第1章

CONTENTS

I。ALiberalEducationII。CordialRelationsIII。RetributionIV。ThePerversenessofItV。AMatterofDutyVI。MyLastChanceVII。TheLittleWretchVIII。AnExpensivePrivilegeIX。AVeryDullAffairX。StrangebutTrueXI。TheVeryLatestThingXII。AnUncountedHourXIII。AReminiscenceXIV。AFineDayXV。TheHouseOppositeXVI。AQuickChangeXVII。ASlightMistakeXVIII。TheOtherLadyXIX。WhatMightHaveBeenXX。OneWayInALIBERALEDUCATION

"There’singratitudeforyou!"MissDollyFosterexclaimedsuddenly。

"Where!"Iasked，rousingmyselffrommeditation。

Shepointedtoayoungmanwhohadjustpassedwherewesat。Hewasdressedverysmartly，andwaswalkingwithaladyattiredintheheightofthefashion。

"Imadethatman，"saidDolly，"andnowhecutsmedeadbeforethewholeoftheRow!It’satrocious。Why，butforme，doyousupposehe’dbeatthismomentengagedtothreethousandayearand——andtheplainestgirlinLondon？"

"Notthat，"Ipleaded；"thinkof——"

"Well，veryplainanyhow。Iwasquitereadytobowtohim。

Ialmostdid。"

"Infactyoudid？"

"Ididn’t。IdeclareIdidn’t。"

"Oh，well，youdidn’tthen。Itonlylookedlikeit。"

"Imethim，"saidMissDolly，"threeyearsago。Atthattimehewas——oh，quiteunpresentable。Hewaseverythingheshouldn’tbe。

Hewasateetotaler，youknow，andhedidn’tsmoke，andhewasalwaysgoingtoconcerts。Oh，andheworehishairlong，andhistrousersshort，andhishatonthebackofhishead。Andhisumbrella——"

"Wheredidhewearthat？"

"Hecarriedthat，Mr。Carter。Don’tbesilly!Carrieditunrolled，youknow，andgenerallyapaperparcelintheotherhand；andhehadspectaclestoo。"

"Hehascertainlychanged，outwardlyatleast。

"Yes，Iknow；well，Ididthat。Itookhiminhand，andIjusttaughthim，andnow——!"

"Yes，Iknowthat。Buthowdidyouteachhim？GivehimSaturdayeveninglectures，orwhat？"

"Oh，every—eveninglectures，andmost—morningwalks。AndI

taughthimtodance，andbrokehiswretchedfiddlewithmyownhands!"

"Whatveryarbitrarydistinctionsyoudraw!"

"Idon’tknowthatyoumean。Idolikeamantobesmart，anyhow。Don’tyou，Mr。Carter？You’renotsosmartasyoumightbe。Now，shallItakeyouinhand？"Andshesmileduponme。

"Let’shearyourmethod。Whatdidyoudotohim。？"

"ToPhilMeadows？Oh，nothing。Ijustslippedinaremarkhereandthere，wheneverhetalkednonsense。Iusedtospeakjustattherighttime，youknow。"

"Buthowhadyourwordssuchinfluence，MissFoster？"

"Oh，well，youknow，Mr。Carter，ImadeitaconditionthatheshoulddojustwhatIwantedinlittlethingslikethat。DidhethinkIwasgoingtowalkaboutwithamancarryingabrownpaperparcel——asifwehadbeentotheshopforapoundoftea？"

"Still，Idon’tseewhyheshouldalterallhis——"

"Oh，youarestupid!Ofcourse，helikedme，youknow。"

"Oh，didhe？Isee。"

"Youseemtothinkthatveryfunny。"

"Notthathedid——butthat，apparently，hedoesn’t。"

"Wellyougotoutofthatratherneatly——foryou。No，hedoesn’tnow。Yousee，hemisunderstoodmymotive。Hethought——well，I

dobelievehethoughtIcaredforhim，youknow。OfcourseI

didn’t。"

"Notabit？"

"Justasafriend——andapupil，youknow。Andwhenhe’dhadhishaircutandboughtafrockcoat（fancyhe’dneverhadone!），helookedquitenice。Hehasniceeyes。Didyounoticethem。"

"Lord，no!"

"Well，you’resounobservant。"

"Oh，notalways。I’veobservedthatyour——"

"Pleasedon’t!It’snouse，isit？"

Ilookedveryunhappy。ThereisanunderstandingthatIamveryunhappysinceMissFoster’sengagementtotheEarlofMicklehamwasannounced。

"WhatwasIsayingbefore——beforeyou——youknow——oh，aboutPhilMeadows，ofcourse。Ididlikehimverymuch，youknow，orI

shouldn’thavetakenallthattrouble。Why，hisownmotherthankedme!"

"Ihavenomoretosay，"saidI。

"Butshewrotemeahorridletterafterward。"

"You’resoveryelliptical。"

"Soverywhat，Mr。Carter？"

"Youleavesomuchout，Imean。Afterwhat？"

"Why，afterIsenthimaway。Didn’tItellyou？Oh，wehadthemostawfulscene。Heraved，Mr。Carter。Hecalledmethemosthorridnames，and——"

"Torehishair？"

"Itwasn’tlongenoughtogetholdof，"shetittered。"Butdon’tlaugh。Itwasreallydreadful。Andsounjust!Andthen，nextday，whenIthoughtitwascomfortablyover，youknow，hecameback，and——andapologized，andcalledhimselfthemostawfulnames，and——well，thatwasreallyworse。"

"Whatdidthefellowcomplainof？"Iaskedinwonderingtones。

"Oh，hesaidI’ddestroyedhisfaithinwomen，youknow，andthatI’dledhimon，andthatIwas——well，hewasveryrudeindeed。

Andhewentonwritingmeletterslikethatforawholeyear？Itmademequiteuncomfortable。"

"Buthedidn’tgobacktoshorttrousersandafiddle，didhe？"I

askedanxiously。

"Oh，no。Butheforgotallheowedme，andhetoldmethathisheartwasdead，andthatheshouldneverloveanyoneagain。"

"Buthe’sgoingtomarrythatgirl。"

"Oh，hedoesn’tcareabouther，"saidMissDollyreassuringly。

"It’sthemoney，youknow。Hehadn’tafarthingofhisown。

Nowhe’llbesetupforlife。"

"Andit’sallduetoyou!"saidIadmiringly。

"Well，itis，really。"

"Idon’tcallhersuchabad—lookinggirl，though。"（Ihadn’tseenherface。）

"Mr。Carter!She’shideous!"

Idroppedthatsubject。

"Andnow，"saidMissDollyagain，"hecutsmedead!"

"Itistheheightofingratitude。Why，toloveyouwasaliberaleducation!"

"Yes，wasn’tit？Hownicelyyouputthat。Aliberaleducation!’

IshalltellArchie。"（ArchieisLordMickleham。）

"What，aboutPhilMeadows？"

"Goodnessme，no，Mr。Carter。Justwhatyousaid，youknow。"

"ButwhynottellMicklehamaboutPhilMeadows？"Iurged。"It’salltoyourcredit，youknow。"

"Iknow，butmenaresofoolish。Yousee，Archiethinks——"

"Ofcoursehedoes。"

"Youmightletmefinish。"

"Archiethinksyouwereneverinlovebefore。"

"Yes，hedoes。Well，ofcourse，Iwasn’tinlovewithPhil——"

"Notalittlebit？"

"Oh，well——"

"Norwithanyoneelse？"

MissDollylookedforaninstantinmydirection。

"Norwithanyoneelse？saidI。

MissDollylookedstraightinfrontofher。

"Norwith——"Ibegan。

"Hullo，oldchappie，wheredidyouspringfrom？"

"Why，Archie!"criedMissDolly。

"Oh，howareyou，Mickleham，oldman？Takethisseat；I’mjustoff——justoff。Yes，Iwas，uponmyhonor——gottomeetamanattheclub。Goodbye，MissFoster。Jove!I’mlate!"

AndasIwentIheardMissDollysay，"Ithoughtyouwerenevercoming，Archie，dear!"Well，shedidn’tthinkhewascomingjustthen。NomoredidI。

CORDIALRELATIONS

TheotherdayIpaidacallonMissDollyFosterforthepurposeofpresentingtohermysmallofferingontheoccasionofhermarriagetoLordMickleham。Itwasaprettylittlebitofjewelry——apearlheart，broken（rubiesplayedthepartofblood）

andheldtogetherbyagoldpin，setwithdiamonds，thewholesurmountedbyanearl’scoronet。Ihadtakensometroubleaboutit，andwasgratefulwhenMissDollyaskedmetoexplainthesymbolism。

"Itismyheart，"Iobserved。"Thefractureisyourmaking；thepin——"

HereMissDollyinterrupted；totellthetruthIwasnotsorry，forIwasfairlygraveledforthemeaningofthepin。

"Whatnonsense，Mr。Carter!"shesaid；"butit’sawfullypretty。

Thankssoveryverymuch。Aren’trelationsfunnypeople？"

"Ifyouwishtochangethesubject，praydo，"saidI。"I’llchangeanythingexceptmyaffections。"

"Lookhere，"shepursued，holdingoutabundleofletters。"Herearethecongratulatoryepistlesfromrelations。ShallIreadyouafew？"

"Itwillbeamostagreeablemodeofpassingthetime，"saidI。

"ThisisfromAuntGeorgiana——she’sawidow——livesatCheltenham。

’MydearestDorothea——’"

"Who？"

"Dorothea’smyname，Mr。Carter。Itmeansthegiftofheaven，youknow。"

"’MydearestDorothea，IhaveheardthenewsofyourengagementtoLordMicklehamwithdeepthankfulness。Toobtaintheloveofanhonestmanisagreatprize。Ihopeyouwillproveworthyofit。Marriageisatrialandanopportunity——’"

"Hear，hear!"saidI。"Atrialforthehusbandand——"

"Bequiet，Mr。Carter。’Atrialandanopportunity。Itsearchestheheartandaffordsasphereofusefulnesswhich——’Soshegoeson，youknow。Idon’tseewhyIneedbelecturedjustbecauseI’mgoingtobemarried，doyou，Mr。Carter？"

"Let’stryanother，"saidI。"Who’sthatonpinkpaper？"

"Oh，that’sGeorgyVane。She’sawfulfun。’DearoldDolly，——Soyou’vebroughtitoff。Heartycongrats。Ithoughtyouweregoingtobesillyandthrowaway——’There’snothingelsethere，Mr。Carter。Lookhere。Listentothis。It’sfromUncleWilliam。He’saclergyman，youknow。’MydearNiece，——Ihaveheardwithgreatgratificationofyourengagement。YourauntandIuniteinallgoodwishes。IrecollectLordMickleham’sfatherwhenIhadacuracynearWorcester。Hewasaregularattendantatchurchandasupporterofallgoodworksinthediocese。Ifonlyhissontakesafterhim（fancyArchie!）Youhavesecuredaprize。Ihopeyouhaveapropersenseoftheresponsibilitiesyouareundertaking。Marriageaffordsnosmallopportunities，italsoentailscertaintrials——’"

"Why，you’rereadingAuntGeorgianaagain。"

"AmI？No，it’sUncleWilliam。"

"Thenlet’stryafreshcast——unlessyou’llfinishGeorgyVane’s。"

"Well，here’sCousinSusan’s。She’sanoldmaid，youknow。It’sverylong。Here’sabit：’Womanhasitinherpowertoexerciseasacredinfluence。IhavenotthepleasureofknowingLordMickleham，butIhope，mydear，thatyouwilluseyourpoweroverhimforgood。Itisuselessformetodenythatwhenyoustayedwithme，Ithoughtyouwereaddictedtofrivolity。Doubtlessmarriagewillsoberyou。TrytomakeagooduseofitslessonsIamsendingyouabiscuittin’——andsoon。"

"Averyproperletter，"saidI。

MissDollyindulgedinaslightgrimace，andtookupanotherletter。

"This，"shesaid，"isfrommysister—in—law，Mrs。AlgernonFoster。"

"AdaughterofLordDoldrums，wasn’tshe？"

"Yes。’MydearDorothea，——Ihaveheardyournews。Idohopeitwillturnouthappily。Ibelievethatanywomanwhoconscientiouslydoesherdutycanfindhappinessinmarriedlife。

Herhusbandandchildrenoccupyallhertimeandallherthoughts，andifshecanlookforfewofthelighterpleasuresoflife，shehasatleasttheknowledgethatsheisofuseintheworld。Pleaseaccepttheaccompanyingvolumes（it’sBrowning）asasmall——’Isay，Mr。Carter，doyouthinkit’sreallylikethat？"

"Thereisstilltimetodrawback，"Iobserved。

"Oh，don’tbesilly。Here，thisismybrotherTom’s。’DearDol，——IthoughtMicklehamratheranasswhenImethim，butI

daresayyouknowbest。What’shisplacelike？Doeshetakeamoor？IthoughtIreadthathekeptayacht。Doeshe？Givehimmyloveandakiss。Goodluck，oldgirl。Tom。P。S。——I’mgladit’snotme，youknow。’"

"Adisgustingletter，"Iobserved。

"Notatall，"saidMissDolly，dimpling。"It’sjustlikedearoldTom。Listentograndpapa’s。’MydearGranddaughter，——Thealliance’（Iratherlikeit’sbeingcalledanalliance，Mr。

Carter。ItsoundsliketheRoyalFamily，doesn’tit？）’youareabouttocontractisinallrespectsasuitableone。Isendyoumyblessingandasmallchecktohelptowardsyourtrousseau。——Yoursaffectionately，Jno。Wm。Foster。’"

"That，"saidI，"isthebestuptonow。"

"Yes，it’s500，"saidshe，smiling。"Here’soldLadyM。’s。"

"Whose？"Iexclaimed。

"Archie’smother’s，youknow。’MydearDorothea（asIsupposeI

mustcallyounow）——Archibaldhasinformedusofhisengagement，andIandthegirls（therearefivegirls，Mr。Carter）hastentowelcomehisbride。IamsureArchiewillmakehiswifeveryhappy。Heisratherparticular（likehisdearfather），buthehasagoodheart，andisnotfidgetyabouthismeals。OfcourseweshallbedelightedtomoveoutofTheTowersatonce。Ihopeweshallseeagreatdealofyousoon。Archieisfullofyourpraises，andwethoroughlytrusthistaste。Archie——’It’sallaboutArchie，yousee。"

"Naturally，"saidI。

"Well，Idon’tknow。IsupposeIcountalittle，too。Oh，lookhere。Here’sCousinFred’s，buthe’salwayssosilly。Ishan’treadyouhis。"

"O，justabitofit，"Ipleaded。

"Well，here’sonebit。’IsupposeIcan’tmurderhim，soImustwishhimjoy。AllIcansayis，Dolly，thathe’stheluckiest（somethingIcan’tread——eitherfellowor——devil）Ieverheardof。Iwonderifyou’veforgottenthatevening——’"

"Well，goon。"Forshestopped。

"Oh，there’snothingelse。"

"Infact，youhaveforgottentheevening？"

"Entirely，"saidMissDolly，tossingherhead。

"Buthesendsmealoveofabracelet。Hecan’tpossiblypayforit，poorboy。"

"Youngknave!"saidIseverely。（Ihadpaidformypearlheart。）

"Thencomesalotfromgirls。Oh，there’sonefromMaudTottenham——she’sasecondcousin，youknow——it’sratheramusing。

’IusedtoknowyourFIANCEslightly。Heseemedverynice，butit’salongwhileago，andIneversawmuchofhim。Ihopeheisreallyfondofyou，andthatitisnotamerefancy。Sinceyoulovehimsomuch，itwouldbeapityifhedidnotcaredeeplyforyou。’"

"Interpret，MissDolly，"saidI。

"Shetriedtocatchhimherself，"saidMissDolly。

"Ah，Isee。Isthatall？"

"Theothersaren’tveryinteresting。"

"Thenlet’sfinishGeorgyVane’s。"

"Really？"sheasked，smiling。

"Yes。Really。"

"Oh，ifyoudon；’tmind，Idon’t，"saidshe，laughing，andshehuntedoutthepinknoteandspreaditbeforeher。

"Letmesee。WherewasI？Oh，here。’Ithoughtyouweregoingtobesillyandthrowawayyourchancesonsomeofthemenwhousedtoflirtwithyou。ArchieMicklehammaynotbeagenius，buthe’sagoodfellowandaswellandrich；andhe’snotapauper，likePhilMeadows，orasnoblikeCharlieDawson，or——’shallIgoon，Mr。Carter？No，Iwon’t。Ididn’tseewhatitwas。"

"Yes，youshallgoon。"

"O，no，Ican’t，"andshefoldeduptheletter。"ThenIwill，"

andI’mashamedtosayIsnatchedtheletter。MissDollyjumpedtoherfeet。Ifledbehindthetable。Sheranround。Idodged。

"’Or’"Ibegantoread。

"Stop!"criedshe。

"’Orayoungspendthriftlikethatman——Iforgethisname——whoyouusedtogoonwithatsuchapaceatMonteCarlolastwinter。’"

"Stop!"shecried。"Youmuststop，Mr。Carter。"

SothenIstopped。Ifoldedtheletterandhandeditbacktoher。Hercheeksflushedredasshetookit。

"Ithoughtyouwereagentleman，"saidshe，bitingherlip。

"IwasatMonteCarlolastwintermyself，"saidI。

"LordMickleham，"saidthebutler，throwingopenthedoor。

RETRIBUTION

InfutureIamgoingtobecarefulwhatIdo。Iamalso——andthisisbynomeanslessimportant——goingtobeverycarefulwhatMissDollyFosterdoes。Everybodyknows（ifImayquoteherparticularfriendNelliePhaeton）thatdearDollymeansnoharm，butsheis"justalittleharumscarum。"IthankedMissPhaetonfortheexpression。

Thefactisthat"oldladyM。"（HereIquoteMissDolly）sentformetheotherday。IhavenotthehonorofknowingtheCountess，andIwentinsometrepidation。WhenIwasusheredin，LadyMicklehamputupher"starers。"（Youknowthoseabominations!

Pince—nezwithlongtorture——Imeantortoise——shellhandles。）

"Mr。——er——Carter？"saidshe。

Ibowed。IwouldhavedenieditifIcould。

"Mydears!"saidLadyMickleham。

Uponthisfiveyoungladieswhohadbeensittinginfivestraight—backedchairs，doingfivepiecesofembroidery，rose，bowed，andfiledoutoftheroom。Ifeltverynervous。

Apausefollowed。ThentheCountessobserved——anditseemedatfirstratherirrelevant——

"I’vebeenreadinganunpleasantstory。"

"InthesedaysofFrenchinfluence，"Ibeganapologetically（notthatIwritesuchstories，oranystories，butLadyMicklehaminvitesanapologeticattitude），andmyeyewanderedtothetable。Isawnothingworse（orbetter）thanthemorningpaperthere。

"Containedinafriend’sletter，"shecontinued，focusingthe"starers"fullonmyface。

Ididnotknowwhattodo，soIbowedagain。

"Itmusthavebeenaspainfulforhertowriteasformetoread，"LadyMicklehamwenton。"Andthatissayingmuch。Beseated，pray。"

Ibowed，andsatdowninoneofthestraight—backchairs。Ialsobegan，inmyfright，toplaywithoneofthepiecesofembroidery。

"IsLadyJane’sworkinyourway？"（LadyJaneisnamedafterJane，thefamousCountess，Lady—in—WaitingtoCarolineofAnspach。）

Idroppedtheembroidery，andputmyfootonmyhat。

"Ibelieve，Mr。Carter，thatyouareacquaintedwithMissDorotheaFoster？"

"Ihavethatpleasure，"saidI。

"Whoisabouttobemarriedtomyson，theEarlofMickleham？"

"That，Ibelieve，isso，"saidI。Iwasbeginningtopullmyselftogether。

"Myson，Mr。Carter，isofasimpleandtrustingdisposition。

PerhapsIhadbettercometothepoint。Iaminformedbythisletterthat，inconversationwiththewritertheotherday，Archibaldmentioned，quiteincidentally，someverystartlingfacts。Thosefactsconcernyou，Mr。Carter。"

"MayIaskthenameofthewriter？"

"Idonotthinkthatisnecessary，"saidshe。"SheisaladyinwhomIhavetheutmostconfidence。"

"Thatis，ofcourse，enough，"saidI。

"Itappears，Mr。Carter——andyouwillexcusemeifIspeakplainly——（Isetmyteeth）thatyouhave，inthefirstplace，giventomyson’sbrideaweddingpresent，whichIcanonlydescribeas——"

"Apearlornament，"Iinterposed；"witharubyortwo，and——"

"Apearlheart，"shecorrected；"er——fractured，andthatyouexplainedthatthisabsurdarticlerepresentedyourheart。"

"Merebadinage，"saidI。

"Inexecrablybadtaste，"saidshe。

Ibowed。

"Infact，mostoffensive。Butthatisnottheworst。Frommyson’sfurtherstatementsitappearsthatononeoccasion，atleast，hefoundyouandMissFosterengagedinwhatIcanonlycall——"

Iraisedmyhandinprotest。TheCountesstooknonotice。

"WhatIcanonlycallromping。"

"Romping!"Icried。

"Athingnotonlyatrociouslyvulgaratalltimes，butunderthecircumstances——needIsaymore？Mr。Carter，youwereengagedinchasingmyson’sfuturebrideroundatable!"

"Pardonme，LadyMickleham。Yourson’sfuturebridewasengagedinchasingmeroundatable。"

"Itisthesamething，"saidLadyMickleham。

"Ishouldhavethoughttherewasadistinction，"saidI。

"Noneatall。"

Ifellbackonasecondlineofdefense。

"Ididn’tlethercatchme，LadyMickleham，"Ipleaded。

LadyMicklehamgrewquitered。Thismademefeelmoreatmyease。

"No，sir。Ifyouhad——"

"Goodnessknows!"Imurmured，shakingmyhead。

"Asithappened，however，mysonenteredinthemiddleofthisdisgraceful——"

"Itwasatthebeginning，"saidI，witharegretfulsigh。

Uponthis——andIhavereallyneverbeensopleasedatanythinginallmylife——theCountess，theviolenceofheremotionspenetratingtoherveryfingers，grippedthehandleofher"starers"withsuchforcethatshebrokeitintwo!Shewasawomanoftheworld，andinamomentshelookedasifnothinghadhappened。Withmeitwasdifferent；andthatIamnotnowonLadyMickleham’svisitinglistisdueto（interaliaetenormia）

thefactthatIlaughed!ItwasoutbeforeIcouldhelpit。InasecondIwasasgraveasamute。Themischiefwasdone。TheCountessrose。Iimitatedherexample。

"Youareamused？"saidshe，andhertonesbanishedthelastofmymirth。Istumbledonmyhatanditrolledtoherfeet。

"Itisnotprobable，"sheobserved，"thatafterMissFoster’smarriageyouwillmeetheroften。Youwillmovein——er——somewhatdifferentcircles。"

"Imaycatchaglimpseofherinhercarriagefromthetopofmy’bus，"saidI。

LadyMicklehamrangthebell。Istoopedformyhat。Totellthetruth，Iwasratherafraidtoexposemyselfinsuchadefenselessattitude，buttheCountesspreservedherselfcontrol。Thebutleropenedthedoor。Ibowed，andlefttheCountessregardingmethroughthemaimed"starers。"ThenIfoundthebutlersmiling。Heprobablyknewthesignsoftheweather。Iwouldn’tbeLadyMickleham’sbutlerifyoumademeaduke。

AsIwalkedhomethroughthePark，ImetMissDollyandMickleham。Theystopped。

Iwalkedon。Micklehamseizedmebythecoattails。

"Doyoumeantocutus？"hecried。

"Yes，"saidI。

"Why，whatthedeuce？——"hebegan。

"I’veseenyourmother，"saidI。"Iwish，Mickleham，thatwhenyoudohappentointrudeasyoudidtheotherday，youwouldn’trepeatwhatyousee。"

"Lord!"hecried。"She’snotheardofthat。IonlytoldAuntCynthia。"

Isaidsomethingabout"AuntCynthia。"

"Does——doessheknowitall？"askedMissDolly。

"Morethanall——muchmore。"

"Didn’tyousmoothitover？"saidMissDollyreproachfully。

"Onreflection，"saidI，"Idon’tknowthatIdid——much。"（I

hadn’t，youknow。）

SuddenlyMicklehamburstoutlaughing。

"Whatagame!"heexclaimed。

"That’sallverywellforyou，"saidDolly。"Butdoyouhappentorememberthatwedinetheretonight？"Archiegrewgrave。

"Ihopeyou’llenjoyyourselves，"saidI。"Ialwaysclingtothebeliefthatthewickedarepunished。"AndIlookedatMissDolly。

"Neveryoumind，littlewoman，"saidArchie，drawingMissDolly’sarmthroughhis，"I’llseeyouthrough。Afterall，everybodyknowsthatoldCarter’sanass。"

Thatpieceofuniversalknowledgemayhelpmatters，butIdonotquiteseehow。Iwalkedon，forMissDollyhadquiteforgottenme，andwaslookingupatArchieMicklehamlike——well，hangit，inthewaytheydo，youknow。SoIjustwalkedon。

IbelieveMissDollyhasgotahusbandwhois（letussay）goodenoughforher。And，foronereasonandanother，Iamgladofit。AndIalsobelievethatsheknowsit。AndIam——I

suppose——gladofthat，too。Oh，yes，ofcourse，Iam。Ofcourse。

THEPERVERSENESSOFIT

"Itellyouwhat，Mr。Carter，"saidMissNelliePhaeton，touchingupRhinowithherwhip，"loveinacottageis——"

"Lordforgiveus，cinders，ashes，dust，"Iquoted。

WewerespankingroundtheParkbehindReadyandRhino。MissPhaeton’shorsesareverylarge；hergroomisverysmall，andhercourageisindomitable。Iamnogreathandatdrivingmyself，andIamnotalwaysquitecomfortable。Moreover，thestricterpartofmyacquaintanceconsider，Ibelieve，thatMissPhaeton’sattentionstomearesomewhatpronounced，andthatIoughtnottodrivewithherinthePark。

"You’reright，"shewenton。"Whatagirlwantsisagoodhouseandlotsofcash，andsomeridin’andalittlehuntin’and——"

"Afewg’s!’"Icriedinshudderingentreaty。"Ifyouloveme，ag’ortwo。"

"Well，Isupposeso，"saidshe。"Youcan’tgoridin’withoutgees，canyou？"

Apparentlyonecouldgodrivingwithoutany，butIdidnotpursuethesubject。

"It’sonlyinstoriesthatpeopleareinlovewhentheymarry，"

observedMissPhaetonreflectively。

"Yes，andthenit’sgenerallywithsomebodyelse，"saidI。

"Oh，ifyoucountthat!"saidshe，hittingReadyratherviciously。Weboundedforward，andIheardthelittlegroombumpingonthebackseat。Iamalwaysgladnottobeagroom——it’sacup—and—ballsortoflife，whichmustbeverywearying。

"Wereyoueverinlove？"sheasked，justavoidingabroughamwhichcontainedtheDuchessofDexminster。（If，bytheway，I

havetorunintoanyone，IlikeittobeaDuchess；yougetamuchhandsomerparagraph。）

"Yes，"saidI。

"Often？"

"Oh，nottoooften，andIalwaystakegreatcare，youknow。"

"Whatof？"

"Thatitshallbequiteoutofthequestion，youknow。It’snotatalldifficult。Ionlyhavetoavoidpersonsofmoderatemeans。"

"Butaren’tyouapersonof——？"

"Exactly。That’swhy。SoIchooseeitherapauper——whenit’simpossible——oranheiress——whenit’spreposterous。See？"

"Butdon’tyoueverwanttoget——？"beganMissPhaeton。

"Let’stalkaboutsomethingelse，"saidI。

"Ibelieveyou’rehumbuggin’me，"saidMissPhaeton。

"Iamofferingaveiledapology，"saidI。

"Stuff!"saidshe。"YouknowyoutoldDollyFosterthatIshouldmakeanexcellentwifeforatrainer。"

Oh，thesewomen!Amanhadbettertalktoaphonograph。

"Oranybodyelse，"saidIpolitely。

MissPhaetonwhippedupherhorses。

"Lookout!There’sthemountedpoliceman，"Icried。

"No，heisn’t。Areyouafraid？"sheretorted。

"I’mnotfittodie，"Ipleaded。

"Idon’tcareapinforyouropinion，youknow，"shecontinued（I

hadneversupposedthatshedid）；"butwhatdidyoumeanbyit？"

"Ineversaidit。"

"Oh!"

"Allright——Ineverdid。"

"ThenDollyinventedit？"

"Ofcourse，"saidIsteadily。

"Onyourhonor？"

"Oh，come，MissPhaeton!"

"Would——wouldotherpeoplethinkso？"sheasked，withahighlysurprisingtouchoftimidity。

"Nobodywould，"Isaid。"Onlyasnarlingoldwretchwouldsayso，justbecausehethoughtitsmart。"

Therewasalongpause。ThenMissPhaetonaskedmeabruptly：

"Younevermethim，didyou？"

"No。"

Apauseensued。WepassedtheDuchessagain，andscratchedthenoseofherpoodle，whichwaslookingoutofthecarriagewindow。

MissPhaetonflickedRhino，andthegroombehindwentplop—plopontheseat。

"Helivesintown，youknow，"remarkedMissPhaeton。

"Theymostlydo——andwriteaboutthecountry，"saidI。

"Whyshouldn’tthey？"sheaskedfiercely。

"MydearMissPhaeton，byallmeansletthem，"saidI。

"He’sawfullyclever，youknow，"shecontinued；"buthewouldn’talwaystalk。Sometimeshejustsatandsaidnothin’，orreadabook。"

AsuddenintuitiondiscoveredMr。Gay’sfeelingstome。

"Youweretalkingabouttherun，orsomething，Isuppose？"

"Yes，orthebag，youknow。"

AsshespokeshepulledupReadyandRhino。Thelittlegroomjumpeddownandstoodunder（notat）theirheads。Ileantbackandsurveyedthecrowdsittingandwalking。MissPhaetonflickedaflyoffRhino’sear，putherwhipinthesocket，andleantbackalso。

"ThenIsupposeyoudidn’tcaremuchabouthim？"Iasked。

"Oh，Ilikedhimprettywell，"sheansweredverycarelessly。

Atthismoment，lookingalongthewalk，Isawamancomingtowardus。Hewasahandsomefellow，withjustatouchof"softness"inhisface。Hewasdressedincorrectfashion，savethathishairwasatriflelonger，hiscoatatriflefuller，hishatatriflelarger，histieatriflelooserthantheywerewornbymost。Hecaughtmyattention，andIwentonlookingathimforalittlewhile，tillalightmovementofmycompanion’smademeturnmyhead。

MissPhaetonwassittingboltupright；shefidgetedwiththereins；shetookherwhipoutofthesocketandputitbackagain；

and，tomyamazement，hercheekswereveryred。

Presentlythemancameoppositethecarriage。MissPhaetonbowed。Heliftedhishat，smiled，andmadeasiftopasson。

MissPhaetonheldoutherhand。Icouldseeamomentarygleamofsurpriseinhiseyes，asthoughhethoughthercordialitymorethanhemighthavelookedfor——possiblyevenmorethanhecaredabout。Buthestoppedandshookhands。

"Howareyou，Mr。Gay？"shesaid，notintroducingme。

"Stillwithyourinseparables!"hesaidgayly，withawaveofhishandtowardsthehorses。"Ihope，MissPhaeton，thatinthenextworldyourfaithfulsteedswillbeallowedtobearyoucompany，orwhatwillyoudo？"

"O，youthinkIcarefornothin’buthorses？"saidshepetulantly，butsheleanttowardshim，andgavemehershoulder。

"O，no，"helaughed。"Dogs，also，and，I’mafraid，onedayitwasferrets，wasn’tit？"

"Have——haveyouwrittenanypoetrylately？"sheasked。

"Howconscientiousofyoutoinquire!"heexclaimed，hiseyestwinkling。"O，yes，ahundredthings。Haveyou——killed——anythinglately？"

Icouldswearsheflushedagain。Hervoicetrembledassheanswered：

"No，notlately。"

IcaughtsightofhisfacebehindherbackandIthoughtIsawatraceofpuzzle——nothingmore。Heheldouthishand。

"Well，sogladtohaveseenyou，MissPhaeton，"saidhe，"butI

mustrunon。Goodbye。"

"Goodbye，Mr。Gay，"saidshe。

And，liftinghishatagain，smilingagaingayly，hewasgone。

ForamomentortwoIsaidnothing。ThenIremarked：

"Sothat’syourfriendGay，isit？He’snotabad—lookingfellow。"

"Yes，that’shim，"saidshe，and，asshespoke，shesankbackinherseatforamoment。Ididnotlookatherface。Thenshesatupstraightagainandtookthewhip。

"Wanttostayanylonger？"sheasked。

"No，"saidI。

Thelittlegroomsprangaway，RhinoandReadydashedahead。

"ShallIdropyouattheclub？"sheasked。"I’mgoin’home。"

"I’llgetouthere，"saidI。

Wecametoastandagain，andIgotdown。

"Goodbye，"Isaid。

Shenoddedatme，butsaidnothing。Asecondlaterthecarriagewastearingdowntheroad，andthelittlegroomhangingonfordearlife。

Ofcourse，it’sallnonsense。She’snottheleastsuitedtohim；

she’dmakehimmiserable，andthenbemiserableherself。Butitseemsalittleperverse，doesn’tit？Infact，twiceatleastbetweenthecoursesatdinnerIcaughtmyselfbeingsorryforher。Itis，whenyouthinkofit，soremarkablyperverse。

AMATTEROFDUTY

LadyMicklehamisbackfromherhoneymoon。ImeanyoungLadyMickleham——DollyFoster（well，ofcourseIdo。FancytheDowageronahoneymoon!）Shesignifiedthefacttomebyorderingmetocallonheratteatime；shehad，shesaid，somethingwhichshewishedtoconsultmeaboutconfidentially。Iwent。

"Ididn’tknowyouwereback，"Iobserved。

"Oh，we’vebeenbackafortnight，butwewentdowntoTheTowers。

Theywereallthere，Mr。Carter。"

"Allwho？"

"AllArchie’speople。Thedowagersaidwemustgetreallytoknowoneanotherassoonaspossible。I’mnotsureIlikereallyknowingpeople。Itmeansthattheysaywhatevertheyliketoyou，anddon’tgetupoutofyourfavoritechairwhenyoucomein。"

"Iagree，"saidI，"thatasoupconofunfamiliarityisnotamiss。"

"Ofcourseit’snicetobeoneofthefamily，"shecontinued。

"Thecatisthat，"saidI。"Iwouldnotgiveafigforit。"

"AndtheDowagertaughtmethewaysofthehouse。"

"Ah，shetaughtmethewayoutofit。"

"Andshowedmehowtobemostdisagreeabletotheservants。"

"Itisthefirstlessonofahousekeeper。"

"AndtoldmewhatArchieparticularlyliked，andhowbaditwasforhim，poorboy。"

"Whatshouldwedowithoutourmothers？Idonot，however，seehowIcanhelpinallthis，LadyMickleham。"

"Howfunnythatsounds!"

"Aren’tyouaccustomedtoyourdignityyet？"

"Imeantfromyou，Mr。Carter。"

Ismiled。ThatisDolly’sway。AsMissPhaetonsays，shemeansnoharm，anditisadmirablyconducivetothepleasureofatete—a—tete。

"Itwasn’tthatIwantedtoaskyouabout，"shecontinued，aftershehadindulgedinapensivesigh（withadutifullybrightsmileandaglanceatArchie’sphotographtofollow。Herbehavioralwaysremindsmeofavariedandwellassortedmenu）。"Itwasaboutsomethingmuchmoredifficult。Youwon’ttellArchie，willyou？"

"Thisbecomesinteresting，"Iremarked，puttingmyhatdown。

"Youknow，Mr。Carter，thatbeforeIwasmarried——oh，howlongagoitseems!"

"Notatall。"

"Don’tinterrupt。ThatbeforeIwasmarriedIhadseveral——thatistosay，several——well，several——"

"Startquiteafresh，"Isuggestedencouragingly。

"Well，then，severalmenweresillyenoughtothinkthemselves——youknow。"

"Noonebetter，"Iassentedcheerfully。

"Oh，ifyouwon’tbesensible!——Well，yousee，manyofthemareArchie’sfriendsaswellasmine；and，ofcourse，they’vebeentocall。"

"Itisbutgoodmanners，"saidI。

"Oneofthemwaitedtobesentfor，though。"

"Leavethatfellowout，"saidI。

"WhatIwanttoaskyouisthis——andIbelieveyou’renotsilly，really，youknow，exceptwhenyouchoosetobe。"

"WalkintheRowanyafternoon，"saidI，"andyouwon’tfindtenwisermen。"

"It’sthis。OughtItotellArchie？"

"Goodgracious!Here’saproblem!"

"Ofcourse，"pursuedLadyMickleham，openingherfan，"it’sinsomewaysmorecomfortablethatheshouldn’tknow。"

"Forhim？"

"Yes——andforme。Butthenitdoesn’tseemquitefair。"

"Tohim？"

"Yes——andtome。Becauseifhecametoknowfromanybodyelse，hemightexaggeratethethings，youknow。"

"Impossible!"

"Mr。Carter!"

"I——er——meanheknowsyoutoowelltodosuchathing。"

"Oh，Isee。Thankyou。Yes。Whatdoyouthink？"

"WhatdoestheDowagersay？"

"Ihaven’tmentionedittotheDowager。"

"Butsurely，onsuchapoint，herexperience——"

"Shecan’thaveany，"saidLadyMicklehamdecisively。"Ibelieveinherhusband，becauseImust。Butnobodyelse!You’renotgivingmeyouropinion。"

Ireflectedforamoment。

"Haven’tweleftoutonepointtoview？"Iventuredtosuggest。

"I’vethoughtitalloververycarefully，"saidshe；"bothasitwouldaffectmeandasitwouldaffectArchie。"

"Quiteso。Nowsupposeyouthinkhowitwouldaffectthem？"

"Who？"

"Why，themen。"

LadyMicklehamputdownhercupoftea。"Whataverycuriousidea!"sheexclaimed。

"Giveittimetosinkin，"saidI，helpingmyselftoanotherpieceoftoast。Shesatsilentforafewmoments——presumablytoallowofthepermeationIsuggested。Ifinishedmyteaandleantbackcomfortably。ThenIsaid：

"Letmetakemyowncase。Shouldn’tIfeelratherawkward——？"

"Oh，it’snogoodtakingyourcase，"sheinterrupted。

"Whynotmineaswellasanother？"

"BecauseItoldhimaboutyoulongago。"

Iwasnotsurprised。ButIcouldnotpermitLadyMicklehamtolaughatmeintheunconscionablemannerinwhichsheproceededtolaugh。Ispreadoutmyhandsandobservedblandly：

"Whynotbeguided——astotheothers，Imean——byyourhusband’sexample？"

"Archie’sexample？What’sthat？"

"Idon’tknow；butyoudo，Isuppose。"

"Whatdoyoumean，Mr。Carter？"sheasked，sittingupright。

"Well，hasheevertoldyouaboutMaggieAdeane？"

"Ineverheardofher。"

"OrLillyCourtenay？"

"Thatgirl!"

"OrAliceLayton？"

"Thered—hairedLayton？"

"OrFlorenceCunliffe？"

"Whowasshe？"

"OrMillieTrehearne？"

"Shesquints，Mr。Carter。"

"Or——"

"Stop，stop!Whatdoyoumean？Whatshouldhetellme？"

"Oh，Iseehehasn’t。Nor，Isuppose，aboutSylviaFenton，orthatlittleDelancygirl，orhandsomeMiss——whatwashername？"

"Holdyourtongue——andtellmewhatyoumean。"

"LadyMickleham，"saidIgravely，"ifyourhusbandhasnotthoughtfittomentiontheseladies——andotherswhomIcouldname——toyou，howcouldIpresume——？"

"DoyoumeantotellmethatArchie——？"

"He’donlyknownyouthreeyears，yousee。"

"Thenitwasbefore——？"

"Someofthemwerebefore，"saidI。

LadyMicklehamdrewalongbreath。

"Archiewillbeinsoon，"saidshe。

Itookmyhat。

"Itseemstome，"Iobserved，"thatwhatissauce——that，Ishouldsay，husbandandwifeoughttostandonanequalfootinginthesematters。Sincehehas——nodoubtforgoodreasons——notmentionedtoyou——"

"AliceLaytonwasapositivefright。"

"Shecamelast，"saidI。"Justbeforeyou，youknow。However，asIwassaying——"

"AndthathorribleSylviaFenton——"

"Oh，hecouldn’thaveknownyoulongthen。AsIwassaying，I

should，ifIwereyou，treathimashehastreatedyou。Inmycaseitseemstobetoolate。"

"I’msorryItoldhimthat。"

"Oh，praydon’tmind，it’sofnoconsequence。Astotheothers——"

"IshouldneverhavethoughtitofArchie!"

"Oneneverknows，"saidI，withanapologeticsmile。"Idon’tsupposehethinksitofyou。"

"Iwon’ttellhimasingleword。Hemayfindoutifhelikes。

Whowasthelastgirlyoumentioned？"

"Isitanyusetryingtorememberalltheirnames？"Iaskedinasoothingtone。"Nodoubthe’sforgottenthembynow——justasyou’veforgottentheothers。"

"AndtheDowagertoldmethathehadneverhadanattachmentbefore。"

"Oh，iftheDowagersaidthat!Ofcourse，theDowagerwouldknow!"

"Don’tbesosilly，forgoodnesssake!Areyougoing？"

"CertainlyIam。ItmightannoyArchietofindmeherewhenhewantstotalktoyou。"

"Well，Iwanttotalktohim。"

"Ofcourseyouwon’trepeatwhatI’ve——"

"Ishallfindoutformyself，"shesaid。

"Goodbye。IhopeI’veremovedallyourtroubles？"

"O，yes，thankyou。Iknowwhattodonow，Mr。Carter。"

"Alwayssendformeifyou’reinanytrouble。Ihavesomeexp——"

"Goodbye，Mr。Carter。"

"Goodbye，LadyMickleham。AndrememberthatArchie，likeyou——"

"Yes，yes；Iknow。Mustyougo？"

I’mafraidImust。I’veenjoyedourtalkso——"

"There’sArchie’sstep。"

Ilefttheroom。OnthestairsImetArchie。Ishookhandssympathetically。IwassorryforArchie。Butingreatcausestheindividualcannotbeconsidered。Ihaddonemydutytomysex。

MYLASTCHANCE

"Nowmind，"saidMrs。HilaryMusgrave，impressively，"thisisthelasttimeIshalltakeanytroubleaboutyou。She’saverynicegirl，quitepretty，andshe’llhavealotofmoney。Youcanbeverypleasantwhenyoulike——"

"Thisunsolicitedtestimonial——"

"Whichisn’toften——andifyoudon’tdoitthistimeIwashmyhandsofyou。Why，howoldareyou？"

"Hush，Mrs。Hilary，"

"Youmustbenearly——"

"It’sfalse——false——false!"

"Comealong，"saidMrs。Hilary，andsheaddedoverhershoulder，"shehasaslightnorth—countryaccent。"

"ItmighthavebeenScotch，"saidI。

"Sheplaysthepianoagooddeal。"

"Itmighthavebeenthefiddle，"saidI。

"She’sveryfondofBrowning。"

"ItmighthavebeenIbsen，"saidI。

Mrs。Hilary，seeingthatIwasdeterminedtolookonthebrightside，smiledgraciouslyonmeandintroducedmetotheyounglady。Shewasdecidedlygood—looking，freshandsincereofaspect，withlargeinquiringeyes——eyeswhichIfeltwoulddemandalittletoomuchofmeatbreakfast——butthenalargetea—urnputsthatallright。

"MissSophiaMilton——Mr。Carter，"saidMrs。Hilary，andleftus。

Well，wetriedthetheatersfirst；butasshehadonlybeentotheLyceumandIhadonlybeentotheGaioety，wesoongottotheendofthat。ThenwetriedArt：sheaskedmewhatIthoughtofDegas：Ievadedthequestionbycriticizingadrawingofahorseinlastweek’sPunch——whichshehadn’tseen。Uponthisshestartedliterature。Shesaid"SomeQualmsandaShiver"wasthebookoftheseason。Iputmymoneyon"TheQueenoftheQuorn。"

Deadstopagain!AndIsawMrs。Hilary’seyeuponme；therewaswrathinherface。Somethingmustbedone。Abrilliantideaseizedme。Ihadreadthatfour—fifthsofthecultureofEnglandwereConservative。IalsowasaConservative。Itwasfourtooneon!Istartedpolitics。IcouldhavewhoopedforjoywhenI

elicitedsomethingparticularlyincisiveabouttheignoranceofthemasses。

"Idohopeyouagreewithme，"saidMissMilton。"Themoreonereadsandthinks，themoreoneseeshowfatallyfalseatheoryitisthattheignorantmasses——peoplesuchasIhavedescribed——caneverruleagreatEmpire。"

"TheEmpirewantsgentlemen；that’swhatitwants，"saidI，noddingmyheadandglancingtriumphantlyatMrs。Hilary。

"Menandwomen，"saidshe，"whoareacquaintedwiththebestthathasbeensaidandthoughtonallimportantsubjects。"

AtthetimeIbelievedthisobservationtobeoriginal，butI

havesincebeentoldthatitwasborrowed。Iwasdelightedwithit。

"Yes，"saidI，"andhavegotastakeinthecountry，youknow，andknowhowtobehaveemselvesintheHouse，don’tyouknow？"

"Whatwehavetodo，"pursuedMissMilton，"istoguidethevoters。Thesepoorrusticsneedtobeinformed——"

"Justso，"Ibrokein。"Theyhavetobetold——"

"Oftherealnatureofthequestions——"

"Andwhichcandidatetosupport。"

"Ortheymustinfallibly"——sheexclaimed。

"Gettheirmarchingorders，"Icried，inrapture。ItwasexactlywhatIalwaysdidonmysmallproperty。

"Oh，Ididn’tquitemeanthat，"shesaidreproachfully。

"Oh，well，neitherdidI——quite，"Irespondedadroitly。Whatwaswrongwiththegirlnow？

"ButwiththehelpoftheLeague——"shewenton。

"Doyoubelong？"Icried，moredelightedthanever。

"O，yes，"saidshe。"Ithinkit’saduty。Iworkedveryhardatthelastelection。Ispentdaysdistributingpackagesof——"

ThenImade，I’msorrytosay，afalsestep。Iobserved，interrupting：

"Butit’sticklishworknow，eh？Sixmonths’’hard’wouldn’tbepleasant，wouldit？"

"Whatdoyoumean，Mr。——erCarter？"sheasked。

Iwasstillblind。IbelieveIwinked，andI’msureIwhispered，"Tea。"

MissMiltondrewherselfupverystraight。

"Idonotbribe，"shesaid。"WhatIdistributeispamphlets。"

NowIsupposethat"pamphlets"and"blanketsdon’treallysoundmuchalike，butIwasagitated。

"Quiteright，"saidI。"Pooroldthings!Theycan’taffordproperfuel。"

Sherosetoherfeet。

"Iwasnotjoking，"shesaidwithhorribleseverity。

"NeitherwasI，"Ideclaredinhumbleapology。"Didn’tyousayblankets？’"

"Pamphlets。"

"Oh!"

Therewasalongpause。IglancedatMrs。Hilary。Thingshadnotfallenoutashappilyastheymight，butIdidnotmeantogiveupyet。

"Iseeyou’reright，"Isaid，stillhumbly。"TodescendtosuchmeansasIhadinmymindis——"

"Tothrowawayourtrueweapons，"saidsheearnestly。（Shesatdownagain——goodsign。）

"Whatwereallyneed——"Ibegan。

"Isareformoftheupperclasses，"saidshe。

"Letthemgiveanexampleofduty，ofself—denial，offrugality。"

Iwasnottobecaughtoutagain。

"JustwhatIalwayssay，"Iobserved，impressively。

"Letthemputawaytheirhorseracing，theirbetting，theirluxuriousliving，their——"

"You’reright，MissMilton，"saidI。

"Letthemsetanexampleofmorality。"

"Theyshould，"Iassented。

MissMiltonsmiled。

"Ithoughtweagreedreally，"saidshe。

"I’msurewedo，"criedI；andIwinkedwithmy"off"eyeatMrs。

HilaryasIsatdownbesideMissMilton。

"NowIheardofamantheotherday，"saidshe，"who’snearly40。

He’sgotanestateinthecountry。Henevergoesthere，exceptforafewdays’shooting。Helivesintown。Hespendstoomuch。

Hepassesanabsolutelyvacantexistenceinaroundofemptygaiety。Hehasbynomeansagoodreputation。Hedanglesabout，wastinghistimeandhismoney。Isthatthesortofexample——？"

"He’satraitortohisclass，"saidIwarmly。

"Ifyouwanthim，youmustlookonaracecourse，oratatailor’s，orinsomefashionablewoman’sboudoir。Andhisestatelooksafteritself。He’stooselfishtomarry，tooidletowork，toosillytothink。"

Ibegantobesorryforthisman，inspiteofhispeccadilloes。

"IwonderifI’vemethim，"saidI。"I’moccasionallyintown，whenIcangettimetorunup。What’shisname？"

"Idon’tthinkIheard——orI’veforgotten。Buthe’sgottheplacenexttoafriendofmineinthecountry，andshetoldmeallabouthim。She’sexactlytheoppositesortofperson——orshewouldn’tbemyfriend。"

"Ishouldthinknot，MissMilton，"saidIadmiringly。

"Oh，Ishouldliketomeetthatman，andtellhimwhatIthinkofhim!"saidshe。"Suchmenashedomoreharmthanadozenagitators。Socontemptible，too!"

"It’srevoltingtothinkof，"saidI。

"I’msogladyou——"beganMissMilton，quiteconfidentially；I

pulledmychairatriflecloser，andcastanapparentlycarelessglancetowardsMrs。Hilary。SuddenlyIheardavoicebehindme。

"Eh，what？Uponmyhonoritis!Why，Carter，myboy，howareyou？Eh，what？MissMilton，too，Ideclare!Well，now，whatapityAnniedidn’tcome!"

Idisagreed。IhateAnnie。ButIwasverygladtoseemyfriendandneighbor，RobertDinnerly。He’sasensibleman——hiswife’salittleprig。

"Oh，Mr。Dinnerly，"criedMissMilton，"howfunnythatyoushouldcomejustnow？IwasjusttryingtorememberthenameofamanMrs。Dinnerlytoldmeabout。IwastellingMr。Carterabouthim。

Youknowhim。"

"Well，MissMilton，perhapsIdo。Describehim。"

"Idon’tbelieveAnnieevertoldmehisname，butshewastalkingabouthimatourhouseyesterday。"

"ButIwasn’tthere，MissMilton。"

"No，"saidMissMilton，"buthe’sgotthenextplacetoyoursinthecountry。"

Ipositivelyleapedfrommyseat。

"Why，goodgracious，Carterhimself，youmean？"criedDinnerly，laughing。"Well，thatisagoodun——ha—ha—ha!"

Sheturnedastonyglareonme。

"DoyoulivenexttoMr。Dinnerlyinthecountry？"sheasked。

IwouldhavedenieditifDinnerlyhadnotbeenthere。Asitwas，Iblewmynose。

"Iwonder，"saidMissMilton，"whathasbecomeofAuntEmily。"

"MissMilton，"saidI，"byahappychanceyouhaveenjoyedaluxury。Youhavetoldthemanwhatyouthinkofhim。"

"Yes，"saidshe；"andIhaveonlytoaddthatheisalsoahypocrite。"

Pleasant，wasn’tit？YetMrs。Hilarysaysitwasmyfault。

That’sawomanallover!

THELITTLEWRETCH

SeeingthatlittleJohnnyTompkinswassafelyoutofthecountry，underinjunctionstomakeanewmanofhimself，andtokeepthatnewman，whenmade，attheAntipodes，IcouldnotseeanythingindiscreetintouchingonthematterinthecourseofconversationwithMrs。HilaryMusgrave。Inpointoffact，Iwascurioustofindoutwhatsheknew，andsupposingsheknew，whatshethought。SoImentionedlittleJohnnyTompkins。

"Oh，thelittlewretch!"criedMrs。Hilary。"Youknowhecameheretwoorthreetimes？AnybodycanimposeonHilary。"

"HappywomanI——Imeanunhappyman，Mrs。Hilary。"

"Andhowmuchwasithestole？"

"Hardonathousand，"saidI。"Foratime，youknow，hewasquiteamanoffashion。"

"Oh，Iknow。Hecamehereinhisownhansom，perfectlydressed，and——"

"Behavedallright，didn’the？"

"Yes。Ofcoursetherewasasomething。"

"Oryouwouldn’thavebeendeceived!"saidI，withasmile。

"Iwasn’tdeceived，"saidMrs。Hilary，anadmirableflushappearingonhercheeks。

"Thatistosay，Hilarywouldn’t。"

"Oh，Hilary!Whydidn’thisemployersprosecutehim，Mr。

Carter？"

"Inthefirstplace，hehadthatinestimableadvantageinacareerofdishonesty——respectablerelations。"

"Well，butstill——"

"Hiswidowedmotherwasatrump，youknow。"

"Doyoumeanagoodwoman。"

"Doubtlessshewas；butImeanagoodcard。However，therewasanotherreason。"

"Ican’tseeany，"declaredMrs。Hilary。

"I’mgoingtosurpriseyou，"saidI。"Hilaryintercededforhim。"

"Hilary？"

"Youdidn’tknowit？Ithoughtnot。Well，hedid。"

"Why，healwayspretendedtowanthimtobeconvicted。"

"CunningHilary!"saidI。

"Heusedtospeakmoststronglyagainsthim。"

"Thatwashisguile，"saidI。

"Oh，butwhyintheworld——？"shebegan；thenshepaused，andwentonagain："ItwasnothingtodowithHilary。"

"Hilarywentwithmetoseehim，youknow，whiletheyhadhimunderlockandkeyatthefirm’soffices。"

"Didhe？Ineverheardthat。"

"Andhewasmuchimpressedwithhisbearing。"

"Well，Isuppose，Mr。Carter，thatifhewasreallypenitent——"

"Neversawamanlesspenitent，"Iinterrupted。"Hegloriedinhiscrime；ifIrememberhisexactexpression，itwasthatthejamwasjollywellworththepowder，andiftheylikedtosendhimtochokeetheycouldandbe——andsufferaccordingly，youknow。"

"Andafterthat，Hilary——!"

"Oh，anybodycanimposeonHilary，youknow。Hilaryonlyaskedwhatthejamwas。"

"It’sahorridexpression，butIsupposeitmeantactingthepartofagentleman，didn’tit？"

"Notentirely。AccordingtowhathetoldHilary，Johnnywasinlove。"

"Oh，andhestoleforsomewretched——？"

"Nowdobecareful。Whatdoyouknowaboutthelady？"

"Thelady!IcanimagineJohnnyTompkin’s’sideal？"

"SocanI，ifyoucometothat。"

"Andshemusthaveknownhismoneywasn’thisown。"

"Whymustshe？"Iasked。"AccordingtowhathetoldHilary，shedidn’t。"

"Idon’tbelieveit，"saidMrs。Hilary，withdecision。

"Hilarybelievedit!"

"Oh，Hilary!"

"But，thenHilaryknewthegirl。"

"Hilaryknew——!YoumeantosayHilaryknew——？

"Noonebetter，"saidIcomposedly。