下载辰思小说免费APP
FRIVOLOUSCUPID
BY
SIRANTHONYHOPEHAWKINS
（ANTHONYHOPE，PSEUD。）
CONTENTS
I。RELUCTANCE
II。WHYMENDON’TMARRY
III。ACHANGEOFHEART
IV。AREPENTANTSINNER
V。’TWIXTWILLANDWILLNOT
VI。WHICHSHALLITBE？
VII。MARRIAGEBYCOMPULSION
VIII。ALL’SWELLTHATENDSWELL
Cupid，ImettheeyesterdayWithanemptyquiver，ComingfromClarinda’shouseBythereedyriver。
AndIsawClarindastandNearthepansies，weeping，WithherhandsuponherbreastAllthinearrowskeeping。
FRIVOLOUSCUPID。
————
I。
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RELUCTANCE。
I。
Neitherlifenorthelawn—tennisclubwassofullatNatterleythatthenewsofHarrySterling’sreturnhadnotsomeimportance。
Hecameback，moreover，toassumeapositionverydifferentfromhisoldone。HehadleftHarrownow，departinginthesweetaromaofalongscoreagainstEtonatLord’s，andwastogouptoOxfordinOctober。NowbetweenaschoolboyandaUniversitymanthereisagulf，indicatedunmistakablybythecigarettewhichadornedHarry’smouthashewalkeddownthestreetwithanewlyacquiescentfather，andthoroughlyrealizedbyhisoldplaymates。Theyoungmengreetedhimasanequal，theboysgrudginglyacceptedhissuperiority，andthegirlsreceivedhimmuchasthoughtheyhadnevermethimbeforeintheirlivesandwerepressinglyinneedofanintroduction。ThesefeaturesofhisreappearanceamusedMrs。Mortimer；sherecollectedhimasanuntidy，shy，prettyboy；butmind，workingonmatter，hadsotransformedhimthatshewasdoubtfulenoughabouthimtoaskherhusbandifthatwerereallyHarrySterling。
Mr。Mortimer，moppinghisbaldheadafteroneofhisenergeticfailuresatlawntennis，gruntedassent，andremarkedthatafewyearsmorewouldseealikedevelopmentintheirelderson，aremarkwhichborderedonabsurdity；forJohnnywasbuteight，andtenyearsarenotafewyearstoaladyoftwenty—eight，whatevertheymayseemtoamanofforty—four。
PresentlyHarry，shakinghimselffreefromanentanglinggroupoftheVicaragegirls，joinedhisfather，andthetwocameacrosstoMrs。Mortimer。
ShewasafavoriteofoldSterling’s，andhewasproudtopresenthishandsomesontoher。Shelistenedgraciouslytohisjocosities，stealingaglanceatHarrywhenhisfathercalledhim"agoodboy。"Harryblushedandassumedanairofindifference，tossinghishairbackfromhissmoothforehead，andswinginghisracketcarelesslyinhishand。Theladyaddressedsomewordsofpatronizingkindnesstohim，seekingtoputhimathisease。Sheseemedtosucceedtosomeextent，forhelethisfatherandherhusbandgoofftogether，andsatdownbyheronthebench，regardlessofthefactthattheVicaragegirlswerewaitingforhimtomakeafourth。
Hesaidnothing，andMrs。Mortimerlookedathimfromunderherlonglashes；insodoingshediscoveredthathewaslookingather。
"Aren’tyougoingtoplayanymore，Mr。Sterling？"sheasked。
"Whyaren’tyouplaying？"herejoined。
"MyhusbandsaysIplaytoobadly。"
"Oh，playwithme!Weshallmakeagoodpair。"
"Thenyoumustbeverygood。"
"Well，noonecanplayahanghere，youknow。BesidesI’msureyou’reallright，really。"
"Youforgetmyweightofyears。"
Heopenedhisblueeyesalittle，andlaughed。Hewas，infact，astonishedtofindthatshewasquiteayoungwoman。RememberingoldMortimerandthebabies，hehadthoughtofherasfullmiddle—aged。Butshewasnot；norhadshethatlikenesstoasuetpudding，whichhisnewborncriticalfacultycruellydetectedinhisoldfriends，theVicaragegirls。
Therewasoneofthem——Maudie——withwhomhehadflirtedinhisholidays；hewonderedatthat，especiallywhenarelentlessmemorytoldhimthatMrs。Mortimermusthavebeenatthepartieswherethethingwenton。Hefeltverymucholder，somucholderthatMrs。Mortimerbecameatonceacontemporary。
Why，then，shouldshebegin，asshenowdid，totalktohim，inquasimaternalfashion，abouthisprospects？Mendon’thaveprospects，or，anyhow，aresparedquestioningsthereon。
Eitherfromimpatienceofthistopic，orbecause，afterall，tenniswasnottobeneglected，helefther，andshesataloneforalittlewhile，watchinghimplay。Shewasgladthatshehadnotplayed；shecouldnothaverivaledtheactivityoftheVicaragegirls。ShegotupandjoinedMrs。Sterling，whowaspresidingovertheclubteapot。Thegoodladyexpectedcomplimentsonherson，butforsomereasonMrs。Mortimergavehernone。Verysoon，indeed，shetookJohnnieawaywithher，leavingherhusbandtofollowathisleisure。
IncomparingMaudieSinclairtoasuetpudding，Harryhadlookedatthedarksideofthematter。
Thesuggestion，thoughindisputable，wasonlyoccasionallyobtrusive，andasarulehushedalmosttosilencebythepleasantgoodnaturewhichredeemedshapelessfeatures。Mrs。MortimerhadalwayslikedMaudie，whoraninandoutofherhousecontinually，andhadmadeofherselfavice—mothertothelittlechildren。
Theverynextdayshecame，and，intheintervalsofplayingcricketwithJohnnie，tookoccasiontoinformMrs。MortimerthatinheropinionHarrySterlingwasbynomeansimprovedbyhisnewstatusanddignity。Shewentsofarastousetheterm"stuck—
up。""Hedidn’tusetobelikethat，"shesaid，shakingherhead；"heusedtobeveryjolly。"Mrs。Mortimerwasrelievedtonoteanentireabsenceofromanceeitherintheregrettedpastorthecondemnedpresent。Maudiemournedafriendspoiled，notanadmirerlost；thetoneofhercriticismsleftnodoubtofit，andMrs。Mortimer，withalaugh，announcedherintentionofaskingtheSterlingstodinnerandhavingMaudietomeetthem。"Youwillbeabletomakeitupthen，"saidshe。
"Why，Iseehimeverydayatthetennisclub，"criedMaudieinsurprise。
ThefaintestofblushestingedMrs。Mortimer’scheekasshechidherselfforforgettingthisobviousfact。
Thesituationnowdevelopedrapidly。Theabsurdthinghappened：
HarrySterlingbegantotakeaseriousviewofhisattachmenttoMrs。Mortimer。Theonethingmoreabsurd，thatsheshouldtakeaseriousviewofit，hadnothappenedyet，and，indeed，wouldneverhappen；soshetoldherselfwithanervouslittlelaugh。
Harrygavehernoopportunityofsayingsotohim，foryoucannotreproveglancesordiscouragepressingsofyourhandinfashionsoblunt。
Andhewasverydiscreet：henevermadeherlookfoolish。Inpublichetreatedherwithjustthedegreeofattentionthatgainedhismother’sfondeulogium，andhisfather’sapprovingsmile；whileMr。Mortimer，whowenttoLondonatnineo’clockeverymorninganddidnotreturntillseven，wasveryseldombotheredbyfindingtheyoungfellowhangingaboutthehouse。
Certainlyhecameprettyfrequentlybetweenthehoursnamed，butitwas，asthechildrencouldhavewitnessed，toplaywiththem。
And，throughhiscomingsandgoings，Mrs。Mortimermovedwithpleasure，vexation，self—contempt，andeagerness。
OnenightsheandherhusbandwenttodinewiththeSterlings。
AfterdinnerMr。Mortimeracceptedhishost’sinvitationtostayforasmoke。Hesawnodifficultyinhiswifewalkinghomealone；itwasbuthalfamile，andthenightwasfineandmoonlit。Mrs。Mortimermadenodifficultyeither，butMrs。
SterlingwassurethatHarrywouldbedelightedtoseeMrs。
Mortimertoherhouse。
Shelikedtheboytolearnhabitsofpoliteness，shesaid，andhisfathereagerlyprofferedhisescort，wavingasideMrs。
Mortimer’sprotestthatshewouldnotthinkoftroublingMr。
Harry；throughoutwhichconversationHarrysaidnothingatall，butstoodsmiling，withhishatinhishand，thepictureofanobedient，well—manneredyouth。Therearegenerallytwowaysanywhere，andthereweretwofromtheSterlings’totheMortimers’：theshortonethroughthevillage，andthelongoneroundbythelaneandacrosstheChurchmeadow。ThepathdivergingtothelatterroutecomesverysoonafteryouleavetheSterlings’，andnotawordhadpassedwhenMrs。MortimerandHarryreachedit。Stillwithoutaword，Harryturnedofftofollowthepath。Mrs。Mortimerglancedathim；Harrysmiled。
"It’smuchlonger，"shesaid。
"There’slotsoftime，"rejoinedHarry，"andit’ssuchajollynight。"Thebettertoenjoythenight’sbeauty，heslackenedhispacetoaverycrawl。
"It’sratherdark；won’tyoutakemyarm？"hesaid。
"Whatnonsense!Why，Icouldseetoread!"
"ButI’msureyou’retired。"
"Howabsurdyouare!Wasitagreatbore？"
"What？"
"Why，coming。"
"No，"saidHarry。
Insuchaffairsmonosyllablesaredangersignals。Alongprotestationmighthavemeantnothing：inthisshort，sufficientnegativeMrs。Mortimerrecognizedtheboy’ssincerity。Alittlethrillofprideandshame，andperhapssomethingelse，ranthroughher。Thenightwashotandsheunfastenedtheclaspofhercloak，breathingatriflequickly。Torelievethesilence，shesaid，withalaugh：
"Youseewepoormarriedwomenhavetodependoncharity。Ourhusbandsdon’tcaretowalkhomewithus。Yourfatherwasbentonyourcoming。"
Harrylaughedashortlaugh；theutterdarknessofMr。Sterling’sconditionstruckthroughhisagitationdowntohissenseofhumor。Mrs。Mortimersmiledathim；shecouldnothelpit：thesecretbetweenthemwassopleasanttoher，evenwhileshehatedherselfforitsexistence。
Theyhadreachedthemeadownow，halfwaythroughtheirjourney。
AlittlegateledintoitandHarrystopped，leaninghisarmonthetoprail。
"Oh，no!wemustgoon，"shemurmured。
"Theywon’tmoveforanhouryet，"heanswered，andthenhesuddenlybrokeout：
"How——howfunnyitis!Ihardlyrememberedyou，youknow。"
"Oh，butIrememberedyou，aprettylittleboy；"andshelookedupathisface，halfafootaboveher。Merestaturehasmucheffectandthelittleboystageseemedveryfaraway。Andheknewthatitdid，forheputouthishandtotakehers。Shedrewback。
"No，"shesaid。
Harryblushed。Shetookholdofthegateandhe，yieldinghisplace，letherpassthrough。Foraminuteortwotheywalkedoninsilence。
"Oh，howsillyyouare!"shecriedthen，beginningwithalaughandendingwithastrangecatchinherthroat。"Why，you’reonlyjustoutofknickerbockers!"
"Idon’tcare，Idon’tcare，Hilda————"
"Hush，hush!Oh，indeed，youmustbequiet!See，wearenearlyhome。"
Heseizedherhand，nottobequelledthistime，and，bendinglowoverit，kissedit。Shedidnotdrawitaway，butwatchedhimwithacurious，painedsmile。Helookedupinherface，hisownglowingwithexcitement。Herightedhimselftohisfullstatureand，fromthatstooping，kissedheronthelips。
"Oh，yousillyboy!"shemoaned，andfoundherselfaloneinthemeadow。Hehadgoneswiftlybackbythewaytheyhadcome，andshewentontoherhome。
"Well，theboysawyouhome？"askedMr。Mortimerwhenhearrivedhalfanhourlater。
"Yes，"shesaid，raisingherheadfromthecushionsofthesofaonwhichhefoundherlying。
"Isupposedso，buthedidn’tcomeintothesmoking—roomwhenhegotback。Wentstraighttobed，Iexpect。He’sanice—manneredyoungfellow，isn’the？"
"Oh，very!"saidMrs。Mortimer。
II。
Mr。Mortimerhadneverbeensolookedafter，cosseted，andcomfortedforhisearlystartasthenextmorning，northechildrenfoundtheirmothersopatientandaffectionate。Shewasinanabasementofshameanddisgustatherself，andquiteunabletotreathertransgressionlightly。Thathewasaboyandshe——
notagirl——seemedtochargeherwithhisaswellasherownsins，and，besidesthismoralaggravation，entailedaloweranxietyastohisdiscretionandsecrecythatdroveherhalfmadwithworry。Supposeheshouldboastofit!Or，ifhewerenotbadenoughforthat，onlysupposeheshouldbecarriedawayintocarelessnessaboutit!Hehadnothingtofearworsethanwhathewouldcall"awigging"andperhapssummarydismissaltoatutor’s：shehadmoreatriskthanshecouldbeartothinkof。
Probably，bynow，herecognizedhisfoolishness，andlaughedathimselfandher。Thisthoughtmadehernohappier，formenmaydoallthat——andyet，veryoften，theydonotstop。
ShehadtogotoapartyattheVicarageintheafternoon。Harrywouldbesuretobethere，and，withaconflictoffeelingfindingexpressioninheracts，sheprotectedherselfbytakingallthechildren，whilesheinconsistentlydressedherselfinhermostyouthfulandcoquettishcostume。ShefoundherselfalmostgrudgingJohnniehisrapidlyincreasinginches，evenwhileshereliedonhimforanassertionofherpositionasamatron。Forthefollyoflastnightwastobeoveranddonewith，andheracquaintancewithHarrySterlingtoreturntoitsonlypossiblesanebasis；thatshewasresolvedon，butshewantedHarryhonestly——evenkeenly——toregretherdetermination。
HewastalkingtoMaudieSinclairwhenshearrived；hetookoffhishat，butdidnotallowhiseyestomeethers。Shegatheredherchildrenroundher，andsatdownamongthechaperons。Mrs。
Sterlingcameandtalkedtoher；diviningasympathy，thegoodmotherhadmuchtosayofherson，ofherhopesandherfearsforhim；somanydangersbesetyoungmen，especiallyiftheywereattractive，likeHarry；thereweredebts，idleness，fastmen，and——worstofall——thereweredesigningwomen，readytoimposeonandruintheinnocenceofyouth。
"He’sbeensuchagoodboytillnow，"saidMrs。Sterling，"but，ofcourse，hisfatherandIfeelanxious。Ifwecouldonlykeephimhere，outofharm’sway，underourowneyes!"
Mrs。Mortimermurmuredconsolation。
"Howkindofyou!Andyourinfluenceissogoodforhim。Hethinkssuchalotofyou，Hilda。"
Mrs。Mortimer，triedtoohard，roseandstrolledaway。Harry’ssetseemedtoendalmostdirectly，andamomentlaterhewasshakinghandswithher，stillkeepinghiseyesawayfromhers。
Shemadehergraspcoldandinanimate，andhedivinedthedispleasureshemeanttoindicate。
"Youmustgoandplayagain，"shesaid，"ortalktothegirls。
Youmustn’tcomeandtalktome。"
"Whynot!HowcanIhelpit——now？"
Thelaughingatherandhimselfhadevidentlynotcome，but，badasthatwouldhavebeentobear，histonethreatenedsomethingworse。
"Don’t，"sheansweredsharply。"I’mveryangry。Youwereveryunkindand——andungentlemanlylastnight。"
Heflushedcrimson。
"Didn’tyoulikeit？"heasked，withtheterriblesimplicityofhisyouth。
Forallhertrouble，shehadtobiteherliptohideasmile。
Whataquestiontoask——justinsomanywords!
"Itwasvery，verywicked，and，ofcourse，Ididn’tlikeit，"
sheanswered。"Oh，Harry!don’tyouknowhowwickeditwas？"
"Oh，yes!Iknowthat，ofcourse，"saidhe，pickingatthestrawofhishat，whichhewascarryinginhishand。
"Well，then!"shesaid。
"Icouldn’thelpit。"
"Youmusthelpit。Oh，don’tyouknow——oh，it’sabsurd!I’myearsolderthanyou。"
"Youlookedso——soawfullypretty。"
"Ican’tstandtalkingtoyou。They’llallsee。"
"Oh，it’sallright。You’reafriendofmother’s，youknow。I
say，whenshallIbeabletoseeyouagain——alone，youknow？"
Mrs。Mortimerwaswithinanaceofaburstoftears。Heseemednottoknowthathemadeherfaintwithshame，andmadwithexultation，andbewilderedwithterrorallinamoment。Hisnewmanhoodtooknoheed，saveofitself。Wasthisbeingoutofharm’sway，undertheeyesofthosepoorblindparents？
"If——ifyoucaretheleastforme——forwhatIwish，goaway，Harry，"shewhispered。
Helookedatherinwonder，but，withafrownonhisface，didashewastold。Fiveminuteslaterhewasplayingagain；sheheardhimshout"Thirty——love，"asheserved，anoteoftriumphantbattleinhisvoice。Shebelievedthatshewasaltogetheroutofhisthoughts。
Herhusbandwastodineintownthatnight，and，forsheerprotection，shemadeMaudieSinclaircomeandsharehereveningmeal。Thechildrenwereputtobed，andtheysatdownalonetogether，talkingovertheparty。MaudiewaspleasedtorelaxalittleofherseveritytowardHarrySterling；sheadmittedthathehadbeenveryusefulinarrangingthesets，andverypleasanttoeveryone。
"Ofcourse，he’sconceited，"shesaid，"butallboysare。He’llgetoverit。"
"Youtalkasifyouwereahundred，Maudie，"laughedMrs。
Mortimer。"He’solderthanyouare。"
"Oh，butboysaremuchyoungerthangirls，Mrs。Mortimer。HarrySterling’squiteaboystill。"
Aknocksoundedatthedoor。Aminutelatertheboywalkedin。
ThesightofMaudieSinclairproducedamomentarystart，butherecoveredhimselfanddeliveredanotefromhismother，theexcuseforhisvisit。Itwasaninvitationforafewdaysahead；
therecouldcertainlyhavebeennohurryforittoarrivethatnight。WhileMrs。Mortimerreadit，Harrysatdownandlookedather。Shewasobligedtotreathisarrivalasunimportant，andinvitedhimtohaveaglassofwine。
"Whyareyouineveningdress？"askedMaudiewonderingly。
"Fordinner，"answeredHarry。
"Doyoudresswhenyou’realoneathome？"
"Generally。Mostmendo。"
Maudieallowedherselftolaugh。Mrs。Mortimersawthejoke，too，butitsamusementwasbittertoher。
"Ilikeit，"shesaidgently。"MostofthemenIknowdoit。"
"Yourhusbanddoesn’t，"observedMissSinclair。
"PoorGeorgegetsdownfromtownsotired。"
ShegaveHarrythereplyshehadwritten（itwasarefusal——shecouldnothavetoldwhy），butheseemednottounderstandthathewastogo。Beforeheapprehended，shehadtogivehimasignificantglance；shegaveitindreadofMaudie’seyes。Sheknewhowsharpschoolgirls’eyesareinsuchthings。WhetherMaudiesawitornot，Harrydid；hesprangtohisfeetandsaidgood—night。
Maudiewasnotlongafterhim。Theconversationlanguished，andtherewasnothingtokeepher。Withanhonestyawnshetookherleave。Mrs。Mortimeraccompaniedherdownthegardentothegate。Asshewent，shebecametoherstartledhorrorawareofathirdpersoninthegarden。ShegotridofMaudieassoonasshecould，andturnedbacktothehouse。Harry，emergingfrombehindatree，stoodbeforeher。
"Iknowwhatyou’regoingtosay，"hesaiddoggedly，"butI
couldn’thelpit。Iwasdyingtoseeyouagain。"Shespreadoutherhandsasthoughtopushhimaway。Shewaslikeafrightenedgirl。
"Oh，you’remad!"shewhispered。"Youmustgo。Supposeanyoneshouldcome。Supposemyhusband————"
"Ican’thelpit。Iwon’tstaylong。"
"Harry，Harry，don’tbecruel!You’llruinme，Harry。Ifyouloveme，go——ifyouloveme。"
Evennowhehardlyfathomedherdistress，butshehadmadehimunderstandthatthisspotandthistimeweretoodangerous。
"TellmewhereIcanseeyousafely，"heasked，almostdemanded。
"Youcanseemesafely——nowhere。"
"Nowhere？Youmeanthatyouwon’t————"
"Harry，comehereaminute——there——nocloser。Ijustwanttobeabletotouchyourhair。Goaway，dear——yes，Isaid`dear。’
Dopleasegoaway。You——youwon’tbeanyhappierafterwardforhaving——if——ifyoudon’tgoaway。"
Hestoodirresolutelystill。Herfingerslightlytouchedhishair，andthenherarmdroppedatherside。Hesawatearrundownhercheek。Suddenlyhisownfaceturnedcrimson。
"I’m——I’mverysorry，"hemuttered。"Ididn’tmean————"
"Good—night。I’mgoingin。"
Sheheldoutherhand。Againhebentandkissedit，and，ashedidso，hefeltthelighttouchofherlipsamonghishair。
"I’msuchafoolish，foolishwoman，"shewhispered，"butyou’reagentleman，Harry，"andshedrewherhandawayandlefthim。
Twodayslatershetookherchildrenofftotheseaside。AndtheMortimersnevercamebacktoNatterley。ShewroteandtoldMrs。
SterlingthatGeorgewantedtobenearerhisworkintown，andthattheyhadgonetoliveatWimbledon。
"Howweshallmissher!"exclaimedgoodMrs。Sterling。"PoorHarry!what’llhesay？"
III。
Oneday，atBrighton，somesixyearslater，aladyinwidow’sweeds，accompaniedbyalong，loose—limbedboyoffourteen，wastakingtheairbythesea。Theplacewasfullofpeople，andthescenegay。
Mrs。MortimersatdownonaseatandJohnniestoodidlybyher。
Presentlyayoungmanandagirlcamealong。Whiletheywerestillalongwayoff，Mrs。Mortimer，whowaslookinginthatdirection，suddenlyleanedforward，startedalittle，andlookedhardatthem。Johnnie，noticingnothing，whistledunconcernedly。
Thecoupledrewnear。Mrs。Mortimersatwithafaintsmileonherface。Thegirlwaschattingmerrilytotheyoungman，andhelistenedtoherandlaughedeverynowandthen，buthisbrighteyeswerenotfixedonher，butwerehere，there，andeverywhere，wheremetalattractivetosucheyesmightbefound。
ThediscursivemoodoftheeyessomehowpleasedMrs。Mortimer。
Justastheyoungmancameoppositeher，heglancedinherdirection。
Mrs。Mortimerworethecurious，half—indifferent，half—expectantairofonereadyforrecognition，butnotclaimingitasaright。
Atthefirstglance，apuzzledlookcameintotheyoungman’seyes。Helookedagain：thentherewasablankinhiseyes。Mrs。
Mortimermadenosign，butsatstill，half—expectant。Hewaspasthernow，butheflungalastglanceoverhisshoulder。Hewasevidentlyverydoubtfulwhethertheladyontheseat，intheheavymourningrobes，weresomeoneheknewornot。Firsthethoughtshewas，andthenhethoughtshewasn’t。Thefacecertainlyremindedhimof——nowwhothedeucewasit？Harryknithisbrowsandexclaimed：
"Ihalfbelievethat’ssomebodyIknow!"
Andhepuzzledoverit，fornearlyfiveminutes，allinvain。
MeanwhileMrs。Mortimerlookedatthesea，tillJohnnietoldherthatitwasdinner—time。
II。
WHYMENDON’TMARRY。
WeweresittingaroundthefireatColonelHolborow’s。Dinnerwasover——had，infact，beenoverforsometime——thehourofsmoke，whisky，andconfidencehadarrived，andwehadbeentellingoneanotherthevariousreasonswhichaccountedforourbeingunmarried，forwewereallbachelorsexceptthecolonel，andhehad，asavariety，toldthereasonswhyhewishedhewasunmarried（hiswifewasaway）。JackDexter，however，hadnotspoken，anditwasonlyinresponsetoadirectappealthatherelatedthefollowingstory。Thestorymaybetrueoruntrue，butImustremarkthatJackalwayshadratheraweaknessforrepresentinghimselfontermsofcondescendingintimacywiththenobilityandevengreaterfolk。
Jacksigheddeeply。Therewasasympatheticsilence。Thenhebegan：
"Forsomereasonbestknowntoherself，"saidJack，withapatientshrugofhisshoulders，"theDuchessofMedmenham（I
don’tknowwhetheranyofyoufellowsknowher）chosetoobjecttomeasasuitorforthehandofherdaughter，MaryFitzmoine。
Thewomanwassoignorantthatshemayreallyhavethoughtthatmybirthwasnotequaltoherdaughter’s；butalltheworldknowsthattheMunnswereyeomentwohundredyearsago，andthatherGrace’sfamilyhailsfromastuccovillaintheneighborhoodofCardiff。However，theduchessdidobject；andwhentheseason（inthecourseofwhichIhadmetLadyMarymanytimes）ended，insteadofallowingherdaughtertopayaseriesofvisitsathouseswhereIhadarrangedtobe，shesentherofftoSwitzerland，underthecareofadragonwhomshehadengagedtokeepmeandotherdangerousfellowsataproperdistance。OnhearingofwhathadhappenedfromGeorgeFitzmoine（anintimatefriendofmine），Iatoncethrewupmyvisitsandstartedinpursuit。IfeltconfidentthatLadyMarywasfavorablyinclined（infact，Ihadcertainproofswhich——butnomatter），andthatifIwonherheartIcouldbreakdowntheoldlady’sopposition。I
shouldcertainlyhavesucceededinmyenterprise，andbeenatthismomentthehusbandofoneofthemostbeautifulgirlsinEngland，butforaverycuriousandunfortunatecircumstance，whichplacedmeinanunfavorablelightinMary’seyes。Iwasnottoblame；itwasjustabitofbadluck。
"IrangedovermostofSwitzerlandinsearchofLadyMary。
WhereverIwentIaskedabouther，andatlastIgotuponthetrack。AtInterlakenIfoundhernameinthevisitors’book，togetherwiththatofaMissDibbs，whomItooktobethedragon。
Iquestionedtheporterandfoundthatthetwoladieshad，theafternoonbefore，hiredacarriageanddriventoaquietlittlevillagesomefifteenmilesoff，wheretherewasasmallbutgoodinn。Heretheyevidentlymeanttostay，forlettersweretobesentafterthemthereforthenextweek。Theplacewasdescribedtomeasprettyandretired；itseemed，therefore，anidealspotformypurpose。Imadeupmymindatonce。I
startedthenextdayafterluncheon，tookthejourneyeasily，andcameinsightofthelittleinnaboutseveno’clockintheevening。Allwentwell。TheonlyquestionwasastothedispositionofMissDibbstowardme。Iprayedthatshemightturnouttobearomanticdragon；but，incasesheshouldproveobstinate，Imademyapproacheswithallpossiblecaution。WhenmycarriagestoppedatthedoorIjumpedout。Theheadwaiter，abigfellowinawhitewaistcoat，wasonthesteps。Idrewhimaside，andtookaten—francpiecefrommypocket。
"`Isthereayoungladystayinghere？’Iasked。`Tall，fair，handsome？’andIslidthepieceofgoldintohispalm。
"`Well，yes，sir，’hesaid，`thereisayounglady，andsheisallthatyousay，sir。Pardonme，MonsieurisEnglish？’
"`Yes，’saidI。
"`Ah，’saidhe，smilingmysteriously。`AnditisWednesday。’
"`ItiscertainlyWednesday，’Iadmitted，thoughIdidnotseethatthedayoftheweekmatteredmuch。
"Hecameclosetomeandwhispered：
"`Theladythoughtyoumightcome，sir。Ithinksheexpectsyou，sir。Oh，youcanrelyonmydiscretion，sir。’
"Iwasrathersurprised，butnotverymuch，forIhadhintedtoGeorgeFitzmoinethatImeanttotrymyluck，andIsupposedthathehadpassedmyhintontohissister。Mypredominantfeelingwasoneofgratification。Marylovedme!Maryexpectedme!
TherewascompletementalsympathybetweenMaryandmyself!
"Iwentuptomyroominastateofgreatcontentment。Ihadbeenthereabouthalfanhourwhenmyfriendthewaitercamein。Advancingtowardmewithamysteriousair，hetookablankenvelopeoutofhispocketandhelditupbeforemewitharoguishsmile。
"`Monsieurwillknowthehandwritinginside，’hesaidcunningly。
"NowIhadnevercorrespondedwithLadyMary，andofcoursedidnotknowherhandwriting，butIsawnouseintellingthewaiterthat。Intruth，Ithoughtthefellowquitefamiliarenough。SoIsaidshortlyandwithsomehauteur：
"`Givemethenote；’andItookanotherpieceofgoldoutofmypocket。Weexchangedourpossessions，thewaiterwithdrewwithawink，andItoreopenthepreciousnote。
"`Whateveryoudo，’itran，`don’trecognizeme。IamWATCHED。
AssoonasIcanIwilltellyouwheretomeetme。Iknewyouwouldcome。——M。’
"`Thedarling!’Iexclaimed。`She’sagirlofspirit。I’lltakegoodcarenottobetrayher。Oh，we’llcircumventoldDibbsbetweenus。’
"Ateighto’clockIwentdowntothesalleamanger。Itwasquiteempty。MaryandMissDibbsnodoubtdinedintheirownsittingroom，andthereappearedtobenooneelseinthehotel。
However，whenIwashalfwaythroughmymeal，astylishlydressedyoungwomancameinandsatdownatatableattheendoftheroomfarthestfromwhereIwas。Ishouldhavenoticedhermore，butIwasinareverieaboutMary’sadmirablecharms，andIonlyjustlookedather；shewasfrowninganddrummingangrilywithherfingersonthetable。Theheadwaiterhurrieduptoher；hisfacewascoveredwithsmiles，andhegavemeaconfidentialnodenpassant。Nothingelseoccurredexceptthatavillainouslookingfellow——something，tojudgebyhisappearance，betweenavaletandasecretary——thrusthisuglyheadthroughthedoorthreeorfourtimes。Wheneverhedidsothewaitersmiledblandlyathim。Hediditthelasttimejustastheladywaswalkingdowntheroom。Seeinghercominghedrewbackandheldthedooropenforherwithaclumsy，apologeticbow。Shesmiledscornfullyandpassedthrough。Thewaiterstoodgrinninginthemiddleoftheroom，andwhenI，inmyturn，rose，hewhisperedtome，`It’sallright，sir。’IwenttobedanddreamedofMary。
"OnenteringtheroomnextmorningthefirstpersonIsawwasMary。Shewaslookingadorablyfreshandpretty。Shesatoppositeastout，severe—lookingdameinblack。DirectlymyeyesalightedonherIschooledthemintoastudiouslyvacantexpression。She，poorgirl，wasnodiplomatist。Shestarted；
sheglancedanxiouslyatMissDibbs；Isawherlipsmove；sheblushed；sheseemedalmosttosmile。Ofcoursethisbehavior（I
lovedMarythemorethatshecouldnotconcealherdelightfulembarrassment!）excitedthedragon’scuriosity；sheturnedroundandfavoredmewithasearchinggaze。Iwasequaltotheoccasion。Icomprehendedthembothinalong，cool，deliberate，emptystare。Thestrainonmyself—controlwasimmense，butIsupportedit。Maryblushedcrimson，andhereyessanktoherplate。Poorgirl!Shehadsadlyoverratedherpowersofdeception。IwasnotsurprisedthatMissDibbsfrownedseverelyandsniffedaudibly。
"Atthatmomenttheothergirlcamein。Shewalkedup，tookthetablenexttomine，and，tomyconfusion，bestoweduponmealookofevidentinterest，thoughoftheutmostshortness——oneofthoselooks，youknow，thatseemtoberepentedofinaninstant，andaregenerallythemostdeliberate。Itooknonoticeatall，assuminganairofentireunconsciousness。AfewminuteslaterMarygotupandmadeforthedoor，withMissDibbsincloseattendance。Theimprudentchildcouldnotforbeartoglanceatme；butI，seeingthedragon’swatchfuleyeuponme，remainedabsolutelyirresponsive。Nay，tothrowMissDibbsoffthescent，Ifixedmyeyesonmyneighborwithassumedpreoccupation。
Flushingpainfully，Maryhurriedout，andIheardMissDibbssniffagain。Ichuckledoverherobviousdisapprovalofmyneighborandmyself。Theexcellentwomanevidentlythoughtusnobetterthanweoughttobe!ButIfeltthatIshouldgomadifI
couldnotspeaktoMarysoon。
"Iwentoutandsatdownintheveranda。Itwasthenabouthalf—
pastten。TheuglyfellowwhomIhadnoticedtheeveningbeforewashangingabout，butpresentlyawaitercameandspoketohim，andhegotupwithagrumbleandwentintothehouse。Tenminutesafterwardmyneighborofthesalleamangercameout。Shelookedverydiscontented。Sherangahandbellthatstoodonthetable，andawaiterranup。
"`Where’stheheadwaiter？’sheaskedsharply。
"`Pardon，ma’mselle，butheiswaitingonsomeladiesupstairs。’
"`Whatanuisance!’saidshe。`Butyou’lldo。Iwanttogivehimanorder。Stay；comeindoorsandI’llwriteitdown。’
"Shedisappeared，andIsaton，wonderinghowIwastogetasightofMary。Atlast，inweariness，Iwentindoorstothesmokingroom。Itlookedouttothebackandwasadrearylittleroom；butIlitmycigarandbeganonathreedays’oldcopyoftheTimes。ThusIspentatedioushour。Thenmyfriendtheheadwaiterappeared，lookingmoreroguishthanever。Idivedintomypocket，heproducedanote，Iseizedit。
"`Whyhaveyoubeensolong？’（Charminglyunreasonable!whatcouldIhavedone？）`Directlyyougetthis，cometothewoodbehindthehotel。Takethepathtotherightandgostraighttillyoufindme。IhavethrowntheSPY[pooroldDibbs!]offthescent。——M。’
"Icaughtupmyhatandrushedintothehall。Icannonedintoayoungmanwhohadjustgotoutofacarriageandwasstandingintheveranda。WithahastyapologyIdashedon。Beyonddoubtshelovedme!Andshewashonestenoughnottoconcealit。I
hatemockmodesty。IlongedtoshowherhowtrulyIreturnedherlove，andIrejoicedthatthereneedbenotediouspreliminaries。
MaryandIunderstoodoneanother。Akisswouldbethesealofourlove——andthemostsuitablebeginningofourconversation。
"InfiveminutesIwasinthewood。JustbeforeIdisappearedamongitstreesIheardsomeonecalling`Monsieur，monsieur!’
Itsoundedlikethevoiceoftheheadwaiter，butIwouldn’thavestoppedforfiftyheadwaiters。ItookthepathMaryhadindicatedandranalongitatthetopofmyspeed。Suddenly，tomyjoy，Icaughtsightofthefigureofagirl；shewasseatedonamoundofgrass，and，thoughherfacewasfromme，ImadenodoubtitwasMary。Sheworethemostcharmingbluecloak（itwasachillymorning）whichcompletelyenvelopedher。Ideterminednottoshilly—shally。Shelovedme——Ilovedher。Iranforward，plumpeddownonmykneesbehindher，tookherheadbetweenmyhandsdodgedround，andkissedhercheek。
"`Atlast，mydarling!’Icriedinpassionatetones。
"ByJupiter，itwastheothergirl，though!
"Isprangbackinhorror。Thegirllookedatmeforamoment。
Thensheblushed；thenshefrowned；then——why，thenshebegantolaughconsumedly。Iwasamazed。
"`"Atlast，"youcallit，’shegasped。`Icallit"atfirst"’；
andshelaughedmerrilyandmelodiously。Shecertainlyhadanicelaugh，thatgirl。
"Now，concerningwhatfollows，Ihave，sincethen，entertainedsomedoubtswhetherIbehavedinallrespectsdiscreetly。Youwillallowthatthepositionwasadifficultone，butitis，I
admit，verypossiblethatmywisestcoursewouldhavebeentomakeanapologyandturntailasquicklyasIcould。Well，I
didn’t。IthoughtthatIowedtheladyafullexplanation。
Besides，Iwantedafullexplanationmyself。Finally（oh，yes，Iseeyoufellowsgrinningandwinking），Marywasnotthere，andthisyoungladyratherinterestedme。IdecidedthatIwouldhavefiveminutes’talkwithher；thenIwouldrunbackandfindMary。
"`Imustbegathousandpardons，’Ibegan，`butItookyouforsomebodyelse。"
"`Oh，ofcourse，’saidshe，withashrug，`it’salwaysthat。’
"`Youappearincredulous，’saidI，ratheroffended。
"`Well，andifIam？’saidshe。
"Myfeelingswerehurt。IproducedMary’ssecondnote。
"`IfIcantrusttoyourdiscretion，I’llprovewhatIsay，’I
remarkedinanettledtone。
"`Ishallbeverycurioustoheartheproof，sir，andIwillbemostdiscreet，’shesaid。Shewaspouting，buthereyesdanced。
Really，shelookedverypretty——although，ofcourse，IwouldnotforamomentcompareherwithLadyMary。
"`Alady，’saidI，`wassokindastotellmetoseekherherethismorning。’
"`Oh，asifIbelievedthat!’
"Iwaspiqued。
"`There’stheproof，’Icried，flingingthenoteintoherlap。
"Shetookitup，glancedatit，andgavealittleshriek。
"`Wheredidyougetthis？’
"`Why，fromtheheadwaiter。’
"`Oh，thefool!’shecried。`It’smine。’
"`Yours？nonsense!Hegavemethatandanotherlastnight。’
"`Oh，thestupidity!Theywerefor——theywerenotforyou。Theywerefor——someonewhoistoarrive。’
"Ipointedatthesignatureandgasped，`M。!DoyousignM。？’
"`Yes；myname’s——mynamebeginswithM。Oh，ifI’donlyseenthatwaiterthismorning!Oh，theidiot!’
"ThenIbelieveIswore。
"`Madame，’saidI，`I’mruined!Noharmisdonetoyou——I’mamanofhonor——butI’mruined。Onthestrengthofyourwretchednotes，madame，I’vecutthegirlIlovebestintheworld——
cutherdead——dead——dead!’
"`What？Thatyoungladyinthe————Oh，youthoughttheywerefromher？Oh，Isee？How——how——oh，howveryamusing!’Andtheheartlesslittlewretchwentoffintoanotherpealoflaughter。
"`Youpretendednottoknowher!Oh，dear!oh，dear!’andherlaughterechoedamongthetreesagain。`Isawherlookingatyou，andyouateonlikeapig!Oh，dear!oh，dear!’
"`Stoplaughing!’saidIsavagely。
"`Oh，I’mverysorry，butIcan’t。Whatascrapeyou’vegointo!
Oh，me!’Andshewipedhereyes（theywereasblueashercloak）
withadelicatebitofahandkerchief。
"`Youshan’tlaugh，’saidI。`Whowereyournotesfor？’
"`SomebodyIexpected。Hehasn’tcome。Thewaitertookyouforhim，Isuppose。Ineverthoughtofhisbeingsostupid。Oh，whatabruteshemusthavethoughtyou!’Andshebegantolaughagain。
"Ihadhadenoughofit。Ihatebeinglaughedat。
"`Ifyougoonlaughing，’saidI，`I’llkissyouagain。’
"Thethreatwasafailure；shedidnotappearatallalarmed。
"`Notyou!’shesaid，laughingworsethanever。
"IshouldlikeyoufellowstounderstandthatmyheartneverwaveredinitsallegiancetoLadyMary——myconscienceisquiteclearastothat——butIhadpledgedmyword。IcaughtthattiresomegirlroundthewaistandIkissedheronce——I’msureofonce，anyhow。Shegaspedandstruggled，laughingstill。Then，withasuddenchangeofvoice，shecried，`Stop’，stop!’
"Ilethergo。Ilookedround。Wehadagalleryofspectators。
Ononesidestoodtheugly—headedvalet；ontheother，inattitudesofhorror，MaryandMissDibbs!
"`You’veruinedusbothnow，’saidthegirlinblue。
"Irosetomyfeetandwasabouttoexplain，whentheuglyfellowrushedatme，brandishingacane。Ihadquiteenoughtoarrangewithoutbeingbotheredbyhim。Icaughtthecaneinmylefthand，andwithmyrightIknockedhimdown。
"ThenIwalkeduptoLadyMary。ItooknoheedofMissDibbs’
presence；itwastoocriticalamomenttothinkoftrifles。
"`LadyMary，’saidI，`appearancesaresomuchagainstmethatyoucannotpossiblyattachtheslightestweighttothem。’
"`Sir，’saidshe，`Ihavenolongerthehonorofyouracquaintance。Ihaveonlytothankyouforhavinghadtheconsiderationnottorecognizemewhenwemetsounexpectedlyinthediningroom。Praycontinuetoshowmethesamefavor。’
"Withwhichpleasantlittlespeechsheturnedonherheel。Itwasclearthatshesuspectedmemostunjustly。Iturnedtothegirlinblue，butshewasbeforehandwithme。
"`Ah，IwishI’dneverseeyou，’shecried，`yougreat，stupidcreature!He[shepointedtotheprostratefigureoftheuglyservant]willtellFredericeverything。’
"`Come，’saidI，`_I_wasonlyanaccident；itwouldhavebeenjustasbadif————’
"AsIspokeIheardastepbehindme。Turninground，IfoundmyselffacetofacewiththeyoungmanwithwhomIhadcomeincollisionasIrushedthroughthehall。Hegazedattheservant——atme——atthegirlinblue。
"`Margaret!’heexclaimed，`whatisthe————’
"`Hush，hush!’shewhispered，pointingagaintotheservant。
"Isteppeduptohim，liftingmyhat：
"`Sir，’saidI，"kindlyinformmeifyouarethegentlemanwhowastocomefromEngland。’
"`CertainlyIcomefromEngland，’hesaid。
"`AndyououghttohavearrivedonWednesday？’
"`Yes，"heanswered。
"`Then，’saidI，`allIhavetosaytoyou，sir，is——thatIwishtothedevilyou’dkeepyourappointments。’AndIleftthem。
"That’swhyI’mnotmarried，boys。Where’smyglass？"
"Itisaverycuriousstory，"observedthecolonel。"Andwhoweretheyall——thegirlinblue——andtheyoungman——andtheuglyservant——andFrederic？"
"Colonel，"saidJack，withanairofdeepestmystery，"youwouldbeastoundedtohear。"
Weallprickedupourears。
"But，"hecontinued，"Iamnotatlibertytosay。"
Wesankbackinourchairs。
"Doyouknow？"askedthecolonel，andJacknoddedsolemnly。
"Outwithit!"wecried。
"Impossible!"saidJack。"ButImaytellyouthatthematterengagedtheattentionofmorethanoneoftheForeignOfficesofEurope。"
"GoodHeavens!"criedweinchorus，andJackdrankoffhiswhiskyandwater，rosetohisfeet，andputonhishat。
"PoordearMary!"saidhe，asheopenedthedoor。"Shenevergotoverit。"
Thecolonelshoutedafterhim：
"ThenwhatdidshemarryJenkynsoftheBluesfor？"
"Pique!"saidJack，andheshutthedoor。
III。
ACHANGEOFHEART。
ItwascommonknowledgethatSmuggwasengagedtobemarried。
Familiarityhadrobbedthefactofsomeofitssurprisingness，butthereremainedasubstratumofwonder，notremovedevenbythesightofhisbetrothed’sphotographandtheinformationthatshewasadistantrelativewhohadbeenbroughtupwithhimfrominfancy。ThefeaturesandtheexplanationbetweenthemrescuedSmuggfromtheincongruityofaromance，butweunitedintheopinionthattheladywasill—advisedinpreferringSmuggtosolitude。Still，forallthathewasaridiculouscreature，shedid，andhenceithappenedthatSmugg，desiringtoformafurnishingfund，organizedareadingparty，whichGayford，Tritton，Bird，andIatoncejoined。
EverymorningatnineSmugg，hisbreakfastfinished，clearedhiscornerofthetable，openedhisbooks，andassumedanexpectantair；soMarythemaidtoldus；wewereneverthereourselves；webreakfastedat9。30or10o’clock，andonlyabout11didweclearourcorners，lightourpipes，openourbooks，anddiscusstheprospectsoftheday。
Aswediscussedthem，Smuggconstruedinagentlebleat；whatheconstruedorwhyheconstruedit（seeingthatnobodyheededhim）
wasamystery；thewholeperformancewassimplyatributetoSmugg’sconscience，and，assuch，wasreceivedwithgood—natured，scornfultoleration。
Suddenlyachangecame。
OnemorningtherewasnoSmugg!Yethehadbreakfasted——Maryandaneggshelltestifiedtothateffect。Hereappearedat11。30，confusedandverywarm（hehadexceptionalpowersinthewayofbeingwarm）。Wesaidnothing，andhebegantobleatHorace。
InaminuteofsilenceIhappenedtohearwhatitwas：itreferredtoaladyofthenameofPyrrha；thelearnedmayidentifythepassageforthemselves。ThenextdaythesamethinghappenedexceptthatitwascloseontwelvebeforeSmuggappeared。GayfordandTrittontooknonoticeoftheaberration；
BirdcongratulatedSmuggontheincreaseddocilityofhisconscience。Iwatchedhimcloselyashewipedhisbrow——hewasverywarm，indeed。Athirdtimethescenewasenacted；mycuriositywasaroused；ImadeMarycallmeveryearly，andfromthewindowIespiedSmuggleavingthehouseat9。15，andgoingwithrapid，furtivestepsalongthelittlepaththatledtooldDill’stinyfarm。Islippeddownstairs，boltedacupoftea，seizedapieceoftoast，andfollowedSmugg。Hewasoutofsight，butpresentlyImetJoeShanks，thebutcher’sson，whobroughtusourchops。Joewasastoutyoungman，abouttwenty—one，red—faced，burly，andgreasy。WeusedtohavemanyjokeswithJoe；evenSmugghadbeforenowbrokenamildshaftofclassicalwitonhim；infact，wemadeabuttofJoe，andhisgood—humored，muttonysmiletoldusthathethoughtitacompliment。
"SeenMr。Smuggasyoucamealong，Joe？"Iasked。
"Yes，sir。GonetowardDill’sfarm，sir。"
"Ah，Dill’sfarm!"
"Yes，sir。"
Thechop—ladenJoepassedon。Imendedmypace，andsoonfoundmyselfontheoutskirtsofDill’spremises。Ihadbeentherebefore；wehadallbeentherebefore。Dillhadadaughter。I
sawhernowinasunbonnetandlacedboots。ImaysayatoncethatBetsyDillwasverypretty，inafine，robuststyle，andallfourofusweredecidedlyenamoredofhercharms。Usuallywecourtedherinabody，andscrupulousfairnesswasobservedinthematterofseekingprivateinterviews。
Smugghadneverspokentoher——soweshouldallhavesworn。Butnowmywonderingeyessaw，oppositePyrrha（webeganfromthisdaytocallherPyrrha）thefigureofSmugg。Pyrrhawasleaningagainstabarn，onefootcrossedovertheother，herarmsakimbo，astringofherbonnetinhermouth，andherblueeyeslaughingfromunderlonglashes。Smuggstoodlimplyoppositeher，histrousersbaggingoverhishalf—bentknees，hishatinonehand，andintheotherahandkerchief，withwhich，fromtimetotime，hemoppedhisforehead。Icouldnothear（ofcourseIdidnotwishto）whattheyweresaying；indeed，Ihavemydoubtsiftheysaidanything；butpresentlySmuggmovedahesitatingstepnearer，whenPyrrha，withamerrylaugh，dartedbyhimandranaway，turningamockingfaceoverhershoulder。Smuggstoodstillforaminute，thenputonhishat，lookedathiswatch，andwalkedslowlyaway。
IdidnotkeepSmugg’ssecret；Ifeltundernoobligationtokeepit。Hedeservednomercy，andIexposedhimatbreakfastthatverymorning。ButIcouldnothelpbeingalittlesorryforhimwhenhecamein。Hebenthisheadundertheshowerofreproach，chaff，andgibing；hedidnottrytoexcusehimself；hesimplyopenedhisbookattheoldplace，andweallshoutedtheoldode，substituting"Betsa"for"Pyrrha"whereverwecould。
Still，inspiteofourjocularity，weallfeltanunder—currentofrealanger。
WeconsideredthatSmuggwastreatingPyrrhaverybadly——Smugg，anengagedman，agedthirty，presumablypasttheheatandcarelessnessofyouth。Weglowedwithasenseofherwrongs，andthatafternoonweeachwentforasolitarywalk——atleast，westartedforasolitarywalk——buthalfanhourlaterweallmetatthegateleadingtoDill’smeadows，and，inanexplosionoflaughter，acknowledgedoursecretdesignofmeetingPyrrha，andopeninghereyestoSmugg’siniquity。
Thegreatsurprisewasstilltocome。Ateleventhenextmorning，whenwehadjustsatdowntowork，andSmugghadslidintotheroomwiththestealthy，ashamedairheworeafterhismorningexcursions，Maryappeared，andtoldusthatJoeShanks，thebutcher’sson，hadcomewiththechops，andwantedtospeaktous。Wehailedthediversion，andhadJoeshownin。Gayfordpushedthebeerjugandaglasstowardhim，saying：
"Helpyourself，Joe。"
Joedrankadraught，wipedhismouthonhisbluesleeve，andremarked：
"Nooffense，gentlemen。"
"None，"saidGayford，whoseemedtohaveassumedthechairmanshipofthemeeting。
Joe，seemingslightlyembarrassed，clearedhisthroat，andlookedroundagain。
"Nooffense，gentlemen，"herepeated；"butshe’sbinwalkingwithmetwoyearscomeMichaelmas。"
Apausefollowed。Thenthechairmanexpressedtheviewsofthemeeting。
"Thedeuceshehas!"saidhe。
"OffANDon，"addedJoecandidly。
IlookedatSmugg。Hehadshrunkdownlowinhisseat，andrestedhisheadonhishand。Hisfacewashalfhidden；buthewasverywarm，andthedropstrickledfromhisforeheaddownhisnose。
"Itseemstobeagooddealoff，"saidthechairmanjudicially。
"Nooffense，"saidJoe；"butIdon’ttakeitkindofyou，gentlemen。I’veservedyoufaithful。"
"Thechopsareexcellent，"concededthechairman。
"AndIdon’ttakeitkind。"
"Developyourcomplaint，"saidthechairman。"Imean，what’stherow，Joe？"
"Sinceyougentlemencameshe’sbeensaucy，"saidJoe。
"Idonotsee，"observedthechairman，"thatanythingcanbedone。IfPyrrhaprefersus，Joe[hetreatedthecasecollectively，whichwascertainlywise]，whatthen？"
"Begpardon，sir？"
"Oh，Imeaniftheladyprefersus，Joe？"
Joebroughthisfatfistdownonthetablewithathump。
"Itaintasifyoumeantit，"saidhedoggedly；"youjustunsettlesof’er。Is’poseIcan’thelpyetalking，andlaughing，andwalkingalongof’er，butyouaintnocalltokiss’er。"
Anotherpauseensued。ThechairmanheldaconsultationwithTritton，whosatonhisrighthand。
"Themeeting，"saidGayford，"willproceedtodeclare，onebyone，whetherithasever——andifso，howoften——kissedthelady。
Iwillbegin。Never!Mr。Tritton？"
"Never!"saidTritton。
"Mr。Bird？"
"Never!"saidBird。
"Mr。Robertson？"
"Never!"saidI。
"Mr。Smugg？"
"Iseed’imthisverymorning!"criedJoe，likeanaccusingangel。
Smuggtookhishandawayfromhisface，aftergivinghiswetbrowonelastdab。HelookedatGayfordandatJoe，butsaidnothing。
"Mr。Smugg？"repeatedthechairman。
"Mr。Smugg，"interposedTrittonsuavely，"probablyfeelshimselfinadifficulty。Thesecretisnot，perhaps，entirelyhisown。"
Weallnodded。
"WeenterapleaofnotguiltyforMr。Smugg，"observedthechairmangravely。
"Iseed’imdoit，"saidJoe。
Noonespoke。Joefinishedhisbeer，pulledhisforelock，andturnedonhisheel。SuddenlySmuggburstintospeech。Hecouldhardlyformhiswords，andtheyjostledoneanotherinthebreathlessconfusionofhisutterance。
"I——I——you’venoright。Isaynothing。IfIchoose，Ishall——noonehasarighttostopme。IfIloveher——ifshedoesn’tmind——
Isaynothing——nothingatall。Iwon’thearaword。IshalldoasIlike。"
Joehadpausedtohearhim，andnowstoodlookingathiminwonder。Thenhesteppedquicklyuptothetable，and，leaningacross，askedinaharshvoice：
"Youmeanhonest，doyou，byher？You’dmakeheryourwife，wouldyou？"
Smugg，lookingstraightinfrontofhim，answered：
"Yes。"
Joedrewback，touchedhisforelockagain，andsaid：
"Thenit’sfairfighting，sir，beggingyourpardon；andnooffense。Butthegirlwasminefirst，sir。"
ThenGayfordinterposed。
"Mr。Smugg，"saidhe，"youtellJoe，here，thatyou’dmarrythislady。MayIaskhowyoucan——when————"
ButforonceSmuggwasabletosilenceoneofhispupils。Hearosefromhisseat，andbroughthishandheavilydownonGayford’sshoulder。
"Holdyourtongue!"hecried。"ImustanswertoGod，butI
needn’tanswertoyou。"
Joelookedathimwithroundeyes，and，withalastsalute，slowlywentout。Noneofusspoke，andpresentlySmuggopenedhisThucydides。
Formypart，ItookveryconsiderableinterestinPyrrha’ssideofthequestion。Iamusedmyselfbyconstructingafancy—bornloveofPyrrha’sforhersocialsuperior，andifhehadbeenoneofourselves，Ishouldhaveseennoabsurdity。ButSmuggrefusedaltogethertofitintomyframe。TherewasnoglamouraboutSmugg；and，totellthetruth，Ishouldhavethoughtthatanygirl，beherstationwhatitmight，facedwiththealternativeofSmuggandJoe，wouldhavechosenJoe。Inmyopinion，PyrrhawasmerelyamusingherselfwithSmugg，andIwasrathercomfortedbythisreversaloftheordinaryroles。Still，Icouldnotrestinconjecture，andmycuriosityledmeuptoDill’slittlefarmontheafternoonofthedayofJoe’ssuddenappearance。Theothersletmegoalone。DirectlyafterdinnerSmuggwenttohisbedroom，andtheotherthreehadgoneofftoplaylawntennisatthevicar’s。Ilitmypipe，andstrolledalongtillI
reachedthegatethatledtoDill’smeadow。HereIwaitedtillPyrrhashouldappear。
AsIsatandsmoked，avoicestrucksuddenlyonmyear——thevoiceofMrs。Dill，raisedtoshrillnessbyanger。
"Beoffwithyou，"shesaid，"andmindyourways，orworse’llhappentoyou。’Ere’syourswitch。"
AfteramomentPyrrhaturnedthecorner，andcametowardme。Shewaswipinghereyeswiththecornerofherapron，andcarriedinherhandalighthazelswitch，whichsheusedtoguideerrantcows。Shewasalmostatthegatebeforeshesawme。Shestarted，andblushedveryred。
"Lor!isityou，Mr。Robertson？"shesaid。
Inodded，butdidnotmove。
"Letmepass，sir，please。I’venotimetostop。"
"What，nottotalktome，Pyrrha——Betsy，Imean？"
"Motherdon’tlikemetalkingtogentlemen。"
"You’vebeencrying，"saidI。
"No，Ihaven’t，"saidPyrrha，quiteviolently。
"Motherbeenscoldingyou？"
"Iwishyou’dletmeby，sir。"
"Whatfor？"
"It’sallyourfault，"burstoutPyrrha。"Ididn’twantyou；no，norhim，either。Whatdoyoucomeandgetmeintotroublefor？"
"Ihaven’tdoneanything，Betsy。Comenow!"
"Youaintasbadassome，"sheconceded，adimsmilebreakingthroughtheclouds。
"YoumeanSmugg，"Iobserved。
"Whotoldyou？"shecried。
"Joe，"saidI。
"Seemshe’sgotalottosaytoeverybody，"shecommentedresentfully。
"Ah!hetoldyourmother，didhe？Well，youknowyoushouldn’t，Betsy。"
"Iwon’tneverspeaktohimagain——ImeantIwon’tever[thegrammarianisabroad]，Mr。Robertson。"
"What!NottoJoe？"
"Joe!No；thatSmugg。"
"ButJoetoldofyou。"
"Well，anditwashisright。"
Ifshethoughtso，Ihadnomoretosay。Notionsdifferamongdifferentsets。ButIpressedthepointalittle。
"Joegotyouyourscolding。"
Now，Ican’tsaywhetherIdidordidnotemphasizethelastwordunduly，butPyrrhablushedagain，andremarked：
"Youwanttoknowtoomuch，sir，byadeal。"
SoIleftthataspecttothesubject，andcontinued：
"IsupposeitwasforlettingMr。Smuggkissyou？"
"Icouldn’thelpit。"
Ihadgreatdoubtsofthat——shecouldhavetackledSmuggwithonehand；butIsaidpleasantly：
"Nomorecouldhe，I’msure。"
Pyrrhacastanalarmedglanceatthehouse。
"Oh，I’llbecareful，"Ilaughed。"Yes，andI’llletyougo。
Butjusttellme，Betsy，whatdoyouthinkofMr。Smugg？"
"Idon’tthinkthatofhim!"saidshe，snappingherprettyredfingers。"Joe’udmaketenofhim。IwishJoe’dtalktohimabit。"
Theendcamesoonafterthis，and，inspiteofourattitude（I
speakofusfour，notofSmugg）ofwhole—heartedness，Ithinkitwasratherashocktousall，whenJoeannouncedonemorning，onhisarrivalwiththechops，thathewastobemadeahappymanatthechurchnextday。Smuggwasnotintheroom，andtherestofuscongratulatedJoe，andmadeupapurseforhimtogivePyrrha，withourbestrespects，andhebowedhimselfout，mightilypleased，andasseveratingthatwewererealgentlemen。Thenwesatandlookedatthetable。
"Itrobsusofaresource，"pronouncedGayford，onceagainmakinghimselfthemouthpieceoftheparty。Weallnodded，andfilledfreshpipes。
PresentlySmuggsidledin。Wehadseenlittleofhimthelastweek；savewhenhewasconstruinghehadtakenrefugeinhisownroom。Whenhecameinnow，Gayfordwaggedhisheadsignificantlyatme；apparently，itwasmytasktobellthecat。
Irose，andwenttothemantelpiece。Smugghadsatdownatthetable，andmybackwastohim。Itookamatchfromthebox，struckit，andappliedittomypipe，and，punctuatingmywordswithinterspersedpuffings，Isaidcarelessly：
"Bytheway，Smugg，Pyrrha’sgoingtobemarriedtoJoeShanksto—morrow。"
Idon’tknowhowhelooked。Ikeptmyfacefromhim，but，afteralongminute’spause，heanswered：
"Thankyou，Robertson。It’sAeschylusthismorning，isn’tit？"
Wehadanoisyeveningthatnight。Isupposewefeltbelowpar，andwantedcheeringup。Anyhow，wemadeanexpeditiontothegrocer’s，andamazedhimwithademandforhisbestchampagneandhischoicestsherry。Wecarriedthegoodshomeinabag，andsatdowntoarevel。Smugghadsomebreadandcheeseinhisownroom；hesaidthathehadletterstowrite。Wedinedlargely，anddrankstillmorelargely；thenwesang，andatlast——itwasnearontwelve，aterriblehourforthatneighborhood——wemadeourway，amidmuchboisterousnessandhorseplay，tobed；whereI，atleast，wasasleepinfiveminutes。
Asthechurchclockstrucktwo，Iawoke。IheardasoundofmovementinSmugg’sroomnextdoor。Ilayandlistened。
Presentlyhisdooropened，andhecreakedgentlydownstairs。I
sprangoutofbedandlookedoutofthewindow。Smugg，fullydressed，wasglidingalongthepathtowardDill’sfarm。Someimpulse——curiosityonly，verylikely——mademejumpintomytrousers，seizeaflanneljacket，drawonapairofboots，andhastilyfollowhim。WhenIgotoutsidehewasvisibleinthemoonlight，mountingthepathaheadofme。Heheldonhiswaytowardthefarm，Ifollowing。Whenhereachedtheyardhestoppedforamoment，andseemedtopeerupatthewindows，whichwerealldarkandunresponsive。IstoodasquietasIcould，twentyyardsfromhim，andmovedcautiouslyonagainwhenheturnedtotherightandpassedthroughthegateintothemeadows。
IsawnosignsofPyrrha。Smuggheldonhiswayacrossthemeadows，downtowardthestream；andsuddenlythethoughtleapedtomybrainthatthepoorfoolmeanttodrownhimself。ButI
couldhardlybelieveit。Surelyhemustmerelybetakingadesperatelover’sramble，alastsadvisittothescenesofhissilly，irrationalinfatuation。IfIwentuptohim，Ishouldlookafool，too；soIhungbehind，readytoturnuponhimifneedappeared。
