第20章

“Well，I’mgladofthat，“shesaid。“Iain’tgotanygrudgeagainstAnnabel，butneitherhaveIgotoneagainstyou。Anothermaninthatfamilywouldhaveaneasytimeinoneway，hewouldn’thavetodoanythinkin’forhimself——Elkanahandhisdaughterwoulddoallthatwasnecessary。Soyou’renotinlove。ThenIdon’tknowwhatdoesailyou。I’llsaythis，though，forabodythatain’tinloveyoucertainlystaywiththeDanielsesalongtime。

Youwentthererightaftermeetin’thisnoonandnowit’sseveno’clockandyou’vejustgothome。And’twasthesamelastSundayandtheonebefore。Beenthereallthetime，haveyou？“

Sheknewhehadnot，becauseshehadseenhimpasstheparsonage，ontheoppositesideoftheroad，twohoursbefore。Butshewascurioustolearnwhathisreplywouldbe。Itwasnoncommittal。

“No，“hesaidslowly。“Notallthetime。I——er——wentforashortwalk。“

Beforeshecouldinquireconcerningthatwalkhehadenteredthestudyandclosedthedoorafterhim。

Duringtheweekwhichfollowedthisparticularconversationhewasmoreabsent-mindedthanever。Therewereeveningswhenhespokescarcelyaword，butsatsilentinhischair，whileKeziah，lookingupfromhermending，watchedhimandguessedandwondered。Afterhehadgonetohisroomforthenight，shewouldhearhimpacingthefloor，backandforth，backandforth。Sheaskednomorequestions，however；mindingherownbusinesswasaspecialtyofKeziah’s，anditwasararequalityinTrumet。

Sundaywasacloudy，warmday，“muggy，“soCaptainZebdescribedit。AfterthemorningserviceMr。Ellery，asusual，wenthomewithCaptainDanielsandAnnabel。Keziahreturnedtotheparsonage，atealonelydinner，washedthedishes，andsatdowntoreadalibrarybook。Shereadforanhourandthen，findingitdifficulttokeephermindonthestory，gaveitup，closedthebookand，rising，walkedtothewindow。Butthemisty，hotlonelinessoftheafternoon，wasneitherinterestingnorcheerful，sosheturnedawayandwentupstairstoherownroom。Hertrunkwasinonecornerofthisroomandsheunlockedit，takingfromacompartmentofthetrayarosewoodwritingcase，inlaidwithmother-of-pearl，apresentfromherfather，whohadbroughtithomefromseawhenshewasagirl。

Fromthecaseshetookapacketoflettersandadaguerreotype。

Thelatterwastheportraitofayoungman，inhigh-collaredcoat，stock，andfancywaistcoat。Hishair，wornlongovertheears，wassmoothwithashinethatsuggestedoil，andinhisshirtfrontwasalargepin，whichmightpossiblyhavebeenmistakenbyacredulousobserverforadiamond。Mrs。Coffinlookedatthedaguerreotype，sighed，shuddered，andlaiditaside。Thensheopenedthepacketofletters。Selectingonefromthetopofthepile，shereaditslowly。And，assheread，shesighedagain。

Shedidnothearthebackdooroftheparsonageopenandclosesoftly。Nordidshehearthecautiousfootstepsintheroomsbelow。Whatarousedherfromherreadingwasherownname，spokenatthefootofthestairs。

“Keziah！Keziah，areyouthere？“

Shestarted，sprangup，andranoutintothehall，theletterstillinherhand。

“Whoisit？“sheaskedsharply。“Mr。Ellery，isthatyou？“

“No，“wastheanswer。“It’sme——Nat。Areyoubusy，Keziah？I

wanttoseeyouforaminute。“

Thehousekeeperhurriedlythrusttheletterintoherwaist。

“I’llberightdown，Nat，“sheanswered。“I’mcomin’。“

Hewasinthesittingroomwhensheentered。HewaswearinghisSundaysuitofblueandhissoftfelthatwasonthecentertable。

Sheheldoutherhandandheshookitheartily。

“Well！“sheobserved，smiling，“IdeclareifIdon’tbelieveyou’vegotthetiptoehabit。Thisisthesecondtimeyou’vesneakedintothehouseandscaredme’mosttodeath。Iaskedyoubeforeifyouwa’n’tashamedofyourselfandnowIaskitagain。“

Beforehecouldreplyshecaughtaglimpseofhisface。

“Whatisit？“sheasked。“Whatisthematter？Isanybodysick？

Isyourfather——“

“No，he’sallright。Thatis，he’saswellashehasbeenlately，thoughthatisn’tsayin’much。“

“IsGrace——“

“No，she’sallright，too，Iguess。Beensortofquietandsorrowfulforthelastfewweeks——orI’veseemedtonoticethatshehas——butIcal’lateit’snothin’serious。Iwouldn’twonderifthesamethingthat’stroublin’heriswhatailsme。“

“Butwhatisit？Whydon’tyoutellme？“

“I’mgoin’totellyou，Keziah。That’swhatIcomeherefor。I——“

“Sitdown，can’tyou？Don’tstanduptherelikealighthouse，shuttin’outthewholebroadsideoftheroom。YouaretheBIGGEST

thing！“

CaptainHammondselectedthemostsubstantialchairintheapartmentandsatdownuponit。Helookedathisfriendandshookhishead。

“Nouse，Keziah，“hesaid。“IfIwasasdeepdowninthebluesasthebottomoftheWhaleDeep，alookatthatfaceofyourswouldpullmetothetopagain。You’reagoodwoman！“

“Thanks！WhenIhavesparetimeonmyhandsI’llpracticetryin’

tobelievethat。Butwhatisthetrouble，Nat？Outwithit。“

“Well，Keziah，it’stroubleenough。DadandIhavehadafallin’

out。“

Mrs。Coffin’smouthandeyesopened。

“What？“shecried，inutterastonishment。

“Yes。It’strue。Wehadwhatwasnextdoortoarealquarrelafterdinnerto-day。ItwouldhavebeenarealoneifIhadn’twalkedoffandlefthim。He’sassetastherockofGibraltar，and——“

“Andyourfoundationsain’tgiventoslippin’much。NatHammond，I’msurprisedatyou！Whatwasitallabout？Religion？“

“No，notasliverofreligioninit。If’twasthat，Icoulddodge，orhauldownmycolors，ifIhadto。Butit’ssomethin’worse，enoughsightworse。Somethin’Ican’tdo——evenfordad——andwon’teither。Keziah，he’sdeadsetonmymarryin’Grace。SaysifI

don’the’llknowthatIdon’treallycareatinnickelforhim，orforhiswishes，orwhatbecomesofthegirlafterhe’sgone。“

“Nat！“

“It’safact。Yousee，dadrealizes，better’nIthoughthedid，thathishealthisprettyshakyandthatheislikelytofounder’mostanytime。Hesaysthatdon’tworryhim；ifheknewGraceandIwereprovidedforhe’dsliphiscablewithacleanmanifest。Butthedreamofhislife，hesays，hasbeenthatweshouldmarry。Andhewantstoseeitdone。“

Keziahwassilentforamoment。Thenshesaidslowly：

“AndGraceherself？Howdoesshefeelaboutit？Hashespokentoher？“

“Idon’tknow。Iguesslikelyhehas。Perhapsthat’swhyshe’sbeensosortofmournfullately。Butnevermindwhetherhehasornot；Iwon’tdoitandItoldhimso。Hegotredhotinajiffy。

Iwasungratefulandstubbornandallsortsofthings。AndI，bein’aHammond，withsomeoftheHammondbalkinessinme，Isetmyfootdownashardashis。Andwehadituntil——until——well，untilIsawhimstaggerandtremblesothatIactuallygotscaredandfearedhewasgoin’tokeeloverwherehestood。

“’Whycan’tyou？’hekeptsayin’。’ButWHYcan’tyou？Ain’tsheagirlanyonewouldbeproudtohaveforawife？’’Coursetherewasnoanswertothatbutyes。Thenbackhecomesagainwith’Thenwhycan’tyou？’Atlast，bein’frightened，asIsaid，thathemighthaveanothershockorsomethin’，IsaidI’dthinkitoverandcomeawayandlefthim。AndIcomestraighttoyou。Keziah，whatshallIdo？Whatcanyousaytohelpme？“

Keziahwassilent。Shewaslooking，notathercompanion，butatthecarpetcenterofoneofthebraidedrugsonthefloor。Herfacewasverygraveandthelinesabouthermouthseemedtodeepen。

Herhands，claspedinherlap，tightenedoneupontheother。Buthervoicewascalmwhen，atlast，shespoke。

“Nat，“shesaid，“there’sonlyonethingIcansay。Andthat’swhatyourfathersaid：Whycan’tyou？“

Thecaptainsprangfromhischair。

“What？“hecriedincredulously。“Whatareyousayin’？“

“Justwhatyourfathersaid，Nat。Whycan’tyoumarryGrace？

She’sadear，goodgirland——“

“Thatbe——keelhauled！KeziahCoffin，yousitthereandaskmewhyIcan’tmarryher！YOUdo？“

“Yes，Nat。“

“Keziah，you’recrazy！Don’ttalktomelikethat。We’renotjokin’now。YouknowwhyIcan’tmarryher，noranyoneelseinthisroundworldbutyou。“

“Nat，Ican’tmarryyou。“

“Iknow，Iknow。You’realwayssayin’that。Butyoudon’tmeanit。Youcan’tmeanit。Why，youandmehavebeenpickedoutforeachotherbytheAlmighty，Keziah。IswearIbelievejustthat。

Wewenttogetherwhenwewereboyandgirl，topartiesandsuch。

WewaspromisedwhenIfirstwenttosea。Ifithadn’tbeenforthatfoolrowwehad——and’twasallmyfaultandIknowit——youneverwouldhaveletthatda——thatmiserableAnseCoffincomenearyou。Andwhen’twastoolateandyou’dmarriedhim，themean，drunken，cruel——“

“Hush，Nat！hush！Stopit！“

“Hewas，andyouknowhewas。Yes，andworsebesides。Runnin’offandleavin’awifelikeyouto——Oh，myGod！whenIthinkImighthavebeenyourhusbandtolookoutforyouandtakecareofyou！

Thatyoumighthavebeenwithmeonboardmyships。That，whenI

comedownthecompaniononstormynightsImighthavefoundyoutheretocomfortmeand——OKeziah！wearen’tyounganymore。

What’stheuseoffoolin’？Iwantyou。I’mgoin’tohaveyou。

Coffinisdeadthesetenyears。WhenIheardhewasdrownedoffthereinSingapore，allIcouldsaywas：’Servehimright！’AndI

sayitnow。Icomehomethenmoredeterminedtogetyou。Sayyes，andlet’sbehappy。Do！“

“Ican’t，Nat。“

“Whynot？ForHeavensakes！whynot？Don’tyoucareforme？

You’veletmethink——well，atanyrate，Ihavethoughtyoudid。

Youusedto。Don’tyou？“

“Nat，I——Icareforyoumorethananybodyelseonearth。ButI

can’tmarryyou。Oh，don’tkeepaskin’it！Pleasedon’t。Ican’tmarryyou，Nat。No！“

“Well，notnow，maybe。Notthismonth，oreventhisyear，perhaps，butsomeday——“

“No，Nat。Youmustlisten。There’snouseofthisgoin’onanylonger。Imeanit。Ican’tmarryyou。“

“Youwon’t，youmean。“

“Well，ifyouwishtothinkso。ThenIwon’t。“

“Butbyandby——“

“No，notbyandby。Never，Nat。Never。“

Hedrewhishandacrosshisforehead。

“Never！“herepeated，moretohimselfthantoher。

“Never。Yes，Nat。“

“Then，bytheeverlastin’！I’lldosomethin’——“

“No，no，youwon’t。NatHammond，Iknowyou。You’reagreatbig，brave-hearted，sensibleman。Youwon’tbefoolish。You’lldo——

yes，Ithinkyou’dbetterdojustwhatyourfatherasksyoutodo。

MarryGrace，ifshewantsyouandwillhaveyou。She’llmakeyouagoodwife；you’lllearntocareforher，andIknowshe’llhavethebesthusbandthatagirlcouldhopefor。AndyouandIwillbefriends，justaswe’vealwaysbeen，and——“

“Keziah，stopthat！Stopit，doyouhear！Idon’twanttolistentosuchstuff。ItellyouI’mpastsoftsoap，andIdidn’tthinkyou’dgiveittome。“

“Nat！“

“Oh，yes，’Nat’！Alotyoucarefor’Nat’！NotareasononGod’sfootstoolwhyyouwon’thaveme——exceptone，andthatonethatyoudon’twantme。“

“Please，Nat！Icanhardlybelievethisisyou。Thistroublewithyourfatherhasupsetyou。Youdon’tmeanwhatyousay。You’renottalkin’likeyourselfand——“

“Stopit，Itellyou。Idon’tfeellikemyself。Ibankedonyou，Keziah。I’velivedforyou。Andnow——OKeziah，takeitback！

Givemealittlehope，justenoughtokeepmyheadabovewater。“

“I’dliketo，Nat。IonlywishIcould。But’twouldn’tbeanyuse。Ican’tdoit。“