinematheatrerunuponthesite。ThetaxidriverrecommendedmetoanotherhotelsomewayoffandIwentthere。Ijustsentalettertomypeople，givingthemtheaddress，andthenIwentouttobuysomesoap-I\'dforgottentopackanyandIhateusinghotelsoap。ThenIstrolledaboutabit，hadadrinkatabarandlookedattheshops，andwhenIcametoturnmystepsbacktothehotelIsuddenlyrealisedthatIdidn\'trememberitsnameorevenwhatstreetitwasin。There\'sanicepredicamentforafellowwhohasn\'tanyfriendsorconnectionsinLondon！OfcourseI

canwiretomypeoplefortheaddress，buttheywon\'thavegotmylettertillto-morrow；meantimeI\'mwithoutanymoney，cameoutwithaboutashillingonme，whichwentinbuyingthesoapandgettingthedrink，andhereI

am，wanderingaboutwithtwopenceinmypocketandnowheretogoforthenight。"

Therewasaneloquentpauseafterthestoryhadbeentold。"IsupposeyouthinkI\'vespunyouratheranimpossibleyarn，"saidtheyoungmanpresently，withasuggestionofresentmentinhisvoice。

"Notatallimpossible，"saidGortsbyjudicially；"I

rememberdoingexactlythesamethingonceinaforeigncapital，andonthatoccasionthereweretwoofus，whichmadeitmoreremarkable。Luckilywerememberedthatthehotelwasonasortofcanal，andwhenwestruckthecanalwewereabletofindourwaybacktothehotel。"

Theyouthbrightenedatthereminiscence。"InaforeigncityIwouldn\'tmindsomuch，"hesaid；"onecouldgotoone\'sConsulandgettherequisitehelpfromhim。Hereinone\'sownlandoneisfarmorederelictifonegetsintoafix。UnlessIcanfindsomedecentchaptoswallowmystoryandlendmesomemoneyIseemlikelytospendthenightontheEmbankment。I\'mglad，anyhow，thatyoudon\'tthinkthestoryoutrageouslyimprobable。"

Hethrewagooddealofwarmthintothelastremark，asthoughperhapstoindicatehishopethatGortsbydidnotfallfarshortoftherequisitedecency。

"Ofcourse，"saidGortsbyslowly，"theweakpointofyourstoryisthatyoucan\'tproducethesoap。"

Theyoungmansatforwardhurriedly，feltrapidlyinthepocketsofhisovercoat，andthenjumpedtohisfeet。

"Imusthavelostit，"hemutteredangrily。

"Toloseanhotelandacakeofsoapononeafternoonsuggestswilfulcarelessness，"saidGortsby，buttheyoungmanscarcelywaitedtoheartheendoftheremark。Heflittedawaydownthepath，hisheadheldhigh，withanairofsomewhatjadedjauntiness。

"Itwasapity，"musedGortsby；"thegoingouttogetone\'sownsoapwastheoneconvincingtouchinthewholestory，andyetitwasjustthatlittledetailthatbroughthimtogrief。Ifhehadhadthebrilliantforethoughttoprovidehimselfwithacakeofsoap，wrappedandsealedwithallthesolicitudeofthechemist\'scounter，hewouldhavebeenageniusinhisparticularline。Inhisparticularlinegeniuscertainlyconsistsofaninfinitecapacityfortakingprecautions。"

WiththatreflectionGortsbyrosetogo；ashedidsoanexclamationofconcernescapedhim。Lyingonthegroundbythesideofthebenchwasasmallovalpacket，wrappedandsealedwiththesolicitudeofachemist\'scounter。Itcouldbenothingelsebutacakeofsoap，andithadevidentlyfallenoutoftheyouth\'sovercoatpocketwhenheflunghimselfdownontheseat。InanothermomentGortsbywasscuddingalongthedusk-

shroudedpathinanxiousquestforayouthfulfigureinalightovercoat。Hehadnearlygivenupthesearchwhenhecaughtsightoftheobjectofhispursuitstandingirresolutelyontheborderofthecarriagedrive，evidentlyuncertainwhethertostrikeacrosstheParkormakeforthebustlingpavementsofKnightsbridge。HeturnedroundsharplywithanairofdefensivehostilitywhenhefoundGortsbyhailinghim。

"Theimportantwitnesstothegenuinenessofyourstoryhasturnedup，"saidGortsby，holdingoutthecakeofsoap；"itmusthaveslidoutofyourovercoatpocketwhenyousatdownontheseat。Isawitonthegroundafteryouleft。Youmustexcusemydisbelief，butappearanceswerereallyratheragainstyou，andnow，asI

appealedtothetestimonyofthesoapIthinkIoughttoabidebyitsverdict。Iftheloanofasovereignisanygoodtoyou-"

Theyoungmanhastilyremovedalldoubtonthesubjectbypocketingthecoin。

"Hereismycardwithmyaddress，"continuedGortsby；"anydaythisweekwilldoforreturningthemoney，andhereisthesoap-don\'tloseitagainit\'sbeenagoodfriendtoyou。"

"Luckythingyourfindingit，"saidtheyouth，andthen，withacatchinhisvoice，heblurtedoutawordortwoofthanksandfledheadlonginthedirectionofKnightsbridge。

"Poorboy，heasnearlyaspossiblebrokedown，"

saidGortsbytohimself。"Idon\'twondereither；therelieffromhisquandarymusthavebeenacute。It\'salessontomenottobetoocleverinjudgingbycircumstances。"

AsGortsbyretracedhisstepspasttheseatwherethelittledramahadtakenplacehesawanelderlygentlemanpokingandpeeringbeneathitandonallsidesofit，andrecognisedhisearlierfellowoccupant。

"Haveyoulostanything，sir？"heasked。

"Yes，sir，acakeofsoap。"

ATOUCHOFREALISM

"IHOPEyou\'vecomefullofsuggestionsforChristmas，"saidLadyBlonzetoherlatestarrivedguest；

"theold-fashionedChristmasandtheup-to-dateChristmasarebothsoplayedout。Iwanttohavesomethingreallyoriginalthisyear。"

"IwasstayingwiththeMathesonslastmonth，"saidBlancheBovealeagerly，"andwehadsuchagoodidea。

Everyoneinthehouse-partyhadtobeacharacterandbehaveconsistentlyallthetime，andattheendofthevisitonehadtoguesswhateveryone\'scharacterwas。

Theonewhowasvotedtohaveactedhisorhercharacterbestgotaprize。"

"Itsoundsamusing，"saidLadyBlonze。

"IwasSt。FrancisofAssisi，"continuedBlanche；

"wehadn\'tgottokeeptoourrightsexes。Ikeptgettingupinthemiddleofameal，andthrowingoutfoodtothebirds；yousee，thechiefthingthatoneremembersofSt。Francisisthathewasfondofthebirds。Everyonewassostupidaboutit，andthoughtthatIwastheoldmanwhofeedsthesparrowsintheTuileriesGardens。

ThenColonelPentleywastheJollyMilleronthebanksofDee。"

"Howonearthdidhedothat？"askedBertievanTahn。

"\'Helaughedandsangfrommorntillnight，\'"

explainedBlanche。

"Howdreadfulfortherestofyou，"saidBertie；

"andanywayhewasn\'tonthebanksofDee。"

"Onehadtoimaginethat，"saidBlanche。

"Ifyoucouldimagineallthatyoumightaswellimaginecattleonthefurtherbankandkeeponcallingthemhome，Mary-fashion，acrossthesandsofDee。OryoumightchangetherivertotheYarrowandimagineitwasonthetopofyou，andsayyouwereWillie，orwhoeveritwas，drownedinYarrow。"

"Ofcourseit\'seasytomakefunofit，"saidBlanchesharply，"butitwasextremelyinterestingandamusing。Theprizewasratherafiasco，though。Yousee，MillieMathesonsaidhercharacterwasLadyBountiful，andasshewasourhostessofcourseweallhadtovotethatshehadcarriedouthercharacterbetterthananyone。OtherwiseIoughttohavegottheprize。"

"It\'squiteanideaforaChristmasparty，"saidLadyBlonze；"wemustcertainlydoithere。"

SirNicholaswasnotsoenthusiastic。"Areyouquitesure，mydear，thatyou\'rewiseindoingthisthing？"hesaidtohiswifewhentheywerealonetogether。"ItmightdoverywellattheMathesons，wheretheyhadratherastaid，elderlyhouse-party，buthereitwillbeadifferentmatter。ThereistheDurmotflapper，forinstance，whosimplystopsatnothing，andyouknowwhatVanTahnislike。ThenthereisCyrilSkatterly；hehasmadnessononesideofhisfamilyandaHungariangrandmotherontheother。"

"Idon\'tseewhattheycoulddothatwouldmatter，"

saidLadyBlonze。

"It\'stheunknownthatistobedreaded，"saidSirNicholas。"IfSkatterlytookitintohisheadtorepresentaBullofBashan，well，I\'drathernotbehere。"

"Ofcourseweshan\'tallowanyBiblecharacters。

Besides，Idon\'tknowwhattheBullsofBashanreallydidthatwassoverydreadful；theyjustcameroundandgaped，asfarasIremember。"

"Mydear，youdon\'tknowwhatSkatterly\'sHungarianimaginationmightn\'treadintothepart；itwouldbesmallsatisfactiontosaytohimafterwards：\'You\'vebehavedasnoBullofBashanwouldhavebehaved。\'"

"Oh，you\'reanalarmist，"saidLadyBlonze；I

particularlywanttohavethisideacarriedout。Itwillbesuretobetalkedaboutalot。"

"Thatisquitepossible，"saidSirNicholas。

****

Dinnerthateveningwasnotaparticularlylivelyaffair；thestrainoftryingtoimpersonateaself-

imposedcharacterortogleanhintsofidentityfromotherpeople\'sconductactedasacheckonthenaturalfestivityofsuchagathering。Therewasageneralfeelingofgratitudeandacquiescencewhengood-naturedRachelKlammersteinsuggestedthatthereshouldbeanhourortwo\'srespitefrom"thegame"whiletheyalllistenedtoalittlepiano-playingafterdinner。

Rachel\'sloveofpianomusicwasnotindiscriminate，andconcentrateditselfchieflyonselectionsrenderedbyheridolisedoffspring，MoritzandAugusta，who，todothemjustice，playedremarkablywell。

TheKlammersteinsweredeservedlypopularasChristmasguests；theygaveexpensivegiftslavishlyonChristmasDayandNewYear，andMrs。Klammersteinhadalreadydroppedhintsofherintentiontopresenttheprizeforthebestenactedcharacterinthegamecompetition。Everyonehadbrightenedatthisprospect；

ifithadfallentoLadyBlonze，ashostess，toprovidetheprize，shewouldhaveconsideredthatalittlesouvenirofsometwentyortwenty-fiveshillings\'valuewouldmeetthecase，whereascomingfromaKlammersteinsourceitwouldcertainlyruntoseveralguineas。

TheclosetimeforimpersonationeffortscametoanendwiththefinalwithdrawalofMoritzandAugustafromthepiano。BlancheBovealretiredearly，leavingtheroominaseriesoflabouredleapsthatshehopedmightberecognisedasatolerableimitationofPavlova。VeraDurmot，thesixteen-year-oldflapper，expressedherconfidentopinionthattheperformancewasintendedtotypifyMarkTwain\'sfamousjumpingfrog，andherdiagnosisofthecasefoundgeneralacceptance。Anotherguesttosetanexampleofearlybed-goingwasWaldoPlubley，whoconductedhislifeonaminutelyregulatedsystemoftime-tablesandhygienicroutine。Waldowasaplump，indolentyoungmanofseven-and-twenty，whosemotherhadearlyinhislifedecidedforhimthathewasunusuallydelicate，andbydintofmuchcoddlingandhome-keepinghadsucceededinmakinghimphysicallysoftandmentallypeevish。Ninehours\'unbrokensleep，precededbyelaboratebreathingexercisesandotherhygienicritual，wasamongtheindispensableregulationswhichWaldoimposedonhimself，andtherewereinnumerablesmallobservanceswhichheexactedfromthosewhowereinanywayobligedtoministertohisrequirements；aspecialteapotforthedecoctionofhisearlyteawasalwayssolemnlyhandedovertothebedroomstaffofanyhouseinwhichhehappenedtobestaying。

Noonehadeverquitemasteredthemechanismofthispreciousvessel，butBertievanTahnwasresponsibleforthelegendthatitsspouthadtobekeptfacingnorthduringtheprocessofinfusion。

Onthisparticularnighttheirreducibleninehourswereseverelymutilatedbythesuddenandbynomeansnoiselessincursionofapyjama-cladfigureintoWaldo\'sroomatanhourmidwaybetweenmidnightanddawn。

"Whatisthematter？Whatareyoulookingfor？"

askedtheawakenedandastonishedWaldo，slowlyrecognisingVanTahn，whoappearedtobesearchinghastilyforsomethinghehadlost。

"Lookingforsheep，"wasthereply。

"Sheep？"exclaimedWaldo。

"Yes，sheep。Youdon\'tsupposeI\'mlookingforgiraffes，doyou？"

"Idon\'tseewhyyoushouldexpecttofindeitherinmyroom，"retortedWaldofuriously。

"Ican\'targuethematteratthishourofthenight，"saidBertie，andbeganhastilyrummaginginthechestofdrawers。Shirtsandunderwearwentflyingontothefloor。

"Therearenosheephere，Itellyou，"screamedWaldo。

"I\'veonlygotyourwordforit，"saidBertie，whiskingmostofthebedclothesontothefloor；"ifyouweren\'tconcealingsomethingyouwouldn\'tbesoagitated。"

WaldowasbythistimeconvincedthatVanTahnwasravingmad，andmadeananxious，efforttohumourhim。

"Gobacktobedlikeadearfellow，"hepleaded，"andyoursheepwillturnupallrightinthemorning。"

"Idaresay，"saidBertiegloomily，"withouttheirtails。NicefoolIshalllookwithalotofManxsheep。"

AndbywayofemphasisinghisannoyanceattheprospecthesentWaldo\'spillowsflyingtothetopofthewardrobe。

"ButWHYnotails？"askedWaldo，whoseteethwerechatteringwithfearandrageandloweredtemperature。

"Mydearboy，haveyouneverheardtheballadofLittleBo-Peep？"saidBertiewithachuckle。"It\'smycharacterintheGame，youknow。IfIdidn\'tgohuntingaboutformylostsheepnoonewouldbeabletoguesswhoIwas；andnowgotosleepyweepslikeagoodchildorI

shallbecrosswithyou。"

"Ileaveyoutoimagine，"wroteWaldointhecourseofalonglettertohismother，"howmuchsleepIwasabletorecoverthatnight，andyouknowhowessentialnineuninterruptedhoursofslumberaretomyhealth。"

OntheotherhandhewasabletodevotesomewakefulhourstoexercisesinbreathingwrathandfuryagainstBertievanTahn。

BreakfastatBlonzecourtwasascatteredmeal，onthe"comewhenyouplease"principle，butthehouse-partywassupposedtogatherinfullstrengthatlunch。Onthedayafterthe"Game"hadbeenstartedtherewere，however，somenotableabsentees。WaldoPlubley，forinstance，wasreportedtobenursingaheadache。Alargebreakfastandan"A。B。C。"hadbeentakenuptohisroom，buthehadmadenoappearanceintheflesh。

"Iexpecthe\'splayinguptosomecharacter，"saidVeraDurmot；"isn\'tthereathingofMoliere\'s，\'LE

MALADEIMAGINAIRE\'？Iexpecthe\'sthat。"

Eightorninelistscameout，andweredulypencilledwiththesuggestion。

"AndwherearetheKlammersteins？"askedLadyBlonze；"they\'reusuallysopunctual。"

"Anothercharacterpose，perhaps，"saidBertievanTahn；"\'theLostTenTribes。\'"

"Butthereareonlythreeofthem。Besides，they\'llwanttheirlunch。Hasn\'tanyoneseenanythingofthem？"

"Didn\'tyoutakethemoutinyourcar？"askedBlancheBoveal，addressingherselftoCyrilSkatterly。

"Yes，tookthemouttoSlogberryMoorimmediatelyafterbreakfast。MissDurmotcametoo。"

"IsawyouandVeracomeback，"saidLadyBlonze，"butIdidn\'tseetheKlammersteins。Didyouputthemdowninthevillage？"

"No，"saidSkatterlyshortly。

"Butwherearethey？Wheredidyouleavethem？"

"WeleftthemonSlogberryMoor，"saidVeracalmly。

"OnSlogberryMoor？Why，it\'smorethanthirtymilesaway！Howaretheygoingtogetback？"

"Wedidn\'tstoptoconsiderthat，"saidSkatterly；

"weaskedthemtogetoutforamoment，onthepretencethatthecarhadstuck，andthenwedashedofffullspeedandleftthemthere。"

"Buthowdareyoudosuchathing？It\'smostinhuman！Why，it\'sbeensnowingforthelasthour。"

"Iexpectthere\'llbeacottageorfarmhousesomewhereiftheywalkamileortwo。"

"Butwhyonearthhaveyoudoneit？"

Thequestioncameinachorusofindignantbewilderment。

"THATwouldbetellingwhatourcharactersaremeanttobe，"saidVera。

"Didn\'tIwarnyou？"saidSirNicholastragicallytohiswife。

"It\'ssomethingtodowithSpanishhistory；wedon\'tmindgivingyouthatclue，"saidSkatterly，helpinghimselfcheerfullytosalad，andthenBertievanTahnbrokeforthintopealsofjoyouslaughter。

"I\'vegotit！FerdinandandIsabelladeportingtheJews！Oh，lovely！Thosetwohavecertainlywontheprize；weshan\'tgetanythingtobeatthatforthoroughness。"

LadyBlonze\'sChristmaspartywastalkedaboutandwrittenabouttoanextentthatshehadnotanticipatedinhermostambitiousmoments。ThelettersfromWaldo\'smotherwouldalonehavemadeitmemorable。

COUSINTERESA

BASSETHARROWCLUFFreturnedtothehomeofhisfathers，afteranabsenceoffouryears，distinctlywellpleasedwithhimself。Hewasonlythirty-one，buthehadputinsomeusefulserviceinanout-of-the-way，thoughnotunimportant，corneroftheworld。Hehadquietedaprovince，keptopenatraderoute，enforcedthetraditionofrespectwhichisworththeransomofmanykingsinout-of-the-wayregions，anddonethewholebusinessonratherlessexpenditurethanwouldberequisitefororganisingacharityinthehomecountry。InWhitehallandplaceswheretheythink，theydoubtlessthoughtwellofhim。Itwasnotinconceivable，hisfatherallowedhimselftoimagine，thatBasset\'snamemightfigureinthenextlistofHonours。

Bassetwasinclinedtoberathercontemptuousofhishalf-brother，Lucas，whomhefoundfeverishlyengrossedinthesamemedleyofelaboratefutilitiesthathadclaimedhiswholetimeandenergies，suchastheywere，fouryearsago，andalmostasfarbackbeforethatashecouldremember。Itwasthecontemptofthemanofactionforthemanofactivities，anditwasprobablyreciprocated。Lucaswasanover-wellnourishedindividual，somenineyearsBasset\'ssenior，withacolouringthatwouldhavebeenacceptedasasignofintensivecultureinanasparagus，butprobablymeantinthiscasemereabstentionfromexercise。Hishairandforeheadfurnishedarecessionalnoteinapersonalitythatwasinallotherrespectsobtrusiveandassertive。

TherewascertainlynoSemiticbloodinLucas\'sparentage，buthisappearancecontrivedtoconveyatleastasuggestionofJewishextraction。ClovisSangrail，whoknewmostofhisassociatesbysight，saiditwasundoubtedlyacaseofprotectivemimicry。

TwodaysafterBasset\'sreturn，Lucasfriskedintolunchinastateoftwitteringexcitementthatcouldnotberestrainedevenfortheimmediateconsiderationofsoup，buthadtobeverballydischargedinsplutteringcompetitionwithmouthfulsofvermicelli。