第2章

Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。"Whowasthecreature？"sheaskedsharply。

"Come，"Iexpostulated，"howwouldyoulikeitifyouryoungmanhadtakentotheftand——"

"Oh，nonsense。Tellmehername，please，Mr。Carter。"

"JohnnytoldHilarythatjusttoseeherandtalktoherandsitbyhersidewas’worthallthemoney’——butthen，tobesure，itwassomebodyelse’smoney——andthathe’ddoitagaintogetwhathehadgotoveragain。Then，I’msorrytosay，heswore。"

"AndHilarybelievedthatstuff？"

"Hilaryagreedwithhim，"saidI。"Hilary，yousee，knowsthelady。"

"What’shername，Mr。Carter？"

"Didn’tyounoticehisattentionstoanyone？"

"Inotice!Youdon’tmeanthatI’veseenher？"

"Certainlyyouhave。"

"Wassheeverhere？’

"Yes，Mrs。Hilary。Hilarytakescareofthat。"

"Ishallbeangryinaminute，Mr。Carter。Oh，I’llhavethisoutofHilary!"

"Ishould。"

"Whowasshe？"

"AccordingtowhathetoldHilary，shewasthemostfascinatingwomanintheworld，Hilarythoughtso，too。"

Mrs。Hilarybegantowalkupanddown。

"Oh，soHilaryhelpedtolethimgo，becausetheyboth——？"

"Precisely，"saidI。

"Andyoudaretocomeandtellme？"

"Well，Ithoughtyououghttoknow，"saidI。"Hilary’sjustasmadaboutherasJohnny——infact，hesaidhe’dbehangedifhewouldn’thavedonethesamehimself。"

IhaveonceseenMadameRistoriplayLadyMacbeth。HerperformancewasrecalledtomebythetonesinwhichMrs。Hilaryasked：

"Whoisthiswoman，ifyouplease，Mr。Carter？"

"SoHilarygothimoff——gavehimfiftypoundstoo。"

"Gladtogethimaway，perhaps，"sheburstout，inangryscorn。

"Whoknows？"saidI。"Perhaps。"

"Hername？"demandedLadyMacbeth——ImeanMrs。Hilary——again。

"Ishan’ttellyou，unlessyoupromisetosaynothingtoHilary。"

"Tosaynothing!Well，really——"

"Oh，allright!"andItookupmyhat。

"ButIcanwatchthem，can’tI？"

"Asmuchasyoulike。"

"Won’tyoutellme？"

"Ifyoupromise。"

"Well，then，Ipromise。"

"Lookintheglass。"

"Whatfor？"

"Toseeyourface，tobesure。"

Shestarted，blushedred，andmovedasteptowardsme。

"Youdon’tmean——？"shecried。

"Thouartthewoman，"saidI。

"Oh，butheneversaidaword——"

"Johnnyhadhiscode，"saidI。"Andinsomewaysitwasbetterthansomepeople’s——insome，alas!worse。"

"AndHilary？"

"ReallyyouknowbetterthanIdowhetherI’vetoldthetruthaboutHilary。"

Apauseensued。ThenMrs。Hilarymadethreeshortremarks，whichIgiveintheirorder：

（1）"Thelittlewretch!"（2）"DearoldHilary!"（3）"Poorlittleman!"

Itookmyhat。IknewthatHilarywasduefromthecityinafewminutes。Mrs。Hilarysatdownbythefire。

"Howdareyoutormentmeso？"sheasked，butnotintheleastlikeLadyMacbeth。

"Imusthavemylittleamusements，"saidI。

"Whatanaudaciouslittlecreature!"saidMrs。Hilary。"Fancyhisdaring!——Aren’tyouastounded？"

"Oh，yes，Iam。ButHilary，yousee——"

"It’snearlyhistime，"saidMrs。Hilary。

Ibuttonedmyleftgloveandheldoutmyrighthand。

"I’veagoodmindnottoshakehandswithyou，"saidshe。

"Wasn’titabsurdofHilary？"

"Horribly。"

"Heoughttohavebeenallthemoreangry。"

"Ofcourseheought。"

"Thepresumptionofit!"AndMrs。Hilarysmiled。Ialsosmiled。

"Thatpooroldmotherofhis，"reflectedMrs。Hilary。"Wheredidyousayshelived？"

"Hilaryknowstheaddress，"saidI。

"Sillylittlewretch!"musedMrs。Hilary，stillsmiling。

"Goodbye，"saidI。

"Goodbye，"saidMrs。Hilary。

Iturnedtowardthedoorandhadlaidmyhandontheknob，whenMrs。Hilarycalledsoftly：

"Mr。Carter。"

"Yes，"saidI，turning。

"Doyouknowwherethelittlewretchhasgone？"

"Oh，yes，"saidI。

"I——Isupposeyoudon’teverwritetohim？"

"Dearme，no，"saidI。

"Butyou——could？"suggestedMrs。Hilary。

"Ofcourse，"saidI。

Shejumpedupandrantowardsme。Herpursewasinonehand，andabitofpaperflutteredintheother。

"Sendhimthat——don’ttellhim，"shewhispered，andhervoicehadalittlecatchinit。"Poorlittlewretch!"saidshe。

Asforme，Ismiledcynically——quitecynically，youknow；foritwasveryabsurd。

"Pleasedo，"saidMrs。Hilary。

AndIwent。

Supposingithadbeenanotherwoman？Well，Iwonder!

ANEXPENSIVEPRIVILEGE

Aratheruncomfortablethinghappenedtheotherdaywhichthreatenedaschisminmyacquaintanceandputmeinadecidedlyawkwardposition。Itwasnootherthanthis：Mrs。HilaryMusgravehaddefinitelyinformedmethatshedidnotapproveofLadyMickleham。Theattitudeis，nodoubt，aconceivableone，butIwassurprisedthatawomanofMrs。Hilary’slargesympathiesshouldadoptit。Besides，Mrs。Hilaryisquitegood—lookingherself。

Thehistoryoftheaffairismuchasfollows：IcalledonMrs。

HilarytoseewhetherIcoulddoanything，andshetoldmeallaboutit。ItappearsthatMrs。Hilaryhadabadcoldandacousinupfromthecountryaboutthesametime（shewasjustlyaggrievedatthedoubleevent），andbeingunabletogototheDuchessofDexminster’s"squash，"sheaskedDollyMicklehamtochaperonlittleMissPhyllis。LittleMissPhyllis，ofcourse，knewnoonethere——theDuchessleastofall——（butthenveryfewofus——yes，Iwasthere——knewtheDuchess，andtheDuchessdidn’tknowanyofus；Isawhershakehandswithawaitermyself，justtobeonthesafeside），andanhourafterthepartybeganshewasdiscoveredwanderingaboutinamostdesolatecondition。

Dollyhadtoldherthatshewouldbeinacertainplace；andwhenMissPhylliscame，Dollywasnotthere。Thepoorlittleladywanderedaboutforanotherhour，lookingsolostthatonewasinclinedtosendforapoliceman；andthenshesatdownonaseatbythewall，and，indesperation，askedhernext—doorneighborifheknewLadyMicklehambysight，andhadheseenherlately？Thenext—doorneighbor，bywayofreply，calledouttoaquietelderlygentlemanwhowassidlingunobtrusivelyabout，"Duke，arethereanyparticularlysnugcornersinyourhouse？"TheDukestopped，searchedhismemory，andsaidthatattheendoftheRedCorridortherewasapassage，andthatafewyardsdownthepassage，ifyouturnedverysuddenlytotheright，youwouldcomeonalittlenookunderthestairs。Thelittlenookjustheldasettee，andthesettee（theDukethought）mightjustholdtwopeople。Thenext—doorneighborthankedtheDuke，andobservedtoMissPhyllis——

"ItwillgivemegreatpleasuretotakeyoutoLadyMickleham。"

Sotheywent，itbeingthen，accordingtoMissPhyllis’swornstatementpreciselytwohoursandfiveminutessinceDollyhaddisappeared；and，pursuingtherouteindicatedbytheDuke，theyfoundLadyMickleham。AndLadyMicklehamexclaimed，"Goodgracious，mydear，I’dquiteforgottenyou!Haveyouhadanice？

Dotakehertohaveanice，SirJohn。"（SirJohnBerrywasthenext—doorneighbor。）AndwiththatLadyMicklehamissaidtohaveresumedherconversation。

"Didyoueverhearanythingmoreatrocious？"concludedMrs。

Hilary。"IreallycannotthinkwhatLordMicklehamisdoing。"

"Yousurelymean，whatLadyMickleham——？"

"No，Idon’t，"saidMrs。Hilary，withextraordinarydecision。

"Anythingmighthavehappenedtothatpoorchild!"

"Oh，therewerenotmanyofthearistocracypresent，"saidI

soothingly。

"Butit’snotthatsomuchasthethingitself。She’sthemostdisgracefulflirtinLondon。"

"Howdoyouknowshewasflirting？"Iinquiredwithasmile。

"HowdoIknow？"echoedMrs。Hilary。

"Itisaveryhastyconclusion，"Ipersisted。"SometimesIstaytalkingwithyouforanhourormore。Areyou，therefore，flirtingwithme？"

"Withyou!"exclaimedMrs。Hilary，withalittlelaugh。

"Absurdasthesuppositionis，"Iremarked，"ityetservestopointtheargument。LadyMicklehammighthavebeentalkingwithafriend，justinthequietrationalwayinwhichwearetalkingnow。"

"Idon’tthinkthat’slikely，"saidMrs。Hilary；and——well，Idonotliketosaythatshesniffed——itwouldconveytoostronganidea，butshedidmakeanoddlittlesoundsomethinglikeamuchetherealizedsniff。

Ismiledagain，andmorebroadly。IwasenjoyingbeforehandthelittlevictorywhichIwastoenjoyoverMrs。Hilary。"Yetithappenstobetrue，"saidI。

Mrs。Hilarywasmagnificentlycontemptuous。

"LordMicklehamtoldyouso，Isuppose？"sheasked。"AndI

supposeLadyMicklehamtoldhim——poorman!"

"Whydoyoucallhim’poorman’？"

"Oh，nevermind。Didhetellyou？"

"Certainlynot。Thefactis，Mrs。Hilary——andreally，youmustexcusemeforhavingkeptyouinthedarkalittle——itamusedmesomuchtohearyoursuspicions。"

Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。

"Well，whatareyougoingtosay？"sheasked。

Ilaughed，asIanswered："Why，IwasthemanwithLadyMicklehamwhenyourfriendandBerryinter——whentheyarrived，youknow。"

Well，Ishouldhavethought——Ishouldstillthink——thatshewouldhavebeenpleased——relieved，youknow，tofindheruncharitableopinionerroneous，andpleasedtohaveitalteredonthebestauthority。I’msurethatishowIshouldhavefelt。Itwasnot，however，howMrs。Hilaryfelt。

"Iamdeeplypained，"sheobservedafteralongpause；andthensheheldoutherhand。

"Iwassureyou’dforgivemylittledeception，"saidI，graspingit。Ithoughtstillthatshemeanttoburyallunkindness。

"Ishouldneverhavethoughtitofyou，"shewenton。

"Ididn’tknowyourfriendwasthereatall，"Ipleaded；forbynowIwasalarmed。

"Oh，pleasedon’tshufflelikethat，"saidMrs。Hilary。

Shecontinuedtostand，andIrosetomyfeet。Mrs。Hilaryheldoutherhandagain。

"DoyoumeanthatI’mtogo？"saidI。

"Ihopeweshallseeyouagainsomeday，"saidMrs。Hilary；thetonesuggestedthatshewaslookingforwardtosomefutureexistence，whenmyearthlysinsshouldhavebeensufficientlypurged。ItremindedmeforthemomentofKingArthurandQueenGuinevere。

"ButIprotest，"Ibegan，"thatmyonlyobjectintellingyouwastoshowyouhowabsurd——"

"Isitanygoodtalkingaboutitnow？"askedMrs。Hilary。A

discussionmightpossiblybefruitfulinthedimfuturitybeforementioned——butnotnow——thatwaswhatsheseemedtosay。

"LadyMicklehamandI，ontheoccasioninquestion——"Ibeganwithdignity。

"Pray，spareme，"quoteMrs。Hilary，withmuchgreaterdignity。

Itookmyhat。

"ShallyoubeathomeasusualonThursday？"Iasked。

"Ihaveagreatmanypeoplecomingalready，"sheremarked。

"Icantakeahint，"saidI。

"Iwishyou’dtakewarning，"saidMrs。Hilary。

"Iwilltakemyleave，"saidI——andIdid，leavingMrs。Hilaryinatragicattitudeinthemiddleoftheroom。NeveragainshallIgooutofmywaytolullMrs。Hilary’ssuspicions。

Adayortwoafterthisverytryinginterview，LadyMickleham’svictoriahappenedtostopoppositewhereIwasseatedinthepark。Iwenttopaymyrespects。

"Doyoumeantoleavemenothingintheworld，"Iasked，justbywayofintroducingthesubjectofMrs。Hilary。"Oneofmybestfriendshasturnedmeoutofherhouseonyouraccount。"

"Oh，dotellme，"saidDolly，dimplingalloverherface。

SoItoldher；ImadethestoryaslongasIcouldforreasonsconnectedwiththedimples。

"Whatfun!"exclaimedDolly。"Itoldyouatthetimethatayoungunmarriedpersonlikeyououghttobemorecareful。"

"Iamjustdebating，"Iobserved，"whethertosacrificeyou。"

"Tosacrificeme，Mr。Carter？"

"Ofcourse，"Iexplained；"ifIdroppedyou，Mrs。Hilarywouldletmecomeagain。"

"Howcharmingthatwouldbe!"criedDolly。"Youwouldenjoyherniceseriousconversation——allaboutHilary!"

"Sheisapt，Iconceded，"totouchonHilary。Butsheisverypicturesque。"

"Oh，yes，she’shandsome，"saidDolly。

Therewasapause。ThenDollysaid，"Well？"

"Well？"saidIinreturn。

"Itisgoodbye？"askedDolly，drawingdownthecornersofhermouth。

"Itcomestothis，"Iremarked。"SupposingIforgiveyou——"

"Asifitwasmyfault？"

"AndriskMrs。Hilary’swrath——didyouspeak？"

"No；Ilaughed，Mr。Carter。"

"WhatshallIgetoutofit？"

Thesunwasshiningbrightly；itshoneonDolly；shehadraisedherparasol，butsheblinkedalittlebeneathit。Shewassmilingslightlystill，andthedimplestucktoitspost——likeasentinel，readytorousetherestfromtheirbriefrepose。Dollylaybackinthevictoria，nestlingluxuriouslyagainstthesoftcushions。Sheturnedhereyesforamomentonme。

"Whyareyoulookingatme？"sheasked。

"Because，"saidI，"thereisnothingbettertolookat。"

"Doyoulikedoingit？"askedDolly。

"Itisaprivilege，"saidIpolitely。

"Well，then!"saidDolly。

"But，"Iventuredtoobserve，"it’sratheranexpensiveone。"

"Thenyoumustn’thaveitveryoften。"

"Anditissharedbysomanypeople。"

"Then，"saidDolly，smilingindulgently，"youmusthaveit——alittleoftener。Home，Roberts，please。"

IamnotyetallowedatMrs。HilaryMusgrave’s。

AVERYDULLAFFAIR

"Tohearyoutalk，"remarkedMrs。HilaryMusgrave——and，ifanyoneissurprisedtofindmeatherhouse，IcanonlysaythatHilary，whenheaskedmetotakeapot—luck，wasquiteignorantofanygroundofdifferencebetweenhiswifeandmyself，andthatMrs。Hilarycouldnotverywellejectmeonmyarrivalineveningdressattenminutestoeight——"tohearyoutalkonewouldthinkthattherewasnosuchthingasreallove。"

Shepaused。Ismiled。

"Now，"shecontinued，turningafine，butscornfuleyeuponme，"Ihavenevercaredforanymanintheworldexceptmyhusband。"

Ismiledagain。PoorHilarylookedveryuncomfortable。WithanapologeticairhebegantostammersomethingaboutParishCouncils。Iwasnottobedivertedbyanysuchmaneuver。Itwasimpossiblethathecouldreallywishtotalkonthatsubject。

"Wouldapersonwhohadnevereatenanythingbutbeefmakeaboastofit？"Iasked。

Hilarygrinnedcovertly。Mrs。Hilarypulledthelampnearer，andtookupherembroidery。

"Doyoualwaysworkthesamepattern？"saidI。

Hilarykickedmegently。Mrs。Hilarymadenodirectreply，butpresentlyshebegantotalk。

"IwasjustaboutPhyllis’sage——（bytheway，littleMissPhylliswasthere）——whenIfirstsawHilary。Youremember，Hilary？AtBournemouth？"

"Oh——er——wasitBournemouth？"saidHilary，withmuchcarelessness。

"Iwasonthepier，"pursuedMrs。Hilary。"Ihadaredfrockon，Iremember，andoneofthosebighatstheyworethatyear。

Hilarywore——"

"Blueserge，"Iinterpolated，encouragingly。

"Yes，blueserge，"saidshefondly。"Hehadbeenyachting，andhewasbeautifullyburnt。Iwashorriblyburnt——wasn’tI，Hilary？"

Hilarybegantopatthedog。

"Thenwegottoknowoneanother。"

"Stopaminute，"saidI。"Howdidthathappen？"Mrs。Hilaryblushed。

"Well，wewerebothalwaysonthepier，"sheexplained。

"And——andsomehowHilarygottoknowfather，and——andfatherintroducedhimtome。"

"I’mgladitwasnoworse，"saidI。IwasconsideringMissPhyllis，whosatlistening，open—eyed。

"Andthenyouknow，fatherwasn’talwaysthere；andonceortwicewemetonthecliff。Doyourememberthatmorning，Hilary？"

"Whatmorning？"askedHilary，pattingthedogwithimmenseassiduity。

"Why，themorningIhadmywhitesergeon。I’dbeenbathing，andmyhairwasdowntodry，andyousaidIlookedlikeamermaid。"

"Domermaidswearwhiteserge？"Iasked；butnobodytooktheleastnoticeofme——quiteproperly。

"Andyoutoldmesuchalotaboutyourself；andthenwefoundwewerelateforlunch。"

"Yes，"saidHilary，suddenlyforgettingthedog，"andyourmothergavemeanawfulglance。"

"Yes，andthenyoutoldmethatyouwereverypoor，butthatyoucouldn’thelpit；andyousaidyousupposedIcouldn’tpossibly——"

"Well，Ididn’tthink——!"

"AndIsaidyouwereasillyoldthing；andthen——"Mrs。Hilarystoppedabruptly。

"Howlovely，"remarkedlittleMissPhyllisinawistfulvoice。

"Anddoyouremember，"pursuedMrs。Hilary，layingdownherembroideryandclaspingherhandsonherknees，"themorningyouwenttoseefather？"

"Whatarowtherewas!"saidHilary。

"Andwhatanawfulweekitwasafterthat!Iwasneversomiserableinallmylife。Icriedtillmyeyeswerequitered，andthenIbathedthemforanhour，andthenIwenttothepier，andyouwerethere——andImightn’tspeaktoyou!"

"Iremember，"saidHilary，noddinggently。

"Andthen，Hilary，fathersentformeandtoldmeitwasnouse；

andIsaidI’dnevermarryanyoneelse。Andfathersaid，’There，there，don’tcry。We’llseewhatmothersays。’"

"Yourmotherwasabrick，"saidHilary，pokingthefire。

"Andthatnighttheynevertoldmeanythingaboutit，andI

didn’tevenchangemyfrock，butcamedown，lookinghorrible，justasIwas，inanoldblackrag——no，Hilary，don’tsayitwaspretty!"

Hilary，unconvinced，shookhishead。

"AndwhenIwalkedintothedrawingroomtherewasnobodytherebutjustyou；andweneitherofussaidanythingforeversolong。Andthenfatherandmothercameinand——doyourememberafterdinner，Hilary？"

"Iremember，"saidHilary。

Therewasalongpause。Mrs。Hilarywaslookingintothefire；

littleMissPhyllis’seyeswerefixed，inraptgaze，ontheceiling；Hilarywaslookingathiswife——I，thinkingitsafest，wasregardingmyownboots。

AtlastMissPhyllisbrokethesilence。

"Howperfectlylovely!"shesaid。

"Yes，"saidMrs。Hilary，reflectively。"Andweweremarriedthreemonthsafterwards。"

"TenthofJune，"saidHilaryreflectively。

"Andwehadthemostcharminglittleroomsintheworld!Doyourememberthosefirstrooms，dear？Sotiny!"

"Notbadlittlerooms，"saidHilary。

"Howawfullylovely，"criedlittleMissPhyllis。

Ifeltthatitwastimetointerfere。

"Andisthatall？"Iasked。

"All？Howdoyoumean？"saidMrs。Hilary，withaslightstart。

"Well，Imean，didnothingelsehappen？Weren’tthereanycomplications？Weren’tthereanymoretroubles，oranymoreopposition，oranymisunderstandings，oranything？"

"No，"saidMrs。Hilary。

"Youneverquarreled，orbrokeitoff？"

"No。"

"Nobodycamebetweenyou？"

"No。Itallwentjustperfectly。Why，ofcourseitdid。"

"Hilary’speoplemadethemselvesnasty，perhaps？"Isuggested，witharayofhope。

"Theyfellinlovewithheronthespot，"saidHilary。

ThenIroseandstoodwithmybacktothefire。

"Idonotknow，"Iobserved，"whatMissPhyllisthinksaboutit——"

"Ithinkitwasjustperfect，Mr。Carter。"

"Butformypart，IcanonlysaythatIneverheardofsuchadullaffairinallmylife。"

"Dull!"gaspedMissPhyllis。

"Dull!"murmuredMrs。Hilary。

"Dull!"chuckledHilary。

"Itwas，"saidIseverely，"withoutasparkofinterestfrombeginningtoend。Suchthingshappenbythousands。It’scommonplacenessitself。Ihadsomehopeswhenyoufatherassumedafirmattitude，but——"

"Motherwassuchadear，"interruptedMrs。Hilary。

"Justso。Shegaveawaythewholesituation。ThenIdidtrustthatHilarywouldlosehisplace，ordevelopanoldflame，ordosomethingjustalittleinteresting。"

"Itwasaperfecttime，"saidMrs。Hilary。

"Iwonderwhyintheworldyoutoldmeaboutit，"Ipursued。

"Idon’tknowwhyIdid，"saidMrs。Hilarydreamily。

"Theonlypossibleexcuseforanengagementlikethat，"I

observed，"istobefoundinintensepost—nuptialunhappiness。"

Hilaryrose，andadvancedtowardshiswife。

"Yourembroidery’sfallingonthefloor，"saidhe。

"Notabitofit，"saidI。

"Yes，itis，"hepersisted；andhepickeditupandgaveittoher。MissPhyllissmileddelightedly。Hilaryhadsqueezedhiswife’shand。

"Thenwedon’texcuseit，"saidhe。

Itookoutmywatch。Iwasnotfindingmuchentertainment。

"Surelyit’squiteearly，oldman？"saidHilary。

"It’snearlyeleven。We’vespenthalf—an—houronthething，"

saidIpeevishly，holdingoutmyhandtomyhostess。

"Oh，areyougoing？Goodnight，Mr。Carter。"

IturnedtoMissPhyllis。

"Ihopeyouwon’tthinkallloveaffairsarelikethat，"Isaid；

butIsawherlipsbegintoshapeinto"lovely，"andIhastilylefttheroom。

Hilarycametohelpmeonwithmycoat。Helookedextremelyapologetic，andverymuchashamedofhimself。

"Awfullysorry，oldchap，"saidhe，"thatweboredyouwithourreminiscences。Iknow，ofcourse，thattheycan’tbeveryinterestingtootherpeople。Womenaresoconfoundedlyromantic。"

"Don’ttrythatonme，"saidI，muchdisgusted。"Youwerejustasbadyourself。"

Helaughed，asheleantagainstthedoor。

"Shedidlookrippinginthatwhitefrock，"hesaid，"withherhair——"

"Stop，"saidIfirmly。"Shelookedjustlikealotofothergirls。"

"I’mhangedifshedid!"saidHilary。

Thenheglancedatmewithapuzzledsortofexpression。

"Isay，oldman，weren’tyoueverthatwayyourself？"heasked。

Ihailedahansomcab。

"Because，ifyouwere，youknow，you’dunderstandhowafellowremembersevery——"

"Goodnight，"saidI。"AtleastIsupposeyou’renotcomingtotheclub？"

"Well，Ithinknot，"saidHilary。"Ta—ta，oldfellow。Sorryweboredyou。Ofcourse，ifamanhasnever——"

"Never!"Igroaned。"Ascoreoftimes!"

"Well，then，doesn’tit——？

"No，"saidI。"It’sjustthatthatmakesstorieslikeyourssoinfernally——"

"What？"askedHilary；forIhadpausedtolightacigarette。

"Uninteresting，"saidI，gettingintomycab。

STRANGE，BUTTRUE

TheotherdaymyyoungcousinGeorgelunchedwithme。Heisacheeryyouth，andamemberoftheUniversityofOxford。Herefreshesmeverymuch，andIbelievethatIhavethepleasureofaffordinghimsomematterforthought。Onthisoccasion，however，hewasextremelysilentanddepressed。Isaidlittle，butmadeanextremelygoodluncheon。AfterwardsweproceededtotakeastrollinthePark。

"Sam，oldboy，"saidGeorgesuddenly，"I’mthemostmiserabledevilalive。"

"Idon’tknowwhatelseyouexpectatyourage，"Iobserved，lightingacigar。Hewalkedoninsilenceforafewmoments。

"Isay，Sam，oldboy，whenyouwereyoung，wereyouever——？"hepaused，arrangedhisneckcloth（itwasmorelikeabed—quilt——oh，thefashion，ofcourse，Iknowthat），andblushedafinecrimson。

"WasIeverwhat，George？"Ihadthecuriositytoask。

"Oh，well，hardhit，youknow——agirl，youknow。"

"Inlove，youmean，George？No，Ineverwas。"

"Never？"

"No。Areyou？"

"Yes。Hangit!"Thenhelookedatmewithapuzzledairandcontinued：

"Isay，though，Sam，it’sawfullyfunnyyoushouldn’thave——don’tyouknowwhatit’slike，then？"

"HowshouldI？"Iinquiredapologetically。"Whatisitlike，George？"

Georgetookmyarm。

"It’sjustHades，"heinformedmeconfidentially。

"Then，"Iremarked，"Ihavenoreasontoregret——？"

"Still，youknow，"interruptedGeorge，"it’snothalfbad。"

"Thatappearstometobeaparadox，"Iobserved。

"It’sprecioushardtoexplainittoyouifyou’veneverfeltit，"saidGeorge，inratheraninjuredtone。"ButwhatIsayisquitetrue。"

"Ishouldn’tthinkofcontradictingyou，mydearfellow，"I

hastenedtosay。

"Let’ssitdown，"saidhe，"andwatchthepeopledriving。Wemayseesomebody——somebodyweknow，youknow，Sam。"

"Sowemay，"saidI，andwesatdown。

"Afellow，"pursuedGeorge，withknittedbrows，"isallturnedupsidedown，don’tyouknow？"

"Howverypeculiar？"Iexclaimed。

"Onemomenthe’sthehappiestdogintheworld，andthenext——well，thenext，it’sthedeuce。"

"But，"Iobjected，"notsurelywithoutgoodreasonforsuchachange？"

"Reason？Bosh!Theleastthingdoesit。"

Iflickedtheashfrommycigar。

"Itmay，"Iremarked，"affectyouinthisextraordinaryway，butsurelyitisnotsowithmostpeople？"

"Perhapsnot，"Georgeconceded。"Mostpeoplearecold—bloodedasses。"

"Verylikelytheexplanationliesinthatfact，"saidI。

"Ididn’tmeanyou，oldchap，"saidGeorge，withapenitencewhichshowedthathehadmeantme。

"Oh，allright，allright，"saidI。

"Butwhenaman’sreallyfargonethere’snothingelseintheworldbutit。"

"Thatseemstomenottobeahealthycondition，"saidI。

"Healthy？Oh，youoldidiot，Sam!Who’stalkingofhealth？

Now，onlylastnightImetheratadance。Ihadfivedanceswithher——talkedtoherhalftheevening，infact。Well，you’dthinkthatwouldlastsometime，wouldn’tyou？"

"Ishouldcertainlyhavesupposedso，"Iassented。

"Soitwouldwithmostchaps，Idaresay，butwithme——confoundit，IfeelasifIhadn’tseenherforsixmonths!"

"But，mydearGeorge，that’ssurelyratherabsurd？Asyoutellme，youspentalongwhilewiththeyoungperson——"

"The——youngperson!"

"You’venottoldmehername，yousee。"

"No，andIshan’t。Iwonderifshe’llbeattheMusgraves’

tonight!"

"You’resure，"saidIsoothingly，"tomeethersomewhereinthecourseofthenextfewweeks。"

Georgelookedatme。Thenheobservedwithabitterlaugh：

"It’sprettyevidentyou’veneverhadit。You’reasbadasthosechapswhowritebooks。"

"Well，butsurelytheyoftendescribewithsufficientwarmthand——er——color——"

"Oh，Idaresay；butit’sallwrong。Atleast，it’snotwhatI

feel。Thenlookatthegirlsinbooks!Allbeasts!"

Georgespokewithmuchvehemence；sothatIwasledtosay：

"Theladyyouarepreoccupiedwithis，Isuppose，handsome？"

Georgeturnedswiftlyroundonme。

"Lookhere，canyouholdyourtongue，Sam？"

Inodded。

"ThenI’mhangedifIwon’tpointherouttoyou？"

"That’suncommongoodofyou，George，"saidI。

"Thenyou’llsee，"continuedGeorge。"Butit’snotonlyherlooks，youknow，she’sthemost——"

Hestopped。Lookingroundtoseewhy，Iobservedthathisfacewasred；heclutchedhiswalkingsticktightlyinhislefthand；

hisrighthandwastrembling，asifitwantedtojumpuptohishat。"Hereshecomes!Look，look!"hewhispered。

Directingmyeyestowardsthelinesofcarriageswhichrolledpastus，Iobservedagirlinavictoria；byhersidesataportlyladyofmiddleage。Thegirlwasdecidedlylikethelady；

adescriptionoftheladywouldnot，Iimagine，beinteresting。

Thegirlblushedslightlyandbowed。GeorgeandIliftedourhats。Thevictoriaanditsoccupantsweregone。Georgeleantbackwithasigh。Afteramoment，hesaid：

"Well，thatwasher。"

Therewasexpectancyinhistone。

"Shehasanextremelyprepossessingappearance，"Iobserved。

"Thereisn’t，"saidGeorge，"agirlinLondontotouchher。Sam，oldboy，Ibelieve——Ibelieveshelikesmeabit。"

"I’msureshemust，George，"saidI；andindeed，Ithoughtso。

"TheGovernor’sinfernallyunreasonable，"saidGeorge，fretfully。

"Oh，you’vementionedittohim？"

"Isoundedhim。Oh，youmaybesurehedidn’tseewhatIwasupto。Iputitquitegenerally。Hetalkedrotaboutgettingonintheworld。Whowantstogeton？"

"Who，indeed？"saidI。"Itisonlychangingwhatyouareforsomethingnobetter。"

"AndaboutwaitingtillIknowmyownmind。Isn’titenoughtolookather？"

"Ample，inmyopinion，"saidI。

Georgerosetohisfeet。

"They’vegonetoaparty，theywon’tcomeroundagain，"saidhe。

"Wemayaswellgo，mayn’twe？"

Iwasverycomfortable，soIsaidtimidly：

"Wemightseesomebodyelseweknow。"

"Oh，somebodyelsebehanged!Whowantstoseeem？"

"I’msureIdon’t。"saidIhastily，asIrosefrommyarmchair，whichwasatoncesnappedup。

Wewereabouttoreturntotheclub，whenIobservedLadyMickleham’sbarouchestandingunderthetrees。IinvitedGeorgetocomeandbeintroduced。

Hedisplayedgreatindifference。

"Shegivesagoodmanyparties，"saidI；"andperhaps——"

"ByJove!Yes，Imayaswell，"saidGeorge。"Gladyouhadthesensetothinkofthat，oldman。"

SoItookhimuptoDollyandpresentedhim。Dollywasverygracious；Georgeisanevidentlypresentableboy。Wefellintoconversation。

"Mycousin，LadyMickleham，"saidI，"hasbeentellingme——"

"Oh，shutup，Sam!"saidGeorge，not，however，appearingveryangry。

"AboutasubjectonwhichyoucanassisthimmorethanIcan，inasmuchasyouaremarried。Heisinlove。"

DollyglancedatGeorge。

"Oh，whatfun!"saidshe。

"Fun!"criedGeorge。

"Imean，howawfullyinteresting，"saidDolly，suddenlytransformingherexpression。

"Andhewantedtobeintroducedtoyoubecauseyoumightaskherandhimto——"

Georgebecamered，andbegantostammeranapology。

"Oh，Idon’tbelievehim，"saidDollykindly；"healwaysmakespeopleuncomfortableifhecan。Whatwereyoutellinghim，Mr。

George？"

"It’snousetellinghimanything。Hecan’tunderstand，"saidGeorge。

"Isshevery——？"askedDolly，fixingdoubtfullygraveeyesonmyyoungcousin。

"Sam’sseenher，"saidhe，inanexcessofshyness。

Dollyturnedtomeforanopinion，andIgaveone：

"Sheisjust，"saidI，"ascharmingashethinksher。"

Dollyleantovertomycousin，andwhispered，"Tellmehername。"

AndhewhisperedsomethingbacktoDolly。

"It’sawfullykindofyou，LadyMickleham，"hesaid。

"Iamakindoldthing，"saidDolly，alloverdimples。"Icaneasilygettoknowthem。"

"Oh，youreallyareawfullykind，LadyMickleham。"

Dollysmileduponhim，wavedherhandtome，anddroveoff，crying——

"DotrytomakeMr。Carterunderstand!"

Wewereleftalong。Georgeworeameditativesmile。Presentlyherousedhimselftosay：

"She’sreallyaverykindwoman。She’ssosympathetic。She’snotlikeyou。Iexpectshefeltitonceherself，youknow。"

"Onecannevertell，"saidIcarelessly。"Perhapsshedid——once。"

Georgefelltobroodingagain。IthoughtIwouldtryanexperiment。

"Notaltogetherbad—looking，either，isshe？"Iasked，lightingacigarette。

Georgestarted。

"What？Oh，well，Idon’tknow。Isupposesomepeoplemightthinkso。"

Hepaused，andadded，withabashful，knowingsmile——

"Youcanhardlyexpectmetogointorapturesabouther，canyou，oldman？"

Iturnedmyheadaway，buthecaughtme。

"Oh，youneedn’tsmileinthatinfernallypatronizingway，"hecriedangrily。

"Uponmyword，George，"saidI，"Idon’tknowthatIneed。"

THEVERYLATESTTHING

"It’stheverylatestthing，"saidLadyMickleham，standingbythetableinthesmokingroom，andholdinganalbuminherhand。

"Iwishithadbeenalittlelaterstill，"saidI，forIfeltembarrassed。

"Youpromise，onyourhonor，tobeabsolutelysincere，youknow，andthenyouwritewhatyouthinkofme。SeewhatalotofopinionsI’vegotalready，"andsheheldupthethickalbum。

"Itwouldbeextremelyinterestingtoreadthem，"Iobserved。

"Oh!"butthey’requiteconfidential，"saidDolly。"That’spartofthefun。"

"Idon’tappreciatethatpart，"saidI。

"Perhapsyouwillwhenyou’vewrittenyours，"suggestedLadyMickleham。

"Meanwhile，mayn’tIseetheDowager’s？"

"Well，I’llshowyoualittlebitoftheDowager’s。Lookhere：

OurdearDorotheaisstillperhapsjustathoughtwantinginseriousness，butthesenseofherpositionishavingasoberingeffect。’"

"Ihopenot，"Iexclaimedapprehensively。"Whoseisthis？"

"Archie’s。"

"MayIseeabit——？"

"Notabit，"saidDolly。"Archie’sis——isratherfoolish，Mr。

Carter。"

"SoIsuppose，"saidI。

"Dearboy!"saidDollyreflectively。

"Ihatesentiment，"saidI。"Here’salongone。Whowrote——？"

"Oh，youmustn’tlookatthat——notatthat，aboveall!"

"Whyaboveall？"Iaskedwithsomeseverity。

Dollysmiled；thensheobservedinasoothingtone。

"Perhapsitwon’tbe’aboveall’whenyou’vewrittenyours，Mr。

Carter。"

"Bytheway，"Isaidcarelessly，"IsupposeArchieseesallofthem？"

"Hehasneveraskedtoseethem，"answeredLadyMickleham。

Thereplyseemedsatisfactory；ofcourse，Archiehadonlytoask。

Itookacleanquillandpreparedtowrite。

"Youpromisetobesincere，youknow，"Dollyremindedme。

Ilaiddownmypen。

"Impossible!"saidIfirmly。

"O，butwhy，Mr。Carter？"

"Therewouldbeanendofourfriendship。"

"Doyouthinkasbadlyofmeasallthat？"askedDollywitharuefulair。

Ileantbackinmychair，andlookedatDolly。Shelookedatme。

Shesmiled。Imayhavesmiled。

"Yes，"saidI。

"Thenyouneedn’twriteitquitealldown，"saidDolly。

"Iamobliged，"saidI，takingupmypen。

"Youmustn’tsaywhatisn’ttrue，butyouneedn’tsayeverythingthatis——thatmightbe——true，"explainedDolly。

This，again，seemedsatisfactory。Ibegantowrite，Dollysittingoppositemewithherelbowsonthetable，andwatchingme。

Aftertenminutes’steadywork，whichincludedseveralpausesforreflection，Ithrewdownthepen，leantbackinmychair，andlitacigarette。

"Nowreadit，"saidDolly，herchininherhandsandhereyesfixedonme。

"Itis，onthewhole，"Iobserved，"complimentary。"

"No，really，"saidDolly。"Yetyoupromisedtobesincere。"

"Youwouldnothavehadmedisagreeable？"Iasked。

"That’sadifferentthing，"saidDolly。"Readit，please。"

"LadyMickleham，"Iread，"isusuallyaccountedapersonofconsiderableattractions。Sheiswidelypopular，andmorethanonewomanhasbeenknowntolikeher。"

"Idon’tquiteunderstandthat，"interruptedDolly。

"Itissurelysimple，"saidI；andIreadonwithoutdelay。"Sheiskindeventoherhusband，andtakestheutmostpainstoconcealfromhermother—in—lawanythingcalculatedtodistressthatlady。"

"Isupposeyoumeanthattobenice？"saidDolly。

"Ofcourse，"Ianswered；andIproceeded："Shenevergivespaintoanyone，exceptwiththeobjectofgivingpleasuretosomebodyelse，andherkindnessisnolesswidelydiffusedthanitisheartyandsincere。"

"Thatreallyisnice，"saidDolly，smiling。

"Thankyou，"saidI，smilingalso。"Sheisverycharitable；shetakesapleasureinencouragingtheshyandbashful——"

"Howdoyouknowthat？"askedDolly。

"While，"Ipursued，"sufferingwithoutimpatienceaconsiderableamountofself—assurance。"

"Youcan’tknowwhetherI’mpatientornot，"remarkedDolly。

"I’mpolite。"

"Shethinks，"Ireadon，"noevilofthemostattractiveofwomen，andhasasmileforthemostunattractiveofmen。"

"Youputthatverynicely，"saidDolly，nodding。

"Theformermayconstantlybeseeninherhouse——andthelatteratleastasoftenasmanypeoplewouldthinkdesirable。"（HereforsomereasonDollylaughed。）"Herintellectualpowersarenotdespicable。"

"Thankyou，Mr。Carter。"

"Shecansaywhatshemeansontheoccasionsonwhichshewishestodoso，andsheis，atothertimes，equallycapableofmeaningmuchmorethanshewouldbelikelytosay。"

"Howdoyoumeanthat，Mr。Carter，please？"

"Itexplainsitself，"saidI，andIproceeded："Thefactofherreceivingaremarkwithdisapprobationdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatitcausesherdispleasure，normustitbeassumedthatshedidnotexpectavisitormerelyonthegroundthatshegreetshimwithsurprise。"

HereIobservedLadyMicklehamlookingatmerathersuspiciously。

"Idon’tthinkthat’squiteniceofyou，Mr。Carter，"shesaidpathetically。

"LadyMicklehamis，inshort，"Iwenton，comingtomyperoration，"equallydeservingofesteemandaffection——"

"Esteemandaffection!Thatsoundsjustright，"saidDollyapprovingly。

"Andthosewhohavebeenadmittedtotheenjoymentofherfriendshipareunanimousindiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。"

"Ibegyourpardon？"criedLadyMickleham。

"Areunanimous，"Irepeated，slowlyanddistinctly，"indiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。"

Dollylookedatme，withherbrowslightlypuckered。Ileantback，puffingatmycigarette。Presently——fortherewasquitealongpause——Dolly’slipscurved。

"Mymentalpowersarenotdespicable，"sheobserved。

"Ihavesaidso，"saidI。

"IthinkIsee，"sheremarked。

"Isthereanythingwrong？"Iaskedanxiously。

"N—no，"saidDolly，"notexactlywrong。Infact，IratherthinkIlikethatlastbitbest。Still，don’tyouthink——？

Sherose，cameroundthetable，tookupthepen，andputitbackinmyhand。"What’sthisfor？"Iasked。

"Tocorrectthemistake，"saidDolly。

"Doyoureallythinkso？"saidI。

"I’mafraidso，"saidDolly。

Itookthepenandmadeacertainalteration。Dollytookupthealbum。

"’Areunanimous，’"sheread，"inencouragingallotherstoseekasimilarprivilege。’Yes，youmeantthat，youknow，Mr。

Carter。"

"IsupposeImusthave，"saidIrathersulkily。

"Theotherwasnonsense，"urgedDolly。

"Oh，utternonsense，"saidI。

"Andyouhadtowritethetruth!"

"Yes，Ihadtowritesomeofit。"

"Andnonsensecan’tbethetruth，canit，Mr。Carter？"

"Ofcourseitcan’t，LadyMickleham。"

"Whereareyougoing，Mr。Carter？"sheasked；forIrosefrommychair。

"Tohaveaquietsmoke，"saidI。

"Alone？"askedDolly。

"Yes，alone，"saidI。

Iwalkedtowardsthedoor。Dollystoodbythetablefingeringthealbum。Ihadalmostreachedthedoor；thenIhappenedtolookround。

"Mr。Carter!"saidDolly，asthoughanewideahadstruckher。

"Whatisit，LadyMickleham？"

"Well，youknow，Mr。Carter，I——Ishalltrytoforgetthatmistakeofyours。"

"You’reverykind，LadyMickleham。"

"But，"saidDollywithatroubledsmile，"I——I’mquiteafraidI

shan’tsucceed，Mr。Carter。"

Afterall，thesmokingroomismeantforsmoking。

ANUNCOUNTEDHOUR

Wewerestanding，LadyMicklehamandI，atadoorwhichledfromthemorningroomtotheterraceatTheTowers。Iwasonavisittothehistoricpile（byVanbrugh——outofthemoneyaccumulatedbythethirdEarl——PaymastertotheForces——temp。QueenAnne）。

Themorningroomisalargeroom。Archiewassomewhereinit。

LadyMicklehamheldajarcontainingpatedefoiegras；fromtimetotimeshedugapieceoutwithaforkandflungthemorseltoabigretrieverwhichwassittingontheterrace。Themorningwasfine，butcloudy。LadyMicklehamworeblue。Thedogswallowedthepatewithgreediness。

"It’ssobadforhim，"sighedshe；"butthedearlikesitsomuch。"

"Howhumanthecreaturesare，"saidI。

"Doyouknow，"pursuedLadyMickleham，"thattheDowagersaysI’mextravagant。Shethinksdogsoughtnottobefedonpatedefoiegras。"

"Yourextravagance，"Iobserved，"isprobablyduetoyourhavingbeenbroughtuponamoderateincome。Ihavefelttheeffectmyself。"

"Ofcourse，"saidDolly，"wearehitbytheagriculturaldepression。"

"TheCartersalso，"Imurmured，"arelandedgentry。"

"Afterall，Idon’tseemuchpointineconomy，doyou，Mr。Carter？"

"Economy，"Iremarked，puttingmyhandsinmypockets，"isgoingwithoutsomethingyoudowantincaseyoushould，someday，wantsomethingwhichyouprobablywon’twant。"

"Isn’tthatclever？"askedDollyinanapprehensivetone。

"Oh，dear，no，"Iansweredreassuringly。"Anybodycandothat——iftheycaretotry，youknow。"

Dollytossedapieceofpatetotheretriever。

"Ihavemadeadiscoverylately，"Iobserved。

"Whatareyoutwotalkingabout？"calledArchie。

"You’renotmeanttohear，"saidDolly，withoutturninground。

"Yet，ifit’sadiscovery，heoughttohearit。"

"He’smadeagoodmanylately，"saidDolly。

Shedugoutthelastbitofpate，flungittothedog，andhandedtheemptypottome。

"Don’tbesoallegorical，"Iimplored。"Besides，it’sreallynotjusttoArchie。Nodoubtthedogisaniceone，but——"

"Howfoolishyouarethismorning!What’sthediscovery？"

"Anentirelysurprisingone。"

"Oh，butletmehear!It’snothingaboutArchie，isit？"

"No，I’vetoldyouallArchie’ssins。"

"NorMrs。Hilary？IwishitwasMrs。Hilary!"

"Shallwewalkontheterrace？"Isuggested。

"Oh，yes，let’s，"saidDolly，steppingout，andputtingonabroad—brimmed，low—crownedhat，whichshecaughtupfromachairhardby。"Itisn’tMrs。Hilary？"sheadded，sittingdownonagardenseat。

"No，"saidI，leaningonasundialwhichstoodbytheseat。

"Well，whatisit？"

"Itissimple，"saidI，"andserious。Itisnot，therefore，likeyou，LadyMickleham。"

"It’slikeMrs。Hilary，"saidDolly。

"No；becauseitisn’tpleasant。Bytheway，youarejealousofMrs。Hilary？"

Dollysaidnothingatall。Shetookoffherhat，roughenedherhairalittle，andassumedaneffectivepose。Still，itisafact（forwhatitisworth）thatshedoesn’tcaremuchaboutMrs。Hilary。

"Thediscovery，"Icontinued，"isthatI’mgrowingmiddle—aged。"

"Youaremiddle—aged，"saidDolly，spearingherhatwithitslongpin。

Iwas，verynaturally，nettledatthis。

"Sowillyoubesoon，"Iretorted。

"Notsoon，"saidDolly。

"Someday，"Iinsisted。

Afterapauseofabouthalfaminute，Dollysaid，"Isupposeso。"

"Youwillbecome，"Ipursued，idlydrawingpatternswithmyfingeronthesundial，"wrinkled，rough，fat——and，perhaps，good。"

"You’reverydisagreeabletoday，"saidDolly。

Sheroseandstoodbyme。

"Whatdothemottoesmean？"sheasked。

Thereweretwo；Iwillnotsaytheycontradictedoneanother，buttheylookedatlifefromdifferentpointsofview。

"Pereuntetimputantur，"Iread。

"Well，what’sthat，Mr。Carter？"

"Atrite，butoffensive，assertion，"saidI，lightingacigarette。

"Butwhatdoesitmean？"sheasked，apuckeronherforehead。

"Whatdoesitmatter？"saidI。"Let’strytheother。"

"Theotherislonger。"

"Andbetter。Horasnonnumeronisiserenas。"

"Andwhat’sthat？"

Itranslatedliterally。Dollyclappedherhands，andherfacegleamedwithsmiles。

"Ilikethatone，"shecried。

"Stop!"saidIimperatively。"You’llsetitmoving!"

"It’sverysensible，"saidshe。

"Morefreelyrendered，itmeans，Iliveonlywhenyou——"

"ByJove!"remarkedArchie，comingupbehindus，pipeinmouth，"therewasalotofrainlastnight。I’vejustmeasureditinthegauge。"

"Somepeoplemeasureeverything，"saidI，withadispleasedair。

"Itisadetestablehabit。"

"Archie，whatdoesPereuntetimputanturmean？"

"Eh？Oh，Isee。Well，Isay，Carter!——Oh，well，youknow，I

supposeitmeansyou’vegottopayforyourfun，doesn’tit？"

"Oh，isthatall？Iwasafraiditwassomethinghorrid。Whydidyoufrightenme，Mr。Carter？"

"Ithinkitisratherhorrid，"saidI。

"Why，itisn’teventrue，"saidDollyscornfully。

NowwhenIheardthisancientandrespectablelegendthuscavalierlychallenged，Ifelltostudyingitagain，andpresentlyIexclaimed：

"Yes，you’reright!Ifitsaidthat，itwouldn’tbetrue；butArchietranslateditwrong。"

"Well，youhaveashot，"suggestedArchie。

"Theoystersareeatenandputdowninthebill，"saidI。"Andyouwillobserve，Archie，thatitdoesnotsayinwhosebill。"

"Ah!"saidDolly。

"Well，somebody’sgottopay，"persistedArchie。

"Oh，yes，somebody，"laughedDolly。

"Well，Idon’tknow，"saidArchie。"Isupposethechapthathasthefun——"

"It’snotalwaysachap，"observedDolly。

"Well，thentheindividual，"amendedArchie。"Isupposehe’dhavetopay。"

"Itdoesn’tsayso，"Iremarkedmildly。"Andaccordingtomysmallexperience——"

"I’mquitesureyourmeaningisright，Mr。Carter，"saidDollyinanauthoritativetone。

"Asfortheothermotto，Archie，"saidI，"itmerelymeansthatawomanconsidersallhourswastedwhichshedoesnotspendinthesocietyofherhusband。"

"Oh，come，youdon’tgammonme，"saidArchie。"Itmeansthatthesundon’tshineunlessit’sfine，youknow。"

Archiedeliveredthisremarkablediscoveryinatoneofgreatselfsatisfaction。

"Oh，youdearoldthing!"saidDolly。

"Well，itdoesyouknow，"saidhe。

Therewasapause。Archiekissedhiswife（Iamnotcomplaining；

hehas，ofcourse，aperfectrighttokisshiswife）andstrolledawaytowardthehothouses。

Ilitanothercigarette。ThenDolly，pointingtothestemofthedial，cried：

"Why，here’sanotherinscription——oh，andinEnglish？"

Shewasright。Therewasanother——carelesslyscratchedontheoldbatteredcolumn——nearlyeffaced，forthecharactershadbeenbutlightlymarked——andyetnot，asIconceivedfromthetenorofthewords，veryold。

"Whatisit？"askedDolly，peeringovermyshoulder，asIbentdowntoreadtheletters，andshadinghereyeswithherhand。

（Whydidn’tsheputonherhat？WetouchtheIncomprehensible。）

"Itis，"saidI，"asingularlypoor，shallow，feeble，andundesirablelittleverse。"

"Readitout，"saidDolly。

SoIreadit。Thesillyfellowhadwritten：

LifeisLove，thepoetstellus，Inthelittlebookstheysellus；Butpray，ma’am——what’sofLifetheUse，IfLifebeLove？

ForLove’stheDeuce。

Dollybegantolaughgently，diggingthepinagainintoherhat。

"Iwonder，"shesaid，"whethertheyusedtocomeandsitbythisolddialjustaswedidthismorning!"

"Ishouldn’tbeatallsurprised，"saidI。"Andanotherpointoccurstome，LadyMickleham。"

"Oh，doesit？What’sthat，Mr。Carter？"

"Doyouthinkthatanybodymeasuredtheraingauge!"

Dollylookedatmeverygravely。

"I’msosorrywhenyoudothat，"saidshepathetically。

Ismiled。

"Ireallyam，"saiddolly。"Butyoudon’tmeanit，doyou？"

"Certainlynot，"saidI。

Dollysmiled。

"Nomorethanhedid!"saidI，pointingtothesundial。

Andthenwebothsmiled。

"Willthishourcount，Mr。Carter？"askedDolly，assheturnedaway。

"Thatwouldberatherstrict，"saidI。

AREMINISCENCE

"Iknowexactlywhatyourmotherwants，Phyllis，"observedMrs。

Hilary。

"It’sjusttoteachthemtheordinarythings，"saidlittleMissPhyllis。

"Whataretheordinarythings？"Iventuredtoask。

"Whatallgirlsaretaught，ofcourse，Mr。Carter，"saidMrs。

Hilary。"I’llwriteaboutitatonce。"AndshelookedatmeasifshethoughtthatImightbeabouttogo。

"Itisacomprehensivecurriculum，"Iremarked，crossingmylegs，"ifonemayjudgefromtheresults。Howoldareyouryoungersisters，MissPhyllis？"

"Fourteenandsixteen，"sheanswered。

"Itisapity，"saidI，"thatthisdidn’thappenalittlewhileback。Iknewagovernesswhowouldhavesuitedtheplacetoat。’"

Mrs。Hilarysmiledscornfully。

"Weusedtomeet——"Icontinued。

"Whousedtomeet？"askedMissPhyllis。

"Thegovernessandmyself，tobesure，"saidI，"undertheoldappletreeinthegardenatthebackofthehouse。"

"Whathouse，Mr。Carter？"

"Myfather’shouse，ofcourse，MissPhyllis。And——"

"Oh，butthatmustbeagesago!"criedshe。

Mrs。Hilaryrose，castoneglanceatme，andturnedtothewritingtable。Herpenbegantoscratchalmostimmediately。

"Andundertheappletree，"Ipursued，"wehadmanypleasantconversations。"

"Whatabout？"askedMissPhyllis。

"Onethingandanother，"Ireturned。"Theschoolroomwindowslookedoutthatway——acircumstancewhichmademattersmorecomfortableforeverybody。"

"Ishouldhavethought——"beganMissPhyllis，smilingslightly，butkeepinganapprehensiveeyeonMrs。Hilary’sback。

"Notatall，"Iinterrupted。"Mysisterssawus，yousee。Well，ofcoursetheyentertainedanincreasedrespectforme，whichwasallright，andadecreasedrespectforthegoverness，whichwasalsoallright。WemetinthehourallottedtoFrenchlessons——byanundesignedbutappropriatecoincidence。"

"Ishallsayaboutthirty—five，Phyllis，"calledMrs。Hilaryfromthewritingtable。

"Yes，CousinMary，"calledMissPhyllis。"Didyoumeetoften，Mr。Carter？"

"EveryeveningintheFrenchhour，"saidI。

"She’llhavegotoveranynonsensebythen，"calledMrs。Hilary。

"Theyareoftenfullofit。"

"Shehadremarkablyprettyhair，"Icontinued；"verysoftitwas。

Dearme!Iwasjusttwenty。"

"Howoldwasshe？"askedMissPhyllis。

"One’sfirstlove，"saidI，"isneveranyage。Everythingwentverywell。Happinesswasimpossible。Iwasheartbroken，andthegovernesswasfarfromhappy。Ah，happy，happytimes!"

"Butyoudon’tseemtohavebeenhappy，"objectedMissPhyllis。

"Thencameaterribleevening——"

"Sheoughttobeapersonofactivehabits，"calledMrs。Hilary。

"Ithinkso，yes，CousinMary；oh，whathappened，Mr。Carter？"

"Andanearlyriser，"addedMrs。Hilary。

"Yes，CousinMary。Whatdidhappen，Mr。Carter？"

"MymothercameinduringtheFrenchhour。Idon’tknowwhetheryouhaveobserved，MissPhyllis，howeasyitistoslipintothehabitofenteringroomswhenyouhadbetterremainoutside。Now，evenmyfriendArch——However，that’sneitherherenorthere。Mymother，asIsay，camein。"

"ChurchofEngland，ofcourse，Phyllis？"calledMrs。Hilary。

"Oh，ofcourse，cousinMary，"criedlittleMissPhyllis。

"Thesectmakesnodifference，"Iobserved。"Well，mysisters，likegoodgirls，begantorepeattheirregularverbs。Butitwasnouse。Wewerediscovered。Thatnight，MissPhyllis，Inearlydrownedmyself。"

"Youmusthavebeen——Oh，howawful，Mr。Carter!"

"Thatistosay，IthoughthoweffectiveitwouldbeifIdrownedmyself。Ah，well，itcouldn’tlast!"

"Andthegoverness？"

"Sheleftnextmorning。"

Therewasapause。MissPhyllislookedsadandthoughtful；I

smiledpensivelyandbeatmycaneagainstmyleg。

"Haveyoueverseenhersince？"askedMissPhyllis。

"No。"

"Shouldn’t——shouldn’tyouliketo，Mr。Carter？"

"Heavenforbid!"saidI。

SuddenlyMrs。Hilarypushedbackherchair，andturnedroundtous。

"Well，Ideclare，"saidshe，"Imustbegrowingstupid。HerehaveIbeenwritingtotheAgency，whenIknowoftheverythingmyself!ThePolwheedles’governessisjustleavingthem；she’sbeenthereoverfifteenyears。LadyPolwheedletoldmeshewasatreasure。Iwonderifshe’dgo!"

"Isshewhatmammawants？"

"Mydear，you’llbemostluckytogether。I’llwriteatonceandaskhertocometolunchtomorrow。Imetherthere。She’sanadmirableperson。"

Mrs。Hilarywheeledroundagain。IshookmyheadatMissPhyllis。

"Poorchildren!"saidI。"Manageabitoffunforthemsometimes。"

MissPhyllisassumedastaidandvirtuousair。

"Theymustbeproperlybroughtup，Mr。Carter，"saidshe。

"IsthereaHouseOpposite？"Iasked；andMissPhyllisblushed。

Mrs。Hilaryadvanced，holdingoutaletter。

"Youmayaswellpostthisforme，"saidshe。"Oh，andwouldyouliketocometolunchtomorrow？"

"TomeettheParagon？"

"No。She’llbethere，ofcourse；butyouseeit’sSaturday，andHilarywillbehere；andIthoughtyoumighttakehimoffsomewhereandleavePhyllisandmetohaveaquiettalkwithher。"

"Thatwon’tamusehermuch，"Iventuredtoremark。

"She’snotcomingtobeamused，"saidMrs。Hilaryseverely。

"Allright；I’llcome，"saidI，takingmyhat。

"Here’sthenoteforMissBannerman，"saidMrs。Hilary。

Thatsortofthingneversurprisesme。Ilookedattheletterandread"MissM。E。Bannerman。""M。E。"stoodfor"MaudElizabeth。"Iputmyhatbackonthetable。

"WhatsortofalookingpersonisthisMissBannerman？"Iasked。

"Oh，aspare，uprightwoman——hairalittlegray，and——Idon’tknowhowtodescribeit——herfacelooksalittleweather—beaten。

Shewearsglasses。"

"Thankyou，"saidI。"AndwhatsortofalookingpersonamI？"

Mrs。Hilarylookedscornful。MissPhyllisopenedhereyes。

"HowolddoIlook，MissPhyllis？"Iasked。

"Idon’tknow，"shesaiduncomfortably。

"Guess，"saidIsternly。

"F—forty—three——oh，orforty—two？"sheasked，withatimidupwardglance。

"Whenyou’vedoneyournonsense——"beganMrs。Hilary；butIlaidahandonherarm。

"Shouldyoucallmefat？"Iasked。

"Oh，no；notfat，"saidMrs。Hilary，withasmile，whichshestrovetorenderreassuring。

"Iamundoubtedlybald，"Iobserved。

"You’recertainlybald，"saidMrs。Hilary，withregretfulcandor。

Itookmyhatandremarked："Amanhasarighttothinkofhimself，butIamnotthinkingmainlyofmyself。Ishallnotcometolunch。"

"Yousaidyouwould，"criedMrs。Hilaryindignantly。

Ipoisedtheletterinmyhand，readingagain"MissM（aud）

E（lizabeth）Bannerman。"MissPhyllislookedatmecuriously，Mrs。Hilaryimpatiently。

"Whoknows，"saidI，"thatImaynotbeaRomance——aVanishedDream——aGreenMemory——anOasis？ApersonwhohasthefortunetobeanOasis，MissPhyllis，shouldbeverycareful。Iwillnotcometolunch。"

"DoyoumeanthatyouusedtoknowMissBannerman？"askedMrs。

Hilaryinherpleasantprosaicway。

Itwasasinseventeenyearsold；itwouldhardlycountagainsttheblamelessMissBannermannow。"YoumaytellherwhenI’mgone，"saidItoMissPhyllis。

MissPhylliswhisperedinMrs。Hilary’sear。

"Another？"criedMrs。Hilary，aghast。

"Itwastheveryfirst，"saidI，defendingmyself。

Mrs。Hilarybegantolaugh。Ismoothedmyhat。

"Tellher，"saidI，"thatIrememberedherverywell。"

"Ishalldonosuchthing，"saidMrs。Hilary。

"Andtellher，"Icontinued，"thatIamstillhandsome。"

"Ishan’tsayawordaboutyou，"saidMrs。Hilary。

"Ah，well，thatwillbebetterstill，"saidI。

"She’llhaveforgottenyourveryname，"remarkedMrs。Hilary。

Iopenedthedoor，butathoughtstruckme。Iturnedroundandobserved：

"Idaresayherhair’sjustassoftasever。Still——I’lllunchsomeotherday。"

AVERYFINEDAY

"Iseenothingwhatevertolaughat，"saidMrs。Hilarycoldly，whenIhadfinished。

"Ididnotaskyoutolaugh，"Iobservedmildly。"Imentioneditmerelyasatypicalcase。"

"It’snottypical，"shesaid，andtookupherembroidery。Butamomentlatersheadded：

"Poorboy!I’mnotsurprised。"

"I’mnotsurprisedeither，"Iremarked。"Itis，however，extremelydeplorable。"

"It’syourownfault。Whydidyouintroducehim？"

"Abook，"Iobserved，"mightbewrittenontheInjusticeoftheJust。HowcouldIsupposethathewould——？"

Bytheway，Imightaswellstatewhathe——thatis，myyoungcousinGeorge——haddone。Unlessoneisagenius，itisbesttoaimatbeingintelligible。

Well，hewasinlove；andwithaviewofprovidinghimwithanotherhouseatwhichhemightbelikelytomeettheadoredobject，IpresentedhimtomyfriendLadyMickleham。ThatwasonaTuesday。Afortnightlater，asIwassittinginHydePark（asIsometimesdo），Georgecameupandtookthechairnexttome。I

gavehimacigarette，butmadenoremark。Georgebeathiscanerestlesslyagainstthelegofhistrousers。

"I’vegottogouptomorrow，"heremarked。

"Ah，well，Oxfordisadelightfultown，"saidI。

"D————dhole，"observedGeorge。

Iwasabouttocontestthisopinionwhenavictoriadroveby。

Agirlsatinit，sidebysidewithaportlylady。

"George，George!"Icried。"Theresheis——Look!"

Georgelooked，raisedhishatwithsufficientpoliteness，andremarkedtome：

"Hangit，oneseesthosepeopleeverywhere。"

Iamnoteasilysurprised，butIconfessIturnedtoGeorgewithanexpressionofwonder。

"Afortnightago——"Ibegan。

"Don’tbeanass，Sam，"saidGeorge，rathersharply。"She’snotabadgirl，but——"Hebrokeoffandbegantowhistle。Therewasalongpause。Ilitacigar，andlookedatthepeople。

"IlunchedattheMicklehams’today，"saidGeorge，drawingafigureonthegravelwithhiscane。"Mickleham’snotabadfellow。"

"Oneofthebestfellowsalive，"Iagreed。

"Iwonderwhyshemarriedhim，though，"musedGeorge；andheadded，withapparentirrelevance，"It’sadashedbore，goingup。"

Andthenasmilespreadoverhisface；ablushaccompaniedit，andproclaimedGeorge’ssenseofdeliciouswickedness。Iturnedonhim。

"Outwithit!"Isaid。

"It’snothing。Don’tbeafool，"saidGeorge。

"Wheredidyougetthatrose？"Iasked。

"Thisrose？"herepeated，fondlingtheblossom。"Itwasgiventome。"

UponthisIgroaned——andIstillconsiderthatIhadgoodreasonformyaction。Itwasthegroanofamoralist。

"They’veaskedmetostayatTheTowersnextvac。，"saidGeorge，glancingatmeoutofthecornerofanimmoraleye。Perhapshethoughtittooimmoral，forheadded，"It’sallright，Sam。"I

believethatIhaveasmuchselfcontrolasmostpeople，butatthispointIchuckled。

"Whatthedeuceareyoulaughingat？"askedGeorge。

Imadenoanswer，andhewenton——

"Younevertoldmewhata——whatshewaslike，Sam。Wantedtokeepittoyourself，youolddog。"

"George——George——George!"saidI。"Yougouptomorrow？"

"Yes，confoundit!"

"Andtermlaststwomonths？"

"Yes，hangit!"

"Alliswell，"saidI，crossingmylegs。"ThereismorevirtueintwomonthsthaninTenCommandments。"

Georgeregardedmewithadispassionateair。

"You’reanawfulasssometimes，"heobservedcritically，andherosefromhisseat。

"Mustyougo？"saidI。

"Yes——gotalotofthingstodo。Lookhere，Sam，don’tgoandtalkabout——"

"Talkaboutwhat？"

"Anything，youoldidiot，"saidGeorge，withapleasedsmile，andhedugmeintheribswithhiscane，anddeparted。

Isaton，admiringthesimpleelementswhichconstitutethehappinessoftheyoung。Alas!Withadvancingyears，Wrongloseshalfitsflavor!Tobeimproperceases，byitself，tosatisfy。

Immersedinthesereflections，Ifailedtonoticethatabarouchehadstoppedoppositetome；andsuddenlyIfoundafootmanaddressingme。

"Begyourpardon，sir，"hesaid。"Herladyshipwishestospeaktoyou。"

"Itisablessedthingtobeyoung，Martin，"Iobserved。

"Yes，sir，"saidMartin。"It’safineday，sir。"

"Butveryshort，"saidI。Martinisrespectful，andsaidnothing——tome，atleast。Whathesaidtothecoachman，Idon’tknow。

AndthenIwentuptoDolly。

"Getinanddriveround，"suggestedDolly。

"Ican’t，"saidI。"Ihaveabadnose。"

"What’sthematterwithyournose？"askedDolly，smiling。

"Thejointisinjured，"saidI，gettingintothebarouche。AndI

addedseverely，"IsupposeI’dbettersitwithmybacktothehorses？"

"Oh，no，you’renotmyhusband，"saidDolly。"Sithere；"andshemaderoombyher，asshecontinued，"IratherlikeMr。George。"

"I’mashamedofyou，"Iobserved。"Consideringyourage——"

"Mr。Carter!"

"Considering，Isay，hisage，yourconductisscandalous。I

shallneverintroduceanyniceboystoyouagain。"

"Oh，pleasedo，"saidDolly，claspingherhands。

"Yougivethemroses，"saidI，accusingly。"Youmakethemfalsetotheirearliestloves——"

"Shewasapudding—facedthing，"observedDolly。

Ifrowned。Dolly，byanaccident，allowedthetipofherfingertotouchmyarmforaninstant。

"He’saniceboy，"saidshe。"Howlikeheistoyou，Mr。Carter!"

"Iamalongwaypastthat，"saidI。"Iamthirty—six。"

"Ifyoumeantobedisagreeable!"saidsheturningaway。"Ibegyourpardonfortouchingyou，Mr。Carter。"

"Ididnotnoticeit，LadyMickleham。"

"Wouldyouliketogetout？"

"It’smilesfrommyclub，"saidIdiscontentedly。