第2章

Hestopp\'d，however，assoonashecameuptous，withaworldoffrankness:andhavingahornsnuffboxinhishand，hepresenteditopentome-Youshalltastemine-saidI，pullingoutmybox(whichwasasmalltortoiseone)andputtingitintohishand-

\'Tismostexcellent，saidthemonk。Thendomethefavour，I

replied，toacceptoftheboxandall，andwhenyoutakeapinchoutofit，sometimesrecollectitwasthepeaceofferingofamanwhoonceusedyouunkindly，butnotfromhisheart。

Thepoormonkblush\'dasredasscarlet。MONDIEU!saidhe，pressinghishandstogether-youneverusedmeunkindly-I

shouldthink，saidthelady，heisnotlikely。Iblush\'dinmyturn；butfromwhatmovements，Ileavetothefewwhofeel，toanalyze-Excuseme，Madame，repliedI，-Itreatedhimmostunkindly；andfromnoprovocations-\'Tisimpossible，saidthelady-MyGod!criedthemonk，withawarmthofasseverationwhichseem\'dnottobelongtohim-thefaultwasinme，andintheindiscretionofmyzeal-Theladyopposedit，andIjoinedwithherinmaintainingitwasimpossible，thataspiritsoregulatedashis，couldgiveoffencetoany。

IknewnotthatcontentioncouldberenderedsosweetandpleasurableathingtothenervesasIthenfeltit-Weremainedsilent，withoutanysensationofthatfoolishpainwhichtakesplace，when，insuchacircle，youlookfortenminutesinoneanother\'sfaceswithoutsayingaword。Whilstthislasted，themonkrubbedhishornboxuponthesleeveofhistunic；andassoonasithadacquiredalittleairofbrightnessbythefriction-hemademealowbow，andsaid，\'twastoolatetosaywhetheritwastheweaknessorgoodnessofourtemperswhichhadinvolvedusinthiscontest-butbeitasitwould，-hebegg\'dwemightexchangeboxes-Insayingthis，hepresentedhistomewithonehand，ashetookminefrommeintheother，andhavingkissedit，-withastreamofgoodnatureinhiseyes，heputitintohisbosom，-andtookhisleave。

Iguardthisbox，asIwouldtheinstrumentalpartsofmyreligion，tohelpmymindontosomethingbetter:intruth，Iseldomgoabroadwithoutit；andoftandmanyatimehaveIcalledupbyitthecourteousspiritofitsownertoregulatemyown，inthejustlingsoftheworld:theyhadfoundfullemploymentforhis，asIlearntfromhisstory，tillabouttheforty-fifthyearofhisage，whenuponsomemilitaryservicesillrequited，andmeetingatthesametimewithadisappointmentinthetenderestofpassions，heabandonedtheswordandthesextogether，andtooksanctuarynotsomuchinhisconventasinhimself。

Ifeeladampuponmyspirits，asIamgoingtoadd，thatinmylastreturnthroughCalais，uponenquiringafterFatherLorenzo，I

heardhehadbeendeadnearthreemonths，andwasburied，notinhisconvent，but，accordingtohisdesire，inalittlecemeterybelongingtoit，abouttwoleaguesoff:Ihadastrongdesiretoseewheretheyhadlaidhim，-when，uponpullingouthislittlehornbox，asIsatbyhisgrave，andpluckingupanettleortwoattheheadofit，whichhadnobusinesstogrowthere，theyallstrucktogethersoforciblyuponmyaffections，thatIburstintoafloodoftears:-butIamasweakasawoman；andIbegtheworldnottosmile，buttopityme。

THEREMISEDOOR。CALAIS。

IHADneverquittedthelady\'shandallthistime，andhadhelditsolong，thatitwouldhavebeenindecenttohaveletitgo，withoutfirstpressingittomylips:thebloodandspirits，whichhadsufferedarevulsionfromher，crowdedbacktoherasIdidit。

Nowthetwotravellers，whohadspoketomeinthecoach-yard，happeningatthatcrisistobepassingby，andobservingourcommunications，naturallytookitintotheirheadsthatwemustbeMANANDWIFEatleast；so，stoppingassoonastheycameuptothedooroftheRemise，theoneofthemwhowastheInquisitiveTraveller，ask\'dus，ifwesetoutforParisthenextmorning?-I

couldonlyanswerformyself，Isaid；andtheladyadded，shewasforAmiens-Wedinedthereyesterday，saidtheSimpleTraveller-

Yougodirectlythroughthetown，addedtheother，inyourroadtoParis。Iwasgoingtoreturnathousandthanksfortheintelligence，THATAMIENSWASINTHEROADTOPARIS，but，uponpullingoutmypoormonk\'slittlehornboxtotakeapinchofsnuff，Imadethemaquietbow，andwishingthemagoodpassagetoDover-Theyleftusalone——

Nowwherewouldbetheharm，saidItomyself，ifIweretobegofthisdistressedladytoacceptofhalfofmychaise?-andwhatmightymischiefcouldensue?

Everydirtypassion，andbadpropensityinmynaturetookthealarm，asIstatedtheproposition-Itwillobligeyoutohaveathirdhorse，saidAvarice，whichwillputtwentylivresoutofyourpocket；-Youknownotwhatsheis，saidCaution；-orwhatscrapestheaffairmaydrawyouinto，whisper\'dCowardice-

Dependuponit，Yorick!saidDiscretion，\'twillbesaidyouwentoffwithamistress，andcamebyassignationtoCalaisforthatpurpose；——

Youcanneverafter，criedHypocrisyaloud，showyourfaceintheworld；-orrise，quothMeanness，inthechurch；-orbeanythinginit，saidPride，butalousyprebendary。

But\'tisacivilthing，saidI；-andasIgenerallyactfromthefirstimpulse，andthereforeseldomlistentothesecabals，whichservenopurpose，thatIknowof，buttoencompasstheheartwithadamant-Iturnedinstantlyabouttothelady——

Butshehadglidedoffunperceived，asthecausewaspleading，andhadmadetenoradozenpacesdownthestreet，bythetimeI

hadmadethedetermination；soIsetoffafterherwithalongstride，tomakehertheproposal，withthebestaddressIwasmasterof:butobservingshewalk\'dwithhercheekhalfrestinguponthepalmofherhand，-withtheslowshort-measur\'dstepofthoughtfulness，-andwithhereyes，asshewentstepbystep，fixedupontheground，itstruckmeshewastryingthesamecauseherself-Godhelpher!saidI，shehassomemother-in-law，ortartufishaunt，ornonsensicaloldwoman，toconsultupontheoccasion，aswellasmyself:sonotcaringtointerrupttheprocess，anddeemingitmoregallanttotakeheratdiscretionthanbysurprise，IfacedaboutandtookashortturnortwobeforethedooroftheRemise，whilstshewalk\'dmusingononeside。

INTHESTREET。CALAIS。

HAVING，onthefirstsightofthelady，settledtheaffairinmyfancy"thatshewasofthebetterorderofbeings；"-andthenlaiditdownasasecondaxiom，asindisputableasthefirst，thatshewasawidow，andworeacharacterofdistress，-Iwentnofurther；

Igotgroundenoughforthesituationwhichpleasedme；-andhadsheremainedclosebesidemyelbowtillmidnight，Ishouldhaveheldtruetomysystem，andconsideredheronlyunderthatgeneralidea。

Shehadscarcegottwentypacesdistantfromme，eresomethingwithinmecalledoutforamoreparticularenquiry；-itbroughtontheideaofafurtherseparation:-Imightpossiblyneverseehermore:-Theheartisforsavingwhatitcan；andIwantedthetracesthroughwhichmywishesmightfindtheirwaytoher，incaseIshouldneverrejoinhermyself；inaword，Iwishedtoknowhername，-herfamily\'s-hercondition；andasIknewtheplacetowhichshewasgoing，Iwantedtoknowfromwhenceshecame:buttherewasnocomingatallthisintelligence；ahundredlittledelicaciesstoodintheway。Iform\'dascoredifferentplans-

Therewasnosuchthingasaman\'saskingherdirectly；-thethingwasimpossible。

AlittleFrenchDEBONNAIREcaptain，whocamedancingdownthestreet，showedmeitwastheeasiestthingintheworld:for，poppinginbetwixtus，justastheladywasreturningbacktothedooroftheRemise，heintroducedhimselftomyacquaintance，andbeforehehadwellgotannounced，begg\'dIwoulddohimthehonourtopresenthimtothelady-Ihadnotbeenpresentedmyself；-soturningabouttoher，hediditjustaswell，byaskingherifshehadcomefromParis?No:shewasgoingthatroute，shesaid-

VOUSN\'ETESPASDELONDRES?-Shewasnot，shereplied-ThenMadamemusthavecomethroughFlanders-APPAREMMENTVOUSETES

FLAMMANDE?saidtheFrenchcaptain-Theladyanswered，shewas-

PEUTETREDELISLE?addedhe-Shesaid，shewasnotofLisle-

NorArras?-norCambray?-norGhent?-norBrussels?-Sheanswered，shewasofBrussels。

Hehadhadthehonour，hesaid，tobeatthebombardmentofitlastwar；-thatitwasfinelysituated，POURCELA，-andfullofnoblessewhentheImperialistsweredrivenoutbytheFrench(theladymadeaslightcourtesy)-sogivingheranaccountoftheaffair，andofthesharehehadhadinit，-hebegg\'dthehonourtoknowhername，-somadehisbow-

ETMADAMEASONMARI?-saidhe，lookingbackwhenhehadmadetwosteps，-and，withoutstayingforananswer-danceddownthestreet。

HadIservedsevenyearsapprenticeshiptogoodbreeding，Icouldnothavedoneasmuch。

THEREMISE。CALAIS。

ASthelittleFrenchcaptainleftus，Mons。DesseincameupwiththekeyoftheRemiseinhishand，andforthwithletusintohismagazineofchaises。

Thefirstobjectwhichcaughtmyeye，asMons。Desseinopen\'dthedooroftheRemise，wasanotheroldtatter\'dDESOBLIGEANT；andnotwithstandingitwastheexactpictureofthatwhichhadhitmyfancysomuchinthecoach-yardbutanhourbefore，-theverysightofitstirr\'dupadisagreeablesensationwithinmenow；andIthought\'twasachurlishbeastintowhosehearttheideacouldfirstenter，toconstructsuchamachine；norhadImuchmorecharityforthemanwhocouldthinkofusingit。

Iobservedtheladywasaslittletakenwithitasmyself:soMons。

Desseinledusontoacoupleofchaiseswhichstoodabreast，tellingus，asherecommendedthem，thattheyhadbeenpurchasedbymylordA。andB。togothegrandtour，buthadgonenofurtherthanParis，sowereinallrespectsasgoodasnew-Theyweretoogood；-soIpass\'dontoathird，whichstoodbehind，andforthwithbeguntochafferfortheprice-But\'twillscarceholdtwo，saidI，openingthedoorandgettingin-Havethegoodness，Madame，saidMons。Dessein，offeringhisarm，tostepin-Theladyhesitatedhalfasecond，andsteppedin；andthewaiterthatmomentbeckoningtospeaktoMon。Dessein，heshutthedoorofthechaiseuponus，andleftus。

THEREMISE。CALAIS。

C\'ESTBIENCOMIQUE，\'tisverydroll，saidthelady，smiling，fromthereflectionthatthiswasthesecondtimeweahadbeenlefttogetherbyaparcelofnonsensicalcontingencies，-C\'ESTBIEN

COMIQUE，saidshe——

Therewantsnothing，saidI，tomakeitsobutthecomicusewhichthegallantryofaFrenchmanwouldputitto，-tomakelovethefirstmoment，andanofferofhispersonthesecond。

\'TistheirFORT，repliedthelady。

Itissupposedsoatleast；-andhowithascometopass，continuedI，Iknownot；buttheyhavecertainlygotthecreditofunderstandingmoreoflove，andmakingitbetterthananyothernationuponearth；but，formyownpart，Ithinkthemarrantbunglers，andintruththeworstsetofmarksmenthatevertriedCupid\'spatience-

TothinkofmakinglovebySENTIMENTS!

Ishouldassoonthinkofmakingagenteelsuitofclothesoutofremnants:-andtodoit-pop-atfirstsight，bydeclaration-

issubmittingtheoffer，andthemselveswithit，tobesiftedwithalltheirPOURSandCONTRES，byanunheatedmind。

TheladyattendedasifsheexpectedIshouldgoon。

Considerthen，Madame，continuedI，layingmyhanduponhers:-

Thatgravepeoplehateloveforthename\'ssake；-

Thatselfishpeoplehateitfortheirown；-

Hypocritesforheaven\'s；-

Andthatallofus，botholdandyoung，beingtentimesworsefrightenedthanhurtbytheveryREPORT，-whatawantofknowledgeinthisbranchofcommenceamanbetrays，whoeverletsthewordcomeoutofhislips，tillanhourortwo，atleast，afterthetimethathissilenceuponitbecomestormenting。Acourseofsmall，quietattentions，notsopointedastoalarm，-norsovagueastobemisunderstood-withnowandthenalookofkindness，andlittleornothingsaiduponit，-leavesnatureforyourmistress，andshefashionsittohermind-

ThenIsolemnlydeclare，saidthelady，blushing，youhavebeenmakinglovetomeallthiswhile。

THEREMISE。CALAIS。

MONSIEURDESSEINcamebacktoletusoutofthechaise，andacquaintthelady，thecountdeL-，herbrother，wasjustarrivedatthehotel。ThoughIhadinfinitegoodwillforthelady，I

cannotsaythatIrejoicedinmyheartattheevent-andcouldnothelptellingherso；-foritisfataltoaproposal，Madame，saidI，thatIwasgoingtomaketoyou——

Youneednottellmewhattheproposalwas，saidshe，layingherhanduponbothmine，assheinterruptedme-AmanmygoodSir，hasseldomanofferofkindnesstomaketoawoman，butshehasapresentimentofitsomemomentsbefore-

Naturearmsherwithit，saidI，forimmediatepreservation-ButIthink，saidshe，lookinginmyface，Ihadnoeviltoapprehend，-and，todealfranklywithyou，haddeterminedtoacceptit-IfI

had-(shestoppedamoment)-Ibelieveyourgoodwillwouldhavedrawnastoryfromme，whichwouldhavemadepitytheonlydangerousthinginthejourney。

Insayingthis，shesufferedmetokissherhandtwice，andwithalookofsensibilitymixedwithconcern，shegotoutofthechaise，-andbidadieu。

INTHESTREET。CALAIS。

INEVERfinishedatwelveguineabargainsoexpeditiouslyinmylife:mytimeseemedheavy，uponthelossofthelady，andknowingeverymomentofitwouldbeastwo，tillIputmyselfintomotion，-Iorderedposthorsesdirectly，andwalkedtowardsthehotel。

Lord!saidI，hearingthetownclockstrikefour，andrecollectingthatIhadbeenlittlemorethanasinglehourinCalais，——

Whatalargevolumeofadventuresmaybegraspedwithinthislittlespanoflifebyhimwhointerestshisheartineverything，andwho，havingeyestoseewhattimeandchanceareperpetuallyholdingouttohimashejourneyethonhisway，missesnothinghecanFAIRLYlayhishandson!-

Ifthiswon\'tturnoutsomething，-anotherwill；-nomatter，-

\'tisanassayuponhumannature-Igetmylabourformypains，-

\'tisenough；-thepleasureoftheexperimenthaskeptmysensesandthebestpartofmybloodawake，andlaidthegrosstosleep。

IpitythemanwhocantravelfromDantoBeersheba，andcry，\'Tisallbarren；-andsoitis:andsoisalltheworldtohimwhowillnotcultivatethefruitsitoffers。Ideclare，saidI，clappingmyhandscheerilytogether，thatwereIinadesert，Iwouldfindoutwherewithinittocallforthmyaffections:-ifIcouldnotdobetter，Iwouldfastenthemuponsomesweetmyrtle，orseeksomemelancholycypresstoconnectmyselfto；-Iwouldcourttheirshade，andgreetthemkindlyfortheirprotection-Iwouldcutmynameuponthem，andsweartheyweretheloveliesttreesthroughoutthedesert:iftheirleaveswither\'d，Iwouldteachmyselftomourn；and，whentheyrejoiced，Iwouldrejoicealongwiththem。

ThelearnedSmelfungustravelledfromBoulognetoParis，-fromParistoRome，-andsoon；-buthesetoutwiththespleenandjaundice，andeveryobjecthepass\'dbywasdiscolouredordistorted-Hewroteanaccountofthem，but\'twasnothingbuttheaccountofhismiserablefeelings。

ImetSmelfungusinthegrandporticoofthePantheon:-hewasjustcomingoutofit-\'TISNOTHINGBUTAHUGECOCKPIT，saidhe:-

IwishyouhadsaidnothingworseoftheVenusofMedicis，repliedI；-forinpassingthroughFlorence，Ihadheardhehadfallenfouluponthegoddess，andusedherworsethanacommonstrumpet，withouttheleastprovocationinnature。

Ipopp\'duponSmelfungusagainatTurin，inhisreturnhome；andasadtaleofsorrowfuladventureshadhetotell，"whereinhespokeofmovingaccidentsbyfloodandfield，andofthecannibalsthateachothereat:theAnthropophagi:"-hehadbeenflayedalive，andbedevil\'d，andusedworsethanSt。Bartholomew，ateverystagehehadcomeat——

I\'lltellit，criedSmelfungus，totheworld。Youhadbettertellit，saidI，toyourphysician。

Mundungus，withanimmensefortune，madethewholetour；goingonfromRometoNaples，-fromNaplestoVenice，-fromVenicetoVienna，-toDresden，toBerlin，withoutonegenerousconnectionorpleasurableanecdotetotellof；buthehadtravell\'dstraighton，lookingneithertohisrighthandnorhisleft，lestLoveorPityshouldseducehimoutofhisroad。

Peacebetothem!ifitistobefound；butheavenitself，wereitpossibletogettherewithsuchtempers，wouldwantobjectstogiveit；everygentlespiritwouldcomeflyinguponthewingsofLovetohailtheirarrival-NothingwouldthesoulsofSmelfungusandMundungushearof，butfreshanthemsofjoy，freshrapturesoflove，andfreshcongratulationsoftheircommonfelicity-I

heartilypitythem；theyhavebroughtupnofacultiesforthiswork；and，werethehappiestmansioninheaventobeallottedtoSmelfungusandMundungus，theywouldbesofarfrombeinghappy，thatthesoulsofSmelfungusandMundunguswoulddopenancetheretoalleternity!

MONTREUIL。

IHADoncelostmyportmanteaufrombehindmychaise，andtwicegotoutintherain，andoneofthetimesuptothekneesindirt，tohelpthepostiliontotieiton，withoutbeingabletofindoutwhatwaswanting-NorwasittillIgottoMontreuil，uponthelandlord\'saskingmeifIwantednotaservant，thatitoccurredtome，thatthatwastheverything。

Aservant!ThatIdomostsadly，quothI-Because，Monsieur，saidthelandlord，thereisacleveryoungfellow，whowouldbeveryproudofthehonourtoserveanEnglishman-ButwhyanEnglishone，morethananyother?-Theyaresogenerous，saidthelandlord-I\'llbeshotifthisisnotalivreoutofmypocket，quothItomyself，thisverynight-Buttheyhavewherewithaltobeso，Monsieur，addedhe-Setdownonelivremoreforthat，quothI-Itwasbutlastnight，saidthelandlord，QU\'UNMILORD

ANGLOISPRESENTOITUNECUELAFILLEDECHAMBRE-TANTPISPOUR

MADEMOISELLEJANATONE，saidI。

NowJanatone，beingthelandlord\'sdaughter，andthelandlordsupposingIwasyounginFrench，tookthelibertytoinformme，I

shouldnothavesaidTANTPIS-but，TANTMIEUX。TANTMIEUX，TOUJOURS，MONSIEUR，saidhe，whenthereisanythingtobegot-

TANTPIS，whenthereisnothing。Itcomestothesamething，saidI。PARDONNEZ-MOI，saidthelandlord。

Icannottakeafitteropportunitytoobserve，onceforall，thatTANTPISandTANTMIEUX，beingtwoofthegreathingesinFrenchconversation，astrangerwoulddowelltosethimselfrightintheuseofthem，beforehegetstoParis。

ApromptFrenchmarquisatourambassador\'stabledemandedofMr。

H-，ifhewasH-thepoet?No，saidMr。H-，mildly-TANTPIS，repliedthemarquis。

ItisH-thehistorian，saidanother，-TANTMIEUX，saidthemarquis。AndMr。H-，whoisamanofanexcellentheart，return\'dthanksforboth。

Whenthelandlordhadsetmerightinthismatter，hecalledinLaFleur，whichwasthenameoftheyoungmanhehadspokeof，-

sayingonlyfirst，Thatasforhistalentshewouldpresumetosaynothing，-Monsieurwasthebestjudgewhatwouldsuithim；butforthefidelityofLaFleurhewouldstandresponsibleinallhewasworth。

Thelandlorddeliver\'dthisinamannerwhichinstantlysetmymindtothebusinessIwasupon；-andLaFleur，whostoodwaitingwithout，inthatbreathlessexpectationwhicheverysonofnatureofushavefeltinourturns，camein。

MONTREUIL。

IAMapttobetakenwithallkindsofpeopleatfirstsight；butnevermoresothanwhenapoordevilcomestoofferhisservicetosopooradevilasmyself；andasIknowthisweakness，Ialwayssuffermyjudgmenttodrawbacksomethingonthatveryaccount，-

andthismoreorless，accordingtothemoodIamin，andthecase；-

andImayadd，thegendertoo，ofthepersonIamtogovern。

WhenLaFleurenteredtheroom，aftereverydiscountIcouldmakeformysoul，thegenuinelookandairofthefellowdeterminedthematteratonceinhisfavour；soIhiredhimfirst，-andthenbegantoenquirewhathecoulddo:ButIshallfindouthistalents，quothI，asIwantthem，-besides，aFrenchmancandoeverything。

NowpoorLaFleurcoulddonothingintheworldbutbeatadrum，andplayamarchortwouponthefife。Iwasdeterminedtomakehistalentsdo；andcan\'tsaymyweaknesswaseversoinsultedbymywisdomasintheattempt。

LaFleurhadsetoutearlyinlife，asgallantlyasmostFrenchmendo，withSERVINGforafewyears；attheendofwhich，havingsatisfiedthesentiment，andfound，moreover，Thatthehonourofbeatingadrumwaslikelytobeitsownreward，asitopen\'dnofurthertrackofglorytohim，-heretiredESESTERRES，andlivedCOMMEILPLAISOITEDIEU；-thatistosay，uponnothing-

Andso，quothWisdom，youhavehiredadrummertoattendyouinthistourofyoursthroughFranceandItaly!-Psha!saidI，anddonotonehalfofourgentrygowithahumdrumCOMPAGNONDUVOYAGE

thesameround，andhavethepiperandthedevilandalltopaybesides?WhenmancanextricatehimselfwithanEQUIVOQUEinsuchanunequalmatch，-heisnotilloff-Butyoucandosomethingelse，LaFleur?saidI-OQU\'OUI!hecouldmakespatterdashes，andplayalittleuponthefiddle-Bravo!saidWisdom-Why，I

playabassmyself，saidI；-weshalldoverywell。Youcanshave，anddressawigalittle，LaFleur?-Hehadallthedispositionsintheworld-Itisenoughforheaven!saidI，interruptinghim，-andoughttobeenoughforme-So，suppercomingin，andhavingafriskyEnglishspanielononesideofmychair，andaFrenchvalet，withasmuchhilarityinhiscountenanceaseverNaturepaintedinone，ontheother，-Iwassatisfiedtomyheart\'scontentwithmyempire；andifmonarchsknewwhattheywouldbeat，theymightbeassatisfiedasIwas。

MONTREUIL。

ASLaFleurwentthewholetourofFranceandItalywithme，andwillbeoftenuponthestage，Imustinterestthereaderalittlefurtherinhisbehalf，bysaying，thatIhadneverlessreasontorepentoftheimpulseswhichgenerallydodetermineme，thaninregardtothisfellow；-hewasafaithful，affectionate，simplesoulasevertrudgedaftertheheelsofaphilosopher；and，notwithstandinghistalentsofdrumbeatingandspatterdash-making，which，thoughverygoodinthemselves，happenedtobeofnogreatservicetome，yetwasIhourlyrecompensedbythefestivityofhistemper；-itsuppliedalldefects:-Ihadaconstantresourceinhislooksinalldifficultiesanddistressesofmyown-Iwasgoingtohaveaddedofhistoo；butLaFleurwasoutofthereachofeverything；for，whether\'twashungerorthirst，orcoldornakedness，orwatchings，orwhateverstripesofillluckLaFleurmetwithinourjourneyings，therewasnoindexinhisphysiognomytopointthemoutby，-hewaseternallythesame；sothatifIamapieceofaphilosopher，whichSatannowandthenputsitintomyheadIam，-italwaysmortifiestheprideoftheconceit，byreflectinghowmuchIowetothecomplexionalphilosophyofthispoorfellow，forshamingmeintooneofabetterkind。Withallthis，LaFleurhadasmallcastofthecoxcomb，-butheseemedatfirstsighttobemoreacoxcombofnaturethanofart；and，beforeIhadbeenthreedaysinPariswithhim，-heseemedtobenocoxcombatall。

MONTREUIL。

THEnextmorning，LaFleurenteringuponhisemployment，I

deliveredtohimthekeyofmyportmanteau，withaninventoryofmyhalfadozenshirtsandsilkpairofbreeches，andbidhimfastenalluponthechaise，-getthehorsesputto，-anddesirethelandlordtocomeinwithhisbill。

C\'ESTUNGARCONDEBONNEFORTUNE，saidthelandlord，pointingthroughthewindowtohalfadozenwencheswhohadgotroundaboutLaFleur，andweremostkindlytakingtheirleaveofhim，asthepostilionwasleadingoutthehorses。LaFleurkissedalltheirhandsroundandroundagain，andthricehewipedhiseyes，andthricehepromisedhewouldbringthemallpardonsfromRome-

Theyoungfellow，saidthelandlord，isbelovedbyallthetown，andthereisscarceacornerinMontreuilwherethewantofhimwillnotbefelt:hehasbutonemisfortuneintheworld，continuedhe，"heisalwaysinlove。"-Iamheartilygladofit，saidI，-

\'twillsavemethetroubleeverynightofputtingmybreechesundermyhead。Insayingthis，IwasmakingnotsomuchLaFleur\'selogeasmyown，havingbeeninlovewithoneprincessoranotheralmostallmylife，andIhopeIshallgoonsotillIdie，beingfirmlypersuaded，thatifeverIdoameanaction，itmustbeinsomeintervalbetwixtonepassionandanother:whilstthisinterregnumlasts，Ialwaysperceivemyheartlockedup，-IcanscarcefindinittogiveMiseryasixpence；andthereforeIalwaysgetoutofitasfastasIcan-andthemomentIamrekindled，Iamallgenerosityandgood-willagain；andwoulddoanythingintheworld，eitherfororwithanyone，iftheywillbutsatisfymethereisnosininit-

Butinsayingthis，-sureIamcommandingthepassion，-notmyself。

AFRAGMENT-

THEtownofAbdera，notwithstandingDemocrituslivedthere，tryingallthepowersofironyandlaughtertoreclaimit，wasthevilestandmostprofligatetowninallThrace。Whatforpoisons，conspiracies，andassassinations，-libels，pasquinades，andtumults，therewasnogoingtherebyday-\'twasworsebynight。

Now，whenthingswereattheworst，itcametopassthattheAndromedaofEuripidesbeingrepresentedatAbdera，thewholeorchestrawasdelightedwithit:butofallthepassageswhichdelightedthem，nothingoperatedmoreupontheirimaginationsthanthetenderstrokesofnaturewhichthepoethadwroughtupinthatpatheticspeechofPerseus，OCUPID，PRINCEOFGODSANDMEN!&c。

Everymanalmostspokepureiambicsthenextday，andtalkedofnothingbutPerseushispatheticaddress，-"OCUPID!PRINCEOF

GODSANDMEN!"-ineverystreetofAbdera，ineveryhouse，"O

Cupid!Cupid!"-ineverymouth，likethenaturalnotesofsomesweetmelodywhichdropfromit，whetheritwillorno，-nothingbut"Cupid!Cupid!princeofgodsandmen!"-Thefirecaught-andthewholecity，liketheheartofoneman，open\'ditselftoLove。

Nopharmacopolistcouldsellonegrainofhellebore，-notasinglearmourerhadahearttoforgeoneinstrumentofdeath；-FriendshipandVirtuemettogether，andkiss\'deachotherinthestreet；thegoldenagereturned，andhungoverthetownofAbdera-everyAbderitetookhiseatenpipe，andeveryAbderitishwomanleftherpurpleweb，andchastelysatherdownandlistenedtothesong。

\'Twasonlyinthepower，saystheFragment，oftheGodwhoseempireextendethfromheaventoearth，andeventothedepthsofthesea，tohavedonethis。

MONTREUIL。

WHENallisready，andeveryarticleisdisputedandpaidforintheinn，unlessyouarealittlesour\'dbytheadventure，thereisalwaysamattertocompoundatthedoor，beforeyoucangetintoyourchaise；andthatiswiththesonsanddaughtersofpoverty，whosurroundyou。Letnomansay，"Letthemgotothedevil!"-

\'tisacrueljourneytosendafewmiserables，andtheyhavehadsufferingsenowwithoutit:Ialwaysthinkitbettertotakeafewsousoutinmyhand；andIwouldcounseleverygentletravellertodosolikewise:heneednotbesoexactinsettingdownhismotivesforgivingthem；-Theywillberegisteredelsewhere。

Formyownpart，thereisnomangivessolittleasIdo；forfew，thatIknow，havesolittletogive；butasthiswasthefirstpublicactofmycharityinFrance，Itookthemorenoticeofit。

Awell-a-way!saidI，-Ihavebuteightsousintheworld，showingtheminmyhand，andthereareeightpoormenandeightpoorwomenfor\'em。

Apoortatter\'dsoul，withoutashirton，instantlywithdrewhisclaim，byretiringtwostepsoutofthecircle，andmakingadisqualifyingbowonhispart。HadthewholePARTERREcriedout，PLACEAUXDAMES，withonevoice，itwouldnothaveconveyedthesentimentofadeferenceforthesexwithhalftheeffect。

JustHeaven!forwhatwisereasonshastthouorderedit，thatbeggaryandurbanity，whichareatsuchvarianceinothercountries，shouldfindawaytobeatunityinthis?-

Iinsisteduponpresentinghimwithasinglesous，merelyforhisPOLITESSE。

Apoorlittledwarfishbriskfellow，whostoodoveragainstmeinthecircle，puttingsomethingfirstunderhisarm，whichhadoncebeenahat，tookhissnuff-boxoutofhispocket，andgenerouslyoffer\'dapinchonbothsidesofhim:itwasagiftofconsequence，andmodestlydeclined-Thepoorlittlefellowpressedituponthemwithanodofwelcomeness-PRENEZEN-PRENEZ，saidhe，lookinganotherway；sotheyeachtookapinch-Pitythyboxshouldeverwantone!saidItomyself；soIputacoupleofsousintoit-takingasmallpinchoutofhisbox，toenhancetheirvalue，asIdidit。Hefelttheweightofthesecondobligationmorethanofthefirst，-\'twasdoinghimanhonour，-theotherwasonlydoinghimacharity；-andhemademeabowdowntothegroundforit。