第7章

SowasI。

Sheslippedonehandfree，andwasstrokingmyhairwithitinagentlemotherlyway。Ibowedmyhotheadonhershoulderandfeltadimsenseofpeace，arestfulnesswhichwasverypleasant。

"Youmusttakemetheresomeday，darling，"shewassaying。

"ItisnotonlythatIloveyousomuch，Iwanttoseeyourcountry——yourpeople——yourmother——"shepausedreverently。

"Oh，howIshallloveyourmother！"

Ihadnotbeeninlovemanytimes——myexperiencedidnotcomparewithTerry’s。ButsuchasIhadwassodifferentfromthisthatIwasperplexed，andfullofmixedfeelings：partlyagrowingsenseofcommongroundbetweenus，apleasantrestedcalmfeeling，whichIhadimaginedcouldonlybeattainedinoneway;andpartlyabewilderedresentmentbecausewhatIfoundwasnotwhatIhadlookedfor。

Itwastheirconfoundedpsychology！Heretheywerewiththisprofoundhighlydevelopedsystemofeducationsobredintothemthateveniftheywerenotteachersbyprofessiontheyallhadageneralproficiencyinit——itwassecondnaturetothem。

Andnochild，stormilydemandingacookie"betweenmeals，"

wasevermoresubtlydivertedintoaninterestinhouse—buildingthanwasIwhenIfoundanapparentlyimperativedemandhaddisappearedwithoutmynoticingit。

Andallthetimethosetendermothereyes，thosekeenscientificeyes，notingeveryconditionandcircumstance，andlearninghowto"taketimebytheforelock"andavoiddiscussionbeforeoccasionarose。

Iwasamazedattheresults。Ifoundthatmuch，verymuch，ofwhatIhadhonestlysupposedtobeaphysiologicalnecessitywasapsychologicalnecessity——orsobelieved。Ifound，aftermyideasofwhatwasessentialhadchanged，thatmyfeelingschangedalso。

Andmorethanall，Ifoundthis——afactorofenormousweight——thesewomenwerenotprovocative。Thatmadeanimmensedifference。

ThethingthatTerryhadsocomplainedofwhenwefirstcame——thattheyweren’t"feminine，"theylacked"charm，"nowbecameagreatcomfort。Theirvigorousbeautywasanaestheticpleasure，notanirritant。Theirdressandornamentshadnotatouchofthe"come—and—find—me"element。

EvenwithmyownEllador，mywife，whohadforatimeunveiledawoman’sheartandfacedthestrangenewhopeandjoyofdualparentage，sheafterwardwithdrewagainintothesamegoodcomradeshehadbeenatfirst。Theywerewomen，PLUS，andsomuchplusthatwhentheydidnotchoosetoletthewomannessappear，youcouldnotfinditanywhere。

Idon’tsayitwaseasyforme;itwasn’t。ButwhenImadeappealtohersympathiesIcameupagainstanotherimmovablewall。

Shewassorry，honestlysorry，formydistresses，andmadeallmannerofthoughtfulsuggestions，oftenquiteuseful，aswellasthewiseforesightIhavementionedabove，whichoftensavedalldifficultybeforeitarose;buthersympathydidnotalterherconvictions。

"IfIthoughtitwasreallyrightandnecessary，Icouldperhapsbringmyselftoit，foryoursake，dear;butIdonotwantto——notatall。Youwouldnothaveameresubmission，wouldyou？

Thatisnotthekindofhighromanticloveyouspokeof，surely？

Itisapity，ofcourse，thatyoushouldhavetoadjustyourhighlyspecializedfacultiestoourunspecializedones。"

Confoundit！Ihadn’tmarriedthenation，andItoldherso。

Butsheonlysmiledatherownlimitationsandexplainedthatshehadto"thinkinwe’s。"

Confounditagain！HereI’dhaveallmyenergiesfocusedononewish，andbeforeIknewitshe’dhavethemdissipatedinonedirectionoranother，somesubjectofdiscussionthatbeganjustatthepointIwastalkingaboutandendedmilesaway。

ItmustnotbeimaginedthatIwasjustrepelled，ignored，lefttocherishagrievance。Notatall。Myhappinesswasinthehandsofalarger，sweeterwomanhoodthanIhadeverimagined。Beforeourmarriagemyownardorhadperhapsblindedmetomuchofthis。

IwasmadlyinlovewithnotsomuchwhatwasthereaswithwhatIsupposedtobethere。NowIfoundanendlesslybeautifulundiscoveredcountrytoexplore，andinitthesweetestwisdomandunderstanding。ItwasasifIhadcometosomenewplaceandpeople，withadesiretoeatatallhours，andnootherinterestsinparticular;andasifmyhosts，insteadofmerelysaying，"Youshallnoteat，"hadpresentlyarousedinmealivelydesireformusic，forpictures，forgames，forexercise，forplayinginthewater，forrunningsomeingeniousmachine;and，inthemultitudeofmysatisfactions，Iforgottheonepointwhichwasnotsatisfied，andgotalongverywelluntilmealtime。

Oneofthecleverestandmostingeniousofthesetrickswasonlycleartomemanyyearsafter，whenweweresowhollyatoneonthissubjectthatIcouldlaughatmyownpredicamentthen。

Itwasthis：Yousee，withus，womenarekeptasdifferentaspossibleandasfeminineaspossible。Wemenhaveourownworld，withonlymeninit;wegettiredofourultra—malenessandturngladlytotheultra—femaleness。Also，inkeepingourwomenasfeminineaspossible，weseetoitthatwhenweturntothemwefindthethingwewantalwaysinevidence。Well，theatmosphereofthisplacewasanythingbutseductive。Theverynumbersofthesehumanwomen，alwaysinhumanrelation，madethemanythingbutalluring。When，inspiteofthis，myhereditaryinstinctsandrace—traditionsmademelongforthefeminineresponseinEllador，insteadofwithdrawingsothatIshouldwanthermore，shedeliberatelygavemealittletoomuchofhersociety。

——alwaysde—feminized，asitwere。Itwasawfullyfunny，really。

HerewasI，withanIdealinmind，forwhichIhotlylonged，andherewasshe，deliberatelyobtrudingintheforegroundofmyconsciousnessaFact——afactwhichIcoollyenjoyed，butwhichactuallyinterferedwithwhatIwanted。Iseenowclearlyenoughwhyacertainkindofman，likeSirAlmrothWright，resentstheprofessionaldevelopmentofwomen。Itgetsinthewayofthesexideal;ittemporarilycoversandexcludesfemininity。

Ofcourse，inthiscase，IwassofondofElladormyfriend，ofElladormyprofessionalcompanion，thatInecessarilyenjoyedhersocietyonanyterms。Only——whenIhadhadherwithmeinherde—femininecapacityforasixteen—hourday，Icouldgotomyownroomandsleepwithoutdreamingabouther。

Thewitch！Ifeveranybodyworkedtowooandwinandholdahumansoul，shedid，greatsuperwomanthatshewas。Icouldn’tthenhalfcomprehendtheskillofit，thewonder。ButthisIsoonbegantofind：thatunderallourcultivatedattitudeofmindtowardwomen，thereisanolder，deeper，more"natural"feeling，therestfulreverencewhichlooksuptotheMothersex。

Sowegrewtogetherinfriendshipandhappiness，ElladorandI，andsodidJeffandCelis。

WhenitcomestoTerry’spartofit，andAlima’s，I’msorry——

andI’mashamed。OfcourseIblamehersomewhat。Shewasn’tasfineapsychologistasEllador，andwhat’smore，Ithinkshehadafar—descendedatavistictraceofmoremarkedfemaleness，neverapparenttillTerrycalleditout。Butwhenallissaid，itdoesn’texcusehim。Ihadn’trealizedtothefullTerry’scharacter——Icouldn’t，beingaman。

Thepositionwasthesameaswithus，ofcourse，onlywiththesedistinctions。Alima，ashademorealluring，andseveralshadeslessableasapracticalpsychologist;Terry，ahundredfoldmoredemanding——andproportionatelylessreasonable。

Thingsgrewstrainedverysoonbetweenthem。Ifancyatfirst，whentheyweretogether，inhergreathopeofparentageandhiskeenjoyofconquest——thatTerrywasinconsiderate。Infact，Iknowit，fromthingshesaid。

"Youneedn’ttalktome，"hesnappedatJeffoneday，justbeforeourweddings。"ThereneverwasawomanyetthatdidnotenjoybeingMASTERED。Allyourprettytalkdoesn’tamounttoahillo’beans——IKNOW。"AndTerrywouldhum：

I’vetakenmyfunwhereIfoundit。

I’veroguedandI’verangedinmytime，andThethingsthatIlearnedfromtheyellowandblack，They’avehelpedmea’eapwiththewhite。

Jeffturnedsharplyandlefthimatthetime。Iwasabitdisquietedmyself。

PooroldTerry！Thethingshe’dlearneddidn’thelphimaheapinHerland。Hisideawastotake——hethoughtthatwastheway。

Hethought，hehonestlybelieved，thatwomenlikeit。NotthewomenofHerland！NotAlima！

Icanseehernow——onedayintheveryfirstweekoftheirmarriage，settingforthtoherday’sworkwithlongdeterminedstridesandhard—setmouth，andstickingclosetoEllador。

Shedidn’twishtobealonewithTerry——youcouldseethat。

Butthemoreshekeptawayfromhim，themorehewantedher——naturally。

Hemadeatremendousrowabouttheirseparateestablishments，triedtokeepherinhisrooms，triedtostayinhers。Butthereshedrewthelinesharply。

Hecameawayonenight，andstampedupanddownthemoonlitroad，swearingunderhisbreath。Iwastakingawalkthatnighttoo，butIwasn’tinhisstateofmind。Tohearhimrageyou’dnothavebelievedthathelovedAlimaatall——you’dhavethoughtthatshewassomequarryhewaspursuing，somethingtocatchandconquer。

Ithinkthat，owingtoallthosedifferencesIspokeof，theysoonlostthecommongroundtheyhadatfirst，andwereunabletomeetsanelyanddispassionately。Ifancytoo——thisispureconjecture——thathehadsucceededindrivingAlimabeyondherbestjudgment，herrealconscience，andthatafterthatherownsenseofshame，thereactionofthething，madeherbitterperhaps。

Theyquarreled，reallyquarreled，andaftermakingituponceortwice，theyseemedtocometoarealbreak——shewouldnotbealonewithhimatall。Andperhapsshewasabitnervous，Idon’tknow，butshegotMoadinetocomeandstaynextdoortoher。Also，shehadasturdyassistantdetailedtoaccompanyherinherwork。

Terryhadhisownideas，asI’vetriedtoshow。Idaresayhethoughthehadarighttodoashedid。Perhapsheevenconvincedhimselfthatitwouldbebetterforher。Anyhow，hehidhimselfinherbedroomonenight……

ThewomenofHerlandhavenofearofmen。Whyshouldtheyhave？Theyarenottimidinanysense。Theyarenotweak;

andtheyallhavestrongtrainedathleticbodies。OthellocouldnothaveextinguishedAlimawithapillow，asifshewereamouse。

Terryputinpracticehispetconvictionthatawomanlovestobemastered，andbysheerbruteforce，inalltheprideandpassionofhisintensemasculinity，hetriedtomasterthiswoman。

Itdidnotwork。IgotaprettyclearaccountofitlaterfromEllador，butwhatweheardatthetimewasthenoiseofatremendousstruggle，andAlimacallingtoMoadine。Moadinewasclosebyandcameatonce;oneortwomorestronggravewomenfollowed。

Terrydashedaboutlikeamadman;hewouldcheerfullyhavekilledthem——hetoldmethat，himself——buthecouldn’t。Whenheswungachairoverhisheadonesprangintheairandcaughtit，twothrewthemselvesbodilyuponhimandforcedhimtothefloor;

itwasonlytheworkofafewmomentstohavehimtiedhandandfoot，andthen，insheerpityforhisfutilerage，toanesthetizehim。

Alimawasinacoldfury。Shewantedhimkilled——actually。

TherewasatrialbeforethelocalOverMother，andthiswoman，whodidnotenjoybeingmastered，statedhercase。

Inacourtinourcountryhewouldhavebeenheldquite"withinhisrights，"ofcourse。Butthiswasnotourcountry;itwastheirs。Theyseemedtomeasuretheenormityoftheoffensebyitseffectuponapossiblefatherhood，andhescornedeventoreplytothiswayofputtingit。

Hedidlethimselfgoonce，andexplainedindefinitetermsthattheywereincapableofunderstandingaman’sneeds，aman’sdesires，aman’spointofview。Hecalledthemneuters，epicenes，bloodless，sexlesscreatures。Hesaidtheycouldofcoursekillhim——assomanyinsectscould——butthathedespisedthemnonetheless。

Andallthosesterngravemothersdidnotseemtomindhisdespisingthem，notintheleast。

Itwasalongtrial，andmanyinterestingpointswerebroughtoutastotheirviewsofourhabits，andafterawhileTerryhadhissentence。Hewaited，grimanddefiant。Thesentencewas：

"Youmustgohome！"

CHAPTER12

ExpelledWehadallmeanttogohomeagain。IndeedwehadNOTmeant——notbyanymeans——tostayaslongaswehad。Butwhenitcametobeingturnedout，dismissed，sentawayforbadconduct，wenoneofusreallylikedit。

Terrysaidhedid。Heprofessedgreatscornofthepenaltyandthetrial，aswellasalltheothercharacteristicsof"thismiserablehalf—country。"Butheknew，andweknew，thatinany"whole"

countryweshouldneverhavebeenasforgivinglytreatedaswehadbeenhere。

"Ifthepeoplehadcomeafterusaccordingtothedirectionsweleft，there’dhavebeenquiteadifferentstory！"saidTerry。

Wefoundoutlaterwhynoreservepartyhadarrived。Allourcarefuldirectionshadbeendestroyedinafire。Wemighthavealldiedthereandnooneathomehaveeverknownourwhereabouts。

Terrywasunderguardnow，allthetime，knownasunsafe，convictedofwhatwastothemanunpardonablesin。

Helaughedattheirchillhorror。"Parcelofoldmaids！"hecalledthem。"They’realloldmaids——childrenornot。Theydon’tknowthefirstthingaboutSex。"

WhenTerrysaidSEX，sexwithaverylarge_S_，hemeantthemalesex，naturally;itsspecialvalues，itsprofoundconvictionofbeing"thelifeforce，"itscheerfulignoringofthetruelifeprocess，anditsinterpretationoftheothersexsolelyfromitsownpointofview。

IhadlearnedtoseethesethingsverydifferentlysincelivingwithEllador;andasforJeff，hewassothoroughlyHerlandizedthathewasn’tfairtoTerry，whofrettedsharplyinhisnewrestraint。

Moadine，graveandstrong，assadlypatientasamotherwithadegeneratechild，keptsteadywatchonhim，withenoughotherwomencloseathandtopreventanoutbreak。Hehadnoweapons，andwellknewthatallhisstrengthwasofsmallavailagainstthosegrim，quietwomen。

Wewereallowedtovisithimfreely，buthehadonlyhisroom，andasmallhigh—walledgardentowalkin，whilethepreparationsforourdeparturewereunderway。

Threeofusweretogo：Terry，becausehemust;I，becausetwoweresaferforourflyer，andthelongboattriptothecoast;

Ellador，becauseshewouldnotletmegowithouther。

IfJeffhadelectedtoreturn，Celiswouldhavegonetoo——theywerethemostabsorbedoflovers;butJeffhadnodesirethatway。

"WhyshouldIwanttogobacktoallournoiseanddirt，ourviceandcrime，ourdiseaseanddegeneracy？"hedemandedofmeprivately。Weneverspokelikethatbeforethewomen。

"Iwouldn’ttakeCelisthereforanythingonearth！"heprotested。

"She’ddie！She’ddieofhorrorandshametoseeourslumsandhospitals。HowcanyouriskitwithEllador？You’dbetterbreakittohergentlybeforeshereallymakesuphermind。"

Jeffwasright。IoughttohavetoldhermorefullythanIdid，ofallthethingswehadtobeashamedof。Butitisveryhardtobridgethegulfofasdeepadifferenceasexistedbetweenourlifeandtheirs。Itriedto。

"Lookhere，mydear，"Isaidtoher。"Ifyouarereallygoingtomycountrywithme，you’vegottobepreparedforagoodmanyshocks。It’snotasbeautifulasthis——thecities，Imean，thecivilizedparts——ofcoursethewildcountryis。"

"Ishallenjoyitall，"shesaid，hereyesstarrywithhope。

"Iunderstandit’snotlikeours。Icanseehowmonotonousourquietlifemustseemtoyou，howmuchmorestirringyoursmustbe。

Itmustbelikethebiologicalchangeyoutoldmeaboutwhenthesecondsexwasintroduced——afargreatermovement，constantchange，withnewpossibilitiesofgrowth。"

Ihadtoldherofthelaterbiologicaltheoriesofsex，andshewasdeeplyconvincedofthesuperioradvantagesofhavingtwo，thesuperiorityofaworldwithmeninit。

"Wehavedonewhatwecouldalone;perhapswehavesomethingsbetterinaquietway，butyouhavethewholeworld——allthepeopleofthedifferentnations——allthelongrichhistorybehindyou——allthewonderfulnewknowledge。Oh，Ijustcan’twaittoseeit！"

WhatcouldIdo？Itoldherinsomanywordsthatwehadourunsolvedproblems，thatwehaddishonestyandcorruption，viceandcrime，diseaseandinsanity，prisonsandhospitals;anditmadenomoreimpressiononherthanitwouldtotellaSouthSeaIslanderaboutthetemperatureoftheArcticCircle。Shecouldintellectuallyseethatitwasbadtohavethosethings;butshecouldnotFEELit。

WehadquiteeasilycometoaccepttheHerlandlifeasnormal，becauseitwasnormal——noneofusmakeanyoutcryovermerehealthandpeaceandhappyindustry。Andtheabnormal，towhichweareallsosadlywellacclimated，shehadneverseen。

Thetwothingsshecaredmosttohearabout，andwantedmosttosee，werethese：thebeautifulrelationofmarriageandthelovelywomenwhoweremothersandnothingelse;beyondtheseherkeen，activemindhungeredeagerlyfortheworldlife。

"I’malmostasanxioustogoasyouareyourself，"sheinsisted，"andyoumustbedesperatelyhomesick。"

Iassuredherthatnoonecouldbehomesickinsuchaparadiseastheirs，butshewouldhavenoneofit。

"Oh，yes——Iknow。It’slikethoselittletropicalislandsyou’vetoldmeabout，shininglikejewelsinthebigbluesea——Ican’twaittoseethesea！Thelittleislandmaybeasperfectasagarden，butyoualwayswanttogetbacktoyourownbigcountry，don’tyou？

Evenifitisbadinsomeways？"

Elladorwasmorethanwilling。Buttheneareritcametoourreallygoing，andtomyhavingtotakeherbacktoour"civilization，"

afterthecleanpeaceandbeautyoftheirs，themoreIbegantodreadit，andthemoreItriedtoexplain。

OfcourseIhadbeenhomesickatfirst，whilewewereprisoners，beforeIhadEllador。AndofcourseIhad，atfirst，ratheridealizedmycountryanditsways，indescribingit。Also，Ihadalwaysacceptedcertainevilsasintegralpartsofourcivilizationandneverdweltonthematall。EvenwhenItriedtotellhertheworst，Ineverrememberedsomethings——which，whenshecametoseethem，impressedheratonce，astheyhadneverimpressedme。

Now，inmyeffortsatexplanation，IbegantoseebothwaysmorekeenlythanIhadbefore;toseethepainfuldefectsofmyownland，themarvelousgainsofthis。

Inmissingmenwethreevisitorshadnaturallymissedthelargerpartoflife，andhadunconsciouslyassumedthattheymustmissittoo。Ittookmealongtimetorealize——Terryneverdidrealize——howlittleitmeanttothem。WhenwesayMEN，MAN，MANLY，MANHOOD，andalltheothermasculinederivatives，wehaveinthebackgroundofourmindsahugevaguecrowdedpictureoftheworldandallitsactivities。Togrowupand"beaman，"

to"actlikeaman"——themeaningandconnotationiswideindeed。

Thatvastbackgroundisfullofmarchingcolumnsofmen，ofchanginglinesofmen，oflongprocessionsofmen;ofmensteeringtheirshipsintonewseas，exploringunknownmountains，breakinghorses，herdingcattle，ploughingandsowingandreaping，toilingattheforgeandfurnace，digginginthemine，buildingroadsandbridgesandhighcathedrals，managinggreatbusinesses，teachinginallthecolleges，preachinginallthechurches;

ofmeneverywhere，doingeverything——"theworld。"

AndwhenwesayWOMEN，wethinkFEMALE——thesex。

Buttothesewomen，intheunbrokensweepofthistwo—

thousand—year—oldfemininecivilization，thewordWOMANcalledupallthatbigbackground，sofarastheyhadgoneinsocialdevelopment;andthewordMANmeanttothemonlyMALE——thesex。

OfcoursewecouldTELLthemthatinourworldmendideverything;butthatdidnotalterthebackgroundoftheirminds。

Thatman，"themale，"didallthesethingswastothemastatement，makingnomorechangeinthepointofviewthanwasmadeinourswhenwefirstfacedtheastoundingfact——tous——thatinHerlandwomenwere"theworld。"

Wehadbeenlivingtheremorethanayear。Wehadlearnedtheirlimitedhistory，withitsstraight，smooth，upreachinglines，reachinghigherandgoingfasteruptothesmoothcomfortoftheirpresentlife。Wehadlearnedalittleoftheirpsychology，amuchwiderfieldthanthehistory，butherewecouldnotfollowsoreadily。Wewerenowwellusedtoseeingwomennotasfemalesbutaspeople;peopleofallsorts，doingeverykindofwork。

ThisoutbreakofTerry’s，andthestrongreactionagainstit，gaveusanewlightontheirgenuinefemininity。ThiswasgivenmewithgreatclearnessbybothElladorandSomel。Thefeelingwasthesame——sickrevulsionandhorror，suchaswouldbefeltatsomeclimacticblasphemy。

Theyhadnofaintestapproachtosuchathingintheirminds，knowingnothingofthecustomofmaritalindulgenceamongus。

Tothemtheonehighpurposeofmotherhoodhadbeenforsolongthegoverninglawoflife，andthecontributionofthefather，thoughknowntothem，sodistinctlyanothermethodtothesameend，thattheycouldnot，withalltheireffort，getthepointofviewofthemalecreaturewhosedesiresquiteignoreparentageandseekonlyforwhatweeuphoniouslyterm"thejoysoflove。"

WhenItriedtotellElladorthatwomentoofeltso，withus，shedrewawayfromme，andtriedhardtograspintellectuallywhatshecouldinnowaysympathizewith。

"Youmean——thatwithyou——lovebetweenmanandwomanexpressesitselfinthatway——withoutregardtomotherhood？

Toparentage，Imean，"sheaddedcarefully。

"Yes，surely。Itislovewethinkof——thedeepsweetlovebetweentwo。Ofcoursewewantchildren，andchildrencome——

butthatisnotwhatwethinkabout。"

"But——but——itseemssoagainstnature！"shesaid。"Noneofthecreaturesweknowdothat。Dootheranimals——inyourcountry？"

"Wearenotanimals！"Irepliedwithsomesharpness。

"Atleastwearesomethingmore——somethinghigher。Thisisafarnoblerandmorebeautifulrelation，asIhaveexplainedbefore。

Yourviewseemstousrather——shallIsay，practical？Prosaic？

Merelyameanstoanend！Withus——oh，mydeargirl——cannotyousee？Cannotyoufeel？Itisthelast，sweetest，highestconsummationofmutuallove。"

Shewasimpressedvisibly。Shetrembledinmyarms，asIheldherclose，kissingherhungrily。ButthereroseinhereyesthatlookIknewsowell，thatremoteclearlookasifshehadgonefarawayeventhoughIheldherbeautifulbodysoclose，andwasnowonsomesnowymountainregardingmefromadistance。

"Ifeelitquiteclearly，"shesaidtome。"Itgivesmeadeepsympathywithwhatyoufeel，nodoubtmorestronglystill。ButwhatIfeel，evenwhatyoufeel，dearest，doesnotconvincemethatitisright。UntilIamsureofthat，ofcourseIcannotdoasyouwish。"

Ellador，attimeslikethis，alwaysremindedmeofEpictetus。

"Iwillputyouinprison！"saidhismaster。"Mybody，youmean，"

repliedEpictetuscalmly。"Iwillcutyourheadoff，"saidhismaster。"HaveIsaidthatmyheadcouldnotbecutoff？"A

difficultperson，Epictetus。

Whatisthismiraclebywhichawoman，eveninyourarms，maywithdrawherself，utterlydisappeartillwhatyouholdisasinaccessibleasthefaceofacliff？

"Bepatientwithme，dear，"sheurgedsweetly。"Iknowitishardforyou。AndIbegintosee——alittle——howTerrywassodriventocrime。"

"Oh，come，that’saprettyhardwordforit。Afterall，Alimawashiswife，youknow，"Iurged，feelingatthemomentasuddenburstofsympathyforpoorTerry。Foramanofhistemperament——andhabits——itmusthavebeenanunbearablesituation。

ButEllador，forallherwideintellectualgrasp，andthebroadsympathyinwhichtheirreligiontrainedthem，couldnotmakeallowanceforsuch——toher——sacrilegiousbrutality。

Itwasthemoredifficulttoexplaintoher，becausewethree，inourconstanttalksandlecturesabouttherestoftheworld，hadnaturallyavoidedtheseamyside;notsomuchfromadesiretodeceive，butfromwishingtoputthebestfootforemostforourcivilization，inthefaceofthebeautyandcomfortoftheirs。Also，wereallythoughtsomethingswereright，oratleastunavoidable，whichwecouldreadilyseewouldberepugnanttothem，andthereforedidnotdiscuss。Againtherewasmuchofourworld’slifewhichwe，beingusedtoit，hadnotnoticedasanythingworthdescribing。Andstillfurther，therewasaboutthesewomenacolossalinnocenceuponwhichmanyofthethingswedidsayhadmadenoimpressionwhatever。

IamthusexplicitaboutitbecauseitshowshowunexpectedlystrongwastheimpressionmadeuponElladorwhensheatlastenteredourcivilization。

Sheurgedmetobepatient，andIwaspatient。Yousee，Ilovedhersomuchthateventherestrictionsshesofirmlyestablishedleftmemuchhappiness。Wewerelovers，andthereissurelydelightenoughinthat。

Donotimaginethattheseyoungwomenutterlyrefused"theGreatNewHope，"astheycalledit，thatofdualparentage。Forthattheyhadagreedtomarryus，thoughthemarryingpartofitwasaconcessiontoourprejudicesratherthantheirs。Tothemtheprocesswastheholything——andtheymeanttokeepitholy。

ButsofaronlyCelis，herblueeyesswimminginhappytears，herheartliftedwiththattideofrace—motherhoodwhichwastheirsupremepassion，couldwithineffablejoyandprideannouncethatshewastobeamother。"TheNewMotherhood"theycalledit，andthewholecountryknew。Therewasnopleasure，noservice，nohonorinallthelandthatCelismightnothavehad。Almostlikethebreathlessreverencewithwhich，twothousandyearsago，thatdwindlingbandofwomenhadwatchedthemiracleofvirginbirth，wasthedeepaweandwarmexpectancywithwhichtheygreetedthisnewmiracleofunion。

Allmothersinthatlandwereholy。Tothem，forlongages，theapproachtomotherhoodhasbeenbythemostintenseandexquisiteloveandlonging，bytheSupremeDesire，theovermasteringdemandforachild。Everythoughttheyheldinconnectionwiththeprocessesofmaternitywasopentotheday，simpleyetsacred。Everywomanofthemplacedmotherhoodnotonlyhigherthanotherduties，butsofarhigherthattherewerenootherduties，onemightalmostsay。

Alltheirwidemutuallove，allthesubtleinterplayofmutualfriendshipandservice，theurgeofprogressivethoughtandinvention，thedeepestreligiousemotion，everyfeelingandeveryactwasrelatedtothisgreatcentralPower，totheRiverofLifepouringthroughthem，whichmadethemthebearersoftheverySpiritofGod。

OfallthisIlearnedmoreandmore——fromtheirbooks，fromtalk，especiallyfromEllador。Shewasatfirst，forabriefmoment，enviousofherfriend——athoughtsheputawayfromheratonceandforever。

"Itisbetter，"shesaidtome。"Itismuchbetterthatithasnotcometomeyet——tous，thatis。ForifIamtogowithyoutoyourcountry，wemayhave`adventuresbyseaandland，’asyousay[andasintruthwedid]，anditmightnotbeatallsafeforababy。

Sowewon’ttryagain，dear，tillitissafe——willwe？"

Thiswasahardsayingforaverylovinghusband。

"Unless，"shewenton，"ifoneiscoming，youwillleavemebehind。

Youcancomeback，youknow——andIshallhavethechild。"

Thenthatdeepancientchillofmalejealousyofevenhisownprogenytouchedmyheart。

"I’dratherhaveyou，Ellador，thanallthechildrenintheworld。

I’dratherhaveyouwithme——onyourownterms——thannottohaveyou。"

Thiswasaverystupidsaying。OfcourseIwould！Forifshewasn’tthereIshouldwantallofherandhavenoneofher。Butifshewentalongasasortofsublimatedsister——onlymuchcloserandwarmerthanthat，really——whyIshouldhaveallofherbutthatonething。AndIwasbeginningtofindthatEllador’sfriendship，Ellador’scomradeship，Ellador’ssisterlyaffection，Ellador’sperfectlysincerelove——nonethelessdeepthatshehelditbackonadefinitelineofreserve——wereenoughtoliveonveryhappily。

Ifinditquitebeyondmetodescribewhatthiswomanwastome。Wetalkfinethingsaboutwomen，butinourheartsweknowthattheyareverylimitedbeings——mostofthem。

Wehonorthemfortheirfunctionalpowers，evenwhilewedishonorthembyouruseofit;wehonorthemfortheircarefullyenforcedvirtue，evenwhileweshowbyourownconducthowlittlewethinkofthatvirtue;wevaluethem，sincerely，forthepervertedmaternalactivitieswhichmakeourwivesthemostcomfortableofservants，boundtousforlifewiththewageswhollyatourowndecision，theirwholebusiness，outsideofthetemporarydutiesofsuchmotherhoodastheymayachieve，tomeetourneedsineveryway。Oh，wevaluethem，allright，"intheirplace，"

whichplaceisthehome，wheretheyperformthatmixtureofdutiessoablydescribedbyMrs。JosephineDodgeDaskamBacon，inwhichtheservicesof"amistress"arecarefullyspecified。

Sheisaveryclearwriter，Mrs。J。D。D。Bacon，andunderstandshersubject——fromherownpointofview。But——thatcombinationofindustries，whileconvenient，andinawayeconomical，doesnotarousethekindofemotioncommandedbythewomenofHerland。

Thesewerewomenonehadtolove"up，"veryhighup，insteadofdown。

Theywerenotpets。Theywerenotservants。Theywerenottimid，inexperienced，weak。

AfterIgotoverthejartomypride（whichJeff，Itrulythink，neverfelt——hewasabornworshipper，andwhichTerrynevergotover——hewasquiteclearinhisideasof"thepositionofwomen"），Ifoundthatloving"up"wasaverygoodsensationafterall。

Itgavemeaqueerfeeling，waydowndeep，asofthestirringofsomeancientdimprehistoricconsciousness，afeelingthattheywererightsomehow——thatthiswasthewaytofeel。Itwaslike——cominghometomother。Idon’tmeantheunderflannels—

and—doughnutsmother，thefussypersonthatwaitsonyouandspoilsyouanddoesn’treallyknowyou。Imeanthefeelingthataverylittlechildwouldhave，whohadbeenlost——foreversolong。Itwasasenseofgettinghome;ofbeingcleanandrested;

ofsafetyandyetfreedom;oflovethatwasalwaysthere，warmlikesunshineinMay，nothotlikeastoveorafeatherbed——alovethatdidn’tirritateanddidn’tsmother。

IlookedatElladorasifIhadn’tseenherbefore。"Ifyouwon’tgo，"Isaid，"I’llgetTerrytothecoastandcomebackalone。

Youcanletmedownarope。Andifyouwillgo——whyyoublessedwonder—woman——Iwouldratherlivewithyouallmylife——likethis——thantohaveanyotherwomanIeversaw，oranynumberofthem，todoasIlikewith。Willyoucome？"

Shewaskeenforcoming。Sotheplanswenton。She’dhavelikedtowaitforthatMarvelofCelis’s，butTerryhadnosuchdesire。

Hewascrazytobeoutofitall。Itmadehimsick，hesaid，SICK;

thiseverlastingmother—mother—mothering。Idon’tthinkTerryhadwhatthephrenologistscall"thelumpofphiloprogenitiveness"

atallwelldeveloped。

"Morbidone—sidedcripples，"hecalledthem，evenwhenfromhiswindowhecouldseetheirsplendidvigorandbeauty;

evenwhileMoadine，aspatientandfriendlyasifshehadneverhelpedAlimatoholdandbindhim，satthereintheroom，thepictureofwisdomandserenestrength。"Sexless，epicene，undevelopedneuters！"hewentonbitterly。HesoundedlikeSirAlmwrothWright。

Well——itwashard。HewasmadlyinlovewithAlima，really;

moresothanhehadeverbeenbefore，andtheirtempestuouscourtship，quarrels，andreconciliationshadfannedtheflame。

Andthenwhenhesoughtbythatsupremeconquestwhichseemssonaturalathingtothattypeofman，toforcehertolovehimashermaster——tohavethesturdyathleticfuriouswomanriseupandmasterhim——sheandherfriends——itwasnowonderheraged。

Cometothinkofit，Idonotrecallasimilarcaseinallhistoryorfiction。Womenhavekilledthemselvesratherthansubmittooutrage;theyhavekilledtheoutrager;theyhaveescaped;ortheyhavesubmitted——sometimesseemingtogetonverywellwiththevictorafterward。Therewasthatadventureof"falseSextus，"forinstance，who"foundLucresecombingthefleece，underthemidnightlamp。"Hethreatened，asIremember，thatifshedidnotsubmithewouldslayher，slayaslaveandplacehimbesideherandsayhefoundhimthere。Apoordevice，italwaysseemedtome。

IfMr。Lucretiushadaskedhimhowhecametobeinhiswife’sbedroomoverlookinghermorals，whatcouldhehavesaid？

ButthepointisLucresesubmitted，andAlimadidn’t。

"Shekickedme，"confidedtheembitteredprisoner——hehadtotalktosomeone。"Iwasdoubledupwiththepain，ofcourse，andshejumpedonmeandyelledforthisoldharpy[Moadinecouldn’thearhim]andtheyhadmetrussedupinnotime。

IbelieveAlimacouldhavedoneitalone，"headdedwithreluctantadmiration。"She’sasstrongasahorse。Andofcourseaman’shelplesswhenyouhithimlikethat。Nowomanwithashadeofdecency——"

Ihadtogrinatthat，andevenTerrydid，sourly。Hewasn’tgiventoreasoning，butitdidstrikehimthatanassaultlikehisratherwaivedconsiderationsofdecency。

"I’dgiveayearofmylifetohaveheraloneagain，"hesaidslowly，hishandsclenchedtilltheknuckleswerewhite。

Butheneverdid。Sheleftourendofthecountryentirely，wentupintothefir—forestonthehighestslopes，andstayedthere。

Beforewelefthequitedesperatelylongedtoseeher，butshewouldnotcomeandhecouldnotgo。Theywatchedhimlikelynxes。

（Dolynxeswatchanybetterthanmousingcats，Iwonder！）

Well——wehadtogettheflyerinorder，andbesuretherewasenoughfuelleft，thoughTerrysaidwecouldglideallright，downtothatlake，oncewegotstarted。We’dhavegonegladlyinaweek’stime，ofcourse，buttherewasagreatto—doalloverthecountryaboutEllador’sleavingthem。Shehadinterviewswithsomeoftheleadingethicists——wisewomenwithstilleyes，andwiththebestoftheteachers。Therewasastir，athrill，adeepexcitementeverywhere。

Ourteachingabouttherestoftheworldhasgiventhemallasenseofisolation，ofremoteness，ofbeingalittleoutlyingsampleofacountry，overlookedandforgottenamongthefamilyofnations。Wehadcalledit"thefamilyofnations，"andtheylikedthephraseimmensely。

Theyweredeeplyarousedonthesubjectofevolution;indeed，thewholefieldofnaturalsciencedrewthemirresistibly。

Anynumberofthemwouldhaveriskedeverythingtogotothestrangeunknownlandsandstudy;butwecouldtakeonlyone，andithadtobeEllador，naturally。

Weplannedgreatlyaboutcomingback，aboutestablishingaconnectingroutebywater;aboutpenetratingthosevastforestsandcivilizing——orexterminating——thedangeroussavages。

Thatis，wementalkedofthatlast——notwiththewomen。

Theyhadadefiniteaversiontokillingthings。

Butmeanwhiletherewashighcouncilbeingheldamongthewisestofthemall。Thestudentsandthinkerswhohadbeengatheringfactsfromusallthistime，collatingandrelatingthem，andmakinginferences，laidtheresultoftheirlaborsbeforethecouncil。

Littlehadwethoughtthatourcarefuleffortsatconcealmenthadbeensoeasilyseenthrough，withneverawordtoshowusthattheysaw。Theyhadfollowedupwordsofoursonthescienceofoptics，askedinnocentquestionsaboutglassesandthelike，andwereawareofthedefectiveeyesightsocommonamongus。

Withthelightesttouch，differentwomenaskingdifferentquestionsatdifferenttimes，andputtingallouranswerstogetherlikeapicturepuzzle，theyhadfiguredoutasortofskeletonchartastotheprevalenceofdiseaseamongus。Evenmoresubtlywithnoshowofhorrororcondemnation，theyhadgatheredsomething——farfromthetruth，butsomethingprettyclear——aboutpoverty，vice，andcrime。Theyevenhadagoodlynumberofourdangersallitemized，fromaskingusaboutinsuranceandinnocentthingslikethat。

Theywerewellpostedastothedifferentraces，beginningwiththeirpoison—arrownativesdownbelowandwideningouttothebroadracialdivisionswehadtoldthemabout。Neverashockedexpressionofthefaceorexclamationofrevolthadwarnedus;theyhadbeenextractingtheevidencewithoutourknowingitallthistime，andnowwerestudyingwiththemostdevoutearnestnessthemattertheyhadprepared。

Theresultwasratherdistressingtous。TheyfirstexplainedthematterfullytoEllador，asshewastheonewhopurposedvisitingtheRestoftheWorld。ToCelistheysaidnothing。Shemustnotbeinanywaydistressed，whilethewholenationwaitedonherGreatWork。

FinallyJeffandIwerecalledin。SomelandZavawerethere，andEllador，withmanyothersthatweknew。

Theyhadagreatglobe，quitefairlymappedoutfromthesmallsectionmapsinthatcompendiumofours。Theyhadthedifferentpeoplesoftheearthroughlyoutlined，andtheirstatusincivilizationindicated。Theyhadchartsandfiguresandestimates，basedonthefactsinthattraitorouslittlebookandwhattheyhadlearnedfromus。

Somelexplained："Wefindthatinallyourhistoricperiod，somuchlongerthanours，thatwithalltheinterplayofservices，theexchangeofinventionsanddiscoveries，andthewonderfulprogresswesoadmire，thatinthiswidespreadOtherWorldofyours，thereisstillmuchdisease，oftencontagious。"

Weadmittedthisatonce。

"Alsothereisstill，invaryingdegree，ignorance，withprejudiceandunbridledemotion。"

Thistoowasadmitted。

"Wefindalsothatinspiteoftheadvanceofdemocracyandtheincreaseofwealth，thatthereisstillunrestandsometimescombat。"

Yes，yes，weadmitteditall。Wewereusedtothesethingsandsawnoreasonforsomuchseriousness。

"Allthingsconsidered，"theysaid，andtheydidnotsayahundredthpartofthethingstheywereconsidering，"weareunwillingtoexposeourcountrytofreecommunicationwiththerestoftheworld——asyet。IfElladorcomesback，andweapproveherreport，itmaybedonelater——butnotyet。

"Sowehavethistoaskofyougentlemen[theyknewthatwordwasheldatitleofhonorwithus]，thatyoupromisenotinanywaytobetraythelocationofthiscountryuntilpermission——afterEllador’sreturn。"

Jeffwasperfectlysatisfied。Hethoughttheywerequiteright。

Healwaysdid。IneversawanalienbecomenaturalizedmorequicklythanthatmaninHerland。

Istudieditawhile，thinkingofthetimethey’dhaveifsomeofourcontagionsgotloosethere，andconcludedtheywereright。

SoIagreed。

Terrywastheobstacle。"IndeedIwon’t！"heprotested。"ThefirstthingI’lldoistogetanexpeditionfixeduptoforceanentranceintoMa—land。"

"Then，"theysaidquitecalmly，"hemustremainanabsoluteprisoner，always。"

"Anesthesiawouldbekinder，"urgedMoadine。

"Andsafer，"addedZava。

"Hewillpromise，Ithink，"saidEllador。

Andhedid。WithwhichagreementweatlastleftHerland。